chrismoyles.net
- Thu Jan 30, 2003 6:37 pm
#241620
1. Jaimeson-True, 2. Bubba Sparxx-Ugly, 4. Pink - Just Like A Pill, 5. Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Can't Stop NEWS 7. Girls Aloud-Sounds Of The Underground, 8. Layo & Bushwacka-Love Story, 9. LL Cool J - Paradise 10. TATU-All The Things She Said 12. Kosheen - Hide You, 13. Jodi Lei–Show Time, 14. Coldplay–The Scientist, 15. Christina Aguilara –Beautiful, NEWS, 18. Ms Dynamite, 19. Busta Rhymes-Make It Clap, NEWS, 20. Electric 6-Danger High Voltage, 21. Roger Sanchez-Another Chance, 22. Blazing Squad-Reminisce, SNOWWATCH, 23. Avril Lavigne-Sk8er Boi, 24. Kelly Osbourne-Shut Up, 25. Weezer-Buddy Holly, 26. Sean Paul-Gimme The Light, 27.Eminem-Lose Yourself
(sorry bout the missed ones, Thursday is Playlist Update in Radio 1 and we dont know some of the new tracks)
It was snowing in London and Chris was moaning about the cold spell that has come across the country in the past few days. The first link was mainly filled with tripe about Footballer's Wives which I don't watch, so I can't be bothered writing anything about it. (thats right Sidla, keep up the good work, I think its tripe as well)
Aled went to bed at 8:45 last night because he had to get up early to look after Louis the cat. Chris suggested that he should get a system like Dr. Brown had from Back to the Future which automatically fed Einstein in the morning, and Aled said he would if they existed. Chris was annoyed that no-one at Leeds United seems to know what's going on with the team. In an attempt to find out and deliver a pointless piece of comedy at the same time, Chris rang 'Elland Road' to find out what's going on. Comedy Dave answered the phone. Dave said Jonathon Woodgate is
leaving to go to leave Leeds to go to Newcastle United. Then Chris asked if Jonathon Woodgate is leaving Leeds and Dave answered no! After the news, Chris rang back and Dave didn't even know that Robbie Fowler had left.
Chris went through today’s newspapers. He is particularly amused by the fact that Dominic Mohan got a e-mail from ‘Madonna’. The team wanted to know how Dominic knows it was really Madonna and not a hoax.
Chris talked about TV last night and the way Soaps always put the cliffhanger on Fridays. Dave is going out tonight drinking with some buddies from 5 Live. Chris wasnt going until he heard that where Dave is going, has some Page 3 Luvvlies coming to it as guests. Chris previewed tonights television which included Hollyoaks. Dave said that he has had to suffer some of the omnibus editions with his girlfriend. Will said that hes watched it for 4 hours but still nothing goes into his head. He called it a Chick show like Dawsons Creeks which usually follows it on a Sunday. Chris said the TV is switched off when it comes on. Surprisingly Aled has never watched it. Aled was caught laughing after the Make It Clap record, you can sort of guess why without me explaining. Which goes to the best bit and lo and behold its time for a transcript.
Chris - I want to talk about something now and I dont want to breach the taste and decency guidelines.
Dave (guffaws) - Never!
Chris - ... but I wanna ask a question, its one of these boys questions, any females listening to the show ignore this completely because you will never understand what im about to say anyway so just go with it ok. Dont even ask, if your with your husband or your partner in the car, do not look at him and go do you do that and to all the blokes listening if they do you obviously go no the guys an idiot. Ive just been to the toilet for a pee and Ive been going to the loo all day.
Dave - So have I.
Chris - Ive been peeing lots today. Now you know when you go out and your in the pub, Lets say your watching the football and you decide to have a night of it. Now Im one of these guys that after 4 or 5 pints I still dont need to go to the toilet but as you say Dave...
Dave - Once you pop you cant stop.
Chris - Yeah you go once, thats it, you want to go 10 minutes later.
dave - You break the seal, dont you?
chris - But then the next day or you go home afterwards and you go oh im dying to go to the toilet, is it just me or what that sometimes when I go to the toilet and you stand there and go ahhhhhhhhhh, oh God Ive been waiting for that, good God, oh blimey, oh its still going, bloody hell how much have i had to drink, look at this, no hands, you put your hands up in the air and its still going like a fountain. Now ive often stood there and I want all the men to be honest, have you ever thought I wonder how much that is?. I wonder if that could fill a pint glass or more. Ive always wanted to know.
Will - So what your saying is that your in the pub and had 5 pints and you want to see whether you get your five pints back.
Chris - Well... pretty much... yes. Ive loved to know how much I pee. Do you pee the same amount as you consume? Heres the next thing, have you ever took a glass and peed in it and its nearly overflowed and you have to chuck it in the basin.
Will - You know when your supposed to drink a certain amount of water per day. You carry a big thing of water to work and drink it and that makes you wee more, you do wonder whether you can put all the wee back into the bottle again.
