The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241329
Okay, well good friday evening. Sorry I didn't do this earlier, but I'm at school and I don't want to do it an hour into it, so I decided to save it all for when I could sit down and do a damn good entertaining review - Ben! Eat your heart out! lol

Okay, a few new aditions to Martin's Moylesworld Reviews v1.02-

-I'm going to review each link out of 5 on how entertaining it was.
-I'm going to talk in English this time rather than make it look like notes.
-I'm trying out a few new methods of reviewing - this week, Martin tries listening to the link and then reviewing rather than write about it as it goes through!

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RADIO 1 TRAILER SPOOF OF SOME R'N'B DJ'S ALBUM (I'm not up on my R'n'B)

-The usual 3pm intro-

Chris starts off by muttering that he is sick of backing the FA and wants thanks. Dave then comes in and mentions that he could get FA for the FA! Chris starts to play the fist song..
It seems to be ever more occuring that we are hearing Chris muttering and sounding generally sick of little things - great start to a Thursday! I suppose there's always Dave who comes into life and is a complete contrast of Chris in this.

2/5

-2 Songs (Eve and Sugababes)-


Chris asks Dave in a quieter voice if they are ready.. to start the show, Dave says yep.

-Chris Moyles Jingle - Lizzie beautiful-

Chris starts off my talking about supporting England, and the whole supporting England lark being harder than he thought, but congratulates England on their 2-0 win with Albania. Meanwhile, back on Earth, during the Albania game, Martin watches some Cricket on Sky Sports.

Dave then goes onto apologise to Humpty about spilling a kebab in his car or something.

Chris then mentions meeting the Bitches from the Daily Star, about meeting them. They chat about how drunk they are, and as usual Chris chats about who he'd like to cop off with.

Chris then goes onto mention the Sweepstake, £2 a go for the person who wins the first goal - Chris gets Seaman!

Chris then mentions reading FHM with Jennifer Lopez. He doesn't get it, about her.. he complains about there being hundreds. He's amazed. He moves onto the FHM Beer Test, which obviously attracts the attention of Chris.

Dave is finally asked to plug something that is happening to do with JLo tomorrow morning for Sara Cox's breakfast show. Chris thinks it's the fat out of her ass.

Overall this link was generally about the review of their evening and what they got upto, which, if you like listening to what the nations favourite DJ gets upto outside hours, is great, but otherwise.. *yawns*

2/5

-1 Song (Ash)-

Chris starts to carry on (eh?) talking about the Beer Test, but is interupted by people talking outside. He asks Will to open the door, and yells SHUT UP to them, and starts moaning.

Chris then suggests acting gay upon Hugh (sp?) and Will suggests going in and slipping his tongue in.. Dave wants to then get back to the Beer story, but Chris has kinda been put off by this fact and can't carry on.. so he..

1/5

-1 trailer-

-1 Song (Destiny's Child)-

Chris talks about this magazine and 'Blown out - Livin feeling' who are featured in it.

Not an entertaining link.. eugh! I don't think I missed anything funny.. I fell asleep.

0/5

-1 Song (Starsailor)

Chris talks about the Lilt man coming round... what ARE they on about?!

1/5

-News-

Chris and Dave moan about the news, in that the news at 3.30 is different to any other time of the day.
Smacking and Patrick Moore's hole feature.

Unentertaining and not the usual funny banter.

-1 radio 1 jingle-

Chris then messes up the next song, it's supposed to be So Solid Crew but he * it up himself. Will complains that he can't have a go at the news and then * something up himself.

Chris then play the record but crashes the vocals. They decide to do the whole bit again.

-1 radio 1 jingle-

-1 begining of a song (So Solid Crew)-

Dave coughs.. they repeat it all over again.

2/5 (for the * up entertainment value)

-2 Songs (So Solid Crew and Embrace)-

Ah ha - and now the time where I listen to Moyles for 15 minutes in the car on the way home!

Chris then goes onto explain his TV situation, about the big TV and the small TV! They try and fit a new fuse - fails.

Chris carries onto explain everyone else he could actually ask to fix his TV.

He then goes onto a Eastenders spoiler - I'm in the same boat as Moyles here. I haven't seen it for donkey's years so when he mentions Anthony and car crashes I don't know what they're on about either.

2/5

Chris talks about The Sun girls who wear different letters saying Go'Owen My Son.. or something, I dunno.. I'm not too interested either, the lower class paper (ooh start the controversy now!)

The conversation then moves onto Chris finding the Big Brother 2 Uncut video and DVD. He goes onto plug this. (and then the BB quote book)

He moves onto his dilema that he needs to play this trailer for Johnny Vaughn's show on BBC 1, but he's bad mouthed Chris in the past... after a bit, he does decide to play it after calling him a lanky piece of.... wee.

