The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
User avatar
By Chris
#241842
DALE DAY
Image
1. Christina Aguilera feat Redman - Dirrty 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above, 3. Kelly Rowland - Can’t Nobody, 4. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out, 5. BUZZ OFF - Tom Jones & The Cardigans - Burning Down The House, 6. Robbie Williams - Sexed Up 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Kelis - Milkshake, 8. Roger Sanchez - Another Chance, 9. Busted - Who's David, 10. Kevin Lyttle - Turn Me On, 11. Stereophonics - Movie Star 8:00 NEWSBEAT 12. The Darkness - Growing On Me, 13. Ultrabeat - Feelin' Fine, 14. Outkast - Hey Ya, 15. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under The Bridge 8:30 NEWSBEAT 16. Pink - God Is A DJ, 17. Big Brovaz - Nu Flow, 18. Tomcraft - Loneliness, 19. Maroon 5 - Harder To Breathe, 20. Stone Roses - Fools Gold (Tedious Link), 21. The Black Eyed Peas - Shut Up, 22. Deepest Blue - Give It Away, 23. Nelly Furtado - Powerless, 24. Will Young - Leave Right Now 9:30 NEWSBEAT 25. N Sync feat Nelly - Girlfriend, 26. Basement Jaxx feat Lisa Kekaula - Good Luck, 27. Sugababes - Round Round

There was a big breaking news story at the start of today’s show. The Newsbeat milk had gone missing. Dom said it was no ordinary milk as it was “News milk”. While it was being discussed Aled ran in with a litre of semi-skilled that he’d just bought himself, although Chris thought he was lying and had nicked it. Dom and Dave said it was Rachel who was to blame. Rachel said it wasn’t her but ten seconds later added “I wasn’t aware it was news milk”. Chris began with another big EastEnders link after he watched two episodes last night (he accidentally put it down as a series link on his Sky Plus). The link was full of the usual stuff about why everyone goes to the launderettes instead of using their washing machines etc. One thing Chris has noticed recently though is the fact that when a big argument kicks off in the Queen Vic, the volume on the jukebox always goes down or off completely. Chris wanted to know who the culprit is that keeps turning it down. Today’s Buzz Off tune was Burning Down The House by Tom Jones & The Cardigans, which only lasted for only 2 mins and 3 secs before being buzzed off. Dave and Rachel were first, then Aled (despite Chris reminding him Tom Jones is welsh) and then the listeners. Dave said he hates that version and said it ruins a Talking Heads classic. Chris said he didn’t have the original in his personal collection so couldn’t play it. Dave had a go and Chris replied “So sue me”, which is kind of apt at the moment.

WINTON ON THE WIRELESS:
After last weeks chat on the phone, Dale was in live on the show for almost two hours (preferring to stay until the end instead of leaving at 9). Dale said he’d been up since 5 as he needed to let his face settle before going on the show (erm..it’s radio), Chris had a lie-in though as he woke up at 5.20 despite his alarm going off at half 4. Chris’s driver into work (Chunk) is now a daddy. Chris said hello to Chunk, Mrs Chunk and their new Chunkette. Dominic said his driver this morning greeted him by saying “Morning Sir - Do you want a chat or to get your head down?”. It provided Chris with a nice punchline out of the news and Chris said “and I thought my driver was generous with polo mints in the morning”. Chris had presents galore for Dale as usual. The main one was (as promised last week) a shower radio so Dale can listen to the show in the shower (kind of self explanatory really). Chris said he didn’t buy it though, it was sent in free. Dale had also been bought a novelty liquid soap holder which when you press the soap, farts. Dale said the pic of himself on it looked alarmingly like Chris. Chris asked Dale about the time he was fat and asked if he had any tips for Rachel as she’s “a bit of a porker”.
Dale - kettle calling the pot black here, what’s going on?
Chris - Hey I’m anorexic!
Dave - You’re dyslexic
Chris - Shut up
Dale said he goes on power walks because his walkman skips if he jogs. Chris asked people to show their support for Rachel in her fight to beat the fat and text in the words “Go Rachel”. 5500 texts came in in the space of 2 records, Rachel said her mum would be proud. Today is Weightwatchers Weigh-In Wednesday so we’ll find out how much Rachel has lost (or more likely put on) tomorrow.

