chrismoyles.net
- Thu Mar 04, 2004 8:00 pm
#241874
1. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Britney Spears - Toxic, 3. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Fortune Faded, 4. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above, 5. BUZZ OFF - The Divine Comedy - National Express, 6. Christina Aguilera feat Lil' Kim - Can’t Hold Us Down 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. The Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama, 8. Richard X feat Kelis - Finest Dreams, 9. Travis - Love Will Come Through, 10. Deepest Blue - Give It Away, 11. The Charlatans - Love Is The Key 8:00 NEWSBEAT 12. D. Kay & Epsilon feat Stamina MC - Barcelona, 13. Usher feat Ludacris - Yeah, 14. Blink 182 - I Miss You, 15. Tomcraft - Loneliness, 16. George Michael - Amazing 8:30 NEWSBEAT 17. Pink feat William Orbit - Feel Good Time, 18. Beenie Man feat Ms.Thing - Dude, 19. Stereophonics - Maybe Tomorrow, 20. Guns N’ Roses - Sweet Child O’ Mine (Tedious Link), 21. Jamelia - Thank You, 22. Peter Andre feat Bubbler Ranx - Mysterious Girl, 23. Lostprophets - Last Train Home 9:30 NEWSBEAT 24. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling, 25. Jennifer Lopez feat Ja Rule - Ain’t It Funny (Remix), 26. The Strokes - 12:51, 27. N*E*R*D - She Wants To Move
Despite Chris feeling awake and up for it this morning (the show obviously), he said he is finding the early alarm calls more and more difficult as the weeks go by. This morning he chose to go back to sleep rather than get up and in the end he didn’t stumble out of bed until 5:30. Dave hopes the early starts will be easier in the summer when the mornings are lighter, but for now his top tip for Chris was to get in the shower as soon as possible, before he falls back to sleep. Chris said that he hates his shower though and is so lazy that a bath is just too much hassle for him. Instead, he just does the underarm sink wash. His early morning routine now also involves a bowl of Special K and a bit of BBC News 24. The fact that Chris was sober today meant he was feeling a bit better than normal, although he did say beer actually perks him up and doesn’t make him feel shattered like certain other people...*cough* Dave *cough*. Chris was in bed at half ten last night, an hour earlier than usual. Aled told him that he still isn’t getting enough sleep though and said he should go to bed at 8 o’clock like he does. Chris said if he did, then he too would have no life. Dave said he spent all his childhood dreaming of going to bed after 8pm so he doesn’t want to go back on that now. Dominic is the member of the team getting the least amount of sleep at the moment as his baby son Finton (and no I didn’t make that name up) keeps waking him up constantly throughout the night. Todays brilliant Buzz Off choice certainly woke the team up a bit - National Express by The Divine Comedy (which Dave had been humming while walking home only yesterday). Aled wasn’t really feeling it’s vibe though and had had enough after just 23 seconds. Chris told him he had no taste and should go away (well he is - more on that later). Rachel buzzed next on 1:20, the listeners followed on 3:10 and Dave was last on 3:38 (he would have let it run further but buzzed for timings after being put under pressure by Rach). Aled was more interested in the lyrics to the classical piece Chris plays at 7:20 before the Buzz Off song itself. The song is called O Mio Babbino Caro, from Gianni Schicchi as performed by Maria Callas. Aled said the lyrics weren’t actually as soothing and relaxing as the music would suggest, because translated in to English they include “Oh God I would rather die”. Chris said that was fine and correctly pointed out that worse would be - “My eyes are bleeding and my limbs have fallen off as I shuffle around on my arse cheeks into a pit of despair and deprivation”. Despite the tea, coffee, toast and marmite bagels in the studio today, they still couldn’t overhaul the stench of Juliette’s new perfume called Irresistible. Dave said it was totally resistible. Chris said Jules may be an excellent journalist, sportscaster and have crackin breasts, but that really did stink. Chris said in a way it was similar to Dave and his Lynx, as when he sprays it around you need to be out of the city let alone the studio. Dave said Chris was wrong...
