chrismoyles.net
- Mon Apr 16, 2001 11:36 am
#241307
No Lizzie today, she was off snowboarding in Scotland, but Chris, Dave, Will and John Culshaw were in. The show started with Chris singing some football song relating to the Liverpool vs Leeds match earlier today. Leeds won 2-1, so Chris was in a good mood and he was slightly drunk since he had a few 'crafty drinks' at lunchtime.
After the obligitary mickey taking of all Liverpool fans, he annouced that today was Friday 13th!. He then played the scary music which he played on the first ever Afternoon show (it's in the sound vault) and talked over it (Beware of ladders) with his echo effect on. Quite funny. Dave says that in China they don't have 13th floors in buildings and John says that 13 is the number of radio shows that Scott Mills does every week, Chris does the punchline: 7 at Radio 1, 6 at Homebase Radio. Good to see the Scott Mills slagging machine is up and running again after all the revelations.
After Moyles plays the Star69 record by Fatboy Slim, he wonders what Norman is doing today and asks him to phone up if he's listening. Then he appeals for any celebrity at all to phone up, we have a show to fill. Dave reads out a list of the usual Z-list celebs including Roy Walker (from Catchphrase), DJ Luck + McNeat (prompting a discussion on who's the best - McNeat or DJ Luck) and Eddie Stobart. Chris also offered for Geri Halliwell to phone up and said that he would cut off Eddie Stobart in favour of Geri, but he would have to ditch her if Roy Walker phoned up.
Chris put loads of people on the air as part of this feature, the first few on the phones were not famous but they said they knew famous people because they worked in a modelling agency. Chris asks why they're not even lying about their celebrity status and plays a record, prompting loads of people to phone up with very bad impressions of celebs. Dave read out a list of people who had phoned: Roy Walker, MC Neat and Vanilla Ice. Then Moyles put some callers on air: Noel from Hear'Say, Jamie Rednap, Jennifer Lopez travelling on the M1, Alan Shearer without a geordie accent, Tom Jones eating ice cream and singing Dililah, Prince Naz talking with Culshaw as Frank Bruno, Steven Hawkings and Robbie Williams with Geri Halliwell. But the best caller has to have been a kid doing a really bad impression of Ali G - all he could say was Big Up Massive, Me Julie and Dave. Very funny.
Moyles decides to play a game of Drop It, Eat It with the free easter eggs that have been handed down to every DJ since Sara C*x this morning. The competition involves throwing a choclate egg around the studio, sometimes shouting the names of minor celebrities. Sometimes they just threw it around without saying anything, sometimes they did an A-Z of popstars while Chris played the theme music from Treasure Hunt. Will asks whether he had it queued up, Chris says no - it just plays whenever I say the name of a TV show. To test this, Will said 'EastEnders' while Chris searches for the EastEnders theme. Whoever dropped it had to eat it, which turned out to be John. He had to eat it in 5 minutes, but managed it in 4 (with the little M+Ms).
Moyles says he has got a text message from his friend Chris who 'Drinks Worthies'. The text message says that everybody stuck in the traffic jam he's in Birminghamtxt msg, amusing a traffic jam. chris phones up chris who drinks worthies. and john + dave fills in. chris spills coffeee on himself. beeping to see if listening. During a Robbie Williams track, Chris plays a tv theme of a show I'm too young to recognise.
Prank Call - Obi Wan phoning up Changing Rooms. Not terribly funny because: 1) I'm not a Star Wars fan, and 2) John has done that impression to death. Please, no more - it's the same joke every time!
Chris mentions that because it is Good Friday, they are on until 6pm instead of 5:45pm. He says that the show is perfectly planned to fit into exactly 1 hour 45 mins, so he hasn't got any material to fill up 15 mins. To fill up time, he turns down the sound for a few seconds a time and says that if he does that enough, it will use up 15 mins. This prompts a barrage of inudendo (and then the Vicar said my trousers style) and incomplete sentances/punchlines (because William Shatnar).
