chrismoyles.net
- Mon Aug 16, 2004 2:01 pm
#241990
1. Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Twista feat Anthony Hamilton - Sunshine, 3. The White Stripes - 7 Nation Army, 4. Joss Stone - You Had Me, 5. BUZZ OFF - Sub Sub feat Melanie Williams - Ain't No Love (Ain't No Use), 6. Razorlight - Golden Touch 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Destiny’s Child - Independent Women, 8. Franz Ferdinand - Michael, 9. 3 Of A Kind - Baby Cakes 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Nelly Furtado - Powerless, 11. The 411 - Dumb, 12. Kanye West - Jesus Walks, 13. Damien Rice - Cannonball, 14. Javine - Don't Walk Away 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. U2 - Elevation (Tomb Raider Mix), 16. D12 - How Come, 17. Maroon 5 - This Love, 18. Jamelia - See It In A Boy's Eyes, 19. James - Born Of Frustration (Tedious Link), 20. Scent - Up & Down, 21. The Killers - All These Things That I've Done, 22. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 24. Outkast - Ms Jackson, 25. Lostprophets - Last Summer
I think Chris was a bit harsh on himself when he said he’d only give today’s show 3/10. I mean I’d have given it at least a 4 *ber dum cha*...we’re off and running people. Apart from the excellent first half hour and a couple of funny links after 9 o’clock, it never really got going this morning...i.e it was borderline rubbish. Maybe I’m being a bit harsh there though. Ah screw it, who cares. Unsurprisingly Moyles began with another Chuckle Brothers ChuckleVision montage, predicted just a quarter of an hour earlier by JK and Joel themselves. They said no doubt they’d hear the same old “to me, to you”, “chuckle chuckle vision” and Dick and Dom references again at 6:55 (bing - correct). JK also said that Dave is the real talent on The Chris Moyles Show, only because he doesn’t pick on them like Chris does. Joel suggested going down to Broadcasting House and filling out one of them sheets in Human Resources, telling the nasty fat man to stop bullying them. JK warned Chris that it would be on his desk tomorrow morning, along with his P45...
Joel - It’ll be Comedy Dave and Juliette in the morning
(JK laughs - hits Scissor Sisters vocals)
I’ve not heard much of JK and Joel on Radio One so far - that’s due to me either being asleep, at work or at the football (don’t get me started on that though - 3 hours to Grimsby on Saturday for bloody nothing). A lot of the feedback on them seems to have been mixed, but judging by what I heard of them this morning they’re doing fine. Chris wasn’t standing for any of this bullying crap though, calling them Barry Chuckle and Keith Chegwin and also saying that they can fill out as many forms they like...it won’t make a difference. The Power Of The Moyles. JK and Joel will return tomorrow at the comedy time of 4am, this as Radio One’s great throw a six to start schedule continues. I say that cos it’s all change again today. Remember Wes and Jo Whiley are on holiday (not together I must add), so JK and Joel are filling in for Nemone while she covers Jo’s lunchtime slot. However, Nemone is at a wedding today so has taken the day off - meaning that virtually by default Edith is now on the 10-1 shift...leaving motormouth Murray on his own from 1pm. In other words, Radio One are running out of available daytime DJ’s. I say stick Westwood on in mid morning if they’re short, it would be a hell of an experience hearing him blasting off to the new one by McFly and “checking out” the days entertainment news with Briggy. I think that’d be genius. With all the line up changes going on around him left, right and centre, Chris was actually wondering if he was on the air today...
Chris - In fact have you even checked the schedule to find out if we’re on this morning?
Dave - We are on today I think..
They were, and off to a blinder in the first half hour. Chris had got his hands on a copy of this weeks Aerial, which is (as long term listeners will know from the days of Greyhead) the BBC’s internal newspaper. In there he spotted a section where Fiona Bruce was giving out some tips on the art of newsreading. I don’t wish to be patronising but if you don’t know who she is, she’s that one off of Real Story, Crimewatch, Call My Bluff and (obviously) BBC News. She talks in the piece about how reading the news to 5 million people is a highly defined skill. Chris said Dom wouldn’t know, as he reads to 7. That’s million you understand, he isn’t Becky Jago or whoever reads Pete and Geoff's news on Virgin for christ sake. In the piece was a real BBC news script and Chris thought it’d be a good idea for the team to have a go at reading it out in turn. That includes Dom btw, who said it’s always nice to re apply for your own position. Cue the authoritative news music and Comedy Dave first up in the hot seat. On his first attempt he was too bright and breezy with the story (sounding like he was having a chat about a pint/packet of pork scratchings), second time around he was still too high...and third time round, well he spoke in some hilariously funny deep Lloyd Grossman type voice. Chris took the piss and asked him where the hell that’d come from. However..
