chrismoyles.net
- Tue Jul 09, 2002 8:00 pm
#241481
1. Nelly - Hot In Herre 2. Strokes - Last Nite 3. Romeo - Romeo Dun 4. Shakedown - At Night 5. New Found Glory - My Friends Over You NEWS 6. Beyonce Knowles - Work It Out 7. Fischerspooner - Emerge 8. Will Smith - Nod Your Head 9. Moony - Dove 10. Eminem - Without Me 11. All Saints - Black Coffee 12. Truth Hurts feat. Rakim - Addictive 13. Chad Kroeger - Hero NEWS 14. Kylie - Love At First Sight 15. Idlewild - American English 16. One Giant Leap feat. Neneh Cherry & Speech - Braided Hair 17. Ms Dynamite - It Takes More 18. Prodigy - Babys Got A Temper NEWS 19. Red Hot Chilli Peppers - By The Way 20. Dr Dre & Eminem - Forgot About Dre 21. Gareth Gates - Anyone Of Us (Stupid Mistake) 22. Papa Roach - She Loves Me Not 23. BLOWN OUT - AGADOO 2002 24. Pink - Dont Let Me Get Me 25. Dirty Vegas - Ghosts
A good day in terms of idle banter as Chris' talks vary from losing virginity to waxing legs to holidays all in quick succession. He talked to his showbiz pal Davina last night about the interview with Adele and he regarded it as one of his better pieces as he came out as more intelligent than usual. Matt on email says that he watched Little Brother and says that Chris aint as fat or ugly as he says. They talk about how Adele is still a virgin at 23 and Chris says he lost his at 22. Chris described himself as a picky virgin. He says that his mother should know now that he still isnt one bearing in mind shes heard him banging from next door while she was trying to sleep. Lizzie chips in and says Poor Mother for what she has to endure with him. Dave says its a horrible image he is painting. Chris proceeds to describe himself butt naked with only a leopard skin thong with a whip and a nipple ring. Dave says hes amazed anyone has said yes. Chris goes on the offensive and brings up Daves abundance of hair on his legs. Dave says its normal set of hair. Chris says its taken Dave 10 years to grow a bit of stubble on his chin but he can get a whole leg beard in 10 seconds. Dave called his hair on his legs as hirsute and says that hes proud of them and that the chicks dig them. Chris says his legs are far better. Dave says they are more like girls legs, in fact they look like chicken legs. Chris issues Dave to drop his keks and have a leg-off and get Lizzie to judge who has the better pair of pins. Lizzie says Chris is muscular and toned and Daves look like hes been attacked by a tanning glove. Chris says they should wax Daves legs because it looks like hes covered his legs in glue and rolled around a field with alsatians. Dave refuses. Chris asks if Dave got his legs shaved, they could look as good as his or as Chris put it.
Chris Seriously look, wouldnt you want to have legs like this (slaps them) look at that, look at the muscle on that. You know when I stroke my own legs, even I get a little excited
Dave Yeah but your into stroking all over your body
Chris What do you mean by that?
Dave You sculpt your eyebrows and trim your pubes
Chris Hang on, when have I ever sculpted my eyebrows?
Dave You said that the other day, your obsessed with your eyebrows
Chris I had a nose clipper that also did eyebrows that was sent that I opened on the air
Dave Also your chest hair looks like it has a side parting in it
Chris Your chest hair makes you look like David Hasselhoffs son
Dave Theres a parting in the middle of yours, look
Chris Look, my friend Robert does this chest hair once a month and he is a genius. He has done chest hairs for some of the best known people around the world. Tom Selleck, Bernard Manning, Melinda Messenger. I tell you, he is money well spent.
Dave notices that the Berlin love parade sounds like the woman says theres are dozens of huge blokes (floats was the real word) each with their own sound systems. Newsbeat Georgina gets in a hole and cant get out when Chris questions her on the cricket news she read out. Its evident she hasnt a clue what any of it meant. Chris watched Graham Norton last night and says that the second guest only gets 2 questions asked then onto the game at the end. Whilst at the Oasis concert, Chris owns up that he nicked a huge Liam poster in the backstage hospitality area that was nailed to the wall.
Wills Hotel Story
Will Ive been trying to book a holiday for ages and ive been trying to get cheap ones
Chris Is Center Parcs open this time of year then?
