The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241896
1. Usher feat Ludacris - Yeah 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Basement Jaxx feat JC Chasez - Plug It In, 3. Stereophonics - Have A Nice Day, 4. No Doubt - It’s My Life, 5. BUZZ OFF - U2 & BB King - When Love Comes To Town, 6. The Black Eyed Peas feat Justin Timberlake - Where Is The Love 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. The Rasmus - In The Shadows, 8. Jay-Z feat Beyonce Knowles - 03 Bonnie & Clyde, 9. McFly - 5 Colours In Her Hair, 10. Will Young - Your Game 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. D. Kay & Epsilon feat Stamina MC - Barcelona, 12. N*E*R*D - She Wants To Move, 13. Ash - Orpheus, 14. Avril Lavigne - Complicated 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Britney Spears - Toxic, 16. Faithless - We Come One, 17. Coldplay - Clocks, 18. EMF - Unbelievable (Tedious Link), 19. Nelly Furtado - Try, 20. The Streets - Fit But You Know It, 21. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know, 22. Pete Doherty & Wolfman - For Lovers 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling, 24. Divine Inspiration - The Way, 25. Pink feat William Orbit - Feel Good Time

Wes Buttersby was running a little late on Early Breakfast today and still had a trail and a song left to go when Chris burst onto the air at 6:55, saying he had been waiting for Wes to play a record for ages and just couldn’t wait to get on the air. If you read yesterday’s review you may remember that last night was meant to be Chris and Dave’s first night in of the week. It quickly became obvious that it hadn’t been and Chris said he really did feel as bad as he sounded this morning. It turns out him and Dave had met in the pub at 1pm yesterday for a lunchtime meeting regarding Reverse-a-word, but the meeting ended up lasting a little longer than either of them had expected. Dave left at half seven and Chris at 10, after a marathon nine hour drinking session. He blamed that on the fact that his mates Martin, Ian and Kevin all turned up at various points of the afternoon/evening. Chris said him and Dave aren’t really great mates off the air and don’t socialise half as much as they should. However, each day this week the pair of them have worked together in the morning (in fact all day on Wednesday) then gone out together at night, Chris said someone will start spreading rumours soon. In fact they even have another social engagement together tonight. Dave said he is sick of going out. Both received separate calls from their partners last night, with both of them saying that the other sounded drunk. Dave said him and Chris obviously spoke the same language as neither sounded drunk to the other last night. Chris admitted he was still slightly tipsy when the show began this morning and Dave chose to describe his own state as “a little bit delicate”. Emma found Dave asleep on the bed fully clothed last night and called him a waster. Dave said he was simply “having a nap”. The great opening to the show continued with technical trouble during the 7:00 Newsbeat bulletin. Dom preferred to think of it as “a blistering start”. Chris played Basement Jaxx and Stereophonics out of the news and then opened up the microphones...
Chris - are they being sarcastic?
Dave - Who?
Chris - Stereophonics...Have A Nice Day? I can’t even see...(Dave and Chris both laugh)...you know what I mean?

As well as Chris and Dave, Aled also got drunk last night. Him, Jules and Rachel all went to Company Magazine’s 50 Most Eligible Bachelors party in London, where Aled was of course paraded on stage as one of the contestants. He said the evening went OK overall, but unfortunately he didn’t make it through to the big national final (he wants to rig the regional vote to win now). Aled was pleased that Gordon from Glasgow and fellow welshman Alun from Cardiff finished first and second respectively last night. He said that Gordon was wearing a kilt with nothing on underneath, so when Tara Palmer Banarama lifted it up (to quote Aled) “600 girls in the audience got an eyeful”.
Chris - Blimey..(laughs)...They should have been wearing goggles!!
Dave - There’s an image for ten to nine in the morning

It turns out Natalie Jamieson from Entertainment News was also there last night. She had recorded some audio from various people there, all commenting on Aled and his outfit. One clip was from some drunken slut shouting out “Tell Chris I think Aled is the sexiest man in the world and I want to touch him all over”. Chris said he had just two words - dog alert. Earlier in the show Rachel said that it was so good last night that the band on between the voting were none other than...Phixx (Whoooo?). They are the rejects from Popstars The Rivals apparently. Chris said they must be pretty bitter that they lost if they’ve formed a band called Phixx.
Dave - Wasn’t one of them knocking off her out of Girls Aloud?
Rachel - Oh I dunno
Chris - Dave...”knocking off”?
Dave - Sorry
Chris (laughing) - Seriously, it’s quarter past seven
(Rachel and Aled laugh)
Chris (pause) - Which one was he knocking off?
Dave - Sarah, from Stockport
Chris - Right OK yeah

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CHICKS WIN TIX:>>>> Up for grabs this morning were tickets to Liverpool versus Blackburn Rovers this Sunday at Anfield. Chris said Dave was in a bit of a saucy mood today as in the script he wrote “why not pleasure your man by winning him tickets”. Vicky beat Emma by correctly identifying Gerard “the lads played well” Houllier as Liverpool’s current manager. Vicky said that she’d take her cousin from Bermuda with her to the game on Sunday.