Chris - I must admit you sound better than the weekend readers
Dom was next up and sounding good, although obviously not to Chris who called him crap. His own effort was predictably loud and over the top, and subsequently it didn’t go down too well with Juliette in Athens. Chris said he hopes she chokes on her tarramasalata. A nice touch I think, showing that he still cares. This morning’s Buzz Off tune was the 1993 number 3 hit Ain't No Love (Ain't No Use) by Sub Sub and Melanie Williams, aka The Doves. Dave was first to buzz on 1:56, saying it was good but not exceptional. Rach and jazz hands Aled followed after it ended on 2:45, with 63.5% of the listeners (just a rough estimate) buzzing it on as well. Chris said seen as though Dave wasn’t that keen on Sub Sub, maybe he’d like this track from his 1993 CD compilation *plays Go West by The Pet Shop Boys*. Aled was loving it, but Dave certainly wasn’t. He said he hates that song.
Dave - Do you know, The Pet Shop Boys are one of the very few bands who I can honestly say I’ve hated everything they’ve ever done...and that’s rare
(Chris and Aled laugh)
MARK GOODIER’S CHART TRIVIA AND DOM BAGS A BARGAIN:
(just needs the *ting* in the teeth don’t it?)
Pop a doodle do indeed. Janet Peacock from Braintree had sent in a book that she’d bought for 99p the other week. She said as soon as she saw it she’d thought of Chris and Dave - it was Mark Goodier’s Chart Trivia Quiz Book from 1991. Throughout the morning Chris tested the team on stuff in the book. At first this included questions on The Inspiral Carpets, KLF, Happy Mondays, Soho and EMF, one of whom Chris found out was called Milf (cue the giggles). Dave said it’s probably short for Milfred. Somehow or other the topic of conversation got round to Ronnie Corbett, who Chris started impersonating badly. However it should be said his impression was far superior to that of Mr Dominic Byrne, who had come running in claiming it to be one of his best. It sounded more like Harold Bishop. Never mind Dom’s impression though, Chris was loving the fact that he had adjusted his invisible glasses.
Dave - Cutting edge radio for the youth of Britain
Dom proceeded to showcase some more of his impressions, which (as I mentioned last week) are usually brilliant. This was the case with his Michael Barrymore one, although his Big Bird needs some work. Just to clarify, by that I mean his impression of the yellow thing from Sesame Street - not anything else. Thanks. Next up in the Mark Goodier Chart Trivia Quiz Book was the “Pick and Mix - Name That Tune” section. The clues were dreadful and heavy on the cheese factor, linking to songs by Billy Joel, Holly Johnson, Aswad, Dire Straits, Toto, Lisa Stansfield, Natalie Cole, Diana Ross, Luther Vandross, James Brown, Mica Paris and Terence Trent D’Arby. And no I hadn’t re tuned to Century by accident.
NAME THAT TUNE:>>>
Chris - Motorhead’s favourite playing card?
Dave - Ace Of Spades?
Chris - No, it’s the 3 of Diamonds
Dave - Oh right OK
Dominic had a bit of an audio treat for everyone at 8:15 this morning. Over the weekend him, Nic and Fin had been travelling over to his parents and (as you do) stopped off at a garage to fuel up. Then (as you do) Dom saw the £2.99 “Summer Party Album” cassette in front of a backdrop on the counter...and bought it. He called it a steal, value for money and a present for his cars underused cassette player. It apparently had “20 good time party anthems” on there, including Come On Eileen, Ooh Aah... Just A Little Bit and the legendary Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham! (never forget that exclamation mark). The cassette audio had obviously been transferred onto mini disc and Chris played out the intro to Wake Me Up Before You Go Go...which wasn’t the original. It was like a folk cover version and sung by some bloke and (by the sounds of it) a random school choir. Dreadful. Basically the cassette was a compilation of covers, saying in the small print “all tracks performed by Highway East”. Dave suggested the team get them in as the shows house band. Other awful Highway East covers showcased today were The Locomotion and Saturday Night by Whigfield, where in both cases the originals are bad enough. Chris said the kids singing Abba in his hotel at Alton Towers on Saturday were much better. The album was shockingly only released last year and should be available in garages everywhere now. Hmm, I can see the queues already..
