chrismoyles.net
- Wed Jun 23, 2004 2:24 pm
#241952
1. Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Sugababes - Freak Like Me, 3. Blink 182 - Down, 4. Joss Stone - Super Duper Love, 5. BUZZ OFF - Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy, 6. Basement Jaxx feat Lisa Kekaula - Good Luck 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Stereophonics - Have A Nice Day, 8. Outkast - Roses, 9. The 5678's - Woo Hoo, 10. McFly - Obviously 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Faithless - We Come One, 12. Mario Winans feat Enya & P. Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know, 13. The Ordinary Boys - Talk Talk Talk, 14. Christina Aguilera feat Redman - Dirrty 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Kelis - Trick Me, 16. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Universally Speaking, 17. 50 Cent - If I Can’t, 18. Madonna - Into The Groove (Tedious Link), 19. Scissor Sisters - Laura, 20. The Streets - Dry Your Eyes, 21. J Kwon - Tipsy 9:30 NEWSBEAT 22. Good Charlotte - Girls & Boys, 23. Usher - Burn, 24. Britney Spears - Toxic, 25. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme
Well it only took five months, two weeks and two days...but this place finally got a mention on the breakfast show this morning!!! (about time too). Granted we were mentioned in a little, jokey throwaway type comment by Chris, but nevertheless it’s good to see that he hasn’t forgotten us. He was basically explaining to Dave how the bed for the 7:30 and 8:30 news bulletins was coming in from London on his cue of “coming up later”. This was annoying him though and he wanted to change it to “coming up next”. Very exciting stuff I’m sure you’ll agree *cough*, although Chris seemed convinced it would be gripping for us lot...
Dave - This could provoke confusion
Chris - Mate, they’re gonna open up a new messageboard on chrismoyles.net about this. You watch today..
Dave - mmm
Ahh, our moment in the breakfast show limelight...oh and there it goes again. From a personal point of view I’d love a big peak time site mention just to get some more hits on this page as (without being big headed) I think all the time and effort I put into these reviews deserves more than just 450 hits a day, when Chris has 7 million listeners in total. Some more pleasing news next though - the weather by the villa in Portugal is crap. It’s overcast, dull and even rained a bit this morning. Chris wasn’t too disheartened though, as he said it could be worse - he could be his girlfriend Sophie knee deep in mud at Glastonbury. I presume she’s there already cos she’s some sort of producer on Colin and Edith’s “Glastonbury Calling” BBC 3 series this week, although I may be wrong. Chris said it was also a bit muggy as well as being wet in Portugal today, the perfect opportunity therefore for him to get out his travelling Dombot and do a little mini Muggy mix (note the alliteration there...thanks). Chris played a trail for the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Hyde Park gig last week, plugging the fact that you can now hear the interviews the band did with Zane Lowe on Listen Again @ Radio One ONLINE. The trail was old though and made reference to the gig being last night, so Chris wanted to know who was to blame - the team back in London or the team in Portugal. Rachel was furiously nodding her head and saying that it was the people in London to blame, but she said she’ll get in trouble whatever now as they’ll point the finger at her. Chris said heads are gonna roll when he gets back (which hopefully won’t be for a while yet). Chris asked Dave if he’d heard who had supported the Chilis at Hyde Park. Dave claimed he had but said he’d forgotten. It was James Brown - cue Chris and Dave singing a nice little acapella version of I Feel Good. Chris said that him and Dave are always available to cover for James if he gets ill or fancies a day off...
Dave - We got soul
Chris - What Campbell? Is he coming in?
(Rhys and engineer Richard laugh)
(For Red Hot Chili Peppers pics from Hyde Park just click here)
Italy became the next big name to drop out of Euro 2004 last night, although Chris didn’t see their match with Bulgaria as the team were having a special farewell barbie by the pool for all the competition winners and freeloaders (who fly home this morning). Moyles said the highlight of the evening was repeatedly pushing them all in the pool fully dressed. First up it was Andy, who Chris asked to check his pockets for something and then proceeded to push him in. When Andy got out he congratulated Chris and said that he didn’t see that coming. In that case *push* back in he went. Chris said at one stage Tracey (who was disappointingly wearing two tops), lost her bracelet in the water. All the winners then stupidly leaned over the side to have a look for it, hence *push*, *push* and *push*...
