chrismoyles.net
- Sat Apr 30, 2005 6:25 pm
#242120
Phantom Planet- California; NEWSBEAT; The Killers- Smile Like You Mean It; Natalie Imbruglia- Shiver; Studio B- I See Girls; Black Eyed Peas- Don't Phunk With My Heart; Jamoroqui- Canned Heat; Jennifer Lopez & Fat Joe- Can't Hold Me Down; Kaiser Chiefs- Oh My God; NEWSBEAT; Gorrilaz- Feel Good Inc; Gwen Stefani- What You Waiting For; Praise Cats- Shined On Me; NEWSBEAT; Kylie Minogue- Can't Get You Out Of My Head; Athelte- Half Light; Rooster- You're So Right For Me; TEDIOUS LINK; Snoop Dogg feat. Justin Timberlake- Signs; Weezer- Beverly Hills; Lemar- Dance With U; NEWSBEAT; Nelly- Hot In Herre; The Ceasers- Jerk It Out; Akon- Lonely
"Oooh, yes please!"
"I'm not touching Ray Stubbs!"
"It's only open to men!"
Not even firmly past the big Radio 1 hour of seven am and already the Aled bashing begins, with Chris claiming the shades Aled is sporting on this fine morning (lest we forget, also deep down in the basement of the Radio 1 building, a dark basement, that is) are reminiscent of those famously worn by Jackie O. We soon discover Aled has injured his eye with a piece of unidentified elastic, at this stage suspected to be an elastic band, but not yet confirmed. Enquiries continued throughout the show, and we were kept fully updated. The entire team were consulted over the seriousness of the injury and the need for said glam shades, and very soon Chris realised he was in fact working with a load of wussy girls.
Rachel's not here today (women will know why), and so Producer 'Greyhead' Will is in her shoes, which evidently are a little bit tight (cue 'tongue out' gags later in the show, which inevitably caused much amusement for the comedy trio). We learn that Rachel fell down the stairs and so was unable to attend the broadcast- no, wait she didn't. They're only joking. Will only got the call at ten pm, and Dom asks the burning questions- what pub were you in at the time, Will? He wasn't, actually. Shock horror.
Is Aled wearing Elton John style shades? No, in fact he's not- they're not garish, just a bit girlie. But then Chris does work with a load of girls, doesn't he? Someone suggests the true reason for Aled's fashionable edition is the fact that he may be blinded by his ridiculously white teeth, as seen on ToTP this time last week.
More Aled and his eye chat follows, with accusations of 24-hour casualty being closed at four in the morning- insert some joke about the general election and hospital targets here- Aled's hair looking remarkably like a toilet brush having been affected by the trauma he's suffered at the hands of the evil piece of stray elastic.
So, what did the team get up to last night? Well, Dave, party animal that he is, retired to bed at 8. Emma was out, and so when the wife is away, the husband will....go to bed early, as a treat. As you do. The talk turns from bedtime to Chris' very loud wake up call this morning, courtesy of Will, who obviously doesn't know the sacred nature of early mornings. Not only that, but he fell victim to that odd custom of actually whispering back, despite having no need when Chris was talking to him. Cue lame joke of the day;
"Why has George Michael got chocolate all over his mouth? Because it was a Careless Whispa!"
Groan.
Chocolate talk then commences in earnest, and somehow turns to the Turkish delight advert. And, more importantly, what is actually in a Turkish Delight? Perfumed gelatin, Dave claims. That's a new one to me. It's also revealed, embarassingly so for Mr. Kinder, that in his mind, the 'full of Eastern promise' Arabians wear curly slippers, just like Aladdin. Oh well, he can dream.
Radio 1's Big Weekend
So, Radio 1's Big Weekend. Oh yes, at least another week to go of subtle as a brick mentions every twenty minutes, as Chris himself said. Today, they're giving away a weekend pair of tickets for the Sunderland event, with listeners having to complete the tagline, "If you don't give me Radio 1 Big Weekend tickets, I will..."
Suggestions offered included 'I Will Young,' 'I will go to the Sunderland match', and 'I Will Kinder.' But in the end, 'I will survive' clinches the tickets, and Paul is off to R1BW, so congratulations to him.
Dave knows the real reason behind Aled's eye damage, but he's not saying. Meanwhile, Aled, the poor lamb, is still hiding behind his glasses, looking strangely like Neo, Dom notes- no, Chris argues, he's not that cool. He looks more like Paula Radcliffe- in fact, he is uncannily like her. He even had a wee in the corridor on the way in. On later reflection, its decided he looks like a dodgy French club DJ, DJ Aled. Aled himself is convinced he looks like Dame Edna, but he's reassured that he doesn't- they're not that bad. The look he's sporting, he can pull it off, Dave declares. And it's twelve minutes to 8.......