Chris - Well you wouldnt want to drink it again after you filled it with...
Will - No, obviously not, but you do actually wee more because alcohol is a diruetic which means it takes the water from your body.
Chris - So your saying if I drink 5 pints of beer, I could infact wee 6 pints?
Will - Something like that yes.
Chris - Wow!
Will - Thats why you get hangovers cos all the water goes out your body and your body dehydrates.
dave - But have you never had to urinate say in a plastic lemonade bottle on a coach on a long journey.
Chris - Mmmm, sorry.
Dave - So you can see how much ...
Chris - No Ive never done that no (sounds like hes lying) have you Will, no not me either, tell us about that Dave?
Dave - (digs hole) Well some people have done that, its not big or attractive but sometimes when your on the motorway on a long journey and you cant stop the vehicle so you pee in that because you simply cant wait, I believe, that way you can see if you can do half a pint.
Chris - If were being really honest here, Ive done a Coca Cola tin.
Dave - No, you'd cut yourself surely.
Chris - Ahh, now what you do to be precise is that you dont make contact with the top of the can, just leave a little gap but youve gotta be able to... its like the old gag, you know when you go to the toilet and theres a sign saying We aim to please, so you aim too please, you know that kind of thing.
Dave - Or the other one that says If you are reading this line you are now peeing on your shoe
Chris - What?
Dave - Have you never seen that one, cos if you follow the line down, its one of those mind tricks things.
Chris - Ok, you drink in some strange places dont you.
Aled - Dont you get spray when you do like, a coke can, you would never get it in that hole.
Chris - Yeah you can, I did, but then the sad thing is. Alright without getting into too much detail I was on the 6th floor of a block and the toilets were all the way down to the floor level and then round a corrider. I knew I wasnt going to make it, saw the coke can, it was empty, and thought Ok noones here and so I did, lovely lovely, boys back in the dungeon that sort of thing, zipped up lovely lovely, wipe your hands on the chair, all done. Then I had this coke can full of you know and Im like what do I do with it. So I chucked it out the window. I looked, there was noone below, it was alright, Is That Rain, I bloody hope so Luv.
Daves Tedious Link
Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince Boom Shake The Room - Dj Jazzy Jeff shares the same christian name as Jeff Bridges who in turn shares his surname with Michael Bridges - Michael Bridges is still at Leeds Utd as is Terry Venables... just - Terry Venables is a respected singer and football pundit - Pundit sounds a bit like Punnet which is a recepticle for carrying strawberries - A strawberry has nothing to do with straw and a gooseberry has nothing to do with geese and is in fact a term for a third party who hangs with a couple in the middle - Menage A Trois is french for a meal for 3 - 3 is the magic number - Number rhymes with Humber which is a bridge and also a river - River Phoenix is a dead Hollywood star - Buddy Holly is also a dead Hollywood star - Which links us to Weezer and Buddy Holly from 1995
(sorry bout the missed ones, Thursday is Playlist Update in Radio 1 and we dont know some of the new tracks)
It was snowing in London and Chris was moaning about the cold spell that has come across the country in the past few days. The first link was mainly filled with tripe about Footballer's Wives which I don't watch, so I can't be bothered writing anything about it. (thats right Sidla, keep up the good work, I think its tripe as well)
Aled went to bed at 8:45 last night because he had to get up early to look after Louis the cat. Chris suggested that he should get a system like Dr. Brown had from Back to the Future which automatically fed Einstein in the morning, and Aled said he would if they existed. Chris was annoyed that no-one at Leeds United seems to know what's going on with the team. In an attempt to find out and deliver a pointless piece of comedy at the same time, Chris rang 'Elland Road' to find out what's going on. Comedy Dave answered the phone. Dave said Jonathon Woodgate is
leaving to go to leave Leeds to go to Newcastle United. Then Chris asked if Jonathon Woodgate is leaving Leeds and Dave answered no! After the news, Chris rang back and Dave didn't even know that Robbie Fowler had left.
Chris went through today’s newspapers. He is particularly amused by the fact that Dominic Mohan got a e-mail from ‘Madonna’. The team wanted to know how Dominic knows it was really Madonna and not a hoax.
Chris talked about TV last night and the way Soaps always put the cliffhanger on Fridays. Dave is going out tonight drinking with some buddies from 5 Live. Chris wasnt going until he heard that where Dave is going, has some Page 3 Luvvlies coming to it as guests. Chris previewed tonights television which included Hollyoaks. Dave said that he has had to suffer some of the omnibus editions with his girlfriend. Will said that hes watched it for 4 hours but still nothing goes into his head. He called it a Chick show like Dawsons Creeks which usually follows it on a Sunday. Chris said the TV is switched off when it comes on. Surprisingly Aled has never watched it. Aled was caught laughing after the Make It Clap record, you can sort of guess why without me explaining. Which goes to the best bit and lo and behold its time for a transcript.
