The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
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1. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Fortune Faded, 2. Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood, 3. Mis-teeq - Style, 4. Evanescence - Bring Me To Life, 5. Lemar - 50/50 3:30 NEWS 6. Sugababes - Hole In The Head, 7. Nickelback - Someday, 8. Pink - Humble Neighbourhoods (album track), 9. Stereophonics - Maybe Tomorrow, 10. Tim Deluxe feat Sam Obernik - It Just Won’t Do, 11. Liberty X - Jumpin, 12. The Wildhearts - Cheers Theme, 13. Muse - Hysteria, 14. Love Inc - You’re A Superstar, 15. R Kelly - Thoia Thoing 4:30 NEWS AND SPORT 16. Missy Elliott - Pass That Dutch, 17. Starsailor - Born Again, 18. Britney Spears feat Madonna - Me Against The Music, 19. Travis - Re-Offender, 20. Holly Valance - State Of Mind 5NEWS 21. Angel City feat Lara McAllen - Love Me Right, 22. Coldplay - Yellow, 23. Mary J Blige feat Eve - Not Today, 24. DJ Sammy - Heaven, 25. Mark Ronson feat Ghostface & Nate Dogg - Ooh Wee, 26. Kylie - Slow, 27. Oasis - She’s Electric (Tedious Link), 28. Ludacris - Stand Up, 29. The Strokes - 12:51

Today’s show began with a weird remix of the Fishheads song made by Message board member Bridgie. Chris was in a bad mood straight away as seconds before he opened the mic in the first link, Aled asked Dave if he had could see his spot. Chris said the show needs a bit more heterosexuality at the moment. He said Aled was wearing an ugly top today. Aled was offended and said it was similar to one of the tops that Cameron wore in the Big Brother house this year. Dave was yet again wearing one of the free FA Barclaycard Premiership t-shirts he was sent.
Chris revealed today that there is only 6 weeks to go until the end of the afternoon show and Chris said he is going to miss his afternoon audience, especially the listeners in America and Canada where Chris will be on late at night/very early in the morning when he moves to breakfast next year. Chris asked everyone to listen to Coxy in the afternoons (no chance) as he said they (Radio 1) need all the listeners they can get.

Dave: ‘1 love, 1 station, 1 family, 1FM’.
Chris: ‘It’s Radio 1 Dave. We haven’t been 1FM for about 10 years but thanks for keeping up’.

Chris said he’s going to breakfast for 3 reasons - to progress in his career, for the challenge and (most importantly) the big pay rise. Chris said that he is considering making his breakfast show available online as part of the BBC’s Listen Again feature. This idea has been well received on the board and Aled said he’d see what he could do. Chris said he will only make it available if he gets more money for it. Aled said he owed it to his public and has only just got a pay rise. Aled said Chris’s ego was getting too big (only now) but Chris said ‘hold on Mr Pot, meet Mrs Kettle’. Waw Ffactor is on again tonight on S4C by the way.
Aled has made a new jingle page for Chris including all of the * ups from John Peel and the Jo Whiley-Scott Mills come in my pants clip (that Chris played again). Chris was in the middle of chatting about the clips when Aled’s phone rang mid-link. As punishment Chris said Aled had to go to Radio 1 Reception, get down on his hands and knees and say ‘I’m a bad boy’. Chris sent Dave with him to make sure he did it - and sure enough he did. Chris said he was such a sucker.

