chrismoyles.net
- Wed Jan 07, 2004 8:16 pm
#241832
1. Jamelia - Superstar 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Justin Timberlake - I'm Loving It, 3. Coldplay - God Put A Smile Upon Your Face, 4. MOYLES PARODY/Sophie E-Bextor - I Won’t Change You, 5. BUZZ OFF - No Doubt - Just A Girl, 6. Ultrabeat - Pretty Green Eyes 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Shakedown - At Night, 8. Sugababes - Too Lost In You, 9. Stereophonics - Movie Star, 10. Pink feat William Orbit - Feel Good Time 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. The Strokes - 12:51, 12. The Black Eyed Peas - Shut Up, 13. OPM - Heaven Is A Halfpipe, 14. Beyonce Knowles feat Jay-Z - Crazy In Love 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Room 5 feat Oliver Cheatham - Make Luv, 16. Basement Jaxx feat Lisa Kekaula - Good Luck, 17. R Kelly - Ignition (Remix), 18. Neneh Cherry - Buffalo Stance (Tedious Link), 19. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love, 20. Amy Studt - All I Wanna Do, 21. Outkast - Hey Ya, 22. Boogie Pimps - Somebody To Love, 23. Missy Elliott - Pass That Dutch 9:30 NEWSBEAT 24. DJ Sammy feat Yanou & Do - Heaven, 25. Michael Andrews feat Gary Jules - Mad World, 26. Foo Fighters - All My Life, 27. Victoria Beckham - This Groove
Today’s show began with football chat. Both Chris and Dave watched the Villa - Portsmouth match on Sky last night. It was that dull that Dave gave up on it at half nine and went to bed. Chris thought it was awful aswell but was glad Pompey lost as it means if Leeds win tonight they will go above them. There is fat chance of that though as they are away to Newcastle. Chris predicted a draw but Dave thinks Leeds will get beat as Newcastle have too much quality. He also thinks Everton will win at home to Arsenal tonight which confused Chris slightly after his previous prediction. Chris went to bed at exactly 10.46 but got a text at eleven from his mate, telling him that the elimination quiz on Shattered last night was a total rip off of Viaduct. Chris got Dave (in his new made up title - Director Of Comedy, Chris Moyles Show Radio 1) to try and explain to new listeners what Viaduct was. He failed miserably and Chris tried to help out by giving an example, only to confuse everyone even more by giving the wrong answer to the question. Chris had the audio from last night and said Kermit O’Dreary explained it better - “All you have to do is answer the question I asked you before”. Dave said he could now see where they were going wrong. Chris said that Shattered were free to rob any other Moyles show features on tonight’s show. I’m half expecting Roy Walker to turn up now. A whole selection of texts came in saying Chris and Dave didn’t invent the idea for Viaduct at all, it was the two Ronnies. Chris said he never claimed to have come up the idea in the first place.
Dave - yeah we just made it famous
(Rachel laughs in background)
Dave - What are you laughing at Rachel? We are responsible for the success of this format
Chris - yeah, the two Ronnies were rubbish until we came along
Dave - Their crap compared to us
Rachel - Whatever you say boys
Chris - Did the two Ronnies ever do the Radio 1 Breakfast Show? I don’t think so..
Rachel - No but they had their own TV show
Chris - Hey, we had our own TV show on UK Play!!
Dave - We did three series, 150 shows...
Chris (interrupting) - Without one joke
(Dave laughs)
Rachel (laughing) - I take it all back!!