Dave - I think you’ll find that ladies largely find it irresistible
MOYLES AT THE POPS:
After getting Mysterious Girl re-released and “back in the charts and back in our hearts”, Chris has “decided” to appear on tomorrow night’s Top Of The Pops on BBC1 and introduce his great mate Peter Andre as this weeks Official UK Number One. Dave said it was very kind of Chris to appear on national television in this most humble way. Chris said he was doing it for free though and was just after the free drinks in the bar afterwards. Dave (although unaware until Chris told him on air) is also going, as is the newly nicknamed poppa-Dom Byrne and possibly Jules as well. Rachel and Aled can’t be there though as they will both be overseas. Rachel is going to Paris for the weekend with her friend Kate from Kiddy (nudge nudge wink wink) and is setting off on Friday afternoon. In his new role as cross atlantic celebrity, Aled is in New York City this weekend so also can’t be there. He actually flew out after the show today so brought his bag in to the studio just before ten o'clock. Dave described it as “a small car” and Chris said he had never seen a bag that size for a two night stay in his life. Aled protested but in vain. Chris had three pairs of VIP tickets to give away to lucky listeners for tomorrow nights live show at TV Centre. They included guest list and Pops bar access, the chance to watch the afternoon rehearsals and....wait for it - the chance to meet Peter Andre and Mr Comedic Dave himself. Random callers were picked after the separate cue to call tracks from show guests Usher, Beenie Man and Andre, with tickets going to to Jane and Katie in London and Kara in Whitley Bay (home of Geordie Scott). This was after an on-air technical crisis at 8:15, where the phones weren’t working for the first ticket giveaway. Chris tried all lines but there was nothing coming through the faders and he thought it had just crashed, right at their peak audience as well...
Dave - This is going to have an adverse effect on our phone based feature isn’t it?
Before the phones were eventually fixed, Chris made Dave’s mic very tinny and Dave pretended he was actually called Jemima, was from Bradford and was phoning up for the competition. Chris said to Dave that that was a bit of a random name and he wondered where it came from. Dave didn’t know and he said he wasn’t sure whether Jamima is a popular name in West Yorkshire or not.
LISTEN AGAIN - MOYLES VS THE ARCHERS:
As I mentioned the other day, the show is still second behind The Archers on the most-listened to shows list on the BBC Radio Player. So instead of pussyfooting around and saying they were happy with second spot, Chris has launched a blatant campaign to get the show to the top of the Listen Again charts. Of course some people interpreted this as Chris having something against The Archers, although he said he honestly didn’t. As a kind of incentive for more people to visit Listen Again and up the figures, there is now an extra competition ONLY for the Listen Again audience. In the live show Chris will leave 5 seconds of dead air, which will be filled on Listen Again by Rachel (in her poshest radio voice) announcing a special word. Todays was lemonade. Each time the competition is run and you hear the hidden word, fill out this form and if your answer is right and you’re randomly selected as the winner, you will win one of a limited number of Chris Moyles Show mugs (as drank out of by Kylie this week). Chris said explaining this competition was very difficult as it was too late for some people to enter before it had even started (i.e the ones listening on listen again over the weekend or in the early part of next week). Dave said Listen Again is actually a bit like Back To The Future when you think about it.
Chris is thinking about getting himself a personal trainer to aid him in his fight to beat the fat. Since joining a gym in January, Chris has been just once and he said he really needs to get his new fitness campaign up and running now. Since last year Chris has been getting bigger and bigger, although he said he thoroughly enjoyed putting that 2 stone back on. Now though he plans to get back to his Great North Run weight so he can take to the beach at Filey while looking good this summer. In fact himself and Sophie visited a sauna and swimming pool type place in Luxembourg at the weekend. Chris said him getting out of the sauna and into the pool was not a pretty sight (as he jumps in, the water jumps out). Dave said “it’s kind of like UK Sumo”. Chris said it was boiling in the sauna, so hot infact that he had to take his jumper off (ber-dum cha *symbol*). Chris said that his dressing gown was so small that he couldn’t fasten it, meaning he was walking around like a fat David Hasselhoff. Dom and Rachel thought that Chris should get a personal trainer but Dave and Jules didn’t. Dave said he could see Chris wasting even more money as he still wouldn’t go. Aled asked Chris if he preferred a good looking trainer or not. Chris said he didn’t mind but if Jet from Gladiators wanted to get in touch then he wouldn’t say no (her real name is Diane Youdale - Chris said there’s some nice shots of her in this months Maxim). Dave said that if she became Chris’s personal trainer he would have to have a Gladiators nickname. His suggestions included larger, lager, pork pie and hippo. One text suggested Chris get someone from the army in to train him. Chris said no as when Gym Lady Jane had her list of Gym Idols training the team in 2002, some army fella they had one day was a right pain in the arse. Chris said he just wanted to kick him in the balls and run off. Hard man Moyles. Chris may have been feeling fitness friendly today but the news of McDonalds axing their Super size menu came as a real sickener. Supposedly in the future there will be more salad, fruit and milk on the menu - that Dave termed “McMilk”. Daves phone wasn’t on silent and went off mid-link at ten past nine. It was a girl called Rachel as the phone was so close to the mic you could clearly hear her speaking. Producer Rachel was angry that there was another Rachel in Dave’s life. Chris asked Dave why he was having an affair with a girl called Rachel and passing himself off as a Hollywood movie stunt man and not as a breakfast radio sidekick from Hong Kong. Dave denied these scurrilous rumours but wouldn’t talk about it on air - “I don’t think the listeners want to know about my private life’. Also after 9, a text came in picking up on the same point I made last week. It relates to this nasty habit that Dave seems to have developed - telling the time every single link and then more than once...