Dom (laughing) - It’s just too easy
Dom said he is actually coming out to see the team in Portugal this weekend with his wife. They are staying in a hotel five minutes down the road from the team’s villa and Chris said he can’t wait to see Dom again. All I know is that if England get beat tomorrow it’s gonna be one awful bit of bad timing. As well as the barbecue last night, there was also a bit of karaoke going on. Chris was singing a bit of Sinatra and Rhys played a bit of guitar (not to that obviously). Moyles said that engineer Richard had the worst costume of the night by far, as his open shirt and comedy pants made him look half Justin Hawkins and half Timmy Mallett. It’s not a good look baby...
WHEN DOM MET STEVE COOGAN AND JACKIE CHAN:
Dom went to interview Steve Coogan and Jackie Chan at a swanky London hotel yesterday morning, this about their new film Around The World in 80 days, which is released in UK cinemas this Friday. Dom said it features a cameo from Arnie Schwarzenegger, who’s wearing the most ridiculous wig you’ve ever seen in your life. After a couple of boring questions to Steve and a bit of a misunderstanding with Chris about who was playing out the clips, Dom moved straight on to the killer question that counts...what’s your favourite cheese? Steve replied with the most comprehensive answer that you’re ever likely to hear to this question. It was over a minute long but the long and short of it was that he used to be a mature cheddar man but now likes dolcelatte, that’s since he’s gone all cosmopolitan and has been living in LA. Dom said Steve was genuinely a nice guy and very relaxing to talk to. Chris said he was pleased to hear that as he’s a big Steve Coogan fan and has heard stories that he’s a bit of an arse. He does come across this way but he’s still a genius. I happen to think that Alan Partridge is the finest TV show ever made (apart from The Royle Family of course). Steve recorded a funny but quite spooky Chris Moyles drop, but then it was time to move on to the main man...Mr Jackie Chan.
Dom said that being in a room with him was quite a surreal experience. Unfortunately him and Will forgot to bring a camera in the mad rush to get there, so no pics are available folks. Dom said that Jackie was a lovely man, who smiles regardless of whether or not you ask him a question. After asking Steve the cheese question, Dom asked Jackie what his favourite Back To The Future film was. Now bearing in mind that he wasn’t asking for his views on world peace and that there are only three possible answers, you wouldn’t have expected Jackie to spend over two and a half minutes contemplating his answer. Dom edited the answer down to 35 seconds and stuck a bit of the Countdown clock over it. Chris and Dave thought it was hilarious, especially as Dom kept saying stuff like “mmm it is a toughie” as Jackie sat there thinking. It didn’t make great radio let’s put it that way. Dom said another thing that didn’t make great radio was all the hand gestures Jackie was making in his next answer. Dom had just asked him how many bones he had broken in his career (as he does all his own stunts), but the reply was so good it was untrue...made all the better by Jackie’s poor grasp of English of course. He said the word “broken” 11 times in a 15 second answer as he pointed out where he had broken himself. Dom said Will was absolutely killing himself in the corner of the room at this point. Dave was pig squeal laughing again. After being late for the news following (what is known in the industry as) “Jackie Chan fun”, Chris got Dominic back on at 8:15 to complete the Jackie chat. He ended by playing Chris the drop Jackie recorded for the show. He was asked to say “Hi this is Jackie The Man Chan, and you’re listening to Chris Moyles on Radio One”, but actually said “Hi This is Jackie Chan man, you’re listening Christophe”. Dom had to tell him it was Chris Moyles and then prompt him again to say "on Radio 1". Chris said he was obviously a big fan of his then. Dave said that if Dom edited all those clips together there’d be a brilliant little jingle in there somewhere. Oh and the film is meant to be utter tripe btw.
