chrismoyles.net
- Thu Dec 20, 2012 12:56 pm
#489050
*Big Band Intro*
*Peter Dickson* Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls.......and Foot-Loose, welcome to the Chrismoyles.net awards 2011 and 2012. Please welcome your host.......Devilsduck
*Big Band plays again**standing ovation*
Devilsduck: Hellooooo everybody. Welcome to the 2011 and 2012 award show. I wrote most of this last year, so it might be well out of date. Its been another interesting year...some sort of breakfast show ended or something...anyway...the show must go on...
Our first award of the night is going to be presented by someone rather special, please put your hands together and make him feel welcome...bmstinton93
*big band plays and Ben walks on stage to...some applause*
Ben: Good evening everyone, the first award of the evening is for Newbie of the last two years...lets have a look at the nominee
*video starts playing on the big screen of badger with a carrier bag, a bottle of baby oil and a box of kleenex*
Ben: ...well, due to the lack of newbies sticking around in 2011-12 the winner is flyingbadger...but sadly he cant be here tonight, but we can go live to a secret location where badger is about to be presented his award...richbrown, can you hear me
Rich: Hi Ben, I can hear you loud and clear
Ben: Good good, I thought we may have some terrible satellite delay gags coming our way...can you tell us where you are?
Rich: I am currently round the corner from badgers house, shall I go and knock on his door to present him with the award
Ben: go for it
*Rich walks up to a generic front door...but its slightly ajar, so rich walks in*
Ben: oh this is exciting
*Rich walks into a dingy dark room, the camera crew turn on the light*
Rich: Hello?
*camera pans round to badger tied to a chair with a Dyson attached to his nuts and a gag in his mouth*
Rich: oh, this is awkward, we will come back later
*cuts to advert break*
*returns from advert break*
Devilsduck: Well, we should have known better than to try something like that, but on with the show...we now have a treat for you, here playing his guitar, just for you is Zoot
*Zoot swaggers on stage and starts banging out some tunes, suddenly from nowhere someone runs onto the stage with an inflatable hammer and starts hitting zoot repeatedly*
*cuts back to Devilsduck*
Devilsduck: will nothing ever run smoothly on this god damn show...our next award is the most beautiful member called Zoot award, and to present the award...Nicola_Red
*Nic walks to the stage to a huge standing ovation*
Nic: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, it is an honour to be here to present the next award...the nominees are:
Zoot
Zoot
Zoot
Zoot and
None of the above
*imaginary Video plays*
*cuts back to Nic readjusting her top*
Nic: What...you’ve all seen it before! Anyway the winner is..........Zoot!
*Zoot struts on stage*
Zoot: thank you everyone, there was only ever one person who deserved this award and it was me, but I would like to thank all of you for making me the person I am today, without your input I wouldn’t be such a well rounded, level headed, generally cool and awesome guy.
*big band plays as zoot walks of stage with an incredible amount of booing from the audience to adverts*
*return from adverts*
Devilsduck: well done Zoot, now we move onto the real awards, so like Ben losing his virginity to a whale, lets make this a night to remember...our next award is for the Lady of the year award, and to present it...Boboff!!!
*big band plays as Boboff is lowered to the stage*
Boboff: Lets get this over and done with, i’m in a bad mood, but you wont notice, its hard to tell when im in a bad mood, I hide it very well!
The nominations for CM.net female of the year are:
Yudster
Nicola Red
Cat
And Devilsduck
Devilsduck: Oi
*video of highlights*
Boboff: and the winner is...my cm.net wife...the one...the only..Dev...Yudster!
*Yuds gets wheeled on stage*
Yudster: (slightly slured) thanks, you lot are horrible, but I love you all...every single one of you...except you..
*camera tries to pick up who she is looking at...*
Yudster: ...you skinny bitch
*Boboff moves the microphone stand out of the way and wheels Yuds of stage*
*cuts back to Devilsduck*
Devilsduck: well ladies and gentlemen, we only have one award left this year, but before that we now have for you... a question and answers session with Aled!
