chrismoyles.net
- Thu Apr 08, 2004 10:51 am
#241900
1. Sugababes - In The Middle 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. D12 - My Band, 3. The Thrills - Santa Cruz (You’re Not That Far), 4. Basement Jaxx feat JC Chasez - Plug It In, 5. BUZZ OFF - Transglobal Underground - Temple Head, 6. Outkast - Hey Ya 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. The Rasmus - In The Shadows, 8. Destiny’s Child - Bootylicious, 9. McFly - 5 Colours In Her Hair, 10. Oasis - D’You Know What I Mean? 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Britney Spears - Toxic, 12. Sean Paul - Like Glue, 13. Peter Andre - Insania 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. Angel City feat Lara McAllen - Love Me Right, 15. Usher feat Ludacris - Yeah, 16. No Doubt - It’s My Life, 17. Franz Ferdinand - Matinée, 18. Macy Gray - I Try (Tedious Link), 19. Pink - Last To Know, 20. The Streets - Fit But You Know It, 21. The loveGods - Sadie Mercedes (Jo Whiley Live Lounge Version), 22. N*E*R*D - She Wants To Move 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. Robbie Williams - Sexed Up, 24. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling, 25. Kelis - Milkshake
I don’t want to be accused of arse licking the show or anything, but in my opinion it is sounding as good as it ever has at the moment. It was another fantastic show today, although having said that it did begin with a bit of a ropey start. Chris said the show is a bit like the car on a cold morning - it needs to warm up first before it gets properly going. The bad start was mainly caused by jingle trouble out of the 7:00 news bulletin, while in the background Dominic read out random facts about Mumps Bridge in Oldham.
Chris - Are we actually on? Have we started already?
Rachel (not sounding happy) - Yes
Chris - Oooh, the voice of doom
(plays jingle as Rache laughs)
Rachel wouldn’t give away too much info, but said she ended up last night at a very, very, very exclusive drinks party in London...with D12. She said she didn’t know how it happened and said it was one of the most surreal moments of her life. At one point in the evening she actually turned around and bumped into one of the members of D12, nearly covering him with her white wine in the process. A moment later she noticed all of them walk right past her, including Eminem (who had his glasses and bandana on). Dave said she must have been totally jarred by this point, as she had been drinking with the team post Reverse-a-Word filming earlier in the day. Rache said she drank water in between so wasn’t that trolleyed at the end of the night. D12 are Westwood’s guests tomorrow night from 9 on The Radio 1 Rap Show and they will be performing their brilliant new single My Band on TOTP the same night. Chris had a rant about the previously stated Reverse-a-Word drinks yesterday, saying he was stung by the round from hell early on in the afternoon. He paid for drinks for himself, Aled, Rache, Dave, Dom, Claire, Will, Scott Mills, Exec Joe, one member of the TV production crew, two or three audience members and the two contestants on the show (Karl and Justin) plus a drink for one of their girlfriends. In total the round set Moyles back a whopping 43 quid. Dave said he obviously got off lightly in that case, as he paid only £20 for his round. I did say that I would have all the tales from the Reverse-a-Word filming session in today’s show review, but to be honest there’s none to tell. Chris hardly mentioned it at all - seemingly the team are keeping everything under wraps until the show’s big Challenge TV debut on Tuesday night. Today’s Buzz Off selection was again from a CD nicked by Chris at one of his old radio stations. This time it was one he took from the music library at Radio Aire (in Leeds) back in 1991. Chris had chosen it for Buzz Off, thinking today was Friday for some reason. Rache reminded him that it is for most people, as tomorrow it’s Good Friday and the beginning of the Big Easter Bank Holiday Weekend. Chris told her not to even get him started on that, as in the eyes of the BBC tomorrow is not a Bank Holiday and the team WILL be on the air as per usual. On Easter Monday it’s a different story however, as Chris gets his first weekday off breakfast since the show began on January 5th. (MC Stat Attack - that will put an end to a sequence of 70 consecutive weekdays on the air). The show is still on from Tuesday - Friday next week, although I’m abroad all week so won’t get to hear it. Therefore all reviews that appear here next week will be by guest reviewers from the messageboard, who have kindly offered to cover for me (thanks again to those people). More on that will appear here over the weekend. Back to Buzz Off and Chris chose a song never released as a UK single this morning, but still a top quality record nonetheless. It was Temple Head from Transglobal Underground, which he doubted any of the team would have ever heard before. Both Dave and Aled had heard it, despite not knowing it’s title. Aled said he used to play it at the very first radio station he was at and said he loved it. Dave did too and both didn’t buzz in until the song had finished, although the listeners buzzed in on 2 minutes 41 and Rachel on 2:45.
