chrismoyles.net
- Wed Aug 25, 2004 9:31 pm
#241997
1. Avril Lavigne - Sk8er Boi 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Eminem - Without Me, 3. Jo Jo - Leave (Get Out), 4. Eric Prydz - Call On Me, 5. BUZZ OFF - ABC - When Smokey Sings, 6. Razorlight - Vice 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. CHRIS MOYLES PARODY - Dom Estelle - 1970, 8. Coldplay - Clocks, 9. Franz Ferdinand - Michael, 10. Girls Aloud - Love Machine 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Pink - Don't Let Me Get Me, 12. Keane - Bedshaped, 13. Twista feat Anthony Hamilton - Sunshine 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. Mis-Teeq - Scandalous, 15. Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved, 16. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling, 17. Robbie Williams - South Of The Border (Tedious Link), 18. Scissor Sisters - Laura, 19. Sugababes - Caught In A Moment, 20. The 411 - Dumb, 21. Supergrass - Alright
(Live In Session For Lamacq Live - No Date Given) 9:30 NEWSBEAT 22. Angel City feat Lara McAllen - Love Me Right, 23. The Killers - All These Things That I've Done, 24. The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started
The show was a bit like the weather this morning: bright but patchy in places (note: probably the first time the word “patchy” has been used in a chrismoyles.net review). Chris was all tired out after his hard training session yesterday - weights, running, punching pads...you know the deal. He said his arms were like jelly this morning. His session lasted for around an hour yesterday afternoon, and then his new trainer headed off to meet up with another Radio One DJ. Chris said he’d reveal this DJ’s identity after the next news bulletin, but he forgot. He did say though that his trainer seems to be slowly “infiltrating” through all the Radio One DJ’s. A good choice of word cos he was thinking about using “penetrating”...but that would just have been wrong.
Dave - Especially when you know who’s concerned
Chris - Well especially when my name’s first on the list...
(Dave chuckles)
Place your bets now. My money’s now on Scott Mills but we’ll probably never know. Olympic chat next and yesterday saw Amir Khan take at least a bronze for Team GB in the Boxing. He’s 17 and from Bolton, although Chris said he didn’t sound it from the clip during the 7:00 sports news. Not everyone from Bolton sounds like Sara Cox, Vernon Kay or Peter Kay y’know Chris. Granted the vast majority - but not old Amir. To be fair though he does have that generic boxer voice thing going on. Chris said he loves the way he is taking the mick out of him while he’s out of the country. He decided it was time to heap a bit of praise back on just in case, and said it was fantastic he’d got a place on the podium - in fact, Chris would even go as far as saying Amir is his favourite boxer from Bolton. Wow, quite an endorsement. Chris asked Jules if Ainslie Harriot had won a medal this time around, and this sparked off a confusing link where they all seemed to be talking about different people. Jules about sailor Ben Ainslie, Chris about Audley Harrison and Dom about the host of Ready Steady Cook. When Chris eventually explained that he was on about big Audley, Dom recalled the time when Mr Harrison came into Radio One a couple of years back. He said he was absolutely huge and made lickle Claire on reception look like a dwarf. Chris said to be fair he himself makes Claire on reception look like a dwarf - she’s only about 4ft 2.
(Amir Khan - Going For Gold in Athens)
Chris said his trainer was bugging the crap out of him yesterday, by continually asking him if he’d seen different events at The Olympics. Moyles said no, he doesn’t watch The Olympics. I’m with Jules on this one and think he should - but he says every time he switches on it’s something rubbish like pole vaulting..
Dave - I quite like pole vaulting..
After calling Jules a “big breasted old tart” for having a go, Chris proceeded to the mick out of double medal winning British cyclist “Bradley Wiggins” - saying he sounds like he’s some kind of old variety stand up act. He also added that if Volleyball is an Olympic Sport, then they should definitely have people competing for Gold in “Olympic Tigs Off Ground” and “The Olympic Knocking On Door Championship”. Just one big high street...”and they’re off” (knock knock). Very funny. Chris said in fact his brother is the hide and seek world champion:
Dave - Is he?
