chrismoyles.net
- Wed Jun 13, 2001 8:19 pm
#241324
Hello,
How the hell are you, no problems or anything? No, actually wait I really don't care so save your problems for your best friend who probably doesn't care either and is probably getting off with your boy friend or girl friend behind your back, .....you sad pathetic loser.... Anyway the other week I told you about my little trip to the Lake District well today I will be telling you some funny stories or maybe story depending on how lazy I am feeling, about what went on there. Well one funny story, I was quite Happily sitting on the toilet having a bit of fun reading a magazine seeing as it was my only chance to be alone, when I heard someone else enter the toilet, to my horror and later delight they sat in the toilet next to me. Well I'll cut the 15 minute tale of shock horror pain and relief short, it was that gippo Alan I have mentioned several times. Yes all I could hear was a series of random explosions and then a series of splashing noises. At this time I had given up what I was trying to do to myself as the person next door was getting quite distracting by now, and now I was trying to contain my laughter and to stop pissing myself though it really wouldn't have mattered seeing as I was sitting on a toilet, well to be fair I was sitting on a thin layer of toilet tissue I had placed there to avoid contact with the seat. Anyway I finally decided to go outside and wait for this person to leave the toilet as by now the smell was stripping the paint off the walls and was burning my skin. Anyway about 15 minutes later Alan emerged from the toilet with a silly grin on his face I wiped it off him with a kick punch in the face, then I told him I had bin in there and he looked very worried, I asked him what the hell he had eaten and how the hell he could make noises like that? To this he replied '' Well, I was squatting on the toilet bowl to avoid sitting on it''. Yes he actually did crouch on the seat and did his business ( and if you don't believe me, this is the boy that ordered a Burger for food scraped out the bread from the inside of the bun ate that and stuffed his burger in the middle so no one would know he didn't like burgers) but now his business was now my business and he read my mind at that point and said ''What are you going to do to me?'' well I thought about this for a second and replied '' Black Mail of course silly..... now give me a tenner or I'll kick you shitless'' and ever since then I have made his crappy little life....a little worse, every day.... well he deserved it and besides I enjoy It.....anyway on with the show.....
First of when I walked in Chris was talking about how he was a bit pissed of with Narinda ( from Big Brother) because she had an argument with Helen and said she hated her and would smack her if she came near her ever again, ( yes at last, some mindless violence ) well when He;en came to say sorry she said to Narinda something about he being sorry about the argument but she gets the feeling that Narinda doesn't like her, to this Narinda said why do you get that feeling because it's not true.... 2 faced ugly queen of bitches. Also Chris and the team were talking about a new program or something about if your bloke can live without football. It's a program to see if some football obsessed men can live without football for a few weeks...no you can't now end your crappy lives, go on top yourself you don't know you might find it fun, go on I dare you. There was a questionnaire in Sun Woman to see if your bloke ( yes it was for women, unless of course you have a boy friend ) is obsessed with footie. Well after few questions Dave answered we found out that he was obsessed with football...
Next link was Chris talking about how he and Dave went to a cafe round the corner but they couldn't sit down as they were waiting for 2 people to leave so they could sit down. Chris noticed that they were record pluggers and that one of them had the new Linkin' park album. Chris was meant to play one of their singles but as they kept him waiting he won't play it... No, no what you wanna do is knee cap them...
Next, the Welsh w*nkers the band The Stereophonics came in for a little sing song and a chat... look if I wanted to hear a of Welsh person sing badly I would put some Speed in a Welsh mans drink. Anyway they came in and Chris was talking them for a while about Top Of The Pops there new single etc. Anyway they talked for a while and one of them asked how Chris's running is going and we found out that he managed 35 minutes today. The also sang a few songs like their new single - Have A Nice Day...
After the news and during the weather Chris was writing the weather down. After Chris had had a go at this he let Dave have a go at trying to read the weather out but seeing as he didn't have the piece of paper that the weather was on he kept on getting it all wrong, Then Chris had a go at reading the weather and he got it spot on... Jobs a good 'un.
next was Chris talking to The Stereophonics again but this time he was telling them how they shouldn't do the Pepsi chart show and instead should come down the pub with him. Also Dave offered to give them his ''Survivor drum, which Dave uses to imitate the drum sounds on Survivor, next song they played was '' I Wouldn't Believe Your Radio '', Chris had the great plan of showing his arse's through the window of the Live Lounge but didn't..... NOOOO never show your arse to a Welsh man mine is still sore since last night, they are friendly though those Welsh I'll give that to them...
Next they were talking to The Stereophonics again, they were talking about their gigs and the gig they are doing at ''Dodington'' and also how once Chris went to a gig and everyone was getting off tot heir music..... Poor Flossy she wants to die leave the poor sheep alone, they also started a competition off about the The Stereophonics to win V.I.P tickets...
Next up was slightly camp strange man B.B Alad he was talking about the 2 people up for nomination, Stuart and Paul. Also Chris was talking about he wants a gay snog between Brian and Bubble and also how Brian is 23 Tomorrow. Also apparently one of B.B Alads friends told him about an on-line dating agency and how they thought that Josh had joined one.
Anyway that was about it for today's show now have to go take some Viagra for 24 hours of pure fun and maybe get those Luke sky Walker Nipple Clamps out... Life is good...