THE LOADED LAFTAS, NATIONAL CLEAVAGE WEEK AND STARS IN THEIR EYES:>>>
Yep, it’s that time of the year again - Loaded Lafta time. Last year Chris won “Funniest DJ” and him, Dave, Will and Rach (can’t remember if Aled went) all attended the big bash in London town. If you are as sad as me you’ll have known the story from last year before Chris re told it. It was basically all about Rach stealing Lee Ryan from Blue’s award and Dave writing “feed cat” and “ring mum” on his hands in a Chris Martin stylee, foolishly thinking it was some kind of Brits-esque bash. The options this year include Funniest Man/Woman Of The Year (obviously Nadia), Funniest Double Act (which Chris wants to win...but not with Dave) and Funniest DJ. It’ll probably be Moyles Versus Vaughan in that final category, and Dave also suggested Johnny and Denise as “Funniest Double Act” for the hilarious Passport To Paradise. Granted not for the right reasons. To vote it’s simple, just click here and fill out the form (you don’t even need to fill all of it in). It’s probably not escaped your attention that both The Sun and The Daily Star are running with stuff on national cleavage week today, which got Chris thinking...or rather staring. To celebrate national cleavage week he wants to get a picture of Aled with a load of bikini clad page 3 top heavy lovelies. Moyles added that perhaps Aled could show off his cleavage too - his hairy arse cleavage. This surely begs the question how does Chris know it’s hairy? (good mornin) but we won’t dwell on that thankfully. Moyles branded Aled a sexist pig for saying off the air that it’d be a good idea for gorgeous female listeners to e-mail across pics of there cleavage to [url=mailto:[email protected]]mailto:[email protected][/url]. He really does bring it down to base level doesn’t he...
Chris - That’s [url=mailto:[email protected]]mailto:[email protected][/url]..
Dave - Aled’s knocker crackers
(Chris laughs)
A discussion on The Killers after 9 o’clock suddenly diverted to the subject of Stars In Their Eyes (god knows how). Chris said all those people that go on the kids version as Bill Haley or whoever should shut up and go back to school as they’ve never heard of him. Chris said he’d love to go on though, on a Celebrity version or whatever. He added that Matthew Kelly would probably refuse to have him on though, as he doesn’t like him very much. This after the time Chris and Dave interviewed him and he thought they were rude and juvenile. A bit harsh as Chris had only asked him whether he ever considered telling some of the eejits that go on there the truth after their performances, and saying they were utter garbage. I vaguely remember them interviewing him over the phone once, a good few years back mind you (am I right? e-mail me if you can remember). I may be wrong but I don’t think Kelly presents the show at all anymore. I presume Cat Deeley will take over the adult show too. Ah there’s six words I’d like to hear in a sentence more often - Cat Deeley, adult show, take over. Chris said he’d do Queen A Kind Of Magic on there obviously (not Meatloaf to those on the text). Rach said her and Dave could do their Bill Medley/Jennifer Warnes duet again on there, although this time try and sing the right parts and not each others lines. Dave said his all time favourite Stars In Their Eyes memory is still seeing some white guy on there trying to be Bob Marley.
EUROCRAP, KARATE KID DAVE AND THIS WEEKS OFFICIAL TOP TEN:>>>>
Chris controversially ditched Senor Coconut just ahead of half time today for a bit of I Am by the Army Of Lovers. His record of the week in 1993. Uh huh, never heard of it either. It’s early 90’s europap basically. Dave again referred to Chris’s musical taste as tragic, saying that the Army Of Lovers were a dreadful band who should never be played on Radio One ever again. Rach said she’d never heard of them...
Dave - They were European so hence they had no real musical talent
(all laugh)
Aled - Dave!!!
Rach - Sweeping statements after 9...(laughs)
I’m with Dave on this one though. Most pop music from Europe (ourselves not included) is total bilge, for example Ace Of Base and Abba to name just two. Aled sounded outraged by Dave insulting Abba but let’s face it they had just one good song - Dancing Queen. The rest are total rollocks (and we’re not talking oars here people).
Chris - Morning Alex, Chris and Surita....the heads of the music team
(Dave laughs)
Chris said they’d be annoyed that he was playing rubbish again, as it’s rubbish that’s not on the list of rubbish they give him to play. I mean how big headed is Chris - they give him a whole pile of rubbish records to play and then he goes and chooses his own. The shock jock...
Chris - Man, how did this radio station ever survive without me? really...
(Rachel bursts out laughing)
Dave said each day is now just an opportunity for Chris to showcase even more dreadful records from his horrendous personal collection. Today’s was Baby Got Back by Sir Mix A Lot, i.e the “I like big butts and I cannot lie” song. Chris impersonated the intro in his Friends type gay voice...