2/5

-1 trailer-

-1 Song (MOP)

Chris stops the song as Dave says Johnny would kick Chris' ass. Chris gets annoyed with this and over-reacts, he calls him his Coffee bitch he doesn't want to see his Johnny Vaughn ass kissing face again He then yells at Will to leave as he doesn't know who'd win in a fight.

3/5 (for the fact that not letting Dave speak is funny - it reminds me of Austin Powers 2!_

-3 Songs (MOP, Darude, Adam F [?])-

Chris wants Dave to apologise.

Chris then talks about Will being Scab number 2 - he threatens him with Dance Anthems... and Vicky Marsden. (I quite like Marsden actually)

Chris then goes on about Eastenders continues from where he left off. He's been sent in an email from a listener explaining what has happened and who is who. (This is actually very useful for me, as I'm listening to it, 15 minutes before Friday's episodes)

Hmm... interesting link.

3/5 (Hey! It was educational!)

-1 Song (Faithless - woo yeah!)-

Eastenders update 2 - From the Eastenders publicity office! Ooooh. She's explaining what really has happened. Chris rips the storyline to pieces and thinks it's ridiculous.

Chris explains that Eastenders always have a light and shade storyline like the dying person and the turnip up someone's nose.. quite funny!

3/5

-1 Song (Wyclef)-

So Chris then talks about the Chappers and Moyles fight.

They role the tape of the show this morning and it's badly edited! Chappers is more worried about his chair.

He's gone on and on about it for the past 2 days, but all I've got to say is my actions speak louder than his wo.. words.. is that my chair?!

Chappers goes onto explain that he's going to kick Moyles' ass.

Couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag

Secret weapon - bad breath!

I've just realised that this link is back to my note form but you know what? I don't care :P

3/5

-1 Song (Kylie)-

Chris talks about his chat and flirting with Kylie. About him chickening out with going for a drink with her.

1/5

-News-

(I knew he had to) Chris mentions the farting in a police station - they fined him £70 for breaking wind in front of a Police Officer... jeeeze!

..Chris then moves onto Arlo (sp?) about him being on Five Live.

Hmm...so... yeah.

2/5

*Yells from far* TURN YOUR RADIO UP VERY LOUD FOR THE NEXT RACORD

-2 Songs (Alien Ant Farm, Macy Gray)-

Chris starts by immitating Macy Gray (again)

Big Blubber - Here we go then, my first proper feature to review.. finally.

Lizzie - trained well, sprinting away from Will. Lizzie was then able to do with her bottom exercises. Chris goes onto ask if you have muscles in your ass.
Dave - Dave still has plumbing problems.
Chris - Chris has been getting a lot of compliments about his look (and I agree there).
Will - Did I miss him? I might have been playing Mario.. sorry.

3/5

-1 Song (Liberty)-

Talks about the station Liberty and Toby Anstis... this goes on and on for a bit.

0/5 (dear o dear)

-1 Trailer-

-1 Song (Ian van Dahl)-

-News-

Talks about the girls Pumpkin. Because she can't enter, Chris thinks that they could now enter Will as a giant vegetable. Chris then talks with a West Country accent and Dave thinks it's stereotypical.

I'm sorry, but you have to laugh at the accent ;) I'm just kiddin!

3/5

-2 Songs (Nelly Furtado, JLo)-

Millionaire music plays - Quiz starts. Lizzie is the contestant.

Lizzie says she doesn't know what Dave is on about so they play the quiz with her.. she then tells him that she does know and the link is a disaster.

Will says that he can't remember and the thing starts all over again! It's the sort of yes/no game - Will gets very stuck to begin with. But it's soon revealed that he phoned up Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. This is quite interesting.

Don't you just love the way Dave's comic voice does NOT suit the Millionaire tensious music!

Chris then wants to try the line.

-1 Song (Chemical Brothers.. Africa-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca ehehe)-

After alot of padding they then find the Millionaire number.

Watch out this will be very loud
Oww
What did I just say?!

I found that funny!

So he rings up Millionaire and does a wrong answer - interestng hearing what it's like...

I'll try again
*Plock*
Oww!

I still find that funny!!

They try again - the question is about who wrote The Crucible that I knew right away! Yay me - as Poppy would say. :D

-1 Song (Papa Roach)-

A good emailer wrote in about Tarrent saying good luck even if you get the question wrong. Hehe :)

A Money Update - just general chat about it. They discuss that they'll have enough money to buy Dave's car... or me? Anyone want me? C'mon, please. *Looks at Poppy* Whoops, sorry, taken... :)

-1 Song (Bunton)-

Chris bitches about Damage and Emma Bunton's.. whatever they're at, girlfriend, wife, husband, whatever.

The conversation then moves onto Dave thinking about getting a video... yes...

-1 Song (Stained)-

Thanks and all that crap...

-NEWS-

-END-

Right, I've had it - that show was crap, I'm sorry, but it was! It was a bitch to try and review to be honest, couldn't wait for it to finish. Right, I'm off.

G'night.

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