[Zoot]

I turn 30 in the next couple of weeks, and as i'm no longer part of the 'younger generation', I thought I'd pass down some general 'life tips' that I had to find out for myself so that the youngsters among you may take on board.

1 - Friends come and go
and only the very best ones stay

2 - Sex ISN"T everything
Seriously, do not underestimate the power of a nice snuggle under a warm duvet on a cold day.

3 - You only get one Mother and Father
but you don't really appreciate them till you get older and move out, then you look back and realise you really were a little shit when you were younger.

4 - Listen to old music
This is a great tip. Go to your parents music collection and just have a listen to what they used to listen too. The Beatles may be an obvious choice, but listen to some Hendrix, T-Rex, Thin Lizzy, The Kinks or even The BeeGees - Music doesn't HAVE to be sung by people who win TV shows you know...

5 - Hangovers only get worse
They do, I remember the time when I didn't understand what all the fuss was about, cause I always felt fine. I do now.

6 - Under wired bras kill washing machines
Have you ever heard the death-scream of a washing machine choking on an underwired bra? It's like the voice of the devil himself.

7 - If you go to Uni, get the balance right
Know when to party and when to study. It can be the best years of your life IF you get it right.

8 - Don't hold grudges
Life really is too short, and imagine if you never saw that person again?

9 - Learn to cook
Its more fun than you'd think!

10 - Money comes and goes
I've had alot of sleepless night worrying about money, especially near the end of the month but I began to realize that you get paid and all is good, then a few weeks later you'll feel exactly the same, then get paid again and so-on and so-on. Money really isn't the be-all and end-all that it seems to be, life is for living, not counting the pennies. Just be sensible.

11 - Take the piss out of yourself
Because if you don't somebody else will!

12 - Man cannot live on Cherryade alone
I should imagine you'd turn a funny red colour or something

13 - Healthy relationships = rows
This took me a while to work out. It is OK to row. It's when you bottle up your thought and feelings when the trouble starts.

14 - Respect other peoples views
People don't need you telling them how crap the bands are that they listen to, or that their choice of car sucks. They can work it out for themselves.

[Yudster]

I would add -

However bad it is now, there will be a time when you will look back at now and be able to say "Jeesh, that was a CRAP time". Thats a very helpful realisation - as long as you don't expect it to make the "now" bit any less crap, because it won't.

[jocky85]

Brilliant advice Zoot, definatley things you pick up on in life - especially appreciating people, its those 2 sayings 'never go to bed on an arguement' and 'you don't know what you've got until its gone' - I've learnt several of these by 23, but I know I've a lot more to come!!

[Boboff]

As a man I worked out this only recently.

If your partner is picking an argument with you then she will be worried about either being skint or fat, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you or what she is telling you is the matter with you. Skint or fat, they are the only things women really get upset about.

Your parents are arse holes, they make mistakes, they have not got all the answers, they are not some virtuous saint figure who know all the answers, any of their failings they probably learnt from their parents, ie Grand Parents. However you as an adult have a choice to like them or not, it is not the law, if you don't like them, and they make you sad, then don't fight with them, just forget them. They generally will appreciate being left alone. Burn no bridges, they will want you for something sometime, you owe them this.

Never loose "I" - Always keep a sense of self belief and identity, when you become a "we" or you live to rely on your partner, they won't be around long.

Share and play nicely.

[Nicola_Red]

I'd agree with everything said so far except maybe the cooking thing, cos I still can't really cook and it still makes me stressed and flustered to try, I think that's just my nature. I can bake tho, I like doing that.

Also, I agree very much that sex isn't everything, but I wouldn't wanna make it sound as if long term relationships are actually what a person should be concentrating more on as they got older. I was in long term r/ships all thru my 20s, and now I'm single and just have sex with people on a casual basis and I really like that way of life. I'm not saying that I won't wanna be in a r/ship ever again, and they definitely have plenty of advantages, but growing up doesn't have to mean settling down with someone if that's not what you want.

[MK Chris]

3 - You only get one Mother and Father
but you don't really appreciate them till you get older and move out, then you look back and realise you really were a little shit when you were younger.

Without wishing to sound smug, I realised this quite early on I think. I've always got on with my mum, although not so much with my dad and that's still the case - my mum has always been a great source of strength to me.

4 - Listen to old music
This is a great tip. Go to your parents music collection and just have a listen to what they used to listen too. The Beatles may be an obvious choice, but listen to some Hendrix, T-Rex, Thin Lizzy, The Kinks or even The BeeGees - Music doesn't HAVE to be sung by people who win TV shows you know...

This is how I discovered ELO, Kate Bush and others. Also, it's amazing the number of songs the Bee Gees wrote that you wouldn't realise they wrote if you didn't know.

5 - Hangovers only get worse
They do, I remember the time when I didn't understand what all the fuss was about, cause I always felt fine. I do now.

Pint of water before bed solves a lot, I find.

All in all very good advice though Zoot.

[Nicola_Red]

If your partner is picking an argument with you then she will be worried about either being skint or fat, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you or what she is telling you is the matter with you. Skint or fat, they are the only things women really get upset about..

Not necessarily. Plenty of women get PMT and get upset about nothing. There are plenty of women who don't have that problem too - the last thing I would want is to perpetuate that awful stereotype that whenever a woman is upset or angry it must mean she's hormonal - but for at least two days a month, I cry for no good reason at all, no matter how skint or fat I may be.

[snazy20]

Happy Birthday old man

[S4B]

Is this Zoot's cunning way of reminding us it's his birthday soon?

Can I add

Love what you do, life is too short to do a job you hate.
When you're unsure if it's the right thing to do it generally isn't and if in doubt ask Yudster!

[Zoot]

Is this Zoot's cunning way of reminding us it's his birthday soon?

No, it's still ages away, still have plenty of time to remind you all.

[S4B]

Well Cat reminds us for long enough before and after hers so feel free. Oooh I know..............

[catherine]

That's because it's always my birthday soon

[Munki Bhoy]

Loving these. I don't have all that much to add. Except possibly that people who claim that school days are the best days of your life are usually the same fannies who bullied folk when they were there. The top of the food chain people. Everyone I know agrees that having money and indepedence is better than school ever was even with the additional headaches of bills and all. But moreover, they'll tell you that uni days were the best. Old enough to enjoy life, young enough to enjoy life, nowhere near the money of now but you made do, and all those * arseholes from school had gone to McWork.

This may be slightly skewed by the fact I was second bottom of the food chain at school (if I ever meet bottom of the food chain again I'm going to apologize profusely for how I may have occasionally treated them) and most of the folk I know are great friends I made at uni - some of whom I still work with.

Which nicely dovetails with Zoot's comments about friends.

[foot-loose]

Rule number one.

Never poke an angry wild cat with a stick.

[Munki Bhoy]

That's not rule number one. Rule number one is "No poofters". Rule number two is "No kicking shit out of the Abbos (while anyone is looking)" and rule number three is "No poofters".

That's funny if you've seen the Monty Python sketch in question.

[Andy B]

I thought the first rule of fight club was you do not talk about fight club.

[foot-loose]

I'm pretty sure I was right with my rule about angry wild cats.

[S4B]

It does sound like a very good rule Foots.

[foot-loose]

[MK Chris]

Never poke an angry wild cat with a stick.

Whereas it's OK to poke it with, say, your finger?

[foot-loose]

If you want to poke an angry wild cat with your finger, fill yer boots. Just make sure you have a film crew and a dramatic voice man to hand so we can update the rule books.

[Munki Bhoy]

I was close enough.