Chris (coughs and lowers tone) - Back to the argument about who’s the campest on the show...
(Aled and Rach laugh)
Chris - ...I think we have a new winner everybody...good mornin
Dave - There was never any doubt
Chris said speaking of big butts, big butt Bowman was on from ten this morning. Cue the audible screams of “Oi!!!” from Edith through the glass. Lovely. Juliette told Chris she was by the pool with one of his biggest fans on Friday - Mr Harry Gration. That’s him off of Look North in Yorkshire, The BBC2 Rugby League Coverage across the north, BBC Radio Five Live...and for this tournament the judo coverage on telly. Sticking loosely with the theme of Judo, Dave said he once went to a karate lesson but got cramp in his left foot, didn’t like it much and found it extremely uncomfortable. He never went again. Tra la la camp man. Dave said he was very disappointed y’know as he’d bought all the gear - the white pyjamas and stuff. Dom admitted that he too trained in martial arts - he had six weeks of judo lessons as a kid. Chris asked him to show them a move but he said he couldn't, all they ever did was fall over.
Jules - Why don’t Dom and Dave have a fight in the studio?
Chris - Because Dave only went to one lesson and got cramp and Dominic only knows how to fall over!!!
(Dom, Rach and Dave laugh)
THIS WEEKS TOP TEN
10 (-) Kasabian - LSF (Never heard it but they’re supposed to be good)
9 (6) D12 - How Come (Still good)
8 (5) Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending (Good but getting ruined by airplay overload)
7 (3) Shapeshifters - Lola’s Theme (Likewise)
6 (4) Anastacia - Sick and Tired (Still yet to hear this)
5 (-) V - Hip To Hip/Can You Feel It (what the f*ck?)
4 (2) The Streets - Dry Your Eyes (chav scum)
3 (1) Busted - Thunderbirds Are Go (ruuubish)
2 (-) The Libertines - Can’t Stand Me Now (top tune)
1 (-) 3 Of A Kind - Baby Cakes (poor but they’re gonna be huge)
Chris - Especially their next song..
Dave - It’s called jaffa cakes
(Chris laughs)
TEAM FOOTY ROUND UP: WEEK 2>>>
Chris - Leeds drew 0-0 with Wolves in The Coca Cola Championship
Dave - Everton got thrashed 4-1 by Arsenal in The Barclays Premiership
Dom - Liverpool drew 1-1 at Spurs in The Barclays Premiership
Jules - Port Vale beat Hull 3-2 in Coca Cola League 1
Rachel - Kidderminster beat Darlington 1-0 in Coca Cola League 2
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
JOHN who works for Jacksons Timber Merchants in Barrow-in-Furness 2
DOM a now bald Leeds Uni student from Henley-on-Thames 0
Daves Tedious Link
S’Express Theme From S’Express - Express is a word associated with dairies - Dairies produce milk with the use of milking apparatus and cows - Cows are one of the only animals to have three stomachs - Stomachs can ache, as can heads - Heads is the opposite of tails - Tales of a different type were told by Chaucer - Chaucer rhymes with saucer, which is something you’d put under a cup - A cup is something you’d find on a bra, as is a strap - The word “strap” shares many of the same letters as the word “strop”, which is similar to a tantrum - Tantrum shares the same word beginning as tantric, which I think is something to do with yoga and is what allows Sting to have sex for ten hours or something - Ten hours is about the length of time it takes to fly to America - America was discovered by Mr Christopher Columbus - Christopher Columbus shares the same christian name and initials as Christopher Cross, who ironically had a hit with Sailing - Sailing is obviously dependent on wind - and when there’s no wind you can’t sail and have to just sit there in the doldrums, which can be very frustrating - and when you think of frustration in the context of great records by the band James, you think of Born Of Frustration by James - Which incredibly links us to James and Born Of Frustration
*(Don’t forget for Tedious Link release dates, chart positions and track info - just visit the Tedious Links section of the site that I update daily)
MOYLES AT THE LEEDS FESTIVAL
Yet to be officially confirmed but I think the show will be coming live from Leeds a week on Friday (August 27th). This for the Reading and Leeds Festival, and the reason I presume they’ll be live on the Friday is that the following Monday is August Bank Holiday. And we all know what bank holidays really mean in the world of radio - breakfast disc jockey holiday. Mark my words it'll be Wes at 7 that morning.