Will Yeah, well we were nearly there. We wanted to go abroad, somewhere hot and I was talking about going to France and Dave says hes been to France and he is well travelled there so he recommended this lovely hotel
Chris Its not the Hotel De Ville again is it?
Will No, anyway hes talked me into this and Dave was talking to my girlfriend at the Oasis gig
Chris Well somebody had to, you were ignoring here
Will Exactly (mutters Its what she deserved) So hes singing the praises of this hotel to her. So at the weekend we went right, sounds really nice, we will book that hotel. We go into her office to use her internet. We book the flight, the car hire, we book the hotel. We are sitting there, its taken us about 2 hours to do all the surfing and whathaveyou. We are sitting with the Just Booked A Holiday Glow. She says she will have a look on the net and see if we can get a photo of the place and this page comes up
Chris Wait a minute, so youve booked it without seeing it because Dave has recommended it?
Dave Ive been there 3 times, Trois Times and its very nice
Will but you know whats its like with your girlfriend and somebody elses boyfriend, there always better arent they so she was like I Really Trust Dave. Daves got great taste, itll be great. So anyway I get the search engine and up comes loads of things for this place. The first thing I click on is like a review, you know when youve been to the hotel you can make your own review and I have that review here written by an anonymous person from Reading. I will read it out to you. The room at first appeared to be comfortable enough, a duplex affair with a bed on a platform. It was very hot so we switched on the well advertised air conditioning and went out for the evening. On our return the temperature in the room was unbearable, well over 35 degrees. we went to reception and was told by a very pompous nightporter that they didnt turn on the air conditioning till May. I left to find another hotel but on return the nightporter was more helpful, came to the room and agreed that it was much too hot and offered to give us a generous discount the following day. We lay awake till 5am and slept fitfully until 10am. When we went and checked out, they tried to charge us the full rate and when I complained they offered me a 16 Euro discount on 94 Euro room rate. I didnt consider this to be a general discount so I asked to speak to the manager but he would not talk to me. I offered to pay 50 Euros and they called the Police. I would not recommend this hotel if the only alternative was to sleep on the pavement. They do not know the meaning of customer service
Derek Jacobi from Birmingham tells off Chris on email for his use of grammar. Chris tells him that he does talk proper and if he doesnt like it, he can shove it up his fat arse. Chris and the team are going to the pub to look at the photos from the Maxim shoot they did whilst they were Los Angeles. Chris wants to go home by 9 because he wants to see Paradise Heights. Chris is going to try and go off the booze for a month. Chris says he wants to lose weight for September (for reasons im not allowed to talk about apart from once a show) Two contrasting emails come in about this. The first email says that they were off booze for a month and lost nothing whilst the second emailer says he was off drink for two months in Afghanistan and lost a stone. Chris recieves a freebie which were Nail scissors, Wilkinson Sword Lady Shaver and some tweezers with curved ends for Daves hairy legs from Starfish Communications. Dave says its perfect timing because its his girlfriends birthday soon. Tomorrow Chris is giving away Michael Schumacher signed Mobile phone. Its been laminated so it wont rub off.
One Life : One Love read out over This Morning music performed by Will. As usual its Emma Kiss Ass is the voice of it. Dave reads out over The Old Grey Whistle Test. Chris was playing Rhys on the XBOX during 5pm
MR DAZ from Blown Out again with another letter.
Dear Chris, normally I would start off one of my letters with an unfunny line in a vain attempt to try and get you and Angel Man on side. However on this occasion I feel that the enclosed track is comedy enough. Now you and me Chris were fortunate to grow up in generation of music giants such as Russ Abbott and Joe Dolce. However kids today have been deprived of such quality acts and I think now is the time to put the record straight. I propose you do a Chris Moyles campaign to bring back Black Lace. I urge you to champion this huge track enclosed. I feel for sure that once the kids get to hear this pile of dog shit they will forget all about the Westlifes and the S Club 7. I mean only the other night watching Top Of The Pops, I was crying out for a pair of ugly look leather trouser wearing people to grace its stage and this sort of criteria can only be made by one act and that act is Black Lace. Ive been in contact with Black Lace and I dont want to get your hopes up too high but I maybe able to give you a worldwide exclusive interview with them. Lastly if you manage to endure the track to the end, you will hear one of your dreams come true by sampling you on a record with Black Lace. It was very funny track.
