chrismoyles.net
- Fri Jun 18, 2004 2:25 pm
#241948
OPENING JINGLE:>>>>
“We’ve played 2 games in Portugal, last night we beat the Swiss,
Wayne Rooney got 2 wonder goals and Gerrard’s one was bliss,
On Monday it’s Croatia, and there we will score more,
and then we’ll win the lot at Euro 2004,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
1. Dario G - Carnival De Paris 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Robbie Williams - Let Me Entertain You, 3. Joss Stone - Super Duper Love, 4. Maroon 5 - This Love, 5. BUZZ OFF - House Of Pain - Jump Around 7:30 NEWSBEAT 6. Beyonce Knowles feat Jay-Z - Crazy In Love, 7. Scissor Sisters - Laura, 8. The 5678's - Woo Hoo, 9. Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way, 10. Christina Milian - Dip It Low 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Fat Les - Vindaloo, 12. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 13. Britney Spears - Everytime, 14. The Farm - Altogether Now (Euro 2004 Mix) 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started, 16. No Doubt - It’s My Life, 17. Fatboy Slim - Right Here Right Now, 18. Keane - Everybody's Changing, 19. Livin' Joy - Dreamer (Tedious Link), 20. Blink 182 - Down, 21. Jay Sean feat Rishi Rich Project - Eyes On You, 22. Snow Patrol - Chocolate 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. Baddiel & Skinner and The Lightning Seeds - 3 Lions, 24. Mario Winans feat Enya & P. Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know, 25. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love
Oh yes, spirits are high today after England’s much needed victory over Switzerland last night. Chris began with Five Live goal commentary from Alan Green and Mike Ingham, which was played over the BBC’s Euro 2004 music from Craig Armstrong, and then mixed seamlessly into the first footy track of the morning from Dario G. The performance wasn’t great yesterday but it’s the result that counted, and Dave said he felt both proud and relieved (in a football sense) this morning. Chris said even his mate Sandy who knows nothing about football text him to say “crap game, great result”. I presume this is Sandy Beech, who’s the guy behind Music4 (the company that make Chris’s jingles and backing beds). On Monday I didn’t believe Chris when he said his jingle singers had been hard at work recording jingles about the France game through the night, I thought they had just had three prepared beforehand - one for a win, one for a draw and one for a defeat. I was definitely wrong though as Moyles was telling the truth. He said the team wrote today's jingles when they arrived back at their villa last night, although he said some were lyriced a bit better than others. Here’s two more new ones, you guess which one he was referring to when he called it “simple yet effective and straight to the point”. Hmm...
MORE JINGLES:>>>>
“We won the game last night and Switzerland won’t thank us,
But we don’t really care cos the country’s full of bankers,
Gerrard scored one and two came from Wayne Rooney,
and now we’ve got some spare time we can mention DJ Spoony,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
“We beat the Swiss 3-0, we beat the Swiss 3-0,
We beat the Swiss 3-0, we beat the Swiss 3-0,
We beat the Swiss 3-0, we beat the Swiss 3-0,
We beat the Swiss 3-0, we beat the Swiss 3-0,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, we beat the Swiss 3-0, National Radio One”
Unsurprisingly everyone was feeling really perky today, even Aled who’s Welsh. The mood back in London Village seemed to be a lot better too. Dom watched the game in the pub with his 10 month old son Finton (who filled a nappy 10 seconds after Rooney scored his first - nice), while Juliette watched the first half in the hairdressers and the second half in a pub. She said her hair was now back like it used to be before, but just a little bit blonder and a little bit shorter. Dom told Chris to ask Jules where she got her hair cut.
Jules - Dom!...(laughs)...erm, Stoke
(pause)
Dom - Stoke!!
Chris - Stoke?
Yep that’s right. Jules had hopped on a train and gone all the way back home to her hairdressers in Stoke, which by the way is the Lounge on King Street, Newcastle. She got her hair cut there at 5:00, went into the nearest pub for the second half and then got back on the 7:00 train down to London. Chris said now that is what you call dedication. Dave said now that is what you call mentalist. Both have a point. Jules said Lou Macari was on her train back actually, although there wasn’t any point in having him as a Guess Who as most of the team wouldn’t know who he was *cough* Aled *cough*. Using the location of Stoke train station and his memories of what it was like when he lived there, Chris tried to work out what pub Jules would have been in last night. She didn’t even know herself so Chris was wasting his time.
