chrismoyles.net
- Mon Jun 21, 2004 9:49 am
#241950
OPENING JINGLE:>>>> “We’ve played 2 games in Portugal, last week we beat the Swiss,
Wayne Rooney got 2 wonder goals and Gerrard’s one was bliss,
Tonight we play Croatia and we’re gonna score loads more,
and then we’ll win the lot at Euro 2004,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
(Aled on his pink lilo...so butch)
1. Pink - Get The Party Started 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Faithless - Mass Destruction, 3. Christina Aguilera - Fighter, 4. Baddiel & Skinner and The Lightning Seeds - 3 Lions '98, 5. BUZZ OFF - Yazz & The Plastic Population - The Only Way Is Up, 6. Kelis - Trick Me 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Scissor Sisters - Laura, 8. Jason Nevins feat Holly James - I’m In Heaven, 9. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love, 10. Britney Spears - Everytime 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Basement Jaxx feat Lisa Kekaula - Good Luck, 12. Usher - Burn, 13. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Can’t Stop (Live from Hyde Park - 20/06/2004), 14. Jamelia - See It In A Boy's Eyes 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started, 16. The Farm - Altogether Now (Euro 2004 Mix), 17. 50 Cent - In Da Club, 18. Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit (Tedious Link), 19. The 411 feat Ghostface Killah - On My Knees, 20. The 5678's - Woo Hoo, 21. Blink 182 - Down, 22. Nelly Furtado - Forca 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. Elton John - Are You Ready For Love, 24. Outkast - Roses, 25. Kristian Leontiou - Story Of My Life, 26. Collapsed Lung - Eat My Goal
Chris and Portugal trip producer Rhys both went to the Spain - Portugal match at Sporting Lisbon’s ground last night, which they said was fantastic. More cos of the electric atmosphere than the actual game itself, which Portugal won 1-0. Chris said they both were dead high up and had a birds eye view of the pitch, plus the clever little moat around it that stops the crowd getting onto the pitch.
Chris - There’s like a little drawbridge that comes out over the moat for the teams to run up
Dave - Yeah?
Chris - Yeah, quite nice
Dave - over crocodiles and stuff
Chris - No Dave they don’t have crocodiles
Dave - Right
Rhys wondered what would happen if the ball went in the moat. Adidas supply about 50 million balls per game anyway so Chris said they’d have significant back up. Yeah, I wouldn’t start panicking, cos it’s not as if they’ve just kicked it into the next villa over a 30 foot wall *cough* Chris *cough*. While Hughes and Moyles took in the action from inside the stadium, the rest of the villa crew watched it in a local bar on TV. Dave said after the match finished and Portugal had qualified, the bar staff kept playing some kind of obscure Portuguese dance track while people stood on their chairs and swung their shirts over their heads. Edit - The track is the official Portuguese Euro 2004 song and is called Será Demais Pedir a Taça by Da Weasel, which translates as "Is it too much asking the cup?" (ta to Rachel via David on the messageboard for the info on that). As the locals were loving the tune so much, Rachel decided to steal the CD from behind the bar so that Chris could play it this morning (he started the show with it). Rach said she did steal it in an act of drunken stupidity and would of course be returning it later (after copying it onto another CD to use again and again, yep). Last night’s match may have been huge, but from our point of view it pales into insignificance compared to the one tonight at Benfica’s Stadium Of Light. It is of course England versus Croatia, a match we need just a point from to progress through to the quarter finals and a possible meeting with the aforementioned Portuguese. Dave is having bad feelings though. He thinks everyone is being far too complacent about it and have their taken foot off the pedal early. Chris is feeling confident and says it’s vital we win tonight for three crucial reasons.
1 - TO QUALIFY (obviously)
2 - TO GET TEAM MORALE UP AHEAD OF THE QUARTER FINALS
3 - CHRIS ONLY HAS HIS BASE TAN AND IS READY TO PROGRESS TO THE NEXT LEVEL
Football records played today included The 5678's, The Farm, Collapsed Lung and Baddiel & Skinner’s 3 Lions '98, with the immortal lyric “We can dance Nobby’s dance, we can dance it in France”. Buzz Off today was also slightly England themed, as it was “The Only Way Is Up” by Yazz & The Plastic Population (let’s rock). Think positive thoughts, positive thoughts. The tune was a number one back in July 1988, a year picked for today’s Buzz Off by big boss Ben Cooper, who was in the villa this morning. With Ben, Rhys and Rach on the show today, we were only lacking Greyhead for the full Chris Moyles Producer set. Aled was loving Chris’s choice of Yazz and both were doing identical hand movements on the chorus. Aled even started doing a bit of singing, which forced Rachel to buzz in straight away. That was on 2 minutes 23, Dave followed on 3:40 and Aled finally on 3:53. The text vote was 57% in favour of Buzz On. Chris urged everyone listening to support England tonight, whether they be English, Scottish, Welsh or Irish. One Scot texted in saying he’d be supporting Croatia. Chris told him to shut up and said that he’d done his bit for the Scots and it was now time for them to repay the favour (he once bought a Del Amitri album y'see).