The show had got off to a good start when Dominic’s mic wasn’t working as he tried to read the 7:00 news. Chris interrupted to sort out the problem and “cranked him up to the max”. Chris wanted some level and Dom happened to mention the fact he interviewed Tom Cruise yesterday afternoon. Chris said yes he is sad for going home and playing FIFA 2004 on the X Box on his own yesterday afternoon, but there’s no need for Dom to rub it in. I still can’t beat AC Milan on Pro Evolution 3 on the PS2 BTW. Amidst the news farce, the first text of the day came in saying “For god sake bring back Sara Cox, Chris Moyles is crap”. Dave said it was a strong start. Chris revealed that his mate rang him earlier at about 10 past 5 this morning as Chunk was driving Chris into work. While on the phone, this unnamed friend of Chris’s got pulled over by the police for talking on his phone, reckless driving and driving without a seat belt on. Not a great start to the day then.
Chris had found out though that according to Celebdaq, he had the second highest amount of column inches in yesterdays newspapers. He was pleased because Britney was number one so he had all his inches behind her. Chris’s price is £2.83. Dave wanted to know if he was still going steady but Chris didn’t know his price. I’m sure Dave will be delighted to know that yes....he is still £1.64. Talking of Britney, Chris particularly liked the ad in todays paper - ‘Britney weds and splits up in a day - The 24 hour Lynx effect’. Buzz Off was back with Chris choosing No Doubt’s 1996 number 38 SMASH called Just A Girl. Dave was first to buzz after 50 secs, Rachel next on 1 min 30, Aled on 2 mins 8 and then the listeners “buzzed it off” after 2 mins 29 seconds. Chris and Dave chatted about the news in today’s Bizarre column that Sam and Mark from Pop Idol are to be Simon Fuller’s latest puppets when they sign a recording deal as a duo. Their debut is apparently due out Feb 9th and Chris said he could see the vile cheesy video in his head already. Chris (like my mum) said he was gutted when Sam got booted off the show and told him to “go it alone” if he wants to be successful. There was a spoof ad for Rabbits on todays show with a fantastic disclaimer at the end - “Rabbits need to be fed and watered on a daily basis and failure to keep their living area clean can result in your whole house stinking of poo”. Chris and Dave discussed the new Radio 1 slogan in all the new trails/packages etc. It’s “Wake Up With Moyles....Go Home With Cox”. Chris said “Calm down Aled..”. Chris had a copy of todays Daily Sport (for research purposes only of course) and there is a story about him on page 11 that he read after 8am newsbeat. It said the Sport’s two heavenly stunning “Moyles angels” Sarah Louise and Rebecca were ready to give Chris “a good eyeful of their ample charms” earlier in the week but Chris snubbed them by leaving via the (non-existent) Radio 1 back door. Chris wanted to know when this was as he had seen no “Angels” outside. Dave did the old “opportunity knockers” line that made it onto todays trail. Chris said yesterday he got a cab home and drove past Dave waiting for The Tube on his way out of work. He didn’t stop to offer him a lift, just waved.
Chris - It was just, I know you like getting the tube and you find them cabs a bit lar-dee-da and posh...
Dave - yeah but having said that if you were to drive straight past me I wouldn’t have rejected a lift home. I would have preferred a lift rather than a wave.
WHEN DOM MET TOM:
A bit disappointing in the end really. Dom waited 2 hours to interview Tom Cruise yesterday afternoon (there was a clip of him waiting that sounded like he was pissed and exactly like one of the Ellen McArthur sketches on Dead Ringers). Dom persuaded Tom to record a jingle for “Dom Met Tom” after 5 minutes and Chris had given it the full production with a dramatic bed underneath. Dom tried and failed to sneak in the movie lines Chris and Dave set him yesterday so instead was fairly blatant. He said Cruise looked a bit scared when he screamed “You can’t handle the truth” at him in a gay Jack Nicholson voice.
