chrismoyles.net
- Wed Oct 03, 2001 7:34 pm
#241338
Hi
Sorry about not being here last week, I bet you were all gutted!! The excitement and fun of level 2 enrolment day at university meant that I had no access to the radio. The other thing that I wanted to say is that Elbow were superb on Mark and Lard today and that ‘New-born’ is the song of the year so far and 2 words about the best thing ever, The Simpsoms Season 1 on DVD: Buy it!! Anyway lets get on with the show:
Chris Moyles Wednesday 3rd October 2001 3-5:45
Tonight at 9 on UK Bilge Camp Cops. Frank’s bought some Eau du Cologne which Bill thought was pepper spray (slight problem: Will and Dave bugger up the sketch)
Chris dedicates Camp Cops to his friend Joe
Superman Lovers- Starlight
Blink 182- All the Small Things
Chris, Will and Lizzie are arguing about who has done the new music bed for the show: basically they each told each other they’d do it. Chris then takes Dave to task about including a line from Paul the voice-over man which wasn’t read properly (guess that Banzai deal is off then?). He doesn’t say the word ‘man’ in the proper way. They also plays 2 new trails that are ‘3 are beautiful and 1 is a slag’ and ‘3 are beautiful and 1 is Lizzie’. Chris then starts a conversation about Eastenders and Lizzie says she went to a gig last night. The band who were Norwegian, were apparently ‘great’. Lizzie then tells a story about how he got Paul Thomas from the 1 World programme to dance like Britney Spears. Chris seems to have some doubts over his sexuality. Will had to stay in with the missus and Chris announces that the lager police caught him and he stayed out for the night. Dave and Chris have an argument that goes nowhere about when is the best time to do work so they put on:
Gorillaz- Rock da House
Chris then mentions that the song is the one used for the trailer for the England game on Saturday and then tries to mix them together
England vs. Greece trailer
Chris tells us that he knows the voiceover lady on the trailer. Chris then proceeds to tell some stories about drunk nights that they have had with Wendy. They seem to be skirting over some issue ( more than likely of a sexual nature) and how she only gave Chris 5 out of 10. They then pick up on the Eastenders topic with Dave telling Chris what happened on last nights show. It basically involves Kat and Zoe talking a lot and the show ended with Kat telling Zoe that her father is Uncle Harry. Chris and Dave then do their own version of the ending. Will then tries his own version of it. Chris asks Will does he know who Uncle Harry is and Will’s answer is Boon which is correct. He then wonders if Neil Morrisey is also in Eastenders but Chris tells Will hes thinking of Bob the Builder.
Roger Sanchez- Another Chance
Chris reckons that because his name is Sanchez that he should sound like a Spanish/Chinese/Greek bloke depending on how good/bad the impression got.
P Diddy- Bad Boy for Life
Chris and Dave then sing their own version of the chorus of Bad Boy for Life
3:30 News with Claire
Chris and Claire then talk about the main news story about the bus driver in America who had his throat cut and how one of the clips were of a guy more bothered about getting to work and rather than what had happened. Chris then persuades Claire that she should sit in the studio for half an hour so that it looks that she was talking to Chris the whole time and that she will have less work to do.
Alien Ant Farm- Smooth Criminal
The 1’s- Flawless
Lizzie was dancing during the last record. She offers Chris, Dave and Will the chance to dance like Britney Spears but they refuse. Chris and Dave ask Lizzie to do the dance and to help her they do their human beat box version of ‘Baby One More Time. Paul the Announcer Man tells us that today’s topic is ‘ Will sounds cute even though I’ve never seen what he looks like’. Will doesn’t have prior knowledge on this topic but Chris uses the argument from The Doors which was ‘You weren’t there man’ so Chris, Dave and Lizzie decided the topic themselves.
Afro Man- Then I got High
Chris seems quite impressed that they use the phrase skibidee-bop in that last record. Line 1 was a woman who thinks Dave is quite cute. Line 2 is a bloke who wants to know what Will actually does and reckons he’s not worth the money. Line 3 is Fiona from Scotland who sounded like a right mousse and thought that Will sounded amazing and sophisticated.