Chris (reading text) - It says “Can Dave stop telling the time at the end of every sentence, it’s very very annoying”. What do you say to that Dave?
Dave - It’s Tuesda.....no it’s not...it’s Thursday
(whole team laughs at him)
Chris - Right let’s do it again Dave. “Can Dave stop telling the TIME at the end of every sentence”. What have you to say to that Dave?
Dave - It’s 9:34
Chris - There you go...Bingo!!!
(plays jingle)
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
AIDAN a compost deliverer from Bognor Regis 2
SHARON a housewife with an annoying laugh from Ashford 0
DOM KARAOKE GAG - DAY 4 - After much messing about at around five to ten, Dom was given his big chance to finally sing as Elvis. Somehow though (must have been gremlins in the system) the CD got stuck and Dom was deprived of yet another Elvis attempt. Dave said “What were the chances of having a technical * up there?”. I’ve got a feeling there’s a good week left in this gag at least. Place your bets now.
Daves Tedious Link
All Saints Never Ever - Former All Saint Natalie Appleton is married to Liam Howlett - If you remove the first letter of the word “Howlett” you get owlett, which is a term for a baby owl - The owl and the pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea-green boat - Boat rhymes with goat, which is an animal capable of making cheese and in that respect shares something in common with a cow - Cowes is a place on The Isle Of Wight - White is a colour frequently worn by dental hygienists - Dental Hygienists are in the business of teeth - Teeth are a part of the body that you brush, another part of course being your hair - A hare of a different type is very similar to a rabbit - Rabbits eat carrots - Carrots are orange, as is a clementine - Clementine was a hit for Mark Owen - Mark Owen shares the same surname as Michael Owen - Michael Owen has just become the proud father of a baby girl and I would imagine that when he is walking around with his new born daughter, passers by would probably look in the pram and say “Oh, what a sweet child” - and I imagine perhaps that Michael’s response would be something like “Thank you, yes..she’s a sweet child of mine” - Which links us to Guns N’ Roses and Sweet Child O’ Mine
FLAW
* Goats aren’t capable of making cheese
Despite Chris feeling awake and up for it this morning (the show obviously), he said he is finding the early alarm calls more and more difficult as the weeks go by. This morning he chose to go back to sleep rather than get up and in the end he didn’t stumble out of bed until 5:30. Dave hopes the early starts will be easier in the summer when the mornings are lighter, but for now his top tip for Chris was to get in the shower as soon as possible, before he falls back to sleep. Chris said that he hates his shower though and is so lazy that a bath is just too much hassle for him. Instead, he just does the underarm sink wash. His early morning routine now also involves a bowl of Special K and a bit of BBC News 24. The fact that Chris was sober today meant he was feeling a bit better than normal, although he did say beer actually perks him up and doesn’t make him feel shattered like certain other people...*cough* Dave *cough*. Chris was in bed at half ten last night, an hour earlier than usual. Aled told him that he still isn’t getting enough sleep though and said he should go to bed at 8 o’clock like he does. Chris said if he did, then he too would have no life. Dave said he spent all his childhood dreaming of going to bed after 8pm so he doesn’t want to go back on that now. Dominic is the member of the team getting the least amount of sleep at the moment as his baby son Finton (and no I didn’t make that name up) keeps waking him up constantly throughout the night. Todays brilliant Buzz Off choice certainly woke the team up a bit - National Express by The Divine Comedy (which Dave had been humming while walking home only yesterday). Aled wasn’t really feeling it’s vibe though and had had enough after just 23 seconds. Chris told him he had no taste and should go away (well he is - more on that later). Rachel buzzed next on 1:20, the listeners followed on 3:10 and Dave was last on 3:38 (he would have let it run further but buzzed for timings after being put under pressure by Rach). Aled was more interested in the lyrics to the classical piece Chris plays at 7:20 before the Buzz Off song itself. The song is called O Mio Babbino Caro, from Gianni Schicchi as performed by Maria Callas. Aled said the lyrics weren’t actually as soothing and relaxing as the music would suggest, because translated in to English they include “Oh God I would rather die”. Chris said that was fine and correctly pointed out that worse would be - “My eyes are bleeding and my limbs have fallen off as I shuffle around on my arse cheeks into a pit of despair and deprivation”. Despite the tea, coffee, toast and marmite bagels in the studio today, they still couldn’t overhaul the stench of Juliette’s new perfume called Irresistible. Dave said it was totally resistible. Chris said Jules may be an excellent journalist, sportscaster and have crackin breasts, but that really did stink. Chris said in a way it was similar to Dave and his Lynx, as when he sprays it around you need to be out of the city let alone the studio. Dave said Chris was wrong...