MINI MOYLES UPDATE:>>> (thanks to Jono for e-mailing it to me)
- Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor will be on the air tomorrow after 9 o’clock (as mentioned in last Friday’s review)
- Rach, Dave and Chris are off to see their new film “Dodgeball” today
- Remember during the last trip to see a film Dave, Jocelyn and Aled all fell asleep...the team have money on Dave snoozing again today
- Chris has had to move his training appointment so he could see the movie and he is taking advantage of this by scoffing some more jaffa cakes
- Dom's choosing paint for his lounge and Dave's moved onto skirting boards in his new flat
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8277">> Monday August 16th 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
I think Chris was a bit harsh on himself when he said he’d only give today’s show 3/10. I mean I’d have given it at least a 4 *ber dum cha*...we’re off and running people. Apart from the excellent first half hour and a couple of funny links after 9 o’clock, it never really got going this morning...i.e it was borderline rubbish. Maybe I’m being a bit harsh there though. Ah screw it, who cares. Unsurprisingly Moyles began with another Chuckle Brothers ChuckleVision montage, predicted just a quarter of an hour earlier by JK and Joel themselves. They said no doubt they’d hear the same old “to me, to you”, “chuckle chuckle vision” and Dick and Dom references again at 6:55 (bing - correct). JK also said that Dave is the real talent on The Chris Moyles Show, only because he doesn’t pick on them like Chris does. Joel suggested going down to Broadcasting House and filling out one of them sheets in Human Resources, telling the nasty fat man to stop bullying them. JK warned Chris that it would be on his desk tomorrow morning, along with his P45...
Joel - It’ll be Comedy Dave and Juliette in the morning
(JK laughs - hits Scissor Sisters vocals)
I’ve not heard much of JK and Joel on Radio One so far - that’s due to me either being asleep, at work or at the football (don’t get me started on that though - 3 hours to Grimsby on Saturday for bloody nothing). A lot of the feedback on them seems to have been mixed, but judging by what I heard of them this morning they’re doing fine. Chris wasn’t standing for any of this bullying crap though, calling them Barry Chuckle and Keith Chegwin and also saying that they can fill out as many forms they like...it won’t make a difference. The Power Of The Moyles. JK and Joel will return tomorrow at the comedy time of 4am, this as Radio One’s great throw a six to start schedule continues. I say that cos it’s all change again today. Remember Wes and Jo Whiley are on holiday (not together I must add), so JK and Joel are filling in for Nemone while she covers Jo’s lunchtime slot. However, Nemone is at a wedding today so has taken the day off - meaning that virtually by default Edith is now on the 10-1 shift...leaving motormouth Murray on his own from 1pm. In other words, Radio One are running out of available daytime DJ’s. I say stick Westwood on in mid morning if they’re short, it would be a hell of an experience hearing him blasting off to the new one by McFly and “checking out” the days entertainment news with Briggy. I think that’d be genius. With all the line up changes going on around him left, right and centre, Chris was actually wondering if he was on the air today...
Chris - In fact have you even checked the schedule to find out if we’re on this morning?
Dave - We are on today I think..
They were, and off to a blinder in the first half hour. Chris had got his hands on a copy of this weeks Aerial, which is (as long term listeners will know from the days of Greyhead) the BBC’s internal newspaper. In there he spotted a section where Fiona Bruce was giving out some tips on the art of newsreading. I don’t wish to be patronising but if you don’t know who she is, she’s that one off of Real Story, Crimewatch, Call My Bluff and (obviously) BBC News. She talks in the piece about how reading the news to 5 million people is a highly defined skill. Chris said Dom wouldn’t know, as he reads to 7. That’s million you understand, he isn’t Becky Jago or whoever reads Pete and Geoff's news on Virgin for christ sake. In the piece was a real BBC news script and Chris thought it’d be a good idea for the team to have a go at reading it out in turn. That includes Dom btw, who said it’s always nice to re apply for your own position. Cue the authoritative news music and Comedy Dave first up in the hot seat. On his first attempt he was too bright and breezy with the story (sounding like he was having a chat about a pint/packet of pork scratchings), second time around he was still too high...and third time round, well he spoke in some hilariously funny deep Lloyd Grossman type voice. Chris took the piss and asked him where the hell that’d come from. However..
