chrismoyles.net
- Wed Apr 07, 2004 10:51 am
#241899
1. Jamelia - Superstar 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling, 3. ODB feat Kelis - Got Your Money, 4. Pete Doherty & Wolfman - For Lovers, 5. BUZZ OFF - Beastie Boys - (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party), 6. Kanye West - Through The Wire 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Basement Jaxx - Where’s Your Head At, 8. Eamon - F**k It (I Don’t Want You Back), 9. Busted - Air Hostess, 10. Christina Aguilera feat Redman - Dirrty 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. D12 - My Band, 12. Oceanlab - Satellite, 13. Coldplay - Don’t Panic, 14. 50 Cent - If I Can’t 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. The Rasmus - In The Shadows, 16. Pink feat William Orbit - Feel Good Time, 17. The Black Eyed Peas feat Justin Timberlake - Where Is The Love, 18. Outkast - The Way You Move, 19. House Of Pain - Jump Around (Tedious Link), 20. Blink 182 - I Miss You, 21. Natasha Bedingfield - Single, 22. Usher feat Ludacris - Yeah, 23. Ash - Orpheus 9:30 NEWSBEAT 24. Britney Spears - Toxic, 25. Eminem - The Real Slim Shady, 26. Deepest Blue - Give It Away, 27. Dido - Don’t Leave Home
Today is a momentous day in the life of Dave Vitty. That’s because the pilot of his first ever TV show is filmed later, at the old RI:SE studios in London (it’s jinxed straight away then). Chris asked him how he was feeling on the morning of the big day...
Dave - I feel like an expectant father just about to give birth to a whole new quiz show format
Chris interviewed him on the air about Reverse-a-Word today, leaving little gaps after his answers in case Newsbeat wanted to put them into a package and use them on the 12:45 edition. Dave said he thought up the idea of Reverse-a-Word based on the fact that “everybody knows it’s very difficult to spell words backwards” (genius). Dave said that all the Reverse-a-Word team, crew, directors, lighting people, wardrobe staff and cast are looking forward to the day immensely. Chris noted that appearing on the seven minute Challenge TV show will be Scott Mills (the host), Rachel and Aled (team captains), Jules and Dom (team contestants) and Dave himself (as presenter of the Reverse-a-Word trophy). In other words, everyone but Chris will be on the telly. Dave said that this was down to the fact that DVE (Dave Vitty Entertainment) couldn’t afford the fee that Mr Moyles was demanding. The show is being incredibly cheaply made in fact, so much so that Dave received some slightly alarming news from Will yesterday. Will has found out that there is not enough money available to get into the editing suites and edit the show, so it has to be recorded “as live” with no mistakes today. As anyone who heard the on air rehearsal yesterday will testify, that’s not great news. The team have to be in the studio by about 11 o’clock this morning. Dave said he might pick up some tinnies on the way there,although just to calm his nerves of course. The team are all going out for celebratory drinks after the filming, although Rachel wasn’t too sure whether to go or not as she was meant to be going to the gym this afternoon. The seven minute Reverse-a-Word pilot will go out on Challenge TV at 9:50pm on Tuesday 13th April (it clashes with the Leeds - Everton game unfortunately). Chris wanted to know when the repeats were to be shown and quite obviously visited this place to find out. He more or less read out word-for-word the item that I posted in the main news section, including my line at the bottom about Challenge being available on NTL and Telewest Broadand (a site mention would have been nice Chris...hint hint). Chris didn’t mention his two Sony nominations either today in case you’re wondering. Dave is getting paid diddly squat by Princess Productions and Challenge for Reverse-a-word, so therefore gets no repeat fee (it’s meant to be 70% of the original sum apparently). Dave said the show was his “intellectual property” after all, so therefore said he needed to speak to his legal department about the matter. Oh and if you’re that lazy that you can’t be arsed to check the news section of the site, the Reverse-a-Word repeats are at 4:50pm and 9:50pm on Wednesday 14th April. I’ll have news on how the days filming went on this page tomorrow.