Dave - I thought that was fantastic. It’s not often I compliment you on your music but that was the best Buzz Off track you’ve ever done
I wouldn’t go that far personally as far better ones come to mind - No Doubt (Just A Girl), De La Soul, Divine Comedy, Primal Scream, NWA, One Giant Leap, The Beatles (Eleanor Rigby) and of course Rock ’n’ Roll Star by Oasis. At 7:55 last Thursday Chris played Country House by Blur - and at exactly 7:55 this Thursday he played (in full) Oasis and D’You Know What I Mean? (it can’t be a coincidence). Not one of Oasis’s best songs but still a nice surprise to hear it on the show, especially as it had been preceded by McFly and 5 Colours In Her Hair...nuff said.
ONE BIG WEEKEND TICKET WINNERS:>>>>
There was another hilarious line played into the show today as a OBW cue to call, again coming from Radio 1’s top stand up comic Judge Jules. It was “More top sets than Andre Agassi”, which Chris said he would have changed to “More top sets than a page 3 girl convention”. As usual, callers rang in for tickets early when Chris played the clip as an example. Chris took a call off the air, while Aled *head of phones* Jones threw a wobbler and moaned at all those people complaining no-one was answering. He said he’d only answer at the right time, not beforehand. The five eventual ticket winners were James from Belfast, Dominic and John from Derry, Phil from Dunstable and Natalie from Ballinamallard. Chris and Dave didn’t know where Ballinamallard was so Dave tried to view an online street map to find out. He typed STR into Google for street, only to see Stringfellows.com immediately appear as one of the top results. He said it was also in Chris’s favourites, which he of course rubbished. Chris asked Aled if he was going to The Dance Day at One Big Weekend in Derry. He said he was - with a couple of his mates from Northern Ireland who had got tickets. However, tickets don’t go on sale until this Saturday so Aled had blatantly blagged them free from Radio 1, which Chris said was bang out of order. Aled realised that his error had been exposed by Chris...
Aled (off mic) - Oh bum
Chris - Oh bum did you just say? No, I think you should just queue up
(Aled and Dave laugh)
Aled said he’d been out to Northern Ireland a couple of times over the years with Radio 1. Once was to a roadshow in Portrush with Zoe Ball and the other time was to a Dave Pearce Dance Party in Portrush. Rachel soon got bored with this chat and interrupted Chris and Aled to open the lines for Carpark Catchphrase. Chris made her read out the prizes on offer and introduce the next record from Pink. Rachel hit the vocal perfectly - Chris said something Dave Pearce has been trying to do for years.
PETER ANDRE LIVE ON THE PHONE/EXCLUSIVE FIRST PLAY OF INSANIA:
(Peter and Chris back in February)
Yep, unfortunately Peter Andre was back on the show today, albeit live down a phone line from his London hotel. Peter was sounding tired and admitted he’s not much of a morning person. He said he’d just had his Espresso though so had woken up a bit. Chris asked him how he had been keeping.
Peter - I’m buzzing, how are you going? How’s everyone going, all right?
