chrismoyles.net
- Mon Apr 26, 2004 6:25 pm
#241914
1. Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. U2 - Elevation, 3. Narcotic Thrust - I Like It, 4. Avril Lavigne - Complicated (Live from One Big Weekend in Derry 25/04/04), 5. BUZZ OFF - Guns N’ Roses - Welcome To The Jungle, 6. Pharrell Williams feat Jay-Z - Frontin' 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Angel City feat Lara McAllen - Love Me Right, 8. Keane - Everybody’s Changing, 9. Eamon - F**k It (I Don’t Want You Back), 10. Joss Stone - Fell In Love With A Boy 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Pink - God Is A DJ, 12. D12 - My Band, 13. Ash & Colin Murray - The Boys Are Back In Town (Live from One Big Weekend in Derry 25/04/04), 14. Jamelia - Thank You 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. The Rasmus - In The Shadows, 16. Outkast - Hey Ya, 17. Dido - Life For Rent, 18. Reef - Place Your Hands (Tedious Link), 19. 50 Cent - If I Can’t, 20. Busted - Air Hostess, 21. Faithless - Insomnia (Live from One Big Weekend in Derry 24/04/04) 9:30 NEWSBEAT 22. Franz Ferdinand - Matinée, 23. Destiny’s Child - Independent Women, 24. Britney Spears - Toxic
Today’s show was a superb start to the week and considering the amount of drink the team consumed over the weekend and the lack of sleep they got, it was very surprising. In fact this was without a doubt the best outside broadcast so far this year (the team were still live at BBC Radio Foyle in Derry). Chris said he was knackered but had had a great time and despite feeling shattered, Dave said this weekend was undoubtedly one of the best weekends of his life. He of course turned 30 on Saturday and a big birthday party was arranged at Earth in Derry for him to celebrate on Saturday night. Dave said he knew at least half of the people that showed up on a first name basis, although Chris wasn’t so sure. Faithless were the biggest surprise guests there and Dave said they even used profanities to describe how good the night had been, although they didn’t actually meet him. Chris’s voice was worn out after a weekend on stage shouting and it repeatedly broke throughout today’s show, much to Dave’s amusement. However, texts came in asking if Dave too was having voice trouble as it’s fair to say he sounded like he was on helium during the first link. Aled (like last night on the One Big Rewind show) was sounding all butch and masculine, although he assured Chris he was anything but during his helicopter journey on Saturday. He flew from Belfast to Derry with competition winner Emma and said it was definitely both the scariest and best experience of his life at the same time. He actually sent Chris a text from on board the helicopter, saying he was feeling a little nervous (or words to that effect). Chris texted back to tell him to switch his phone off, as it can interfere with aircraft navigation systems. The highlight of the Saturday for Chris and Dave were the previously mentioned Faithless and Chris played their live version of Insomnia just before the half nine news. Other live OBW tracks played were Complicated by Avril and a very special record by Ash, on which I’ll mention more later. While the team and exec producer Joe Graham have remained over in Derry since Thursday, both Dom and Jules flew back to London after the show on Friday as they had weekend activities to attend to. Dom had a “One Big Christening” yesterday, for his baby boy Finton. When asked by Dave if he’d had a few drinks last night, Dom gave a time check. Juliette on the other hand was lounging around on a beach somewhere in Brighton with friends all weekend, sunbathing all day then drinking all night. Dave said you just can’t beat Al Fresco boozing.
Chris - Did you have a nice weekend ?
Jules - Yeah it was cool
Chris - Went to Brighton?
Jules - I did. Pink nose, red shoulders, all that...