Chris - If you’ve just switched over we’re discussing pubs in Stoke on Trent with Juliette
(Jules laughs)
ALIENATING PEOPLE, SLAGGING THE SWISS AND COMEDY DAVE SCHUMACHER:>>>>
It’s the same old story at big tournaments like Euro 2004 when it comes to Chris’s show. No other home nations apart from England qualify cos they’re crap, and they then have the nerve to say that Chris is alienating them by talking about football and England too much. Chris said he was hoping the Scots, the Welsh and the Irish were getting behind England back home (ha ha no chance) as he said he knew he would be if it was them at Euro 2004...
Chris - Aled you’re Welsh, are you pleased that England won last night?
Aled - I’m sure I can speak for all the nations when I say that we’re very happy for you for last night
Chris - For us?
Aled - Yeah
Chris - We’re all together y’see
Aled - Well we’re not, we’re not in here are we?
Chris - Well no but you’re here
Aled - I’m here, I’m on a great holiday
Dave - It’s not a holiday!!!
Aled - Oh sorry, I mean I’m working really hard
Chris said that when you work on national radio and broadcast to four or potentially five different nations (if you count Southern Ireland) then you can’t always keep everybody happy..
Dave - Well the whole world if you’re listening on t’internet
Chris - Yeah but stuff them
Dave - mmm
Chris - I mean we’re not gonna worry about upsetting Americans or the French or owt like that
Dave - Yeah
Chris - Or the Swiss this morning as you’ve proved quite blatantly with your mild racism
Dave (laughing) - no no no
Chris was referring to Dave calling the Swiss “a bunch of clock makers, cuckoo watchers and cheese heads”...that’s borderline racism courtesy of the BBC. Rhys and Rach told Dave to watch himself. Chris said he didn’t really want to alienate any Scottish, Welsh or Irish listeners because he needs the listening figures, and everyone knows that more listeners equals two words - pay rise.
Chris - You see if the listening figures go up, we get paid more money...(quieter)..well Rachel and Aled don’t cos they’re staff but at a freelance level Dave and I can negotiate bigger deals, anyway...
Dave - mmm
Chris told Danny Cowan to open up his mic back in London and talk to him about the whole going-on-about-England situation. Danny said as an Irishman he was with Aled on this...
Chris - OK but do you feel I’ve gone a bit over the top or not?
Danny - No you haven’t done too bad this morning
Chris - Good, thank you very much
Dave - Praise indeed
Chris - So we’ll play one more jingle, a goal montage and then a football record, lovely...
(Dom, Juliette and Danny laugh as Chris plays a jingle)
Chris said that when the team drove back from Coimbra yesterday, they actually passed the stadium in Leiria where France were playing Croatia. He said it was a bit of a blur though with Dave *Michael Schumacher* Vitty controlling the bellas rodas. Chris said he was convinced Dave was doing over 160 clicks at one point last night...
Dave (sounding worried) - No, no we weren’t. We clearly weren’t because that would be breaking the speed limit. I was well within the 120 specified by the Portuguese authorities
Chris joked that Dave didn’t have a licence and said he had been drunk, but seriously added that if Dave carries on driving like that he’ll have points on his licence soon. He said he already had six on it anyway. This morning’s Buzz Off track was also related to the football in a way, as Chris wouldn’t let anyone on the team buzz in. He said it was just him playing one of his favourite records (in full) that would get everybody up and out of bed dancing in a matter of milliseconds...well not me as I’d stuck a tape in, pressed record and gone back to sleep (so quite the opposite). The track Chris chose by the way was the classic Jump Around by House Of Pain, a number 8 UK hit on re-release back in May 93.
