chrismoyles.net
- Mon Aug 09, 2004 12:28 pm
#241985
ON BEHALF OF ALL AT CHRISMOYLES.NET...HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALED!!!
1. Estelle - 1980 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Eminem - Lose Yourself, 3. Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending, 4. 3 Of A Kind - Baby Cakes, 5. BUZZ OFF - Ce Ce Peniston - We Got A Love Thang, 6. Lostprophets - Last Train Home 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Blu Cantrell feat Sean Paul - Breathe, 8. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 9. Busted - Thunderbirds Are Go 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Mis-Teeq - Scandalous, 11. Franz Ferdinand - Michael, 12. Kristian Leontiou - Shining 8:30 NEWSBEAT 13. Twista feat Anthony Hamilton - Sunshine, 14. Pink - Last To Know, 15. Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way, 16. Primal Scream - Loaded (Tedious Link), 17. Scissor Sisters - Laura, 18. Mousse T feat Emma Lanford - Is It Cos I'm Cool?, 19. The 411 - Dumb, 20. Javine - Don't Walk Away 9:30 NEWSBEAT 21. Scent - Up & Down, 22. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ, 23. The Hives - Walk Idiot Walk
Seen as though Chris left mentioning this until the very final minute of the show today, I think it’s only fair that I begin the week by wishing a very happy 28th birthday to friend of the site and Wales’ number one tea maker himself, Mr Aled Haydn Jones. Chris and Dave both thought Aled’s birthday wasn’t until Wednesday for some reason, although they did manage to scramble together some very last minute gifts for him. Well by that I mean an unsigned card, an envelope and a birthday cake with a sell by date of July 23rd. Aw, what a nice touch. Aled tried to say thanks but Chris told him to shut up and go make him a cuppa. Penblwydd Hapus Aled. To be fair it was a very busy show this morning, although I can’t believe that Chris would have left it so late before mentioning it if he hadn’t actually forgotten himself. Shell and Dan from Big Brother were this morning's big live studio guests after 8, Jules was live in Athens all morning, Aled had his final BB Update of the year to do and Chris and Dave did their new, fresh and Wes-less Official Chart Recap. Plus there was all of the regular guff to fit in too - Buzz Off, Tedious Link, Carpark Catchphrase etc. Big Brother was the main talking point though, and as expected Nadia emerged victorious from Friday night with a massive 3,863,696 votes (that’s 74% in total). Aled was there in person, Dom and Chris watched it live, Dave saw the recap last night and Rachel didn’t see it at all. She went watching Basement Jaxx instead, who Chris called “The Weather Girls with a decent band behind them”. Just about fair comment I think. Dom and Dave said they could both now hear Chris when the eviction “voice of doom” lines were played into the house, although Moyles was a bit concerned about how camp he sounded when he said the word “Daniel”. If you have been on Mars over the weekend and missed the BB final then the housemates came out in this order: Shell 4th, Dan 3rd, Jason 2nd and Nadia 1st. Chris confirmed that the show had put bids in for all four of them, and they are optimistic that Nadia will come on at some point later this week. Jason however is looking less likely, as he’s done a runner and by the sounds of it isn’t a big fan of Chris’s anyway (more on that later though). As usual Aled attended the post show press conference on Friday with the four of them, and got an immediate reaction as soon as he introduced himself. It was from a giggly Shell (who had been sucking helium by the sounds of it) and she told Aled that she loves him and thinks he’s great. Chris had left her the usual postcard message and she was extremely thankful he didn’t slate her:
”To Shell, sorry you didn’t win. However, we all fancied the pants off you, lots of love, Chris Moyles”
She said that she fancied him too now, announced that Chris “rocks dude” and accepted Aled’s invitation to come on the show straight away. Chris said he was “so in here”. So not only is Shell super hot but she’s also got great taste in radio shows too. Perfect. Next up was Dan, who Aled had made out to Chris off the air as a big fan of the show as well. Hmm, I’m not so sure myself. Dave summed him up when he said “slightly reluctant”. Dan said he had heard the odd show on occasions...
Aled - Do you like Chris Moyles?
Dan - He’s a very strong character isn’t he?