Chris - I’ve never heard of those bars but they sound like great places
(whole team laugh)
The fact Dom and Jules were in London this morning and everyone else was in Derry didn’t seem to matter, as the links with them were as normal, if not even funnier. The live link up every half hour also meant technical problems galore, especially at 7:30 when Chris was a bit miffed that he was giving his cue but no news jingle was coming in from London. To get into detail and use all the jargon (a dream for radio geeks everywhere), Dom explained that he needed fading up beforehand for the jingle to played. There was also a fair bit of echo coming back when the two studios linked up live to chat, as Chris was having to listen back on FM Receive as there was a problem with the feed lines. The line was apparently going from Derry to Manchester to London but hit technical glitches at Manchester, so the show was now bizarrely being diverted back to London via Rugby of all places. Rachel said it was a bit like a train being diverted, slightly ironic cos with the echo on her voice she sounded as if she could have been announcing one. Other technical failures were when the Angel City record refused to play for Chris (until Joe saved the day with his magic fingers) and when Chris went into a bit of a Dave Pearce esque mix when trying to fade out a bed and fade in Thank You by Jamelia just before half 8.
A grumpy and tired Aled took some flak at the top of the show today, and the usually mild mannered Rachel (while acting like some kind of drunk in an American film on the line to Dom in London) even told him she was going to punch his lights out. Dave said Aled’s actions had frankly turned the studio air frosty and he accused him of creating an unsavoury atmosphere. Exec producer Joe shouted out “you’re selfish!!” at him and even threatened to downgrade his flight home to economy (that’s right, in with the normal people). Aled responded by saying they were all being horrible to him and he stormed out of the studio saying “This place is now unbearable!!”. What he’d done wrong you ask, well he’d only gone and bought himself a bacon sandwich while out for milk....and then hadn’t brought back any for the other members of the team!! Aled sounded genuinely peed off at Buzz Off time but still managed to let everyone know it was a baguette with four bacons and ketchup in, ahhh....*(mouth waters Homer Simpson stylee)*.
Chris (replies) - Seriously, it’s gonna be hard for you eating out of a straw isn’t it?
(Rachel and Dave laugh)
There was a huge response for Buzz Off today. 3666 texts came in and 73% said Buzz On so today’s track was played in full. It was Welcome To The Jungle by Guns N’ Roses, which reached number 24 on UK re-release in October 88. Aled peed Chris off even more by buzzing in first on 2:21, Rache was next on 3:26 and Dave third on 4:18.
CHART RECAP WITH WES:>>>>
Buttersby was back on at 7:45 today and according to Chris, sounding as fresh as a daisy. He said he wasn’t and said he was actually knackered after presenting Early Breakfast again this morning (although he got a cab home and didn’t walk). Wes thought Chris was being friendly and warm to him as they had enjoyed a nice big chinwag off the air before the Chart Update, which they don’t normally do. Chris told him not to flatter himself as he was merely doing it for technical reasons - he needed to get level off Wes’s voice. With Wes having the Chart to present back at base, he couldn’t make it over to Derry for any of One Big Weekend.
Chris - Aww, you should come to one
Wes - I’d love to, I was sat there yesterday in tears
Chris (pause) - Were you? Is that a French cafe bar that you visit?
(Wes and Dave laugh)
Wes - No I was sad not to be there
Chris (tries to do a French accent) - Hello and welcome to tears, would you like your usual table Mr Wes? (Wes and Dave laugh) Not that I am French, I sound like some kind of...
Dave - Croatian
(Wes laughs)
Eamon is number one for week number two and Dave says he gets nervous when Wes announces that song as “fer it” and not as the bracketed bit I Don’t You Want You Back. He says it just makes him nervous and tense that an expletive will slip out. As the Radio Times might say, Wes will be back tomorrow from 4 am for “more early morning music and chat” on Early Breakfast.
After 9 o’clock today Aled took a trip into the centre of Derry to North West Tyres and Exhausts (surprise surprise), to present Keiran and co with only the second ever Chris Moyles Approved Workplace plaque. The legend that is Keiran chatted briefly to Chris over the phone and was bigging up North West Tyres to try and win brownie points with his boss Dan The Man.
Keiran - If you’re not in you can’t win but as I keep telling you...there’s no tyre like a north west tyre
(Chris and Dave laugh)
Chris - It’s a catchphrase which is sweeping the nations
Keiran was making reference to plenty of shall we say sexual innuendo, which was making Aled feel increasingly uncomfortable. You got the impression he wanted to get back to the studio as soon as possible but Chris was having none of it.
Chris - Don’t, stay where you are!!
