chrismoyles.net
- Wed Feb 25, 2004 10:18 pm
#241868
1. Lostprophets - Last Train Home 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Love Inc - You’re A Superstar, 3. 50 Cent - If I Can't, 4. Usher feat Ludacris - Yeah, 5. BUZZ OFF - Shirley Bassey - Big Spender, 6. Travis - Re-Offender 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Destiny’s Child - Bootylicious, 8. Blink 182 - I Miss You, 9. Tomcraft - Loneliness, 10. Outkast - The Way You Move 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Fortune Faded, 12. Jamelia - Thank You, 13. The Avalanches - Since I Left You, 14. Joss Stone - Fell In Love With A Boy 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above, 16. Ja Rule feat Ashanti - Always On Time, 17. Kevin Lyttle - Turn Me On, 18. DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Boom! Shake The Room (Tedious Link), 19. The Strokes - Reptilia, 20. Lemar - Another Day, 21. Kylie Minogue - Red Blooded Woman 9:30 NEWSBEAT 22. Basement Jaxx - Where’s Your Head At, 23. Jennifer Lopez - Baby I Love U! (R. Kelly Remix), 24. Foo Fighters - All My Life
Yesterday was D-Day for Chris - Dentist Day (or at least it was meant to be). Chris showed up for his appointment at midday only to find out that his dentist had the flu and therefore he had to rearrange for the 9th of March. This is bad for two reasons - 1) Chris has two more weeks of tooth torment to put up with and 2) Like yesterday, we have another show full of dentist links to put up with on the 9th of March. Chris had better news though today at 7:15..... ALED’S BACK!!! The welsh one finally returned to the airwaves today after missing four shows due to a viral infection. Aled said this was the longest amount of time he’s ever taken off at Radio 1 due to illness. Chris was unsurprisingly wanting all the gory details, despite the fact it was still quarter past 7 in the morning. Aled ran through the full list of symptoms he picked up - a headache, feeling dizzy, feeling weak, sore throat, inflamed throat, feeling sick, being sick, backache, bloated stomach and diarrhoea. Chris asked him if it was that bad that he dare not fart. It was a good job I wasn’t tucking into my cornflakes at this moment. To celebrate Aled’s return, Chris picked a very old and cheesy Buzz Off with a welsh theme. It was Big Spender by Shirley Bassey to the utter dismay of Comedy Dave (and yes this did come from Chris’s own CD collection). Dave was quick off the mark by buzzing in on 2 seconds, Rachel followed on 1:02, the listeners on 1:26 and Aled buzzed right on the end at 1:46. Chris is finally getting back in to Back To Reality (guh huh) and ran through what has been happening as lets face it - no one has been watching (the only thing worth watching is Tess). So far that bender Uri, Nasty Nick, Lizzy and Catalina have left - with Rik irritating the rest of them with his laziness and smell (apparently he’s not had a shower yet). Also taking place while Chris watched this last night was the fastest hatrick in the history of the English football league. James Hayter came on for Bournemouth against Wrexham in Division 2 on 84 minutes and bagged a 2 minute 20 second hatrick to leave the final score 6-0. Hayter did bang in 3 goals against my team Bury a few years back but granted then he did it in 90 minutes and not just 3. Chris decided that to celebrate Hayter’s achievement, he should play the full 2 minutes 20 seconds of commentary from BBC Radio Solent. He did it just after 8 o’clock and took the piss out of the cheesy John Motson-esque commentator. On Friday the show will of course be coming live from Southampton. Southampton’s favourite son Mr Craaaig Daaavid has now been confirmed as a guest although their second favourite son Mr Scott Mills is playing hard to get (although I’m sure he’ll be there to massage his ego). Hopefully Aled’s truck will be there too (see below) and ready to take in the delights of Southampton and the surrounding areas. The team will be on the lash in Soton tomorrow night and so far invitations include one from the University Union to karaoke at the Stags Head...and bizarrely one to an 80’s night hosted by a 4ft Simon Le Bon lookalike from Saudi Arabia. If you live in that region and have any places you suggest the team visit then go here.
(Aled’s transport this Friday)
Chris - It’s quarter past eight. Tradition is on radio breakfast shows that the peak of the audience is about ten past, quarter past eight. It’s when breakfast shows traditionally save their best piece for. Be it an interview with Tom Cruise or Renée Zellweger, summat like that. Here on this show though we’re slightly different cos today Dave has come up with yet another game....