Chris - Yeah we’re all right
Dave (laughing) - Wicked thank you
Peter said he’s been in the studio more or less non stop for the last couple of weeks, working on stuff for his new album. He also hasn’t had a chance to meet up for a drink with Chris either, but Chris blamed that on Peter changing mobile numbers. Chris said they could go down the boozer later for a drink if he wanted. Chris said not the one near his brothers though as sure enough they would embrace Peter...but in a head lock with their fists. Predictably there was a bit of arse kissing going on, which Chris said he knew he’d get accused of. A bit of a poor Tedious Link connection here but Chris apparently flashed his arse at Jo Whiley after ten o’clock this morning. No particular reason I think but Jo said it certainly wasn’t a pleasant sight. One of the songs on Peter’s new album will of course be Insania, of which Chris had a world exclusive first play just before 8:30. Both Dave and Chris genuinely seemed to like it and said it was a very good pop song. I wouldn’t go that far but I have to admit I was expecting far worse. A selection of texts came in along similar lines - saying that they really hate cheesy pop...but that song wasn’t bad. Chris got the usual batch of random texts as well, including one from Daz in Stoke that simply read “Yeah metal Chris. Alice Cooper dude, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Rage Against The Machine etc. Cheers”.
ALED JONES ON ALED JONES:>>>>
Chris invited Aled into the studio at 7:45, then proceeded to interview him in his Parky voice (which incidentally is one of his better impressions). He asked him how life at Radio 1 was treating him and how it was treating him in general. After Aled’s responses, the line of questioning then turned to his namesake Aled Jones, famous Snowman singer of the 80’s and now I think a presenter on Classic FM. (Excuse me if this gets a bit confusing). (BB) Aled said they had never met or seen each other, although they did share points once at The Hilton Hotel in Cardiff. He also said he had heard t’other Aled was a nice guy, but said he used to get ribbed about having the same name as him all the way through his school life. Chris had a surprise for him, as the other day Aled (the singer) was at some book awards in London, where Newsbeat had a reporter. When they got the chance to talk to him, they asked him about the other Aled Jones. He said he was sick of having people come up to him asking if he was “the Aled Jones” who worked on The Chris Moyles Show, although he said that that was no bad thing as in his opinion Chris is the best thing on the radio...bar Terry Wogan (and presumably himself). He also said he wasn’t South Waleian...”like the other pretender”. (BB) Aled is actually from mid Wales, but was very pleased with these comments nonetheless. Chris said Aled has seen the other Aled in real life before though - as apparently Chris and the crew completely blanked him once at Gatwick.
Chris’s sport biatch Juliette Ferrington wasn’t feeling too clever this morning. She said she was tired, felt achy and had caught the flu.
Chris - So you’ve come into work to breathe it all over us
Jules - Yes. I like to share it with you
Chris - Well I have heard that and that’s why most of the boys like you in the building
(plays news stab)
Chris (laughs) - ...or like you in the car park or wherever they can have...
Jules (interrupting) - 7:01
Chris - Yeah all right
Juliette abandoned her 9:30 sports bulletin half way through, due to everyone in the studio trying to make her laugh and Chris dropping in “aloha” clips while she was talking. Dom then just about managed to finish off the weather, before he burst into laughter. Trouble causers Dave and Chris told Dom and Jules they were childish, and said they needed to buck their ideas up. Chris asked what Dom’s wife Nicola would be thinking of his immature behaviour (she is 30 today BTW). Rachel responded by shaking her head and saying that they were all so unprofessional. However, a couple of hours earlier it was her who was being the unprofessional one - dropping a computer mouse in the middle of Juliette’s sport bulletin. Jules pointed the finger at Chris, which Dom called “very accusatory”. Chris did a funny impression of Jules’ little mid bulletin strop after One Road Travel. Today was “four number B road Thursday” on One Road Travel (as per usual). Dom was nodding at Dave thinking he might appreciate that fact, but while in the process he somehow managed to accidentally headbutt his microphone. There was also a story in Dom’s news this morning about the sacking of two Aberdeen welders, who had been fired after rowing over what breakfast show they should be listening to - Terry Wogan or Chris Moyles. You can read the story in full here. After 9 Chris was calmly reading Victoria Newton’s Bizarre column in The Sun, when he came across a story revealing the singers of the Official England song for this summers Euro 2004 Championships in Portugal. Chris said he wasn’t encouraging this amongst the listeners, but said he personally would be going to protest outside FA Headquarters with a banner reading “Are you Insane?” (or Insania for a laugh). The reason for his protest - the singers of the Official England Euro 2004 song are going to be...Blazin Squad. You could almost hear the laughter from the whole of Wales, Scotland and Ireland as Chris read this piece of information out. Chris wanted to know who at the FA had been personally responsible for approving this, saying it was the most ludicrous decision he’d ever seen in his life.