Moyles mentions that his Dad told a joke in the pub last night which lasted 30 seconds - but to fill up some time on the show, Chris has turned it into a 3 1/2 minute sketch. Here it is:
[Who wants to be a millionaire? Music]
John Culshaw as Chris Tarrant: For £1million - What lives in a warren?
John Motson: I'll go 50/50
Chris Tarrant: Cukoo and Rabbit are left.
John Motson: I'll Phone a Friend - David Beckham.
David Beckham: I'm 100% sure it's a rabbit.
John Motson: I'll go for a Rabbit
Chris Tarrant: You've won £1million
[Later that day John Motson phones David Beckham]
John Motson: Hello David, how did you know the answer?
David Beckham: Everybody knows that a cukoo lives in a clock.
Deathly silence. This sketch is bad, infact it's one of the worst things I've heard Chris do. Chris has reached an all time LOW. David Beckham Jokes - this is Alistar McGowan teritory! Very Bad. I sincerly hope there was a hint of irony in this joke. Chris knew it was bad.
During a chat with one of the newsreaders, Chris asked what she did at work when she isn't reading the news - she replies surfing the internet which prompts Chris to say Chunkyboy.com. She says it was on the computer when she got there, Chris says maybe it was Steve Lamaq, Seb Fontaine (who was in the opposite studio) or maybe Scott Mills :)
Moyles annouces that Ulrika Johnson is to appear on Saturdays show. Chris and Dave make loads of jokes about Seb Fontaine who is on after them and how he is like a coiled spring raring to go. Really, he has a hangover and a headache.
There are two things you can rely on Moyles to do when he hasn't got anything else to talk about: looking through the papers and The Not, both of which he did in the last 15 minutes of the show. He looked in the Sun and found a story about David Jason becoming a father with the headline Lovely Snugly, Dave says that the pun is genious but Chris says its a Bank Holiday story. John did his Rodney from Only Fools and Horses impression, which is one his better ones.
The Not: Crap as usual
Jamie Theakston: I have a big one.
Christina Agulera has been arrested for stealing a dog I though they were cool, I always wanted one.
The shopkeeper of a paper shop near the Radio 1 studios says I'm here from 9 till 5.
We asked Sandra Bullock how much of the Scott Mills show she enjoys: none of it.
Average show today, worst thing was the David Beckham joke, best was the celebrity phone-in.
After the obligitary mickey taking of all Liverpool fans, he annouced that today was Friday 13th!. He then played the scary music which he played on the first ever Afternoon show (it's in the sound vault) and talked over it (Beware of ladders) with his echo effect on. Quite funny. Dave says that in China they don't have 13th floors in buildings and John says that 13 is the number of radio shows that Scott Mills does every week, Chris does the punchline: 7 at Radio 1, 6 at Homebase Radio. Good to see the Scott Mills slagging machine is up and running again after all the revelations.
After Moyles plays the Star69 record by Fatboy Slim, he wonders what Norman is doing today and asks him to phone up if he's listening. Then he appeals for any celebrity at all to phone up, we have a show to fill. Dave reads out a list of the usual Z-list celebs including Roy Walker (from Catchphrase), DJ Luck + McNeat (prompting a discussion on who's the best - McNeat or DJ Luck) and Eddie Stobart. Chris also offered for Geri Halliwell to phone up and said that he would cut off Eddie Stobart in favour of Geri, but he would have to ditch her if Roy Walker phoned up.
Chris put loads of people on the air as part of this feature, the first few on the phones were not famous but they said they knew famous people because they worked in a modelling agency. Chris asks why they're not even lying about their celebrity status and plays a record, prompting loads of people to phone up with very bad impressions of celebs. Dave read out a list of people who had phoned: Roy Walker, MC Neat and Vanilla Ice. Then Moyles put some callers on air: Noel from Hear'Say, Jamie Rednap, Jennifer Lopez travelling on the M1, Alan Shearer without a geordie accent, Tom Jones eating ice cream and singing Dililah, Prince Naz talking with Culshaw as Frank Bruno, Steven Hawkings and Robbie Williams with Geri Halliwell. But the best caller has to have been a kid doing a really bad impression of Ali G - all he could say was Big Up Massive, Me Julie and Dave. Very funny.
