chrismoyles.net
- Thu Aug 19, 2004 9:00 am
#241993
1. Jamelia - Superstar 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Foo Fighters - All My Life, 3. Jo Jo - Leave (Get Out), 4. The Thrills - Whatever Happened To Corey Haim, 5. BUZZ OFF - J Geils Band - Centerfold, 6. Christina Aguilera feat Redman - Dirrty 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. U2 - Beautiful Day, 8. Twista feat Anthony Hamilton - Sunshine, 9. Joss Stone - You Had Me 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Franz Ferdinand - Michael, 11. Scent - Up & Down, 12. Robbie Williams - Something Beautiful, 13. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. Divine Inspiration - The Way, 15. Mousse T feat Emma Lanford - Is It Cos I'm Cool?, 16. Scissor Sisters - Laura, 17. Tori Amos - Cornflake Girl (Tedious Link), 18. 3 Of A Kind - Baby Cakes, 19. The Music - Freedom Fighters 9:30 NEWSBEAT 20. The Strokes - Last Nite, 21. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words, 22. Kanye West feat Syleena Johnson - All Falls Down
Best show of the week so far this. And I’m not just saying that cos I got a mention....well ok I am. Thanks to Aled, Chris and Dave for bigging me up on my anniversary - and at prime time too. Much appreciated. Aled explained about the reviews page and how he likes to “occasionally take a look” just to see how the show is being received by the audience. Chris and Dave laughed and said he visits here every day, the loser. Nothing wrong with that - providing you're on heavy medication of course. Aled explained to Chris how I’ve listened to every single show over the past year (bar five when I was in Paris). Now that’s dedication for you folks...
(Chris and Dave applaud)
Chris - Not even Will Kinder’s listened to every show we’ve done
(Rach laughs)
Chris will also be pleased to know that I’m not in a grumpy mood today (AS results were good y’see) so I won’t be giving the show one of my "miserable" sarcy write ups...well not intentionally anyway. Proceedings this morning kicked off without the technical trouble of yesterday, as Chris and Dave were actually coming out of both speakers:
Dave - We’re in stereo, how about that!!
(Chris laughs)
With tomorrow their final Early Breakfast (until Nemone and Wes are away again), Chris is finally laying off the JK and Joel bashing. Well the Joel bashing anyway. He said JK still needs to learn the word respect and bow down and kiss the ring. No diggity. Dave pressed him on why Joel is fast becoming his favourite of the two. Chris said it’s cos he has all the talent and creative drive on that show, whereas JK is like your local radio Mike Toolan/Steve Penk character. Funny as all four of them were on the same station up until a couple of months ago (but Chris obviously knows that). In contrast to JK, Moyles said Joel has everything needed to become a big star at Radio One - the strange voice, the messy look and the drink problem.
Dave - It’s a ticket to the top
LAST NIGHT’S TV:>>>>
(Becks scores last night's opener)
A good performance and a great result for England last night then - 3-0 against Ukraine at St James’s. Dave saw it down the pub while Dom and Chris watched it in their respective homes. Moyles was all alone and said he decided to treat himself to a Penguin biscuit at half time. Pushing back those barriers eh. Aled and Dave were impressed that he just had the one Penguin, as they can never resist having another couple afterwards...
Aled - I bite the top off and then eat the middle bit separately
Chris - Are we still talking about the same thing?
Aled - Yeah
Chris - Just checking
Jules however couldn’t get to see the game last night, as it was just blanket wall to wall Olympics coverage on TV in Athens - although womens beach volleyball isn’t all that bad to watch in fairness. Chris, Dave and Dom all discussed the game with Jules, including chat about Kieron Dyer getting bood by his own fans, David Beckham making a return to form, Shaun Wright Phillips spanking in a beauty on debut and then his step dad Ian Wright nearly having a heart attack after it. Now bearing in mind that Chris was all on his own last night and that his Sky Plus gives him access to porn from all around the world, you’d think the last thing he’d want to do would be to watch a Channel 4 medical documentary from earlier in the evening entitled “Men With Breasts”. He did though and just to clarify, he only watched the show and didn’t actually participate in it. Some texts suggested otherwise, saying that they recognised his huge areolas etc. Chris and Dave had to explain to Dom what an aerola is as he didn’t know...
Chris - Jesus you’re married with a child. You should really know about the breast area..