FATLIP SLIM AND DAY 6 OF COMEDY DAVE’S EASY PORTUGUESEY:
Chris and Dave met up with Norman Cook to interview him before the England game yesterday, and played out brief highlights on this morning’s show after 8:30. It’s fair to say Norman was sounding a little different to his usual self, as last week he had a bizarre sleep walking accident in his and Zoe’s Portuguese villa, which resulted in him breaking his nose, pushing his teeth up, bruising his face, cutting his chin and making his bottom lip yellow and blow up to Leslie Ash level. His voice was therefore all slobbery and it's too painful for him to shave so he has a bit of a bearded homeless look going on at the moment. Chris said he actually saw Norman again by coincidence after the match had finished, and he’d been cheering so loud that his lip had actually split...lovely. Dave found the whole Sopranos-esque scenario of Zoe finding Norman lying face down in a pool of blood as a source of comedy, which Norman thought was a bit cruel. Dave tried to apologise (but in vain). As regards the actual tournament, Norman thinks we’ll get over that defeat by France and make the semi-finals, where we’ll lose on penalties. You know it’s just gonna happen don’t you. After giving away a signed programme by Noel Gallagher the other day, Chris had got got Norman to sign Chappers football and was giving that away to the best texter this morning. As the texts came flooding in in their thousands, Dave went outside for a kick about with the ball by the atmos mic. Dave isn’t famous for his ball skills (if you pardon the expression) so it came as no surprise that the ball soon fell into the pool, even if by a dodgy rebound off the wall. Thankfully the signature was in permanent ink but after the ball went into the water for a second time, Dave said he was becoming slightly concerned that it might have been fading somewhat. Rach therefore took charge of the situation and took the ball from Dave (not by tackling him or owt). He complained but she said it was a competition prize and she was just trying to be a professional. Someone called Mark eventually won the ball with his text “I deserve it cos I’m a dribbler” (a nice bit of word play there).
Dave had a special dental version of Easy Portuguesey today in tribute to Fatboy Slim. He taught us how to say “I’ve lost a filling”, “This tooth hurts” and “I don’t want it extracted”, which I’m sure will come in handy on a daily basis. Chris repeated the phrase after Dave in Portuguese and admitted that his Portuguese accent sounds more like a generic European, Avid Merrion type voice. Chappers says Chris’s accent is alright compared to Comedy Dave’s, who put on a French accent when asking for a receipt at a toll booth in English last night...
Dave (laughing) - But I think that if you speak English in a slightly continental lilt, it makes you more understandable
Chappers - English in French isn’t always a winner in Portugal though
(Chris and Dave laugh)
CHAPPERS, COMPETITION WINNERS AND MID NEWS GUITAR SOLOS:>>>>
Chappers joined the team after 9 o’clock, although yet again he was wearing the same shirt as he has done for the last couple of days. Mark said he’d change later but had just stuck that particular shirt on as it was the first thing to hand this morning...
Chris - Really?..(laughter)...that’s bizarre cos the first thing into my hand..
(all laugh)
Dave (interrupting) - ...was your toothbrush!!
Chris - That’s right!!! (all laugh again)
Because kick off was at 5 o’clock yesterday, Chappers was doing live reports from the match back into Scott Mills’ drivetime show. However he didn’t warn any of the screaming England fans around him about this, so was taking one hell of a risk. Chris said Mark got so lucky as about one second after he’d given his out and was back off the air, some bloke screamed “Come on Scholesy you f*cking w*nker!!!”. Timing is everything. Before the game Moyles himself had got a lucky scare as Chappers handed him the phone to talk to Scott, not warning him that he was on the air. Thankfully though foul mouthed Chris didn’t utter any expletives down the line at him. Mark explained to Chris how the group stands now after France drew 2-2 with the Croats last night. Basically England need just a draw against Croatia on Monday to qualify for the quarter finals. The team also discussed Michael Owen’s current form. I disagree with Chappers who wants Darius Vassell in the team in his place, that’s just ridiculous. Vassell is a great weapon for us when coming off the bench for 25 minutes, but Owen is a world class striker and you have to play your world class players (current form aside) in these big competitions. Dave thought the tannoy announcer was hilarious for the substitutions yesterday, he kept saying (for example) “Substitution for England - No.10 Michael Owen entering No.23 Darius Vassell” (guh huh). Chris chatted to the competition winners about yesterday’s game. Derek from Sunderland said that he didn’t see Posh near them in the crowd yesterday (she was a few rows behind them apparently) but he did say that he saw the leg end (yep the gap is there on purpose) that is Carlton Palmer in front of them in a pink shirt. Somehow Dave failed to notice Carlton, despite his shirt colour and the conversations the rest of the team were having about him. Derek took a pic of Carlton without getting in shot, exactly what he did when he saw Des Lynam on their plane out there to Portugal. Chris by the way has got his Des jingle amended, it now goes “and he’s finally met Des Lynam”.