Ticket Giveaway
Football ticket giveaway time- much ticket giving away going on today, I've noticed- and it's for the Bolton v Chelsea game, for the Bolton fans. It's all very random, apparently. Chris and Carrie have a short altercation over the blue tears Chelsea might be crying if they lose- this doesn't mean a lot to me, but I'm assuming Chelsea need to win this game- but Carrie couldn't be mad at Chris, not forever. It soon becomes apparent that no one on the text can spell Boltan/Balton/Boton, and Dave is furious that all the Moyles show fans could be so stupid. But on later inspection, it seems Greyhead is to blame- he lost the file with the correct Bolton texts in. Now who's the stupid one.
After some Gwen 'Stefanny' talk, Aled's story has now changed, and Chris' suspicions are beginning to be raised. Was it elastic from underwear? Ladies underwear, perchance? No, not ladies underwear! Of course not. Despite Chris' heavy interrogation, Aled just won't fold. He says he'll tell Chris at one minute past ten. Fat lot of use that is for us. Maybe Aled was trying on a ladies thong, admiring himself in the mirror when he inadvertantly attempted to look at the label and thong-flicked himself in the eye, thus causing said injury. Oh, how the mind works. But no, of course, that's not the case. And before you ask, it wasn't a condom either. If you wanted to know, you had to text 'Aled, you perve!' to the studio number. I wonder how many actually did.
The Chris Moyles Pub Quiz in Sunderland
The Chris Moyles Pub Quiz in Sunderland is on. There are 40 tables to be given away, and it's going to be held at the (Bondage) Bonded Warehouse on the 6th of May. And Dave will be there in his gimp suit. Well, it is the Bondage Warehouse after all. They'll be giving away five tables away every day next week, from Tuesday. Yet more competitions, just what's needed, because they're so few and far between right now. Last time, Chris was great. Although he did have Clorets. So, in honour of such an event, Chris is having No Drink Til Sunderland! Five days in already and he's surviving. Everyone else thinks it's unhealthy and that he's indulging in the binge drinking culture, but Chris argues that Dom's the unhealthy one, as he's on the wine all the time. Last night, the night before....
Next, Ray Stubbs was on the phone, doing their Score Seven (or rather this week, Score Six) predictions. After some voice over chat following this, it was Tedious Link time, with Dave taking us from Prince's classic Raspberry Berret to Leftfield- Open Up. Half time ramble sees the team whoring themselves out for voice overs, and discussing the prolificity of the other Radio 1 DJ's in the voice over arena. Chris needs the money from them, you see. For his island, which he's chipping in to buy with a bunch of blokes he knows. On the subject of last night's Scott Mills show and the voiceover debate with Zane, where all this stemmed from, we find out who the others have been mistaken for, but it's their loss- they're the ones missing out on the money, poor them.
It's nine twenty three, and what does Will want to do? Discover exactly what happened to Aled of course! Like the poor soap opera it is, as Chris observes. We've got all the facts, we just need to solve the mystery. He was naked. Alone. In his bedroom. Chris won't be proud of him, you know, and it's not disgusting, promise. Was it rubber gloves? This segway was genius radio, if slightly humiliating for poor Aled - was he in bed, naked, with a rubber glove? Oh. Dear. Was some good old fake tanning involved, maybe? The mind boggles.
After Newsbeat, Chris decides Aled needs some support, and encourages everyone to ring his office or indeed mobile number- well not quite, he was just being silly. But, as Dom quite rightly points out, Chris wasn't the one lying naked on his bed with sunglasses on twanging himself in the eye! Twanging with elastic, that is. But Chris thinks Aled's just spinning it out (pardon the pun) and the tale isn't as rude and funny as he's impying it to be, and if that's the case, Chris has got a story and a half to tell about Aled, oh yes.
Carpark Catchphrase
Roy's as blunt as ever this morning, in discussing Aled's incident. Today, it's Sue from Doncaster who's a bit confident and a trollope versus Francis from Woking, who in a twist of fate, delivers letters (he's a postman) to Will's house. The winning catchphrases are;
Strike while the iron is hot (Francis);
Sleeping like a log (Sue);
Egg on your face (Francis)
The over all victor was Francis (thank god), so well done to him!
In Addition......
Natalie Imbruglia invited Chris for a drink
Gwen 'Stefanny'
Dave's on Suckin' Diesel
The Ceasers- it's Aled's tune!
The secret of comedy is timing.
Listen Again
So, just what were the concrete facts over Aled's indiscretion? What actually happened? After a re-cap on the possibilities, we discover that Aled sleeps in the afternoon, and because he finds this difficult, he wears a sleep blindfold 'eyepads'. As he was that previous afternoon, when the phone rang and he attempted to rip them off, pinging them back in his eye. Everyone's disappointed. But it's not Aled's fault- it was Chris and the nation built it up! And that's the truth. So Chris turns the tables and decides to share with us, dear listener, a little story from Portugal.
