[The Cornishman]

I don't know why but I went through a phase of writing 'F**k The Pope' in tiny lettering on my bedroom wallpaper.I think I did it to annoy my dad who is Roman Catholic by birth.Since dad never came into my room I felt my dirty protest to be on solid ground.Until that is he announced that two of his brothers-my uncles-were coming at the weekend and would be sleeping in my room.Panic Stations! I attempted to juxtapose my scrawls with a few simple strokes into 'EOOK THE BOBE'-but due to the as yet unfathomed scientific rule that the originator of such profanity will always see the original words through the disguise- I panicked even more and eventually stripped the entire bedroom of its Heretic woodchip,explaining to dad that such drab surroundings are unbecoming of members of senior Cornishman clan.Much to my surprise,instead of a thrashing to within 2.5 centimetres (metric) of my fledgling life,he gave me a smile and £10 to go and choose some new wallpaper.Result!

PS. 'F'uck The Pope'

[MK Chris]

due to the as yet unfathomed scientific rule that the originator of such profanity will always see the original words through the disguise

See the sod's law thread!

[Bridgie]

well spotted. if only their were awards for this kind of stuff

[Funky Drummer]

Cornishman, you are a genius.

[Bridgie]

when i was little (about 4), me and 2 friends got a black shoe pollish pen thing and drew all over my dads new white estate which was a company car. to top this off, before he knew we had also dragged a bag of cement from down the road along the pavement and emptied it onto the passenger seat. the funny thing is i cant remember gettin told off but i know i must have been.

bridgie

[Miss Charlie J]

thats hillarious i wish i had somethin like that but sadly i dont

[Morals]

Maybe you could get Cornishman to pop round and write "* the Pope" all over your dad's car...

[Lawrie]

I used to really fancy Debbie Gibson (80s Britney, kids!) and i would beg my dad to play her cds as i worshipped her...i saw a picture of her the other...............make the most of Ms Spears..she could go the same way

[Jonny Hoare]

debbie gibson only in my dreams

[Uglybob]

you know Bananarama, not the bleached haired one or the Siobhan one or the ugly looking one who replaced Siobham, the other one with the black, think she married andrew ridgely, i liked her.

[Bridgie]

i have another story from when i was about the same age as the "car incident" where me and the same friends collected several (about 10) ornaments from around the house, took them upstairs to the bathhroom and threw them onto the patio from the upstairs window so that they all smashed. i wasnt the instigator but got the blame. mum was not happy!!!!!!!

bridgie

[Funky Drummer]

crikey, you were a right little hell raiser as a kid bridgie!

[Bridgie]

i know i must have been a right little b****rd. i also remember a time when me and the same friends went round to one of their houses who had a sloped drive. we went into his house, got his mums car keys, unlocked it and took the hadbrake off. the car nearly ran me over but a neighbour jumped in the front and put the handbrake back on. all this at 6 yrs old. you may think this is bad but its not even touching on my dads stories. when he was younger him and some mates made a bomb in a biscuit tin and burried it in a river bank. when it exploded, the bank collapsed and flooded a housing estate. this is one of the his adventurous times.

bridgie

[Funky Drummer]

holy cow! these are getting bad to the point where I think you're either:

A) Making them up

or

B) Deserve to be locked up!

[Bridgie]

oooh oooh oooh, ive got another. when i was about 12 i went to a friends house. his next door neighbours were on holiday so we went and got his little brothers powder paints and bought some water bombs. then we put powder in each one and filled them up then lobbed them all at his neighbours house to make it more colourful. luckily for us when his parents found out and made us hose their house the paint washed straight off. close call for criminal damage.

bridgie

[Bridgie]

trust me im not making these up, but i am carrying this topic. lol. my dad and his friends were walking down the train tracks once (as you did in them days) and found a box of small explosives that they aparently used to put on tracks to warn trains if there was danger ahead (train runs over it and hears the explosion). they took them to his friends house and put them in their back garden. they took a shotput home from school the next day and repeatedly threw it at the box from upstairs in the house till they hit it. when it went off it blew the kitchen windows in. im nothing compared to him. what an inspiration to us all.

bridgie

[Bridgie]

i guess i better stop now. hmm, maybe i shouldnt have started

[Funky Drummer]

the mini explosives are actualy used by railway orkers to wrn of approaching trains, not to warn the trains of approaching danger. Almost there

[Bridgie]

anyway, you get the picture, and plus that sort of proves its true coz i had no idea what explosives he was on about. do they still use them today? sorry to change the subject, just wondering.

bridgie

[Funky Drummer]

hmmm...good question, but i dont know. and i dont know if anyone else would care!

[pond life]

Me and my mates were messing around in the lab at school making moylestove c-o-c-k-t-a-i-l-s, naplam and anthrax spores when we discovered an atomic bomb under the cupboard where the bunsen burner (who is Busen anyway?). Anyways we let the atom bomb off in the playground and there were this amazing mushroom (not magic mushrooms though which were a shame) cloud. It were cracking. We got a right telling off and no school dinners at Chonobyl High for some time apart from green slimey jelly which were aliens which became George Bush. Never liked jelly again

BORED?
If you wanna know: How to Build Your Own Atomic Bomb
go to
http://www.student.nada.kth.se/%7Env91-asa/atomic.html

[Morals]

My brother and I once decided to use my Dads car as a climbing frame - he wasn't too amused when he saw the dents in the roof....

[pond life]

anyone know how to breed fissile materials?

[MK Chris]

This might sound thick but... I ahve no idea what "fissile materlials" are!

[pond life]

material which fissile... unstable atoms which explode for more info go to
Saddams FAQ about atomic bombs...