BB ALED UPDATE
Aled isnt very well. He has the flu. Jade was naked as a result of losing the boozing game (Urgh, get the bucket for me to puke). New task is a master:servant task. Jonny is the Master Of Tim, Kate is the master of Jade, Alex is master to PJ. They will swop roles tomorrow. Shock news is that Alex doesnt fancy Adele. He says he didnt fancy any of the girls in the house. Chris says its such a shame as Tim should go. I agree. Chris says the final 3 will be Jonny, Kate and Alex. BB Aled will be on next week with Emma B. I will not be reviewing as I hate her guts. Aled was at Mardi Gras and Pop Idol Final 10 person Korben and Graham Norton refused to sit on Aleds pooth. Norton refused because he doesnt listen to Chris Moyles.
A good day in terms of idle banter as Chris' talks vary from losing virginity to waxing legs to holidays all in quick succession. He talked to his showbiz pal Davina last night about the interview with Adele and he regarded it as one of his better pieces as he came out as more intelligent than usual. Matt on email says that he watched Little Brother and says that Chris aint as fat or ugly as he says. They talk about how Adele is still a virgin at 23 and Chris says he lost his at 22. Chris described himself as a picky virgin. He says that his mother should know now that he still isnt one bearing in mind shes heard him banging from next door while she was trying to sleep. Lizzie chips in and says Poor Mother for what she has to endure with him. Dave says its a horrible image he is painting. Chris proceeds to describe himself butt naked with only a leopard skin thong with a whip and a nipple ring. Dave says hes amazed anyone has said yes. Chris goes on the offensive and brings up Daves abundance of hair on his legs. Dave says its normal set of hair. Chris says its taken Dave 10 years to grow a bit of stubble on his chin but he can get a whole leg beard in 10 seconds. Dave called his hair on his legs as hirsute and says that hes proud of them and that the chicks dig them. Chris says his legs are far better. Dave says they are more like girls legs, in fact they look like chicken legs. Chris issues Dave to drop his keks and have a leg-off and get Lizzie to judge who has the better pair of pins. Lizzie says Chris is muscular and toned and Daves look like hes been attacked by a tanning glove. Chris says they should wax Daves legs because it looks like hes covered his legs in glue and rolled around a field with alsatians. Dave refuses. Chris asks if Dave got his legs shaved, they could look as good as his or as Chris put it.
Chris Seriously look, wouldnt you want to have legs like this (slaps them) look at that, look at the muscle on that. You know when I stroke my own legs, even I get a little excited
Dave Yeah but your into stroking all over your body
Chris What do you mean by that?
Dave You sculpt your eyebrows and trim your pubes
Chris Hang on, when have I ever sculpted my eyebrows?
Dave You said that the other day, your obsessed with your eyebrows
Chris I had a nose clipper that also did eyebrows that was sent that I opened on the air
Dave Also your chest hair looks like it has a side parting in it
Chris Your chest hair makes you look like David Hasselhoffs son
Dave Theres a parting in the middle of yours, look
Chris Look, my friend Robert does this chest hair once a month and he is a genius. He has done chest hairs for some of the best known people around the world. Tom Selleck, Bernard Manning, Melinda Messenger. I tell you, he is money well spent.
Dave notices that the Berlin love parade sounds like the woman says theres are dozens of huge blokes (floats was the real word) each with their own sound systems. Newsbeat Georgina gets in a hole and cant get out when Chris questions her on the cricket news she read out. Its evident she hasnt a clue what any of it meant. Chris watched Graham Norton last night and says that the second guest only gets 2 questions asked then onto the game at the end. Whilst at the Oasis concert, Chris owns up that he nicked a huge Liam poster in the backstage hospitality area that was nailed to the wall.
Wills Hotel Story
Will Ive been trying to book a holiday for ages and ive been trying to get cheap ones
Chris Is Center Parcs open this time of year then?
Will Yeah, well we were nearly there. We wanted to go abroad, somewhere hot and I was talking about going to France and Dave says hes been to France and he is well travelled there so he recommended this lovely hotel
Chris Its not the Hotel De Ville again is it?
Will No, anyway hes talked me into this and Dave was talking to my girlfriend at the Oasis gig
Chris Well somebody had to, you were ignoring here
Will Exactly (mutters Its what she deserved) So hes singing the praises of this hotel to her. So at the weekend we went right, sounds really nice, we will book that hotel. We go into her office to use her internet. We book the flight, the car hire, we book the hotel. We are sitting there, its taken us about 2 hours to do all the surfing and whathaveyou. We are sitting with the Just Booked A Holiday Glow. She says she will have a look on the net and see if we can get a photo of the place and this page comes up
Chris Wait a minute, so youve booked it without seeing it because Dave has recommended it?