Chris said that when they are on Breakfast he wants everyone in by 5.15 as there will be show meetings every morning at 5.30. Otherwise there will be a fine, which didn’t please Aled. Aled used to work as a waiter at his mum and dad’s cafe (Cafe Morgan) in Aberystwyth so Chris wants him to serve them their breakfast every morning during the show. Aled told of how he used to sit and chat with the old women of Aberystwyth who sat on Cafe Morgan Table 1. Chris managed to put words in his mouth and Aled made the potentially libelous statement that all old people are deranged, before taking it back. Aled revealed that his mum and dad have 3 toilets in their house. Chris said that he found out Pink has 5 toilets in her house when he interviewed her yesterday. Chris played another track from her new album. She’ll be a guest on tomorrow’s show.
Jo Whiley interviewed Britney this morning (well last week actually as Britney’s flown back home to the States ill) and because she was not allowed to talk about Justin, Whiley showed Britney pics of various male celebs who she had to rate out of 10. Britney gave Chris seven although he said he wanted her to give him one (bur dum cha). Britney said Chris was cute. Dave said that her voice sounded all babyish when she said this. Chris said she sounded like Dave’s wife.
Chappers was on the line from his mum and dads house in Manchester. He drove up from London in his Audi this morning for tonight's match, and his staying with his parents tonight. Chris wanted him to go through his parents drawers live on the air - he said ‘this is your chance to find out who your real dad is’. Chappers is going to tonight’s game with his sister as his dad is ill. Chris asked what his sister looks like but Mark said Chris had met her in the pub the other week, when she got off with some 22 year old from Nottingham (she is 27). Chris said ‘I’m sorry I said I’m from Nottingham’. He said he could be Chappers brother-in-law which Mark didn’t even want to think about.
Chris told him that BBC worldwide had sent him a Manchester United Official Skills Series DVD called Play Like Champions. Chris wouldn’t touch it as he said it’d give him fleas but Chappers didn’t want it either as he said he was actually down to do the voice-over for the DVD but he was cancelled at the last minute. John Simm did it instead.
Chris said that there is a new Leeds version of the DVD coming out called Play Like Donkeys. After Chappers came off the line Chris preceded to play a clip of him from his 606 football phone in show on 5 Live. The clip was of some Leeds caller who couldn’t hear Mark properly and also off Mark saying hello to 3 other callers who weren’t there. Dave said the phones were down for about 20 minutes of that show.Aled got confused with pop music of the 80's. Chris said a text came in to say that they didnt know that Musical Youth had such an influence in Missy Elliott. Aled thought this was supposed to be a slagging thus showing his incompetence to know that Musical Youth had a number 1 no less in 1982 with their song Pass The Dutchie. Chris berated him saying that he was taking over the show and called it the Aled show with Chris and Dave as his sidekicks. Aled called Chris nasty and Chris called him a pilliock. Chris said that the only reason he did Taf Idol was that he couldnt get voted off the programme.
Chris opened the phone lines for Football with the question Whos going to win tonight and Why? Tonights matches were

Man Utd VS Rangers
Chelsea VS Lazio

Most of the people who rang said Chelsea were crap and wanted Lazio to win just out of complete jealousy. Some person rang up and did a little rhyme about Mutu and slagged off Rooney. Dave said that they sang the rhyme at Goodison and the Everton fans applauded them afterwards.
Chris talked after the news to Georgina about the final last ever episode of Brookside after 21 years. The first soap to feature a lesbian kiss and a burial under the patio finally bites the dust after the Channel 4 schedulers didnt know where to put it.
The Mystery Afternoon sound returned with the sound of a footballers whistle. Neil from Manchester won the grand prize of £0:25p. Dave said he received texts yesterday saying that they thought Kylie sounded a bit stilted; point being she was on tape. Aled is staying in the BBC building for late working. He is going to do some PSB's and paperwork. Chris doesnt know whether to go to the pub or stay in and watch the football. Last Tuesday night, Chris went out with Vernon Kay. Chris imitated his accent and said that he speed drinks. Chris decided to play an impromptu Hello Im Listening to see if Vernon was about but he was engaged. Chappers answered the phone but he wasnt listening. Dave said hello to the Everton reserve team that messaged to say that they were listening to the show whilst travelling to a reserve match with Middlesborough. Chris reckoned none of them were invited to Wayne Rooneys 18th Birthday party either.

Daves Tedious Link
Janes Addiction Been Caught Stealing - Been Caught Stealing is what Winona Ryder might have said to her lawyers when she phoned them after being arrested for shoplifting - Shoplifting shares the same word ending as the word Weightlifting which is a sport favoured by hefty Russians - Russians are famous for eating cabbage - Cabbage rhymes with Babbage which was the surname of the person who invented the computer - Computers are used by people to surf the internet - Surfing is very dangerous and can result in having your arm being bit off by a shark - Sharks have lots of teeth as has Greg Rusedski - Greg Rusedski is a tennis player as is Tim Henman - Tim Henman is a sportsman with a child and in that respects shares something in common with Ian Botham - Take away the B in Botham and replace it with G and you get Gotham as in Gotham City which is the fictional setting for Batman, a bit like Albert Square which is a fictional place where Ian Beale lives - Ian Beale is a * - * like to eat Jellied Eels - And Eels should be handled very carefully because of the current runs through them eg: if you were to accidentally touch a female electric eel, you might get a bit of a shock and shriek Blimey, Shes Electric - Which links us to Oasis and Shes Electric

Sat and today are up

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