DOG OR PERSON?:
Yes, it was again time for another one of Daves dog based quizzes that seem to pop up on the show every couple of months. Dave was pleased with his last quiz effort Reverse-a-word, which went down like a fart in a crowded lift when on the show - yet is currently the subject of negotiations regarding a prime-time TV slot (apparently). This latest quiz was claimed to be new but it has been done before on afternoons, or if not something very similar has. Round 1 involved Chris and Dom identifying whether the characters from the world of TV and film that Dave read out were a dog, or whether (yep you’ve guessed it) indeed they were a person. Chris was top dog with 5 and Dom sick puppy with just 4 after Round 1. The tension was high ahead of the Round 2 numbers game as the prize up for grabs was a Dave Pearce Dance Anthems CD. The second round was funny but a complete farce or as Dave preferred to call it “shambollocks”. He called Rachel a stupid cow as she forgot she was keeping score and struggled to keep up with the points system. The idea was to convert a number Dave read out in human years into dog years. The problem was that Dave wasn’t exactly sure when he said one dog year is equivalent to seven human years. There was a big discussion on the matter after 8:30 with Rachel and Jules in hysterics and Dave insisting to Aled and Dom that dogs have their own calendar system. By my calculations Chris won 15-11. In memory of Reverse-a-word, texts came in saying “P..A..R..C” and “H..S..I..B..B..U..R”.
Chris - How do you feel that went Dave?
Dave - You know, I might drop the numbers game
(Dom and Rach in hysterics)
Chris - Really?
Dave (laughing) - Yeah I think it might be overly complex
Chris - Excellent. It’s 8:28 if anybody is actually still listening
(hits Joss Stone vocal)
ANDRANIA, VICTORIA NEWTON ON THE PHONE AND DAVE AT HMV:
With Andrania sweeping the nation and Mysterious Girl heading for number one, Chris is upset that Victoria Newton in The Sun Bizarre column is trying to take the credit by saying it is all down to her campaign. Chris said she is simply jumping on the Moyles show bandwagon and said something had to be done about it. He continually read out The Bizarre Column phone and text numbers, while him and Dave did that thing of saying “please don’t dial, they’re just for us”. Chris mentioned the phrase “Give Chris Moyles the credit he deserves” a lot as well. He said Victoria had to bow down and kiss the feet of the saviour. At five to nine he rang Bizarre but couldn’t leave a message cos the mailbox was full (of messages from listeners). 25 minutes later he got a phone call from the woman herself, Victoria Newton. She had only just woken up after a late night at London’s Met Bar, hanging out with such A-list stars as Ronan Keating and DJ Casper. She heard the news about what Chris had been saying and insisted that he reads out stories from Bizarre without ever crediting them. To be fair he does always credit them although there may be more truth in Victoria’s next claim that Newsbeat nick stuff from The Sun. Chris pointed the finger back at her, claiming she’s taken other stuff (Andre aside) from the show and put it in her column. The Bubbler Ranx thing she has done was done last week by Scott Mills, although she said that “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”. Chris said he’d let her off cos she has loverly knockers but tomorrow he is expecting a mention, something along the lines of “How embarrassed I was about being shamed on national radio yesterday by my great pal Chris Moyles who is great in bed”. Dave only arrived back from HMV on Oxford Street half way through this phone call, as Chris had sent him to buy a copy of Mysterious Girl as punishment for mocking the Andrania campaign. He was live on the phone from the shop at 9:15...
Dave - I’m just behind someone
Chris - I’m sorry to hear that
Dave - In the queue obviously
(Chris laughs)
He was set the task of telling the shop assistant he was from Radio 1 and was trying to get Peter “Back In The Charts and Back In Our Hearts”. The shop assistant was laughing somewhat nervously after being told this information.
Dave - I’m on Radio 1 at the moment. I’m here to buy Peter Andre as part of our campaign. Have you bought a copy yet?
Female shop assistant - No I hate him
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
TOM a Northern Heritage joiner from Gargrave in North Yorkshire 2
VICTORIA a student at Portsmouth Uni 0
**Chris was glad Aled was back, purely for the applause at the start of Carpark Catchphrase. Dave said it has been lacklustre without him.
Chris - I think my dad used to deliver mail there
Dave - Where?
