The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
User avatar
By Chris
#241983
1. Estelle - 1980 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Razorlight - Golden Touch, 3. Eminem - Without Me, 4. Damien Rice - Cannonball, 5. BUZZ OFF - Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger, 6. Beyonce Knowles feat Sean Paul - Baby Boy 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending, 8. Layo & Bushwacka - Love Story (Vs Finally), 9. The Thrills - Whatever Happened To Corey Haim, 10. Scissor Sisters - Laura 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Scent - Up & Down, 12. The White Stripes - 7 Nation Army, 13. Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved, 14. Rachel Stevens - Some Girls 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Oakenfold - Starry Eyed Surprise, 16. Twista feat Anthony Hamilton - Sunshine, 17. Dido - White Flag, 18. Placebo - Nancy Boy (Tedious Link), 19. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words, 20. Stellar Project feat Brandi Emma - Get Up Stand Up, 21. The Black Eyed Peas - Let’s Get It Started 9:30 NEWSBEAT 22. Big Brovaz - Nu Flow, 23. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 24. Snow Patrol - Spitting Games

A mixed bag this morning, the show summed up by Dave’s new quiz “Alpha-Bets”...which was only funny cos it was so bad. More on that later though - I mean we have to build up to this groundbreaking feature. The big news of the day was of course Stuart’s eviction from Big Brother last night. BB5 chat once again took up a lot of air time on the show this morning, a bit of a turnaround when you think the team had hardly ever mentioned it before the last couple of weeks. Chris and Dave are pleased the floppy haired fool has finally been booted off, with Dave saying he found Stuart hugely irritating last night. In particular the way he was milking the applause, his use of the word “dude” and also the fact that he never finishes any of his senten... Dave also thinks that Stuart needs to keep well away from that bunny boiler Michelle. He said the little montage on who wears the trousers in their relationship last night was terrifying and added that it makes his wife Emma look like a walk in the park really. Chris was keen to stress to all the girls that they weren’t jealous of Stuart or anything:
Dave - Yeah, he has stupid hair
Dom - and he wears cowboy outfits as well. What’s that all about?
Chris - Yeah
Dave - and he’s immature!!!
(Chris and Dom collectively go “yes”)
Dom - mmm (laughs)
(all three of them laugh)

Chris thinks the funniest thing about the whole “surprise eviction” yesterday was the fact that it even surprised the Daily Star...whose early edition this morning led with a double spread and a cover headline on Shell being given the chop and not Stuart. What a mistaker to maker eh. The mix up had been amended by the proper editions later on, although Aled said the article’s writer and Daily Star BB correspondent Peter Dyke is actually a nice guy. He knows him from the press conferences at Channel 4, another one of which he of course attended yesterday evening. Stuart was evicted with just 7% of the 2 million + votes, and thankfully was in a more chatty mood with the journos (and Aled) than he was with old Davina, who struggled to get anything out of him at all. Old Haydn Jones did however fail in his bid to make Stuart come on the show and have Chris cut off his locks for £250 to a charity of his choice. He said he had become quite emotionally attached to his long hair now though and added that the price would have to be a lot higher for him to do it. Screw that then, this is Radio One we’re talking here - not Radio 2. That cash would have probably come out of expenses anyway. Following the first piece of audio from the press conference, Aled made Chris and Dave laugh with the following about Stuart...
Aled - He sounds a bit of a drip to start off with but he does get better
(Chris and Dave laugh)

Aled’s way of telling Stu no one likes Michelle and he shouldn’t go out with her, was to present him with some sort of celebrity blind date game that resulted in him promising to set Stu up on a blind date with Jules. Uh huh, random.
Dave - It’s more blind drunk than blind date though isn’t it?
(Chris laughs)

After the usual barrage of questions on Nadia being a man, Aled asked Stuart if he’d been told that Jason used to be a woman. He said he had his suspicions. Next was the obligatory cheese question (normal orange fridge stuff) and the lie about supporting him all the way and asking if he had a message for Moyles and the Radio One audience. The answer was yes - but not yet. Aled gave Stu his number so that he could get in touch when he was ready to give it to him....that’s the message you understand. The team have now decided who they are rooting for in tomorrows grand finale. Dom is going for Dan (as he’s tall and bald), Dave for Shell and Chris and Aled for Nadia (cue Portugeezer impression). Dave thought the fact they were all picking different people made it more interesting. Nah, only kidding. Nadia will win by a country mile. Chris combined all three of the jingle singer jingles about who will win BB, although Jason was the odd one out as everyone presumed he’d have gone weeks ago. More BB chitter chat in the penultimate BB Aled Update of 2004, tomorrow at 8:15.
Image
(Davina with evictee Stuart last night)

IBIZA, COCONUTS, BUZZ OFF, BIN EMPTYING AND SOFA DELIVERIES:
That’s right, just your typical day on The Chris Moyles Show. With all the trails and promos now running for Radio One In Ibiza this weekend, Chris and Dave were not happy they aren’t going. Dave said there can’t be a Radio One Weekend In Ibiza without them going, as it just wouldn't be the same.
Dave - I mean we’re the sort of people who put Ibiza on the map
Chris - That’s right
(Rachel laughs)
Dave - What are you laughing at? It was nothing before we went there