(press conference gathering & Aled laugh)
(Chris, Dave and Dom laugh listening to it)
Dan said he could handle Chris though, and accepted his invitation of a pint with him in the near future. Jason was next and he asked Aled if Chris was the shaven headed, heavy one with a northern accent who likes the sound of his own voice too much. Nah, he must be thinking of a different one (ber dum cha). Nadia blatantly lied and said she’d heard the show a couple of times, although I kind of got the feeling Aled left her in the edit for comedic purposes only (and rightfully so as it turned out). Next was the “we’ve supported you for the whole series” line, which was actually very funny as Aled repeated it word for word to each housemate. Shell left a message for “Chris Malls” (as Aled pronounces it) saying that she loved listening to the show and couldn’t wait to be on it. She didn’t have long to wait as it turned out, I’ve a ton of stuff on her interview with Chris this morning coming up in a minute. First the inevitable cheese question though - Welsh Goats Cheese for Shell, any for Dan, Stilton for Jason and cheddar for Nadia. Plus, the killing of BB Aled (erm with a motorbike - it didn’t quite work).
(Nadia celebrates her win)
With Shell (who arrived at 20 past seven!) and Dan almost ready to go, Chris asked Dom if he had any questions for him to use. He said to ask Dan his favourite motorway, but with Shell he didn’t really have anything to ask. He denied he’d just sit there staring at her though...
Chris - Yeah whatever, Dave?
Dave - Well likewise really. I’d just like to congratulate them both and wish them a pleasant onward journey
Chris (laughs) - Right
SHELL AND DAN LIVE IN THE STUDIO:
(From left to right that’ll be Dan, Chris and Shell then - just to clarify)
Sexy Shell was first to join Chris and the team at quarter past 8. She said she was a big fan of his and of the show. Dave introduced himself to her. She said she was a big fan of his too...
Chris - You like me more though right?
Shell (lowers voice and laughs) - No actually I like Comedy Dave more
Chris - Right
Shell - Sorry Chris (Shell and Rachel laugh)
Dave - Interview terminated!!
Chris - Yeah, thanks for coming in...
(all laugh)
Shell’s 20 minute interview was your archetypal Moyles perv fest, although there is no way in a million years that I can criticise him for that. In fact he deserves credit for it. At least he gets to the point (she’s fit) pretty quickly, rather than just rambling on about crap no one cares about. He talked about her in the wedding dress (hubba hubba), her short skirts, her in the red schoolgirl top, her teeth, her suntan, her boyfriend of 5 and a half years (it’ll never last) and her boobs. The trick is to ask about these at regular intervals y’see, so to make sure you don’t look like some kind of sexist pig who’s only got her in the studio cos she’s fit *cough*. Chris’s parting words were actually “lovely to meet you, you were great in the house and man alive are you hot” (cue Dave laughter). He also told her she’s got nothing to worry about as regards her breasts...
Chris - I mean some people have got terrible problems with their boobs. Rachel, do you want to join in this conversation?
(Shell and Dave laugh)
Rach wasn’t happy. Shell said all the usual “strange to be out” things, but also revealed that the BB housemates get paid £30 a day for being in there. She therefore made £2130 over the summer, which she said was better than a summer job for a student (tell me about it).
Dave told Shell that his mum liked her eviction dress. Shell said thanks, and told Dave that he had such a lovely voice. Chris asked her if she was deaf, to which she replied “you what?” (not really). Dave said Shell should be his voiceover agent. She said she now plans to go back to Glasgow Uni for 3 more years, in the hope of training to become a lecturer on art history. Rock a loo la. Shell told Chris about her 20 year old hot unattached sister who listens to the show. Unfortunately though, she too prefers Dave to Chris.
Chris - How old’s your mum?
Shell - She’s 60
Chris - That’ll do me
Shell - OK (laughs)
Dave - She likes me best too though!! (all laugh)
Shell - No I think she likes Chris best actually
Chris - Yeah, well what a surprise. There had to be one and it had to be your mum
(Dave laughs)
As Dom came in to read the news at 8:30 and Shell left, she told him she liked Dom too. This wasn't making Chris feel any better.
DAN NEXT:>>>
Yeah who cares, back to Shell. Alright then, here we go. Dan came in and stuck on his cans (ah he knows the lingo), complimented Daves voice (it’s catching) and then got chatting to Chris about his days as a DJ at Silhouette nightclub in Hull.
Chris - Do you mix?
Dan - Badly
Chris - Do you? You can get a job here
(Dan laughs)
Chris - We’ll send you to Ibiza for the summer. That’s what we do with the rest of them
There was a couple of argumentative moments in Dan’s brief solo stay but more or less he seemed to enjoy himself, only taking real exception to Chris’s comments about Stuart being wet. He said he had no real urge to move to London (I dunno why) and did the usual line about going back home and “keeping his options open”. I think a role on The Salon awaits personally. Other subjects discussed were money motivation, Dan’s relationship in the house with Jason and Chris pronouncing Ahmed’s name wrong as the voice of doom..