1 Live in Birmingham trailer
Crazy Town- Butterfly
Will decides that he doesn’t want any blokes phoning in. He sends Will to talk to Lizzie for a minute and they come up with a scheme to get some Hells Angels to ring in. Line 1 is Charlie who is a singer and reckons that she needs a high profile boyfriend. Chris then asks her to sing at which point he cuts her off. Line 2 is someone who is 18 who reckons that Will would be too old for her. Line 3 is Jackie who has a scouse accent so Will asks her could she get a car stereo for him. Line 4 is one of the unfunniest blokes I’ve ever heard because he does a crap joke and then says that he doesn’t find Will cute which Chris rightly points out screws up the feature.
Lisa Lopes- The Block Party
Jean Jacques Smoothie- 2 People
The Verve- Bittersweet Symphony
Chris then tells us that people with mono radio will think that the Jean Jacques Smoothie record sounds crap because its in stereo as he found out listening to it in the kitchen. Chris then reminds us of the topic and then the ‘Our Tune’ music starts up with Chris reading a lot of messages from people who think Will is great including a fat trucker and someone’s gran. Chris says that the topic is to improve Will’s confidence and has absolutely nothing to do with him getting better guests for the show.
Alicia Keys- Fallin’
Chris and will do a couple of puns about the name of the artist and Dave takes the piss out of Chris’s ‘DJ’ voice. Chris then tries to go to the phones but Will stops him because he thinks that they’ve been getting freaks on. Chris and Dave persuade them that ‘when you’re casting a net this big, you’re going to get some tuna’. This persuades Will to change his mind. The 1st caller fails because she is too small, the 2nd caller has lost the ability to speak, the 3rd caller is using a crap police car sound effect, the 4th caller isn’t there, the 5th caller is a lady named Kirsty who is the same age as Will because and has a very sexy voice. Will then buggers up his chat-up line and in the end she doesn’t sound that sure if she wants him after all.
Radio 1 TV trailer
Dido- Here with Me
Chris has a dramatic pause/he buggered up before he says what the last song. Sounds like another episode of Camp Cops is going on.....
‘Oooh I’m so excited I’ve been picked to do a weeks flying with Tim the hunky pilot’
‘How exciting will you do any of the flying?’
‘No but Tim says that if I’m good enough he’ll give me a go of his joystick’
I thought they were going for the chopper gag myself. Chris then takes Will and Dave to task about the fact that the cops sound more like grannies than they do camp. Will and Dave then do a very passable impression of the Lovely Wrinkly Randy Old Ladies from Harry Enfield.
Michael Jackson- You Rock My World
Chris then goes on a rant about how crap the new Michael Jackson video is and how the hell did it cost 5 million quid. He also does an impression of him trying to be a hard ass and Dave chirps in with the line ‘Stick it up’ which sends Chris laughing
4:30 News and Sport with Claire and Arlo
Chris takes Arlo to task over the use of the word ‘niggles’ who is apparently is the England team mascot. Chris asks him where hes been the last few weeks and Arlo says that he went to the East Midlands for 2 weeks. Chris suggests that Arlo should find himself a nice page 3 girl who would be able to take him on a proper holiday. Arlo seems quite pleased with that development.
City High- What Would you Do?
Wheezer- Island in the Sun
Chris then takes Will to task over the segue between the 2 songs as there was a gap (no jingle!!) in the middle. Chris plays the segue back, Will’s excuse is that he ‘likes to let the music breathe’. The ‘Our Tune’ music starts again with messages from people who fancy Will and Chris rips into Will for not trying hard enough. They take a caller from a guy who wants to offload his girlfriend onto Will and justifies it by saying that its her personality that hes bored with not her looks. He then says that he would have to phone her to tell her that its over because she’s in Liverpool. Will refuses because she plays rugby and could be quite hard, he then finds out that she plays at hooker which starts about 5 million jokes in Chris and Dave’s head.