Chris - Yeah, I haven’t seen him in 8 years
(plays jingle)
- JOKE © LONGMAN
THE MOFO’S, ABC AND THE A-TEAM:
It’s that time of year again when we all get nervous and tense...and wait with bated breath to hear this years MOBO nominations. I know, so exciting. As has been discussed on the air numerous times before, Chris hates the MOBO’s. He has a real problem with them because (in a nutshell) they are supposed to be the “music of black origin” awards, yet pretty much all popular music is of of black origin - as the majority can be traced back to blues. That is the negative viewpoint Chris takes, although he can also see the positives - if they were the music of green or white origin they’d be the MOGO’s or the MOWO’s, which is frankly stupid. Chris said thank god they don’t have a “music of French origin” awards ceremony - as it would be the MOFO’s (as in “hee hee chamone”). Dave got slightly confused though and called them the MOFFO’s, which he said sounded stupid as it’s too close to toffos. During the next song the team compiled a brief list of nominees for this years MOFO’s: Jean Michel Jarre, Air, Daft Punk, Sacha Distel and Vanessa Paradis - who is now shacked up with Johnny Depp. Dave and Dom thought she was with Lenny Kravitz. Chris told them that was about ten years ago:
Chris - Y’know Bruce Willis and Demi Moore aren’t together anymore either!!
(Dave laughs)
Chris ran through the MOBO nominations with Dave, who (as we all know) is down with his urban flavas. Dave picked his personal winners from each category, i.e Alicia Keys for Best Album, Jay-Z for Best Video, Beyonce for Best R’n’B act and The Neptunes for best producers - just pipping Will Kinder, Rachel Jones and Richard Murdoch. Next up was Best Single. Chris ran through all the contenders and asked Dave to guess which song they were nominated for:
Chris - Jamelia?
Dave - Er See It In A Boy’s Eyes?
Chris - Thank You
(Dave makes “phew” sound)
Chris - No, it’s “Thank You”. You didn’t get it right..
Dave (laughs) - Oh sorry
Daves knowledge was truly shocking. I’m not the biggest R’n’B fan in the world but even I knew that the Mario Winans song that went to number one earlier this year was “I Don’t Wanna Know”. Dave didn’t, even though Chris played it every bloody day non stop for a couple of months. He had little idea what any of the artists were nominated for in the “Best Single” category actually, and even guessed that Usher was up for Pop Ya Colla...
(Chris laughs)
Dave - What are you laughing at?
Chris (laughing) - How many years ago was that?
Dave - Is that an old one?
Yes Dave, February 2001 - 3 and a half years old exactly. Finally it was album titles, where Dave had to guess the title of the album by each nominated artist:
Chris - Kanye West?
Dave - Can ya feel it?
(Chris and Dave both laugh)
Dave - Can ya dig it?..
(Jamelia - up for 3 MOBO’s on September 30th
*For full nominations - Click here
*For how to vote - Click here)
Buzz Off this morning was another golden oldie from the 80’s - When Smokey Sings by ABC, number 11 back in June 87. A great pop song, and played in it’s entirety after the listeners voted in favour - 72% Buzz On in fact. From the team Aled was first to buzz on 3:17, Rach next on 3:26 and Dave last (just 4 seconds before the end) on 4:15. The BA Story in the news with Dom at 8:30 prompted a text from Mike asking if he was on about “BA Baracus” - aka Mr. T. Dom said surprisingly no - but then him, Dave, Chris and Jules got into a long discussion reminiscing about The A-Team, Chips, Dukes Of Hazzard, Airwolf and pretty much every other American show made before I was born. It wasn’t exactly target and needless to say I soon lost interest. Nevertheless they proceeded and discussed (amongst others) Howling Mad Murdock, Dirk Benedict and Hannibal in the A-Team, plus Ali MacGraw, Kris Kristofferson and Ernest Borgnine in Convoy - which Dave called his favourite film of all time. Way above my head I’m afraid. I think Chris recognised this in the end:
Chris - Right we’re heading to Radio 2 discussion point, need to eject now...