Dave - What is ludicrous is the fact that there’s more people in Blazin Squad than there is in Sven’s squad for Portugal
(Everyone laughs)
Ten minutes later, Dom returned to the studio with some breaking Blazin Squad news. He said he’d just put the phone down on the FA (not like that though - Chris did a very funny impression of him dialling them up then hanging up). The important news from Dom was that no decision has yet been made on who will sing the song, so Blazin Squad are not actually confirmed. Perhaps they are still holding out for some studio time with Triple 8 or McFly then (MC Dull Fact Attack - apparently one of the guys from McFly used to go to my college...fascinating).
ANOTHER FUNNY ROUND OF CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
GARETH a dump truck driver from Leicester 2
JEZ a forklift truck driver from Enniskillen 0
**Chris (to Gareth) - So are you driving your dump truck now?
Gareth - I’m sitting in it, not driving it
Chris (sounding worried) - I beg your pardon, what?
Gareth - I’m SITTING in it, not driving it
Chris - Good god I misheard you there for a second
Dave - Good morning Ofcom
(Chris laughs)**
Daves Tedious Link
House Of Pain Jump Around - a house of pain shouldn’t be mistaken for a house in Spain, which is what a mate of ours has near Alicante - Alicante has it’s own airport and in that respect shares something in common with Chicago - Chicago were a band, fronted by the late Peter Cetera - If you add the letters “e” and “t” to the front of Cetera you get etcetera, which is normally abbreviated using the letters “etc” - Etc rhymes with BCG, which is a type of inoculation against tuberculosis - Tuberculosis, if not treated properly, can be a killer - Killer was a 1990 hit for Adamski, but featured the vocal talents of Seal - Seals have a large percentage of body fat to insulate them against the cold - The Cold War had nothing to do with seals and was actually a conflict of suspicion between the West and the East, who are separated by The Iron Curtain - Curtains run on rails, as do trains - Trains employ conductors, as do orchestras - Orchestra stalls is a slang term for testicles - Testicles are traditionally unique to men - and men tend to be physically bigger than women in most instances, with the only notable exception being Macy Gray - Which links us to Macy Gray and I Try
I don’t want to be accused of arse licking the show or anything, but in my opinion it is sounding as good as it ever has at the moment. It was another fantastic show today, although having said that it did begin with a bit of a ropey start. Chris said the show is a bit like the car on a cold morning - it needs to warm up first before it gets properly going. The bad start was mainly caused by jingle trouble out of the 7:00 news bulletin, while in the background Dominic read out random facts about Mumps Bridge in Oldham.
Chris - Are we actually on? Have we started already?
