chrismoyles.net
- Tue May 22, 2001 9:33 pm
#241321
Hey up,
How's it going? yeah my week as been ok, there's one thing I would like to talk about today and that is FHM and thin Lizzie. Now if like me you bought FHM then you would have seen how sexy Lizzie was looking in it. Now there was one problem with the FHM though and that is that I had to buy it 3 times before I learnt that it was a good idea to laminate it. I kept on getting the pages stuck together. Now laminating it is a very good idea as you can simply wipe it clean after you have let's say abused yourself. Now if like me you were buying a mag like that for the first time and you wanted a full proof plan of getting the mag and not getting the funny looks then follow these easy steps. Get your weak weedy friend in a head lock and threaten him with your arse until he or she agrees to get it for you. Step 2 act like it is a normal mag and you are just interested in the funny anecdotes.3 - Pick up the mag and just act cool, go straight up to the shop assistant and say ''sup woman I has got dis here mag and I is gunna have some fun tonight!'', they will think you are so hard and tough they will think you have been doing this for years and think nothing of it. Or just simply walk in there and buy it and say you are buying it for your sister. Or just go for the full on frontal approach and say what you intend to do with this mag, Yes that's right tell her/him all the full gritty details of what you intend to do to it and yourself and think nothing more of it, maybe it might give the shop keeper a laugh or maybe they might ask you to come round later and you can build a full and friendly relationship with them... I know I have
Ok I walked in on Chris talking about fake watches that he wanted sent in following on from yesterday. He said that if they got the fake watches sent in that it would decrease the amount of crime. The first watch that Chris got sent in was a fake Gucci watch, spelt wrong and it didn't work anymore. It was an awful watch and Chris wasn't too pleased with it but you can still send them in if you want... or you could send the real ones to me or blow up dolls or anything to do with sex or anything except road kill of course, well maybe just a bit...
Next was Chris talking about Survivor he was playing clips from the show like the clip ''Please extinguish the fire'' which Chris put to good use in other meanings. Chris was talking about how annoying some of the people on the island were like that woman that kept on saying ''where's the kerosene, someone please find the kerosene!!!'' I must admit that this woman needed a few dry slaps and I would quite happily give her a few, no not on her ass, well maybe just once mind you well maybe a 2! Also there was meant to be a model on the show and Dave pointed out that she was dog ugly and what was she was a model of, GLOVES?!?!?!......I am a model for Y-Fronts by the way, hey it's a living and kinky...
Next Alan ''Duffel Coat'' came in from The National Lottery, he does the Lottery Balls Voice. Chris was doing his impression of him like he does nearly everyday now and Alan said he was pretty good at it and that he had heard Chris do it before and he liked it. Also apparently he drives from Manchester to London just to do it everyweek... Yeah well I walk to school damn you! Also they were talking how many different presenters the show had had over they years and that Chris didn't like that bird that did Wednesdays and he wanted her fired!.. yeah well I want a vibrating toilet, but we don't always get what we want!!!! Also they thought that Jordan might be a good presenter for the show they could call it Big Boobs And Big Balls...or they could have Jordan and me and still have the same title if you get me...
Next was Alan ''Duffel Coat'' doing the exam essentials hotline number in the way that he does
The Lottery. They were building this up for a long time and did a rehearsal of it off air and all he did was read out the Number in his Lottery voice... But I do like to Announce when my Balls drop too... Alan didn't stay around for very long and Chris was complaining that he never shut up!
Next up was a top celeb ringing the show, unfortunately Lizzie put her through to the wrong studio as they were in a different studio today and it was a while before they got talking. The top celeb was Yes FHM Poll Number 38( though I don't know why give me a piece of that top ass Beverley Turner any day) Davina McCall!!! Davina said that she loves Chris's show and that she always listens! (Chris was really chuffed about this). Chris asked Davina why she had not been on the show yet and she said that she would love to come on the show and that when Comedy Dave was doing his bit with Chappers for Charity that she had wanted to ring in to be Dave's replacement but she was too shy to call in. Davina said that she would love to come on the show and asked if he was still going out with Anna? Chris said yes but would dump Anna for her anyday! Chris was really really chuffed that Davina asked for his number so she could come in one day. Also Chris asked if they could go to The Big Brother House before it started again and Davina said that it could be arranged... Yeah so, I once went into my Big Brothers House too, well room...
Next was Chris saying that he had rung up Anna and boasted that Davina McCall had been on the show and that she had asked him for his number! Anna was angry about Chris saying that he would dump her for Davina...
Next up was Chris shouting yet again at Will, personally I really like Will as he reminds me a lot of my friend (Sam) who I like to shout at and call a useless idiot too. Chris was telling Will how he was a useless Producer and a Useless D.J and that if he wasn't careful he would be working with that Fat Sweaty Australian again... Oh no please god not the walrus !!!
Next up was Chris talking about how Dave should get a new car. Dave was talking about how his girl friend (Emma) wanted Dave to park down the street from her work because she didn't want any of her friends to see Dave's car. Dave was also talking about how his hand brake had gone and how he had to get Will to stand get a ticket to open a barrier and then pop it in as Dave came round the corner in his car to make the Barrier go up because he couldn't stop that car and he would have gone straight into it. Chris was telling Dave to get a new car but Dave still Loves his old Car... how touching...
Right well that was all I caught. Sorry if I missed any out it's just that I am kinda obsessed with my lovely FHM's. Yes and if anyone wants to send me any free FHMs then that would go down well with me!!! Also if anyone wants to send me any sex toys I am gunna try and go on the pull this week and they might come in handy... yes those Barney the Dinosaur Nipple clamps will do the job... Anyways speaking of sex I have to go do something to myself byebye
.......... opps forgot my mag........ Byebytue Opps sorry sticky hands, really should clean up after myself...
