chrismoyles.net
- Tue Aug 27, 2002 6:14 pm
#241506
1. Liberty X - Got To Have Your Love 2. Bran Van 3000 - Drinking In LA 3. Tubby T - Tales Of The Hood 4. Oakenfold - Starry Eyed Surprise 5. Incubus - Are You In NEWS 6. Sugababes - Round Round 7. Puddle Of Mudd - She Hates Me 8. MISSED 9. Blue - Fly By II 10. Truth Hurts - Addictive 11. Blur - Song 2 12. Oxide & Neutrino - Dem Girls 13. Bowling For Soup - Girls All The Bad Guys Want 14. Pink - Just Like A Pill news 15. Mint Royale - Sexiest Man In Jamaica 16. Appleton - Fantasy 17. Trucks - Its Only Porn Mum 18. Avril Lavigne - Complicated NEWS 19. Jurgen Vries - The Theme 20. Missy Elliott - Get A Freak On 21. Oasis - Little By Little 22. Milky - Just The Way You Are 23. TLC - Waterfalls 24. Eminem - Cleaning Out My Closet 25. Supergrass - Grace
Today was a show entirely devoted to Britains Sexiest starring Michael Greco. Chris was featured in Heat again stocking up on Carling in the boot of his car. The beer was for his new Tv Show. Chris also talked about Celebrity Survivor again and played a clip with Uri Gellar trying to chat up Nell McAndrew. Will did his SportTalk feature again. Two callers called Rachel and Tom rang up for the Coldplay competition. There was one question which was a True Or False question. The question was Coldplay won Best Alternative Album at this years Grammy Awards. Ill tell you the answer tomorrow but Rachel from Leeds won.
Chris enlightened Georgina to his weird dream last night. He was caught up in a natural disaster along with Dave and the world was ending. He woke up shaking but strangely when he went back to sleep the dream picked up where he had left off.
----------------------Britains Sexiest-------------------------------
Chris So lets talk about Britains Sexiest, give everybody a good laugh, what a brilliant idea that was. Stand up which ITV executive commissioned that pile of pants.
Dave How many meetings do you think they had before they came up with that revolutionary concept?
Chris None, there seems to be a major flaw in it for me. Its called Britains sexiest yet the majority of people on last night were ugly. Now was that just my opinion and then they went Check out tomorrow for these sexy teachers (surely an oxymoron). C'mon it was like Crufts. What a wooffest. But well pointed out about this thing im going to talk about. Dave what was the whole point of having them there, apart from staring at Kerry McFaddens breasts
Dave You had to vote for your favourite one, the one you thought was the sexiest
Chris So there was a winner of a sexy boy and a winner for the sexy girl. Now was that a joke that there was a bloke in the girl category or was that not a bloke
Dave Oh you mean the one that looked like Mr Ed
Chris And then there was some Welsh girl, fat if you ask me
Dave Oh God yeah she was scary looking too, the one that made me laugh was Adam from Dorset, the one that couldnt put his arms down. He looked like He-Man with silly hair.
Chris Will pointed this out to me afterwards. When youre going to reveal the winners, Dave, how would you do the reveal to build up tension?
Dave Well I would take my time and I would probably put in a long drumroll
Chris Thats a very good idea, now why didnt Kerry do that last night, well technically she would argue that there was a drumroll. Now Will, heres one for you, how long would you let the drumroll last
Will About 5 seconds I would say
Chris Have a listen to how many seconds it lasted for
TEAM LAUGH
Will Timing, it was not even half a second
Chris Where was the tension? There was more tension in her bloody support bra than there was for reading out the winner. Unbelievable. Greco is even worse, you cant even hear him. I switched over to ITV2 for the extra bit and it looked like they were doing it from a shed
Dave You said that was funnier than the ITV1 show
Chris Awful, and to prove the point they were sexy, they had Vanessa on with that lump shes going out with
Dave what does she know about a/ fitness and b/ being sexy
Will Well tonight its on again live with the teachers so if I was producer of the show I would tell them to instill a bit more tension. I really want to see if they learnt from their mistakes.
Chris We will talk about this every day this week
---------------------Kerry McFadden-----------------------------------------
Chris Guy Ritchie also in Heat, looking Jewish, he says that he wanted Madge to keep her respberries in, Now I thought they were bigger than that. Will what fruit is the size of Madonnas breasts?