Rachel (not sounding happy) - Yes
Chris - Oooh, the voice of doom
(plays jingle as Rache laughs)
Rachel wouldn’t give away too much info, but said she ended up last night at a very, very, very exclusive drinks party in London...with D12. She said she didn’t know how it happened and said it was one of the most surreal moments of her life. At one point in the evening she actually turned around and bumped into one of the members of D12, nearly covering him with her white wine in the process. A moment later she noticed all of them walk right past her, including Eminem (who had his glasses and bandana on). Dave said she must have been totally jarred by this point, as she had been drinking with the team post Reverse-a-Word filming earlier in the day. Rache said she drank water in between so wasn’t that trolleyed at the end of the night. D12 are Westwood’s guests tomorrow night from 9 on The Radio 1 Rap Show and they will be performing their brilliant new single My Band on TOTP the same night. Chris had a rant about the previously stated Reverse-a-Word drinks yesterday, saying he was stung by the round from hell early on in the afternoon. He paid for drinks for himself, Aled, Rache, Dave, Dom, Claire, Will, Scott Mills, Exec Joe, one member of the TV production crew, two or three audience members and the two contestants on the show (Karl and Justin) plus a drink for one of their girlfriends. In total the round set Moyles back a whopping 43 quid. Dave said he obviously got off lightly in that case, as he paid only £20 for his round. I did say that I would have all the tales from the Reverse-a-Word filming session in today’s show review, but to be honest there’s none to tell. Chris hardly mentioned it at all - seemingly the team are keeping everything under wraps until the show’s big Challenge TV debut on Tuesday night. Today’s Buzz Off selection was again from a CD nicked by Chris at one of his old radio stations. This time it was one he took from the music library at Radio Aire (in Leeds) back in 1991. Chris had chosen it for Buzz Off, thinking today was Friday for some reason. Rache reminded him that it is for most people, as tomorrow it’s Good Friday and the beginning of the Big Easter Bank Holiday Weekend. Chris told her not to even get him started on that, as in the eyes of the BBC tomorrow is not a Bank Holiday and the team WILL be on the air as per usual. On Easter Monday it’s a different story however, as Chris gets his first weekday off breakfast since the show began on January 5th. (MC Stat Attack - that will put an end to a sequence of 70 consecutive weekdays on the air). The show is still on from Tuesday - Friday next week, although I’m abroad all week so won’t get to hear it. Therefore all reviews that appear here next week will be by guest reviewers from the messageboard, who have kindly offered to cover for me (thanks again to those people). More on that will appear here over the weekend. Back to Buzz Off and Chris chose a song never released as a UK single this morning, but still a top quality record nonetheless. It was Temple Head from Transglobal Underground, which he doubted any of the team would have ever heard before. Both Dave and Aled had heard it, despite not knowing it’s title. Aled said he used to play it at the very first radio station he was at and said he loved it. Dave did too and both didn’t buzz in until the song had finished, although the listeners buzzed in on 2 minutes 41 and Rachel on 2:45.
Dave - I thought that was fantastic. It’s not often I compliment you on your music but that was the best Buzz Off track you’ve ever done
I wouldn’t go that far personally as far better ones come to mind - No Doubt (Just A Girl), De La Soul, Divine Comedy, Primal Scream, NWA, One Giant Leap, The Beatles (Eleanor Rigby) and of course Rock ’n’ Roll Star by Oasis. At 7:55 last Thursday Chris played Country House by Blur - and at exactly 7:55 this Thursday he played (in full) Oasis and D’You Know What I Mean? (it can’t be a coincidence). Not one of Oasis’s best songs but still a nice surprise to hear it on the show, especially as it had been preceded by McFly and 5 Colours In Her Hair...nuff said.
ONE BIG WEEKEND TICKET WINNERS:>>>>
There was another hilarious line played into the show today as a OBW cue to call, again coming from Radio 1’s top stand up comic Judge Jules. It was “More top sets than Andre Agassi”, which Chris said he would have changed to “More top sets than a page 3 girl convention”. As usual, callers rang in for tickets early when Chris played the clip as an example. Chris took a call off the air, while Aled *head of phones* Jones threw a wobbler and moaned at all those people complaining no-one was answering. He said he’d only answer at the right time, not beforehand. The five eventual ticket winners were James from Belfast, Dominic and John from Derry, Phil from Dunstable and Natalie from Ballinamallard. Chris and Dave didn’t know where Ballinamallard was so Dave tried to view an online street map to find out. He typed STR into Google for street, only to see Stringfellows.com immediately appear as one of the top results. He said it was also in Chris’s favourites, which he of course rubbished. Chris asked Aled if he was going to The Dance Day at One Big Weekend in Derry. He said he was - with a couple of his mates from Northern Ireland who had got tickets. However, tickets don’t go on sale until this Saturday so Aled had blatantly blagged them free from Radio 1, which Chris said was bang out of order. Aled realised that his error had been exposed by Chris...