CHAT WITH CARRIE, BIG VILLA AND BUZZ OFF:
Dominic said that everything is going well so far this week with new sport girl Carrie. He said it makes a change sitting next to a girl who smells of perfume first thing in the morning, as he’s usually used to the stench of white wine, Tetley’s, silk cut and toilet duck with Juliette. Carrie sounded more uncomfortable today than at any point so far this week, that when Chris started complimenting her and interrupting her bulletins. He just told her not to get upset by his silly, sexist remarks.
Chris - Is that alright sweet cheeks?
(Carrie laughs)
The reason why Chris was interrupting her bulletins was because Serena Williams (*grunt*) was trying to talk about <s>soccer</s> football and sound like she knew what she was talking about. She was going on about England’s chances at Euro 2004 and said that she was now a big fan of Rooney. Chris told her to shut it and stop pretending to show an interest in football. I agree, bugger off back to your baseball love. Sticking with the subject of Rooney for a minute though, Chris said he had some inside information for Carrie in regard to the rumours currently circulating about his future. Chris said he’s leaving Everton...for Ipswich. The reason he knows this is that Ipswich fan and trip engineer Steve told him so last night.
Chris - Granted he did have his boxer shorts round his ankles at the time and was swigging Baileys...
(Dom, Dave, Rach and Carrie laugh)
Chris - ...but I believe him
Big Villa was back at 9:40 this morning, allowing us to catch up on the team’s progress on day 58 in the big villa...erm, villa. We heard the deeply emotional send off to the competition winners, the slamming of the front door and then the big cheers going up and the party tunes going on. We also found out that Aled can’t wait for tomorrow night...for the local surfing championships, and we discovered that supplies of teabags, lager, baked beans and microwavable chips are running low in the villa, as are Rachel’s bottles of blue nun. With Buzz Off fast approaching, the broadband connection cut off and that meant the team weren’t getting their text messages. Therefore Buzz Off was a three player sport this morning, with Chris warning them all that they needed to have an open musical mind to enjoy today’s song. Funny cos I’d say you just need bad musical taste. It was I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred, a number 2 in July 1991. Rach and Dave don’t have bad taste on the whole so buzzed in on 9 and 70 seconds respectively (Dave gave Chris a chorus to be generous). Aled does have...erm shall we say flamboyant musical taste, and even admitted to buying this song on cassette single when it came out. He left it on, prompting Rachel, Dave and Rhys to tickle him and try to get him to buzz it off.
Rach - Buzz it off Aled or Hilton will get it
Chris - Eh, well there you go..
(Rach laughs)
He finally crumbled under the pressure on 2 minutes 39, but still carried on doing his little dance to it with his teddy Hilton on the couch. Aled said he goes to Hilton when he needs support, as he’s a good cuddler. He did agree with Chris though when he pointed out that Hilton’s dressing gown is just that little bit too short. Aled called him a slutty bear. I don’t think I know what to say next.
(Hilton - the slut)
GRAND PRIX CHAT AND COMEDY DAVE’S <s>INCORRECT</s> EASY PORTUGUESEY:>>>>
It’s taking place at a local go kart track at approximately 3 o’clock this afternoon, and Chris is referring to it as “one of the most hotly anticipated races of the year”. Dave said the overcast and wet conditions today are forcing the team to re consider their pit strategies - do they do 2 or 3 stops? Do they use intermediate tyres or slicks? Dave told Dom that they really were stuck in a quarry. Chris asked Carrie and Dom for their big race predictions. They went as follows:
Rachel - How surreal is this? We’re sitting in a villa in the middle of rainy Portugal listening to puffins race a grand prix
Chris - I’m telling ya, and can you believe we didn’t even win a Sony this year Rhys?
Rhys - Oh you got silver didn’t you, you was...
Dave (interrupting) - No we got bronze!
(all laugh)
Rhys - Oh sorry
Dave - We would have taken a silver!!
Chris went for a walk outside in the rain during half time, I dunno why. He ended up down the bottom of the road by the end of it. The next topic on today’s discussion list was a Radio One Cannonball Run 2004. It was mentioned briefly yesterday but Chris said he was more serious this morning, although he’s living in fantasy land if he actually thinks it’s gonna happen. Basically the team are considering doing a three day cannonball run from Lisbon back to London, if they can find any car manufacturers listening who will comprehensively insure them all and loan them one of their ver-hicles (as Dave would say). The insurance might be a problem though as Rachel hasn’t driven properly for seven years and Dave has six points on his licence. Chris said if anyone was genuinely interested then they needed to contact Will Kinder at Radio One today.