(Scott Mills doing his best impression of Dale Winton)
Sticking with the subject of crappy satellite channels, Chris received an e-mail from Nigel May of AVAGO TV (Sky channel 181) yesterday. You might remember that this is the guy that Chris was gay flirting with on the afternoon show a few months back. Nigel was getting in touch to let Chris know he will be presenting his last show (AVAGO balls) on AVAGO at 10pm this Saturday. Dave said that was very sad news, although Dom said it was just sad full stop. Chris said Dom wasn’t in a position to talk as he admitted the other day that he’s a big fan of virtual horse racing. Chris said Aled was sadder than both of them put together though as he has a personal account on Bid-up.tv and more or less knows the full presenter line up. There was actually quite a lot of Aled bashing going on in the show today, particularly after Buzz Off and during half time. Buzz Off was from that famous welsh band The Beastie Boyos - their number 11 1987 hit (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party). Aled buzzed first on 1:56, saying that he wasn’t in the mood for such a racket at 20 past 7 in the morning. The way Aled pronounced “racket” brought on Welsh impressions from Chris and Dave, that slowly but surely turned into Mexican and Avid Merrion-esque voices. Rachel was second to buzz in on 2:58 and Dave followed right at the end of the song on 3:23. During half time, it was brought to Chris’s attention that Aled was wearing a rainbow elasticated belt...around his chest. He said he was wearing it there cos he thought it was funny. Chris sensed the chance to have some fun at Aled’s expense and tied his hands together behind his back with the belt. He then booted him up the arse and tickled him while Aled squealed, squirmed and screamed...
Aled (shouting off mic) - Stop it Chris!!! Ouch!!
(Chris laughs)
Dave (into the mic) - You’re listening to Radio 1, it’s Wednesday the 7th of April with the time approaching 12 minutes past 9
Aled said he’d already had his monthly bang up the backside from Chris (if you pardon the expression) and thought he was being very cruel to him. Chris eventually untied him...
Chris - Aled, I was only messing with you
Aled - I just don’t like your tickling
Chris - all right. I don’t like your face...now moving on
(Aled and Rachel laugh)
COLIN AND EDITH - HANSEL AND GRETEL?:
Chris plugged the rest of the daytime line up on Radio 1 today, including Colin and Edith from 1pm. Chris was listening to them the other day and said Murray was very much leading Edith “through the air of radio waves”. I’ll translate for you - he wouldn’t shut up and let her speak. Because they are entering the forest (of daytime radio), Dave said Colin and Edith are very much like Hansel and Gretel. Chris was interested to find out why and tested Dave’s knowledge of the Hansel and Gretel tale. According to Dave they purposely set out in search of a gingerbread house, but left a trail of breadcrumbs as a back up in case they couldn’t find one and needed to leave the forest. Dave annoyed Rachel with his blatant sexism - saying that Gretel would be the one dropping the breadcrumbs cos Hansel would no doubt have been busy “reading the map” (or orienteering if you like).
Chris - Why would they be dropping breadcrumbs if they had a map??!!
As Chris and Rachel pressed him with more questions, Dave said he regretting using the Hansel and Gretel analogy in reference to Colin and Edith, cos he wasn’t sure it was wholly accurate. It was too late to back out now though. Dom and Juliette came in to read the news and sport and Jules wanted to know what had happened to the trail of breadcrumbs that they had left. Dom said the local council probably cleared them up, which amused Chris. Rachel found the full story on the t’interweb and Chris read parts of it out on either side of the 9:30 bulletin.
Chris (reading) - Hansel, who liked the taste of the roof, tore down a great piece of it, and Gretel pushed out the whole of one round window-pane, sat down, and..(laughs) enjoyed herself with it
(Dave and Jules in hysterics)
Chris (after 15 seconds of laughter) - The end
(starts Britney) Chris - That’s it, that’s where the story ends sadly. I’ll read that later in my own personal time. I think it’s a new version I haven’t read before
Dave - Has it got pictures?
