- Mon Aug 26, 2002 12:00 am
#21753
1. Gwyneth Paltrow is allegedly dating Chris Martin of Coldplay. Now usually I find rockstars always have the pick of women but I feel that he went wide of the mark picking her.
2. Now that David Dickinson has decamped to 8pm (yes i know he will be back in the morning), it means having to find other morning programmes to watch. Now I have two choices but after watching Fridays episode my mind is made up.
a/ Through The Keyhole - Tell me, have you ever guessed who the person is before they reveal who it is. 9 times out of 10 im still none the wiser as to who it is after they do. The other day they had some woman called Ruby Hammer, presumably they chose her house cos she had a slightly amusing name. She was big in make up we were told.
but the winner was
b/ THE LOVEBOAT RETURNS - Now I happen to be looking around for crap at around noon because Channel 4 keep repeating Will & Grace, the most unfunniest pile of bilge since Absolutely Fabulous, that I switched and saw this. Right the plot is theres people on the boat and most of them are in love. The plots make Emmerdale look professional. Fridays included some potion that made the persons wish come true. One fella had wished to see everyone naked. He forgot that meant his mum too. Oh how I laughed. But the piece de resistance was the Special Guest Star which was ALF. Fantastic.
Alf is a long lost great who should be brought back.
3. How long can you go - Hear'Say
Hear'Say hurtled down the charts faster than you can say "Dolls House" with their insipid trash. They mimed again on TOTP blaming the energetic dance routine as to why they had to mime. Do dance routines sell songs. Did it make a blind bit of difference to the viewers. No, the record company said that Myleene boobs were overshadowing the other 3 tits who stand at the back and pretend that they are straight.
Theres only one thing than being in Hear'Say - Being Kym Marsh - Jesus where to start. You leave a band cos you cant hack it after 6 months bearing in mind it took more than 6 months to get into it. Then she marries Jack Ryder (Adam Rickitt minus the biceps). who is 6 years her junior, presumably as a babysitter though it would be hard to figure which one is the kid. She looks like she could smother him to death. Then sell your pictures to OK Magazine and to top it all off, get Sky to record it. Wouldnt be surprised if you see in 3 months
SKY BOX OFFICE PRESENTS - SEX WITH JACK & KYM
Thats right the intimate couple will perform any act you wish with the touch of your digital remote control. The red button will make Jack put on the condom while the unique 16 angles with Sky Interactive will feature ass cam on both participants.
4. Titters Tittley, I thought brought his name into shame when he jumped at the chance of judging and drenching the Miss Wet TShirt contest at Telford. As with Moyles, I thought this thing was done away with. So thats what the poll. If you were asked to judge a Wet TShirt Contest, would you do it?
2. Now that David Dickinson has decamped to 8pm (yes i know he will be back in the morning), it means having to find other morning programmes to watch. Now I have two choices but after watching Fridays episode my mind is made up.
a/ Through The Keyhole - Tell me, have you ever guessed who the person is before they reveal who it is. 9 times out of 10 im still none the wiser as to who it is after they do. The other day they had some woman called Ruby Hammer, presumably they chose her house cos she had a slightly amusing name. She was big in make up we were told.
but the winner was
b/ THE LOVEBOAT RETURNS - Now I happen to be looking around for crap at around noon because Channel 4 keep repeating Will & Grace, the most unfunniest pile of bilge since Absolutely Fabulous, that I switched and saw this. Right the plot is theres people on the boat and most of them are in love. The plots make Emmerdale look professional. Fridays included some potion that made the persons wish come true. One fella had wished to see everyone naked. He forgot that meant his mum too. Oh how I laughed. But the piece de resistance was the Special Guest Star which was ALF. Fantastic.
Alf is a long lost great who should be brought back.
3. How long can you go - Hear'Say
Hear'Say hurtled down the charts faster than you can say "Dolls House" with their insipid trash. They mimed again on TOTP blaming the energetic dance routine as to why they had to mime. Do dance routines sell songs. Did it make a blind bit of difference to the viewers. No, the record company said that Myleene boobs were overshadowing the other 3 tits who stand at the back and pretend that they are straight.
Theres only one thing than being in Hear'Say - Being Kym Marsh - Jesus where to start. You leave a band cos you cant hack it after 6 months bearing in mind it took more than 6 months to get into it. Then she marries Jack Ryder (Adam Rickitt minus the biceps). who is 6 years her junior, presumably as a babysitter though it would be hard to figure which one is the kid. She looks like she could smother him to death. Then sell your pictures to OK Magazine and to top it all off, get Sky to record it. Wouldnt be surprised if you see in 3 months
SKY BOX OFFICE PRESENTS - SEX WITH JACK & KYM
Thats right the intimate couple will perform any act you wish with the touch of your digital remote control. The red button will make Jack put on the condom while the unique 16 angles with Sky Interactive will feature ass cam on both participants.
4. Titters Tittley, I thought brought his name into shame when he jumped at the chance of judging and drenching the Miss Wet TShirt contest at Telford. As with Moyles, I thought this thing was done away with. So thats what the poll. If you were asked to judge a Wet TShirt Contest, would you do it?
dave benson phillips