*Aled walks on stage to a round of applause*
Aled: thank you, now who has a question for me...*lots of hands go up*...that does involve revealing actual back stage details about why we do things on the show...*some hands go down*...the personal lives of the people I worked with...*more hands go down*...something overly personal that I would reveal even some of my closest friends...*more hands go down*...isnt a surgery question...*more hands go down, only one hand left*...yes you
Dimtimjim: Would you prefer to be attacked by a horse sized duck or a dozen duck sized horses?
Aled: oh f**k off
*Aled storms/minces off stage*
*cuts to advert break*
*return from advert break*
Devilsduck: So, Our next award is for man of the year and to present the award...Johnny1989
*Johnny walks on to the shaft theme tune*
Johnny: Er...hello, the nominees are:
• Topher
• Zoot
• Sav1our
• Devilsduck
• Boboff
• Dimtimjism
• Badger
And Chrysostom
*video of best bits plays*
Johnny: and the winner is...*gives himself a papercut opening the envelope*...Chyrsostom, once again though, Chrys could not be with us due to work commitments, but we have go him live via satilite...Chrys can you hear me:
Chrys: When are we on?
Johnny: You’re on now!
Chrys: This isn’t going to be like last year is it, where Zoot was answering the question before?
Johnny: Oh big hairy bollocks to...technical difficulties!
Chyrs: hello
Johnny: hello
Chrys: I’m on now...oops
Johnny: How do you feel about winning your award for man of the year?
Chrys: big hairy bollocks yourself!
Johnny: err, I think there is some delay
Chrys: hello
Johnny: ...errr!
Chrys: Its an honour, thank you all who voted for me
Johnny: well done buddy!
Chrys: errr
*cuts to advert break*
*returns from advert break*
Devilsduck: Well that just about sums up two years in the life on CM.net, lets have one last look at the best bits
*cuts to video*
Well Ladies,.Gentlemen, Boys, Girls and Scottish cross dressers, its been a pleasure....good night!
*Big band plays*
*credits roll*
*Peter Dickson* Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls.......and Foot-Loose, welcome to the Chrismoyles.net awards 2011 and 2012. Please welcome your host.......Devilsduck
*Big Band plays again**standing ovation*
Devilsduck: Hellooooo everybody. Welcome to the 2011 and 2012 award show. I wrote most of this last year, so it might be well out of date. Its been another interesting year...some sort of breakfast show ended or something...anyway...the show must go on...
Our first award of the night is going to be presented by someone rather special, please put your hands together and make him feel welcome...bmstinton93
*big band plays and Ben walks on stage to...some applause*
Ben: Good evening everyone, the first award of the evening is for Newbie of the last two years...lets have a look at the nominee
*video starts playing on the big screen of badger with a carrier bag, a bottle of baby oil and a box of kleenex*
Ben: ...well, due to the lack of newbies sticking around in 2011-12 the winner is flyingbadger...but sadly he cant be here tonight, but we can go live to a secret location where badger is about to be presented his award...richbrown, can you hear me
Rich: Hi Ben, I can hear you loud and clear
Ben: Good good, I thought we may have some terrible satellite delay gags coming our way...can you tell us where you are?
Rich: I am currently round the corner from badgers house, shall I go and knock on his door to present him with the award
Ben: go for it
*Rich walks up to a generic front door...but its slightly ajar, so rich walks in*
Ben: oh this is exciting
*Rich walks into a dingy dark room, the camera crew turn on the light*
Rich: Hello?
*camera pans round to badger tied to a chair with a Dyson attached to his nuts and a gag in his mouth*
Rich: oh, this is awkward, we will come back later
*cuts to advert break*
*returns from advert break*
Devilsduck: Well, we should have known better than to try something like that, but on with the show...we now have a treat for you, here playing his guitar, just for you is Zoot
*Zoot swaggers on stage and starts banging out some tunes, suddenly from nowhere someone runs onto the stage with an inflatable hammer and starts hitting zoot repeatedly*
*cuts back to Devilsduck*
Devilsduck: will nothing ever run smoothly on this god damn show...our next award is the most beautiful member called Zoot award, and to present the award...Nicola_Red
*Nic walks to the stage to a huge standing ovation*
Nic: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, it is an honour to be here to present the next award...the nominees are:
Zoot
Zoot
Zoot
Zoot and
None of the above
*imaginary Video plays*
*cuts back to Nic readjusting her top*
Nic: What...you’ve all seen it before! Anyway the winner is..........Zoot!