Dom was in the middle of some serious news story at 9:30 when that plinky plinky guitar intro and the start of one of Chris’s new jingles came in. Moyles said he was really really sorry and said it was an accident, he was just listening to it off the air but didn’t realise the fader was up. To be fair to Chris he did a marvellous cover up job, claiming it was someone in the villa playing a guitar, and then annoying Dominic by playing it seven more times during his news and One Road Travel bulletin. It made for great radio as with each interruption Dom was obviously becoming more and more frustrated. One Road Travel was good news again today btw. Dave said surely good news in the travel world is actually no news, but Dom said he was just pushing back the boundaries of travel news information. Other stuff today included Chris and Dave complaining about those stupid foreign waiters who take away your unfinished existing beer when they deliver you your new one - and Chris also gave his opinions on Britney’s new single Everytime, which looks like it's heading for top spot in the chart with Wes this Sunday. While I agree with Chris that the song is distinctly average, I do not agree with him when he says he’d go for Christina over Britney (now there’s a thought). Aled wouldn’t say it but I will - Aguilera is a yankee slut. I’d go for Britney but give me Kirsten Dunst instead any day of the week. While Rach was rushing around working on stuff in the villa last night, Chris settled down to watch Big Brother with Aled. I know that just a few weeks back I was completely slagging off the show on this page, but I can’t deny that I’m watching it more and more now, and last night’s show was well...genius. It was some of the best TV I've seen all year (ratings are up 4 million from the other week as well). Personally I think Nadia, Michelle, Emma and Marco are a bunch of [insert own expletive]. I think Jason and Victor are quality and Ahmed aside, I quite like the rest of them. Chris didn’t have much time to talk about BB but played out selective audio from the huge punch up and a clip of Michelle and Emma (the two thickest girls in the world) asking each other what “getting your comeuppance” means. I tell you what it means - you two bitches out in the next 2 evictions..*cough*, rant over.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
MICHELLE a healthcare assistant from Leicester 2
ANDREW who drives a digger in Hertfordshire 0
Daves Tedious Link
Robbie Williams Strong - Robbie Williams lives in LA and likes dogs, which are two things that he shares in common with Ozzy Osbourne - Ozzy Osbourne has a daughter called Kelly - Kelly rhymes with wellie, which is something you would wear on a foot - A foot is also a unit of measurement, commonly used for the calculation of human height - Height and weight often go together, which is interesting because they also share all but one of their letters in common - The word “common” can also be used to describe a small patch of grassy park land - Park land shouldn’t be mistaken for Parklife, which was a single for Blur - Blur rhymes with buerre, which is the French word for butter - Butter is regarded as being a dairy product, as is milk - Milk comes from cows - Cows were promised to the Swiss team if they beat England last night, which they obviously won’t be getting cos they didn’t, and all that crazy Swiss talk of a cow a man win bonus meant that they must have been living in a dreamland - and somebody who lives in a dreamland and dreams a lot about stuff would be referred to as being a “dreamer” - Which links us to Livin' Joy and Dreamer
WEEK HIGHLIGHTS:
SHOW OF THE WEEK: Monday/ Wednesday
MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: France jingles, Easy Portuguesey and the one and the only Mr Noel Gallagher on the show (Monday), Chihuahua chat, Aled goes shopping, Aled’s football chants and post news and sport chat @ 9:30 (Tuesday), Big Villa, Aled’s Holiday Report, Half time and Easy Portuguesey (Wednesday), Aled @ the Switzerland team hotel and Stubbsy and Lawro on the show (Thursday), plus Switzerland jingles, Comedy Dave Schumacher and mid news guitar solos (all today). Also, don’t forget you can Listen Again to all the weeks shows by following the links to Listen Again via Chris’s Radio 1 mini-site.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7988">> Moyles Live In Portugal - Friday June 18th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
“We’ve played 2 games in Portugal, last night we beat the Swiss,
Wayne Rooney got 2 wonder goals and Gerrard’s one was bliss,
On Monday it’s Croatia, and there we will score more,
