chrismoyles.net
- Wed Sep 01, 2004 10:56 pm
#242002
1. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. CHRIS MOYLES PARODY - Dom Estelle - 1970, 3. Christina Aguilera feat Redman - Dirrty, 4. Keane - Bedshaped, 5. BUZZ OFF - U2 - Where The Streets Have No Name, 6. Mousse T feat Emma Lanford - Is It Cos I'm Cool? 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words, 8. Oasis - Songbird, 9. Girls Aloud - Love Machine, 10. Armand Van Helden - My My My 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Destiny’s Child - Survivor, 12. The Thrills - Whatever Happened To Corey Haim, 13. Fatboy Slim - Slash Dot Dash, 14. Joss Stone - Fell In Love With A Boy, 15. Lostprophets - Last Summer 8:30 NEWSBEAT 16. CHRIS MOYLES PARODY - mouldylookinstain - Dogs Don’t Kill People, Rabbits Do, 17. Twista feat Anthony Hamilton - Sunshine, 18. Razorlight - Golden Touch, 19. Foo Fighters - Learn To Fly (Tedious Link), 20. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 21. Muse - Butterflies & Hurricanes, 22. Jo Jo - Leave (Get Out) 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved, 24. Roger Sanchez - Another Chance, 25. CHRIS MOYLES PARODY REPEAT - mouldylookinstain - Dogs Don’t Kill People, Rabbits Do
Happy September everyone - and an excellent show to kick off the month with today. Chris began by saying he had a curry last night. Not in itself earth shattering news, but not really a good idea when you do an early morning radio show *belch*. The blame was placed on buttylicious Longman, who’s down in London for a couple of days - him and his American friend Karen. They were on the London Eye yesterday (he’s scared of heights - ironic as he’s 7ft 10 or summat), and this morning in the world famous Radio One studios themselves. Longman only said a couple of words on the air though as Rachel had put a gagging order on him. In fact she even dedicated a song to him as well - Leave (Get Out) by Jo Jo. Nice. This all after his infamous Austrian specials link a few weeks back remember. Needless to say the team were going for something from a more traditional menu for their breakfast today. Aled was taking early orders at 7, and Chris told him to find the guy in the caf who put brown sauce on his bacon yesterday and give him a piece of his mind. Moyles claimed he had vomited yesterday afternoon cos of that, and kept it in a plaggy bag for the guy to see. Hmm, a lovely image to wake up to:
Chris - Actually that’s how I got banned from the one round the corner isn’t it?...
(pause)
Dave (laughing) - It is the one round the corner..
(Jules and Dom laugh)
Chris - Oh no not again
(news stab as Dave laughs)
The team are using this place again while their usual caf is closed for refurbishment. Aled said Chris could slag them off as much as he liked as they listen to crappy tinpot local London radio in there anyway - whereas in the old caf they have Moyles on in the morning...although granted under Aled’s orders. Dom hadn’t ordered a sarnie today - he’d just gone for the “healthy” option of a banana and an apple. Or so we thought. Apparently he was only gonna have a banana, but Rach had a go at him before the show and told him apples were much healthier. When the story was re told on the air she was claiming otherwise though, and her and Chris had an argument about it after the 7:30 news. He said she was being such a mardy arsed cow today...
Chris - Will you please, for the love of Christ and everyone who listens to this show and everyone who works with you...go and get laid!!
(Rach gasps and Jules laughs)
Chris - Just go let it out!! Go out, get drunk, find a man, have your fun and get it out your system. Honestly, that’s what Dave does...