Chris - and if anyone wants to sponsor us that might be a help too..
(Rachel laughs)
Rhys - This is the BBC Chris. Be careful
Chris said that they should just go the whole hog and chop it down into a half hour documentary for BBC3 (if Stuart Murphy was interested). On a little side note Nemone’s documentary My Big Fat Greek Olympic Dream goes out on BBC3 soon, should be a good watch - I’ll have more info nearer the time. Rhys said that if they were talking cars for the big cannonball run, a nice Robin Reliant would suit Chris down to the ground (cue Dave laughing). Here are the team’s real cars of choice:
Dave’s Easy Portuguesey phrases made reference to today’s grand prix this morning, but first they were about Chris’s trip to the England team hotel after Monday nights win over Croatia. The first one was genius -“all of my England clothes are stolen and I admit that I am a thief”. Chris wasn’t too happy (as you could probably imagine). Next was “I nearly met Sven”, although Rhys’s Portuguese speaking half cousin Ben was in the villa and came over to tell Dave he actually said “I met nearly Sven”. Dave said he must just have got his grammar slightly the wrong way round. No sh*t sherlock. The last phrase was the best of all. It was linked to today’s big race and everyone guessed that it meant stuff like “the big race is today” or “I’m going to win”. However...
Dave - It means...”eat my dust you crazy mother”..
(everyone laughs)
Ben said that was bang on apart from the pronunciation. Dave blamed that on regional variation and said that he speaks northern Portuguese, not southern Portuguese like Ben does.
FIND CHRIS:>>>>
After Chris’s little wander down the road at half time, he got on the radio mic and went and hid somewhere in the villa. One by one he called the team to come and find him, whispering quietly so that they couldn’t hear him. They struggled at first with Aled and Rachel frequently swapping places by the controls, just so they could go and leg it to look for Chris. He wasn’t found in any of the toilets, nor in anyone’s wardrobe. In fact it was a reluctant Chappers (he just wanted to sit on his arse) who found him, hidden behind the chair in his room. The fact that all the lights were out and the curtains were drawn meant that Mark didn’t see him originally. Dave had to shout to him that Chris’s mic was picking up his voice, and he then went back in and found him. He claimed it was all dark and really scary in there.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
JENNIFER a landscape gardener from Plymouth 2
DEBBIE a school cook from Larg in Scotland 1
Daves Tedious Link
Zero 7 Destiny - If you add an apostrophe, “s” and “child” to the end of the word “destiny” you get Destiny’s Child, the band that launched the careers of Beyonce Knowles and Kelly Rowland - Roland Rat on the other hand had his career launched by former BBC Director General Greg Dyke - A dyke is a type of river feature, as is a weir - “We’re not going home” was a popular chant in Lisbon after England’s 4-2 thumping of Croatia - Someone from Croatia is called a Croat - The word “Croat” shares many of the same letters as the words “goat”, “boat” and “coat” - A coat is what you wear when you’re cold - Cold rhymes with gold, which is measured in carrots - Carrots are a favourite food of rabbits, which in turn are a popular dish of the Spanish - The Spanish were beaten by the Portuguese the other night, who now face England in the quarter finals - The number of teams in the quarter finals is eight - Eight divided by four is two - and two is the exact number of children that Madonna has - Which links us to Madonna and Into The Groove
GEOGRAPHY DISCREPANCY
*There was a debate today about whether a dyke actually is a river feature (no really there was). Rach said that it’s actually a dam, but Dave said that dams, dykes, locks - they’re all river features. Rhys interrupted to say that you can only get locks on canals, not on rivers too. Dave used his old get out clause...
Dave - Dave wins...fact
Rhys - Now I’m the only person here with Geography A level and you’re incorrect
(Collective “Oooh”)
Dave - Ah no you’re wrong cos I got Geography A level too
Rhys - What grade?