WHEN TOM MET ALED:
This was much better. The Moyles show had it’s very own camp showbiz reporter down in Leicester Square ahead of the premiere of Cruise’s new film The Last Samurai last night (also dressed in pink as punishment for slagging Jo Whiley on Monday). However, instead of being lined up next to GMTV and Liquid News, Aled was sandwiched in between a Dutch TV company and a midlands cable channel, not forgetting in a queue behind Trouble TV. He was by the red carpet for 3 hours and before he got a chance to talk to Tom, he came eye to eye with his old-arch enemies The Blazin Squad. Chris told the story again of how Aled was bullied by them at The Welsh Music Awards when they wouldn’t let them sit in his seat (the only person Chris knows to have been bullied by Blazin Squad). Aled asked them for an apology. You could just about hear a muttered one in the reply, after which Chris rightly called them a bunch of morons that show our education system is well and truly screwed. Aled also bumped into Chris’s old gym partner Nell McAndrew who said to say hello from her and good luck with the new show. Then Tom Cruise turned up. Chris then played possibly the BEST piece of audio that you will hear all year. It was of Aled trying to get Tom’s attention while he was doing another interview. He repeated the word “Tom” about 10 times and it was just fantastic. In her first link after 10, Jo Whiley played the audio and compared it to that genius scene from Alan Partridge (which she also played the audio from) where he shouts “DAN!!.....DAN!!......DAN!!...” for about 10 minutes. Anyway, when Aled got Tom’s attention he bent over and asked him to sign his t-shirt:
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
MIKE from Gillingham 2
KELLY a thicko from Kidderminster 0
At the end of the show Chris had news from down the dial on 88-91FM. After Chris called Terry Wogan mop-head yesterday, Wogan has fantastically been calling him Onslow on his Radio 2 show today!! Everyone apart from Chris thought it was funny. After another Moyles retaliation Wogan said Chris should be starved. Not only that, but at the 9:30 R2 switch over today, Ken Bruce joined in with the insults. Dave said he thought it was meant to be “One Love, One BBC”. Chris said however much he admires and respects Wogan as a broadcaster, he is very surprised and indeed pleased that Terry has lowered himself down to Chris’s level of name-calling. I get a feeling there will be more clips from this on tomorrows show.
Daves Tedious Link
Robbie Williams Millennium - A Millennium only happens once every thousand years - Years are made up of months - Months are made up of days - Days Of Thunder was a film starring our good friend Mr Tom Cruise - Cruise liners are traditionally popular with the elderly - Elderly people are entitled to discount on transport - The word transport shares many of the same letters as the word transplant which is a process by which people acquire new organs from elsewhere - If you combine the words elsewhere and saint you get Saint Elsewhere which was an American TV hospital drama set in Boston - the same city interestingly which provided the setting for Cheers - Cheers starred Ted Danson, George Wendt, Rhea Perlman and Kirstie Alley - Ally McCoist is an ex-footballer and in that respect shares something in common with former Leeds United legend Trevor Cherry - And when you think of famous people with the surname Cherry who represent the world of music you think of course of Neneh Cherry - Which links us to Neneh Cherry and Buffalo Stance
Today’s show began with football chat. Both Chris and Dave watched the Villa - Portsmouth match on Sky last night. It was that dull that Dave gave up on it at half nine and went to bed. Chris thought it was awful aswell but was glad Pompey lost as it means if Leeds win tonight they will go above them. There is fat chance of that though as they are away to Newcastle. Chris predicted a draw but Dave thinks Leeds will get beat as Newcastle have too much quality. He also thinks Everton will win at home to Arsenal tonight which confused Chris slightly after his previous prediction. Chris went to bed at exactly 10.46 but got a text at eleven from his mate, telling him that the elimination quiz on Shattered last night was a total rip off of Viaduct. Chris got Dave (in his new made up title - Director Of Comedy, Chris Moyles Show Radio 1) to try and explain to new listeners what Viaduct was. He failed miserably and Chris tried to help out by giving an example, only to confuse everyone even more by giving the wrong answer to the question. Chris had the audio from last night and said Kermit O’Dreary explained it better - “All you have to do is answer the question I asked you before”. Dave said he could now see where they were going wrong. Chris said that Shattered were free to rob any other Moyles show features on tonight’s show. I’m half expecting Roy Walker to turn up now. A whole selection of texts came in saying Chris and Dave didn’t invent the idea for Viaduct at all, it was the two Ronnies. Chris said he never claimed to have come up the idea in the first place.