(Dom laughs)
Dave said not anymore. Good mornin’. Chris told Rach to chill, stop being so fired up and just feel the tranquillity of the show. He said he wanted to see her turn that frown upside down:
Dave - Let’s see some teeth
(Rach laughs)
(That’ll be Rachel then)
ONE BIG WEEKEND IN BIRMINGHAM - AND ANOTHER NEW PARODY:
This is what being on Breakfast is all about - big announcements like this. I could tell Chris was loving the responsibility - he even sounded a bit like a DJ at one point. So at 8:15 (over a stupidly remixed Fatboy Slim bed) - Chris revealed the line up for the forthcoming OBW in Birmingham on September 18th & 19th. It’ll be in Perry Park with (as usual) a dance day on the Saturday and a bands day on the Sunday. 1200 free tickets for both days will be given away by JK and Joel at Millennium Point in Brum - that being directly a week before both gigs on Saturday the 11th and Sunday the 12th of September. This time around there is a slight change to OBW though, as there’ll be 2 tents to choose from on both days. Performing on the Dance Day on Saturday will be the following... *deep breath*: DJ Tiesto, Judge Jules, Fatboy Slim, Deep Dish, Nic Fanciulli, Josh “Rinse” Roberts, Darren Emerson, Xpress 2, Behrouz, Yousef, Groove Armada, David Guetta, Mylo, Mutiny and...Dave Pearce (ha ha). Performing on the bands day on Sunday will be the following: Joss Stone, Lostprophets, Damien Rice, Razorlight, goldielookinchain, Natasha Bedingfield, Estelle, The Music, Kasabian, The 22 - 20's, 13 Senses, Skinnyman, The Departure, Exist and Radio One’s Unsigned Band The Broken Dolls. Presenters include Chris, Jo Whiley, Colin and Edith, Zane Lowe, Huw Stephens, Steve Lamacq, Vernon, Scott Mills, JK & Joel, Spoony and Nemone (so basically the whole station).
Radio 1 ONLINE Birmingham OBW Mini Site - Click here
Radio 1 ONLINE Birmingham OBW Ticket Info - Click here
(That link includes details btw of how you can win tickets Online, and of how you can win tickets thanks to this fella: Mr Mini Moyles).
One as yet unconfirmed act performing on the Sunday are “Mouldy Lookin’ Stain”, the breakfast shows newly formed rap combo to rival GLC. It’s Chris, Dave and Dom (Heavy C and The Boys) - and following the success of their freestyle rapping yesterday, today saw the world exclusive first (and second) play of their debut single “Dogs Don’t Kill People, Rabbits Do”. The team were all kitted out in their bling for the performance (albeit pre recorded) - all that is except Comedy Dave, who was still in his cardigan.
Dave - It’s not a cardigan...it’s a modern jumper
Chris - Alright fine
(him, Rach and Dom laugh)
I thought the parody was OK. Not amazing by any means but still worth a listen when the Sound Vault is up and running again. I’ve e-mailed the full lyrics over to Harris, who will add them to the lyrics pages asap. In the meantime though people, here’s a sample of the lyrics (the bands manager Rachel Jones said their performance made her so proud):
"If I could I’d be top of my class, I’d take that rabbit and pop a cap in his ass,
The truth is out, the rabbit is risen,
But these dam rabbits don’t ever go to prison,
Bugs Bunny RIP, even Roger Rabbit’s in the cemetery...
Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do,
Summon Elma Fudd, woo woo woo!!
Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do,
Summon Elma Fudd, woo woo woo!!"
ROONEY, KEV GEOGHEGAN, BUZZ OFF AND GIRLS ALOUD:>>>>
(The sight Dave didn’t want to see - Rooney signs for United)
Chris said he felt for Dave this morning. He was with him. Vitty wanted Wayne to stay in the bosom of his beloved Toffee family, but it just wasn’t to be. Dave said it made him sick - seeing all those fat mancs outside Old Trafford with Rooney on their backs yesterday. He said it might have been OK if they’d got a good price for him, which he wasn’t sure they had (comedy moment of the year for me so far - Dave on Newsbeat talking about Rooney yesterday). Chris said it’s not the end of the world - he had to go through it with Alan Smith. He then did his crap Mancunian accent again - cue another barrage of text abuse, only this time from this part of the world and not from Scotland. I say that cos only a few minutes beforehand Chris and Dave had been taking the pee out of the way Dom lookalike and Scottish Entertainment Newsbeater Kev Geoghegan pronounces “Wednesday”...
Dave - We didn’t do anything about the Scots. We just said that Kev Geoghegan is Scottish, and that’s perhaps why he pronounces Wed-erns-day the way he does...
(Chris laughs)
Dave - ..I’m probably not helping here am I?