Chris - Lacklustre
Dave - No that’s Tadcaster
Chris (laughing) - Oh that’s right
The fit sounding student wasn’t happy with losing and Chris suggested she goes and sees him in his Southampton hotel tomorrow...
Victoria - Oh come on Chris can I have the crook lock?
Chris - I tell you what, come and see me in my hotel my darlin and I’ll see what I can give you
Victoria - Ahh
Chris - Oh hey I’m only joking. Sorry - that's sexist rubbish. Sorry, that implied there that I’d be after cheap free sex...
(Dave laughs)
Victoria - How would your girlfriend feel about that then?
Chris - Yeah she wouldn’t be very happy at all. Mind you saying that she wouldn’t have to know so give us your number off the air..(Victoria laughs)..No I’m joking. Again a cheap line
Dave - Is that a crook lock my darlin?
(Everyone laughs)**
Daves Tedious Link
Kylie Minogue Confide In Me - Confide in me is what somebody might say when trying to gain your trust - If you remove the first letter of the word “trust” you’re left simply with rust which is something which affects bicycles - Bicycles are a popular form of transport in Holland - Holland is the worlds largest producer of clogs - Clogs are worn on the feet, as are socks - The word “socks” shares many of the same letters as the word “sacks” which are used for the transportation of potatoes - Potatoes need to be peeled, as do oranges - Oranges are a primary ingredient in the manufacture of marmalade - Marmalade can also be made at home by amateur preserve enthusiasts, as can chutney - Chutney is a nice accompaniment to poppadoms, which in turn are complimented by kingfisher - Kingfisher shouldn’t be mistaken for Carrie Fisher who played Princess Leia in Star Wars and had that hair that resembled a pair of bagels or seashells - Shells of a different type are fired from a mortar launcher - and if a stray mortar shell were to accidentally hit your home, it would no doubt create a loud “Boom” and “Shake The Room” - Which links us to DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince and Boom! Shake The Room
AND FINALLY....DAVE GETS HIS OWN SHOW!
After the (limited) success of teaming up with Chappers on Boxing Day, the pair of them have been given their own summer sports show on Radio 1, covering The Olympics and Euro 2004. It will air between 1 and 3pm on Saturdays this June and July, coinciding with a whole host of other changes including moves for Vernon, Colin and Edith, Mills and Coxy - as well as the arrival of JK and Joel.
Daves reaction - “We were asked to do a show on Boxing Day called Chappers and Dave's Football Annual, which we assumed was so called because it would not appear more than once a year, but they've asked us to come back for a summer season. We're both delighted and refute any claims that we're being groomed as a kind of Saint and Greavsie for a new generation.”
Full details - http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/news/entert ... lard.shtml
Schedule - http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/djs/newdaytime_feb04.shtml
Yesterday was D-Day for Chris - Dentist Day (or at least it was meant to be). Chris showed up for his appointment at midday only to find out that his dentist had the flu and therefore he had to rearrange for the 9th of March. This is bad for two reasons - 1) Chris has two more weeks of tooth torment to put up with and 2) Like yesterday, we have another show full of dentist links to put up with on the 9th of March. Chris had better news though today at 7:15..... ALED’S BACK!!! The welsh one finally returned to the airwaves today after missing four shows due to a viral infection. Aled said this was the longest amount of time he’s ever taken off at Radio 1 due to illness. Chris was unsurprisingly wanting all the gory details, despite the fact it was still quarter past 7 in the morning. Aled ran through the full list of symptoms he picked up - a headache, feeling dizzy, feeling weak, sore throat, inflamed throat, feeling sick, being sick, backache, bloated stomach and diarrhoea. Chris asked him if it was that bad that he dare not fart. It was a good job I wasn’t tucking into my cornflakes at this moment. To celebrate Aled’s return, Chris picked a very old and cheesy Buzz Off with a welsh theme. It was Big Spender by Shirley Bassey to the utter dismay of Comedy Dave (and yes this did come from Chris’s own CD collection). Dave was quick off the mark by buzzing in on 2 seconds, Rachel followed on 1:02, the listeners on 1:26 and Aled buzzed right on the end at 1:46. Chris is finally getting back in to Back To Reality (guh huh) and ran through what has been happening as lets face it - no one has been watching (the only thing worth watching is Tess). So far that bender Uri, Nasty Nick, Lizzy and Catalina have left - with Rik irritating the rest of them with his laziness and smell (apparently he’s not had a shower yet). Also taking place while Chris watched this last night was the fastest hatrick in the history of the English football league. James Hayter came on for Bournemouth against Wrexham in Division 2 on 84 minutes and bagged a 2 minute 20 second hatrick to leave the final score 6-0. Hayter did bang in 3 goals against my team Bury a few years back but granted then he did