Will Maybe an aubergine
Dave I though aubergines were cylindrical shaped
Will Kellys got melons
Chris Kelly who
Will No Kerry thingy, the look like two space hoppers
Chris Jesus she looks like shes smuggling two bald headed kids through customs under her jumper. (adopts STUPID SCOUSE ACCENT) {HIYA, Im Kerry McFadden and I know what youre thinking, theyre bloody huge arent they}. Be honest has any man ever in the last few weeks, especially when she does that Elimidate programme, has any man actually looked at her straight in the eye? Could you even tell me what colour her eyes are. She could be boss eyed for all I know, Ive never looked above the chest. You cant help it though, can you! Women are the same, they say have you seen the size of her knockers, its unbelievable. When she takes off her bra, she must trip up.
Dave Its great Tv though dont you think?
Chris What, her breasts?
Dave Yeah, just generally, I think she enhances the shows enormously
Chris God I tell you, that baby
Will No Chris, dont do that gag, its tastleless, not the one about the stretchmarks either
-------------------Chris talks about the Trucks and Porn------------
Chris You dont see old porn in parks anymore which I find a shame, and cider.
Will Interesting point, I think its the Internet because you dont even have to leave the bedroom no more, no need to search around hedges
Chris Whys that
Will Apparently theres nudey ladies on the Internet
Chris Apparently? Is there really, Ive never seen any, I obviously must be looking at the wrong sites, im looking at caravanning.co.uk and myfavouriteteddybears.com, nothing there. Do you know there will be some sad loser out there now typing in my favouriteteddybears.com. By the way I have a fantastic story so ill drop a record to tell you it but ill need the ducks
Chris Bear with me now, there is someone I know who goes by the name of (hens) and lives (hens) and this person says to me when he goes to bed with his missus he can always tell when the bloke upstairs is on his computer because he can hear his chair squeaking. (team all tittering) And we were in the pub on Saturday and this bloke goes. he was at it again the other night eek uh eek uh eek uh telling everybody in the pub and he says. I know when hes in the flat on his own because it gets louder, normally its kind of muffly discreet one but the chair gets faster and faster and then stops and then you hear the toilet flushing and he goes to bed.
Dave This is the unlikely lads we are talking about it, isnt it?
Chris I cant say anything more than that
Will Off the air with the hens could you enlighten us as to who it is out of the two
(hens)
Will Oh shame, would have been funnier if it was the other one really
Chris No but seriously, how can I ever look that guy in the eye now or shake his hand. I was in the pub the other night with him and I asked him what he was up to. He said just in the flat on his computer, do you want a pint. No ill get it myself I said.
--------------------------Oh No, Back To Greco---------------------------
Dave Im looking forward to Britains Sexiest Dinnerladies
Chris Thats not this week
Dave I hope it is
Will I just cant wait to see what Greco is wearing tonight, can he top the outfit he wore yesterday?
Chris Describe for people who werent in the know what he was wearing?
Will He was wearing a black shirt, a very cool nice black shirt, he was wearing a black tie which together might have been a nice combination except it was with the open top big fat knot hanging down look
Chris It was a real kipper tie wasnt it
Dave Dont you think he looked dirty as well?
Chris What do you mean about that? Filthy in Bed?
Dave No, No, he was unshaven
Chris Hes always unshaven
Dave Yeah but he was particulary unshaven and he looked like hed been up a chimney or something
Chris No he didnt look that bad, do you want to know what he will be wearing tonight?
Will Yeah lets find out
Chris Shall I send him a text?
Will Yeah lets find out
Chris How do you want me to write it?
Will Say Dear Grecs, love the show...
Chris ...no, what will you be wearing tonight on the telly?
Dave Do you think he is talking to you?, Do you think he will respond?