GLASTONBURY AND RACHEL’S SOUNDALIKE CLAIRE:
Glastonbury ticket trouble was dominating the news this morning and in the 7:30 bulletin Dom played a clip of a girl called Claire Jones moaning about not being able to get tickets. She was holding a Glastonbury ticket party with nine of her friends in Stourbridge last night...and sounded exactly like Rachel. Rache denied that they were related, although they do share the same surname. Off the air Dominic managed to track down Claire and got her to record a message to Chris appealing for help in getting her Glasto tickets. Chris put on his deep voice-over-voice and got out his sad music at 8:30, appealing for listeners to help her out. Chris got a barrage of abuse on the text because he’d forgotten the thousands of other people trying to get through as well as Claire. Chris didn’t care (let’s face it this Claire girl sounded cute). Dominic had some funny audio from the Newsbeat interview with her and her friends last night, where Claire (who’s 27) could be heard saying off mic that she’d love Chris to say she has a beautiful accent. Someone laughed but she replied (in the broadest Worcestershire/brummie accent you’ve ever heard) “Oh he loves it, he works with Rachel...the girl from Kiddyminster!!”. Rachel said she was feeling homesick listening to that. Chris said sick certainly was the word. Claire was live on the phone at 9:15. She said she had such a great time at Glastonbury last year and really wanted to go again this year. Chris said he’s never been before and can’t go again this year either as he will be away on holiday. He therefore had a pair of tickets courtesy of Radio 1 to give away to her (whether they were his or not I don’t know). Claire was extremely happy but didn’t cry, which disappointed Chris as he wanted to use her blubbing on the weekend trail. Dominic Byrne was recording an interview this morning with Glastonbury organiser Michael Eavis (about the overnight ticket chaos), and jokingly asked him if McFly would be playing there this year. Let’s just say Mr Eavis didn’t take the joke in the spirit it was intended.
Rachel (plugging the lines for Carpark Catchphrase) - 08700 100 100
Dave - What a beautiful voice Rachel
(Chris starts Try by Nelly Furtado)
Dave - Talking of beautiful voices...
Chris - Yes?
Dave (crashing vocal) - I’m just trying to think who it is
(Chris, Dave and Rachel laugh)

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Buzz Off this morning was the 1989 number 6 hit for U2 & BB King - When Love Comes To Town. Aled buzzed first on 1:53, Dave second on 2:34 and Rachel third on 2:35 (Chris took the track off when Rache buzzed for some reason). Chris was playing the song from his Ultimate Blues CD and noticed that there was a sticker on the front of it that read “property of Capital Radio Music Library”. Chris said he’d obviously <s>stolen</s> borrowed it when he was worked for Capital FM, but never gave it back. Chris said the catalogue number was 7859 if anyone from Capital was listening. Aled and Chris then got into a conversation about charge codes that Rachel made yawning gestures to. Chris stopped the trail and told Rache that if she was finding the show that boring then she should get out of the studio. He called her an ugly miserable cow and refused to play a trail until she left the room. Out of the next record Chris begged her to come back and Dave said he’d really upset her. Floods of texts came in condemning Chris’s bullying tactics, but he insisted that they loved each other really.
Chris - Don’t you love me Rache?
Rachel (off mic) - 7:31
Chris - Right there you go, that’s true love you see. Ask a woman if they love you and they tell the time...true love

Chris and Rache were busy making up in another room when Bonnie & Clyde by Jay-Z and Beyonce finished out of the 7:30 segway. They pegged it back to the studio at lightning speed and Chris said it’d given him a stitch. Dave felt partially responsible for their late arrival, saying he’d been watching the clock on the record tick down, but thought it was the first one out of the news not the second. Next Monday of course sees the start of Colin and Edith on Radio 1 weekdays. Chris played another one of their fantastic LOTR type trails this morning.
Chris (off the back of it) - That’s an amazing trail, it’s just a shame that Colin’s rubbish
(starts Clocks by Coldplay)

Reverse-a-word filming is now just five days away and this morning Chris confirmed the two contestants who will accompany team captains Rachel and Aled in becoming part of television history on Challenge TV. They both auditioned for the job on yesterdays show and are (drum roll please)...Justin Wattley from Truro and Karl Williams from Biggleswade. Rachel was wondering what she should wear for her appearance on the show. Dave recommended a bikini...or a one piece bathing suit.
Rachel - What are you trying to say?
Dave - Nothing
Rachel - Stop
(pause) Dave - ...collaborate and listen
(Chris, Aled and Rachel laugh)
Dave - Rachel’s back with her brand new invention
Chris - All right stop it now
Dave - 8:48
Chris - Good mornin