it in 90 minutes and not just 3. Chris decided that to celebrate Hayter’s achievement, he should play the full 2 minutes 20 seconds of commentary from BBC Radio Solent. He did it just after 8 o’clock and took the piss out of the cheesy John Motson-esque commentator. On Friday the show will of course be coming live from Southampton. Southampton’s favourite son Mr Craaaig Daaavid has now been confirmed as a guest although their second favourite son Mr Scott Mills is playing hard to get (although I’m sure he’ll be there to massage his ego). Hopefully Aled’s truck will be there too (see below) and ready to take in the delights of Southampton and the surrounding areas. The team will be on the lash in Soton tomorrow night and so far invitations include one from the University Union to karaoke at the Stags Head...and bizarrely one to an 80’s night hosted by a 4ft Simon Le Bon lookalike from Saudi Arabia. If you live in that region and have any places you suggest the team visit then go here.
(Aled’s transport this Friday)
Chris - It’s quarter past eight. Tradition is on radio breakfast shows that the peak of the audience is about ten past, quarter past eight. It’s when breakfast shows traditionally save their best piece for. Be it an interview with Tom Cruise or Renée Zellweger, summat like that. Here on this show though we’re slightly different cos today Dave has come up with yet another game....
DOG OR PERSON?:
Yes, it was again time for another one of Daves dog based quizzes that seem to pop up on the show every couple of months. Dave was pleased with his last quiz effort Reverse-a-word, which went down like a fart in a crowded lift when on the show - yet is currently the subject of negotiations regarding a prime-time TV slot (apparently). This latest quiz was claimed to be new but it has been done before on afternoons, or if not something very similar has. Round 1 involved Chris and Dom identifying whether the characters from the world of TV and film that Dave read out were a dog, or whether (yep you’ve guessed it) indeed they were a person. Chris was top dog with 5 and Dom sick puppy with just 4 after Round 1. The tension was high ahead of the Round 2 numbers game as the prize up for grabs was a Dave Pearce Dance Anthems CD. The second round was funny but a complete farce or as Dave preferred to call it “shambollocks”. He called Rachel a stupid cow as she forgot she was keeping score and struggled to keep up with the points system. The idea was to convert a number Dave read out in human years into dog years. The problem was that Dave wasn’t exactly sure when he said one dog year is equivalent to seven human years. There was a big discussion on the matter after 8:30 with Rachel and Jules in hysterics and Dave insisting to Aled and Dom that dogs have their own calendar system. By my calculations Chris won 15-11. In memory of Reverse-a-word, texts came in saying “P..A..R..C” and “H..S..I..B..B..U..R”.
Chris - How do you feel that went Dave?
Dave - You know, I might drop the numbers game
(Dom and Rach in hysterics)
Chris - Really?
Dave (laughing) - Yeah I think it might be overly complex
Chris - Excellent. It’s 8:28 if anybody is actually still listening
(hits Joss Stone vocal)
ANDRANIA, VICTORIA NEWTON ON THE PHONE AND DAVE AT HMV:
With Andrania sweeping the nation and Mysterious Girl heading for number one, Chris is upset that Victoria Newton in The Sun Bizarre column is trying to take the credit by saying it is all down to her campaign. Chris said she is simply jumping on the Moyles show bandwagon and said something had to be done about it. He continually read out The Bizarre Column phone and text numbers, while him and Dave did that thing of saying “please don’t dial, they’re just for us”. Chris mentioned the phrase “Give Chris Moyles the credit he deserves” a lot as well. He said Victoria had to bow down and kiss the feet of the saviour. At five to nine he rang Bizarre but couldn’t leave a message cos the mailbox was full (of messages from listeners). 25 minutes later he got a phone call from the woman herself, Victoria Newton. She had only just woken up after a late night at London’s Met Bar, hanging out with such A-list stars as Ronan Keating and DJ Casper. She heard the news about what Chris had been saying and insisted that he reads out stories from Bizarre without ever crediting them. To be fair he does always credit them although there may be more truth in Victoria’s next claim that Newsbeat nick stuff from The Sun. Chris pointed the finger back at her, claiming she’s taken other stuff (Andre aside) from the show and put it in her column. The Bubbler Ranx thing she has done was done last week by Scott Mills, although she said that “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”. Chris said he’d let her off cos she has loverly knockers but tomorrow he is expecting a mention, something along the lines of “How embarrassed I was about being shamed on national radio yesterday by my great pal Chris Moyles who is great in bed”. Dave only arrived back from HMV on Oxford Street half way through this phone call, as Chris had sent him to buy a copy of Mysterious Girl as punishment for mocking the Andrania campaign. He was live on the phone from the shop at 9:15...