Chris - I don’t know. I think it comes out on video soon though. It’s 9:37
(hits Britney vocal)
Other stuff on the show today included Chris talking briefly about the football last night (well done to the tinkerman) and him calling Rachel the “mayoress of grumpsville” after another one of her whiny moans. There was also nostalgic TV chat with Chris, Dave and Dom about El Dorado, Rod, Jane & Freddy, Steptoe and Son, Laurel and Hardy and Harold Lloyd. This link all stemmed from a story about Edith Bowman wearing some dungarees...half time had well and truly come early. Chris played the new Busted song Air Hostess in the first hour of the show. It goes without saying that it was crap, but Chris thought the lyrics were genius - “Air Hostess, I Like The Way You Dress”. Dave decided to make some of his own up...
Dave - Air Hostess you’re the real deal, I appreciate the fact you organise a vegetarian meal
Chris said the song had a nice idea behind it but said the fact of the matter is that most air hostesses are dogs. From his experience Chris said Virgin have the fittest trolley dollies (Dave agreed). Dave said that good looking air hostesses using to be a prerequisite, but said that now in this PC world we live in, all shapes and sizes have to be allowed (Rachel put her head in her hands at this point). Chris said that blokes in cabin crews are more feminine that the women nowadays, although he did say that he shockingly met a male steward on a flight recently...who wasn’t gay. Yesterday was “aloha” day on the show, as Dom tried to hunt down David Hasselhoff in his hotel room in Waikiki, Hawaii. The interview was rearranged for the early hours of this morning, but never took place in the end as Hasselhoff was out sightseeing with his family. Chris and Dom decided to make up for this fact by pre-recording a sketch before the show, with Chris pretending to be Hasselhoff on the line from Hawaii (cue the “oh, I wonder what that would sound like” set up). They did the ten second delay gag, which meant Chris was always answering the previous question asked by Dom (like a one player game of Viaduct in effect). I thought it was both cleverly done and very funny, but if the past three or four years of listening to Chris have taught me anything, it’s that the majority of the Radio 1 audience are thick - so therefore I’m thinking not many people would have got the gag.
ONE BIG WEEKEND TICKET WINNERS:>>>>
The five winners today on Radio 1’s One Big Weekend Dance Day ticket giveaway (and try saying that when you’ve had a few) were Amanda from Portadown, Richard from Sandbach, Kelly O’Donnell from Crumlin, Damien from Derry and Andy from Kingswinsford. Incidentally Judge Jules’ line today was “Rocking like a geologists convention”.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
LUCY originally from Essex but now a youth worker in Leeds 2
PAUL a miserable office clerk from West Thurrock 0
**After Paul’s less than enthusiastic introduction, Chris asked Aled what he was saying to the callers before they came on the air. He said nothing as it was Jocelyn who took the calls today. Jocelyn explained herself on the air (she sounded Irish).
Chris - Are you spanish my darlin?
Paul - I’m not no
Chris - No not you!!!
(Everyone laughs)
Dave - As if he’d call you “my darlin” anyway
Chris and Dave made a point of calling Paul both “love” and “darling” for the remainder of the game, which he sadly lost 2-0...such a shame**
Daves Tedious Link
Stereophonics A Thousand Trees - A thousand trees is probably the amount it would take to make up a small forest or medium sized wood - Wood first name Ronnie is a member of The Rolling Stones - Rolling Stones tend not to gather any moss - Moss first name Kate is a British supermodel who is apparently now dating that fella who starred in Our Friends in the North, alongside Christopher Eccleston who is now the new Doctor Who - Doctor Who was the programme that first introduced the phenomenon of The Darlek - Darlek rhymes with garlic - Garlic comes in the form of cloves - If you remove the “l” from cloves you’re left simply with coves, which is the plural of the word cove, a small round sheltered bay or inlet often occupied by pirates as it traditionally provided good protection - Protection was the title of a 1995 track by Massive Attack, which charted at number 14 - Number 14 is the shirt number worn by Mr Thierry Henry - Thierry Henry plays for Arsenal, who were knocked out of The Champions League last night by Chelsea - and I would imagine Chelsea were so pleased with this result that they went back to the dressing room and were having such a good time that they had a big “jump around” to celebrate - Which links us to House Of Pain and Jump Around
RADIO 1 TOMORROW MORNING AT 8:15:>>>>
Make sure you <s>aren’t</s> are tuned in cos Chris has the world exclusive first play of Insania by his great mate Peter Andre - struth.