(plays jingle)
FUNNY SECRET STUDENT CLIPS - PLUS, IS ALED COLIN JACKSON?:>>>>
Day whatever of Secret Student now, and yet more fabulous messages to play out on the air from fame hunting wannabes. Joy. Today they included some goldfish freezing Welsh bird who looks likes Liv Tyler (seriously - just don’t ask), some West Country bumpkin who studies medicine and keeps pet lizards, a Man U fan who had his message cut short immediately...and a potential winner. Yep, in the shape of a bloke who is going to uni in September to do a micky mouse course, just so he can go to a uni with a large ratio of women to men. Good thinking. He is also extremely sarcastic (I can identify with that) and has a bit of an alcohol problem too, just as a bonus. Chris said it’s always nice to have something in common with the applicants after all. If he was funny for all the right reasons, then the next girl was the complete opposite. She was some stuck up toffy nosed Kent cow who said she’s off to university this September “in the Northern England”. Yeah well we don’t want you love..
Chris - Patronising Kent cow
Dave - Application rejected!
Chris and Dave did brilliant impressions of her referring to up here as “ooop north” and “flat cap land” etc etc. Very funny. The girl claimed that she needs to socialise as much as possible in her first year at uni, so they need her as their Secret Student:
Chris - Eh guess what sweetheart, horsy girl, we don’t need you at all..
- 08700 100 100 Option 3
- Secret Student @ R1 ONLINE - http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chrismoyles ... dent.shtml
(Aled on the left, Colin on the right...)
So the text goes as follows “How much does Aled sound like Colin Jackson off of the Olympics, off of the telly??!!”. The answer you would think - not very much. And you’d be right. Chris did make Aled read out a script and then play in a clip of Colin saying the same thing, but I’m not really having it. Granted when speeded up or “Aledized” (as Dave liked to call it), Colin sounded more like the shows resident tea maker - although Aled was keen to point out that Colin is from Cardiff (or “Cerdiff”) while he is mid Wales and posh Welsh. “Oh golly gosh boyo” and all that.
TRACY THE QUEEN VIC BARMAID LIVE ON THE PHONE:>>>>
(Tracy the barmaid - aka Jane Slaughter)
At 8:45 Rachel had a surprise for Chris. She was just about to tell him what it was when he interrupted. He asked if she was leaving, as she’d annoyed him a lot pre show. She said yes, so Chris said good, they can now get that lap dancer in from Peppermint Hippo to produce the show. Impatient Dave butted in...
Dave (interrupting) - C’mon what’s the surprise then? I’m bored..
(Rach, Dom and Chris laugh)
The surprise was in the form of a mystery Guess Who on Line 1 - whose identity son became evident. It was Jane Slaughter from EastEnders. Before you do a “whooo?” in a Lard stylee, she’s the extra who plays Tracy the barmaid - and the one Chris and Sophie spotted dancing along to The Thrills at V in Chelmsford on Sunday. Chris said he was standing an arms length away from her but was too nervous to say hello. She said he should have done, as she was away when they were on set in April and therefore didn’t get to meet him then either. I thought the interview with her over the phone was fine, but I wouldn’t go as OTT as Dave did and say she was one of the best guests they’ve ever had on. Stuff discussed included possible storylines (i.e larger than a “yes” or a “no”) for Jane, as this November it’s her 20th anniversary playing Tracy. Chris said perhaps she could get more on screen time by ordering somebody up a Bloody Mary or a Woo Woo instead of a pint of beer. Aled had to explain to Jane what is in a Woo Woo (Vodka, Cranberry and Peach Snaps), but Dave said if somebody ordered that in the East End of London they’d probably get beaten up before they were served. Jane said he had a point. Her favourite cheese btw - Cambozola.
(*For an EastEnders Online interview with Jane - Click here
*For the Official Site - Click here
*And for The Ask Kat Slater Game Chris was trying out: Click here - try swearing at her...it’s the best bit)
THE TEAM TALK IN SONG LYRICS:>>>>
During the new Sugababes song after 9 o’clock, Chris and Dom started up a very strange conversation off the air - strange in the fact it was made up entirely of different song lyrics. It almost told a story (apparently) and Chris said he was sure there could be a brand new feature in there somewhere. So onto the air this went, as Chris, Dave and Dom recited lyrics from...(deep breath): Mike & The Mechanics, Wham!, Whitney Houston, M People, Bon Jovi, Natalie Imbruglia, The Killers, The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air, Oasis, Billie Piper, Belle Stars and Bryan Adams. Dave was actually half way through the lyrics to Everything I Do (I Do It For You), when this happened...