Dom - That’s right
Chris - Right
Dom - mmm hmm
Chris - mmm hmm
(both laugh)
Chris said at least his boy boobs are just filled with lager and not the actual gland of the female breast, as was the case on this show last night. He said that if he was to have liposuction you could probably get a good barrel of Fosters out of there. A lovely image:
Dave - Stick a little pump on each one
Chris - Yeah..(him and Aled laugh)
The part of the show Chris regretted watching the most was the operation, as he thought he’d be intrigued beforehand but just felt plain sick afterwards. Dave said he hates medical stuff like that. Rach asked Chris if the show was like last weeks one (as she was out last night - more on that in a second)...
Dave - What was last week’s show? Women with boobs?
Rach - mmm. “My breasts are too big”
(pause)
Chris - Are they? That’s nice Rachel but we’re trying to talk about the TV show from last night for gods sake (Rach laughs)
Dave - It’s all you, you, you isn’t it?
Chris (laughs) - For gods sake, put your ego and your big breasts away
(Dave and Rach laugh as Chris plays The Thrills)
RACHEL AND ALED @ MADONNA LAST NIGHT:
So last night was Madonna’s big gig in London at Earls Court then. Rach and Aled were there, screaming like Marco from Big Brother and dancing like...well Marco from Big Brother. Greyhead was next to them and even got a bit of a groove on himself by the end. I can’t really picture him dancing like Marco from Big Brother though. Rach was particularly chuffed with their seats last night - just 8 rows from the front. Chris asked how Madge’s encore was. Aled said he didn’t know as he left early to avoid traffic. No I’m not making this up - he really did. It’s his equivalent of a football match (and I hate fans who do that btw). In fact Aled took off in the taxi he was meant to share with Rach later, without even telling her...
Chris - Well played son
Dave - Good work Al
Rach and Aled had two top Guess Whos from last night - Kylie and Dannii Minogue. Sat together just a couple of rows behind Rach and Aled enjoying the gig. Dannii was dancing and Kylie simply nodding her head in time to the beat. That’s what I do. Saves the embarrassment of trying to dance. Chris asked how they were both looking:
Rach - To be honest I couldn’t see anything cos Aled was practically standing on his chair looking
Sounds about right. Earlier in the game Chris had guessed Britney Spears as one of the mystery celebs. That would’ve been too much for Aled to handle though...
Aled - I couldn’t have kept that in
Dave & Chris (laughing) - Well..
(Rach laughs)
Dave - You probably would’ve got thrown out by the security people if you’d done that
(Aled laughs)
Rach said the only negatives from the night were Madonna doing a plain wrong rock cover version of Imagine by John Lennon (any cover version of that song is plain wrong), plus her wearing a “Brits Do It Better” T-Shirt and saying “It’s good to be home”. Rrrr...
Dave - You’re from Detroit love
Chris said he does like Madonna but she is such a backstabber when it comes to us and the yanks. One minute she’s saying “Brits Do It Better” and then the next releasing an album called “American Life”. Dave has actually met Madonna, but as Chris was just starting to tell the story Aled butted in and said he’s worked with her. Well sort of - he was her runner on the Lottery. Chris said that was rubbish compared to Daves story - as he had sex with her. He didn’t - he just cleared away her avocado and served her some red wine...
Chris - Until the police broke into the house and arrested him
(Aled and Dave laugh)
Chris - “Please leave Mr Vitty, you don’t live here”
10 days in now and still no GB golds at the games in Athens. We could get one the board today though - it’s the above pictured Nathan Robertson and Gail Emms against the Chinese pair Jun Zhang and Ling Gao in the mixed doubles Badminton final. I knew that without looking as well *cough*. Jules is convinced we’ll take 3 golds in “her event” (the sailing) on Saturday anyway, especially her mates Ben Ainslie and Iain Percy...
Jules - I’ll be drinking on Saturday if they win
Chris - Shut up, you’ll be drinking on Saturday if they lose!
(Dom, Jules & Dave laugh)
Buzz Off this morning was The J Geils Band with their number 3 February 82 hit Centerfold, which was played in full. The text vote was 75% Buzz On, Rach first to buzz on 2:41, Aled next on 3:27 and Dave last as it faded away on 3:36. Aled said he’d never heard that song before. Dave asked him if he'd never been to any wedding discos. Aled said not really - the only one he’s been to was at Daves own wedding..
Chris - Yeah but his wedding disco wasn’t a normal wedding disco
Aled - I know
Chris - The bride and groom normally don’t dance to the first dance Angry Andersen and Suddenly...
(Dave and Aled laugh)
Chris - ...with two confetti cannons on the drum crescendo
(Dave laughs again)
BACK DOORS, THE V FESTIVAL AND THE TEAM TALK EXAM GRADES:>>>>
With the summer weather still wet and humid, Chris is finding a pattern forming regarding the little thunderstorms over London. He says they start around 5pm and then it just pees and pees it down. He even said he had his back doors open and everything last night (wahey)...