Today is a momentous day in the life of Dave Vitty. That’s because the pilot of his first ever TV show is filmed later, at the old RI:SE studios in London (it’s jinxed straight away then). Chris asked him how he was feeling on the morning of the big day...
Dave - I feel like an expectant father just about to give birth to a whole new quiz show format
Chris interviewed him on the air about Reverse-a-Word today, leaving little gaps after his answers in case Newsbeat wanted to put them into a package and use them on the 12:45 edition. Dave said he thought up the idea of Reverse-a-Word based on the fact that “everybody knows it’s very difficult to spell words backwards” (genius). Dave said that all the Reverse-a-Word team, crew, directors, lighting people, wardrobe staff and cast are looking forward to the day immensely. Chris noted that appearing on the seven minute Challenge TV show will be Scott Mills (the host), Rachel and Aled (team captains), Jules and Dom (team contestants) and Dave himself (as presenter of the Reverse-a-Word trophy). In other words, everyone but Chris will be on the telly. Dave said that this was down to the fact that DVE (Dave Vitty Entertainment) couldn’t afford the fee that Mr Moyles was demanding. The show is being incredibly cheaply made in fact, so much so that Dave received some slightly alarming news from Will yesterday. Will has found out that there is not enough money available to get into the editing suites and edit the show, so it has to be recorded “as live” with no mistakes today. As anyone who heard the on air rehearsal yesterday will testify, that’s not great news. The team have to be in the studio by about 11 o’clock this morning. Dave said he might pick up some tinnies on the way there,although just to calm his nerves of course. The team are all going out for celebratory drinks after the filming, although Rachel wasn’t too sure whether to go or not as she was meant to be going to the gym this afternoon. The seven minute Reverse-a-Word pilot will go out on Challenge TV at 9:50pm on Tuesday 13th April (it clashes with the Leeds - Everton game unfortunately). Chris wanted to know when the repeats were to be shown and quite obviously visited this place to find out. He more or less read out word-for-word the item that I posted in the main news section, including my line at the bottom about Challenge being available on NTL and Telewest Broadand (a site mention would have been nice Chris...hint hint). Chris didn’t mention his two Sony nominations either today in case you’re wondering. Dave is getting paid diddly squat by Princess Productions and Challenge for Reverse-a-word, so therefore gets no repeat fee (it’s meant to be 70% of the original sum apparently). Dave said the show was his “intellectual property” after all, so therefore said he needed to speak to his legal department about the matter. Oh and if you’re that lazy that you can’t be arsed to check the news section of the site, the Reverse-a-Word repeats are at 4:50pm and 9:50pm on Wednesday 14th April. I’ll have news on how the days filming went on this page tomorrow.