Aled (off mic) - Oh bum
Chris - Oh bum did you just say? No, I think you should just queue up
(Aled and Dave laugh)
Aled said he’d been out to Northern Ireland a couple of times over the years with Radio 1. Once was to a roadshow in Portrush with Zoe Ball and the other time was to a Dave Pearce Dance Party in Portrush. Rachel soon got bored with this chat and interrupted Chris and Aled to open the lines for Carpark Catchphrase. Chris made her read out the prizes on offer and introduce the next record from Pink. Rachel hit the vocal perfectly - Chris said something Dave Pearce has been trying to do for years.
PETER ANDRE LIVE ON THE PHONE/EXCLUSIVE FIRST PLAY OF INSANIA:
(Peter and Chris back in February)
Yep, unfortunately Peter Andre was back on the show today, albeit live down a phone line from his London hotel. Peter was sounding tired and admitted he’s not much of a morning person. He said he’d just had his Espresso though so had woken up a bit. Chris asked him how he had been keeping.
Peter - I’m buzzing, how are you going? How’s everyone going, all right?
Chris - Yeah we’re all right
Dave (laughing) - Wicked thank you
Peter said he’s been in the studio more or less non stop for the last couple of weeks, working on stuff for his new album. He also hasn’t had a chance to meet up for a drink with Chris either, but Chris blamed that on Peter changing mobile numbers. Chris said they could go down the boozer later for a drink if he wanted. Chris said not the one near his brothers though as sure enough they would embrace Peter...but in a head lock with their fists. Predictably there was a bit of arse kissing going on, which Chris said he knew he’d get accused of. A bit of a poor Tedious Link connection here but Chris apparently flashed his arse at Jo Whiley after ten o’clock this morning. No particular reason I think but Jo said it certainly wasn’t a pleasant sight. One of the songs on Peter’s new album will of course be Insania, of which Chris had a world exclusive first play just before 8:30. Both Dave and Chris genuinely seemed to like it and said it was a very good pop song. I wouldn’t go that far but I have to admit I was expecting far worse. A selection of texts came in along similar lines - saying that they really hate cheesy pop...but that song wasn’t bad. Chris got the usual batch of random texts as well, including one from Daz in Stoke that simply read “Yeah metal Chris. Alice Cooper dude, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Rage Against The Machine etc. Cheers”.
ALED JONES ON ALED JONES:>>>>
Chris invited Aled into the studio at 7:45, then proceeded to interview him in his Parky voice (which incidentally is one of his better impressions). He asked him how life at Radio 1 was treating him and how it was treating him in general. After Aled’s responses, the line of questioning then turned to his namesake Aled Jones, famous Snowman singer of the 80’s and now I think a presenter on Classic FM. (Excuse me if this gets a bit confusing). (BB) Aled said they had never met or seen each other, although they did share points once at The Hilton Hotel in Cardiff. He also said he had heard t’other Aled was a nice guy, but said he used to get ribbed about having the same name as him all the way through his school life. Chris had a surprise for him, as the other day Aled (the singer) was at some book awards in London, where Newsbeat had a reporter. When they got the chance to talk to him, they asked him about the other Aled Jones. He said he was sick of having people come up to him asking if he was “the Aled Jones” who worked on The Chris Moyles Show, although he said that that was no bad thing as in his opinion Chris is the best thing on the radio...bar Terry Wogan (and presumably himself). He also said he wasn’t South Waleian...”like the other pretender”. (BB) Aled is actually from mid Wales, but was very pleased with these comments nonetheless. Chris said Aled has seen the other Aled in real life before though - as apparently Chris and the crew completely blanked him once at Gatwick.
Chris’s sport biatch Juliette Ferrington wasn’t feeling too clever this morning. She said she was tired, felt achy and had caught the flu.
Chris - So you’ve come into work to breathe it all over us
Jules - Yes. I like to share it with you
Chris - Well I have heard that and that’s why most of the boys like you in the building
(plays news stab)
Chris (laughs) - ...or like you in the car park or wherever they can have...