Dave Ive been there 3 times, Trois Times and its very nice
Will but you know whats its like with your girlfriend and somebody elses boyfriend, there always better arent they so she was like I Really Trust Dave. Daves got great taste, itll be great. So anyway I get the search engine and up comes loads of things for this place. The first thing I click on is like a review, you know when youve been to the hotel you can make your own review and I have that review here written by an anonymous person from Reading. I will read it out to you. The room at first appeared to be comfortable enough, a duplex affair with a bed on a platform. It was very hot so we switched on the well advertised air conditioning and went out for the evening. On our return the temperature in the room was unbearable, well over 35 degrees. we went to reception and was told by a very pompous nightporter that they didnt turn on the air conditioning till May. I left to find another hotel but on return the nightporter was more helpful, came to the room and agreed that it was much too hot and offered to give us a generous discount the following day. We lay awake till 5am and slept fitfully until 10am. When we went and checked out, they tried to charge us the full rate and when I complained they offered me a 16 Euro discount on 94 Euro room rate. I didnt consider this to be a general discount so I asked to speak to the manager but he would not talk to me. I offered to pay 50 Euros and they called the Police. I would not recommend this hotel if the only alternative was to sleep on the pavement. They do not know the meaning of customer service
Derek Jacobi from Birmingham tells off Chris on email for his use of grammar. Chris tells him that he does talk proper and if he doesnt like it, he can shove it up his fat arse. Chris and the team are going to the pub to look at the photos from the Maxim shoot they did whilst they were Los Angeles. Chris wants to go home by 9 because he wants to see Paradise Heights. Chris is going to try and go off the booze for a month. Chris says he wants to lose weight for September (for reasons im not allowed to talk about apart from once a show) Two contrasting emails come in about this. The first email says that they were off booze for a month and lost nothing whilst the second emailer says he was off drink for two months in Afghanistan and lost a stone. Chris recieves a freebie which were Nail scissors, Wilkinson Sword Lady Shaver and some tweezers with curved ends for Daves hairy legs from Starfish Communications. Dave says its perfect timing because its his girlfriends birthday soon. Tomorrow Chris is giving away Michael Schumacher signed Mobile phone. Its been laminated so it wont rub off.
One Life : One Love read out over This Morning music performed by Will. As usual its Emma Kiss Ass is the voice of it. Dave reads out over The Old Grey Whistle Test. Chris was playing Rhys on the XBOX during 5pm
MR DAZ from Blown Out again with another letter.
Dear Chris, normally I would start off one of my letters with an unfunny line in a vain attempt to try and get you and Angel Man on side. However on this occasion I feel that the enclosed track is comedy enough. Now you and me Chris were fortunate to grow up in generation of music giants such as Russ Abbott and Joe Dolce. However kids today have been deprived of such quality acts and I think now is the time to put the record straight. I propose you do a Chris Moyles campaign to bring back Black Lace. I urge you to champion this huge track enclosed. I feel for sure that once the kids get to hear this pile of dog shit they will forget all about the Westlifes and the S Club 7. I mean only the other night watching Top Of The Pops, I was crying out for a pair of ugly look leather trouser wearing people to grace its stage and this sort of criteria can only be made by one act and that act is Black Lace. Ive been in contact with Black Lace and I dont want to get your hopes up too high but I maybe able to give you a worldwide exclusive interview with them. Lastly if you manage to endure the track to the end, you will hear one of your dreams come true by sampling you on a record with Black Lace. It was very funny track.
BB ALED UPDATE
Aled isnt very well. He has the flu. Jade was naked as a result of losing the boozing game (Urgh, get the bucket for me to puke). New task is a master:servant task. Jonny is the Master Of Tim, Kate is the master of Jade, Alex is master to PJ. They will swop roles tomorrow. Shock news is that Alex doesnt fancy Adele. He says he didnt fancy any of the girls in the house. Chris says its such a shame as Tim should go. I agree. Chris says the final 3 will be Jonny, Kate and Alex. BB Aled will be on next week with Emma B. I will not be reviewing as I hate her guts. Aled was at Mardi Gras and Pop Idol Final 10 person Korben and Graham Norton refused to sit on Aleds pooth. Norton refused because he doesnt listen to Chris Moyles.