Dave - I’m just behind someone
Chris - I’m sorry to hear that
Dave - In the queue obviously
(Chris laughs)
He was set the task of telling the shop assistant he was from Radio 1 and was trying to get Peter “Back In The Charts and Back In Our Hearts”. The shop assistant was laughing somewhat nervously after being told this information.
Dave - I’m on Radio 1 at the moment. I’m here to buy Peter Andre as part of our campaign. Have you bought a copy yet?
Female shop assistant - No I hate him
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
TOM a Northern Heritage joiner from Gargrave in North Yorkshire 2
VICTORIA a student at Portsmouth Uni 0
**Chris was glad Aled was back, purely for the applause at the start of Carpark Catchphrase. Dave said it has been lacklustre without him.
Chris - I think my dad used to deliver mail there
Dave - Where?
Chris - Lacklustre
Dave - No that’s Tadcaster
Chris (laughing) - Oh that’s right
The fit sounding student wasn’t happy with losing and Chris suggested she goes and sees him in his Southampton hotel tomorrow...
Victoria - Oh come on Chris can I have the crook lock?
Chris - I tell you what, come and see me in my hotel my darlin and I’ll see what I can give you
Victoria - Ahh
Chris - Oh hey I’m only joking. Sorry - that's sexist rubbish. Sorry, that implied there that I’d be after cheap free sex...
(Dave laughs)
Victoria - How would your girlfriend feel about that then?
Chris - Yeah she wouldn’t be very happy at all. Mind you saying that she wouldn’t have to know so give us your number off the air..(Victoria laughs)..No I’m joking. Again a cheap line
Dave - Is that a crook lock my darlin?
(Everyone laughs)**
Daves Tedious Link
Kylie Minogue Confide In Me - Confide in me is what somebody might say when trying to gain your trust - If you remove the first letter of the word “trust” you’re left simply with rust which is something which affects bicycles - Bicycles are a popular form of transport in Holland - Holland is the worlds largest producer of clogs - Clogs are worn on the feet, as are socks - The word “socks” shares many of the same letters as the word “sacks” which are used for the transportation of potatoes - Potatoes need to be peeled, as do oranges - Oranges are a primary ingredient in the manufacture of marmalade - Marmalade can also be made at home by amateur preserve enthusiasts, as can chutney - Chutney is a nice accompaniment to poppadoms, which in turn are complimented by kingfisher - Kingfisher shouldn’t be mistaken for Carrie Fisher who played Princess Leia in Star Wars and had that hair that resembled a pair of bagels or seashells - Shells of a different type are fired from a mortar launcher - and if a stray mortar shell were to accidentally hit your home, it would no doubt create a loud “Boom” and “Shake The Room” - Which links us to DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince and Boom! Shake The Room
AND FINALLY....DAVE GETS HIS OWN SHOW!
After the (limited) success of teaming up with Chappers on Boxing Day, the pair of them have been given their own summer sports show on Radio 1, covering The Olympics and Euro 2004. It will air between 1 and 3pm on Saturdays this June and July, coinciding with a whole host of other changes including moves for Vernon, Colin and Edith, Mills and Coxy - as well as the arrival of JK and Joel.
Daves reaction - “We were asked to do a show on Boxing Day called Chappers and Dave's Football Annual, which we assumed was so called because it would not appear more than once a year, but they've asked us to come back for a summer season. We're both delighted and refute any claims that we're being groomed as a kind of Saint and Greavsie for a new generation.”
Full details - http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/news/entert ... lard.shtml
Schedule - http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/djs/newdaytime_feb04.shtml
