The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241846
1. Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Pink - God Is A DJ, 3. Tomcraft - Loneliness, 4. Stereophonics - Movie Star, 5. BUZZ OFF - Seahorses - Love Is The Law, 6. Christina Aguilera feat Redman - Dirrty 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Outkast - Ms. Jackson, 8. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out, 9. Jay-Z - Change Clothes 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. The La’s - There She Goes, 11. The Black Eyed Peas - Shut Up, 12. Boogie Pimps - Somebody To Love, 13. The Thrills - Santa Cruz (You’re Not That Far) 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. Travis - Sing, 15. Jaimeson feat Angel Blu & CK - Take Control, 16. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love, 17. Arrested Development - Mr. Wendal (Tedious Link), 18. The Strokes - Reptilia, 19. Raghav - Can't Get Enough, 20. Kelis - Milkshake, 21. Angel City feat Lara McAllen - Love Me Right 9:30 NEWSBEAT 22. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above, 23. Destiny’s Child - Bootylicious, 24. Kevin Lyttle - Turn Me On, 25. Lostprophets - Last Train Home

At long last Chris has joined a gym. He joined one yesterday but can’t actually visit it until today due to “stupid gym reasons”. Chris went into a big rant about all the things he hates about the gym, including the annoying “membership women”, one of whom he was forced to talk to yesterday. He told the story of how after he finally signed up and paid his signing-on fee (which he doesn’t understand the point of), he went for a look around and spotted one of his bessy radio mates on the treadmill. Yep, that Australian fat pig himself - Mr Jono Coleman. That was the first ever Guess Who on the breakfast show (guessed correctly by Dave) and later on Aled and Dave had their celebrity spottings to share with the class. Aled’s was Ewan McGregor, who he saw round the corner from Radio 1 last week (Rachel guessed right) and Daves was “star” of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here and....erm, Russian Roulette - Rhona Cameron. Chris said that compared to Aled’s A-Lister that was ruuubish and if she counts as a Guess Who, then he forgot to mention that he bumped into PJ from Big Brother 3 recently. Dave had another celebrity spotting but wouldn’t play properly after Chris ridiculed his first effort. It was only Dr Hilary anyway so it’s a good job Chris just played a record. Buzz Off today was Seahorses and Love Is The Law. It lasted for bang on three minutes with Aled first to buzz, then Rachel, then the listeners and Dave last. The damp problem in Chris’s bathroom has now reached fever pitch and as a result, Chris had a man on his hands and knees in his bathroom all last night (he said Aled was jealous). Chris therefore missed most of I’m Not A Celebrity Get Me In Here with Ant & Dec on ITV1, but still had enough audio to take the piss out of Peter Andre all show. He also had another clip where Ant was telling Jordan to “take that”. She replied “get it in” as he told her to “go on girl”. Chris said that he really couldn’t comment. Dominic thought that Jordan came across very well last night (so to speak).

The early starts on the new show have clearly been having their effects on Comedic Dave as yesterday he spent most of his lunchtime in the office working on a new set of awards loosely based on next month’s Brits and this week’s predicted snow (it’s snowing outside as I write this actually). These awards celebrate the fine work put in by the gritters of the UK and are ingeniously entitled “The Grit Awards 2004”. The four main awards to be handed out are The Best Male Gritter, The Best Female Gritter, Best Newcomer To Gritting and the award for Outstanding Contribution To Gritting. Chris opened the lines for people to ring in, nominating either themselves or someone they know for these prestigious prizes. Dave wondered who should host this years inaugural ceremony, opening the way for a barrage of texts containing crap puns on the word “grit”. These included Gritstina Aguilera, Gritney Spears, Brad Gritt, Fern Gritton, Gritt Rhys Jones, Gritti Palitti (target) and Dave Gritty himself. However, my favourite text came from David in Northampton who kind of summed it all up nicely - “I don’t give a grit”.