While Chappers, Dave and Chris spent their free time playing football and boozing, Aled decided to have a day out on his own, on a hot beach. No, make that a naked beach. Let's be honest, it was a nudist beach. But he did keep his pants on. Honest. But that's not the best story. Where did he visit when he went missing for a short time? A place recommended by one of the ladies on that 'hot' beach, funnily enough. We'll never know. But we can take a good guess.
"Oooh, yes please!"
"I'm not touching Ray Stubbs!"
"It's only open to men!"
Not even firmly past the big Radio 1 hour of seven am and already the Aled bashing begins, with Chris claiming the shades Aled is sporting on this fine morning (lest we forget, also deep down in the basement of the Radio 1 building, a dark basement, that is) are reminiscent of those famously worn by Jackie O. We soon discover Aled has injured his eye with a piece of unidentified elastic, at this stage suspected to be an elastic band, but not yet confirmed. Enquiries continued throughout the show, and we were kept fully updated. The entire team were consulted over the seriousness of the injury and the need for said glam shades, and very soon Chris realised he was in fact working with a load of wussy girls.
Rachel's not here today (women will know why), and so Producer 'Greyhead' Will is in her shoes, which evidently are a little bit tight (cue 'tongue out' gags later in the show, which inevitably caused much amusement for the comedy trio). We learn that Rachel fell down the stairs and so was unable to attend the broadcast- no, wait she didn't. They're only joking. Will only got the call at ten pm, and Dom asks the burning questions- what pub were you in at the time, Will? He wasn't, actually. Shock horror.
Is Aled wearing Elton John style shades? No, in fact he's not- they're not garish, just a bit girlie. But then Chris does work with a load of girls, doesn't he? Someone suggests the true reason for Aled's fashionable edition is the fact that he may be blinded by his ridiculously white teeth, as seen on ToTP this time last week.
More Aled and his eye chat follows, with accusations of 24-hour casualty being closed at four in the morning- insert some joke about the general election and hospital targets here- Aled's hair looking remarkably like a toilet brush having been affected by the trauma he's suffered at the hands of the evil piece of stray elastic.
So, what did the team get up to last night? Well, Dave, party animal that he is, retired to bed at 8. Emma was out, and so when the wife is away, the husband will....go to bed early, as a treat. As you do. The talk turns from bedtime to Chris' very loud wake up call this morning, courtesy of Will, who obviously doesn't know the sacred nature of early mornings. Not only that, but he fell victim to that odd custom of actually whispering back, despite having no need when Chris was talking to him. Cue lame joke of the day;
"Why has George Michael got chocolate all over his mouth? Because it was a Careless Whispa!"
Groan.
Chocolate talk then commences in earnest, and somehow turns to the Turkish delight advert. And, more importantly, what is actually in a Turkish Delight? Perfumed gelatin, Dave claims. That's a new one to me. It's also revealed, embarassingly so for Mr. Kinder, that in his mind, the 'full of Eastern promise' Arabians wear curly slippers, just like Aladdin. Oh well, he can dream.
Radio 1's Big Weekend
So, Radio 1's Big Weekend. Oh yes, at least another week to go of subtle as a brick mentions every twenty minutes, as Chris himself said. Today, they're giving away a weekend pair of tickets for the Sunderland event, with listeners having to complete the tagline, "If you don't give me Radio 1 Big Weekend tickets, I will..."
Suggestions offered included 'I Will Young,' 'I will go to the Sunderland match', and 'I Will Kinder.' But in the end, 'I will survive' clinches the tickets, and Paul is off to R1BW, so congratulations to him.
Dave knows the real reason behind Aled's eye damage, but he's not saying. Meanwhile, Aled, the poor lamb, is still hiding behind his glasses, looking strangely like Neo, Dom notes- no, Chris argues, he's not that cool. He looks more like Paula Radcliffe- in fact, he is uncannily like her. He even had a wee in the corridor on the way in. On later reflection, its decided he looks like a dodgy French club DJ, DJ Aled. Aled himself is convinced he looks like Dame Edna, but he's reassured that he doesn't- they're not that bad. The look he's sporting, he can pull it off, Dave declares. And it's twelve minutes to 8.......
Ticket Giveaway
Football ticket giveaway time- much ticket giving away going on today, I've noticed- and it's for the Bolton v Chelsea game, for the Bolton fans. It's all very random, apparently. Chris and Carrie have a short altercation over the blue tears Chelsea might be crying if they lose- this doesn't mean a lot to me, but I'm assuming Chelsea need to win this game- but Carrie couldn't be mad at Chris, not forever. It soon becomes apparent that no one on the text can spell Boltan/Balton/Boton, and Dave is furious that all the Moyles show fans could be so stupid. But on later inspection, it seems Greyhead is to blame- he lost the file with the correct Bolton texts in. Now who's the stupid one.