Chris - I want to talk about something now and I dont want to breach the taste and decency guidelines.
Dave (guffaws) - Never!
Chris - ... but I wanna ask a question, its one of these boys questions, any females listening to the show ignore this completely because you will never understand what im about to say anyway so just go with it ok. Dont even ask, if your with your husband or your partner in the car, do not look at him and go do you do that and to all the blokes listening if they do you obviously go no the guys an idiot. Ive just been to the toilet for a pee and Ive been going to the loo all day.
Dave - So have I.
Chris - Ive been peeing lots today. Now you know when you go out and your in the pub, Lets say your watching the football and you decide to have a night of it. Now Im one of these guys that after 4 or 5 pints I still dont need to go to the toilet but as you say Dave...
Dave - Once you pop you cant stop.
Chris - Yeah you go once, thats it, you want to go 10 minutes later.
dave - You break the seal, dont you?
chris - But then the next day or you go home afterwards and you go oh im dying to go to the toilet, is it just me or what that sometimes when I go to the toilet and you stand there and go ahhhhhhhhhh, oh God Ive been waiting for that, good God, oh blimey, oh its still going, bloody hell how much have i had to drink, look at this, no hands, you put your hands up in the air and its still going like a fountain. Now ive often stood there and I want all the men to be honest, have you ever thought I wonder how much that is?. I wonder if that could fill a pint glass or more. Ive always wanted to know.
Will - So what your saying is that your in the pub and had 5 pints and you want to see whether you get your five pints back.
Chris - Well... pretty much... yes. Ive loved to know how much I pee. Do you pee the same amount as you consume? Heres the next thing, have you ever took a glass and peed in it and its nearly overflowed and you have to chuck it in the basin.
Will - You know when your supposed to drink a certain amount of water per day. You carry a big thing of water to work and drink it and that makes you wee more, you do wonder whether you can put all the wee back into the bottle again.
Chris - Well you wouldnt want to drink it again after you filled it with...
Will - No, obviously not, but you do actually wee more because alcohol is a diruetic which means it takes the water from your body.
Chris - So your saying if I drink 5 pints of beer, I could infact wee 6 pints?
Will - Something like that yes.
Chris - Wow!
Will - Thats why you get hangovers cos all the water goes out your body and your body dehydrates.
dave - But have you never had to urinate say in a plastic lemonade bottle on a coach on a long journey.
Chris - Mmmm, sorry.
Dave - So you can see how much ...
Chris - No Ive never done that no (sounds like hes lying) have you Will, no not me either, tell us about that Dave?
Dave - (digs hole) Well some people have done that, its not big or attractive but sometimes when your on the motorway on a long journey and you cant stop the vehicle so you pee in that because you simply cant wait, I believe, that way you can see if you can do half a pint.
Chris - If were being really honest here, Ive done a Coca Cola tin.
Dave - No, you'd cut yourself surely.
Chris - Ahh, now what you do to be precise is that you dont make contact with the top of the can, just leave a little gap but youve gotta be able to... its like the old gag, you know when you go to the toilet and theres a sign saying We aim to please, so you aim too please, you know that kind of thing.
Dave - Or the other one that says If you are reading this line you are now peeing on your shoe
Chris - What?
Dave - Have you never seen that one, cos if you follow the line down, its one of those mind tricks things.
Chris - Ok, you drink in some strange places dont you.
Aled - Dont you get spray when you do like, a coke can, you would never get it in that hole.
Chris - Yeah you can, I did, but then the sad thing is. Alright without getting into too much detail I was on the 6th floor of a block and the toilets were all the way down to the floor level and then round a corrider. I knew I wasnt going to make it, saw the coke can, it was empty, and thought Ok noones here and so I did, lovely lovely, boys back in the dungeon that sort of thing, zipped up lovely lovely, wipe your hands on the chair, all done. Then I had this coke can full of you know and Im like what do I do with it. So I chucked it out the window. I looked, there was noone below, it was alright, Is That Rain, I bloody hope so Luv.
Daves Tedious Link
Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince Boom Shake The Room - Dj Jazzy Jeff shares the same christian name as Jeff Bridges who in turn shares his surname with Michael Bridges - Michael Bridges is still at Leeds Utd as is Terry Venables... just - Terry Venables is a respected singer and football pundit - Pundit sounds a bit like Punnet which is a recepticle for carrying strawberries - A strawberry has nothing to do with straw and a gooseberry has nothing to do with geese and is in fact a term for a third party who hangs with a couple in the middle - Menage A Trois is french for a meal for 3 - 3 is the magic number - Number rhymes with Humber which is a bridge and also a river - River Phoenix is a dead Hollywood star - Buddy Holly is also a dead Hollywood star - Which links us to Weezer and Buddy Holly from 1995