*Zoot struts on stage*
Zoot: thank you everyone, there was only ever one person who deserved this award and it was me, but I would like to thank all of you for making me the person I am today, without your input I wouldn’t be such a well rounded, level headed, generally cool and awesome guy.
*big band plays as zoot walks of stage with an incredible amount of booing from the audience to adverts*
*return from adverts*
Devilsduck: well done Zoot, now we move onto the real awards, so like Ben losing his virginity to a whale, lets make this a night to remember...our next award is for the Lady of the year award, and to present it...Boboff!!!
*big band plays as Boboff is lowered to the stage*
Boboff: Lets get this over and done with, i’m in a bad mood, but you wont notice, its hard to tell when im in a bad mood, I hide it very well!
The nominations for CM.net female of the year are:
Yudster
Nicola Red
Cat
And Devilsduck
Devilsduck: Oi
*video of highlights*
Boboff: and the winner is...my cm.net wife...the one...the only..Dev...Yudster!
*Yuds gets wheeled on stage*
Yudster: (slightly slured) thanks, you lot are horrible, but I love you all...every single one of you...except you..
*camera tries to pick up who she is looking at...*
Yudster: ...you skinny bitch
*Boboff moves the microphone stand out of the way and wheels Yuds of stage*
*cuts back to Devilsduck*
Devilsduck: well ladies and gentlemen, we only have one award left this year, but before that we now have for you... a question and answers session with Aled!
*Aled walks on stage to a round of applause*
Aled: thank you, now who has a question for me...*lots of hands go up*...that does involve revealing actual back stage details about why we do things on the show...*some hands go down*...the personal lives of the people I worked with...*more hands go down*...something overly personal that I would reveal even some of my closest friends...*more hands go down*...isnt a surgery question...*more hands go down, only one hand left*...yes you
Dimtimjim: Would you prefer to be attacked by a horse sized duck or a dozen duck sized horses?
Aled: oh f**k off
*Aled storms/minces off stage*
*cuts to advert break*
*return from advert break*
Devilsduck: So, Our next award is for man of the year and to present the award...Johnny1989
*Johnny walks on to the shaft theme tune*
Johnny: Er...hello, the nominees are:
• Topher
• Zoot
• Sav1our
• Devilsduck
• Boboff
• Dimtimjism
• Badger
And Chrysostom
*video of best bits plays*
Johnny: and the winner is...*gives himself a papercut opening the envelope*...Chyrsostom, once again though, Chrys could not be with us due to work commitments, but we have go him live via satilite...Chrys can you hear me:
Chrys: When are we on?
Johnny: You’re on now!
Chrys: This isn’t going to be like last year is it, where Zoot was answering the question before?
Johnny: Oh big hairy bollocks to...technical difficulties!
Chyrs: hello
Johnny: hello
Chrys: I’m on now...oops
Johnny: How do you feel about winning your award for man of the year?
Chrys: big hairy bollocks yourself!
Johnny: err, I think there is some delay
Chrys: hello
Johnny: ...errr!
Chrys: Its an honour, thank you all who voted for me
Johnny: well done buddy!
Chrys: errr
*cuts to advert break*
*returns from advert break*
Devilsduck: Well that just about sums up two years in the life on CM.net, lets have one last look at the best bits
*cuts to video*
Well Ladies,.Gentlemen, Boys, Girls and Scottish cross dressers, its been a pleasure....good night!
*Big band plays*
*credits roll*
Send me the answer to question 1!
P. S. Don't argue with Topher or Zoot
P. S. Don't argue with Topher or Zoot