Aled (laughs then sighs) - ...I need a Red Bull
(Chris laughs)
Dom, Dave and co talked briefly about their visit to The Giant Causeway on Friday, before discussing what was happening later today in their lives. Everyone bar Dom and Jules are of course flying home but they both have important appointments to attend to later this afternoon. Jules is going on a Football Workshop course, basically a course teaching her how to be a football reporter with 2 weeks of the season left...a job she has been doing for many years by the way. She said it wasn’t a patronising course for girls, but Chris and Dave did their interpretation of that anyway. Dom has another showbiz interview later...with Anthony Daniels, the actor who plays C-3PO in Star Wars. Dom said he has no idea why he’s interviewing him but said it should be good fun. He added that he thinks Anthony will be in human form and not dressed as a robot, however you can never be sure. Dom tried to remember C-3PO’s famous catchphrase and asked for some help. The rest of the team joined in with “it’s a funny old game”, “nice to see you, to see you nice”, “go ahead punk make my day” and “it’s raining men hallelujah” - all very funny but not really very helpful to Dom.
TIM FROM ASH LIVE IN THE STUDIO AND OTHER OBW STUFF:
(Tim on stage yesterday)
Tim Wheeler dropped in for a brief chat at 8:15, basically to say that he really really enjoyed the gig yesterday. He praised the 10 000 strong crowd, although it’ll be slightly different tonight when Ash play a homecoming gig to just 280 people in Downpatrick. Tim said they’ve not played there in ten years and his old headmaster’s going so the pressure is on. Ash’s new album Meltdown is out on May 17th and their full UK tour kicks off in Leeds on May 25th. Chris got Tim to pick one of their live tracks from yesterday for him to play this morning. He went for the fantastic cover that they did of The Boys Are Back In Town...with Colin Murray. I think Dave put it well though when he said that Colin’s “fairly low in the mix”. Chris and the team reviewed other weekend highlights...
Dominic - The Streets sounded good from what I heard
Chris (pause) - ...it’s coming up to six minutes past eight
(Jules and Dom laugh)
Half an hour later Chris had some fantastic audio taken from backstage yesterday. It was of Chris’s great pal Mike Skinner from The Streets and Chloe from Radio 1. Chloe basically wanted him to record a little drop saying who he was and thanking R1 for the whole weekend. However, each time he attempted it and didn’t word it exactly as she wanted, she made him do it again. In the end Chris played about ten attempts from Mike when he had done what she’d wanted ages ago. It was very funny (Dom was in stitches) and Chris stuck up for Skinner, saying Chloe should have left him alone. Dave said he’d had the patience of an Ox with her. Chris repeated the clips complete with Benny Hill bed. (For more One Big Weekend links see the One Big Rewind review down the page).
MOYLES LIVE FROM WALFORD:>>>>
The show is hitting the road yet again on Friday, but with a slight difference this time. It’s going to be coming live from the BBC Elstree Studios in London - direct from the set of EastEnders. If you’re an EastEnders fan this is obviously great news, but for people like me who hate the show it’ll be painful listening I suspect. The show will come live from The Queen Vic, with numerous cast members popping in for a chinwag throughout the morning. Filming in the Vic will begin at bang on 10am, so it will be very much a case of *cans off and get out of the way* for the team. Chris said this visit is very very exclusive as it’s well known within the beeb that virtually no one is ever granted a visit to the EastEnders set. Chris said that he sneaked into The Queen Vic a few years ago when he was hanging around the TOTP studios at Elstree. He then revealed that he also stole a beermat.
Dave - So not only trespassing, but theft too
(The show will be live from The Queen Vic - this Friday from 0655)
During half time today, Rachel seemed to (as she sometimes does) adopt a bit of a West Country accent. She said she doesn’t know why she does it.
Dave - Every so often you just turn into a bumpkin
Chris said this was highly offensive and called Dave a daft racist, warning him that people could hear him all over the middle east. Dave then made it worse by repeating it and when asked by Chris for his definition of a bumpkin, Dave replied with the following:-
Dave - A bumpkin I believe (laughs) is a backward country person from anywhere in the UK
Dave frantically tried to dig himself out of his hole but only proceeded to do the reverse. He accused Norfolk and Ipswich of being full of bumpkins, as well as the West Country. A torrent of abuse flooded in for Dave on the text and Chris demanded he apologise for his outrageous on air remarks.