Dave - erm C...no D, or was it C?
(all laugh)
Dave - Oh no it was a D. I got a B in my mocks and a D in the real thing
Chris referred to Rhys as Geography boy for the rest of the show after this mini argument.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8018">> Moyles Live In Portugal - Wed June 23rd Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
Well it only took five months, two weeks and two days...but this place finally got a mention on the breakfast show this morning!!! (about time too). Granted we were mentioned in a little, jokey throwaway type comment by Chris, but nevertheless it’s good to see that he hasn’t forgotten us. He was basically explaining to Dave how the bed for the 7:30 and 8:30 news bulletins was coming in from London on his cue of “coming up later”. This was annoying him though and he wanted to change it to “coming up next”. Very exciting stuff I’m sure you’ll agree *cough*, although Chris seemed convinced it would be gripping for us lot...
Dave - This could provoke confusion
Chris - Mate, they’re gonna open up a new messageboard on chrismoyles.net about this. You watch today..
Dave - mmm
Ahh, our moment in the breakfast show limelight...oh and there it goes again. From a personal point of view I’d love a big peak time site mention just to get some more hits on this page as (without being big headed) I think all the time and effort I put into these reviews deserves more than just 450 hits a day, when Chris has 7 million listeners in total. Some more pleasing news next though - the weather by the villa in Portugal is crap. It’s overcast, dull and even rained a bit this morning. Chris wasn’t too disheartened though, as he said it could be worse - he could be his girlfriend Sophie knee deep in mud at Glastonbury. I presume she’s there already cos she’s some sort of producer on Colin and Edith’s “Glastonbury Calling” BBC 3 series this week, although I may be wrong. Chris said it was also a bit muggy as well as being wet in Portugal today, the perfect opportunity therefore for him to get out his travelling Dombot and do a little mini Muggy mix (note the alliteration there...thanks). Chris played a trail for the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Hyde Park gig last week, plugging the fact that you can now hear the interviews the band did with Zane Lowe on Listen Again @ Radio One ONLINE. The trail was old though and made reference to the gig being last night, so Chris wanted to know who was to blame - the team back in London or the team in Portugal. Rachel was furiously nodding her head and saying that it was the people in London to blame, but she said she’ll get in trouble whatever now as they’ll point the finger at her. Chris said heads are gonna roll when he gets back (which hopefully won’t be for a while yet). Chris asked Dave if he’d heard who had supported the Chilis at Hyde Park. Dave claimed he had but said he’d forgotten. It was James Brown - cue Chris and Dave singing a nice little acapella version of I Feel Good. Chris said that him and Dave are always available to cover for James if he gets ill or fancies a day off...
Dave - We got soul
Chris - What Campbell? Is he coming in?
(Rhys and engineer Richard laugh)
(For Red Hot Chili Peppers pics from Hyde Park just click here)
Italy became the next big name to drop out of Euro 2004 last night, although Chris didn’t see their match with Bulgaria as the team were having a special farewell barbie by the pool for all the competition winners and freeloaders (who fly home this morning). Moyles said the highlight of the evening was repeatedly pushing them all in the pool fully dressed. First up it was Andy, who Chris asked to check his pockets for something and then proceeded to push him in. When Andy got out he congratulated Chris and said that he didn’t see that coming. In that case *push* back in he went. Chris said at one stage Tracey (who was disappointingly wearing two tops), lost her bracelet in the water. All the winners then stupidly leaned over the side to have a look for it, hence *push*, *push* and *push*...
Dom (laughing) - It’s just too easy
Dom said he is actually coming out to see the team in Portugal this weekend with his wife. They are staying in a hotel five minutes down the road from the team’s villa and Chris said he can’t wait to see Dom again. All I know is that if England get beat tomorrow it’s gonna be one awful bit of bad timing. As well as the barbecue last night, there was also a bit of karaoke going on. Chris was singing a bit of Sinatra and Rhys played a bit of guitar (not to that obviously). Moyles said that engineer Richard had the worst costume of the night by far, as his open shirt and comedy pants made him look half Justin Hawkins and half Timmy Mallett. It’s not a good look baby...