(The man in question - Kev Geoghegan)
Buzz Off this morning was the number 4 September 87 U2 classic Where The Streets Have No Name. The listener response was one of the highest ever - 92% Buzz On, and Aled, Rach and Dave all buzzed in within the final five seconds of the tune. And what a tune. One that doesn’t stand up quite so well in comparison is Girls Aloud’s new one “Love Machine”, although it is yet another good pop song from them (I don’t think they’ve released a bad one yet). All five are of course also very easy on the eye, but Chris thinks particularly so at the moment. Hard to disagree. Dave ran Chris through who they all are (and where they’re from), as they viewed a pic of them on their website. The pic they were looking at is basically the one below, and apparently some very nice new shots of them are out in FHM this month (in shops tomorrow). After finding out she’s from Bradford, Chris said that Kimberley is his favourite one in the band. Dave said his favourite very much depends on his mood, but at the moment Nadine is floating his boat. He however added that they’re “all talented ladies”. Rach agreed - she loves them all equally (what a surprise).
(Left To Right: Nadine from Derry, Nicola from Runcorn, Sarah from Stockport, Kimberley from Bradford and Cheryl from Newcastle)
HALF TIME: WOMEN WATCHING FILMS - A FEW COMPLAINTS:>>>>
(Dave and Chris - Pioneers of non sexist radio)
Chris was talking about the fact that he is yet to see Kill Bill 2 when the half time link started picking up pace and turning into a Chris & Dave rant about women. Chris said cos him and Sophie don’t live together, he is constantly waiting for her before he watches films. For example, they couldn’t go see Spiderman 2 at the cinema cos she fell asleep and didn’t see the end of Spiderman 1. She also stops him from watching his DVD’s until she’s there - an example being Gangs Of New York, which he’s now had on DVD for over 2 years without watching. It’s alright, can’t say it’s worth 2 years wait though. A more recent example of this is Lost In Translation, which Sophie kept telling Chris not to watch yet...only for her to go and see it with her mum while he was in Leeds at the weekend. A bit out of order. Dave asked Chris if “his” does the really annoying thing that Emma does - goes out to make a cup of tea while the credits roll at the start of a film - and therefore misses the crucial first five minutes where the scene and setting are established. She then comes back in 5 minutes later asking where they are, and Dave said she’d bloody know if she hadn’t gone to put the kettle on. Rach said he should just tell her...
Dave - Listen, if there wasn’t a reason for putting “Bombay 1952” across the screen at the start, then they wouldn’t put it there...thus eliminating the need for the question “where are they?”
(Chris laughs)
The pair of them moaned about Sophie and Emma discussing their day at work just as a film starts (no excuse), and also agreed that chatting on the CORDLESS phone while the film is on in the same room is a criminal offence.
Rachel - That’s because it’s easy to watch and talk at the same time
Dave - no no no no, I think it’s to do with the fact that it’s genetically proven that women can’t concentrate like we can...
Rachel - No, it’s genetically proven that women can do two things at the same time
Chris - no no no no no, it’s genetically proven that a woman has to be annoying at the most important point of the day
Dave said just like on Saturday afternoons when Sky or Five Live are going round the grounds, and Emma only seems to talk when they are at Everton. The only report he really cares about and she chooses that moment to tell him how much the mince was today in the supermarket.
Aled - Dave you really need to vent this clearly cos you’re very worked up...
Dave (sounding funny) - Oh it does my head in Aled!!
(Rach laughs)
**(over Shapeshifters intro)
Chris - Can I just say after all that though...
Dave (interrupting) - Love them very much!!
Chris - ...I wouldn’t change her for the world!1
Rach - Oh you two!**
Also today, a couple of cracking stories from Chris after half past 8. The first from Leeds last Friday about how show exec Fergus Dudley fooled Comedy Dave into thinking he had a photographic memory. Along with Will and Dom they were in the boozer, and Chris claimed non footy fan Ferg had memorised all the live Sky games from August with dates and kick off times too. Dave didn’t believe him and got the list out of his wallet to test Ferg with, to which he proceeded to get correct after correct answer...and Daves face went paler and paler. This went on for around 20 minutes until Dave got up to go to the bar and realised that Ferg had simply been reading all the fixtures off the huge poster behind his head. Genius. Everyone in on the gag but Dave too. The second story was even better - and involves Chris’s unnamed mate. He basically has a major problem with people parking outside his house, and gets back from the pub late one night to find a car sitting there. He’d had a few drinks, so pops his pizza box and his kebab on top of the roof of the car while he let all 4 tyres down. He then goes inside and eats the rest of his pizza.