Basement Jaxx- Jus’ 1 Kiss
Chris then decides, with Will’s blessing, to end the feature. Chris then decides to start a new competition where the listeners get to say which famous person they’ve seen today. Chris then starts ‘the sad story that everyone will laugh at’ game where whoever laughs has to put a pound in the kitty. He starts reading this story about Albert Daniels who was run over by a truck and then developed an uncontrollable urge to turn on water taps has been awarded £96,000 by a court to pay his water bills. The ending was a little flat though because nobody laughed when Chris said about the water bills, they laughed about his names and that he got run over. The team did make £5 for charity though.
So Solid Crew- 21 Seconds
Chris takes the piss out of Lizzie because she got Chris 2 callers instead of 1 and it was too late because of the news anyway
Linkin Park- In the End
Chris nicks a Mark and Lard gag by saying that Linkin Park are made up of Terry Linkin and Mark Park
5:00 News and Sport with Claire and Arlo
Chris takes Arlo to task over his sports report which was full of mistakes. Chris asks Arlo about his holiday and Arlo said that he took in the sight and the sounds of the East Midlands in such lovely places as Derby and Leicester. This goes into a chat about how badly Leicester are doing in the Premiership and how Chris (the well known football expert) wishes them all the best. Arlo reminds Chris that Leicester are playing Leeds a week Wednesday so Chris hopes that the comeback starts a week on Thursday.
Sillicon Soul- Right On
Moby- Porcelain
Chris then starts to play the ‘Guess which person I saw today’ with Andrea from Manchester except she saw her famous person in Paris in June. Chris finds out the person is male and he is a television presenter in the UK who is over 50 but it isn’t Michael Parkinson. Dave guesses that its Bob Holness. Will asks if its a quiz show presenter. They then go through all the quiz show hosts they know including Bamber Gascoigne, Roy Walker and Henry Kelly. Chris correctly guesses that its Bruce Forsyth. She says that she was a very nice man and that they were able to have their photo taken with him.
2Pac- Not ‘Librarian Girl’ by Michael Jackson (I know he’s been dead for a while but can’t they use some better samples?)
Chris makes pretty much the same point as me that 2Pac was a great rapper before his death and now that they are finishing his records with a load of samples including this one, Mr Mr and Bruce Hornsby and the Range. Chris then has Helen on the phone who saw someone today. Chris finds out that this person was a famous male British actor over 50. Chris guesses Bob Hoskins, Dave guesses Roger Moore, Will finds out that he is a film actor, Chris guesses Michael Caine, Dave guesses Sean Connery, Will finds out that it was the star of a recent film that wasn’t a comedy. Will asks if it was the guy who played Hannibal Lecter and she says yes so Chris says that its Anthony Hopkins. She tells them that he was in a hotel in Birmingham eating a sandwich. Chris goes on about how he must always get people doing the tongue action at him and this ties into a conversation about how Chris took his girlfriend to see Hannibal at the cinema for Valentines day. We also find out that Dave bought his girlfriend a smelly plastic rose from the garage because it was reduced and then took her to a Thai place that has closed down.
1 Live in Birmingham Trailer
Travis- Side
Kylie- Can’t get you out of my Head
Chris re-iterates his love for Kylie. He then tells the story about Mark and Lard on the Audience with....show where she thought they had a question but they didn’t and it was very embarrassing. The next person on is Andy from the Wirral who said that he’d seen two famous people who are linked. Dave gets it 1st time by saying its Jamie Redknapp and Louise. The next person is James from Leeds who saw someone in London yesterday. We establish that this person is a man who sometimes presents on TV. They’re not sure who it is so they think it might be someone off the DIY, cookery or gardening but it isn’t. Chris was very close with Anthea Turner. He gives the clue that its someone on the radio. They then go through a number of presenters until they get to Dr. Fox (the guy on Capital at the same time and who presents the Pepsi Chart) who was apparently on a blue Harley. Chris then says that they are going to have fun next week when Pop Idol starts so that people can see what he looks like.
Eve and Gwen Stefani- Let me blow ya Mind
We find out that Gwen Stefani is 32 today and she is still fit!! Apparently there is a ‘wicked’ mix of tunes on Dave Pearce tonight at 6
Heres Newsbeat, it’s 5:45
Conclusion: Good show today with some splendid topics and better than usual music with minimal garage music which makes it a ok with me!