More fat people now as Chris watched Celebrity Fit Club on ITV1 last night, which Dale kind of now presents. Chris slagged off Vanessa Feltz and the fat sweaty Australian pig Jono Coleman, but Dale wasn’t joining in as he has to see them on Saturday. Dale talked about the time he first met Harvey (the bald american trainer from the marines) and Harvey had never heard of Dale before. Harvey said to Dale that he had heard Dale was “da man”, but Dale said the look on his face when he heard his camp tones was priceless. Chris had some specially commissioned camp beds to play throughout the interview. Pick Of The Pops on R2 is the only radio Dale does anymore. He said he was asked to present a weekday show on a BBC station last year but couldn’t because of his TV commitments. Dave asked if it was 1Xtra. Chris talked about the time Dale was a guest on Live With Chris Moyles and the fact that Sophie worked as producer on one of Dale’s shows, The Number One Party which went out on New Years Day 2003. Dale said Sophie kept saying she was Chris’s girlfriend. Warning him off basically. Chris asked Dale to read the weather at the end of the 8:30 and 9:30 newsbeat bulletins. Dom handed over for the “Word on the weather with Winton’s Winter Weather Watch”. Chris said the BBC probably would have produced six half hour TV specials on “Winton’s Weather” ten years ago. Chris opened the lines for listeners to call in with questions for Dale. Like on afternoons, Dale chose whether to hear the question or to just move onto the next caller. All the callers were dullards and it’s saying something when the best question was “What’s your favourite gadget around the house?”. Dale said definitely Sky Plus but...
Dale - I’ve also got this new mobile phone that’s driving me nuts
Chris - Is it? God that’s powerful!!
(an oldie but still a gooden)
Aled is doing a photo-shoot tomorrow for “The UK’s 50 most eligible bachelors”. Chris thought there must have been a mix-up with the addresses. Aled’s got a massive spot on his forehead though and was worrying. Dale told him to buy some concealer from Oxford Street called “Touche Eclat”. Rachel on the other hand wanted to squeeze it and Dave told Aled just to wear a plaster on it like Nelly.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK SO GOOD WE PLAY IT TWICE:
Day 3 today and after two rounds each with both Chris and Coxy, the top of the leaderboard shows Lisa on 13, Alex on 11 and Kate on 9. The top 4 scores qualify for the final on Friday morning when one listener will win a trip to go to New York with Radio 1, the weekend after next.

CONTESTANT: NICK from Cambridge who sounded very camp and seemed to be flirting with Dale, until he revealed he has a girlfriend called Sabrina. (Dave asked if she was a teenage witch - very original)
QUESTIONS: (A=answer, 1pt correct, correct answers in italics)
1. Jennifer Aniston is married to which movie heartthrob? (A - Brad Pitt) 1
2. What is the name of Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s son? (A - Dunno) X 0 (Rocco)
3. Which North American country lies to the north of the United States? (A - Canada) 1
4. True or False - Sean Puffy Combs is a famous New Yorker? (A - True) 1
5. Which actress links the films Erin Brockovich and Ocean’s Eleven? (A - Julia Roberts) 1
6. Which American band have just announced forthcoming UK gigs in Edinburgh, Manchester and a 85,000 gig at London’s Hyde Park? (A - Red Hot Chili Peppers) 1
7. In which US city would you find the Bronx? (A - New York) 1
8. What is the name of Chris Martin’s pregnant partner? (A - Gwyneth Paltrow) 1
9. Which actor links the films Indiana Jones, Patriot Games and What Lies Beneath? (A - Pass) X 0 (Harrison Ford)
10. What do the americans call the boot of their car? (A - Hood) X 0 (Trunk)
11. Sex In The City actress Sarah Jessica Parker is married to which Hollywood actor? (A - True) X 0 (Matthew Broderick)
12. True or False - director Ron Howard starred in 1970’s sitcom Happy Days? (A - True) 1
13. Where in the world would you find Times Square? (A - New York) 1
14. Which former child actor starred in the Home Alone films? (A - Macaulay Culkin) 1
15. What is the name of New York’s world famous theatre district? (A - Soho) X 0 (Broadway)
16. Which actor links the characters Bruce Almighty and Ace Ventura? (A - Jim Carrey) 1
TOTAL SCORE = 11 POINTS, meaning Nick moves into joint second spot.

CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
ANONA a Warwick Uni lecturer in criminal law from Birmingham 2
NICK a frozen foods lorry driver from Weston-Super-Mare 1

Dale - It’s so good to have you on breakfast
Chris - Everyones enjoyed you being on the show today. Their all asking if you can be on every week. Juliette wants you to fill in when I go on holiday...
Dale - She is gorgeous
Chris - Eh are you blind? Juliette’s the one on the right. Are you looking at the right one?
Dale - That one through the glass?
Chris - No that’s Dominic

Daves Tedious Link
Take That Pray - Pray was also the title of a single by M.C. Hammer - The plural of hammer is hammers as in The Hammers which is the nickname of West Ham United - West Ham United are managed by Alan Pardew who split acrimoniously with Reading - The word Reading contains exactly the same spelling and letter formation as reading which makes up one of the three R’s - The three R’s shouldn’t be mistaken for the “Three Amigos!” which was a 1986 film starring Steve Martin and Chevy Chase - Chevy Chase is one of the few celebrities in the world whose first and last names begin with the same letter - another of course being Dougie Donnelly - Dougie Donnelly shares the same christian name as Doogie Howser MD who made history by being the youngest person to qualify as a doctor - Dr Alban despite his name was actually a dentist and therefore specialised purely in teeth - Teeth need to be cleaned on a daily basis as do fish - Fish can breathe underwater - Underwater is where you find most ship wrecks, many of which are laden with hidden treasures such as pearl necklaces and gold - and surely anybody who lets their gold sink to the bottom of the ocean must be a fool and therefore the sort of gold you find down there must be “Fools Gold” - which links us to The Stone Roses and Fools Gold

FLAW
* You don’t need to clean fish everyday, you clean fish tanks

Sat and today are up

Changes at Radio One

Scott Mills is finally getting a Breakfast Show, a[…]