Dave - I wasn’t intending to insult anybody and I’d just like to say for the record, that if anybody was offended by my bumpkin remarks then I would like to formally retract these and erm, erm it was an unfortunate incident
NEW JINGLE:>>>>“Good morning Britain, it’s time to rise and shine,
Make a cup of coffee, or pour a glass of wine,
Switch off your alarm clock, your bed feels so warm,
Turn on your radio and pray it’s not Johnny Vaughan,
The Chris Moyles Show, National Radio One”
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
LISA a (bumpkin) hairdresser from Ipswich 2
ALED HAYDN-JONES Chris’s bitch from Aberystwyth 0
**It was a very funny Carpark Catchphrase today as Line 2 wasn’t working so they couldn’t get Matt on to play against Lisa. At first Chris and Dave left silences for pretend conversations (what car are you driving?..(silence)...”nice wheels” etc) but then in the end they made Aled take Matt’s place as Caller 2. Aled unsurprisingly got beat, but his impression of a car horn was genius nevertheless**
Daves Tedious Link
Urban Cookie Collective The Key: The Secret - A secret is something you can share with others, as is a pizza - Pizza can have different types of topping - Topping rhymes with lopping, which is a word used to describe the removal of a trees branches - Branches is a word associated with shops - Shops have windows - Windows were invented by zillionaire computer geek Bill Gates - Bill Gates shares the same surname as Gareth Gates, who recorded a Comic Relief number one with the Kumars - The Kumars live at number 47 - 47 is a prime number, i.e it is not divisible by any other number than itself and 1, unlike a prime suspect which is someone that the police wish to finger - A finger of fudge is just enough to give the kids a treat - If you remove the “r” from treat you get “teat”, which is another word for a nipple - Nipples are commonly found on animals that live on the land, and seldom seen on animals that live in the sea, such as fish - and fish like to live in the attractive surroundings of a “reef”, and can be wide ranging in their size and colour from cod to “plaice” - Which links us to “Reef” and “Place” Your Hands
*SPOT THE OBVIOUS MISTAKE
700 texts came in (19 pages of A4) pointing out the blindingly obvious error in Dave’s Tedious Link. The Kumars of course live at No. 42 (as the title of their show would suggest) and not at number 47, as stated by Dave. Chris made him read out some of the texts coming in ridiculing him. The words idiot, fool, donkey and spanner were all put to good use.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7772">> Please comment on/rate this Show or Review by clicking here <</A>
Today’s show was a superb start to the week and considering the amount of drink the team consumed over the weekend and the lack of sleep they got, it was very surprising. In fact this was without a doubt the best outside broadcast so far this year (the team were still live at BBC Radio Foyle in Derry). Chris said he was knackered but had had a great time and despite feeling shattered, Dave said this weekend was undoubtedly one of the best weekends of his life. He of course turned 30 on Saturday and a big birthday party was arranged at Earth in Derry for him to celebrate on Saturday night. Dave said he knew at least half of the people that showed up on a first name basis, although Chris wasn’t so sure. Faithless were the biggest surprise guests there and Dave said they even used profanities to describe how good the night had been, although they didn’t actually meet him. Chris’s voice was worn out after a weekend on stage shouting and it repeatedly broke throughout today’s show, much to Dave’s amusement. However, texts came in asking if Dave too was having voice trouble as it’s fair to say he sounded like he was on helium during the first link. Aled (like last night on the One Big Rewind show) was sounding all butch and masculine, although he assured Chris he was anything but during his helicopter journey on Saturday. He flew from Belfast to Derry with competition winner Emma and said it was definitely both the scariest and best experience of his life at the same time. He actually sent Chris a text from on board the helicopter, saying he was feeling a little nervous (or words to that effect). Chris texted back to tell him to switch his phone off, as it can interfere with aircraft navigation systems. The highlight of the Saturday for Chris and Dave were the previously mentioned Faithless and Chris played their live version of Insomnia just before the half nine news. Other live OBW tracks played were Complicated by Avril and a very special record by Ash, on which I’ll mention more later. While the team and exec producer Joe Graham have remained over in Derry since Thursday, both Dom and Jules flew back to London after the show on Friday as they had weekend activities to attend to. Dom had a “One Big Christening” yesterday, for his baby boy Finton. When asked by Dave if he’d had a few drinks last night, Dom gave a time check. Juliette on the other hand was lounging around on a beach somewhere in Brighton with friends all weekend, sunbathing all day then drinking all night. Dave said you just can’t beat Al Fresco boozing.