See you next week
Sorry about not being here last week, I bet you were all gutted!! The excitement and fun of level 2 enrolment day at university meant that I had no access to the radio. The other thing that I wanted to say is that Elbow were superb on Mark and Lard today and that ‘New-born’ is the song of the year so far and 2 words about the best thing ever, The Simpsoms Season 1 on DVD: Buy it!! Anyway lets get on with the show:
Chris Moyles Wednesday 3rd October 2001 3-5:45
Tonight at 9 on UK Bilge Camp Cops. Frank’s bought some Eau du Cologne which Bill thought was pepper spray (slight problem: Will and Dave bugger up the sketch)
Chris dedicates Camp Cops to his friend Joe
Superman Lovers- Starlight
Blink 182- All the Small Things
Chris, Will and Lizzie are arguing about who has done the new music bed for the show: basically they each told each other they’d do it. Chris then takes Dave to task about including a line from Paul the voice-over man which wasn’t read properly (guess that Banzai deal is off then?). He doesn’t say the word ‘man’ in the proper way. They also plays 2 new trails that are ‘3 are beautiful and 1 is a slag’ and ‘3 are beautiful and 1 is Lizzie’. Chris then starts a conversation about Eastenders and Lizzie says she went to a gig last night. The band who were Norwegian, were apparently ‘great’. Lizzie then tells a story about how he got Paul Thomas from the 1 World programme to dance like Britney Spears. Chris seems to have some doubts over his sexuality. Will had to stay in with the missus and Chris announces that the lager police caught him and he stayed out for the night. Dave and Chris have an argument that goes nowhere about when is the best time to do work so they put on:
Gorillaz- Rock da House
Chris then mentions that the song is the one used for the trailer for the England game on Saturday and then tries to mix them together
England vs. Greece trailer
Chris tells us that he knows the voiceover lady on the trailer. Chris then proceeds to tell some stories about drunk nights that they have had with Wendy. They seem to be skirting over some issue ( more than likely of a sexual nature) and how she only gave Chris 5 out of 10. They then pick up on the Eastenders topic with Dave telling Chris what happened on last nights show. It basically involves Kat and Zoe talking a lot and the show ended with Kat telling Zoe that her father is Uncle Harry. Chris and Dave then do their own version of the ending. Will then tries his own version of it. Chris asks Will does he know who Uncle Harry is and Will’s answer is Boon which is correct. He then wonders if Neil Morrisey is also in Eastenders but Chris tells Will hes thinking of Bob the Builder.
Roger Sanchez- Another Chance
Chris reckons that because his name is Sanchez that he should sound like a Spanish/Chinese/Greek bloke depending on how good/bad the impression got.
P Diddy- Bad Boy for Life
Chris and Dave then sing their own version of the chorus of Bad Boy for Life
3:30 News with Claire
Chris and Claire then talk about the main news story about the bus driver in America who had his throat cut and how one of the clips were of a guy more bothered about getting to work and rather than what had happened. Chris then persuades Claire that she should sit in the studio for half an hour so that it looks that she was talking to Chris the whole time and that she will have less work to do.
Alien Ant Farm- Smooth Criminal
The 1’s- Flawless
Lizzie was dancing during the last record. She offers Chris, Dave and Will the chance to dance like Britney Spears but they refuse. Chris and Dave ask Lizzie to do the dance and to help her they do their human beat box version of ‘Baby One More Time. Paul the Announcer Man tells us that today’s topic is ‘ Will sounds cute even though I’ve never seen what he looks like’. Will doesn’t have prior knowledge on this topic but Chris uses the argument from The Doors which was ‘You weren’t there man’ so Chris, Dave and Lizzie decided the topic themselves.
Afro Man- Then I got High
Chris seems quite impressed that they use the phrase skibidee-bop in that last record. Line 1 was a woman who thinks Dave is quite cute. Line 2 is a bloke who wants to know what Will actually does and reckons he’s not worth the money. Line 3 is Fiona from Scotland who sounded like a right mousse and thought that Will sounded amazing and sophisticated.