Dave (stops midway through) - Oh balls! The website’s just crashed
(Chris and Dom laugh)
Dom in particular was getting really into this game, and must have recited a good 5 or 6 U2 songs by the time Chris started to get annoyed. He said just before the end of the show that they were off to put one of those horse tranquillisers in Dom and hopefully calm him down.
ROUND UP OF OTHER CRAP FROM TODAY
Chris and Dave want to hijack Colin and Edith’s bid to get Billy Connolly on their Friday afternoon show this week, and get him on the air via phone on Friday morning. One because he’s funny and they like him, but two (and more importantly) cos they want to pee Murray off. Sounds like fun. Dave said if it helps with Billy’s management people, he’s read his book - one of only 5 he’s read in his life. Chris said he interviewed him when he was 15, and also saw him filming a Lotto commercial on Primrose Hill one day when him and Dave were out jogging and stuff. All very good so far, but once Chris had done his Billy impression (and made him sound like Alan Hansen)...their appeal was effectively ruined. Other stuff today included Chris replaying his Dom Estelle 1970 parody, and then adding that he has an albums worth of material like that just ready and waiting to go. Including btw Steve Irwin’s Coldplay tribute “Crocks” (featuring Australian Dave as guest vocalist). G’day. Dom said he’d very much like to hear this, but Chris and Dave said they’d have to find it from their Vault first (cue laughter). Chris said the parody archive room is sadly locked and they don’t know where the keys are. Gregory in Worksop was today’s ticket winner on the old cue to call competition. He rang in when Chris played the Lamacq Live version of Alright by Supergrass, and is now off to Leeds this weekend - with VIP access to the Radio One Hospitality Tent...as many marshmallows and revels as you can handle. Before the festival itself though it is of course the big Chris Moyles Show Book Signing, which is at Leeds Met tomorrow evening - “bring a book, get it signed, bugger off”. No bibles or porn allowed though...unless you’re in it. Dave said he doubted there’ll be many people from the Bible there though (ber dum cha).
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
AMY a Norwich Union credit controller from Mountsorrel in Leicestershire 2
JOHN a Disney flooring carpet fitter from Western-Super-Mare 0
Chris - How old are you John by the way?
John - 21
Chris - Have you got a girlfriend?
John - I have indeed
Chris - Really?
John - Yep
Chris - I owe you a fiver Dominic
(Dom, Dave and Amy laugh)
As Roy Walker repeatedly pointed out about Amy...”she sounds nice”. She did, although soon after her victory it became clear that she’s not exactly the sharpest knife in the rack. She said it’s her birthday on Saturday and asked if she could have the teams autographs and a CD as her prize for winning:
Dave - If I was you I would have asked for Leeds or Reading tickets..
Amy - Well I support Leicester..
Chris - No not for the football you daft cow
Amy - Oh (laughs)
(Dave laughs)
Chris - There’s a big music festival going on this weekend
Amy - Oh yeah, well I wouldn’t mind a couple of tickets to Leeds if they’re going
Dave (interrupting) - Nah, the autographs’ll do!!
Chris - Yeah that’s fine
(Amy laughs)
Dave - We’ll have to take your first answer!!
Amy told Chris that she was thinking of driving all the way up to see them in Leeds tomorrow, and getting a book signed. The way she said it though left the sentence hanging, as if she was about to say she now can’t go:
Amy - No no, I probably still will come
(Dom laughs)
Chris (laughing) - If I had a pound..
(Amy and Dave laugh)
Dave (laughing) - She said “probably”!!