and then we’ll win the lot at Euro 2004,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
1. Dario G - Carnival De Paris 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Robbie Williams - Let Me Entertain You, 3. Joss Stone - Super Duper Love, 4. Maroon 5 - This Love, 5. BUZZ OFF - House Of Pain - Jump Around 7:30 NEWSBEAT 6. Beyonce Knowles feat Jay-Z - Crazy In Love, 7. Scissor Sisters - Laura, 8. The 5678's - Woo Hoo, 9. Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way, 10. Christina Milian - Dip It Low 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Fat Les - Vindaloo, 12. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 13. Britney Spears - Everytime, 14. The Farm - Altogether Now (Euro 2004 Mix) 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started, 16. No Doubt - It’s My Life, 17. Fatboy Slim - Right Here Right Now, 18. Keane - Everybody's Changing, 19. Livin' Joy - Dreamer (Tedious Link), 20. Blink 182 - Down, 21. Jay Sean feat Rishi Rich Project - Eyes On You, 22. Snow Patrol - Chocolate 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. Baddiel & Skinner and The Lightning Seeds - 3 Lions, 24. Mario Winans feat Enya & P. Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know, 25. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love
Oh yes, spirits are high today after England’s much needed victory over Switzerland last night. Chris began with Five Live goal commentary from Alan Green and Mike Ingham, which was played over the BBC’s Euro 2004 music from Craig Armstrong, and then mixed seamlessly into the first footy track of the morning from Dario G. The performance wasn’t great yesterday but it’s the result that counted, and Dave said he felt both proud and relieved (in a football sense) this morning. Chris said even his mate Sandy who knows nothing about football text him to say “crap game, great result”. I presume this is Sandy Beech, who’s the guy behind Music4 (the company that make Chris’s jingles and backing beds). On Monday I didn’t believe Chris when he said his jingle singers had been hard at work recording jingles about the France game through the night, I thought they had just had three prepared beforehand - one for a win, one for a draw and one for a defeat. I was definitely wrong though as Moyles was telling the truth. He said the team wrote today's jingles when they arrived back at their villa last night, although he said some were lyriced a bit better than others. Here’s two more new ones, you guess which one he was referring to when he called it “simple yet effective and straight to the point”. Hmm...
MORE JINGLES:>>>>
“We won the game last night and Switzerland won’t thank us,
But we don’t really care cos the country’s full of bankers,
Gerrard scored one and two came from Wayne Rooney,
and now we’ve got some spare time we can mention DJ Spoony,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
“We beat the Swiss 3-0, we beat the Swiss 3-0,
We beat the Swiss 3-0, we beat the Swiss 3-0,
We beat the Swiss 3-0, we beat the Swiss 3-0,
We beat the Swiss 3-0, we beat the Swiss 3-0,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, we beat the Swiss 3-0, National Radio One”
Unsurprisingly everyone was feeling really perky today, even Aled who’s Welsh. The mood back in London Village seemed to be a lot better too. Dom watched the game in the pub with his 10 month old son Finton (who filled a nappy 10 seconds after Rooney scored his first - nice), while Juliette watched the first half in the hairdressers and the second half in a pub. She said her hair was now back like it used to be before, but just a little bit blonder and a little bit shorter. Dom told Chris to ask Jules where she got her hair cut.
Jules - Dom!...(laughs)...erm, Stoke
(pause)
Dom - Stoke!!
Chris - Stoke?
Yep that’s right. Jules had hopped on a train and gone all the way back home to her hairdressers in Stoke, which by the way is the Lounge on King Street, Newcastle. She got her hair cut there at 5:00, went into the nearest pub for the second half and then got back on the 7:00 train down to London. Chris said now that is what you call dedication. Dave said now that is what you call mentalist. Both have a point. Jules said Lou Macari was on her train back actually, although there wasn’t any point in having him as a Guess Who as most of the team wouldn’t know who he was *cough* Aled *cough*. Using the location of Stoke train station and his memories of what it was like when he lived there, Chris tried to work out what pub Jules would have been in last night. She didn’t even know herself so Chris was wasting his time.