Moyles decides to play a game of Drop It, Eat It with the free easter eggs that have been handed down to every DJ since Sara C*x this morning. The competition involves throwing a choclate egg around the studio, sometimes shouting the names of minor celebrities. Sometimes they just threw it around without saying anything, sometimes they did an A-Z of popstars while Chris played the theme music from Treasure Hunt. Will asks whether he had it queued up, Chris says no - it just plays whenever I say the name of a TV show. To test this, Will said 'EastEnders' while Chris searches for the EastEnders theme. Whoever dropped it had to eat it, which turned out to be John. He had to eat it in 5 minutes, but managed it in 4 (with the little M+Ms).
Moyles says he has got a text message from his friend Chris who 'Drinks Worthies'. The text message says that everybody stuck in the traffic jam he's in Birminghamtxt msg, amusing a traffic jam. chris phones up chris who drinks worthies. and john + dave fills in. chris spills coffeee on himself. beeping to see if listening. During a Robbie Williams track, Chris plays a tv theme of a show I'm too young to recognise.
Prank Call - Obi Wan phoning up Changing Rooms. Not terribly funny because: 1) I'm not a Star Wars fan, and 2) John has done that impression to death. Please, no more - it's the same joke every time!
Chris mentions that because it is Good Friday, they are on until 6pm instead of 5:45pm. He says that the show is perfectly planned to fit into exactly 1 hour 45 mins, so he hasn't got any material to fill up 15 mins. To fill up time, he turns down the sound for a few seconds a time and says that if he does that enough, it will use up 15 mins. This prompts a barrage of inudendo (and then the Vicar said my trousers style) and incomplete sentances/punchlines (because William Shatnar).
Moyles mentions that his Dad told a joke in the pub last night which lasted 30 seconds - but to fill up some time on the show, Chris has turned it into a 3 1/2 minute sketch. Here it is:
[Who wants to be a millionaire? Music]
John Culshaw as Chris Tarrant: For £1million - What lives in a warren?
John Motson: I'll go 50/50
Chris Tarrant: Cukoo and Rabbit are left.
John Motson: I'll Phone a Friend - David Beckham.
David Beckham: I'm 100% sure it's a rabbit.
John Motson: I'll go for a Rabbit
Chris Tarrant: You've won £1million
[Later that day John Motson phones David Beckham]
John Motson: Hello David, how did you know the answer?
David Beckham: Everybody knows that a cukoo lives in a clock.
Deathly silence. This sketch is bad, infact it's one of the worst things I've heard Chris do. Chris has reached an all time LOW. David Beckham Jokes - this is Alistar McGowan teritory! Very Bad. I sincerly hope there was a hint of irony in this joke. Chris knew it was bad.
During a chat with one of the newsreaders, Chris asked what she did at work when she isn't reading the news - she replies surfing the internet which prompts Chris to say Chunkyboy.com. She says it was on the computer when she got there, Chris says maybe it was Steve Lamaq, Seb Fontaine (who was in the opposite studio) or maybe Scott Mills :)
Moyles annouces that Ulrika Johnson is to appear on Saturdays show. Chris and Dave make loads of jokes about Seb Fontaine who is on after them and how he is like a coiled spring raring to go. Really, he has a hangover and a headache.
There are two things you can rely on Moyles to do when he hasn't got anything else to talk about: looking through the papers and The Not, both of which he did in the last 15 minutes of the show. He looked in the Sun and found a story about David Jason becoming a father with the headline Lovely Snugly, Dave says that the pun is genious but Chris says its a Bank Holiday story. John did his Rodney from Only Fools and Horses impression, which is one his better ones.
The Not: Crap as usual
Jamie Theakston: I have a big one.
Christina Agulera has been arrested for stealing a dog I though they were cool, I always wanted one.
The shopkeeper of a paper shop near the Radio 1 studios says I'm here from 9 till 5.
We asked Sandra Bullock how much of the Scott Mills show she enjoys: none of it.
Average show today, worst thing was the David Beckham joke, best was the celebrity phone-in.