Chris Well he didnt respond last night when I sent him a text after the show saying Are you OK, hes under Star Behind the Bar, or Office World, he gets very upset by that
Will Well I think we have topped that today, its a shame because I hate to criticise every single show hes in
Chris Do you think hes in with his agent and said Listen when I told you that soap stars normally go to ITV for its big dramas, not doing Britains Sexiest with that bird from Atomic Kitten with the big jugs. It amazing he can look at the autocue in the eye standing next to her because hes taller than her as well. I mean its worth watching tonight just to watch his eyes and see if he has a little peek downwards like that, I Would
Daves Tedious Links
Soup Dragons - Soup is Hot - So is Majorca - Majorca is a favourite holiday destination for Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas - Douglas is the capital of the Isle Of Man - The Isle Of Man is famous for its Manx Kippers - Kippers rhymes with strippers - Strippers work in lap dancing clubs - Peter Stringfellow owns a lap dancing club - He might possibly be the kind of person who uses viagra - Viagra rhymes with Niagara - Niagara is a famous North American Waterfall - That links us to Waterfall by TLC (wouldve been better if he would have picked Waterfall by the Stone Roses but thats only my opinion)
Today was a show entirely devoted to Britains Sexiest starring Michael Greco. Chris was featured in Heat again stocking up on Carling in the boot of his car. The beer was for his new Tv Show. Chris also talked about Celebrity Survivor again and played a clip with Uri Gellar trying to chat up Nell McAndrew. Will did his SportTalk feature again. Two callers called Rachel and Tom rang up for the Coldplay competition. There was one question which was a True Or False question. The question was Coldplay won Best Alternative Album at this years Grammy Awards. Ill tell you the answer tomorrow but Rachel from Leeds won.
Chris enlightened Georgina to his weird dream last night. He was caught up in a natural disaster along with Dave and the world was ending. He woke up shaking but strangely when he went back to sleep the dream picked up where he had left off.
----------------------Britains Sexiest-------------------------------
Chris So lets talk about Britains Sexiest, give everybody a good laugh, what a brilliant idea that was. Stand up which ITV executive commissioned that pile of pants.
Dave How many meetings do you think they had before they came up with that revolutionary concept?
Chris None, there seems to be a major flaw in it for me. Its called Britains sexiest yet the majority of people on last night were ugly. Now was that just my opinion and then they went Check out tomorrow for these sexy teachers (surely an oxymoron). C'mon it was like Crufts. What a wooffest. But well pointed out about this thing im going to talk about. Dave what was the whole point of having them there, apart from staring at Kerry McFaddens breasts
Dave You had to vote for your favourite one, the one you thought was the sexiest
Chris So there was a winner of a sexy boy and a winner for the sexy girl. Now was that a joke that there was a bloke in the girl category or was that not a bloke
Dave Oh you mean the one that looked like Mr Ed
Chris And then there was some Welsh girl, fat if you ask me
Dave Oh God yeah she was scary looking too, the one that made me laugh was Adam from Dorset, the one that couldnt put his arms down. He looked like He-Man with silly hair.
Chris Will pointed this out to me afterwards. When youre going to reveal the winners, Dave, how would you do the reveal to build up tension?
Dave Well I would take my time and I would probably put in a long drumroll
Chris Thats a very good idea, now why didnt Kerry do that last night, well technically she would argue that there was a drumroll. Now Will, heres one for you, how long would you let the drumroll last
Will About 5 seconds I would say
Chris Have a listen to how many seconds it lasted for
TEAM LAUGH
Will Timing, it was not even half a second
Chris Where was the tension? There was more tension in her bloody support bra than there was for reading out the winner. Unbelievable. Greco is even worse, you cant even hear him. I switched over to ITV2 for the extra bit and it looked like they were doing it from a shed
Dave You said that was funnier than the ITV1 show
Chris Awful, and to prove the point they were sexy, they had Vanessa on with that lump shes going out with
Dave what does she know about a/ fitness and b/ being sexy
Will Well tonight its on again live with the teachers so if I was producer of the show I would tell them to instill a bit more tension. I really want to see if they learnt from their mistakes.
Chris We will talk about this every day this week
---------------------Kerry McFadden-----------------------------------------
Chris Guy Ritchie also in Heat, looking Jewish, he says that he wanted Madge to keep her respberries in, Now I thought they were bigger than that. Will what fruit is the size of Madonnas breasts?
Will Maybe an aubergine
Dave I though aubergines were cylindrical shaped
Will Kellys got melons
Chris Kelly who
Will No Kerry thingy, the look like two space hoppers
Chris Jesus she looks like shes smuggling two bald headed kids through customs under her jumper. (adopts STUPID SCOUSE ACCENT) {HIYA, Im Kerry McFadden and I know what youre thinking, theyre bloody huge arent they}. Be honest has any man ever in the last few weeks, especially when she does that Elimidate programme, has any man actually looked at her straight in the eye? Could you even tell me what colour her eyes are. She could be boss eyed for all I know, Ive never looked above the chest. You cant help it though, can you! Women are the same, they say have you seen the size of her knockers, its unbelievable. When she takes off her bra, she must trip up.