Jules (interrupting) - 7:01
Chris - Yeah all right
Juliette abandoned her 9:30 sports bulletin half way through, due to everyone in the studio trying to make her laugh and Chris dropping in “aloha” clips while she was talking. Dom then just about managed to finish off the weather, before he burst into laughter. Trouble causers Dave and Chris told Dom and Jules they were childish, and said they needed to buck their ideas up. Chris asked what Dom’s wife Nicola would be thinking of his immature behaviour (she is 30 today BTW). Rachel responded by shaking her head and saying that they were all so unprofessional. However, a couple of hours earlier it was her who was being the unprofessional one - dropping a computer mouse in the middle of Juliette’s sport bulletin. Jules pointed the finger at Chris, which Dom called “very accusatory”. Chris did a funny impression of Jules’ little mid bulletin strop after One Road Travel. Today was “four number B road Thursday” on One Road Travel (as per usual). Dom was nodding at Dave thinking he might appreciate that fact, but while in the process he somehow managed to accidentally headbutt his microphone. There was also a story in Dom’s news this morning about the sacking of two Aberdeen welders, who had been fired after rowing over what breakfast show they should be listening to - Terry Wogan or Chris Moyles. You can read the story in full here. After 9 Chris was calmly reading Victoria Newton’s Bizarre column in The Sun, when he came across a story revealing the singers of the Official England song for this summers Euro 2004 Championships in Portugal. Chris said he wasn’t encouraging this amongst the listeners, but said he personally would be going to protest outside FA Headquarters with a banner reading “Are you Insane?” (or Insania for a laugh). The reason for his protest - the singers of the Official England Euro 2004 song are going to be...Blazin Squad. You could almost hear the laughter from the whole of Wales, Scotland and Ireland as Chris read this piece of information out. Chris wanted to know who at the FA had been personally responsible for approving this, saying it was the most ludicrous decision he’d ever seen in his life.
Dave - What is ludicrous is the fact that there’s more people in Blazin Squad than there is in Sven’s squad for Portugal
(Everyone laughs)
Ten minutes later, Dom returned to the studio with some breaking Blazin Squad news. He said he’d just put the phone down on the FA (not like that though - Chris did a very funny impression of him dialling them up then hanging up). The important news from Dom was that no decision has yet been made on who will sing the song, so Blazin Squad are not actually confirmed. Perhaps they are still holding out for some studio time with Triple 8 or McFly then (MC Dull Fact Attack - apparently one of the guys from McFly used to go to my college...fascinating).
ANOTHER FUNNY ROUND OF CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
GARETH a dump truck driver from Leicester 2
JEZ a forklift truck driver from Enniskillen 0
**Chris (to Gareth) - So are you driving your dump truck now?
Gareth - I’m sitting in it, not driving it
Chris (sounding worried) - I beg your pardon, what?
Gareth - I’m SITTING in it, not driving it
Chris - Good god I misheard you there for a second
Dave - Good morning Ofcom
(Chris laughs)**
Daves Tedious Link
House Of Pain Jump Around - a house of pain shouldn’t be mistaken for a house in Spain, which is what a mate of ours has near Alicante - Alicante has it’s own airport and in that respect shares something in common with Chicago - Chicago were a band, fronted by the late Peter Cetera - If you add the letters “e” and “t” to the front of Cetera you get etcetera, which is normally abbreviated using the letters “etc” - Etc rhymes with BCG, which is a type of inoculation against tuberculosis - Tuberculosis, if not treated properly, can be a killer - Killer was a 1990 hit for Adamski, but featured the vocal talents of Seal - Seals have a large percentage of body fat to insulate them against the cold - The Cold War had nothing to do with seals and was actually a conflict of suspicion between the West and the East, who are separated by The Iron Curtain - Curtains run on rails, as do trains - Trains employ conductors, as do orchestras - Orchestra stalls is a slang term for testicles - Testicles are traditionally unique to men - and men tend to be physically bigger than women in most instances, with the only notable exception being Macy Gray - Which links us to Macy Gray and I Try
