[The Cornishman]

I understand you are in Switzerland at the moment.If you can acsess these messages from abroad I wonder if you could help.I don't seem to be able to switch off your burglar alarm.Roughly how far is your house from the nearet police station?Also I can't find a single bleedin' bottle opener anywhere either. This has really ruined my afternoon.

[The Cornishman]

The milk smells a bit funny aswell.Several of the yogurts reach their expiry dates on Thursday but I'll have probably eaten them by then,so you're okay there.Oh hang on,I can hear someone pulling up outside.Oh f*ck,they've brought along some dogs.Quick,where do you keep the rat poison?

[The Peter Kay Fan]

lmao

[Lawrie]

Cornishman is THE funniest poster on this board this year

[Adam]

no shit.

[Ickle Angel]

I agree with DRLOZ I think he is too

[Adam]

have you ever thought that they maybe a friend of a friend.

[TJD]

cornishman is definitely up for the best newcomer award.

[kendra k]

i have to agree with the comic genius of the cornisman, but i find it odd that loz has to restate the fact in every thread. is dr loz the president of the cornishman's fanclub, or is it something more?

[Adam]

he's just a big fan... thats all. he's pretty funny....

[TJD]

coming soon, the "cornishman world order"

[stevotrash]

Those of us with NHS zimmaframes and plastic hips know that the 'Samuel Peeps of Cornwall' is not a new comer. In fact I remember the days when the posts of Cornish Tw@t were met with much anger or indifference by many members. However, a few remained loyal to the art of observational humour back then. Nice to see others have embraced these modern day parables.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

hey i had to buy my zimmerframe..... bloody hospital