chrismoyles.net
- Wed Jun 22, 2005 12:01 pm
#242151
Playlist
1: Snoop Doggy Doff feat. Justin Timberlake – Signs, 2: Amerie – One Thing, 3: U2 – Elevation, 4: Gorillaz – Feelgood Inc., 5: Gavin DeGraw – I Don’t Wanna Be, 6: Foo Fighters – Best Of You, 7: Kelis – Milkshake, 8: James Blunt – Beautiful, 9: Razorlight – Somewhere Else, 10: Mark Ronson – Oo Wee, 11: The Coral – In The Morning, 12: Jamiroquai – Seven Days In Sunny June, 13: White Stripes – Blue Orchid, 14: Jamelia – Superstar, 15: Groove Armada – Superstylin’ (tedious), Kaiser Chiefs – Everyday I Love You Less And Less, Kanye West – Diamonds, Usher – So Caught Up, Charlotte Church – Crazy Chick, Hard-Fi – Hard To Beat, Tupac – Ghetto Gospel
Radio 1 for Americans
Radio 1 is apparently going to be available on normal American radio soon, via some magical satellite thing called Sirius. Not massively exciting for those of us living on these fair isles, but enough to give Chris a reason to get the echo on and talk like a kerrazy American periodically through the show:
“People in America might think I’m American ‘cos I’m fat… that’s with a PH and not an F”
And now I will mount my soapbox about it being morally reprehensible of the BBC to raise revenue by selling their shows to America (or to spend money on paying these Sirius people to broadcast their shows over there, whichever way it happened) whilst still charging us Britons the same extortionate license fee. All seems a bit rum to me. There, all done. Soapbox dismounted. Ahem.
Lady Carol of Vorderman and her Sudoku
My mum chuffing loves Sudoku. She’s an absolute sucker for a 9x9 grid with a few numbers stuck in it. It gives her a headache after a while though, her eyes aren’t what they used to be. In fact, they never used to be any cop at all really, she’s always been a bit of a squinter, my old girl. But anyway, I digress, and so early on too. Sorry.
Vorderman came in to the breakfast show today on a big promotional beano, for her new Sudoku book (can you guess what my mum’s going to be getting for her birthday next month? That’s right, a set of saucepans) amongst all the other things she’s trying to flog at the moment. Chris couldn’t understand what all the Sudoku fuss is about, and upon parting with Vorderman, wished her “good luck with (her) ridiculous book”.
Carol Vorderman then: saucy as a post-pub kebab, brainy, knocking on a bit, and not really the best interviewee in the world, I’d say. And Sudoku doesn’t make the best radio feature – it’s hardly “Fish or Fowl”. She talked a bit about her book (it has lots of puzzles and “all the tips” – how many tips can there actually be for Sudoku?), said that Dave reminds her of Richard, and had me partially bored.
She has her own range of soups, who knew that? A finger in every pie, has Vorderman. Not actual pies of course, she probably hasn’t even looked at a pie in years. Little bit sad that – she’s 44, you’d have thought she’d allow herself a Ginsters slice every now and then.
EDIT: Prior to the weekend, this review contained some vague shabby and predictable innuendo about Carol and Richard having a bit of touchy-feely after the Countdown conundrum. However, following the sad news of Whiteley's death, I decided that it was the right thing to show some respect for him, and therefore to get rid of that bit.
Richard Whiteley - the first face to appear on Channel 4, pun-master extraordinaire, all-round chuckling good guy. I say all this without irony - he really did rock.
Bless his soul, Richard Whiteley, RIP.
Carrie On Camping
Two instalments of Carrie On Camping today. Yesterday’s one about erecting (teehee) your tent was played out again early on in the show, with Day 3 (about food and drink at Glastonbury) coming (teehee again) towards the rear end (third teehee for good measure).
Yesterday’s COC (ooh, another teehee, and that one wasn’t even intentional) was far funnier than today’s. I really cannot get enough puns about it being “easier to get it up with two people”, avoiding “loose flaps blowing in the wind” and “not wanting it to go floppy when you’re inside”. I laughed until I popped.