Dave (laughing) - I had my back doors open last night as well
Chris - Did you?
Dave - Yeah
Chris - Did you get wet?
Dave - I didn’t get wet but I had a nice draft through
(Jules and Dom laugh)
Dom said everyone on his road had their back doors open last night (cue more laughs)....
Dom - Have you got your back doors open Jules?
Jules (laughing) - No I’ve got a few doors open though
Chris - What like the front?
(Dave laughs)
Chris said back door gags are very childish when coming from a father and respected journalist such as Dominic. Slaphead denied they were "gags" though, insisting that he really had the back door to his kitchen open yesterday...
Chris - Is your kitchen leaking?
Dom - Yeah it is. We’re getting it done today, hopefully they’ve arrived...good morning to you the roofers
(Chris, Dave and Rach laugh)
Chris saw an advert for Channel 4 and E4’s forthcoming V Festival Coverage last night. It begins on Saturday @ 11:25 with Cat Deeley, Simon Amstell from Pop World and Mr Vermin Kay from Bolton (more with him in a min). Rachel is going as her friend got her tickets, and Chris wanted to know why he hasn’t been invited. He’s not had no calls, no texts, no e-mails...nothing. He suggested him and Dave go for a day at the weekend. Dave said he can’t as it’s his and Emma’s first wedding anniversary...
Dave - I’ve gotta do like romantic stuff which is a pain cos I had tickets for the Palace away game on Saturday
(Chris, Dom and Rach laugh)
Nevertheless, this didn’t stop Chris in his appeal for free VIP tickets, access all areas backstage passes and transport to and from the venue. He’s not fussy y’know. He ran through the line up for this weekend and said he couldn’t believe no one performing hadn’t invited him, as he knows or has connections with them all:
- DIDO (Chris has only ruddy met her)
- THE THRILLS (Chris has met one of them)
- SNOW PATROL (They are mates with Colin Murray, Chris knows Colin Murray)
- KOSHEEN (Chris has met their lead singer Sian Evans)
- MUSE (Chris has never met them but likes them)
**Dom - Matt Bellamy front man of Muse
Chris - That’s right, Craig Bellamy’s brother
Dom - That’s right
Dave - mmm hmm. David Bellamy’s son..
(Dom laughs)**
- THE HUMAN LEAGUE (They’re from Sheffield, Chris is from Leeds - it’s round the corner)
- ELBOW (They were in America with the team 2 years ago, and Chris of course has 2 elbows)
- STARSAILOR (Chris bumped into lead singer James Walsh and his wife on their honeymoon)
- KRISTIAN LEONTIOU (He supposedly loves the show)
- TIM BOOTH (Supports Leeds, knows the team and Chris’s brother is doing his PR)
- LOTTIE (She’s a fellow Radio One DJ and Chris wants to sleep with her cos she’s fit)
- THE DIVINE COMEDY (Chris and Dave have played Jenga at Neil Hannon’s house)
- ATHLETE (Had them in the Live Lounge so to speak)
- PINK (Her and The Moyles get on like a house on fire)
- FAITHLESS (They came to Daves birthday party in Derry)
- JAMIE CULLUM (Met him at The Brits)
- BADLY DRAWN BOY (Drew Chris and Dave a horse last time he was on the show)
**Dave - I hadn’t realised how hugely influential we are..**
Today then was AS/A Level Results Day - as suitable time as any for the team to discuss their past exams. Dave did A levels and got CCD in them, but didn’t get high enough grades to get into a proper uni on the course he wanted. Therefore he took up Media Studies and Business Management at North Cheshire College...
Chris - Did that help you with Dave Vitty Management, your management company?
(Rach laughs)
Unfortunately Dave ballsed up both Media and Business courses in year one though so had to go back for August Summer School. Rach got BCC in her A levels (History, Combined Eng Lit & Lang and Home Ec). She then did a degree in radio production at uni. Aled (like Chris) didn’t do either A levels or a degree - instead choosing to go down the work experience route at 16. Dom said he screwed up big time in his French, English and Politics A levels - getting DEE. That the most surprising news of the whole lot for me. So on results day here were the team (without an A between them) basically proving that you don’t need to get the top results to get the top jobs. Good grades do help at first, but pics of Parf Daddy down at the farm are always just as much use when it comes to contract renewal..