Chris - I must admit you sound better than the weekend readers
Dom was next up and sounding good, although obviously not to Chris who called him crap. His own effort was predictably loud and over the top, and subsequently it didn’t go down too well with Juliette in Athens. Chris said he hopes she chokes on her tarramasalata. A nice touch I think, showing that he still cares. This morning’s Buzz Off tune was the 1993 number 3 hit Ain't No Love (Ain't No Use) by Sub Sub and Melanie Williams, aka The Doves. Dave was first to buzz on 1:56, saying it was good but not exceptional. Rach and jazz hands Aled followed after it ended on 2:45, with 63.5% of the listeners (just a rough estimate) buzzing it on as well. Chris said seen as though Dave wasn’t that keen on Sub Sub, maybe he’d like this track from his 1993 CD compilation *plays Go West by The Pet Shop Boys*. Aled was loving it, but Dave certainly wasn’t. He said he hates that song.
Dave - Do you know, The Pet Shop Boys are one of the very few bands who I can honestly say I’ve hated everything they’ve ever done...and that’s rare
(Chris and Aled laugh)
MARK GOODIER’S CHART TRIVIA AND DOM BAGS A BARGAIN:
(just needs the *ting* in the teeth don’t it?)
Pop a doodle do indeed. Janet Peacock from Braintree had sent in a book that she’d bought for 99p the other week. She said as soon as she saw it she’d thought of Chris and Dave - it was Mark Goodier’s Chart Trivia Quiz Book from 1991. Throughout the morning Chris tested the team on stuff in the book. At first this included questions on The Inspiral Carpets, KLF, Happy Mondays, Soho and EMF, one of whom Chris found out was called Milf (cue the giggles). Dave said it’s probably short for Milfred. Somehow or other the topic of conversation got round to Ronnie Corbett, who Chris started impersonating badly. However it should be said his impression was far superior to that of Mr Dominic Byrne, who had come running in claiming it to be one of his best. It sounded more like Harold Bishop. Never mind Dom’s impression though, Chris was loving the fact that he had adjusted his invisible glasses.
Dave - Cutting edge radio for the youth of Britain
Dom proceeded to showcase some more of his impressions, which (as I mentioned last week) are usually brilliant. This was the case with his Michael Barrymore one, although his Big Bird needs some work. Just to clarify, by that I mean his impression of the yellow thing from Sesame Street - not anything else. Thanks. Next up in the Mark Goodier Chart Trivia Quiz Book was the “Pick and Mix - Name That Tune” section. The clues were dreadful and heavy on the cheese factor, linking to songs by Billy Joel, Holly Johnson, Aswad, Dire Straits, Toto, Lisa Stansfield, Natalie Cole, Diana Ross, Luther Vandross, James Brown, Mica Paris and Terence Trent D’Arby. And no I hadn’t re tuned to Century by accident.
NAME THAT TUNE:>>>
Chris - Motorhead’s favourite playing card?
Dave - Ace Of Spades?
Chris - No, it’s the 3 of Diamonds
Dave - Oh right OK
Dominic had a bit of an audio treat for everyone at 8:15 this morning. Over the weekend him, Nic and Fin had been travelling over to his parents and (as you do) stopped off at a garage to fuel up. Then (as you do) Dom saw the £2.99 “Summer Party Album” cassette in front of a backdrop on the counter...and bought it. He called it a steal, value for money and a present for his cars underused cassette player. It apparently had “20 good time party anthems” on there, including Come On Eileen, Ooh Aah... Just A Little Bit and the legendary Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham! (never forget that exclamation mark). The cassette audio had obviously been transferred onto mini disc and Chris played out the intro to Wake Me Up Before You Go Go...which wasn’t the original. It was like a folk cover version and sung by some bloke and (by the sounds of it) a random school choir. Dreadful. Basically the cassette was a compilation of covers, saying in the small print “all tracks performed by Highway East”. Dave suggested the team get them in as the shows house band. Other awful Highway East covers showcased today were The Locomotion and Saturday Night by Whigfield, where in both cases the originals are bad enough. Chris said the kids singing Abba in his hotel at Alton Towers on Saturday were much better. The album was shockingly only released last year and should be available in garages everywhere now. Hmm, I can see the queues already..