Over there already (alongside Tong, Jules, Annie Mac, JK and Joel etc)...is Chris’s mate Tim from Accounts. He rang his mobile live on the air after 9 just to get confirmation of this fact. It probably cost Tim about £2 in the process too, I never get those foreign reverse charge things. I’ve not mentioned it so far this week (I don’t think) but during half time Chris has regularly been playing in clips of a samba style parody of Wacko Jacko’s Beat It. We now know it’s from a group of people called “Senor Coconut”, and it’s available on their album “Fiesta Songs” (Available via Amazon here). Rachel and Jocelyn did a relay style run to fetch the CD quick, resulting in Rachel banging herself as she arrived back in the studio. Chris said by the sounds of it, fetching Senor Coconuts had made her damage her own coconuts (ber dum cha). Buzz Off this morning was a vast improvement on yesterday - that’s right, Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor (a number one back in July 82). 88% of the listeners voted Buzz On, despite Rachel’s disbelief that Chris was actually playing it. Dave, her and Aled all buzzed in the fade on 3 minutes 48, 50 and 51 respectively. Also today, only 3 days after having a discussion about on air cleansing operatives...one woman was emptying the studio bin off the back of the Estelle record at 7 o’clock. She was engrossed in her work and made more noise than a baby elephant as the team tried to carry on unaffected in the background. Eventually Chris had to stop her and apologise to everyone listening. Fans of Mini Moyles will no doubt have been gripped by this weeks on going Comedy Dave sofa saga, which took an unexpected twist yesterday. Dave arrived at his and Emma’s new place just ahead of 3pm, as an unnamed furniture retailer (*cough* John Lewis *cough*) was due to deliver their new sofa - which had been booked in for months may I add - at some point between 3 and 9pm. After the team moaned about huge delivery windows like that, Dave revealed that after he’d got himself all set up with magazines, food and work stuff for potentially a six hour wait...he got a call at four minutes to 3 saying they couldn’t come today after all. They are now coming on Saturday but this has thrown his whole schedule into turmoil, as the sofa was due to be getting scotchguarded today and that’s now had to be put back. Vitty wasn’t happy at all...
Chris - You should just do what I do when it comes to your sofa problem
Dave - What?
Chris - Sit on the floor
(plays trail)

Chris told a story about when his car had a flat battery up in Stoke, and this sparked off the idea to get people to text in if they were waiting for some sort of delivery (not a baby though). Texts flooded in from disgruntled people waiting for phones, beds, sofas, last nights pizza and the like. Dave and Chris thought they were doing a good job:
Dave - We’re like Watchdog us
Chris - Yeah..
(Rach, Dom & Jules laugh)
Chris - Woof!

Image
(Dave and Chris - the new Nicky Campbell and erm, that woman who used to do Newsround?)

WILL SMITH 4 RACHEL AND JINGLES ABOUT THE ORKNEYS:>>>
Image
(Mini Version of the team pic with Will - See yesterday’s review for the big one)
As Will didn’t arrive until 9:25 yesterday, the team decided to mix down a five minute highlights package of his interview to play out at 7:45, although it seemed kind of cheap and didn’t even include the best parts from yesterday. Chris also wanted to point out a few things about the pic Will had taken with all the team (you can see it above):
1 - Will Kinder is not a religious figure but that logo on the right does appear to be some kind of halo
2 - Aled was really there, that isn’t a cardboard cut out of him
3 - Dave seems to be tickling Will Smith’s ears with his incredibly long and elastic arm
Rach also added that they all look like midgets compared to the two Will's, and Smith looks like he’s cutting her hair. Dave said Will was well up for a bit of the old Rachel yesterday, he was squeezing past her a lot and at one point even pushed her up against the wall, although obviously not in an aggressive away. Rach said she quite enjoyed that actually, prompting Chris to do a funny impression of her inviting Will to have a romp in her bedroom. He suggested Rach take Will to see Kidderminster...
Rach - He’d love it
Chris - I’m sure he would

Today is the penultimate day of the 8:00 - 8:30 Chris Moyles Jingle Singer/Audio Imaging Singer challenge, with plenty of contenders for today’s word. They included ostrich, conjunctivitis, haemoglobin, billboard, Bill Gates and tambourine. In the end though the team settled on “Orchadian”. It was Dominic’s word and he said he’d learned it while reporting on Cameron winning BB last year, as someone from The Orkneys is known as an “orchadian”. Here’s the jingle then:-
”We’ve been challenged by Chris Moyles to get in certain words,
That fit into this jingle, no matter how absurd,
So here’s the days new jingle word - orchadian,
It relates to the Orkneys so stick that up your rectum,
The Chris Moyles Show, Education For The Nation, National Radio One”


OTHER NEW JINGLE TODAY:>>>>
”Chris Moyles writes these jingles when he’s sitting in his home,
While Sophie’s watching TV, chatting on the phone,
She asked if he could write a jingle that mentioned her name,
He said they sung it once but they would not sing it again,
The Chris Moyles Show, National Radio One”