Dan - Davina got it right
Chris - Yeah, alright, thanks
(Dan and Dave laugh)
Shell rejoined Dan for the final link, during which Chris presented her with the early edition of last Thursday’s Daily Star claiming she had been evicted when it was in fact Stuart.
Chris - That’s a fake story about you in a newspaper. Cos I bet you won’t see any more of those
(Dan laughs)
Shell - Oh with a really nice picture of Jordan next to me
Chris - Well there you go, and Sven on top
Dave - So to speak
Shell - Lovely, oh fab!
Chris - It’s all been kicking off with Sven by the way
Both - Yeah
Shell - Has he been rather naughty?
Chris - Yeah he had an affair with a fire alarm
Dave - No, FARIA ALAM her name was
(Shell, Dan, Rachel and Aled laugh)
Chris - Oh right
The team were sorting out the aforementioned drink with Dan (mind you aforementioned about 5 years ago...this is a bloody long review ain’t it?), when Shell said she’ll come for a drink with them too. Chris said she could go with Dave then as he’s obviously not good enough for her.
Dave - I’ll wait till my wife's away
Shell - No bring your wife, that’d be lovely
Dave - I was kidding obviously
(all laugh)
MORE SHELL STUFF, JULES IN ATHENS, BEDTIME CATCHPHRASE AND BUZZ OFF:>>
Once <s>Dan and</s> Shell had gone, Chris said he was genuinely gutted that Shell liked Dave and his voice more than him and his. Chris said he always thought Dave had needed a bit of help, as he always sounds dead slow. Rach thought Shell might have just been playing hard to get. Dave rubbished that:
Dave - Come on, accept it. You’re just not in my league. Eat my dust...
This conversation will sound pathetic to 95% of females reading this but as a male, I must defend it’s purpose strongly. Erm, I would if I knew it. Basically all the lads on the team (Aled included) took a shine to Shell. Aled said she kissed him, Dave said she liked his voice, Dom said she told him (direct quote) “Lovely to meet you Dom, you’re very good at presenting the news, bye bye now”...and Chris said she stroked his arse...or was that Dan? Dom did a brief interview with her for Newsbeat off the air and she confirmed that Aled was top of her breakfast show team rankings and indeed Dom, second. The words “it”, “fixed” and “you” spring to mind. A top guest though Shell, good to have Chris interviewing a fan of the show for once.
So for the next month while the Olympics are ongoing, and yes that is “the next month”...Juliette Ferrington will be broadcasting her sports bulletins into the show via ISDN from an Athens hotel balcony, overlooking the sea. Beats an underground studio with bust air con next to a tube line don’t it? Also, Greece is two hours ahead of us so Jules can afford to get up relatively late to read the sport. She did the usual temperature gags with Chris and Dom that Dave got bored of, plus there was the beautiful sound of a tram running past the hotel window during a clip of Martin O’Neill. Moyles had a clear message for her engineer Gary - while the clips are on, the mics go off. Rachel wanted Jules to send the team some pics of her. She said she would do - as soon as she’d sorted her digital camera out. She charged it up without the battery in this morning, daft cow. Jules said she was off to enjoy the hotel bar (it opens at 10, 8am our time), the sun and the sea - all ahead of tonights Five Live “team building” exercise - predictably in a bar. At 9:15 Chris almost made the cardinal sin of forgetting Rachel’s Carpark Catchphrase line. Aled stopped him, Chris just blamed the fact that he’s not done it in 2 days (done CPC that is). Dave said unless Chris plays it at home in bed with Sophie. This prompted intense questioning from Chris on whether or not Dave and Emma had actually have a game of Carpark Catchphrase in bed, or if she had ever helped him compose a Tedious Link there. He denied it furiously while Dom did little Mr Fish lines. Chris said if he were to play at home then the CPC clue would probably be the word “job” written on a hand, if you get my drift people. Buzz Off this morning was a bit of a letdown in all honesty. Chris chose We Got A Love Thang by Ce Ce Peniston, number six back in January 1992. Rach was first to buzz on 1:21, Dave next on 1:36, the listeners third on 2 minutes 20 and Aled finally last on 2:47. How Chris can think that track is better than Finally is a mystery to me.