ONE BIG WEEKEND IN DERRY - LINE UP CONFIRMED:
Chris announced the line up this morning for Radio 1’s first One Big Weekend of 2003. It’s in Londonderry as part of BBC Music Live in Northern Ireland and will take place on Prehen Playing Fields over the weekend of April 24th and 25th (the 24th is Comedy Dave’s birthday BTW - I only know that cos it’s two days after mine). The Dance Line Up on the Saturday is as follows:- Pete Tong & Seb Fontaine, Judge Jules & Fergie, Arman Van Buren, Agnelli & Nelson, Tall Paul & Col Hamilton, Deep Fried Funk, Celtronic DJ’s and the mighty Faithless. The Bands Line Up on the Sunday consists of Kelis, The Streets (joy), Keane, Ash, Franz Ferdinand and Avril Lavigne. Chris said he has a Streets parody in mind and wondered whether or not Mike Skinner would appreciate it, something he needs to consider seen as though the two of them are bound to bump into each other in Derry. Rache said she thinks they will both end up being close buddies in the future. I don’t. I say that cos Mike Skinner apparently called Chris a knobhead when he was interviewed on Coxy’s show later in the day. Tickets go on sale for the dance day at 5pm on Saturday April 10th. Col Hamilton will be giving them away in Guild Hall Square in Derry (with a 2 per person limit). Colin and Edith will be giving away tickets for the bands day at 8 o’clock in the morning on Friday April 16th. Tim from Ash was on the phone to chat about One Big Weekend, live from his big gold rock n roll tour bus somewhere in Belgium. The interview was brief and dull. Chris kissed Tim’s arse a bit about their new single Orpheus and talked about the time him and Dave went to the Coachella festival a couple of years ago (Ash are playing there this summer y’see).
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(Ash, Avril and Kelis all there in Derry on the Sunday - Part of BBC Music Live)
More details - http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/events/obw2004.shtml (loads of stuff about OBW on there)

CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
SCOTT an estate agent from Exeter 2
OWEN a line painter parked on a housing estate in Bury 1
** Scott stumbled his words when introducing himself, he said it was because he was nervous about speaking to the man himself...
Chris - So what? I’m just a fat bloater from Leeds mate, that’s all I am
Scott - You are indeed yeah
Chris - All right, you’re meant to disagree
Scott - Oh sorry
**

Daves Tedious Link
Eminem My Name Is - Eminem is the stage name of Marshall Mathers, in the same way that Sting is the stage name of Gordon Sumner - Gordon Sumner is from Newcastle, as is Donna Air - Air is made up of oxygen, hydrogen and a whole assortment of other gases - The word gases begins with the letter “g”, much like the word “goggles”, which are often worn for swimming - Swimming is a word that is often included in the same sentence as the word “trunks”, which in turn is often associated with the word “elephants” - Elephants never forget - Never Forget was the penultimate single from Take That - Take That were managed by Nigel Martin Smith - Nigel Martin Smith shares two names in common with Everton goalkeeper Nigel Martyn, who surely should be included in Sven’s squad for Portugal - Portugal borders only one country and that is Spain - Spain is a major European producer of fruit - Fruit grows on trees - Trees are commonly found in forests - and one of the most famous forests in Gloucestershire is The Forest Of Dean, which curiously is home to the band EMF - Which links us to EMF and Unbelievable

GEORDIE KID’S LAST DAY:>>>>
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(Geordie Kid Scottie)
Chris ended today’s show with some very sad news. He said behind the scenes the show is put together by a very hard working team...and Will. One of the members of that hard working team is of course Geordie Kid Scottie. In Chris’s words Scott used to be “an internet geek who worked upstairs with the rest of the nerds he secretly despised”. However, since January Scott has been working on the breakfast show with Aled, on the phones etc. Today is his last day though, so Chris and the team had bought him a present and a card to wish him goodbye and good luck. Scottie unwrapped it while the final theme tune played and hit the end vocals perfectly by shouting “Oh it’s another bloody alarm clock!!!”. Scottie said he had got six already but thanked the whole team (all of whom had gathered in the studio at this point) for the gift anyway.

WEEK HIGHLIGHTS:
SHOW OF THE WEEK: Every single show good this week. Hard to pick a best one but I’ll go for Thursday
MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: Reverse-a-word & M4 Lucozade clock links on Monday (+ half time), Russ from Derby & Carpark Catchphrase on Tuesday, Half time on Wednesday, Opening link & Aled in Company Mag on Thursday, Chris and Rache arrive back late + last link today. (Don’t forget you can Listen Again to all the weeks shows at Chris’s R1 mini-site).

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