1 Live in Birmingham trailer
Crazy Town- Butterfly
Will decides that he doesn’t want any blokes phoning in. He sends Will to talk to Lizzie for a minute and they come up with a scheme to get some Hells Angels to ring in. Line 1 is Charlie who is a singer and reckons that she needs a high profile boyfriend. Chris then asks her to sing at which point he cuts her off. Line 2 is someone who is 18 who reckons that Will would be too old for her. Line 3 is Jackie who has a scouse accent so Will asks her could she get a car stereo for him. Line 4 is one of the unfunniest blokes I’ve ever heard because he does a crap joke and then says that he doesn’t find Will cute which Chris rightly points out screws up the feature.
Lisa Lopes- The Block Party
Jean Jacques Smoothie- 2 People
The Verve- Bittersweet Symphony
Chris then tells us that people with mono radio will think that the Jean Jacques Smoothie record sounds crap because its in stereo as he found out listening to it in the kitchen. Chris then reminds us of the topic and then the ‘Our Tune’ music starts up with Chris reading a lot of messages from people who think Will is great including a fat trucker and someone’s gran. Chris says that the topic is to improve Will’s confidence and has absolutely nothing to do with him getting better guests for the show.
Alicia Keys- Fallin’
Chris and will do a couple of puns about the name of the artist and Dave takes the piss out of Chris’s ‘DJ’ voice. Chris then tries to go to the phones but Will stops him because he thinks that they’ve been getting freaks on. Chris and Dave persuade them that ‘when you’re casting a net this big, you’re going to get some tuna’. This persuades Will to change his mind. The 1st caller fails because she is too small, the 2nd caller has lost the ability to speak, the 3rd caller is using a crap police car sound effect, the 4th caller isn’t there, the 5th caller is a lady named Kirsty who is the same age as Will because and has a very sexy voice. Will then buggers up his chat-up line and in the end she doesn’t sound that sure if she wants him after all.
Radio 1 TV trailer
Dido- Here with Me
Chris has a dramatic pause/he buggered up before he says what the last song. Sounds like another episode of Camp Cops is going on.....
‘Oooh I’m so excited I’ve been picked to do a weeks flying with Tim the hunky pilot’
‘How exciting will you do any of the flying?’
‘No but Tim says that if I’m good enough he’ll give me a go of his joystick’
I thought they were going for the chopper gag myself. Chris then takes Will and Dave to task about the fact that the cops sound more like grannies than they do camp. Will and Dave then do a very passable impression of the Lovely Wrinkly Randy Old Ladies from Harry Enfield.
Michael Jackson- You Rock My World
Chris then goes on a rant about how crap the new Michael Jackson video is and how the hell did it cost 5 million quid. He also does an impression of him trying to be a hard ass and Dave chirps in with the line ‘Stick it up’ which sends Chris laughing
4:30 News and Sport with Claire and Arlo
Chris takes Arlo to task over the use of the word ‘niggles’ who is apparently is the England team mascot. Chris asks him where hes been the last few weeks and Arlo says that he went to the East Midlands for 2 weeks. Chris suggests that Arlo should find himself a nice page 3 girl who would be able to take him on a proper holiday. Arlo seems quite pleased with that development.
City High- What Would you Do?
Wheezer- Island in the Sun
Chris then takes Will to task over the segue between the 2 songs as there was a gap (no jingle!!) in the middle. Chris plays the segue back, Will’s excuse is that he ‘likes to let the music breathe’. The ‘Our Tune’ music starts again with messages from people who fancy Will and Chris rips into Will for not trying hard enough. They take a caller from a guy who wants to offload his girlfriend onto Will and justifies it by saying that its her personality that hes bored with not her looks. He then says that he would have to phone her to tell her that its over because she’s in Liverpool. Will refuses because she plays rugby and could be quite hard, he then finds out that she plays at hooker which starts about 5 million jokes in Chris and Dave’s head.