Dave - I think you’ll find that ladies largely find it irresistible
MOYLES AT THE POPS:
After getting Mysterious Girl re-released and “back in the charts and back in our hearts”, Chris has “decided” to appear on tomorrow night’s Top Of The Pops on BBC1 and introduce his great mate Peter Andre as this weeks Official UK Number One. Dave said it was very kind of Chris to appear on national television in this most humble way. Chris said he was doing it for free though and was just after the free drinks in the bar afterwards. Dave (although unaware until Chris told him on air) is also going, as is the newly nicknamed poppa-Dom Byrne and possibly Jules as well. Rachel and Aled can’t be there though as they will both be overseas. Rachel is going to Paris for the weekend with her friend Kate from Kiddy (nudge nudge wink wink) and is setting off on Friday afternoon. In his new role as cross atlantic celebrity, Aled is in New York City this weekend so also can’t be there. He actually flew out after the show today so brought his bag in to the studio just before ten o'clock. Dave described it as “a small car” and Chris said he had never seen a bag that size for a two night stay in his life. Aled protested but in vain. Chris had three pairs of VIP tickets to give away to lucky listeners for tomorrow nights live show at TV Centre. They included guest list and Pops bar access, the chance to watch the afternoon rehearsals and....wait for it - the chance to meet Peter Andre and Mr Comedic Dave himself. Random callers were picked after the separate cue to call tracks from show guests Usher, Beenie Man and Andre, with tickets going to to Jane and Katie in London and Kara in Whitley Bay (home of Geordie Scott). This was after an on-air technical crisis at 8:15, where the phones weren’t working for the first ticket giveaway. Chris tried all lines but there was nothing coming through the faders and he thought it had just crashed, right at their peak audience as well...
Dave - This is going to have an adverse effect on our phone based feature isn’t it?
Before the phones were eventually fixed, Chris made Dave’s mic very tinny and Dave pretended he was actually called Jemima, was from Bradford and was phoning up for the competition. Chris said to Dave that that was a bit of a random name and he wondered where it came from. Dave didn’t know and he said he wasn’t sure whether Jamima is a popular name in West Yorkshire or not.
LISTEN AGAIN - MOYLES VS THE ARCHERS:
As I mentioned the other day, the show is still second behind The Archers on the most-listened to shows list on the BBC Radio Player. So instead of pussyfooting around and saying they were happy with second spot, Chris has launched a blatant campaign to get the show to the top of the Listen Again charts. Of course some people interpreted this as Chris having something against The Archers, although he said he honestly didn’t. As a kind of incentive for more people to visit Listen Again and up the figures, there is now an extra competition ONLY for the Listen Again audience. In the live show Chris will leave 5 seconds of dead air, which will be filled on Listen Again by Rachel (in her poshest radio voice) announcing a special word. Todays was lemonade. Each time the competition is run and you hear the hidden word, fill out this form and if your answer is right and you’re randomly selected as the winner, you will win one of a limited number of Chris Moyles Show mugs (as drank out of by Kylie this week). Chris said explaining this competition was very difficult as it was too late for some people to enter before it had even started (i.e the ones listening on listen again over the weekend or in the early part of next week). Dave said Listen Again is actually a bit like Back To The Future when you think about it.