VERNON GOES BACK HOME:
So an hour later than billed (blame BBC transport), Vernon and Anna The Nutcracker (don’t ask) were live via ISDN to Chris and the team from Bolton Sixth Form College - not a million miles away from me and incidentally where Vernon used to work as a cleaner. That was after he left Uni, couldn’t get a job and worked for Bolton Council. It wasn’t where he went to college though - that was in Wigan (he took French and Geography at A Level and got a D and a U). After the England game he was out at The Living Room in town last night, so was subsequently sounding as rough as a buzzards crutch this morning. He perked up once the BEN (Bolton Evening News) turned up though as he said he’s after his third time front cover today. And he got it - I saw one this afternoon. The reason Vermin had gone back home was of course to open exam results with some of the students at Bolton Sixth Form College, which is apparently a Radio One Breakfast Show tradition...
Chris - We do it every year and it’s really good fun...he says, ticking that box
(Dave laughs)
After Chris and Dave stopped for 3 or 4 minutes of genius Wogan and Ken Bruce impersonating (including the inevitable Hungary - Starving gag), it was back live to Vernon and the students at about 20 past 9. I just love the fact that Moyles kept them waiting to open the most important results of their lives while he pissed around doing Terry Wogan voices. When they did cross back to Vernon he was with Catherine, who took French, History and English A Levels - needing all three at A grade to go do Law at Oxford. Vernon sounded stunned - yes he was still in Bolton. He was even more stunned when she opened up her results and found out she’d got all A’s. I’ve gotta say fair play for getting an A in French as I’ve just done it at AS level and failed in spectacular fashion. Vernon tried to get Catherine all emotional...
Vernon - All your dreams have come true. You’ve got 3 A’s, you’re gonna get bladdered with all them toffs, you’re gonna learn how to go rowing, you’re gonna play polo and croquet like you’ve never played it before...
(Chris, Dave and assembled crowd laugh)
Next up was some guy called Dan Shuk. Chris was hoping for someone more on their level - i.e looking for three D’s to get on that woodwork course at Huddersfield. Unfortunately (well not for him), Dan got the 2A’s and the B he needed to go study Law at Cambridge. Chris asked what the hell was going on. Where were all the thickos? Vernon said they’ll be out tonight in Bolton Town Centre at Ikon. You betcha they will. Vernon said he was getting flashbacks from a long time ago as he sat around watching people open their results. Cue a great bit where he impersonated his mum asking him what the hell he’d been doing for the past 2 years, and him replying “playing football”. Dave found it very funny but Chris was too busy asking him if that Catherine was fit. His lack of a reply kind of gave a clear answer. Chris ended the link up by again plugging the free One Life advice line on 0808 100 8000, that’s 0808 100 8000.
Chris - It really is there to help you and er, to tick a box when it comes to charter renewal...
(Dave laughs)
(0808 100 8000 or http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife)
THE CHRIS MOYLES SHOW SECRET STUDENT:>>>>
Alright the idea behind this feature is to “sign up” (as it were) a student who is a big fan of the show and off to start uni this September. The show will then supposedly follow them throughout their uni life, trying to get an insight into what it’s really like to be a student. This whilst keeping them and their location completely anonymous to the Radio One listener at all times. However, in return the secret student must vow to tell NO ONE AT ALL that it’s them. Other treats will include free tickets to gigs in London and the chance to come out drinking with the team (especially if you’re a single, hot blonde - but that goes without saying). Chris also said the team would help out if they needed them to - with pizza vouchers or whatever. Dave was thinking more along the lines of helping them with their Maths Homework. Just a reminder that that was Comedy Dave who said that. To register (the student will be picked within a month) just call 08700 100 100 and click onto option 3. You can do it 24 hours a day as it’s a pre recorded message.
- For More On The Chris Moyles Show Secret Student : Click Here
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
BERN an MSc student from Woking 2
UNA just about to collect her A Level Results in Armagh 0
Daves Tedious Link
Stereophonics The Bartender And The Thief - Bartender And The Thief was taken from the album Performance And * - Performance and * are two words that could be applied to the use of anabolic steroids - If you put an A in front of steroids you get asteroids, which can be lethal if you’re unlucky enough to suffer a direct hit - Hits of a different type have been suffered by the general public over the years thanks to Pete Waterman - Pete Waterman likes steam trains - Steam trains were the only form of rail travel prior to the invention of diesel and electric powered locomotives - Locomotives move through the power of locomotion - The Locomotion was a hit for Kylie Minogue - Kylie Minogue is a beautiful creature who is great and small - All Creatures Great And Small is a programme all about vets - Vets tend to do a lot of work on farms - Farms tend to grow crops such as wheat and corn - Corn is a primary ingredient in cornflakes - and when you think of cornflakes in the context of great records from the mid 90’s by a solo female piano based performer you think of Cornflake Girl by Tori Amos - Which links us to Tori Amos and Cornflake Girl
MINI MOYLES UPDATE:>>> (thanks of Jono)
- On Friday’s show there’s the first of the messages from potential “Secret Students” and a chance to win tickets to see West Brom vs Aston Villa
- Chris got a cab home today because of heavy rain - he had planned to walk
- Dave is “planning” for his first wedding anniversary and Aled has a lot of paperwork to do, so he’s taken his laptop home to go do it there
*And Dom’s going home early today to check on the roofing men
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8277">> Thursday 19th August 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
Best show of the week so far this. And I’m not just saying that cos I got a mention....well ok I am. Thanks to Aled, Chris and Dave for bigging me up on my anniversary - and at prime time too. Much appreciated. Aled explained about the reviews page and how he likes to “occasionally take a look” just to see how the show is being received by the audience. Chris and Dave laughed and said he visits here every day, the loser. Nothing wrong with that - providing you're on heavy medication of course. Aled explained to Chris how I’ve listened to every single show over the past year (bar five when I was in Paris). Now that’s dedication for you folks...
