Off-topic chat. May contain offensive language or images.
By Sheep
#174354
I found this mildley amusing...
Good for im your bored..

>1. What do you call a chav in a box? Innit.

>2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet? Sorted

>3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it? Safe.

>4. What do you call an Eskimo chav? Innuinnit.

>5. Why are Chavs like slinkies? They have no real use but it's great to >watch one fall down a flight of stairs.

>6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit? The bride.

>7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try >not to hit him? It might be your bike.

>8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut? One's thick and >hairy, the other's a coconut.

>9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night? "Wot you lookin' at?" >

>10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box? Paint three stripes on >it.

>11. Two Chavs in a car without any music....who's driving? The police

>12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's? A liar.

>13. What do you say to a chav with a job? Gissa a Big Mac

>14. What do you say to a chav in a suit? Will the defendant please stand >

>15. What do u call a knife in chaville? Exhibit A

>16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame? A Nova seats 4

>17. What do you call a 27 year old chavette? Granny.

>18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb? One, they'll >screw >anything.

>19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river? A start.

>20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor? None, "That's some >uvver >bleeders job innit."

>21. Why did the chav take a shower? He didn't mean to, he just forgot to > >close the Nova's window in the car wash

>22. Why did the chav cross the road? To start a fight with a random >stranger for no reason whatsoever.

>23. What do you call a chav at college? The cleaner.

>24. A bus full of chavs were driving through Wales. As they were >approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the >pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they >stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one chav asked the >blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? >Would >you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl >leaned >over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

>25. Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Society!
User avatar
By Sidders
#174361
Chavs.... yawn. :roll:
User avatar
By Betti911
#174362
I liked this joke:

One Mean Drunk
A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He's slamming tequila left and right. He grabs one, drinks it, goes over to a window and jumps out.

A guy who was sitting next to him couldn't believe that the guy had just done that. He was more surprised when, ten minutes later, the same guy, unscathed, comes walking back into the bar and sits back down next to him. The astonished guy asks, "How did you do that? I just saw you jump out that window and we're hundreds of feet above the ground!"

The jumper responds by slurring, "Well, I don't get it either. I slam a shot of tequila and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch." He takes a shot, slams it down, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls until right before the ground, slows down, and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the guy walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He drinks it and goes to the window and jumps. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn't slow down at all... SPLAT!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila, and the bartender says to him, "You're really an asshole when you're drunk, Superman."
User avatar
By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#174368
Sidla wrote:Chavs.... yawn. :roll:


seconded. can it be a banned topic now?
By Sheep
#174377
Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog wrote:
Sidla wrote:Chavs.... yawn. :roll:


seconded. can it be a banned topic now?


This did cross my mind, but it was more cuz it was mildly amusing apposed to it being about charvs
User avatar
By DemonHorse
#174411
I'm probably being thicker than the offspring of the village idiot and a TV weathergirl here, but I didn't get the phone box one?

Other than that, it was funny.
User avatar
By Sidders
#174415
DemonHorse wrote:I'm probably being thicker than the offspring of the village idiot and a TV weathergirl here, but I didn't get the phone box one?

Adidas.

Innit.
User avatar
By DemonHorse
#174422
Ahhh, me wuddnt know that brand, not being a chav :P
By Sheep
#174430
Yeah they have to have 3 stripes down the legs, otherwise the world will end :|