After some Gwen 'Stefanny' talk, Aled's story has now changed, and Chris' suspicions are beginning to be raised. Was it elastic from underwear? Ladies underwear, perchance? No, not ladies underwear! Of course not. Despite Chris' heavy interrogation, Aled just won't fold. He says he'll tell Chris at one minute past ten. Fat lot of use that is for us. Maybe Aled was trying on a ladies thong, admiring himself in the mirror when he inadvertantly attempted to look at the label and thong-flicked himself in the eye, thus causing said injury. Oh, how the mind works. But no, of course, that's not the case. And before you ask, it wasn't a condom either. If you wanted to know, you had to text 'Aled, you perve!' to the studio number. I wonder how many actually did.
The Chris Moyles Pub Quiz in Sunderland
The Chris Moyles Pub Quiz in Sunderland is on. There are 40 tables to be given away, and it's going to be held at the (Bondage) Bonded Warehouse on the 6th of May. And Dave will be there in his gimp suit. Well, it is the Bondage Warehouse after all. They'll be giving away five tables away every day next week, from Tuesday. Yet more competitions, just what's needed, because they're so few and far between right now. Last time, Chris was great. Although he did have Clorets. So, in honour of such an event, Chris is having No Drink Til Sunderland! Five days in already and he's surviving. Everyone else thinks it's unhealthy and that he's indulging in the binge drinking culture, but Chris argues that Dom's the unhealthy one, as he's on the wine all the time. Last night, the night before....
Next, Ray Stubbs was on the phone, doing their Score Seven (or rather this week, Score Six) predictions. After some voice over chat following this, it was Tedious Link time, with Dave taking us from Prince's classic Raspberry Berret to Leftfield- Open Up. Half time ramble sees the team whoring themselves out for voice overs, and discussing the prolificity of the other Radio 1 DJ's in the voice over arena. Chris needs the money from them, you see. For his island, which he's chipping in to buy with a bunch of blokes he knows. On the subject of last night's Scott Mills show and the voiceover debate with Zane, where all this stemmed from, we find out who the others have been mistaken for, but it's their loss- they're the ones missing out on the money, poor them.
It's nine twenty three, and what does Will want to do? Discover exactly what happened to Aled of course! Like the poor soap opera it is, as Chris observes. We've got all the facts, we just need to solve the mystery. He was naked. Alone. In his bedroom. Chris won't be proud of him, you know, and it's not disgusting, promise. Was it rubber gloves? This segway was genius radio, if slightly humiliating for poor Aled - was he in bed, naked, with a rubber glove? Oh. Dear. Was some good old fake tanning involved, maybe? The mind boggles.
After Newsbeat, Chris decides Aled needs some support, and encourages everyone to ring his office or indeed mobile number- well not quite, he was just being silly. But, as Dom quite rightly points out, Chris wasn't the one lying naked on his bed with sunglasses on twanging himself in the eye! Twanging with elastic, that is. But Chris thinks Aled's just spinning it out (pardon the pun) and the tale isn't as rude and funny as he's impying it to be, and if that's the case, Chris has got a story and a half to tell about Aled, oh yes.
Carpark Catchphrase
Roy's as blunt as ever this morning, in discussing Aled's incident. Today, it's Sue from Doncaster who's a bit confident and a trollope versus Francis from Woking, who in a twist of fate, delivers letters (he's a postman) to Will's house. The winning catchphrases are;
Strike while the iron is hot (Francis);
Sleeping like a log (Sue);
Egg on your face (Francis)
The over all victor was Francis (thank god), so well done to him!
In Addition......
Natalie Imbruglia invited Chris for a drink
Gwen 'Stefanny'
Dave's on Suckin' Diesel
The Ceasers- it's Aled's tune!
The secret of comedy is timing.
Listen Again
So, just what were the concrete facts over Aled's indiscretion? What actually happened? After a re-cap on the possibilities, we discover that Aled sleeps in the afternoon, and because he finds this difficult, he wears a sleep blindfold 'eyepads'. As he was that previous afternoon, when the phone rang and he attempted to rip them off, pinging them back in his eye. Everyone's disappointed. But it's not Aled's fault- it was Chris and the nation built it up! And that's the truth. So Chris turns the tables and decides to share with us, dear listener, a little story from Portugal.
While Chappers, Dave and Chris spent their free time playing football and boozing, Aled decided to have a day out on his own, on a hot beach. No, make that a naked beach. Let's be honest, it was a nudist beach. But he did keep his pants on. Honest. But that's not the best story. Where did he visit when he went missing for a short time? A place recommended by one of the ladies on that 'hot' beach, funnily enough. We'll never know. But we can take a good guess.