CHRIS AND DAVE’S NEW STYLE CHART RECAP:>>>
OK here’s something new and very funny (well so far anyway). After seven months of early Monday morning wake ups, Wes has been cruelly axed from the Breakfast Show Chart Recap as basically he was getting very dull. Chris and Dave will now run through the top ten on their own each week, in a bid to speed the feature up basically. They started this morning, and will talk over an edited package of the top ten tunes in a chart stylee. Problems had emerged before they had even started however, as there was confusion between Moyles and Vitty over how many new entries there were in this weeks top ten.
Rachel - Can we get Wes back?
Chris and Dave took it in turns to run through the ten, with brilliant results. As there won’t really be anything to write on this “feature” from now on, I’ve decided (at first anyway) to list the top 10 with my comments each week, plus anything else of note. Last weeks position in brackets btw:
10 (8) O-Zone - Dragostea Din Tei (Foreign bilge)
9 (8) J Kwon - Tipsy (You’d have to be to buy it)
8 (-) Ana Johnsson - We Are (Half decent, Dave pronounced her name wrong)
7 (5) Rachel Stevens - Some Girls (Interesting lyrics)
6 (4) D12 - How Come (Good)
*(number 6 stab plays then D12 chorus) Dave - Ah D12, and How Come of course
(Chris & Rach laugh)*
5 (-) Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending (I’m liking it)
4 (-) Anastacia - Sick and Tired (Never heard it but suspect that’s a good thing)
3 (3) Shapeshifters - Lola’s Theme (Great but overplayed)
2 (2) The Streets - Dry Your Eyes (Their best song yet)
**Dave - Yup
(Chris, Rach and Aled laugh)
Chris - What do you mean “yup”?
Dave - Well you know what it is don’t you, it’s him**
1 (1) Busted - Thunderbirds Are Go (Great intro...that’s the best I can do)
*Mills is covering The Chart on Sunday as Wes is off on his hols. Dave was shocked him and Chris didn’t get considered for Chart Show cover. Wes’s little break further affects daytime Radio One: he will cover Early Brekkie for Nemone tomorrow but from Wednesday at 4am it’ll be JK and Joel, in for Wes who was in for Nemone, who’s in for Jo Whiley. It’s all so god damn confusing. Oh and listen out for the first JK and Joel/Chris Moyles hand over on Wednesday...promises to be good.
TEAM FOOTY ROUND UP:>>>
This will be a regular Monday review feature throughout the new season - basically enabling you to keep up to date with how the teams respective football sides fared over the weekend. Due to pure laziness Aled’s Aberystwyth are excluded as it’s too much effort to find their scores. Here we go then with week 1 anyway...
Chris - Leeds beat Derby 1-0 in The Coca Cola Championship
Dave and Dom - No Game
Jules - Port Vale lost 3-2 at Walsall in Coca Cola League 1
Rachel - Kidderminster drew 0-0 at Rushden & Diamonds in Coca Cola League 2 (the best of all the leagues - cos my team is top *cue that pic of teletext the team were discussing on Friday*)
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
STUART a civil engineer from Biggleswade 2
DIPEN (no really) - a David The Photographer soundalike from Nottingham 1
Daves Tedious Link
Jinny Keep Warm - “Jinny” is the way that people from New Zealand pronounce the name Jenny - Jenny Powell used to be a colleague of Nicky Campbell’s on Wheel Of Fortune - Fortune favours the brave - Braveheart is a classic film starring Mel Gibson - Gibson is a famous name in the world of electric guitars - Guitars have strings and in that respect share something in common with violins - Violins are played with the use of a bow - Bo Duke was the cousin of Luke Duke and Daisy Duke, who all lived with their Uncle Jesse - Jesse Hold On was a top four hit for B*Witched - There were four people in B*Witched, exactly the same amount of people that made up The Four Tops - The Four Tops had a top 7 hit in 1988 with Loco In Acapulco, which featured in the film Buster all about the great train robbery - Robberies normally involve the use of guns - and when a gun has bullets in it, you describe it as being loaded - Which predictably links us to Primal Scream and Loaded
MINI MOYLES UPDATE:>>> (Thanks to Jono for providing it)
*Dave's sofa arrived and is being scotchguarded.
*Chris has been training (no really this time)
*Aled didn't celebrate his birthday because he's too tired after all the excitement of the BB5 final
*Ferg, the show's exec producer is in trouble with Chris after 2 cabs turned up for him in the morning, which was very awkward...