Chris - Did you have a nice weekend ?
Jules - Yeah it was cool
Chris - Went to Brighton?
Jules - I did. Pink nose, red shoulders, all that...
Chris - I’ve never heard of those bars but they sound like great places
(whole team laugh)
The fact Dom and Jules were in London this morning and everyone else was in Derry didn’t seem to matter, as the links with them were as normal, if not even funnier. The live link up every half hour also meant technical problems galore, especially at 7:30 when Chris was a bit miffed that he was giving his cue but no news jingle was coming in from London. To get into detail and use all the jargon (a dream for radio geeks everywhere), Dom explained that he needed fading up beforehand for the jingle to played. There was also a fair bit of echo coming back when the two studios linked up live to chat, as Chris was having to listen back on FM Receive as there was a problem with the feed lines. The line was apparently going from Derry to Manchester to London but hit technical glitches at Manchester, so the show was now bizarrely being diverted back to London via Rugby of all places. Rachel said it was a bit like a train being diverted, slightly ironic cos with the echo on her voice she sounded as if she could have been announcing one. Other technical failures were when the Angel City record refused to play for Chris (until Joe saved the day with his magic fingers) and when Chris went into a bit of a Dave Pearce esque mix when trying to fade out a bed and fade in Thank You by Jamelia just before half 8.
A grumpy and tired Aled took some flak at the top of the show today, and the usually mild mannered Rachel (while acting like some kind of drunk in an American film on the line to Dom in London) even told him she was going to punch his lights out. Dave said Aled’s actions had frankly turned the studio air frosty and he accused him of creating an unsavoury atmosphere. Exec producer Joe shouted out “you’re selfish!!” at him and even threatened to downgrade his flight home to economy (that’s right, in with the normal people). Aled responded by saying they were all being horrible to him and he stormed out of the studio saying “This place is now unbearable!!”. What he’d done wrong you ask, well he’d only gone and bought himself a bacon sandwich while out for milk....and then hadn’t brought back any for the other members of the team!! Aled sounded genuinely peed off at Buzz Off time but still managed to let everyone know it was a baguette with four bacons and ketchup in, ahhh....*(mouth waters Homer Simpson stylee)*.
Chris (replies) - Seriously, it’s gonna be hard for you eating out of a straw isn’t it?
(Rachel and Dave laugh)
There was a huge response for Buzz Off today. 3666 texts came in and 73% said Buzz On so today’s track was played in full. It was Welcome To The Jungle by Guns N’ Roses, which reached number 24 on UK re-release in October 88. Aled peed Chris off even more by buzzing in first on 2:21, Rache was next on 3:26 and Dave third on 4:18.
CHART RECAP WITH WES:>>>>
Buttersby was back on at 7:45 today and according to Chris, sounding as fresh as a daisy. He said he wasn’t and said he was actually knackered after presenting Early Breakfast again this morning (although he got a cab home and didn’t walk). Wes thought Chris was being friendly and warm to him as they had enjoyed a nice big chinwag off the air before the Chart Update, which they don’t normally do. Chris told him not to flatter himself as he was merely doing it for technical reasons - he needed to get level off Wes’s voice. With Wes having the Chart to present back at base, he couldn’t make it over to Derry for any of One Big Weekend.
Chris - Aww, you should come to one
Wes - I’d love to, I was sat there yesterday in tears
Chris (pause) - Were you? Is that a French cafe bar that you visit?