Ben
How's it going? yeah my week as been ok, there's one thing I would like to talk about today and that is FHM and thin Lizzie. Now if like me you bought FHM then you would have seen how sexy Lizzie was looking in it. Now there was one problem with the FHM though and that is that I had to buy it 3 times before I learnt that it was a good idea to laminate it. I kept on getting the pages stuck together. Now laminating it is a very good idea as you can simply wipe it clean after you have let's say abused yourself. Now if like me you were buying a mag like that for the first time and you wanted a full proof plan of getting the mag and not getting the funny looks then follow these easy steps. Get your weak weedy friend in a head lock and threaten him with your arse until he or she agrees to get it for you. Step 2 act like it is a normal mag and you are just interested in the funny anecdotes.3 - Pick up the mag and just act cool, go straight up to the shop assistant and say ''sup woman I has got dis here mag and I is gunna have some fun tonight!'', they will think you are so hard and tough they will think you have been doing this for years and think nothing of it. Or just simply walk in there and buy it and say you are buying it for your sister. Or just go for the full on frontal approach and say what you intend to do with this mag, Yes that's right tell her/him all the full gritty details of what you intend to do to it and yourself and think nothing more of it, maybe it might give the shop keeper a laugh or maybe they might ask you to come round later and you can build a full and friendly relationship with them... I know I have
Ok I walked in on Chris talking about fake watches that he wanted sent in following on from yesterday. He said that if they got the fake watches sent in that it would decrease the amount of crime. The first watch that Chris got sent in was a fake Gucci watch, spelt wrong and it didn't work anymore. It was an awful watch and Chris wasn't too pleased with it but you can still send them in if you want... or you could send the real ones to me or blow up dolls or anything to do with sex or anything except road kill of course, well maybe just a bit...
Next was Chris talking about Survivor he was playing clips from the show like the clip ''Please extinguish the fire'' which Chris put to good use in other meanings. Chris was talking about how annoying some of the people on the island were like that woman that kept on saying ''where's the kerosene, someone please find the kerosene!!!'' I must admit that this woman needed a few dry slaps and I would quite happily give her a few, no not on her ass, well maybe just once mind you well maybe a 2! Also there was meant to be a model on the show and Dave pointed out that she was dog ugly and what was she was a model of, GLOVES?!?!?!......I am a model for Y-Fronts by the way, hey it's a living and kinky...
Next Alan ''Duffel Coat'' came in from The National Lottery, he does the Lottery Balls Voice. Chris was doing his impression of him like he does nearly everyday now and Alan said he was pretty good at it and that he had heard Chris do it before and he liked it. Also apparently he drives from Manchester to London just to do it everyweek... Yeah well I walk to school damn you! Also they were talking how many different presenters the show had had over they years and that Chris didn't like that bird that did Wednesdays and he wanted her fired!.. yeah well I want a vibrating toilet, but we don't always get what we want!!!! Also they thought that Jordan might be a good presenter for the show they could call it Big Boobs And Big Balls...or they could have Jordan and me and still have the same title if you get me...
Next was Alan ''Duffel Coat'' doing the exam essentials hotline number in the way that he does
The Lottery. They were building this up for a long time and did a rehearsal of it off air and all he did was read out the Number in his Lottery voice... But I do like to Announce when my Balls drop too... Alan didn't stay around for very long and Chris was complaining that he never shut up!
Next up was a top celeb ringing the show, unfortunately Lizzie put her through to the wrong studio as they were in a different studio today and it was a while before they got talking. The top celeb was Yes FHM Poll Number 38( though I don't know why give me a piece of that top ass Beverley Turner any day) Davina McCall!!! Davina said that she loves Chris's show and that she always listens! (Chris was really chuffed about this). Chris asked Davina why she had not been on the show yet and she said that she would love to come on the show and that when Comedy Dave was doing his bit with Chappers for Charity that she had wanted to ring in to be Dave's replacement but she was too shy to call in. Davina said that she would love to come on the show and asked if he was still going out with Anna? Chris said yes but would dump Anna for her anyday! Chris was really really chuffed that Davina asked for his number so she could come in one day. Also Chris asked if they could go to The Big Brother House before it started again and Davina said that it could be arranged... Yeah so, I once went into my Big Brothers House too, well room...
Next was Chris saying that he had rung up Anna and boasted that Davina McCall had been on the show and that she had asked him for his number! Anna was angry about Chris saying that he would dump her for Davina...
Next up was Chris shouting yet again at Will, personally I really like Will as he reminds me a lot of my friend (Sam) who I like to shout at and call a useless idiot too. Chris was telling Will how he was a useless Producer and a Useless D.J and that if he wasn't careful he would be working with that Fat Sweaty Australian again... Oh no please god not the walrus !!!
Next up was Chris talking about how Dave should get a new car. Dave was talking about how his girl friend (Emma) wanted Dave to park down the street from her work because she didn't want any of her friends to see Dave's car. Dave was also talking about how his hand brake had gone and how he had to get Will to stand get a ticket to open a barrier and then pop it in as Dave came round the corner in his car to make the Barrier go up because he couldn't stop that car and he would have gone straight into it. Chris was telling Dave to get a new car but Dave still Loves his old Car... how touching...
Right well that was all I caught. Sorry if I missed any out it's just that I am kinda obsessed with my lovely FHM's. Yes and if anyone wants to send me any free FHMs then that would go down well with me!!! Also if anyone wants to send me any sex toys I am gunna try and go on the pull this week and they might come in handy... yes those Barney the Dinosaur Nipple clamps will do the job... Anyways speaking of sex I have to go do something to myself byebye
.......... opps forgot my mag........ Byebytue Opps sorry sticky hands, really should clean up after myself...
Ben
