[Cornish_Tw@]

Noel Gallaghers Christmas Presents.<P>Following the sad demise of Noel 'feel my crinkly bottom' Edmonds. Oasis hard man Noel Gallagher takes time out from his rigorous schedule of  writing, drinking, and looking like Parker from Thunderbirds, to present this heartwarming show helping the less fortunate this Christmas. <br>At Londons Victoria hospital Noel eases the stress and pain of overworked night duty staff presenting them with several bottles of Jack Daniels. The OAP ward are seranaded  by Noel on his electric guitar with a set of contempary rock hits before the Oasis frontman delights the sick pensioners with his Ronnie Corbett impressions. The bushy eyebrowed one gives the childrens ward a very special recreation of one of his showbiz hotel strops. In this highly amusing portrayal of 'life on the road' Noel smashes up the only free bed, before throwing a highly expensive respiratory machine out of the window and threatening a doctor with 'I'll smash your f***ing face'    <br>From here Noel visits a rehabillitation center in Brixton where he nuts various doctors and security guards unconsciouse before presenting a giant satchet of mysterious white powder (possibly sherbet) to the aghast joy of the persons inside.<br>Finally Noel makes a pilgrimage to needy siblings in an orphanage where he presents them each with foreign packets of 20 Malbora, the new Oasis album ('theres plenty left over if anyone wants an extra copy') and second hand car radios which he tells them to 'get rid of real quick like'<br>Noels Christmas presents just one of the many highlights this Christmas. <br>COMING SOON. The Two Ronnies. Ronnie Corbert MC's his hillarious comic routine over a devestating drum and bass beat provided by his partner Roni Size.<P><br>Cheers!<br>Steely Treeve<P><br>  <P><br>  <P>