(Chris and Dave applaud)
Chris - Not even Will Kinder’s listened to every show we’ve done
(Rach laughs)
Chris will also be pleased to know that I’m not in a grumpy mood today (AS results were good y’see) so I won’t be giving the show one of my "miserable" sarcy write ups...well not intentionally anyway. Proceedings this morning kicked off without the technical trouble of yesterday, as Chris and Dave were actually coming out of both speakers:
Dave - We’re in stereo, how about that!!
(Chris laughs)
With tomorrow their final Early Breakfast (until Nemone and Wes are away again), Chris is finally laying off the JK and Joel bashing. Well the Joel bashing anyway. He said JK still needs to learn the word respect and bow down and kiss the ring. No diggity. Dave pressed him on why Joel is fast becoming his favourite of the two. Chris said it’s cos he has all the talent and creative drive on that show, whereas JK is like your local radio Mike Toolan/Steve Penk character. Funny as all four of them were on the same station up until a couple of months ago (but Chris obviously knows that). In contrast to JK, Moyles said Joel has everything needed to become a big star at Radio One - the strange voice, the messy look and the drink problem.
Dave - It’s a ticket to the top
LAST NIGHT’S TV:>>>>
(Becks scores last night's opener)
A good performance and a great result for England last night then - 3-0 against Ukraine at St James’s. Dave saw it down the pub while Dom and Chris watched it in their respective homes. Moyles was all alone and said he decided to treat himself to a Penguin biscuit at half time. Pushing back those barriers eh. Aled and Dave were impressed that he just had the one Penguin, as they can never resist having another couple afterwards...
Aled - I bite the top off and then eat the middle bit separately
Chris - Are we still talking about the same thing?
Aled - Yeah
Chris - Just checking
Jules however couldn’t get to see the game last night, as it was just blanket wall to wall Olympics coverage on TV in Athens - although womens beach volleyball isn’t all that bad to watch in fairness. Chris, Dave and Dom all discussed the game with Jules, including chat about Kieron Dyer getting bood by his own fans, David Beckham making a return to form, Shaun Wright Phillips spanking in a beauty on debut and then his step dad Ian Wright nearly having a heart attack after it. Now bearing in mind that Chris was all on his own last night and that his Sky Plus gives him access to porn from all around the world, you’d think the last thing he’d want to do would be to watch a Channel 4 medical documentary from earlier in the evening entitled “Men With Breasts”. He did though and just to clarify, he only watched the show and didn’t actually participate in it. Some texts suggested otherwise, saying that they recognised his huge areolas etc. Chris and Dave had to explain to Dom what an aerola is as he didn’t know...
Chris - Jesus you’re married with a child. You should really know about the breast area..
Dom - That’s right
Chris - Right
Dom - mmm hmm
Chris - mmm hmm
(both laugh)
Chris said at least his boy boobs are just filled with lager and not the actual gland of the female breast, as was the case on this show last night. He said that if he was to have liposuction you could probably get a good barrel of Fosters out of there. A lovely image:
Dave - Stick a little pump on each one
Chris - Yeah..(him and Aled laugh)
The part of the show Chris regretted watching the most was the operation, as he thought he’d be intrigued beforehand but just felt plain sick afterwards. Dave said he hates medical stuff like that. Rach asked Chris if the show was like last weeks one (as she was out last night - more on that in a second)...
Dave - What was last week’s show? Women with boobs?
Rach - mmm. “My breasts are too big”
(pause)
Chris - Are they? That’s nice Rachel but we’re trying to talk about the TV show from last night for gods sake (Rach laughs)
Dave - It’s all you, you, you isn’t it?