(Chris, Dave and Amy laugh)
Daves Tedious Link
Soul II Soul feat Caron Wheeler Back To Life (However Do You Want Me) - “Back to life” is how you might describe someone who has been defrosted and resuscitated after being cryogenically frozen - Frozen was a hit for Madonna - Madonna last week played Earls Court in London, at a gig attended by Radio One’s Rachel and Aled - Rachel and Aled both have the surname “Jones” - Jones rhymes with bones, which make up the skeletons of all primates - Primates give birth to live young, unlike chickens and crocodiles that have them in egg form - The plural of egg is eggs, which are sold in egg cartons - Egg cartons can be used to soundproof the walls of pirate radio stations - Pirate radio stations are illegal, as are flick knives - “Knives” are a good example of a K word that has an N sound, a bit like “knees”, “kneeling” and “knob” - Knob is a measurement of butter in the world of cooking - Cooking differs in different parts of the world, such as China, India and Mexico - Mexico shares a border with the USA - and if you had travelled over the border from the USA to Mexico, and wanted to know where you were geographically, I suppose you could say that you were “south of the border” - Which links us to Robbie Williams and South Of The Border
NO MINI MOYLES UPDATE TODAY:>>>
No real reason I don’t think. Just some crap about The Bank Holiday Weekend and The GCSE Results Helpline instead.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8319">> Wednesday 25th August 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
(Live In Session For Lamacq Live - No Date Given) 9:30 NEWSBEAT 22. Angel City feat Lara McAllen - Love Me Right, 23. The Killers - All These Things That I've Done, 24. The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started
The show was a bit like the weather this morning: bright but patchy in places (note: probably the first time the word “patchy” has been used in a chrismoyles.net review). Chris was all tired out after his hard training session yesterday - weights, running, punching pads...you know the deal. He said his arms were like jelly this morning. His session lasted for around an hour yesterday afternoon, and then his new trainer headed off to meet up with another Radio One DJ. Chris said he’d reveal this DJ’s identity after the next news bulletin, but he forgot. He did say though that his trainer seems to be slowly “infiltrating” through all the Radio One DJ’s. A good choice of word cos he was thinking about using “penetrating”...but that would just have been wrong.
Dave - Especially when you know who’s concerned
Chris - Well especially when my name’s first on the list...
(Dave chuckles)
Place your bets now. My money’s now on Scott Mills but we’ll probably never know. Olympic chat next and yesterday saw Amir Khan take at least a bronze for Team GB in the Boxing. He’s 17 and from Bolton, although Chris said he didn’t sound it from the clip during the 7:00 sports news. Not everyone from Bolton sounds like Sara Cox, Vernon Kay or Peter Kay y’know Chris. Granted the vast majority - but not old Amir. To be fair though he does have that generic boxer voice thing going on. Chris said he loves the way he is taking the mick out of him while he’s out of the country. He decided it was time to heap a bit of praise back on just in case, and said it was fantastic he’d got a place on the podium - in fact, Chris would even go as far as saying Amir is his favourite boxer from Bolton. Wow, quite an endorsement. Chris asked Jules if Ainslie Harriot had won a medal this time around, and this sparked off a confusing link where they all seemed to be talking about different people. Jules about sailor Ben Ainslie, Chris about Audley Harrison and Dom about the host of Ready Steady Cook. When Chris eventually explained that he was on about big Audley, Dom recalled the time when Mr Harrison came into Radio One a couple of years back. He said he was absolutely huge and made lickle Claire on reception look like a dwarf. Chris said to be fair he himself makes Claire on reception look like a dwarf - she’s only about 4ft 2.
(Amir Khan - Going For Gold in Athens)
Chris said his trainer was bugging the crap out of him yesterday, by continually asking him if he’d seen different events at The Olympics. Moyles said no, he doesn’t watch The Olympics. I’m with Jules on this one and think he should - but he says every time he switches on it’s something rubbish like pole vaulting..
Dave - I quite like pole vaulting..
After calling Jules a “big breasted old tart” for having a go, Chris proceeded to the mick out of double medal winning British cyclist “Bradley Wiggins” - saying he sounds like he’s some kind of old variety stand up act. He also added that if Volleyball is an Olympic Sport, then they should definitely have people competing for Gold in “Olympic Tigs Off Ground” and “The Olympic Knocking On Door Championship”. Just one big high street...”and they’re off” (knock knock). Very funny. Chris said in fact his brother is the hide and seek world champion:
Dave - Is he?
Chris - Yeah, I haven’t seen him in 8 years
(plays jingle)
- JOKE © LONGMAN
THE MOFO’S, ABC AND THE A-TEAM:
It’s that time of year again when we all get nervous and tense...and wait with bated breath to hear this years MOBO nominations. I know, so exciting. As has been discussed on the air numerous times before, Chris hates the MOBO’s. He has a real problem with them because (in a nutshell) they are supposed to be the “music of black origin” awards, yet pretty much all popular music is of of black origin - as the majority can be traced back to blues. That is the negative viewpoint Chris takes, although he can also see the positives - if they were the music of green or white origin they’d be the MOGO’s or the MOWO’s, which is frankly stupid. Chris said thank god they don’t have a “music of French origin” awards ceremony - as it would be the MOFO’s (as in “hee hee chamone”). Dave got slightly confused though and called them the MOFFO’s, which he said sounded stupid as it’s too close to toffos. During the next song the team compiled a brief list of nominees for this years MOFO’s: Jean Michel Jarre, Air, Daft Punk, Sacha Distel and Vanessa Paradis - who is now shacked up with Johnny Depp. Dave and Dom thought she was with Lenny Kravitz. Chris told them that was about ten years ago:
Chris - Y’know Bruce Willis and Demi Moore aren’t together anymore either!!