Dave - yeah we just made it famous
(Rachel laughs in background)
Dave - What are you laughing at Rachel? We are responsible for the success of this format
Chris - yeah, the two Ronnies were rubbish until we came along
Dave - Their crap compared to us
Rachel - Whatever you say boys
Chris - Did the two Ronnies ever do the Radio 1 Breakfast Show? I don’t think so..
Rachel - No but they had their own TV show
Chris - Hey, we had our own TV show on UK Play!!
Dave - We did three series, 150 shows...
Chris (interrupting) - Without one joke
(Dave laughs)
Rachel (laughing) - I take it all back!!
The show had got off to a good start when Dominic’s mic wasn’t working as he tried to read the 7:00 news. Chris interrupted to sort out the problem and “cranked him up to the max”. Chris wanted some level and Dom happened to mention the fact he interviewed Tom Cruise yesterday afternoon. Chris said yes he is sad for going home and playing FIFA 2004 on the X Box on his own yesterday afternoon, but there’s no need for Dom to rub it in. I still can’t beat AC Milan on Pro Evolution 3 on the PS2 BTW. Amidst the news farce, the first text of the day came in saying “For god sake bring back Sara Cox, Chris Moyles is crap”. Dave said it was a strong start. Chris revealed that his mate rang him earlier at about 10 past 5 this morning as Chunk was driving Chris into work. While on the phone, this unnamed friend of Chris’s got pulled over by the police for talking on his phone, reckless driving and driving without a seat belt on. Not a great start to the day then.
Chris had found out though that according to Celebdaq, he had the second highest amount of column inches in yesterdays newspapers. He was pleased because Britney was number one so he had all his inches behind her. Chris’s price is £2.83. Dave wanted to know if he was still going steady but Chris didn’t know his price. I’m sure Dave will be delighted to know that yes....he is still £1.64. Talking of Britney, Chris particularly liked the ad in todays paper - ‘Britney weds and splits up in a day - The 24 hour Lynx effect’. Buzz Off was back with Chris choosing No Doubt’s 1996 number 38 SMASH called Just A Girl. Dave was first to buzz after 50 secs, Rachel next on 1 min 30, Aled on 2 mins 8 and then the listeners “buzzed it off” after 2 mins 29 seconds. Chris and Dave chatted about the news in today’s Bizarre column that Sam and Mark from Pop Idol are to be Simon Fuller’s latest puppets when they sign a recording deal as a duo. Their debut is apparently due out Feb 9th and Chris said he could see the vile cheesy video in his head already. Chris (like my mum) said he was gutted when Sam got booted off the show and told him to “go it alone” if he wants to be successful. There was a spoof ad for Rabbits on todays show with a fantastic disclaimer at the end - “Rabbits need to be fed and watered on a daily basis and failure to keep their living area clean can result in your whole house stinking of poo”. Chris and Dave discussed the new Radio 1 slogan in all the new trails/packages etc. It’s “Wake Up With Moyles....Go Home With Cox”. Chris said “Calm down Aled..”. Chris had a copy of todays Daily Sport (for research purposes only of course) and there is a story about him on page 11 that he read after 8am newsbeat. It said the Sport’s two heavenly stunning “Moyles angels” Sarah Louise and Rebecca were ready to give Chris “a good eyeful of their ample charms” earlier in the week but Chris snubbed them by leaving via the (non-existent) Radio 1 back door. Chris wanted to know when this was as he had seen no “Angels” outside. Dave did the old “opportunity knockers” line that made it onto todays trail. Chris said yesterday he got a cab home and drove past Dave waiting for The Tube on his way out of work. He didn’t stop to offer him a lift, just waved.
Chris - It was just, I know you like getting the tube and you find them cabs a bit lar-dee-da and posh...