Chris (laughs) - For gods sake, put your ego and your big breasts away
(Dave and Rach laugh as Chris plays The Thrills)
RACHEL AND ALED @ MADONNA LAST NIGHT:
So last night was Madonna’s big gig in London at Earls Court then. Rach and Aled were there, screaming like Marco from Big Brother and dancing like...well Marco from Big Brother. Greyhead was next to them and even got a bit of a groove on himself by the end. I can’t really picture him dancing like Marco from Big Brother though. Rach was particularly chuffed with their seats last night - just 8 rows from the front. Chris asked how Madge’s encore was. Aled said he didn’t know as he left early to avoid traffic. No I’m not making this up - he really did. It’s his equivalent of a football match (and I hate fans who do that btw). In fact Aled took off in the taxi he was meant to share with Rach later, without even telling her...
Chris - Well played son
Dave - Good work Al
Rach and Aled had two top Guess Whos from last night - Kylie and Dannii Minogue. Sat together just a couple of rows behind Rach and Aled enjoying the gig. Dannii was dancing and Kylie simply nodding her head in time to the beat. That’s what I do. Saves the embarrassment of trying to dance. Chris asked how they were both looking:
Rach - To be honest I couldn’t see anything cos Aled was practically standing on his chair looking
Sounds about right. Earlier in the game Chris had guessed Britney Spears as one of the mystery celebs. That would’ve been too much for Aled to handle though...
Aled - I couldn’t have kept that in
Dave & Chris (laughing) - Well..
(Rach laughs)
Dave - You probably would’ve got thrown out by the security people if you’d done that
(Aled laughs)
Rach said the only negatives from the night were Madonna doing a plain wrong rock cover version of Imagine by John Lennon (any cover version of that song is plain wrong), plus her wearing a “Brits Do It Better” T-Shirt and saying “It’s good to be home”. Rrrr...
Dave - You’re from Detroit love
Chris said he does like Madonna but she is such a backstabber when it comes to us and the yanks. One minute she’s saying “Brits Do It Better” and then the next releasing an album called “American Life”. Dave has actually met Madonna, but as Chris was just starting to tell the story Aled butted in and said he’s worked with her. Well sort of - he was her runner on the Lottery. Chris said that was rubbish compared to Daves story - as he had sex with her. He didn’t - he just cleared away her avocado and served her some red wine...
Chris - Until the police broke into the house and arrested him
(Aled and Dave laugh)
Chris - “Please leave Mr Vitty, you don’t live here”
10 days in now and still no GB golds at the games in Athens. We could get one the board today though - it’s the above pictured Nathan Robertson and Gail Emms against the Chinese pair Jun Zhang and Ling Gao in the mixed doubles Badminton final. I knew that without looking as well *cough*. Jules is convinced we’ll take 3 golds in “her event” (the sailing) on Saturday anyway, especially her mates Ben Ainslie and Iain Percy...
Jules - I’ll be drinking on Saturday if they win
Chris - Shut up, you’ll be drinking on Saturday if they lose!
(Dom, Jules & Dave laugh)
Buzz Off this morning was The J Geils Band with their number 3 February 82 hit Centerfold, which was played in full. The text vote was 75% Buzz On, Rach first to buzz on 2:41, Aled next on 3:27 and Dave last as it faded away on 3:36. Aled said he’d never heard that song before. Dave asked him if he'd never been to any wedding discos. Aled said not really - the only one he’s been to was at Daves own wedding..
Chris - Yeah but his wedding disco wasn’t a normal wedding disco
Aled - I know
Chris - The bride and groom normally don’t dance to the first dance Angry Andersen and Suddenly...
(Dave and Aled laugh)
Chris - ...with two confetti cannons on the drum crescendo
(Dave laughs again)
BACK DOORS, THE V FESTIVAL AND THE TEAM TALK EXAM GRADES:>>>>
With the summer weather still wet and humid, Chris is finding a pattern forming regarding the little thunderstorms over London. He says they start around 5pm and then it just pees and pees it down. He even said he had his back doors open and everything last night (wahey)...
Dave (laughing) - I had my back doors open last night as well
Chris - Did you?
Dave - Yeah
Chris - Did you get wet?
Dave - I didn’t get wet but I had a nice draft through
(Jules and Dom laugh)
Dom said everyone on his road had their back doors open last night (cue more laughs)....
Dom - Have you got your back doors open Jules?
Jules (laughing) - No I’ve got a few doors open though
Chris - What like the front?