(Wes and Dave laugh)
Wes - No I was sad not to be there
Chris (tries to do a French accent) - Hello and welcome to tears, would you like your usual table Mr Wes? (Wes and Dave laugh) Not that I am French, I sound like some kind of...
Dave - Croatian
(Wes laughs)
Eamon is number one for week number two and Dave says he gets nervous when Wes announces that song as “fer it” and not as the bracketed bit I Don’t You Want You Back. He says it just makes him nervous and tense that an expletive will slip out. As the Radio Times might say, Wes will be back tomorrow from 4 am for “more early morning music and chat” on Early Breakfast.
After 9 o’clock today Aled took a trip into the centre of Derry to North West Tyres and Exhausts (surprise surprise), to present Keiran and co with only the second ever Chris Moyles Approved Workplace plaque. The legend that is Keiran chatted briefly to Chris over the phone and was bigging up North West Tyres to try and win brownie points with his boss Dan The Man.
Keiran - If you’re not in you can’t win but as I keep telling you...there’s no tyre like a north west tyre
(Chris and Dave laugh)
Chris - It’s a catchphrase which is sweeping the nations
Keiran was making reference to plenty of shall we say sexual innuendo, which was making Aled feel increasingly uncomfortable. You got the impression he wanted to get back to the studio as soon as possible but Chris was having none of it.
Chris - Don’t, stay where you are!!
Aled (laughs then sighs) - ...I need a Red Bull
(Chris laughs)
Dom, Dave and co talked briefly about their visit to The Giant Causeway on Friday, before discussing what was happening later today in their lives. Everyone bar Dom and Jules are of course flying home but they both have important appointments to attend to later this afternoon. Jules is going on a Football Workshop course, basically a course teaching her how to be a football reporter with 2 weeks of the season left...a job she has been doing for many years by the way. She said it wasn’t a patronising course for girls, but Chris and Dave did their interpretation of that anyway. Dom has another showbiz interview later...with Anthony Daniels, the actor who plays C-3PO in Star Wars. Dom said he has no idea why he’s interviewing him but said it should be good fun. He added that he thinks Anthony will be in human form and not dressed as a robot, however you can never be sure. Dom tried to remember C-3PO’s famous catchphrase and asked for some help. The rest of the team joined in with “it’s a funny old game”, “nice to see you, to see you nice”, “go ahead punk make my day” and “it’s raining men hallelujah” - all very funny but not really very helpful to Dom.
TIM FROM ASH LIVE IN THE STUDIO AND OTHER OBW STUFF:
(Tim on stage yesterday)
Tim Wheeler dropped in for a brief chat at 8:15, basically to say that he really really enjoyed the gig yesterday. He praised the 10 000 strong crowd, although it’ll be slightly different tonight when Ash play a homecoming gig to just 280 people in Downpatrick. Tim said they’ve not played there in ten years and his old headmaster’s going so the pressure is on. Ash’s new album Meltdown is out on May 17th and their full UK tour kicks off in Leeds on May 25th. Chris got Tim to pick one of their live tracks from yesterday for him to play this morning. He went for the fantastic cover that they did of The Boys Are Back In Town...with Colin Murray. I think Dave put it well though when he said that Colin’s “fairly low in the mix”. Chris and the team reviewed other weekend highlights...
Dominic - The Streets sounded good from what I heard
Chris (pause) - ...it’s coming up to six minutes past eight
(Jules and Dom laugh)
Half an hour later Chris had some fantastic audio taken from backstage yesterday. It was of Chris’s great pal Mike Skinner from The Streets and Chloe from Radio 1. Chloe basically wanted him to record a little drop saying who he was and thanking R1 for the whole weekend. However, each time he attempted it and didn’t word it exactly as she wanted, she made him do it again. In the end Chris played about ten attempts from Mike when he had done what she’d wanted ages ago. It was very funny (Dom was in stitches) and Chris stuck up for Skinner, saying Chloe should have left him alone. Dave said he’d had the patience of an Ox with her. Chris repeated the clips complete with Benny Hill bed. (For more One Big Weekend links see the One Big Rewind review down the page).