(Scott Mills doing his best impression of Dale Winton)
Sticking with the subject of crappy satellite channels, Chris received an e-mail from Nigel May of AVAGO TV (Sky channel 181) yesterday. You might remember that this is the guy that Chris was gay flirting with on the afternoon show a few months back. Nigel was getting in touch to let Chris know he will be presenting his last show (AVAGO balls) on AVAGO at 10pm this Saturday. Dave said that was very sad news, although Dom said it was just sad full stop. Chris said Dom wasn’t in a position to talk as he admitted the other day that he’s a big fan of virtual horse racing. Chris said Aled was sadder than both of them put together though as he has a personal account on Bid-up.tv and more or less knows the full presenter line up. There was actually quite a lot of Aled bashing going on in the show today, particularly after Buzz Off and during half time. Buzz Off was from that famous welsh band The Beastie Boyos - their number 11 1987 hit (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party). Aled buzzed first on 1:56, saying that he wasn’t in the mood for such a racket at 20 past 7 in the morning. The way Aled pronounced “racket” brought on Welsh impressions from Chris and Dave, that slowly but surely turned into Mexican and Avid Merrion-esque voices. Rachel was second to buzz in on 2:58 and Dave followed right at the end of the song on 3:23. During half time, it was brought to Chris’s attention that Aled was wearing a rainbow elasticated belt...around his chest. He said he was wearing it there cos he thought it was funny. Chris sensed the chance to have some fun at Aled’s expense and tied his hands together behind his back with the belt. He then booted him up the arse and tickled him while Aled squealed, squirmed and screamed...
Aled (shouting off mic) - Stop it Chris!!! Ouch!!
(Chris laughs)
Dave (into the mic) - You’re listening to Radio 1, it’s Wednesday the 7th of April with the time approaching 12 minutes past 9
Aled said he’d already had his monthly bang up the backside from Chris (if you pardon the expression) and thought he was being very cruel to him. Chris eventually untied him...
Chris - Aled, I was only messing with you
Aled - I just don’t like your tickling
Chris - all right. I don’t like your face...now moving on
(Aled and Rachel laugh)
COLIN AND EDITH - HANSEL AND GRETEL?:
Chris plugged the rest of the daytime line up on Radio 1 today, including Colin and Edith from 1pm. Chris was listening to them the other day and said Murray was very much leading Edith “through the air of radio waves”. I’ll translate for you - he wouldn’t shut up and let her speak. Because they are entering the forest (of daytime radio), Dave said Colin and Edith are very much like Hansel and Gretel. Chris was interested to find out why and tested Dave’s knowledge of the Hansel and Gretel tale. According to Dave they purposely set out in search of a gingerbread house, but left a trail of breadcrumbs as a back up in case they couldn’t find one and needed to leave the forest. Dave annoyed Rachel with his blatant sexism - saying that Gretel would be the one dropping the breadcrumbs cos Hansel would no doubt have been busy “reading the map” (or orienteering if you like).
Chris - Why would they be dropping breadcrumbs if they had a map??!!
As Chris and Rachel pressed him with more questions, Dave said he regretting using the Hansel and Gretel analogy in reference to Colin and Edith, cos he wasn’t sure it was wholly accurate. It was too late to back out now though. Dom and Juliette came in to read the news and sport and Jules wanted to know what had happened to the trail of breadcrumbs that they had left. Dom said the local council probably cleared them up, which amused Chris. Rachel found the full story on the t’interweb and Chris read parts of it out on either side of the 9:30 bulletin.
Chris (reading) - Hansel, who liked the taste of the roof, tore down a great piece of it, and Gretel pushed out the whole of one round window-pane, sat down, and..(laughs) enjoyed herself with it
(Dave and Jules in hysterics)
Chris (after 15 seconds of laughter) - The end
(starts Britney) Chris - That’s it, that’s where the story ends sadly. I’ll read that later in my own personal time. I think it’s a new version I haven’t read before
Dave - Has it got pictures?
Chris - I don’t know. I think it comes out on video soon though. It’s 9:37
(hits Britney vocal)
Other stuff on the show today included Chris talking briefly about the football last night (well done to the tinkerman) and him calling Rachel the “mayoress of grumpsville” after another one of her whiny moans. There was also nostalgic TV chat with Chris, Dave and Dom about El Dorado, Rod, Jane & Freddy, Steptoe and Son, Laurel and Hardy and Harold Lloyd. This link all stemmed from a story about Edith Bowman wearing some dungarees...half time had well and truly come early. Chris played the new Busted song Air Hostess in the first hour of the show. It goes without saying that it was crap, but Chris thought the lyrics were genius - “Air Hostess, I Like The Way You Dress”. Dave decided to make some of his own up...
