[Boboff]

These make me laugh.

I thought it might be fun to hear of your favorites.

The arse whole on wife swap last night came up with a cracker.


" You can't teach on Old Leopard to change his spots"

tit.

[MK Chris]

I point you to a web site that lists James Allen's quotes during his commentary of the F1 - there's a Phrasebook and some quotes.

My particular favourites:

[Positions] one, two and three separated by a handkerchief!

And today I think has proved that if you can keep your head when all those around you are losing theirs, then your name is Michael Schumacher.

kitchen sink, to throw the (at something) (verbal phrase)
to do everything in your power;presumably this has its origins in the phrase "everything but the kitchen sink", although quite how that exclusive concept translates to Allen's inclusive one eludes us; e.g. "They're throwing the kitchen sink at this car to try and get it to go faster."

Please, please don't let him get employed when the BBC have the F1 back.

[TIAL]

There are also lots of similar quotations in the 'Colemanballs' section of Private Eye.

I'm not sure if any of these count as real Malapropisms though.

[Yudster]

Mrs Malaprop was a character in a play by the British writer Sheridan who confused words and used incorrect words that sounded similar to the word she meant to say. If someone does this it is a Malapropism.

EXAMPLE OF A MALAPROPISM:

A politician is alleged to have said that he would support a colleague to the best of his "mobility", instead of "ability".

I'm not sure anything thats been posted here is a Malapropism.

My father in law stumbles (possibly deliberately) into a lot of Malapropisms. He has been known to watch prides of lions "hunting and eating gazebos" on the Discovery Channel, and his neighbour apparently "still hasn't finished building that gazelle in his garden".

Also if anyone says anything unfair about him he complains about being "misaligned".

[TIAL]

Let's not forget Comedy Dave trying to avoid being snapped by the pepperami.

[MK Chris]

Mrs Malaprop was a character in a play by the British writer Sheridan who confused words and used incorrect words that sounded similar to the word she meant to say. If someone does this it is a Malapropism.

EXAMPLE OF A MALAPROPISM:

A politician is alleged to have said that he would support a colleague to the best of his "mobility", instead of "ability".

I'm not sure anything thats been posted here is a Malapropism.

*feels stupid*

Does it have to be a word in the dictionary that they use instead? Like in Only Fools, Del Boy sometimes says 'statellite', which isn't in the dictionary, would that count?

[foot-loose]

I'm not sure how, i'm not sure where, but my willy waving senses are tingling in this thread.

Whoever is waving one - stop it now.