Dave - yeah but having said that if you were to drive straight past me I wouldn’t have rejected a lift home. I would have preferred a lift rather than a wave.
WHEN DOM MET TOM:
A bit disappointing in the end really. Dom waited 2 hours to interview Tom Cruise yesterday afternoon (there was a clip of him waiting that sounded like he was pissed and exactly like one of the Ellen McArthur sketches on Dead Ringers). Dom persuaded Tom to record a jingle for “Dom Met Tom” after 5 minutes and Chris had given it the full production with a dramatic bed underneath. Dom tried and failed to sneak in the movie lines Chris and Dave set him yesterday so instead was fairly blatant. He said Cruise looked a bit scared when he screamed “You can’t handle the truth” at him in a gay Jack Nicholson voice.
WHEN TOM MET ALED:
This was much better. The Moyles show had it’s very own camp showbiz reporter down in Leicester Square ahead of the premiere of Cruise’s new film The Last Samurai last night (also dressed in pink as punishment for slagging Jo Whiley on Monday). However, instead of being lined up next to GMTV and Liquid News, Aled was sandwiched in between a Dutch TV company and a midlands cable channel, not forgetting in a queue behind Trouble TV. He was by the red carpet for 3 hours and before he got a chance to talk to Tom, he came eye to eye with his old-arch enemies The Blazin Squad. Chris told the story again of how Aled was bullied by them at The Welsh Music Awards when they wouldn’t let them sit in his seat (the only person Chris knows to have been bullied by Blazin Squad). Aled asked them for an apology. You could just about hear a muttered one in the reply, after which Chris rightly called them a bunch of morons that show our education system is well and truly screwed. Aled also bumped into Chris’s old gym partner Nell McAndrew who said to say hello from her and good luck with the new show. Then Tom Cruise turned up. Chris then played possibly the BEST piece of audio that you will hear all year. It was of Aled trying to get Tom’s attention while he was doing another interview. He repeated the word “Tom” about 10 times and it was just fantastic. In her first link after 10, Jo Whiley played the audio and compared it to that genius scene from Alan Partridge (which she also played the audio from) where he shouts “DAN!!.....DAN!!......DAN!!...” for about 10 minutes. Anyway, when Aled got Tom’s attention he bent over and asked him to sign his t-shirt:
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
MIKE from Gillingham 2
KELLY a thicko from Kidderminster 0
At the end of the show Chris had news from down the dial on 88-91FM. After Chris called Terry Wogan mop-head yesterday, Wogan has fantastically been calling him Onslow on his Radio 2 show today!! Everyone apart from Chris thought it was funny. After another Moyles retaliation Wogan said Chris should be starved. Not only that, but at the 9:30 R2 switch over today, Ken Bruce joined in with the insults. Dave said he thought it was meant to be “One Love, One BBC”. Chris said however much he admires and respects Wogan as a broadcaster, he is very surprised and indeed pleased that Terry has lowered himself down to Chris’s level of name-calling. I get a feeling there will be more clips from this on tomorrows show.
Daves Tedious Link
Robbie Williams Millennium - A Millennium only happens once every thousand years - Years are made up of months - Months are made up of days - Days Of Thunder was a film starring our good friend Mr Tom Cruise - Cruise liners are traditionally popular with the elderly - Elderly people are entitled to discount on transport - The word transport shares many of the same letters as the word transplant which is a process by which people acquire new organs from elsewhere - If you combine the words elsewhere and saint you get Saint Elsewhere which was an American TV hospital drama set in Boston - the same city interestingly which provided the setting for Cheers - Cheers starred Ted Danson, George Wendt, Rhea Perlman and Kirstie Alley - Ally McCoist is an ex-footballer and in that respect shares something in common with former Leeds United legend Trevor Cherry - And when you think of famous people with the surname Cherry who represent the world of music you think of course of Neneh Cherry - Which links us to Neneh Cherry and Buffalo Stance