Dave - Air Hostess you’re the real deal, I appreciate the fact you organise a vegetarian meal
Chris said the song had a nice idea behind it but said the fact of the matter is that most air hostesses are dogs. From his experience Chris said Virgin have the fittest trolley dollies (Dave agreed). Dave said that good looking air hostesses using to be a prerequisite, but said that now in this PC world we live in, all shapes and sizes have to be allowed (Rachel put her head in her hands at this point). Chris said that blokes in cabin crews are more feminine that the women nowadays, although he did say that he shockingly met a male steward on a flight recently...who wasn’t gay. Yesterday was “aloha” day on the show, as Dom tried to hunt down David Hasselhoff in his hotel room in Waikiki, Hawaii. The interview was rearranged for the early hours of this morning, but never took place in the end as Hasselhoff was out sightseeing with his family. Chris and Dom decided to make up for this fact by pre-recording a sketch before the show, with Chris pretending to be Hasselhoff on the line from Hawaii (cue the “oh, I wonder what that would sound like” set up). They did the ten second delay gag, which meant Chris was always answering the previous question asked by Dom (like a one player game of Viaduct in effect). I thought it was both cleverly done and very funny, but if the past three or four years of listening to Chris have taught me anything, it’s that the majority of the Radio 1 audience are thick - so therefore I’m thinking not many people would have got the gag.
ONE BIG WEEKEND TICKET WINNERS:>>>>
The five winners today on Radio 1’s One Big Weekend Dance Day ticket giveaway (and try saying that when you’ve had a few) were Amanda from Portadown, Richard from Sandbach, Kelly O’Donnell from Crumlin, Damien from Derry and Andy from Kingswinsford. Incidentally Judge Jules’ line today was “Rocking like a geologists convention”.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
LUCY originally from Essex but now a youth worker in Leeds 2
PAUL a miserable office clerk from West Thurrock 0
**After Paul’s less than enthusiastic introduction, Chris asked Aled what he was saying to the callers before they came on the air. He said nothing as it was Jocelyn who took the calls today. Jocelyn explained herself on the air (she sounded Irish).
Chris - Are you spanish my darlin?
Paul - I’m not no
Chris - No not you!!!
(Everyone laughs)
Dave - As if he’d call you “my darlin” anyway
Chris and Dave made a point of calling Paul both “love” and “darling” for the remainder of the game, which he sadly lost 2-0...such a shame**
Daves Tedious Link
Stereophonics A Thousand Trees - A thousand trees is probably the amount it would take to make up a small forest or medium sized wood - Wood first name Ronnie is a member of The Rolling Stones - Rolling Stones tend not to gather any moss - Moss first name Kate is a British supermodel who is apparently now dating that fella who starred in Our Friends in the North, alongside Christopher Eccleston who is now the new Doctor Who - Doctor Who was the programme that first introduced the phenomenon of The Darlek - Darlek rhymes with garlic - Garlic comes in the form of cloves - If you remove the “l” from cloves you’re left simply with coves, which is the plural of the word cove, a small round sheltered bay or inlet often occupied by pirates as it traditionally provided good protection - Protection was the title of a 1995 track by Massive Attack, which charted at number 14 - Number 14 is the shirt number worn by Mr Thierry Henry - Thierry Henry plays for Arsenal, who were knocked out of The Champions League last night by Chelsea - and I would imagine Chelsea were so pleased with this result that they went back to the dressing room and were having such a good time that they had a big “jump around” to celebrate - Which links us to House Of Pain and Jump Around
RADIO 1 TOMORROW MORNING AT 8:15:>>>>
Make sure you <s>aren’t</s> are tuned in cos Chris has the world exclusive first play of Insania by his great mate Peter Andre - struth.