MOYLES GOES TO THE TOON:
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Chris had more big billboard news after 8 today. There are shockingly no show billboards up in Aberystwyth, Kidderminster or....Newcastle. Chris was outraged that the BBC North East had taken up their opt-out option and placed ads for the local BBC News in their place. He wanted to do something about it and suggested hiring a lorry, pasting a billboard on to each side (with a bit of sellotape or prit stick) and then dumping Aled in the front to wave to passers-by (he’s waving). Aled wasn’t feeling the love from the Tyneside public though, so Chris and Dave decided to teach him how to shout “H’way the lads”, which would undoubtedly endear him to the Geordies. Unfortunately, the camp tea-maker struggled to understand and shouted out “H’way lads!!”. Chris took the pee out of Aled’s Geordie accent, although his was no better. Aled and Dave both also gave their brief interpretations of the Yorkshire accent, which amused Chris. Chris decided that all the team (including Dom who’s never been to Newcastle) will drive up after Thursday’s show and they will do the show live from the Toon on Friday. Chris was convinced it will happen and Rachel said she’d see what she could do. Dave (as ever) said to the people of Newcastle that...”If you invite us, then we will come”. So this Friday while Sara Cox is live in New York, Chris will be live in New...castle. Chris asked for texts from the North East encouraging him to visit their fine city. The response was lacking in numbers at first and Chris wondered why, because they wouldn’t be listening to Metro Radio (the main local station up there) as it’s crap. Chris got up the website to check out his competition. The bloke who does the breakfast show is called Brian Moore, who I bizarrely have the autograph of somewhere (don’t ask, it’s a long story) and Chris was less than impressed. Mainly with the standard of the website (which is poor like all other emap station websites) and the fact the guy who does the evening show is simply known as “Wayne”. If your interested the website is here.

Vernon Kay rang Chris yesterday asking for advice about something and Chris wanted to tell the story on the air. Dave said it was very funny but Chris couldn’t repeat it as it would be severely detrimental to Vernon’s future at Radio 1....
Rachel - Do you want to be responsible for his short lived career at Radio 1?
Chris - I’d love to be, yes
Vernon texted Chris telling him he couldn’t tell the story on the air. Chris called him a yellow belly chicken and then rang him live. Vernon said he told Chris in confidence and in the end Chris gave in and decided not to say. Vernon makes a short cameo appearance in Hollyoaks on Channel 4 this Friday, the same day incidentally that Peter Kay makes his Coronation Street debut. Dom was quick off the mark today and pointed out the fact that they were both called Kay and would both be in soaps on Friday. Dave added “and their both from Bolton”....
Chris - God, it just keeps getting better and better today. Metro Radio don’t have any of the high quality linkage we’ve got!!...and now Rachel’s gonna say something even more entertaining...
Rachel - Call now for Carpark Catchphrase, 08700 100 100
Chris - It’s like a local radio morning crew isn’t it?
(Dom & Rach clap and cheer in the background, Dave does his arriba sound effects)
Chris - What’s that number again Rach?
Rachel - 08700 100 100!!
Chris - Great, now go do the dishes
(Chris plays The Strokes amongst more clapping & cheering in a Steve Wright in the afternoon stylee)

CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
NIKKI a cider drinking insulation sales rep from Somerset 2
CHRIS a hotel manager from Aberdeen 0

Daves Tedious Link
Madonna Like A Prayer - The word “Prayer” rhymes with hair which is what you might have cut by a barber - Barber first name Glynis is the name of the actress that played Makepeace in the 80’s cop drama Dempsey & Makepeace - Which in 1986 featured a cameo appearance by Suzi Quatro - Suzi Quatro shouldn’t be mistaken for Audi Quattro which is a classic car famed for it’s rallying pedigree - Pedigree is something you might order in the pub as is Boddingtons - Boddingtons launched the career of Melanie Sykes who now enjoys fame and fortune as the on-screen partner of Des O’Connor - Des O’Connor has enjoyed chart success over the years and in that respect shares something in common with Jimmy Nail - Jimmy Nail shares the same Christian name as Jimmy Tarbuck who is a regular on the Celebrity Golf Circuit along with Radio 1’s very own DJ Spoony - If you remove the last letter of the word “Spoony” your left simply with “Spoon” which is a necessary tool for the enjoyment of soup - Soup is often served with a roll - The word “roll” consists of just four letters much like the words “Cops” and “Jail” - Jail is where you might end up if you were to get arrested by Cops - and when you think of the word “Arrested” in the context of early 90’s commercially successful pop/rap crossover combos you think of Arrested Development - Which links us to Arrested Development and Mr. Wendal

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