THE LOADED LAFTAS, NATIONAL CLEAVAGE WEEK AND STARS IN THEIR EYES:>>>
Yep, it’s that time of the year again - Loaded Lafta time. Last year Chris won “Funniest DJ” and him, Dave, Will and Rach (can’t remember if Aled went) all attended the big bash in London town. If you are as sad as me you’ll have known the story from last year before Chris re told it. It was basically all about Rach stealing Lee Ryan from Blue’s award and Dave writing “feed cat” and “ring mum” on his hands in a Chris Martin stylee, foolishly thinking it was some kind of Brits-esque bash. The options this year include Funniest Man/Woman Of The Year (obviously Nadia), Funniest Double Act (which Chris wants to win...but not with Dave) and Funniest DJ. It’ll probably be Moyles Versus Vaughan in that final category, and Dave also suggested Johnny and Denise as “Funniest Double Act” for the hilarious Passport To Paradise. Granted not for the right reasons. To vote it’s simple, just click here and fill out the form (you don’t even need to fill all of it in). It’s probably not escaped your attention that both The Sun and The Daily Star are running with stuff on national cleavage week today, which got Chris thinking...or rather staring. To celebrate national cleavage week he wants to get a picture of Aled with a load of bikini clad page 3 top heavy lovelies. Moyles added that perhaps Aled could show off his cleavage too - his hairy arse cleavage. This surely begs the question how does Chris know it’s hairy? (good mornin) but we won’t dwell on that thankfully. Moyles branded Aled a sexist pig for saying off the air that it’d be a good idea for gorgeous female listeners to e-mail across pics of there cleavage to [url=mailto:[email protected]]mailto:[email protected][/url]. He really does bring it down to base level doesn’t he...
Chris - That’s [url=mailto:[email protected]]mailto:[email protected][/url]..
Dave - Aled’s knocker crackers
(Chris laughs)
A discussion on The Killers after 9 o’clock suddenly diverted to the subject of Stars In Their Eyes (god knows how). Chris said all those people that go on the kids version as Bill Haley or whoever should shut up and go back to school as they’ve never heard of him. Chris said he’d love to go on though, on a Celebrity version or whatever. He added that Matthew Kelly would probably refuse to have him on though, as he doesn’t like him very much. This after the time Chris and Dave interviewed him and he thought they were rude and juvenile. A bit harsh as Chris had only asked him whether he ever considered telling some of the eejits that go on there the truth after their performances, and saying they were utter garbage. I vaguely remember them interviewing him over the phone once, a good few years back mind you (am I right? e-mail me if you can remember). I may be wrong but I don’t think Kelly presents the show at all anymore. I presume Cat Deeley will take over the adult show too. Ah there’s six words I’d like to hear in a sentence more often - Cat Deeley, adult show, take over. Chris said he’d do Queen A Kind Of Magic on there obviously (not Meatloaf to those on the text). Rach said her and Dave could do their Bill Medley/Jennifer Warnes duet again on there, although this time try and sing the right parts and not each others lines. Dave said his all time favourite Stars In Their Eyes memory is still seeing some white guy on there trying to be Bob Marley.
EUROCRAP, KARATE KID DAVE AND THIS WEEKS OFFICIAL TOP TEN:>>>>
Chris controversially ditched Senor Coconut just ahead of half time today for a bit of I Am by the Army Of Lovers. His record of the week in 1993. Uh huh, never heard of it either. It’s early 90’s europap basically. Dave again referred to Chris’s musical taste as tragic, saying that the Army Of Lovers were a dreadful band who should never be played on Radio One ever again. Rach said she’d never heard of them...
Dave - They were European so hence they had no real musical talent
(all laugh)
Aled - Dave!!!
Rach - Sweeping statements after 9...(laughs)
I’m with Dave on this one though. Most pop music from Europe (ourselves not included) is total bilge, for example Ace Of Base and Abba to name just two. Aled sounded outraged by Dave insulting Abba but let’s face it they had just one good song - Dancing Queen. The rest are total rollocks (and we’re not talking oars here people).
Chris - Morning Alex, Chris and Surita....the heads of the music team
(Dave laughs)
Chris said they’d be annoyed that he was playing rubbish again, as it’s rubbish that’s not on the list of rubbish they give him to play. I mean how big headed is Chris - they give him a whole pile of rubbish records to play and then he goes and chooses his own. The shock jock...
Chris - Man, how did this radio station ever survive without me? really...
(Rachel bursts out laughing)
Dave said each day is now just an opportunity for Chris to showcase even more dreadful records from his horrendous personal collection. Today’s was Baby Got Back by Sir Mix A Lot, i.e the “I like big butts and I cannot lie” song. Chris impersonated the intro in his Friends type gay voice...
Chris (coughs and lowers tone) - Back to the argument about who’s the campest on the show...