Chris - If you’ve just switched over we’re discussing pubs in Stoke on Trent with Juliette
(Jules laughs)
ALIENATING PEOPLE, SLAGGING THE SWISS AND COMEDY DAVE SCHUMACHER:>>>>
It’s the same old story at big tournaments like Euro 2004 when it comes to Chris’s show. No other home nations apart from England qualify cos they’re crap, and they then have the nerve to say that Chris is alienating them by talking about football and England too much. Chris said he was hoping the Scots, the Welsh and the Irish were getting behind England back home (ha ha no chance) as he said he knew he would be if it was them at Euro 2004...
Chris - Aled you’re Welsh, are you pleased that England won last night?
Aled - I’m sure I can speak for all the nations when I say that we’re very happy for you for last night
Chris - For us?
Aled - Yeah
Chris - We’re all together y’see
Aled - Well we’re not, we’re not in here are we?
Chris - Well no but you’re here
Aled - I’m here, I’m on a great holiday
Dave - It’s not a holiday!!!
Aled - Oh sorry, I mean I’m working really hard
Chris said that when you work on national radio and broadcast to four or potentially five different nations (if you count Southern Ireland) then you can’t always keep everybody happy..
Dave - Well the whole world if you’re listening on t’internet
Chris - Yeah but stuff them
Dave - mmm
Chris - I mean we’re not gonna worry about upsetting Americans or the French or owt like that
Dave - Yeah
Chris - Or the Swiss this morning as you’ve proved quite blatantly with your mild racism
Dave (laughing) - no no no
Chris was referring to Dave calling the Swiss “a bunch of clock makers, cuckoo watchers and cheese heads”...that’s borderline racism courtesy of the BBC. Rhys and Rach told Dave to watch himself. Chris said he didn’t really want to alienate any Scottish, Welsh or Irish listeners because he needs the listening figures, and everyone knows that more listeners equals two words - pay rise.
Chris - You see if the listening figures go up, we get paid more money...(quieter)..well Rachel and Aled don’t cos they’re staff but at a freelance level Dave and I can negotiate bigger deals, anyway...
Dave - mmm
Chris told Danny Cowan to open up his mic back in London and talk to him about the whole going-on-about-England situation. Danny said as an Irishman he was with Aled on this...
Chris - OK but do you feel I’ve gone a bit over the top or not?
Danny - No you haven’t done too bad this morning
Chris - Good, thank you very much
Dave - Praise indeed
Chris - So we’ll play one more jingle, a goal montage and then a football record, lovely...
(Dom, Juliette and Danny laugh as Chris plays a jingle)
Chris said that when the team drove back from Coimbra yesterday, they actually passed the stadium in Leiria where France were playing Croatia. He said it was a bit of a blur though with Dave *Michael Schumacher* Vitty controlling the bellas rodas. Chris said he was convinced Dave was doing over 160 clicks at one point last night...
Dave (sounding worried) - No, no we weren’t. We clearly weren’t because that would be breaking the speed limit. I was well within the 120 specified by the Portuguese authorities
Chris joked that Dave didn’t have a licence and said he had been drunk, but seriously added that if Dave carries on driving like that he’ll have points on his licence soon. He said he already had six on it anyway. This morning’s Buzz Off track was also related to the football in a way, as Chris wouldn’t let anyone on the team buzz in. He said it was just him playing one of his favourite records (in full) that would get everybody up and out of bed dancing in a matter of milliseconds...well not me as I’d stuck a tape in, pressed record and gone back to sleep (so quite the opposite). The track Chris chose by the way was the classic Jump Around by House Of Pain, a number 8 UK hit on re-release back in May 93.