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8246">> Monday August 9th 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
1. Estelle - 1980 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Eminem - Lose Yourself, 3. Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending, 4. 3 Of A Kind - Baby Cakes, 5. BUZZ OFF - Ce Ce Peniston - We Got A Love Thang, 6. Lostprophets - Last Train Home 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Blu Cantrell feat Sean Paul - Breathe, 8. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 9. Busted - Thunderbirds Are Go 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Mis-Teeq - Scandalous, 11. Franz Ferdinand - Michael, 12. Kristian Leontiou - Shining 8:30 NEWSBEAT 13. Twista feat Anthony Hamilton - Sunshine, 14. Pink - Last To Know, 15. Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way, 16. Primal Scream - Loaded (Tedious Link), 17. Scissor Sisters - Laura, 18. Mousse T feat Emma Lanford - Is It Cos I'm Cool?, 19. The 411 - Dumb, 20. Javine - Don't Walk Away 9:30 NEWSBEAT 21. Scent - Up & Down, 22. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ, 23. The Hives - Walk Idiot Walk
Seen as though Chris left mentioning this until the very final minute of the show today, I think it’s only fair that I begin the week by wishing a very happy 28th birthday to friend of the site and Wales’ number one tea maker himself, Mr Aled Haydn Jones. Chris and Dave both thought Aled’s birthday wasn’t until Wednesday for some reason, although they did manage to scramble together some very last minute gifts for him. Well by that I mean an unsigned card, an envelope and a birthday cake with a sell by date of July 23rd. Aw, what a nice touch. Aled tried to say thanks but Chris told him to shut up and go make him a cuppa. Penblwydd Hapus Aled. To be fair it was a very busy show this morning, although I can’t believe that Chris would have left it so late before mentioning it if he hadn’t actually forgotten himself. Shell and Dan from Big Brother were this morning's big live studio guests after 8, Jules was live in Athens all morning, Aled had his final BB Update of the year to do and Chris and Dave did their new, fresh and Wes-less Official Chart Recap. Plus there was all of the regular guff to fit in too - Buzz Off, Tedious Link, Carpark Catchphrase etc. Big Brother was the main talking point though, and as expected Nadia emerged victorious from Friday night with a massive 3,863,696 votes (that’s 74% in total). Aled was there in person, Dom and Chris watched it live, Dave saw the recap last night and Rachel didn’t see it at all. She went watching Basement Jaxx instead, who Chris called “The Weather Girls with a decent band behind them”. Just about fair comment I think. Dom and Dave said they could both now hear Chris when the eviction “voice of doom” lines were played into the house, although Moyles was a bit concerned about how camp he sounded when he said the word “Daniel”. If you have been on Mars over the weekend and missed the BB final then the housemates came out in this order: Shell 4th, Dan 3rd, Jason 2nd and Nadia 1st. Chris confirmed that the show had put bids in for all four of them, and they are optimistic that Nadia will come on at some point later this week. Jason however is looking less likely, as he’s done a runner and by the sounds of it isn’t a big fan of Chris’s anyway (more on that later though). As usual Aled attended the post show press conference on Friday with the four of them, and got an immediate reaction as soon as he introduced himself. It was from a giggly Shell (who had been sucking helium by the sounds of it) and she told Aled that she loves him and thinks he’s great. Chris had left her the usual postcard message and she was extremely thankful he didn’t slate her:
”To Shell, sorry you didn’t win. However, we all fancied the pants off you, lots of love, Chris Moyles”
She said that she fancied him too now, announced that Chris “rocks dude” and accepted Aled’s invitation to come on the show straight away. Chris said he was “so in here”. So not only is Shell super hot but she’s also got great taste in radio shows too. Perfect. Next up was Dan, who Aled had made out to Chris off the air as a big fan of the show as well. Hmm, I’m not so sure myself. Dave summed him up when he said “slightly reluctant”. Dan said he had heard the odd show on occasions...
Aled - Do you like Chris Moyles?
Dan - He’s a very strong character isn’t he?