(Dave laughs)
Chris said back door gags are very childish when coming from a father and respected journalist such as Dominic. Slaphead denied they were "gags" though, insisting that he really had the back door to his kitchen open yesterday...
Chris - Is your kitchen leaking?
Dom - Yeah it is. We’re getting it done today, hopefully they’ve arrived...good morning to you the roofers
(Chris, Dave and Rach laugh)
Chris saw an advert for Channel 4 and E4’s forthcoming V Festival Coverage last night. It begins on Saturday @ 11:25 with Cat Deeley, Simon Amstell from Pop World and Mr Vermin Kay from Bolton (more with him in a min). Rachel is going as her friend got her tickets, and Chris wanted to know why he hasn’t been invited. He’s not had no calls, no texts, no e-mails...nothing. He suggested him and Dave go for a day at the weekend. Dave said he can’t as it’s his and Emma’s first wedding anniversary...
Dave - I’ve gotta do like romantic stuff which is a pain cos I had tickets for the Palace away game on Saturday
(Chris, Dom and Rach laugh)
Nevertheless, this didn’t stop Chris in his appeal for free VIP tickets, access all areas backstage passes and transport to and from the venue. He’s not fussy y’know. He ran through the line up for this weekend and said he couldn’t believe no one performing hadn’t invited him, as he knows or has connections with them all:
- DIDO (Chris has only ruddy met her)
- THE THRILLS (Chris has met one of them)
- SNOW PATROL (They are mates with Colin Murray, Chris knows Colin Murray)
- KOSHEEN (Chris has met their lead singer Sian Evans)
- MUSE (Chris has never met them but likes them)
**Dom - Matt Bellamy front man of Muse
Chris - That’s right, Craig Bellamy’s brother
Dom - That’s right
Dave - mmm hmm. David Bellamy’s son..
(Dom laughs)**
- THE HUMAN LEAGUE (They’re from Sheffield, Chris is from Leeds - it’s round the corner)
- ELBOW (They were in America with the team 2 years ago, and Chris of course has 2 elbows)
- STARSAILOR (Chris bumped into lead singer James Walsh and his wife on their honeymoon)
- KRISTIAN LEONTIOU (He supposedly loves the show)
- TIM BOOTH (Supports Leeds, knows the team and Chris’s brother is doing his PR)
- LOTTIE (She’s a fellow Radio One DJ and Chris wants to sleep with her cos she’s fit)
- THE DIVINE COMEDY (Chris and Dave have played Jenga at Neil Hannon’s house)
- ATHLETE (Had them in the Live Lounge so to speak)
- PINK (Her and The Moyles get on like a house on fire)
- FAITHLESS (They came to Daves birthday party in Derry)
- JAMIE CULLUM (Met him at The Brits)
- BADLY DRAWN BOY (Drew Chris and Dave a horse last time he was on the show)
**Dave - I hadn’t realised how hugely influential we are..**
Today then was AS/A Level Results Day - as suitable time as any for the team to discuss their past exams. Dave did A levels and got CCD in them, but didn’t get high enough grades to get into a proper uni on the course he wanted. Therefore he took up Media Studies and Business Management at North Cheshire College...
Chris - Did that help you with Dave Vitty Management, your management company?
(Rach laughs)
Unfortunately Dave ballsed up both Media and Business courses in year one though so had to go back for August Summer School. Rach got BCC in her A levels (History, Combined Eng Lit & Lang and Home Ec). She then did a degree in radio production at uni. Aled (like Chris) didn’t do either A levels or a degree - instead choosing to go down the work experience route at 16. Dom said he screwed up big time in his French, English and Politics A levels - getting DEE. That the most surprising news of the whole lot for me. So on results day here were the team (without an A between them) basically proving that you don’t need to get the top results to get the top jobs. Good grades do help at first, but pics of Parf Daddy down at the farm are always just as much use when it comes to contract renewal..
VERNON GOES BACK HOME:
So an hour later than billed (blame BBC transport), Vernon and Anna The Nutcracker (don’t ask) were live via ISDN to Chris and the team from Bolton Sixth Form College - not a million miles away from me and incidentally where Vernon used to work as a cleaner. That was after he left Uni, couldn’t get a job and worked for Bolton Council. It wasn’t where he went to college though - that was in Wigan (he took French and Geography at A Level and got a D and a U). After the England game he was out at The Living Room in town last night, so was subsequently sounding as rough as a buzzards crutch this morning. He perked up once the BEN (Bolton Evening News) turned up though as he said he’s after his third time front cover today. And he got it - I saw one this afternoon. The reason Vermin had gone back home was of course to open exam results with some of the students at Bolton Sixth Form College, which is apparently a Radio One Breakfast Show tradition...
