[Nicola_Red]

Just after seeing the joyous news that another chap I enjoy a "special friendship" with is now 'In A Relationship' (that's the second in recent weeks), I saw part of a Friends repeat in which they discussed the phenomenon of soulmates. Rachel said she thought there was one perfect person for everyone, Chandler said that whilst he thought some people were more suited to each other, he didn't believe in soulmates.

Now I've been single for two and a half years and most of the time I really like being that way, but I do occasionally wonder whether I'm destined to meet someone, or whether I'm just a stopover girl for guys on their way to their soulmates, and consequentially I'll be dying alone with many animals of various size and species in my house.

So:
1) Do you believe in soulmates? If so why, if not why not?
2) Do you think there is someone out there for me, or is my destiny to become the crazy old animal lady?

[Zoot]

1.) Yes, I do believe in soulmates, although I believe a Soulmate isn't someone you just 'bump into', like 'Hi, I'm your soulmate', its more that sombody 'becomes' your soulmate, wheere you connect after a while.

2.) No, because have you looked in a mirror lately? you're stunning.

[foot-loose]

1.) Yes, I do believe in soulmates, although I believe a Soulmate isn't someone you just 'bump into', like 'Hi, I'm your soulmate', its more that sombody 'becomes' your soulmate, wheere you connect after a while.

Basically... me.

[Yudster]

I believe that you grow into your soulmate, like zoot said. I certainly don't believe that it is reasonable to assume that you will one day just bump into the perfect person and have the perfect relationship - mainly because I don't think there's any evidence to suggest that this has ever happened to anyone - even the most "clicked" couples don't have perfect relationships, and still have to work at them.

As for your destiny Nicola, well, it's up to you isn't it? If you want to have a long term relationship in your life then you can - if you want to stay single, then you can. But if you want the former, don't start thinking it'll drop into your lap, to a very large extent being happily in love is much less something you feel, and much more something you DO.

[Console]

What is a soul-mate? The only definition I know of is the one from Greek mythology - where Zeus split a person into two people and they would be soul-mates (essentially sharing the same, other-worldly, soul). What is the definition we are using here?

[Zoot]

Console, are you 'Data' from Star Trek?

Everyone has their own definition of a soul-mate, mine is someone you have a unique connection / closeness with. It doesn't have to be a partner, could even be someone of the same sex, just someone has a mutual understanding of how each other thinks/works. Its a harmony thing. Its hard to explain, you just kinda 'know'.

[Console]

Console, are you 'Data' from Star Trek?

No, it's just something I've never really thought about before; and, as you seem to think that everyone has their own definition of the word, it seems to be pretty meaningless.

[Zoot]

Console, are you 'Data' from Star Trek?

No, it's just something I've never really thought about before; and, as you seem to think that everyone has their own definition of the word, it seems to be pretty meaningless.

Not at all. Its like asking 'what is love'? (baby don't hurt me, No more...) How can you define 'Love'? How do you know if you're in love or not? there is not a set rule for when you know you've fallen in love, but that doens't mean that the concept of love is meaningless, it is very very real.

[Yudster]

Not at all. Its like asking 'what is love'? (baby don't hurt me, No more...) How can you define 'Love'? How do you know if you're in love or not? there is not a set rule for when you know you've fallen in love, but that doens't mean that the concept of love is meaningless, it is very very real.

And, more to the point, it is a variable because everyone will have a different perspective on it. Just because it isn't a solid, defined object which is a constant, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I know you like definable constants Console, but there's more to life - as I'm sure you know really, you aren't fooling me with that robot act you have.

Where the hell is Viv when we need her, she understands this stuff!

[Console]

Not being a robot, just trying to figure out what the hell you people are talking about (referencing a Friends episode didn't help matters). If Zoot's pseudo-definition of 'soul-mate' is correct (for some people), then there are, obviously, soul-mates; but, are we talking about one person, a single person in all the world that is your 'soul-mate', or are we saying that there are many people in the world who could become a 'soul-mate'?

[Yudster]

Not being a robot, just trying to figure out what the hell you people are talking about (referencing a Friends episode didn't help matters). If Zoot's pseudo-definition of 'soul-mate' is correct (for some people), then there are, obviously, soul-mates; but, are we talking about one person, a single person in all the world that is your 'soul-mate', or are we saying that there are many people in the world who could become a 'soul-mate'?

We're saying that the answers to these questions can legitimately vary from person to person - stop asking for the definitive in a variable situation.