MOYLES LIVE FROM WALFORD:>>>>
The show is hitting the road yet again on Friday, but with a slight difference this time. It’s going to be coming live from the BBC Elstree Studios in London - direct from the set of EastEnders. If you’re an EastEnders fan this is obviously great news, but for people like me who hate the show it’ll be painful listening I suspect. The show will come live from The Queen Vic, with numerous cast members popping in for a chinwag throughout the morning. Filming in the Vic will begin at bang on 10am, so it will be very much a case of *cans off and get out of the way* for the team. Chris said this visit is very very exclusive as it’s well known within the beeb that virtually no one is ever granted a visit to the EastEnders set. Chris said that he sneaked into The Queen Vic a few years ago when he was hanging around the TOTP studios at Elstree. He then revealed that he also stole a beermat.
Dave - So not only trespassing, but theft too
(The show will be live from The Queen Vic - this Friday from 0655)
During half time today, Rachel seemed to (as she sometimes does) adopt a bit of a West Country accent. She said she doesn’t know why she does it.
Dave - Every so often you just turn into a bumpkin
Chris said this was highly offensive and called Dave a daft racist, warning him that people could hear him all over the middle east. Dave then made it worse by repeating it and when asked by Chris for his definition of a bumpkin, Dave replied with the following:-
Dave - A bumpkin I believe (laughs) is a backward country person from anywhere in the UK
Dave frantically tried to dig himself out of his hole but only proceeded to do the reverse. He accused Norfolk and Ipswich of being full of bumpkins, as well as the West Country. A torrent of abuse flooded in for Dave on the text and Chris demanded he apologise for his outrageous on air remarks.
Dave - I wasn’t intending to insult anybody and I’d just like to say for the record, that if anybody was offended by my bumpkin remarks then I would like to formally retract these and erm, erm it was an unfortunate incident
NEW JINGLE:>>>>“Good morning Britain, it’s time to rise and shine,
Make a cup of coffee, or pour a glass of wine,
Switch off your alarm clock, your bed feels so warm,
Turn on your radio and pray it’s not Johnny Vaughan,
The Chris Moyles Show, National Radio One”
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
LISA a (bumpkin) hairdresser from Ipswich 2
ALED HAYDN-JONES Chris’s bitch from Aberystwyth 0
**It was a very funny Carpark Catchphrase today as Line 2 wasn’t working so they couldn’t get Matt on to play against Lisa. At first Chris and Dave left silences for pretend conversations (what car are you driving?..(silence)...”nice wheels” etc) but then in the end they made Aled take Matt’s place as Caller 2. Aled unsurprisingly got beat, but his impression of a car horn was genius nevertheless**
Daves Tedious Link
Urban Cookie Collective The Key: The Secret - A secret is something you can share with others, as is a pizza - Pizza can have different types of topping - Topping rhymes with lopping, which is a word used to describe the removal of a trees branches - Branches is a word associated with shops - Shops have windows - Windows were invented by zillionaire computer geek Bill Gates - Bill Gates shares the same surname as Gareth Gates, who recorded a Comic Relief number one with the Kumars - The Kumars live at number 47 - 47 is a prime number, i.e it is not divisible by any other number than itself and 1, unlike a prime suspect which is someone that the police wish to finger - A finger of fudge is just enough to give the kids a treat - If you remove the “r” from treat you get “teat”, which is another word for a nipple - Nipples are commonly found on animals that live on the land, and seldom seen on animals that live in the sea, such as fish - and fish like to live in the attractive surroundings of a “reef”, and can be wide ranging in their size and colour from cod to “plaice” - Which links us to “Reef” and “Place” Your Hands
*SPOT THE OBVIOUS MISTAKE
700 texts came in (19 pages of A4) pointing out the blindingly obvious error in Dave’s Tedious Link. The Kumars of course live at No. 42 (as the title of their show would suggest) and not at number 47, as stated by Dave. Chris made him read out some of the texts coming in ridiculing him. The words idiot, fool, donkey and spanner were all put to good use.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7772">> Please comment on/rate this Show or Review by clicking here <</A>