Ben
How the hell are you, no problems or anything? No, actually wait I really don't care so save your problems for your best friend who probably doesn't care either and is probably getting off with your boy friend or girl friend behind your back, .....you sad pathetic loser.... Anyway the other week I told you about my little trip to the Lake District well today I will be telling you some funny stories or maybe story depending on how lazy I am feeling, about what went on there. Well one funny story, I was quite Happily sitting on the toilet having a bit of fun reading a magazine seeing as it was my only chance to be alone, when I heard someone else enter the toilet, to my horror and later delight they sat in the toilet next to me. Well I'll cut the 15 minute tale of shock horror pain and relief short, it was that gippo Alan I have mentioned several times. Yes all I could hear was a series of random explosions and then a series of splashing noises. At this time I had given up what I was trying to do to myself as the person next door was getting quite distracting by now, and now I was trying to contain my laughter and to stop pissing myself though it really wouldn't have mattered seeing as I was sitting on a toilet, well to be fair I was sitting on a thin layer of toilet tissue I had placed there to avoid contact with the seat. Anyway I finally decided to go outside and wait for this person to leave the toilet as by now the smell was stripping the paint off the walls and was burning my skin. Anyway about 15 minutes later Alan emerged from the toilet with a silly grin on his face I wiped it off him with a kick punch in the face, then I told him I had bin in there and he looked very worried, I asked him what the hell he had eaten and how the hell he could make noises like that? To this he replied '' Well, I was squatting on the toilet bowl to avoid sitting on it''. Yes he actually did crouch on the seat and did his business ( and if you don't believe me, this is the boy that ordered a Burger for food scraped out the bread from the inside of the bun ate that and stuffed his burger in the middle so no one would know he didn't like burgers) but now his business was now my business and he read my mind at that point and said ''What are you going to do to me?'' well I thought about this for a second and replied '' Black Mail of course silly..... now give me a tenner or I'll kick you shitless'' and ever since then I have made his crappy little life....a little worse, every day.... well he deserved it and besides I enjoy It.....anyway on with the show.....
First of when I walked in Chris was talking about how he was a bit pissed of with Narinda ( from Big Brother) because she had an argument with Helen and said she hated her and would smack her if she came near her ever again, ( yes at last, some mindless violence ) well when He;en came to say sorry she said to Narinda something about he being sorry about the argument but she gets the feeling that Narinda doesn't like her, to this Narinda said why do you get that feeling because it's not true.... 2 faced ugly queen of bitches. Also Chris and the team were talking about a new program or something about if your bloke can live without football. It's a program to see if some football obsessed men can live without football for a few weeks...no you can't now end your crappy lives, go on top yourself you don't know you might find it fun, go on I dare you. There was a questionnaire in Sun Woman to see if your bloke ( yes it was for women, unless of course you have a boy friend ) is obsessed with footie. Well after few questions Dave answered we found out that he was obsessed with football...
Next link was Chris talking about how he and Dave went to a cafe round the corner but they couldn't sit down as they were waiting for 2 people to leave so they could sit down. Chris noticed that they were record pluggers and that one of them had the new Linkin' park album. Chris was meant to play one of their singles but as they kept him waiting he won't play it... No, no what you wanna do is knee cap them...
Next, the Welsh w*nkers the band The Stereophonics came in for a little sing song and a chat... look if I wanted to hear a of Welsh person sing badly I would put some Speed in a Welsh mans drink. Anyway they came in and Chris was talking them for a while about Top Of The Pops there new single etc. Anyway they talked for a while and one of them asked how Chris's running is going and we found out that he managed 35 minutes today. The also sang a few songs like their new single - Have A Nice Day...
After the news and during the weather Chris was writing the weather down. After Chris had had a go at this he let Dave have a go at trying to read the weather out but seeing as he didn't have the piece of paper that the weather was on he kept on getting it all wrong, Then Chris had a go at reading the weather and he got it spot on... Jobs a good 'un.
next was Chris talking to The Stereophonics again but this time he was telling them how they shouldn't do the Pepsi chart show and instead should come down the pub with him. Also Dave offered to give them his ''Survivor drum, which Dave uses to imitate the drum sounds on Survivor, next song they played was '' I Wouldn't Believe Your Radio '', Chris had the great plan of showing his arse's through the window of the Live Lounge but didn't..... NOOOO never show your arse to a Welsh man mine is still sore since last night, they are friendly though those Welsh I'll give that to them...
Next they were talking to The Stereophonics again, they were talking about their gigs and the gig they are doing at ''Dodington'' and also how once Chris went to a gig and everyone was getting off tot heir music..... Poor Flossy she wants to die leave the poor sheep alone, they also started a competition off about the The Stereophonics to win V.I.P tickets...
Next up was slightly camp strange man B.B Alad he was talking about the 2 people up for nomination, Stuart and Paul. Also Chris was talking about he wants a gay snog between Brian and Bubble and also how Brian is 23 Tomorrow. Also apparently one of B.B Alads friends told him about an on-line dating agency and how they thought that Josh had joined one.
Anyway that was about it for today's show now have to go take some Viagra for 24 hours of pure fun and maybe get those Luke sky Walker Nipple Clamps out... Life is good...
Ben