[Vivienne]

Yes, Nicola, there is a person for everyone, without question. Absolutely... However, though, I once read in a book that you may not meet your soulmate on the earth plain, but possibly when you reach the afterlife. Very interesting indeed. love this topic, Nics!! Don't worry, someone like you will never be alone.

[Yudster]

Don't worry, someone like you will never be alone.

THIS is the point. Well said Viv.

[Vivienne]

What is a soul-mate? The only definition I know of is the one from Greek mythology - where Zeus split a person into two people and they would be soul-mates (essentially sharing the same, other-worldly, soul). What is the definition we are using here?

= the moment you meet a certain someone, and you're like: bang, click!! The same way you can walk into a job, and you will know instantly you will be happy there!!

[Yudster]

What is a soul-mate? The only definition I know of is the one from Greek mythology - where Zeus split a person into two people and they would be soul-mates (essentially sharing the same, other-worldly, soul). What is the definition we are using here?

= the moment you meet a certain someone, and you're like: bang, click!! The same way you can walk into a job, and you will know instantly you will be happy there!!

See, thats not how it is for me - but that doesn't mean Viv is wrong, or that I am wrong either - just that our expectations and perceptions of things are different from each other. The concept is still totally real.

[Zoot]

As I said in the first post Console, a 'soulmate' isn't someone who already exists, its what somebody becomes after you grow closer to them. Its not like that stupid theory that everybody on earth has a double or any crap like that, or an alternate reality, its a 'connection' you gain with somebody. I know that seems really vague, but I can't think of any other way of putting it.

[Vivienne]

Absolutely, yuds!! Console, you told me you are in love with a local person, I take it. Well, from your above comments, I would tell you, you are not with your soulmate.

[Vivienne]

As I said in the first post Console, a 'soulmate' isn't someone who already exists, its what somebody becomes after you grow closer to them. Its not like that stupid theory that everybody on earth has a double or any crap like that, or an alternate reality, its a 'connection' you gain with somebody. I know that seems really vague, but I can't think of any other way of putting it.

I don't believe that, zoots! I think there is a person for everyone (already created)... you just meet them when you are destined to.

[Yudster]

Absolutely, yuds!! Console, you told me you are in love with a local person, I take it. Well, from your above comments, I would tell you, you are not with your soulmate.

I don't know - I knew Jon for years before we fell in love, and even then there was no instant knowledge, or understanding - it's been a gentler process than that, but I do believe he is my soulmate - and that relationship is still growing and developing, I hope it always will.

[Console]

As I said in the first post Console, a 'soulmate' isn't someone who already exists, its what somebody becomes after you grow closer to them.

I like that definition - it doesn't involve magic, and it makes sense. A soul-mate is someone that grows to know and understand you - I think that's the definition for me.

Console, you told me you are in love with a local person

That's not actually what I said, but the general gist is the same - and, with my new found definition of 'Soul-mate', I see no reason why they can't become mine.

[Yudster]

As I said in the first post Console, a 'soulmate' isn't someone who already exists, its what somebody becomes after you grow closer to them.

I like that definition - it doesn't involve magic, and it makes sense. A soul-mate is someone that grows to know and understand you - I think that's the definition for me.

Me too. You can't possibly understand anyone in an instant. You can be attracted in an instant, and that attraction might possibly develope - but really deep connections take time to forge.

[Vivienne]

Absolutely, yuds!! Console, you told me you are in love with a local person, I take it. Well, from your above comments, I would tell you, you are not with your soulmate.

I don't know - I knew Jon for years before we fell in love, and even then there was no instant knowledge, or understanding - it's been a gentler process than that, but I do believe he is my soulmate - and that relationship is still growing and developing, I hope it always will.

My mate says that too. She lived with someone for 20 years before they got married!! I think you have to be careful not to confuse the sexual stuff with deeper stuff! I mean, for example, I've been on a train, and I've thought, "mmmmm" (and worse)! You have to watch the difference between lustful thoughts and a deeper connection.. It's difficult to explain.

[Vivienne]

As I said in the first post Console, a 'soulmate' isn't someone who already exists, its what somebody becomes after you grow closer to them.

I like that definition - it doesn't involve magic, and it makes sense. A soul-mate is someone that grows to know and understand you - I think that's the definition for me.

Console, you told me you are in love with a local person

That's not actually what I said, but the general gist is the same - and, with my new found definition of 'Soul-mate', I see no reason why they can't become mine.

Just be careful!! OK!! And try and show her some bloody emotion!

[foot-loose]

Barry White was my soul mate. RIP big man

[Vivienne]

Don't be so ridiculous, foots. I thought Scott Mills was my soul-mate, until I discovered he bats for the other side (haw haw).