(press conference gathering & Aled laugh)
(Chris, Dave and Dom laugh listening to it)
Dan said he could handle Chris though, and accepted his invitation of a pint with him in the near future. Jason was next and he asked Aled if Chris was the shaven headed, heavy one with a northern accent who likes the sound of his own voice too much. Nah, he must be thinking of a different one (ber dum cha). Nadia blatantly lied and said she’d heard the show a couple of times, although I kind of got the feeling Aled left her in the edit for comedic purposes only (and rightfully so as it turned out). Next was the “we’ve supported you for the whole series” line, which was actually very funny as Aled repeated it word for word to each housemate. Shell left a message for “Chris Malls” (as Aled pronounces it) saying that she loved listening to the show and couldn’t wait to be on it. She didn’t have long to wait as it turned out, I’ve a ton of stuff on her interview with Chris this morning coming up in a minute. First the inevitable cheese question though - Welsh Goats Cheese for Shell, any for Dan, Stilton for Jason and cheddar for Nadia. Plus, the killing of BB Aled (erm with a motorbike - it didn’t quite work).
(Nadia celebrates her win)
With Shell (who arrived at 20 past seven!) and Dan almost ready to go, Chris asked Dom if he had any questions for him to use. He said to ask Dan his favourite motorway, but with Shell he didn’t really have anything to ask. He denied he’d just sit there staring at her though...
Chris - Yeah whatever, Dave?
Dave - Well likewise really. I’d just like to congratulate them both and wish them a pleasant onward journey
Chris (laughs) - Right
SHELL AND DAN LIVE IN THE STUDIO:
(From left to right that’ll be Dan, Chris and Shell then - just to clarify)
Sexy Shell was first to join Chris and the team at quarter past 8. She said she was a big fan of his and of the show. Dave introduced himself to her. She said she was a big fan of his too...
Chris - You like me more though right?
Shell (lowers voice and laughs) - No actually I like Comedy Dave more
Chris - Right
Shell - Sorry Chris (Shell and Rachel laugh)
Dave - Interview terminated!!
Chris - Yeah, thanks for coming in...
(all laugh)
Shell’s 20 minute interview was your archetypal Moyles perv fest, although there is no way in a million years that I can criticise him for that. In fact he deserves credit for it. At least he gets to the point (she’s fit) pretty quickly, rather than just rambling on about crap no one cares about. He talked about her in the wedding dress (hubba hubba), her short skirts, her in the red schoolgirl top, her teeth, her suntan, her boyfriend of 5 and a half years (it’ll never last) and her boobs. The trick is to ask about these at regular intervals y’see, so to make sure you don’t look like some kind of sexist pig who’s only got her in the studio cos she’s fit *cough*. Chris’s parting words were actually “lovely to meet you, you were great in the house and man alive are you hot” (cue Dave laughter). He also told her she’s got nothing to worry about as regards her breasts...
Chris - I mean some people have got terrible problems with their boobs. Rachel, do you want to join in this conversation?
(Shell and Dave laugh)
Rach wasn’t happy. Shell said all the usual “strange to be out” things, but also revealed that the BB housemates get paid £30 a day for being in there. She therefore made £2130 over the summer, which she said was better than a summer job for a student (tell me about it).
Dave told Shell that his mum liked her eviction dress. Shell said thanks, and told Dave that he had such a lovely voice. Chris asked her if she was deaf, to which she replied “you what?” (not really). Dave said Shell should be his voiceover agent. She said she now plans to go back to Glasgow Uni for 3 more years, in the hope of training to become a lecturer on art history. Rock a loo la. Shell told Chris about her 20 year old hot unattached sister who listens to the show. Unfortunately though, she too prefers Dave to Chris.
Chris - How old’s your mum?
Shell - She’s 60
Chris - That’ll do me
Shell - OK (laughs)
Dave - She likes me best too though!! (all laugh)
Shell - No I think she likes Chris best actually
Chris - Yeah, well what a surprise. There had to be one and it had to be your mum
(Dave laughs)
As Dom came in to read the news at 8:30 and Shell left, she told him she liked Dom too. This wasn't making Chris feel any better.
DAN NEXT:>>>
Yeah who cares, back to Shell. Alright then, here we go. Dan came in and stuck on his cans (ah he knows the lingo), complimented Daves voice (it’s catching) and then got chatting to Chris about his days as a DJ at Silhouette nightclub in Hull.
Chris - Do you mix?
Dan - Badly
Chris - Do you? You can get a job here
(Dan laughs)
Chris - We’ll send you to Ibiza for the summer. That’s what we do with the rest of them
There was a couple of argumentative moments in Dan’s brief solo stay but more or less he seemed to enjoy himself, only taking real exception to Chris’s comments about Stuart being wet. He said he had no real urge to move to London (I dunno why) and did the usual line about going back home and “keeping his options open”. I think a role on The Salon awaits personally. Other subjects discussed were money motivation, Dan’s relationship in the house with Jason and Chris pronouncing Ahmed’s name wrong as the voice of doom..
