[Morals]

"Our First Winter" - The diary of a Londoner who's recently moved to the highlands

DEC 20th

It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen
for years. The wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on the porch
watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down clinging to the trees
and covering the ground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.

DEC 24th

We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering as
far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bush
covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first time
ever and loved it. I did both our driveway and the pavement. Later that
day a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with
compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back
and shovelled it away again. The children next door built a snowman with
coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a snowball fight, a couple
just missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back and joined in
their fun.

DEC 26th

It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped to
around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes snapped
due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled the driveway again. Shortly
afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again. Much of the
snow is now a brownish - grey.

JAN 1st

Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice
when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars.
Fell on my arse in the driveway. Went to a physio but nothing was broken.

JAN 5th

Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to work.
She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing. Had
another 8 inches of white shite last night. Both vehicles are covered in
salt and iced up slush. That bastard snowplough came by twice
today............ Where's that bloody shovel.

JAN 9th

More * snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been
damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to
death with candles and a paraffin heater, which tipped over and nearly
torched the house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree
burns on my hands. Lost all my eyebrows and eyelashes. Car hit a *
deer on the way to casualty and car was written off.

JAN 13th

* bastard white shite just keeps on coming down. Have to put on
every article of clothing just to go to the post box. The little c*nts
next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that
carrot so far up the little bastard's arse it'll take a good surgeon hours
to find it. If I ever catch the c*nt that drives the snowplough I'll chew
open his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the bastard
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he
accelerates down the street like Michael * and buries the
* driveway again.


JAN 17th

Sixteen more * inches of * snow and * ice and *
sleet and god knows what other white shite fell last night. I am in court
in 3 months time for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice-pick.
Can' t move my * toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus 20
and more * snow forecast.

JAN 18th

* THIS, I'M MOVING BACK TO LONDON