Dave (laughs) - That’ll learn em
Next morning the unnamed bloke wakes up on the sofa and finds a bit of a kerfuffle going on in the house. His girlfriend comes in, he apologises for getting in late yesterday - and then asks her what’s going on. She said a friend of hers had just stayed over overnight and was now really upset as someone had let all 4 tyres down on her car.
(whole team laugh)
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
ROB a lorry driver from Stratford Upon Avon 2
MARTIN a funny courier from erm...somewhere 1
Daves Tedious Link
The Charlatans One To Another - A charlatan is somebody who might try and pull the wool over your eyes, unlike a sheep which has wool all over it’s body - Body Rock was a 1985 hit for Maria Vidal - Vidal Sassoon is a famous hairdresser who also makes shampoo - Shampoo got to number 11 in 1994 with the song Trouble - The word “trouble” is often associated with the word “strife”, as in “trouble and strife”, which means wife in * rhyming slang - If you swap the A in slang for an I you get “sling”, which is probably what you’d wear round your neck if you’d broken your arm and had it in a plaster cast - Cast had a top 8 hit in 1996 with Sandstorm - Sandstorms are common in desert areas where camels are able to close their noses and other orifices to stop the sand getting in - and this clever body protection trick is I suppose a bit like sumo wrestlers, who are apparently able to withdraw their testicles to prevent them from getting injured if they get clattered in the knackers - if you add the word “yard” to knackers you get Knacker’s Yard, which is where old horses go to die - Die rhymes with fly, and when you think about the word “fly” in the context of great records you like to hear at about 9 o’clock in the morning, you think of Learn To Fly by the Foo Fighters - Which links us to the Foo Fighters and Learn To Fly
ANOTHER LEGENDARY LINE FROM ALED
**The Welsh one was fascinated by Dave’s claims that sumo wrestlers can “withdraw” their testicles to prevent them being “clattered in the knackers” (which is incidentally going to be the title of mouldylookinstain’s debut album):
Aled - Is it like just sucking them back in?
Dave - yeah almost, and the muscles...
Chris (interrupting) - Do you wanna re phrase that Aled?
(Rach, Chris, Dave and Aled laugh)
Aled - Sorry**
MINI MOYLES UPDATE:>>> (Thanks to Jono)
- Chris was due to try out his new pedometer on his walk home today (if he could work out how to programme it)
- Dave is hoping to get his Sky working and is also erecting a TV stand later
- Aled starts “Sexy September” with a visit to his new personal trainer
- Rach is setting up a new stereo she’s borrowed from her mate and also going to the gym too..
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8354">> Wednesday 1st September 04 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
Happy September everyone - and an excellent show to kick off the month with today. Chris began by saying he had a curry last night. Not in itself earth shattering news, but not really a good idea when you do an early morning radio show *belch*. The blame was placed on buttylicious Longman, who’s down in London for a couple of days - him and his American friend Karen. They were on the London Eye yesterday (he’s scared of heights - ironic as he’s 7ft 10 or summat), and this morning in the world famous Radio One studios themselves. Longman only said a couple of words on the air though as Rachel had put a gagging order on him. In fact she even dedicated a song to him as well - Leave (Get Out) by Jo Jo. Nice. This all after his infamous Austrian specials link a few weeks back remember. Needless to say the team were going for something from a more traditional menu for their breakfast today. Aled was taking early orders at 7, and Chris told him to find the guy in the caf who put brown sauce on his bacon yesterday and give him a piece of his mind. Moyles claimed he had vomited yesterday afternoon cos of that, and kept it in a plaggy bag for the guy to see. Hmm, a lovely image to wake up to:
Chris - Actually that’s how I got banned from the one round the corner isn’t it?...
(pause)
Dave (laughing) - It is the one round the corner..
