Off-topic chat. May contain offensive language or images.
User avatar
By Uglybob
#6615
Usually i bin them but this one made me laugh:-

Dear


It is my pleasure to write you after much
consideration since telephone communication can not be
suitable enough to communicate to you at first.
Being the only daughter of my father, late Mr.
Johnson TABOH from Kwatanatal Zulu in Republic of
South Africa ( SA) I am 28 years of age. My father
was limited liability cocoa and Gold merchant in
JOHNESBOUR South Africa before his untimely death.
After his business trip to Abidjan Côte d?Ivoire, to
negotiate on a cocoa and gold business he wanted to
invest in Abidjan- Côte d?Ivoire . a week after he
came back from Abidjan, he was attacked with my mother
by unknown assassin, after five days in private
hospital on that faithful afternoon. I didn?t know
that my father was going to leave me after I had lost
my mother. But before he gave up the ghost, it was as
if the knew he was going to die. He my father, MAY HIS
SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE he disclosed to me and my
younger brother MIKE that he of deposited the sum of
$10,000,000,00 us Dollars (TEN MILLION DOLLARS) in a
security company here in Abidjan- Côte d?Ivoire. That
the money was meant for his cocoa and Gold company he
wanted to establish in Abidjan- Côte d?Ivoire though,
according to my father he deposited the money in trunk
box but declared it as vital family belongings.
He single handed me the key of the box and the deposit
certificate and instructed me and my younger brother
to seed for a reliable and trust worthy business
partner for our life time investment abroad.
Now I have succeeded in locating the security company
here in Abidjan- Côte d?Ivoire and also confirmed the
items with most honest and confidentiality. Now I am
soliciting for your assistance to help me lift this
money out from Abidjan to your safe account abroad so
that we should invest country because this is our
only hope in life.
Awaiting anxiously to hear from you so that we can
discuss the modalities of this transaction. Please
kindly contact me through email immediately for more
discussion.
Thanks for your kind attention.
Yours sincerely
RICHARD TABOH
User avatar
By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#6638
i never read my junk emails but the subjects tend to involve lesbians and people asking me to "*" (I love that!) see them..... :roll: :wink:
By Being_Unreal
#7024
uglybob wrote:Usually i bin them but this one made me laugh:-

Dear


Being the only daughter of my father, late Mr.
Johnson TABOH from Kwatanatal Zulu in Republic of
South Africa ( SA) I am 28 years of age.

Thanks for your kind attention.
Yours sincerely
RICHARD TABOH


is it just me, or did the writer have a sex change operation halfway through the email? or is it just me and i missed the point?
User avatar
By Uglybob
#9153
Sex crazed 'woman' could be a man

Police think a woman who tries to drag men into bushes for sex could be a man in drag.

The tracksuit-wearing 'woman' has begged five men for sex on a footpath in York.

She has a bowl haircut and spots.

Police have been looking for a female but now think they may have been on the wrong track.

The person told one man out walking his dog on the path near Water Lane: "I am desperate for sex, I haven't had it all day."

But one victim, a 29-year-old salesman who asked not to be named, told the Northern Echo : "I told the police this person said they were female and they were 30 and from Hull. But personally I think it was a bloke aged between 14 and 18.

"He gave his name as Jane and told me the pathway was flooded, then started to follow me and made increasingly obscene sexual comments.

"I saw a neighbour of mine so I made a beeline for them and said: 'Just stay away from me, you're a bloke.' But he said he wasn't and pulled his coat open.

"He had a blue sweater on underneath and said: 'I told you I am a girl, I just haven't developed yet.'"

The man walked away and the 'boy' disappeared.
User avatar
By Sidders
#9886
uglybob wrote: He my father, MAY HIS
SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE he disclosed to me and my
younger brother MIKE that he of deposited the sum of
$10,000,000,00 us Dollars (TEN MILLION DOLLARS) in a
security company here in Abidjan- Côte d?Ivoire.


$10,000,000,00 = One thousand million (an american billion), not ten million as this half-wit claims.
User avatar
By Sidders
#9887
You think that one was good, but look at this:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OFFICE OF THE CO-ORDINATOR
CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL
NIGERIAN NATIONAL
PETROLEUM CORPORATION.
TEL: +2348033016850


REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE

l am Dr. Dan Tata, the Co-ordinator of the contract Review Panel of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Sometime Ago , a Contract was awarded to a Conglomerate of Foreign Companies by my Committee on behalf of the NNPC. The Contract was Overinvoiced to the tune of US$32.5Million (Thirty Two Million Five
Hundred Thousand united states Dollars). This was done delibrately by one of my colleagues and l to benefit from this project. This funds are presently lying in the NNPC accounts having observed all laid down protocols.This surplus US$32.5Million is what we ask that you help us receive, by providing an account for lodgement of the funds since it is forbidden for us government workers or people in public office to operate foreign bank accounts under our government policy.

On final conclusion of this project,70% of this surplus shall be for us, while 25% shall be for you and the remaining 5% shall be used to compensate either party should there be any expenses incurred.

You should be informed that all arrangements to make you the beneficiary contractor of the funds shall be perfected from our office and upon our final recommedations, our bankers will transfer the funds directly to your account.

This piece of information should however be kept to yourself alone as we are still very much in government service.

Send me an email or fax immediately to let me know if you would be of
assistance.

Regards,
Dr. Dan Tata.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
User avatar
By @ndy
#10566
hahaha, assholes!
User avatar
By Matt
#11145
zzzz... Let's all forward our junk mail to MW... great idea...
User avatar
By Adam
#11212
and completly piss dave off. not a good plan.

look down below. the irony
User avatar
By Eddie
#11216
He said forward them to Moylesworld not Chris himself!
User avatar
By Adam
#11217
opps, miss read. sorry
User avatar
By Matt
#11239
...and I was being sarcastic (for a change).

Matt
User avatar
By Adam
#11241
i noticed that with the usual amount of full stops.....
User avatar
By Matt
#11406
I do kinda over use the full stops.

Note to self: One full stop is enough.
User avatar
By bob_fleming
#12837
That is funny but some stupid people believe those sort of things !!!


cheers

james

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