Car Park Catchphrase
Craig the “bad plumber” from Haydock vs. Alice the twittering middle class goonette from Southampton. Catchphrases were “Rabbit the headlights” and “Handbags at dawn”, both guessed by Alice, because Craig was “the only caller even more stupid than her”.
A notably amusing aspect of today’s CPC was Alice’s friend Annie, with the manly voice, being henceforth referred to as “Mannie” and having her femininity called into question by every male member of the breakfast show team.
Additionally amusing was Chris asking Alice what she looks like so he can keep an eye out for her at Glastonbury, and Alice replying “many things”. Which was a stupid answer, and one which Chris took full advantage of by saying “what, like a mini roll? A cheese grater? One of them sink plungers?”.
Other bits
Some listeners remarked on James Blunt’s “Beautiful” (“yah byoooteefoo-uhl”) sounding like the Incredible Hulk TV show theme, which resulted in Chris explaining how that tune used to make him cry, and Dave sympathising as the tune to “The Littlest Hobo” used to have the same effect on him (and many listeners, it appears). I, too, was a “The Littlest Hobo” cryer, and I will still shed a tear or two when wailing it, drunkenly, in underpasses, at tramps. They don’t find it funny, but then, tramps are notoriously humourless. Or is that homeless?
The team received a gift from an unnamed benefactor, of a “Travel-John” each. Travel-John turns the urine into gel, and can evidently be worn inside the slack to enable effective and discreet weeing in public. Chris was impressed with his newfound ability to “clap and dance and wee at the same time, without getting it on (his) shoes”. Following an attempt to explain how the fairer sex might use the Travel John, Dave critiqued Chris’s knowledge of the lady area with the phrase “Girls don’t wee there – fact”. The obligatory yet unrelated James Brown impressions followed, with Dave almost saying “shake your willies”, and a listener texting in suggesting the team do “Papa’s Got A Brand New Wee Bag” as a Travel-John/James Brown inspired parody fandango.
1: Snoop Doggy Doff feat. Justin Timberlake – Signs, 2: Amerie – One Thing, 3: U2 – Elevation, 4: Gorillaz – Feelgood Inc., 5: Gavin DeGraw – I Don’t Wanna Be, 6: Foo Fighters – Best Of You, 7: Kelis – Milkshake, 8: James Blunt – Beautiful, 9: Razorlight – Somewhere Else, 10: Mark Ronson – Oo Wee, 11: The Coral – In The Morning, 12: Jamiroquai – Seven Days In Sunny June, 13: White Stripes – Blue Orchid, 14: Jamelia – Superstar, 15: Groove Armada – Superstylin’ (tedious), Kaiser Chiefs – Everyday I Love You Less And Less, Kanye West – Diamonds, Usher – So Caught Up, Charlotte Church – Crazy Chick, Hard-Fi – Hard To Beat, Tupac – Ghetto Gospel
Radio 1 for Americans
Radio 1 is apparently going to be available on normal American radio soon, via some magical satellite thing called Sirius. Not massively exciting for those of us living on these fair isles, but enough to give Chris a reason to get the echo on and talk like a kerrazy American periodically through the show:
“People in America might think I’m American ‘cos I’m fat… that’s with a PH and not an F”
And now I will mount my soapbox about it being morally reprehensible of the BBC to raise revenue by selling their shows to America (or to spend money on paying these Sirius people to broadcast their shows over there, whichever way it happened) whilst still charging us Britons the same extortionate license fee. All seems a bit rum to me. There, all done. Soapbox dismounted. Ahem.
Lady Carol of Vorderman and her Sudoku
My mum chuffing loves Sudoku. She’s an absolute sucker for a 9x9 grid with a few numbers stuck in it. It gives her a headache after a while though, her eyes aren’t what they used to be. In fact, they never used to be any cop at all really, she’s always been a bit of a squinter, my old girl. But anyway, I digress, and so early on too. Sorry.