(Dave laughs)
Chris ran through the MOBO nominations with Dave, who (as we all know) is down with his urban flavas. Dave picked his personal winners from each category, i.e Alicia Keys for Best Album, Jay-Z for Best Video, Beyonce for Best R’n’B act and The Neptunes for best producers - just pipping Will Kinder, Rachel Jones and Richard Murdoch. Next up was Best Single. Chris ran through all the contenders and asked Dave to guess which song they were nominated for:
Chris - Jamelia?
Dave - Er See It In A Boy’s Eyes?
Chris - Thank You
(Dave makes “phew” sound)
Chris - No, it’s “Thank You”. You didn’t get it right..
Dave (laughs) - Oh sorry
Daves knowledge was truly shocking. I’m not the biggest R’n’B fan in the world but even I knew that the Mario Winans song that went to number one earlier this year was “I Don’t Wanna Know”. Dave didn’t, even though Chris played it every bloody day non stop for a couple of months. He had little idea what any of the artists were nominated for in the “Best Single” category actually, and even guessed that Usher was up for Pop Ya Colla...
(Chris laughs)
Dave - What are you laughing at?
Chris (laughing) - How many years ago was that?
Dave - Is that an old one?
Yes Dave, February 2001 - 3 and a half years old exactly. Finally it was album titles, where Dave had to guess the title of the album by each nominated artist:
Chris - Kanye West?
Dave - Can ya feel it?
(Chris and Dave both laugh)
Dave - Can ya dig it?..
(Jamelia - up for 3 MOBO’s on September 30th
*For full nominations - Click here
*For how to vote - Click here)
Buzz Off this morning was another golden oldie from the 80’s - When Smokey Sings by ABC, number 11 back in June 87. A great pop song, and played in it’s entirety after the listeners voted in favour - 72% Buzz On in fact. From the team Aled was first to buzz on 3:17, Rach next on 3:26 and Dave last (just 4 seconds before the end) on 4:15. The BA Story in the news with Dom at 8:30 prompted a text from Mike asking if he was on about “BA Baracus” - aka Mr. T. Dom said surprisingly no - but then him, Dave, Chris and Jules got into a long discussion reminiscing about The A-Team, Chips, Dukes Of Hazzard, Airwolf and pretty much every other American show made before I was born. It wasn’t exactly target and needless to say I soon lost interest. Nevertheless they proceeded and discussed (amongst others) Howling Mad Murdock, Dirk Benedict and Hannibal in the A-Team, plus Ali MacGraw, Kris Kristofferson and Ernest Borgnine in Convoy - which Dave called his favourite film of all time. Way above my head I’m afraid. I think Chris recognised this in the end:
Chris - Right we’re heading to Radio 2 discussion point, need to eject now...
(plays jingle)
FUNNY SECRET STUDENT CLIPS - PLUS, IS ALED COLIN JACKSON?:>>>>
Day whatever of Secret Student now, and yet more fabulous messages to play out on the air from fame hunting wannabes. Joy. Today they included some goldfish freezing Welsh bird who looks likes Liv Tyler (seriously - just don’t ask), some West Country bumpkin who studies medicine and keeps pet lizards, a Man U fan who had his message cut short immediately...and a potential winner. Yep, in the shape of a bloke who is going to uni in September to do a micky mouse course, just so he can go to a uni with a large ratio of women to men. Good thinking. He is also extremely sarcastic (I can identify with that) and has a bit of an alcohol problem too, just as a bonus. Chris said it’s always nice to have something in common with the applicants after all. If he was funny for all the right reasons, then the next girl was the complete opposite. She was some stuck up toffy nosed Kent cow who said she’s off to university this September “in the Northern England”. Yeah well we don’t want you love..