FATLIP SLIM AND DAY 6 OF COMEDY DAVE’S EASY PORTUGUESEY:
Chris and Dave met up with Norman Cook to interview him before the England game yesterday, and played out brief highlights on this morning’s show after 8:30. It’s fair to say Norman was sounding a little different to his usual self, as last week he had a bizarre sleep walking accident in his and Zoe’s Portuguese villa, which resulted in him breaking his nose, pushing his teeth up, bruising his face, cutting his chin and making his bottom lip yellow and blow up to Leslie Ash level. His voice was therefore all slobbery and it's too painful for him to shave so he has a bit of a bearded homeless look going on at the moment. Chris said he actually saw Norman again by coincidence after the match had finished, and he’d been cheering so loud that his lip had actually split...lovely. Dave found the whole Sopranos-esque scenario of Zoe finding Norman lying face down in a pool of blood as a source of comedy, which Norman thought was a bit cruel. Dave tried to apologise (but in vain). As regards the actual tournament, Norman thinks we’ll get over that defeat by France and make the semi-finals, where we’ll lose on penalties. You know it’s just gonna happen don’t you. After giving away a signed programme by Noel Gallagher the other day, Chris had got got Norman to sign Chappers football and was giving that away to the best texter this morning. As the texts came flooding in in their thousands, Dave went outside for a kick about with the ball by the atmos mic. Dave isn’t famous for his ball skills (if you pardon the expression) so it came as no surprise that the ball soon fell into the pool, even if by a dodgy rebound off the wall. Thankfully the signature was in permanent ink but after the ball went into the water for a second time, Dave said he was becoming slightly concerned that it might have been fading somewhat. Rach therefore took charge of the situation and took the ball from Dave (not by tackling him or owt). He complained but she said it was a competition prize and she was just trying to be a professional. Someone called Mark eventually won the ball with his text “I deserve it cos I’m a dribbler” (a nice bit of word play there).
Dave had a special dental version of Easy Portuguesey today in tribute to Fatboy Slim. He taught us how to say “I’ve lost a filling”, “This tooth hurts” and “I don’t want it extracted”, which I’m sure will come in handy on a daily basis. Chris repeated the phrase after Dave in Portuguese and admitted that his Portuguese accent sounds more like a generic European, Avid Merrion type voice. Chappers says Chris’s accent is alright compared to Comedy Dave’s, who put on a French accent when asking for a receipt at a toll booth in English last night...
Dave (laughing) - But I think that if you speak English in a slightly continental lilt, it makes you more understandable
Chappers - English in French isn’t always a winner in Portugal though
(Chris and Dave laugh)
CHAPPERS, COMPETITION WINNERS AND MID NEWS GUITAR SOLOS:>>>>
Chappers joined the team after 9 o’clock, although yet again he was wearing the same shirt as he has done for the last couple of days. Mark said he’d change later but had just stuck that particular shirt on as it was the first thing to hand this morning...
Chris - Really?..(laughter)...that’s bizarre cos the first thing into my hand..
(all laugh)
Dave (interrupting) - ...was your toothbrush!!
Chris - That’s right!!! (all laugh again)
Because kick off was at 5 o’clock yesterday, Chappers was doing live reports from the match back into Scott Mills’ drivetime show. However he didn’t warn any of the screaming England fans around him about this, so was taking one hell of a risk. Chris said Mark got so lucky as about one second after he’d given his out and was back off the air, some bloke screamed “Come on Scholesy you f*cking w*nker!!!”. Timing is everything. Before the game Moyles himself had got a lucky scare as Chappers handed him the phone to talk to Scott, not warning him that he was on the air. Thankfully though foul mouthed Chris didn’t utter any expletives down the line at him. Mark explained to Chris how the group stands now after France drew 2-2 with the Croats last night. Basically England need just a draw against Croatia on Monday to qualify for the quarter finals. The team also discussed Michael Owen’s current form. I disagree with Chappers who wants Darius Vassell in the team in his place, that’s just ridiculous. Vassell is a great weapon for us when coming off the bench for 25 minutes, but Owen is a world class striker and you have to play your world class players (current form aside) in these big competitions. Dave thought the tannoy announcer was hilarious for the substitutions yesterday, he kept saying (for example) “Substitution for England - No.10 Michael Owen entering No.23 Darius Vassell” (guh huh). Chris chatted to the competition winners about yesterday’s game. Derek from Sunderland said that he didn’t see Posh near them in the crowd yesterday (she was a few rows behind them apparently) but he did say that he saw the leg end (yep the gap is there on purpose) that is Carlton Palmer in front of them in a pink shirt. Somehow Dave failed to notice Carlton, despite his shirt colour and the conversations the rest of the team were having about him. Derek took a pic of Carlton without getting in shot, exactly what he did when he saw Des Lynam on their plane out there to Portugal. Chris by the way has got his Des jingle amended, it now goes “and he’s finally met Des Lynam”.