(Jules and Dom laugh)
Chris - Oh no not again
(news stab as Dave laughs)
The team are using this place again while their usual caf is closed for refurbishment. Aled said Chris could slag them off as much as he liked as they listen to crappy tinpot local London radio in there anyway - whereas in the old caf they have Moyles on in the morning...although granted under Aled’s orders. Dom hadn’t ordered a sarnie today - he’d just gone for the “healthy” option of a banana and an apple. Or so we thought. Apparently he was only gonna have a banana, but Rach had a go at him before the show and told him apples were much healthier. When the story was re told on the air she was claiming otherwise though, and her and Chris had an argument about it after the 7:30 news. He said she was being such a mardy arsed cow today...
Chris - Will you please, for the love of Christ and everyone who listens to this show and everyone who works with you...go and get laid!!
(Rach gasps and Jules laughs)
Chris - Just go let it out!! Go out, get drunk, find a man, have your fun and get it out your system. Honestly, that’s what Dave does...
(Dom laughs)
Dave said not anymore. Good mornin’. Chris told Rach to chill, stop being so fired up and just feel the tranquillity of the show. He said he wanted to see her turn that frown upside down:
Dave - Let’s see some teeth
(Rach laughs)
(That’ll be Rachel then)
ONE BIG WEEKEND IN BIRMINGHAM - AND ANOTHER NEW PARODY:
This is what being on Breakfast is all about - big announcements like this. I could tell Chris was loving the responsibility - he even sounded a bit like a DJ at one point. So at 8:15 (over a stupidly remixed Fatboy Slim bed) - Chris revealed the line up for the forthcoming OBW in Birmingham on September 18th & 19th. It’ll be in Perry Park with (as usual) a dance day on the Saturday and a bands day on the Sunday. 1200 free tickets for both days will be given away by JK and Joel at Millennium Point in Brum - that being directly a week before both gigs on Saturday the 11th and Sunday the 12th of September. This time around there is a slight change to OBW though, as there’ll be 2 tents to choose from on both days. Performing on the Dance Day on Saturday will be the following... *deep breath*: DJ Tiesto, Judge Jules, Fatboy Slim, Deep Dish, Nic Fanciulli, Josh “Rinse” Roberts, Darren Emerson, Xpress 2, Behrouz, Yousef, Groove Armada, David Guetta, Mylo, Mutiny and...Dave Pearce (ha ha). Performing on the bands day on Sunday will be the following: Joss Stone, Lostprophets, Damien Rice, Razorlight, goldielookinchain, Natasha Bedingfield, Estelle, The Music, Kasabian, The 22 - 20's, 13 Senses, Skinnyman, The Departure, Exist and Radio One’s Unsigned Band The Broken Dolls. Presenters include Chris, Jo Whiley, Colin and Edith, Zane Lowe, Huw Stephens, Steve Lamacq, Vernon, Scott Mills, JK & Joel, Spoony and Nemone (so basically the whole station).
Radio 1 ONLINE Birmingham OBW Mini Site - Click here
Radio 1 ONLINE Birmingham OBW Ticket Info - Click here
(That link includes details btw of how you can win tickets Online, and of how you can win tickets thanks to this fella: Mr Mini Moyles).
One as yet unconfirmed act performing on the Sunday are “Mouldy Lookin’ Stain”, the breakfast shows newly formed rap combo to rival GLC. It’s Chris, Dave and Dom (Heavy C and The Boys) - and following the success of their freestyle rapping yesterday, today saw the world exclusive first (and second) play of their debut single “Dogs Don’t Kill People, Rabbits Do”. The team were all kitted out in their bling for the performance (albeit pre recorded) - all that is except Comedy Dave, who was still in his cardigan.
Dave - It’s not a cardigan...it’s a modern jumper
Chris - Alright fine
(him, Rach and Dom laugh)
I thought the parody was OK. Not amazing by any means but still worth a listen when the Sound Vault is up and running again. I’ve e-mailed the full lyrics over to Harris, who will add them to the lyrics pages asap. In the meantime though people, here’s a sample of the lyrics (the bands manager Rachel Jones said their performance made her so proud):
"If I could I’d be top of my class, I’d take that rabbit and pop a cap in his ass,
The truth is out, the rabbit is risen,
But these dam rabbits don’t ever go to prison,
Bugs Bunny RIP, even Roger Rabbit’s in the cemetery...
Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do,
Summon Elma Fudd, woo woo woo!!
Dogs don’t kill people, rabbits do,
Summon Elma Fudd, woo woo woo!!"