Chris is thinking about getting himself a personal trainer to aid him in his fight to beat the fat. Since joining a gym in January, Chris has been just once and he said he really needs to get his new fitness campaign up and running now. Since last year Chris has been getting bigger and bigger, although he said he thoroughly enjoyed putting that 2 stone back on. Now though he plans to get back to his Great North Run weight so he can take to the beach at Filey while looking good this summer. In fact himself and Sophie visited a sauna and swimming pool type place in Luxembourg at the weekend. Chris said him getting out of the sauna and into the pool was not a pretty sight (as he jumps in, the water jumps out). Dave said “it’s kind of like UK Sumo”. Chris said it was boiling in the sauna, so hot infact that he had to take his jumper off (ber-dum cha *symbol*). Chris said that his dressing gown was so small that he couldn’t fasten it, meaning he was walking around like a fat David Hasselhoff. Dom and Rachel thought that Chris should get a personal trainer but Dave and Jules didn’t. Dave said he could see Chris wasting even more money as he still wouldn’t go. Aled asked Chris if he preferred a good looking trainer or not. Chris said he didn’t mind but if Jet from Gladiators wanted to get in touch then he wouldn’t say no (her real name is Diane Youdale - Chris said there’s some nice shots of her in this months Maxim). Dave said that if she became Chris’s personal trainer he would have to have a Gladiators nickname. His suggestions included larger, lager, pork pie and hippo. One text suggested Chris get someone from the army in to train him. Chris said no as when Gym Lady Jane had her list of Gym Idols training the team in 2002, some army fella they had one day was a right pain in the arse. Chris said he just wanted to kick him in the balls and run off. Hard man Moyles. Chris may have been feeling fitness friendly today but the news of McDonalds axing their Super size menu came as a real sickener. Supposedly in the future there will be more salad, fruit and milk on the menu - that Dave termed “McMilk”. Daves phone wasn’t on silent and went off mid-link at ten past nine. It was a girl called Rachel as the phone was so close to the mic you could clearly hear her speaking. Producer Rachel was angry that there was another Rachel in Dave’s life. Chris asked Dave why he was having an affair with a girl called Rachel and passing himself off as a Hollywood movie stunt man and not as a breakfast radio sidekick from Hong Kong. Dave denied these scurrilous rumours but wouldn’t talk about it on air - “I don’t think the listeners want to know about my private life’. Also after 9, a text came in picking up on the same point I made last week. It relates to this nasty habit that Dave seems to have developed - telling the time every single link and then more than once...
Chris (reading text) - It says “Can Dave stop telling the time at the end of every sentence, it’s very very annoying”. What do you say to that Dave?
Dave - It’s Tuesda.....no it’s not...it’s Thursday
(whole team laughs at him)
Chris - Right let’s do it again Dave. “Can Dave stop telling the TIME at the end of every sentence”. What have you to say to that Dave?
Dave - It’s 9:34
Chris - There you go...Bingo!!!
(plays jingle)
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
AIDAN a compost deliverer from Bognor Regis 2
SHARON a housewife with an annoying laugh from Ashford 0
DOM KARAOKE GAG - DAY 4 - After much messing about at around five to ten, Dom was given his big chance to finally sing as Elvis. Somehow though (must have been gremlins in the system) the CD got stuck and Dom was deprived of yet another Elvis attempt. Dave said “What were the chances of having a technical * up there?”. I’ve got a feeling there’s a good week left in this gag at least. Place your bets now.
Daves Tedious Link
All Saints Never Ever - Former All Saint Natalie Appleton is married to Liam Howlett - If you remove the first letter of the word “Howlett” you get owlett, which is a term for a baby owl - The owl and the pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea-green boat - Boat rhymes with goat, which is an animal capable of making cheese and in that respect shares something in common with a cow - Cowes is a place on The Isle Of Wight - White is a colour frequently worn by dental hygienists - Dental Hygienists are in the business of teeth - Teeth are a part of the body that you brush, another part of course being your hair - A hare of a different type is very similar to a rabbit - Rabbits eat carrots - Carrots are orange, as is a clementine - Clementine was a hit for Mark Owen - Mark Owen shares the same surname as Michael Owen - Michael Owen has just become the proud father of a baby girl and I would imagine that when he is walking around with his new born daughter, passers by would probably look in the pram and say “Oh, what a sweet child” - and I imagine perhaps that Michael’s response would be something like “Thank you, yes..she’s a sweet child of mine” - Which links us to Guns N’ Roses and Sweet Child O’ Mine
FLAW
* Goats aren’t capable of making cheese