Dom was in the middle of some serious news story at 9:30 when that plinky plinky guitar intro and the start of one of Chris’s new jingles came in. Moyles said he was really really sorry and said it was an accident, he was just listening to it off the air but didn’t realise the fader was up. To be fair to Chris he did a marvellous cover up job, claiming it was someone in the villa playing a guitar, and then annoying Dominic by playing it seven more times during his news and One Road Travel bulletin. It made for great radio as with each interruption Dom was obviously becoming more and more frustrated. One Road Travel was good news again today btw. Dave said surely good news in the travel world is actually no news, but Dom said he was just pushing back the boundaries of travel news information. Other stuff today included Chris and Dave complaining about those stupid foreign waiters who take away your unfinished existing beer when they deliver you your new one - and Chris also gave his opinions on Britney’s new single Everytime, which looks like it's heading for top spot in the chart with Wes this Sunday. While I agree with Chris that the song is distinctly average, I do not agree with him when he says he’d go for Christina over Britney (now there’s a thought). Aled wouldn’t say it but I will - Aguilera is a yankee slut. I’d go for Britney but give me Kirsten Dunst instead any day of the week. While Rach was rushing around working on stuff in the villa last night, Chris settled down to watch Big Brother with Aled. I know that just a few weeks back I was completely slagging off the show on this page, but I can’t deny that I’m watching it more and more now, and last night’s show was well...genius. It was some of the best TV I've seen all year (ratings are up 4 million from the other week as well). Personally I think Nadia, Michelle, Emma and Marco are a bunch of [insert own expletive]. I think Jason and Victor are quality and Ahmed aside, I quite like the rest of them. Chris didn’t have much time to talk about BB but played out selective audio from the huge punch up and a clip of Michelle and Emma (the two thickest girls in the world) asking each other what “getting your comeuppance” means. I tell you what it means - you two bitches out in the next 2 evictions..*cough*, rant over.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
MICHELLE a healthcare assistant from Leicester 2
ANDREW who drives a digger in Hertfordshire 0
Daves Tedious Link
Robbie Williams Strong - Robbie Williams lives in LA and likes dogs, which are two things that he shares in common with Ozzy Osbourne - Ozzy Osbourne has a daughter called Kelly - Kelly rhymes with wellie, which is something you would wear on a foot - A foot is also a unit of measurement, commonly used for the calculation of human height - Height and weight often go together, which is interesting because they also share all but one of their letters in common - The word “common” can also be used to describe a small patch of grassy park land - Park land shouldn’t be mistaken for Parklife, which was a single for Blur - Blur rhymes with buerre, which is the French word for butter - Butter is regarded as being a dairy product, as is milk - Milk comes from cows - Cows were promised to the Swiss team if they beat England last night, which they obviously won’t be getting cos they didn’t, and all that crazy Swiss talk of a cow a man win bonus meant that they must have been living in a dreamland - and somebody who lives in a dreamland and dreams a lot about stuff would be referred to as being a “dreamer” - Which links us to Livin' Joy and Dreamer
WEEK HIGHLIGHTS:
SHOW OF THE WEEK: Monday/ Wednesday
MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: France jingles, Easy Portuguesey and the one and the only Mr Noel Gallagher on the show (Monday), Chihuahua chat, Aled goes shopping, Aled’s football chants and post news and sport chat @ 9:30 (Tuesday), Big Villa, Aled’s Holiday Report, Half time and Easy Portuguesey (Wednesday), Aled @ the Switzerland team hotel and Stubbsy and Lawro on the show (Thursday), plus Switzerland jingles, Comedy Dave Schumacher and mid news guitar solos (all today). Also, don’t forget you can Listen Again to all the weeks shows by following the links to Listen Again via Chris’s Radio 1 mini-site.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7988">> Moyles Live In Portugal - Friday June 18th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