Vorderman came in to the breakfast show today on a big promotional beano, for her new Sudoku book (can you guess what my mum’s going to be getting for her birthday next month? That’s right, a set of saucepans) amongst all the other things she’s trying to flog at the moment. Chris couldn’t understand what all the Sudoku fuss is about, and upon parting with Vorderman, wished her “good luck with (her) ridiculous book”.
Carol Vorderman then: saucy as a post-pub kebab, brainy, knocking on a bit, and not really the best interviewee in the world, I’d say. And Sudoku doesn’t make the best radio feature – it’s hardly “Fish or Fowl”. She talked a bit about her book (it has lots of puzzles and “all the tips” – how many tips can there actually be for Sudoku?), said that Dave reminds her of Richard, and had me partially bored.
She has her own range of soups, who knew that? A finger in every pie, has Vorderman. Not actual pies of course, she probably hasn’t even looked at a pie in years. Little bit sad that – she’s 44, you’d have thought she’d allow herself a Ginsters slice every now and then.
EDIT: Prior to the weekend, this review contained some vague shabby and predictable innuendo about Carol and Richard having a bit of touchy-feely after the Countdown conundrum. However, following the sad news of Whiteley's death, I decided that it was the right thing to show some respect for him, and therefore to get rid of that bit.
Richard Whiteley - the first face to appear on Channel 4, pun-master extraordinaire, all-round chuckling good guy. I say all this without irony - he really did rock.
Bless his soul, Richard Whiteley, RIP.
Carrie On Camping
Two instalments of Carrie On Camping today. Yesterday’s one about erecting (teehee) your tent was played out again early on in the show, with Day 3 (about food and drink at Glastonbury) coming (teehee again) towards the rear end (third teehee for good measure).
Yesterday’s COC (ooh, another teehee, and that one wasn’t even intentional) was far funnier than today’s. I really cannot get enough puns about it being “easier to get it up with two people”, avoiding “loose flaps blowing in the wind” and “not wanting it to go floppy when you’re inside”. I laughed until I popped.
Car Park Catchphrase
Craig the “bad plumber” from Haydock vs. Alice the twittering middle class goonette from Southampton. Catchphrases were “Rabbit the headlights” and “Handbags at dawn”, both guessed by Alice, because Craig was “the only caller even more stupid than her”.
A notably amusing aspect of today’s CPC was Alice’s friend Annie, with the manly voice, being henceforth referred to as “Mannie” and having her femininity called into question by every male member of the breakfast show team.
Additionally amusing was Chris asking Alice what she looks like so he can keep an eye out for her at Glastonbury, and Alice replying “many things”. Which was a stupid answer, and one which Chris took full advantage of by saying “what, like a mini roll? A cheese grater? One of them sink plungers?”.
Other bits
Some listeners remarked on James Blunt’s “Beautiful” (“yah byoooteefoo-uhl”) sounding like the Incredible Hulk TV show theme, which resulted in Chris explaining how that tune used to make him cry, and Dave sympathising as the tune to “The Littlest Hobo” used to have the same effect on him (and many listeners, it appears). I, too, was a “The Littlest Hobo” cryer, and I will still shed a tear or two when wailing it, drunkenly, in underpasses, at tramps. They don’t find it funny, but then, tramps are notoriously humourless. Or is that homeless?
The team received a gift from an unnamed benefactor, of a “Travel-John” each. Travel-John turns the urine into gel, and can evidently be worn inside the slack to enable effective and discreet weeing in public. Chris was impressed with his newfound ability to “clap and dance and wee at the same time, without getting it on (his) shoes”. Following an attempt to explain how the fairer sex might use the Travel John, Dave critiqued Chris’s knowledge of the lady area with the phrase “Girls don’t wee there – fact”. The obligatory yet unrelated James Brown impressions followed, with Dave almost saying “shake your willies”, and a listener texting in suggesting the team do “Papa’s Got A Brand New Wee Bag” as a Travel-John/James Brown inspired parody fandango.