COMEDY DAVE’S ALPHA-BETS:
Image
Prepare yourselves people, this is Dave’s next EQF (aka experimental quiz format) to follow in the footsteps of the legend that was <s>not</s> Reverse-a-Word. In traditional Dave style it went totally to pot, although Vitty claimed that it had actually had some positive feedback and had just suffered from a few early “teething problems”. Here’s the basic rules to “Alpha-Bets” then, the game that combines knowledge, luck and vision. These rules are taken from the Step by Step Guide to the game that can be found here @ Radio One ONLINE (so thanks to my great chums over there). We nick all their pictures don’t you forget.
1) Find another person with which to pair up
2) Take it in turns to answer a series of general knowledge questions. These must all have an alphabetic theme. One person from the pair will be asked three questions, while the other must alpha-bet on the outcome of their partner's answers
3) Odds should have been offered on each of the questions, so there's a skill involved in choosing which questions to punt on
4) Each team starts the game with an alpha-betting kitty of 10 “Fantasy Pounds” to alpha-bet on as many - or indeed as few - of their partners questions as possible
5) If you bet on a question and your partner answers it correctly then you win. Equally if you decide to back your partner on a question and they get it wrong, then you lose your stake
6) The winning team is simply the pair with the most fantasy cash at the end of our series of alpha-bets
7) Good luck!
Image
I personally think “Good luck!” should have been point one, as you need it to have any chance of understanding the rules. If you did though well done, now try and follow this. It was Chris and Aled Vs Dom and Rach (with Chris and Dom answering and Aled and Rach betting). Dave thought Chris was undermining the serious nature of the quiz by playing in snippets of Bullseye music...although he simply thought he was “glamming it up” a bit. Chris and Aled went first with their three questions. They stuck £3.33 on each question...
1. What A is the capital of Turkey?
Answer - Pass (ANKARA)
2. What B proceeds the word “plague” and is the official term for the black death?
Answer - Bubonic (CORRECT) 3-1
3. Which C is a delicacy made from the eggs of the sturgeon?
Answer - Caviar (CORRECT) 2-1
TOTAL = £16.65 (you don’t get your stake back for some reason - and needless to say Pythagoras Vitty had trouble working out the money they’d won)
Chris - You’re listening to Radio One. Normal great programming will resume shortly. Please bear with us as Dave is obviously having some kind of breakdown live on air
(Rachel and Dom laugh)


They were up next...
1. What D is the christian name of controversial male athlete Chambers?
Answer - Dwain (CORRECT) 2-1
2. What E is a religious festival and the name of the road that is home to Hibernian FC?
Answer - Pass (EASTER)
3. What F is the old name for the island we now know as Taiwan?
Answer - Pass (FORMOSA)
TOTAL = £8.00
Chris and Aled were therefore crowned as champions, although Moyles said he was so bored it hurt, and added that silence would have been more entertaining than Alpha-Bets. Still better than HeadJam though.
Chris - So that’s the quiz then?
Dave - Well yeah
Chris - I’ve gotta be honest Dave, it’s no millionaire!
Dave - Do you not think?
Chris - No
Dave - Do you not think on TV it’d be better with graphics and stuff?
(starts laughing)


CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
LUCY from Somerset who’s getting married to Paul Turner on Saturday (not the jingle guy) 2
JAMES from Portsmouth who’s a driver in The British Forces 1

Daves Tedious Link
Michael Jackson Beat It - Michael Jackson’s sister Janet had a 1986 hit with Nasty - Nasty rhymes with “pasty”, which is something you might eat in Cornwall - Cornwall only borders one county and that’s called Devon - Devon was the name of a character in the TV series NightRider - NightRider starred David Hasselhoff, who was supposed to be on the show this week but now can’t come on cos apparently he’s too busy - Busy is a word that you’d associate with bees - Bees are kept in hives - Now if you add “the” to “Hives” you get The Hives, who are a band from Sweden - People from Sweden are known as Swedes - and Swedes are also a type of vegetable, often bracketed in the same group as turnips - Turnips shouldn’t be mistaken for turn ups, which is something you might have on your trousers if you’re somebody who suffers from short legs - Legs was a big hit for ZZ Top - ZZ Top consists of just three members and in that respect shares something in common with other three member groups such as Bros, The Thompson Twins and of course Placebo - Which links us to Placebo and Nancy Boy

MINI MOYLES DAILY UPDATE:>>>>
*Jules is off to Greece tomorrow for the Olympics, presenting her sport bulletins from Athens each morning. (Roy Walker Voice) She’s packing...
*Davina will be on the show on the phone tomorrow
*Dave and Chris spent last night in the pub with Ray, Fed and Gos from last year's BB
*Dave's sofa will be delivered on Saturday and Dom found his quote for the new flat roof a bit steep
*Rachel is going to see Snow Patrol live at Somerset House in London on Sunday
Image
Finally - Happy Birthday to the two Mr Jones’s today...both Aled and Rachel’s dads!!

<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8217">> Thursday August 5th 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>

Sat and today are up

Changes at Radio One

Scott Mills is finally getting a Breakfast Show, a[…]