Dave Its great Tv though dont you think?
Chris What, her breasts?
Dave Yeah, just generally, I think she enhances the shows enormously
Chris God I tell you, that baby
Will No Chris, dont do that gag, its tastleless, not the one about the stretchmarks either
-------------------Chris talks about the Trucks and Porn------------
Chris You dont see old porn in parks anymore which I find a shame, and cider.
Will Interesting point, I think its the Internet because you dont even have to leave the bedroom no more, no need to search around hedges
Chris Whys that
Will Apparently theres nudey ladies on the Internet
Chris Apparently? Is there really, Ive never seen any, I obviously must be looking at the wrong sites, im looking at caravanning.co.uk and myfavouriteteddybears.com, nothing there. Do you know there will be some sad loser out there now typing in my favouriteteddybears.com. By the way I have a fantastic story so ill drop a record to tell you it but ill need the ducks
Chris Bear with me now, there is someone I know who goes by the name of (hens) and lives (hens) and this person says to me when he goes to bed with his missus he can always tell when the bloke upstairs is on his computer because he can hear his chair squeaking. (team all tittering) And we were in the pub on Saturday and this bloke goes. he was at it again the other night eek uh eek uh eek uh telling everybody in the pub and he says. I know when hes in the flat on his own because it gets louder, normally its kind of muffly discreet one but the chair gets faster and faster and then stops and then you hear the toilet flushing and he goes to bed.
Dave This is the unlikely lads we are talking about it, isnt it?
Chris I cant say anything more than that
Will Off the air with the hens could you enlighten us as to who it is out of the two
(hens)
Will Oh shame, would have been funnier if it was the other one really
Chris No but seriously, how can I ever look that guy in the eye now or shake his hand. I was in the pub the other night with him and I asked him what he was up to. He said just in the flat on his computer, do you want a pint. No ill get it myself I said.
--------------------------Oh No, Back To Greco---------------------------
Dave Im looking forward to Britains Sexiest Dinnerladies
Chris Thats not this week
Dave I hope it is
Will I just cant wait to see what Greco is wearing tonight, can he top the outfit he wore yesterday?
Chris Describe for people who werent in the know what he was wearing?
Will He was wearing a black shirt, a very cool nice black shirt, he was wearing a black tie which together might have been a nice combination except it was with the open top big fat knot hanging down look
Chris It was a real kipper tie wasnt it
Dave Dont you think he looked dirty as well?
Chris What do you mean about that? Filthy in Bed?
Dave No, No, he was unshaven
Chris Hes always unshaven
Dave Yeah but he was particulary unshaven and he looked like hed been up a chimney or something
Chris No he didnt look that bad, do you want to know what he will be wearing tonight?
Will Yeah lets find out
Chris Shall I send him a text?
Will Yeah lets find out
Chris How do you want me to write it?
Will Say Dear Grecs, love the show...
Chris ...no, what will you be wearing tonight on the telly?
Dave Do you think he is talking to you?, Do you think he will respond?
Chris Well he didnt respond last night when I sent him a text after the show saying Are you OK, hes under Star Behind the Bar, or Office World, he gets very upset by that
Will Well I think we have topped that today, its a shame because I hate to criticise every single show hes in
Chris Do you think hes in with his agent and said Listen when I told you that soap stars normally go to ITV for its big dramas, not doing Britains Sexiest with that bird from Atomic Kitten with the big jugs. It amazing he can look at the autocue in the eye standing next to her because hes taller than her as well. I mean its worth watching tonight just to watch his eyes and see if he has a little peek downwards like that, I Would
Daves Tedious Links
Soup Dragons - Soup is Hot - So is Majorca - Majorca is a favourite holiday destination for Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas - Douglas is the capital of the Isle Of Man - The Isle Of Man is famous for its Manx Kippers - Kippers rhymes with strippers - Strippers work in lap dancing clubs - Peter Stringfellow owns a lap dancing club - He might possibly be the kind of person who uses viagra - Viagra rhymes with Niagara - Niagara is a famous North American Waterfall - That links us to Waterfall by TLC (wouldve been better if he would have picked Waterfall by the Stone Roses but thats only my opinion)