ROONEY, KEV GEOGHEGAN, BUZZ OFF AND GIRLS ALOUD:>>>>
(The sight Dave didn’t want to see - Rooney signs for United)
Chris said he felt for Dave this morning. He was with him. Vitty wanted Wayne to stay in the bosom of his beloved Toffee family, but it just wasn’t to be. Dave said it made him sick - seeing all those fat mancs outside Old Trafford with Rooney on their backs yesterday. He said it might have been OK if they’d got a good price for him, which he wasn’t sure they had (comedy moment of the year for me so far - Dave on Newsbeat talking about Rooney yesterday). Chris said it’s not the end of the world - he had to go through it with Alan Smith. He then did his crap Mancunian accent again - cue another barrage of text abuse, only this time from this part of the world and not from Scotland. I say that cos only a few minutes beforehand Chris and Dave had been taking the pee out of the way Dom lookalike and Scottish Entertainment Newsbeater Kev Geoghegan pronounces “Wednesday”...
Dave - We didn’t do anything about the Scots. We just said that Kev Geoghegan is Scottish, and that’s perhaps why he pronounces Wed-erns-day the way he does...
(Chris laughs)
Dave - ..I’m probably not helping here am I?
(The man in question - Kev Geoghegan)
Buzz Off this morning was the number 4 September 87 U2 classic Where The Streets Have No Name. The listener response was one of the highest ever - 92% Buzz On, and Aled, Rach and Dave all buzzed in within the final five seconds of the tune. And what a tune. One that doesn’t stand up quite so well in comparison is Girls Aloud’s new one “Love Machine”, although it is yet another good pop song from them (I don’t think they’ve released a bad one yet). All five are of course also very easy on the eye, but Chris thinks particularly so at the moment. Hard to disagree. Dave ran Chris through who they all are (and where they’re from), as they viewed a pic of them on their website. The pic they were looking at is basically the one below, and apparently some very nice new shots of them are out in FHM this month (in shops tomorrow). After finding out she’s from Bradford, Chris said that Kimberley is his favourite one in the band. Dave said his favourite very much depends on his mood, but at the moment Nadine is floating his boat. He however added that they’re “all talented ladies”. Rach agreed - she loves them all equally (what a surprise).
(Left To Right: Nadine from Derry, Nicola from Runcorn, Sarah from Stockport, Kimberley from Bradford and Cheryl from Newcastle)
HALF TIME: WOMEN WATCHING FILMS - A FEW COMPLAINTS:>>>>
(Dave and Chris - Pioneers of non sexist radio)
Chris was talking about the fact that he is yet to see Kill Bill 2 when the half time link started picking up pace and turning into a Chris & Dave rant about women. Chris said cos him and Sophie don’t live together, he is constantly waiting for her before he watches films. For example, they couldn’t go see Spiderman 2 at the cinema cos she fell asleep and didn’t see the end of Spiderman 1. She also stops him from watching his DVD’s until she’s there - an example being Gangs Of New York, which he’s now had on DVD for over 2 years without watching. It’s alright, can’t say it’s worth 2 years wait though. A more recent example of this is Lost In Translation, which Sophie kept telling Chris not to watch yet...only for her to go and see it with her mum while he was in Leeds at the weekend. A bit out of order. Dave asked Chris if “his” does the really annoying thing that Emma does - goes out to make a cup of tea while the credits roll at the start of a film - and therefore misses the crucial first five minutes where the scene and setting are established. She then comes back in 5 minutes later asking where they are, and Dave said she’d bloody know if she hadn’t gone to put the kettle on. Rach said he should just tell her...
Dave - Listen, if there wasn’t a reason for putting “Bombay 1952” across the screen at the start, then they wouldn’t put it there...thus eliminating the need for the question “where are they?”
(Chris laughs)
The pair of them moaned about Sophie and Emma discussing their day at work just as a film starts (no excuse), and also agreed that chatting on the CORDLESS phone while the film is on in the same room is a criminal offence.
Rachel - That’s because it’s easy to watch and talk at the same time
Dave - no no no no, I think it’s to do with the fact that it’s genetically proven that women can’t concentrate like we can...