Basement Jaxx- Jus’ 1 Kiss
Chris then decides, with Will’s blessing, to end the feature. Chris then decides to start a new competition where the listeners get to say which famous person they’ve seen today. Chris then starts ‘the sad story that everyone will laugh at’ game where whoever laughs has to put a pound in the kitty. He starts reading this story about Albert Daniels who was run over by a truck and then developed an uncontrollable urge to turn on water taps has been awarded £96,000 by a court to pay his water bills. The ending was a little flat though because nobody laughed when Chris said about the water bills, they laughed about his names and that he got run over. The team did make £5 for charity though.
So Solid Crew- 21 Seconds
Chris takes the piss out of Lizzie because she got Chris 2 callers instead of 1 and it was too late because of the news anyway
Linkin Park- In the End
Chris nicks a Mark and Lard gag by saying that Linkin Park are made up of Terry Linkin and Mark Park
5:00 News and Sport with Claire and Arlo
Chris takes Arlo to task over his sports report which was full of mistakes. Chris asks Arlo about his holiday and Arlo said that he took in the sight and the sounds of the East Midlands in such lovely places as Derby and Leicester. This goes into a chat about how badly Leicester are doing in the Premiership and how Chris (the well known football expert) wishes them all the best. Arlo reminds Chris that Leicester are playing Leeds a week Wednesday so Chris hopes that the comeback starts a week on Thursday.
Sillicon Soul- Right On
Moby- Porcelain
Chris then starts to play the ‘Guess which person I saw today’ with Andrea from Manchester except she saw her famous person in Paris in June. Chris finds out the person is male and he is a television presenter in the UK who is over 50 but it isn’t Michael Parkinson. Dave guesses that its Bob Holness. Will asks if its a quiz show presenter. They then go through all the quiz show hosts they know including Bamber Gascoigne, Roy Walker and Henry Kelly. Chris correctly guesses that its Bruce Forsyth. She says that she was a very nice man and that they were able to have their photo taken with him.
2Pac- Not ‘Librarian Girl’ by Michael Jackson (I know he’s been dead for a while but can’t they use some better samples?)
Chris makes pretty much the same point as me that 2Pac was a great rapper before his death and now that they are finishing his records with a load of samples including this one, Mr Mr and Bruce Hornsby and the Range. Chris then has Helen on the phone who saw someone today. Chris finds out that this person was a famous male British actor over 50. Chris guesses Bob Hoskins, Dave guesses Roger Moore, Will finds out that he is a film actor, Chris guesses Michael Caine, Dave guesses Sean Connery, Will finds out that it was the star of a recent film that wasn’t a comedy. Will asks if it was the guy who played Hannibal Lecter and she says yes so Chris says that its Anthony Hopkins. She tells them that he was in a hotel in Birmingham eating a sandwich. Chris goes on about how he must always get people doing the tongue action at him and this ties into a conversation about how Chris took his girlfriend to see Hannibal at the cinema for Valentines day. We also find out that Dave bought his girlfriend a smelly plastic rose from the garage because it was reduced and then took her to a Thai place that has closed down.
1 Live in Birmingham Trailer
Travis- Side
Kylie- Can’t get you out of my Head
Chris re-iterates his love for Kylie. He then tells the story about Mark and Lard on the Audience with....show where she thought they had a question but they didn’t and it was very embarrassing. The next person on is Andy from the Wirral who said that he’d seen two famous people who are linked. Dave gets it 1st time by saying its Jamie Redknapp and Louise. The next person is James from Leeds who saw someone in London yesterday. We establish that this person is a man who sometimes presents on TV. They’re not sure who it is so they think it might be someone off the DIY, cookery or gardening but it isn’t. Chris was very close with Anthea Turner. He gives the clue that its someone on the radio. They then go through a number of presenters until they get to Dr. Fox (the guy on Capital at the same time and who presents the Pepsi Chart) who was apparently on a blue Harley. Chris then says that they are going to have fun next week when Pop Idol starts so that people can see what he looks like.
Eve and Gwen Stefani- Let me blow ya Mind
We find out that Gwen Stefani is 32 today and she is still fit!! Apparently there is a ‘wicked’ mix of tunes on Dave Pearce tonight at 6
Heres Newsbeat, it’s 5:45
Conclusion: Good show today with some splendid topics and better than usual music with minimal garage music which makes it a ok with me!
See you next week