WHEN DOM MET STEVE COOGAN AND JACKIE CHAN:
Dom went to interview Steve Coogan and Jackie Chan at a swanky London hotel yesterday morning, this about their new film Around The World in 80 days, which is released in UK cinemas this Friday. Dom said it features a cameo from Arnie Schwarzenegger, who’s wearing the most ridiculous wig you’ve ever seen in your life. After a couple of boring questions to Steve and a bit of a misunderstanding with Chris about who was playing out the clips, Dom moved straight on to the killer question that counts...what’s your favourite cheese? Steve replied with the most comprehensive answer that you’re ever likely to hear to this question. It was over a minute long but the long and short of it was that he used to be a mature cheddar man but now likes dolcelatte, that’s since he’s gone all cosmopolitan and has been living in LA. Dom said Steve was genuinely a nice guy and very relaxing to talk to. Chris said he was pleased to hear that as he’s a big Steve Coogan fan and has heard stories that he’s a bit of an arse. He does come across this way but he’s still a genius. I happen to think that Alan Partridge is the finest TV show ever made (apart from The Royle Family of course). Steve recorded a funny but quite spooky Chris Moyles drop, but then it was time to move on to the main man...Mr Jackie Chan.
Dom said that being in a room with him was quite a surreal experience. Unfortunately him and Will forgot to bring a camera in the mad rush to get there, so no pics are available folks. Dom said that Jackie was a lovely man, who smiles regardless of whether or not you ask him a question. After asking Steve the cheese question, Dom asked Jackie what his favourite Back To The Future film was. Now bearing in mind that he wasn’t asking for his views on world peace and that there are only three possible answers, you wouldn’t have expected Jackie to spend over two and a half minutes contemplating his answer. Dom edited the answer down to 35 seconds and stuck a bit of the Countdown clock over it. Chris and Dave thought it was hilarious, especially as Dom kept saying stuff like “mmm it is a toughie” as Jackie sat there thinking. It didn’t make great radio let’s put it that way. Dom said another thing that didn’t make great radio was all the hand gestures Jackie was making in his next answer. Dom had just asked him how many bones he had broken in his career (as he does all his own stunts), but the reply was so good it was untrue...made all the better by Jackie’s poor grasp of English of course. He said the word “broken” 11 times in a 15 second answer as he pointed out where he had broken himself. Dom said Will was absolutely killing himself in the corner of the room at this point. Dave was pig squeal laughing again. After being late for the news following (what is known in the industry as) “Jackie Chan fun”, Chris got Dominic back on at 8:15 to complete the Jackie chat. He ended by playing Chris the drop Jackie recorded for the show. He was asked to say “Hi this is Jackie The Man Chan, and you’re listening to Chris Moyles on Radio One”, but actually said “Hi This is Jackie Chan man, you’re listening Christophe”. Dom had to tell him it was Chris Moyles and then prompt him again to say "on Radio 1". Chris said he was obviously a big fan of his then. Dave said that if Dom edited all those clips together there’d be a brilliant little jingle in there somewhere. Oh and the film is meant to be utter tripe btw.
CHAT WITH CARRIE, BIG VILLA AND BUZZ OFF:
Dominic said that everything is going well so far this week with new sport girl Carrie. He said it makes a change sitting next to a girl who smells of perfume first thing in the morning, as he’s usually used to the stench of white wine, Tetley’s, silk cut and toilet duck with Juliette. Carrie sounded more uncomfortable today than at any point so far this week, that when Chris started complimenting her and interrupting her bulletins. He just told her not to get upset by his silly, sexist remarks.
Chris - Is that alright sweet cheeks?
(Carrie laughs)
The reason why Chris was interrupting her bulletins was because Serena Williams (*grunt*) was trying to talk about <s>soccer</s> football and sound like she knew what she was talking about. She was going on about England’s chances at Euro 2004 and said that she was now a big fan of Rooney. Chris told her to shut it and stop pretending to show an interest in football. I agree, bugger off back to your baseball love. Sticking with the subject of Rooney for a minute though, Chris said he had some inside information for Carrie in regard to the rumours currently circulating about his future. Chris said he’s leaving Everton...for Ipswich. The reason he knows this is that Ipswich fan and trip engineer Steve told him so last night.