Dan - Davina got it right
Chris - Yeah, alright, thanks
(Dan and Dave laugh)
Shell rejoined Dan for the final link, during which Chris presented her with the early edition of last Thursday’s Daily Star claiming she had been evicted when it was in fact Stuart.
Chris - That’s a fake story about you in a newspaper. Cos I bet you won’t see any more of those
(Dan laughs)
Shell - Oh with a really nice picture of Jordan next to me
Chris - Well there you go, and Sven on top
Dave - So to speak
Shell - Lovely, oh fab!
Chris - It’s all been kicking off with Sven by the way
Both - Yeah
Shell - Has he been rather naughty?
Chris - Yeah he had an affair with a fire alarm
Dave - No, FARIA ALAM her name was
(Shell, Dan, Rachel and Aled laugh)
Chris - Oh right
The team were sorting out the aforementioned drink with Dan (mind you aforementioned about 5 years ago...this is a bloody long review ain’t it?), when Shell said she’ll come for a drink with them too. Chris said she could go with Dave then as he’s obviously not good enough for her.
Dave - I’ll wait till my wife's away
Shell - No bring your wife, that’d be lovely
Dave - I was kidding obviously
(all laugh)
MORE SHELL STUFF, JULES IN ATHENS, BEDTIME CATCHPHRASE AND BUZZ OFF:>>
Once <s>Dan and</s> Shell had gone, Chris said he was genuinely gutted that Shell liked Dave and his voice more than him and his. Chris said he always thought Dave had needed a bit of help, as he always sounds dead slow. Rach thought Shell might have just been playing hard to get. Dave rubbished that:
Dave - Come on, accept it. You’re just not in my league. Eat my dust...
This conversation will sound pathetic to 95% of females reading this but as a male, I must defend it’s purpose strongly. Erm, I would if I knew it. Basically all the lads on the team (Aled included) took a shine to Shell. Aled said she kissed him, Dave said she liked his voice, Dom said she told him (direct quote) “Lovely to meet you Dom, you’re very good at presenting the news, bye bye now”...and Chris said she stroked his arse...or was that Dan? Dom did a brief interview with her for Newsbeat off the air and she confirmed that Aled was top of her breakfast show team rankings and indeed Dom, second. The words “it”, “fixed” and “you” spring to mind. A top guest though Shell, good to have Chris interviewing a fan of the show for once.
So for the next month while the Olympics are ongoing, and yes that is “the next month”...Juliette Ferrington will be broadcasting her sports bulletins into the show via ISDN from an Athens hotel balcony, overlooking the sea. Beats an underground studio with bust air con next to a tube line don’t it? Also, Greece is two hours ahead of us so Jules can afford to get up relatively late to read the sport. She did the usual temperature gags with Chris and Dom that Dave got bored of, plus there was the beautiful sound of a tram running past the hotel window during a clip of Martin O’Neill. Moyles had a clear message for her engineer Gary - while the clips are on, the mics go off. Rachel wanted Jules to send the team some pics of her. She said she would do - as soon as she’d sorted her digital camera out. She charged it up without the battery in this morning, daft cow. Jules said she was off to enjoy the hotel bar (it opens at 10, 8am our time), the sun and the sea - all ahead of tonights Five Live “team building” exercise - predictably in a bar. At 9:15 Chris almost made the cardinal sin of forgetting Rachel’s Carpark Catchphrase line. Aled stopped him, Chris just blamed the fact that he’s not done it in 2 days (done CPC that is). Dave said unless Chris plays it at home in bed with Sophie. This prompted intense questioning from Chris on whether or not Dave and Emma had actually have a game of Carpark Catchphrase in bed, or if she had ever helped him compose a Tedious Link there. He denied it furiously while Dom did little Mr Fish lines. Chris said if he were to play at home then the CPC clue would probably be the word “job” written on a hand, if you get my drift people. Buzz Off this morning was a bit of a letdown in all honesty. Chris chose We Got A Love Thang by Ce Ce Peniston, number six back in January 1992. Rach was first to buzz on 1:21, Dave next on 1:36, the listeners third on 2 minutes 20 and Aled finally last on 2:47. How Chris can think that track is better than Finally is a mystery to me.