Chris - Patronising Kent cow
Dave - Application rejected!
Chris and Dave did brilliant impressions of her referring to up here as “ooop north” and “flat cap land” etc etc. Very funny. The girl claimed that she needs to socialise as much as possible in her first year at uni, so they need her as their Secret Student:
Chris - Eh guess what sweetheart, horsy girl, we don’t need you at all..
- 08700 100 100 Option 3
- Secret Student @ R1 ONLINE - http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chrismoyles ... dent.shtml
(Aled on the left, Colin on the right...)
So the text goes as follows “How much does Aled sound like Colin Jackson off of the Olympics, off of the telly??!!”. The answer you would think - not very much. And you’d be right. Chris did make Aled read out a script and then play in a clip of Colin saying the same thing, but I’m not really having it. Granted when speeded up or “Aledized” (as Dave liked to call it), Colin sounded more like the shows resident tea maker - although Aled was keen to point out that Colin is from Cardiff (or “Cerdiff”) while he is mid Wales and posh Welsh. “Oh golly gosh boyo” and all that.
TRACY THE QUEEN VIC BARMAID LIVE ON THE PHONE:>>>>
(Tracy the barmaid - aka Jane Slaughter)
At 8:45 Rachel had a surprise for Chris. She was just about to tell him what it was when he interrupted. He asked if she was leaving, as she’d annoyed him a lot pre show. She said yes, so Chris said good, they can now get that lap dancer in from Peppermint Hippo to produce the show. Impatient Dave butted in...
Dave (interrupting) - C’mon what’s the surprise then? I’m bored..
(Rach, Dom and Chris laugh)
The surprise was in the form of a mystery Guess Who on Line 1 - whose identity son became evident. It was Jane Slaughter from EastEnders. Before you do a “whooo?” in a Lard stylee, she’s the extra who plays Tracy the barmaid - and the one Chris and Sophie spotted dancing along to The Thrills at V in Chelmsford on Sunday. Chris said he was standing an arms length away from her but was too nervous to say hello. She said he should have done, as she was away when they were on set in April and therefore didn’t get to meet him then either. I thought the interview with her over the phone was fine, but I wouldn’t go as OTT as Dave did and say she was one of the best guests they’ve ever had on. Stuff discussed included possible storylines (i.e larger than a “yes” or a “no”) for Jane, as this November it’s her 20th anniversary playing Tracy. Chris said perhaps she could get more on screen time by ordering somebody up a Bloody Mary or a Woo Woo instead of a pint of beer. Aled had to explain to Jane what is in a Woo Woo (Vodka, Cranberry and Peach Snaps), but Dave said if somebody ordered that in the East End of London they’d probably get beaten up before they were served. Jane said he had a point. Her favourite cheese btw - Cambozola.
(*For an EastEnders Online interview with Jane - Click here
*For the Official Site - Click here
*And for The Ask Kat Slater Game Chris was trying out: Click here - try swearing at her...it’s the best bit)
THE TEAM TALK IN SONG LYRICS:>>>>
During the new Sugababes song after 9 o’clock, Chris and Dom started up a very strange conversation off the air - strange in the fact it was made up entirely of different song lyrics. It almost told a story (apparently) and Chris said he was sure there could be a brand new feature in there somewhere. So onto the air this went, as Chris, Dave and Dom recited lyrics from...(deep breath): Mike & The Mechanics, Wham!, Whitney Houston, M People, Bon Jovi, Natalie Imbruglia, The Killers, The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air, Oasis, Billie Piper, Belle Stars and Bryan Adams. Dave was actually half way through the lyrics to Everything I Do (I Do It For You), when this happened...
Dave (stops midway through) - Oh balls! The website’s just crashed
(Chris and Dom laugh)
Dom in particular was getting really into this game, and must have recited a good 5 or 6 U2 songs by the time Chris started to get annoyed. He said just before the end of the show that they were off to put one of those horse tranquillisers in Dom and hopefully calm him down.