Chris - Granted he did have his boxer shorts round his ankles at the time and was swigging Baileys...
(Dom, Dave, Rach and Carrie laugh)
Chris - ...but I believe him
Big Villa was back at 9:40 this morning, allowing us to catch up on the team’s progress on day 58 in the big villa...erm, villa. We heard the deeply emotional send off to the competition winners, the slamming of the front door and then the big cheers going up and the party tunes going on. We also found out that Aled can’t wait for tomorrow night...for the local surfing championships, and we discovered that supplies of teabags, lager, baked beans and microwavable chips are running low in the villa, as are Rachel’s bottles of blue nun. With Buzz Off fast approaching, the broadband connection cut off and that meant the team weren’t getting their text messages. Therefore Buzz Off was a three player sport this morning, with Chris warning them all that they needed to have an open musical mind to enjoy today’s song. Funny cos I’d say you just need bad musical taste. It was I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred, a number 2 in July 1991. Rach and Dave don’t have bad taste on the whole so buzzed in on 9 and 70 seconds respectively (Dave gave Chris a chorus to be generous). Aled does have...erm shall we say flamboyant musical taste, and even admitted to buying this song on cassette single when it came out. He left it on, prompting Rachel, Dave and Rhys to tickle him and try to get him to buzz it off.
Rach - Buzz it off Aled or Hilton will get it
Chris - Eh, well there you go..
(Rach laughs)
He finally crumbled under the pressure on 2 minutes 39, but still carried on doing his little dance to it with his teddy Hilton on the couch. Aled said he goes to Hilton when he needs support, as he’s a good cuddler. He did agree with Chris though when he pointed out that Hilton’s dressing gown is just that little bit too short. Aled called him a slutty bear. I don’t think I know what to say next.
(Hilton - the slut)
GRAND PRIX CHAT AND COMEDY DAVE’S <s>INCORRECT</s> EASY PORTUGUESEY:>>>>
It’s taking place at a local go kart track at approximately 3 o’clock this afternoon, and Chris is referring to it as “one of the most hotly anticipated races of the year”. Dave said the overcast and wet conditions today are forcing the team to re consider their pit strategies - do they do 2 or 3 stops? Do they use intermediate tyres or slicks? Dave told Dom that they really were stuck in a quarry. Chris asked Carrie and Dom for their big race predictions. They went as follows:
- Dom - Rhys 1st, Dave 2nd, Chris 3rd and Aled bringing up the rear (as usual) in last place
- Carrie - Dave 1st, Chris 2nd, Chappers 3rd with Aled last
Rachel - How surreal is this? We’re sitting in a villa in the middle of rainy Portugal listening to puffins race a grand prix
Chris - I’m telling ya, and can you believe we didn’t even win a Sony this year Rhys?
Rhys - Oh you got silver didn’t you, you was...
Dave (interrupting) - No we got bronze!
(all laugh)
Rhys - Oh sorry
Dave - We would have taken a silver!!
Chris went for a walk outside in the rain during half time, I dunno why. He ended up down the bottom of the road by the end of it. The next topic on today’s discussion list was a Radio One Cannonball Run 2004. It was mentioned briefly yesterday but Chris said he was more serious this morning, although he’s living in fantasy land if he actually thinks it’s gonna happen. Basically the team are considering doing a three day cannonball run from Lisbon back to London, if they can find any car manufacturers listening who will comprehensively insure them all and loan them one of their ver-hicles (as Dave would say). The insurance might be a problem though as Rachel hasn’t driven properly for seven years and Dave has six points on his licence. Chris said if anyone was genuinely interested then they needed to contact Will Kinder at Radio One today.
Chris - and if anyone wants to sponsor us that might be a help too..