CHRIS AND DAVE’S NEW STYLE CHART RECAP:>>>
OK here’s something new and very funny (well so far anyway). After seven months of early Monday morning wake ups, Wes has been cruelly axed from the Breakfast Show Chart Recap as basically he was getting very dull. Chris and Dave will now run through the top ten on their own each week, in a bid to speed the feature up basically. They started this morning, and will talk over an edited package of the top ten tunes in a chart stylee. Problems had emerged before they had even started however, as there was confusion between Moyles and Vitty over how many new entries there were in this weeks top ten.
Rachel - Can we get Wes back?
Chris and Dave took it in turns to run through the ten, with brilliant results. As there won’t really be anything to write on this “feature” from now on, I’ve decided (at first anyway) to list the top 10 with my comments each week, plus anything else of note. Last weeks position in brackets btw:
10 (8) O-Zone - Dragostea Din Tei (Foreign bilge)
9 (8) J Kwon - Tipsy (You’d have to be to buy it)
8 (-) Ana Johnsson - We Are (Half decent, Dave pronounced her name wrong)
7 (5) Rachel Stevens - Some Girls (Interesting lyrics)
6 (4) D12 - How Come (Good)
*(number 6 stab plays then D12 chorus) Dave - Ah D12, and How Come of course
(Chris & Rach laugh)*
5 (-) Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending (I’m liking it)
4 (-) Anastacia - Sick and Tired (Never heard it but suspect that’s a good thing)
3 (3) Shapeshifters - Lola’s Theme (Great but overplayed)
2 (2) The Streets - Dry Your Eyes (Their best song yet)
**Dave - Yup
(Chris, Rach and Aled laugh)
Chris - What do you mean “yup”?
Dave - Well you know what it is don’t you, it’s him**
1 (1) Busted - Thunderbirds Are Go (Great intro...that’s the best I can do)
*Mills is covering The Chart on Sunday as Wes is off on his hols. Dave was shocked him and Chris didn’t get considered for Chart Show cover. Wes’s little break further affects daytime Radio One: he will cover Early Brekkie for Nemone tomorrow but from Wednesday at 4am it’ll be JK and Joel, in for Wes who was in for Nemone, who’s in for Jo Whiley. It’s all so god damn confusing. Oh and listen out for the first JK and Joel/Chris Moyles hand over on Wednesday...promises to be good.
TEAM FOOTY ROUND UP:>>>
This will be a regular Monday review feature throughout the new season - basically enabling you to keep up to date with how the teams respective football sides fared over the weekend. Due to pure laziness Aled’s Aberystwyth are excluded as it’s too much effort to find their scores. Here we go then with week 1 anyway...
Chris - Leeds beat Derby 1-0 in The Coca Cola Championship
Dave and Dom - No Game
Jules - Port Vale lost 3-2 at Walsall in Coca Cola League 1
Rachel - Kidderminster drew 0-0 at Rushden & Diamonds in Coca Cola League 2 (the best of all the leagues - cos my team is top *cue that pic of teletext the team were discussing on Friday*)
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
STUART a civil engineer from Biggleswade 2
DIPEN (no really) - a David The Photographer soundalike from Nottingham 1
Daves Tedious Link
Jinny Keep Warm - “Jinny” is the way that people from New Zealand pronounce the name Jenny - Jenny Powell used to be a colleague of Nicky Campbell’s on Wheel Of Fortune - Fortune favours the brave - Braveheart is a classic film starring Mel Gibson - Gibson is a famous name in the world of electric guitars - Guitars have strings and in that respect share something in common with violins - Violins are played with the use of a bow - Bo Duke was the cousin of Luke Duke and Daisy Duke, who all lived with their Uncle Jesse - Jesse Hold On was a top four hit for B*Witched - There were four people in B*Witched, exactly the same amount of people that made up The Four Tops - The Four Tops had a top 7 hit in 1988 with Loco In Acapulco, which featured in the film Buster all about the great train robbery - Robberies normally involve the use of guns - and when a gun has bullets in it, you describe it as being loaded - Which predictably links us to Primal Scream and Loaded
MINI MOYLES UPDATE:>>> (Thanks to Jono for providing it)
*Dave's sofa arrived and is being scotchguarded.
*Chris has been training (no really this time)
*Aled didn't celebrate his birthday because he's too tired after all the excitement of the BB5 final
*Ferg, the show's exec producer is in trouble with Chris after 2 cabs turned up for him in the morning, which was very awkward...
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8246">> Monday August 9th 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