(Aled and Rach laugh)
Chris - ...I think we have a new winner everybody...good mornin
Dave - There was never any doubt
Chris said speaking of big butts, big butt Bowman was on from ten this morning. Cue the audible screams of “Oi!!!” from Edith through the glass. Lovely. Juliette told Chris she was by the pool with one of his biggest fans on Friday - Mr Harry Gration. That’s him off of Look North in Yorkshire, The BBC2 Rugby League Coverage across the north, BBC Radio Five Live...and for this tournament the judo coverage on telly. Sticking loosely with the theme of Judo, Dave said he once went to a karate lesson but got cramp in his left foot, didn’t like it much and found it extremely uncomfortable. He never went again. Tra la la camp man. Dave said he was very disappointed y’know as he’d bought all the gear - the white pyjamas and stuff. Dom admitted that he too trained in martial arts - he had six weeks of judo lessons as a kid. Chris asked him to show them a move but he said he couldn't, all they ever did was fall over.
Jules - Why don’t Dom and Dave have a fight in the studio?
Chris - Because Dave only went to one lesson and got cramp and Dominic only knows how to fall over!!!
(Dom, Rach and Dave laugh)
THIS WEEKS TOP TEN
10 (-) Kasabian - LSF (Never heard it but they’re supposed to be good)
9 (6) D12 - How Come (Still good)
8 (5) Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending (Good but getting ruined by airplay overload)
7 (3) Shapeshifters - Lola’s Theme (Likewise)
6 (4) Anastacia - Sick and Tired (Still yet to hear this)
5 (-) V - Hip To Hip/Can You Feel It (what the f*ck?)
4 (2) The Streets - Dry Your Eyes (chav scum)
3 (1) Busted - Thunderbirds Are Go (ruuubish)
2 (-) The Libertines - Can’t Stand Me Now (top tune)
1 (-) 3 Of A Kind - Baby Cakes (poor but they’re gonna be huge)
Chris - Especially their next song..
Dave - It’s called jaffa cakes
(Chris laughs)
TEAM FOOTY ROUND UP: WEEK 2>>>
Chris - Leeds drew 0-0 with Wolves in The Coca Cola Championship
Dave - Everton got thrashed 4-1 by Arsenal in The Barclays Premiership
Dom - Liverpool drew 1-1 at Spurs in The Barclays Premiership
Jules - Port Vale beat Hull 3-2 in Coca Cola League 1
Rachel - Kidderminster beat Darlington 1-0 in Coca Cola League 2
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
JOHN who works for Jacksons Timber Merchants in Barrow-in-Furness 2
DOM a now bald Leeds Uni student from Henley-on-Thames 0
Daves Tedious Link
S’Express Theme From S’Express - Express is a word associated with dairies - Dairies produce milk with the use of milking apparatus and cows - Cows are one of the only animals to have three stomachs - Stomachs can ache, as can heads - Heads is the opposite of tails - Tales of a different type were told by Chaucer - Chaucer rhymes with saucer, which is something you’d put under a cup - A cup is something you’d find on a bra, as is a strap - The word “strap” shares many of the same letters as the word “strop”, which is similar to a tantrum - Tantrum shares the same word beginning as tantric, which I think is something to do with yoga and is what allows Sting to have sex for ten hours or something - Ten hours is about the length of time it takes to fly to America - America was discovered by Mr Christopher Columbus - Christopher Columbus shares the same christian name and initials as Christopher Cross, who ironically had a hit with Sailing - Sailing is obviously dependent on wind - and when there’s no wind you can’t sail and have to just sit there in the doldrums, which can be very frustrating - and when you think of frustration in the context of great records by the band James, you think of Born Of Frustration by James - Which incredibly links us to James and Born Of Frustration
*(Don’t forget for Tedious Link release dates, chart positions and track info - just visit the Tedious Links section of the site that I update daily)
MOYLES AT THE LEEDS FESTIVAL
Yet to be officially confirmed but I think the show will be coming live from Leeds a week on Friday (August 27th). This for the Reading and Leeds Festival, and the reason I presume they’ll be live on the Friday is that the following Monday is August Bank Holiday. And we all know what bank holidays really mean in the world of radio - breakfast disc jockey holiday. Mark my words it'll be Wes at 7 that morning.
MINI MOYLES UPDATE:>>> (thanks to Jono for e-mailing it to me)
- Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor will be on the air tomorrow after 9 o’clock (as mentioned in last Friday’s review)
- Rach, Dave and Chris are off to see their new film “Dodgeball” today
- Remember during the last trip to see a film Dave, Jocelyn and Aled all fell asleep...the team have money on Dave snoozing again today
- Chris has had to move his training appointment so he could see the movie and he is taking advantage of this by scoffing some more jaffa cakes
- Dom's choosing paint for his lounge and Dave's moved onto skirting boards in his new flat
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8277">> Monday August 16th 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