(Rachel laughs)
Rhys - This is the BBC Chris. Be careful
Chris said that they should just go the whole hog and chop it down into a half hour documentary for BBC3 (if Stuart Murphy was interested). On a little side note Nemone’s documentary My Big Fat Greek Olympic Dream goes out on BBC3 soon, should be a good watch - I’ll have more info nearer the time. Rhys said that if they were talking cars for the big cannonball run, a nice Robin Reliant would suit Chris down to the ground (cue Dave laughing). Here are the team’s real cars of choice:
- Chris - a convertible Bentley or a Porsche, or maybe a Carrera 4
- Dave - a TVR or maybe a black BMW M3 convertible
- Rach - a red Aston Martin
- Chappers - a Ferrari
- Aled - a red convertible Audi TT
Dave’s Easy Portuguesey phrases made reference to today’s grand prix this morning, but first they were about Chris’s trip to the England team hotel after Monday nights win over Croatia. The first one was genius -“all of my England clothes are stolen and I admit that I am a thief”. Chris wasn’t too happy (as you could probably imagine). Next was “I nearly met Sven”, although Rhys’s Portuguese speaking half cousin Ben was in the villa and came over to tell Dave he actually said “I met nearly Sven”. Dave said he must just have got his grammar slightly the wrong way round. No sh*t sherlock. The last phrase was the best of all. It was linked to today’s big race and everyone guessed that it meant stuff like “the big race is today” or “I’m going to win”. However...
Dave - It means...”eat my dust you crazy mother”..
(everyone laughs)
Ben said that was bang on apart from the pronunciation. Dave blamed that on regional variation and said that he speaks northern Portuguese, not southern Portuguese like Ben does.
FIND CHRIS:>>>>
After Chris’s little wander down the road at half time, he got on the radio mic and went and hid somewhere in the villa. One by one he called the team to come and find him, whispering quietly so that they couldn’t hear him. They struggled at first with Aled and Rachel frequently swapping places by the controls, just so they could go and leg it to look for Chris. He wasn’t found in any of the toilets, nor in anyone’s wardrobe. In fact it was a reluctant Chappers (he just wanted to sit on his arse) who found him, hidden behind the chair in his room. The fact that all the lights were out and the curtains were drawn meant that Mark didn’t see him originally. Dave had to shout to him that Chris’s mic was picking up his voice, and he then went back in and found him. He claimed it was all dark and really scary in there.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
JENNIFER a landscape gardener from Plymouth 2
DEBBIE a school cook from Larg in Scotland 1
Daves Tedious Link
Zero 7 Destiny - If you add an apostrophe, “s” and “child” to the end of the word “destiny” you get Destiny’s Child, the band that launched the careers of Beyonce Knowles and Kelly Rowland - Roland Rat on the other hand had his career launched by former BBC Director General Greg Dyke - A dyke is a type of river feature, as is a weir - “We’re not going home” was a popular chant in Lisbon after England’s 4-2 thumping of Croatia - Someone from Croatia is called a Croat - The word “Croat” shares many of the same letters as the words “goat”, “boat” and “coat” - A coat is what you wear when you’re cold - Cold rhymes with gold, which is measured in carrots - Carrots are a favourite food of rabbits, which in turn are a popular dish of the Spanish - The Spanish were beaten by the Portuguese the other night, who now face England in the quarter finals - The number of teams in the quarter finals is eight - Eight divided by four is two - and two is the exact number of children that Madonna has - Which links us to Madonna and Into The Groove
GEOGRAPHY DISCREPANCY
*There was a debate today about whether a dyke actually is a river feature (no really there was). Rach said that it’s actually a dam, but Dave said that dams, dykes, locks - they’re all river features. Rhys interrupted to say that you can only get locks on canals, not on rivers too. Dave used his old get out clause...
Dave - Dave wins...fact
Rhys - Now I’m the only person here with Geography A level and you’re incorrect
(Collective “Oooh”)
Dave - Ah no you’re wrong cos I got Geography A level too
Rhys - What grade?
Dave - erm C...no D, or was it C?
(all laugh)
Dave - Oh no it was a D. I got a B in my mocks and a D in the real thing
Chris referred to Rhys as Geography boy for the rest of the show after this mini argument.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8018">> Moyles Live In Portugal - Wed June 23rd Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