Chris - We do it every year and it’s really good fun...he says, ticking that box
(Dave laughs)
After Chris and Dave stopped for 3 or 4 minutes of genius Wogan and Ken Bruce impersonating (including the inevitable Hungary - Starving gag), it was back live to Vernon and the students at about 20 past 9. I just love the fact that Moyles kept them waiting to open the most important results of their lives while he pissed around doing Terry Wogan voices. When they did cross back to Vernon he was with Catherine, who took French, History and English A Levels - needing all three at A grade to go do Law at Oxford. Vernon sounded stunned - yes he was still in Bolton. He was even more stunned when she opened up her results and found out she’d got all A’s. I’ve gotta say fair play for getting an A in French as I’ve just done it at AS level and failed in spectacular fashion. Vernon tried to get Catherine all emotional...
Vernon - All your dreams have come true. You’ve got 3 A’s, you’re gonna get bladdered with all them toffs, you’re gonna learn how to go rowing, you’re gonna play polo and croquet like you’ve never played it before...
(Chris, Dave and assembled crowd laugh)
Next up was some guy called Dan Shuk. Chris was hoping for someone more on their level - i.e looking for three D’s to get on that woodwork course at Huddersfield. Unfortunately (well not for him), Dan got the 2A’s and the B he needed to go study Law at Cambridge. Chris asked what the hell was going on. Where were all the thickos? Vernon said they’ll be out tonight in Bolton Town Centre at Ikon. You betcha they will. Vernon said he was getting flashbacks from a long time ago as he sat around watching people open their results. Cue a great bit where he impersonated his mum asking him what the hell he’d been doing for the past 2 years, and him replying “playing football”. Dave found it very funny but Chris was too busy asking him if that Catherine was fit. His lack of a reply kind of gave a clear answer. Chris ended the link up by again plugging the free One Life advice line on 0808 100 8000, that’s 0808 100 8000.
Chris - It really is there to help you and er, to tick a box when it comes to charter renewal...
(Dave laughs)
(0808 100 8000 or http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife)
THE CHRIS MOYLES SHOW SECRET STUDENT:>>>>
Alright the idea behind this feature is to “sign up” (as it were) a student who is a big fan of the show and off to start uni this September. The show will then supposedly follow them throughout their uni life, trying to get an insight into what it’s really like to be a student. This whilst keeping them and their location completely anonymous to the Radio One listener at all times. However, in return the secret student must vow to tell NO ONE AT ALL that it’s them. Other treats will include free tickets to gigs in London and the chance to come out drinking with the team (especially if you’re a single, hot blonde - but that goes without saying). Chris also said the team would help out if they needed them to - with pizza vouchers or whatever. Dave was thinking more along the lines of helping them with their Maths Homework. Just a reminder that that was Comedy Dave who said that. To register (the student will be picked within a month) just call 08700 100 100 and click onto option 3. You can do it 24 hours a day as it’s a pre recorded message.
- For More On The Chris Moyles Show Secret Student : Click Here
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
BERN an MSc student from Woking 2
UNA just about to collect her A Level Results in Armagh 0
Daves Tedious Link
Stereophonics The Bartender And The Thief - Bartender And The Thief was taken from the album Performance And * - Performance and * are two words that could be applied to the use of anabolic steroids - If you put an A in front of steroids you get asteroids, which can be lethal if you’re unlucky enough to suffer a direct hit - Hits of a different type have been suffered by the general public over the years thanks to Pete Waterman - Pete Waterman likes steam trains - Steam trains were the only form of rail travel prior to the invention of diesel and electric powered locomotives - Locomotives move through the power of locomotion - The Locomotion was a hit for Kylie Minogue - Kylie Minogue is a beautiful creature who is great and small - All Creatures Great And Small is a programme all about vets - Vets tend to do a lot of work on farms - Farms tend to grow crops such as wheat and corn - Corn is a primary ingredient in cornflakes - and when you think of cornflakes in the context of great records from the mid 90’s by a solo female piano based performer you think of Cornflake Girl by Tori Amos - Which links us to Tori Amos and Cornflake Girl
MINI MOYLES UPDATE:>>> (thanks of Jono)
- On Friday’s show there’s the first of the messages from potential “Secret Students” and a chance to win tickets to see West Brom vs Aston Villa
- Chris got a cab home today because of heavy rain - he had planned to walk
- Dave is “planning” for his first wedding anniversary and Aled has a lot of paperwork to do, so he’s taken his laptop home to go do it there
*And Dom’s going home early today to check on the roofing men
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8277">> Thursday 19th August 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