Rachel - No, it’s genetically proven that women can do two things at the same time
Chris - no no no no no, it’s genetically proven that a woman has to be annoying at the most important point of the day
Dave said just like on Saturday afternoons when Sky or Five Live are going round the grounds, and Emma only seems to talk when they are at Everton. The only report he really cares about and she chooses that moment to tell him how much the mince was today in the supermarket.
Aled - Dave you really need to vent this clearly cos you’re very worked up...
Dave (sounding funny) - Oh it does my head in Aled!!
(Rach laughs)
**(over Shapeshifters intro)
Chris - Can I just say after all that though...
Dave (interrupting) - Love them very much!!
Chris - ...I wouldn’t change her for the world!1
Rach - Oh you two!**
Also today, a couple of cracking stories from Chris after half past 8. The first from Leeds last Friday about how show exec Fergus Dudley fooled Comedy Dave into thinking he had a photographic memory. Along with Will and Dom they were in the boozer, and Chris claimed non footy fan Ferg had memorised all the live Sky games from August with dates and kick off times too. Dave didn’t believe him and got the list out of his wallet to test Ferg with, to which he proceeded to get correct after correct answer...and Daves face went paler and paler. This went on for around 20 minutes until Dave got up to go to the bar and realised that Ferg had simply been reading all the fixtures off the huge poster behind his head. Genius. Everyone in on the gag but Dave too. The second story was even better - and involves Chris’s unnamed mate. He basically has a major problem with people parking outside his house, and gets back from the pub late one night to find a car sitting there. He’d had a few drinks, so pops his pizza box and his kebab on top of the roof of the car while he let all 4 tyres down. He then goes inside and eats the rest of his pizza.
Dave (laughs) - That’ll learn em
Next morning the unnamed bloke wakes up on the sofa and finds a bit of a kerfuffle going on in the house. His girlfriend comes in, he apologises for getting in late yesterday - and then asks her what’s going on. She said a friend of hers had just stayed over overnight and was now really upset as someone had let all 4 tyres down on her car.
(whole team laugh)
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
ROB a lorry driver from Stratford Upon Avon 2
MARTIN a funny courier from erm...somewhere 1
Daves Tedious Link
The Charlatans One To Another - A charlatan is somebody who might try and pull the wool over your eyes, unlike a sheep which has wool all over it’s body - Body Rock was a 1985 hit for Maria Vidal - Vidal Sassoon is a famous hairdresser who also makes shampoo - Shampoo got to number 11 in 1994 with the song Trouble - The word “trouble” is often associated with the word “strife”, as in “trouble and strife”, which means wife in * rhyming slang - If you swap the A in slang for an I you get “sling”, which is probably what you’d wear round your neck if you’d broken your arm and had it in a plaster cast - Cast had a top 8 hit in 1996 with Sandstorm - Sandstorms are common in desert areas where camels are able to close their noses and other orifices to stop the sand getting in - and this clever body protection trick is I suppose a bit like sumo wrestlers, who are apparently able to withdraw their testicles to prevent them from getting injured if they get clattered in the knackers - if you add the word “yard” to knackers you get Knacker’s Yard, which is where old horses go to die - Die rhymes with fly, and when you think about the word “fly” in the context of great records you like to hear at about 9 o’clock in the morning, you think of Learn To Fly by the Foo Fighters - Which links us to the Foo Fighters and Learn To Fly
ANOTHER LEGENDARY LINE FROM ALED
**The Welsh one was fascinated by Dave’s claims that sumo wrestlers can “withdraw” their testicles to prevent them being “clattered in the knackers” (which is incidentally going to be the title of mouldylookinstain’s debut album):
Aled - Is it like just sucking them back in?
Dave - yeah almost, and the muscles...
Chris (interrupting) - Do you wanna re phrase that Aled?
(Rach, Chris, Dave and Aled laugh)
Aled - Sorry**
MINI MOYLES UPDATE:>>> (Thanks to Jono)
- Chris was due to try out his new pedometer on his walk home today (if he could work out how to programme it)
- Dave is hoping to get his Sky working and is also erecting a TV stand later
- Aled starts “Sexy September” with a visit to his new personal trainer
- Rach is setting up a new stereo she’s borrowed from her mate and also going to the gym too..
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8354">> Wednesday 1st September 04 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
