chrismoyles.net
- Tue Sep 03, 2002 6:51 pm
#23698
1-Jonnys full name is Jonny Margaret Hoare.
2-Jonny writes all his posts to ChrisMoyles.net in the nude."If my body is free,then my mind will be too" he reasons.Police have repeatedly ordered Jonny to shut his curtains or face a jail sentence.
3-Other famous Jonnys include former childrens presenter Jonny Ball,country legend Jonny Cash,and actor/songwriter Jonny Nail.Other famous Hoares include Ab-Fab star Jane Hoare-licks and media hoare Jamie Oliver.
4-Despite his suggestive surname Jonny has never given his body to the opposite sex for cash,although he came close in 1994 when he sold his hair to rock legend Sir Elton John.In exchange Jonny now owns sole recording rights to 'Candle In The Wind.
5-In 1997 Jonny entered the business world but his condomn company 'Jonnys Jonnies' was not a sucsess."Customers were put off by our 'Try before you buy' demand" recalls Jonny.
6-Don't be fooled by Jonnys trademark spectacles-he has 20/20 vision! "I just wear them to make me look sexier" he whispers.
7-Contrary to popular belief Jonny does NOT 'hate jazz' "I have a range of magazines under my bed dealing in the very subject" he chirps.
8-Despite his cueball cranium Jonny ownes a wide variety of expensive combs which he uses to groom the hair around his scr*tum-"the ladies love that fresh from the barber look" he insists.
9-Jonnys impressive 3000+post tally is not the only record he holds.Jonny will go down in history for the longest love making session when in 1998 he had sex with the lovley Debbie Mcgee for an incredible 3 weeks."There was smoke coming out of her ears and she was still smiling for ten months afterwards" he says.
10-In a tragic accident last year Jonny lost his p*nis."It got bitten off by a wild ferret" he laughs.
2-Jonny writes all his posts to ChrisMoyles.net in the nude."If my body is free,then my mind will be too" he reasons.Police have repeatedly ordered Jonny to shut his curtains or face a jail sentence.
3-Other famous Jonnys include former childrens presenter Jonny Ball,country legend Jonny Cash,and actor/songwriter Jonny Nail.Other famous Hoares include Ab-Fab star Jane Hoare-licks and media hoare Jamie Oliver.
4-Despite his suggestive surname Jonny has never given his body to the opposite sex for cash,although he came close in 1994 when he sold his hair to rock legend Sir Elton John.In exchange Jonny now owns sole recording rights to 'Candle In The Wind.
5-In 1997 Jonny entered the business world but his condomn company 'Jonnys Jonnies' was not a sucsess."Customers were put off by our 'Try before you buy' demand" recalls Jonny.
6-Don't be fooled by Jonnys trademark spectacles-he has 20/20 vision! "I just wear them to make me look sexier" he whispers.
7-Contrary to popular belief Jonny does NOT 'hate jazz' "I have a range of magazines under my bed dealing in the very subject" he chirps.
8-Despite his cueball cranium Jonny ownes a wide variety of expensive combs which he uses to groom the hair around his scr*tum-"the ladies love that fresh from the barber look" he insists.
9-Jonnys impressive 3000+post tally is not the only record he holds.Jonny will go down in history for the longest love making session when in 1998 he had sex with the lovley Debbie Mcgee for an incredible 3 weeks."There was smoke coming out of her ears and she was still smiling for ten months afterwards" he says.
10-In a tragic accident last year Jonny lost his p*nis."It got bitten off by a wild ferret" he laughs.