ROUND UP OF OTHER CRAP FROM TODAY
Chris and Dave want to hijack Colin and Edith’s bid to get Billy Connolly on their Friday afternoon show this week, and get him on the air via phone on Friday morning. One because he’s funny and they like him, but two (and more importantly) cos they want to pee Murray off. Sounds like fun. Dave said if it helps with Billy’s management people, he’s read his book - one of only 5 he’s read in his life. Chris said he interviewed him when he was 15, and also saw him filming a Lotto commercial on Primrose Hill one day when him and Dave were out jogging and stuff. All very good so far, but once Chris had done his Billy impression (and made him sound like Alan Hansen)...their appeal was effectively ruined. Other stuff today included Chris replaying his Dom Estelle 1970 parody, and then adding that he has an albums worth of material like that just ready and waiting to go. Including btw Steve Irwin’s Coldplay tribute “Crocks” (featuring Australian Dave as guest vocalist). G’day. Dom said he’d very much like to hear this, but Chris and Dave said they’d have to find it from their Vault first (cue laughter). Chris said the parody archive room is sadly locked and they don’t know where the keys are. Gregory in Worksop was today’s ticket winner on the old cue to call competition. He rang in when Chris played the Lamacq Live version of Alright by Supergrass, and is now off to Leeds this weekend - with VIP access to the Radio One Hospitality Tent...as many marshmallows and revels as you can handle. Before the festival itself though it is of course the big Chris Moyles Show Book Signing, which is at Leeds Met tomorrow evening - “bring a book, get it signed, bugger off”. No bibles or porn allowed though...unless you’re in it. Dave said he doubted there’ll be many people from the Bible there though (ber dum cha).
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
AMY a Norwich Union credit controller from Mountsorrel in Leicestershire 2
JOHN a Disney flooring carpet fitter from Western-Super-Mare 0
Chris - How old are you John by the way?
John - 21
Chris - Have you got a girlfriend?
John - I have indeed
Chris - Really?
John - Yep
Chris - I owe you a fiver Dominic
(Dom, Dave and Amy laugh)
As Roy Walker repeatedly pointed out about Amy...”she sounds nice”. She did, although soon after her victory it became clear that she’s not exactly the sharpest knife in the rack. She said it’s her birthday on Saturday and asked if she could have the teams autographs and a CD as her prize for winning:
Dave - If I was you I would have asked for Leeds or Reading tickets..
Amy - Well I support Leicester..
Chris - No not for the football you daft cow
Amy - Oh (laughs)
(Dave laughs)
Chris - There’s a big music festival going on this weekend
Amy - Oh yeah, well I wouldn’t mind a couple of tickets to Leeds if they’re going
Dave (interrupting) - Nah, the autographs’ll do!!
Chris - Yeah that’s fine
(Amy laughs)
Dave - We’ll have to take your first answer!!
Amy told Chris that she was thinking of driving all the way up to see them in Leeds tomorrow, and getting a book signed. The way she said it though left the sentence hanging, as if she was about to say she now can’t go:
Amy - No no, I probably still will come
(Dom laughs)
Chris (laughing) - If I had a pound..
(Amy and Dave laugh)
Dave (laughing) - She said “probably”!!
(Chris, Dave and Amy laugh)
Daves Tedious Link
Soul II Soul feat Caron Wheeler Back To Life (However Do You Want Me) - “Back to life” is how you might describe someone who has been defrosted and resuscitated after being cryogenically frozen - Frozen was a hit for Madonna - Madonna last week played Earls Court in London, at a gig attended by Radio One’s Rachel and Aled - Rachel and Aled both have the surname “Jones” - Jones rhymes with bones, which make up the skeletons of all primates - Primates give birth to live young, unlike chickens and crocodiles that have them in egg form - The plural of egg is eggs, which are sold in egg cartons - Egg cartons can be used to soundproof the walls of pirate radio stations - Pirate radio stations are illegal, as are flick knives - “Knives” are a good example of a K word that has an N sound, a bit like “knees”, “kneeling” and “knob” - Knob is a measurement of butter in the world of cooking - Cooking differs in different parts of the world, such as China, India and Mexico - Mexico shares a border with the USA - and if you had travelled over the border from the USA to Mexico, and wanted to know where you were geographically, I suppose you could say that you were “south of the border” - Which links us to Robbie Williams and South Of The Border
NO MINI MOYLES UPDATE TODAY:>>>
No real reason I don’t think. Just some crap about The Bank Holiday Weekend and The GCSE Results Helpline instead.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8319">> Wednesday 25th August 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