JACK BAINE IN LISBON AND CARRIE STANDING IN FOR JULES:
If you’re a regular reader of my reviews you’ll know that Newsbeat’s Jack Baine is in Lisbon reporting on the England fans in Euro 2004, and after 7:30 today he linked up live for a little chat with Chris. After getting the wacky delay gag over and done with, Jack said Lisbon was fairly quiet this morning. He said it was still recovering from last night’s pandemonium after Portugal beat Spain 1-0. Unintentionally Jack said “pandemonium” in the cheesiest local radio DJ voice ever, which caused Chris and Dave to burst out laughing. From this point onwards pandemonium must have been mentioned in every link at some point, so forgive me the overuse of the word today, cos let’s face it I’ll never write it again after. Once Chris had taken the piss out of Jack with his cheesy mobile DJ impersonations, the conversation turned back to Lisbon. Jack said people in every car there last night were beeping their horns and waving flags out of their windows. Chris said he was leaning out of the window to watch all this, while Rhys took great pleasure in sitting back in a traffic jam and beeping his horn repeatedly for no great reason. Sounds like fun. Jack said his taxi driver had had a bit to drink last night and just about got him back to his hotel in one piece, although he seemed a great deal more concerned with telling him how great Portugal were and how crap Spain were. Chris said the ground went berserk when old Nuno Gomes blasted in that goal yesterday, and he played out the local radio commentary of it, which wasn’t subdued as you can probably guess. Part time breakfast news editor Jack kept doing his ridiculous Portuguese voice, which was weird hearing as he is usually one of Newsbeat’s more serious political types. He is predicting a 3-1 England win tonight and a quarter final clash with Portugal on Thursday, which would of course be “pandemonium” mate...
(Jack Baine - pandemonium)
- Read the latest diary entries from Jack and David Garridiot here in their blog, or catch up with everything regarding Newsbeat at Euro 2004 by clicking here
As I predicted back on the 27th of May (check the archives kids) Juliette is reporting on Wimbledon for Radio Five Live this next fortnight, so as a result isn’t reading the sport on Breakfast. I think her replacement is a good one - it’s Carrie Davies. She’s also another female Five Live sports reporter, who has read on Chris’s show on afternoons before and also done the odd bit of stuff on 606 and Radio 2. Carrie was thankful that Chris no longer has the “ooh Carrie Davies” jingle he made comparing her to Gary Davies, but he said he could remake it today if she wants, let’s face it he’s not got much else to do. Chris said unlike a lot of the other female sports journos, Carrie isn’t a dog and is actually an attractive lady (no pics available, sorry fellas). Predictably Chris and Dom did the “I’d give her one” gag, which made her feel slightly uncomfortable second time around. Dave said it was a neatly disguised bit of borderline harassment. Dom also said that Chris sounded so sleazy when he asked Carrie what she was wearing this morning (and yes he did play his sad music). Sticking with the subject of clothes, Dom (who was hilarious today - really fantastic) asked what Chappers looked like first thing in the morning. I would have thought he’d have known as I’m sure he read the news on Coxy’s breakfast show a few times. However, Chris said Chappers looks awful and for some reason has picked up the habit of wearing yesterday’s t-shirt first thing in the morning...
Chappers (butts in) - Because, because, I’m gonna go by the pool...
(Dom interrupts brilliantly) - Morning
Chappers - ...later..(stops mid sentence)..good morning Dom. How are you?
Dom (laughs) - I’m very well
Chappers - Because I’ve got to go and do some research by the pool later so I might as well wear the t-shirt from yesterday and let it get dirty and then wear the fresh one tonight, when I’ll look hot
(Rachel, Paul and then Chappers himself laugh)
Dave - You started wearing that t-shirt on Thursday though!
Chappers (sounding angry) - What? Why are you paying so much attention to my clothes you strange boy?
Chris (shouting across) - Cos you’re a scruffy git!!!
Chappers - Alright
(pause)
Chris - Don’t cry
Dom - Two words Chappers - personal hygiene...do you know what I mean?
(everyone laughs as Chris plays jingle)
CHART CHINWAG WITH WES:>>>>
Undoubtedly the funniest of these in months today, as Wes informed Chris of how he missed the Chili Peppers gig yesterday cos he was trying to chase a three legged cat. Interested? Here we go then. Wes had got home after his show to spot a limping little kitten (well actually a cat) outside his house. Wes did his bit and phoned the RSPCA, to whom he was on the line to for about half an hour. However, when they came round and they tried to get the cat, it kept running about everywhere - surely a sign that it must have been ok. After a couple of hours Wes said that they just decided to leave it...
Chris - So hang on, after all of this the cat’s still missing...and injured?
Wes - Yeah yeah
Chris - Right well a great help you are son, do you know what I mean..
Wes - I tried my best!!
Chris - Rather than sitting on the phone to the RSPCA inside watching the telly, did you not think it was a good idea just to pick the cat up yourself?
*Wes (squeals hilariously in high pitched voice) - No! no, I was outside guarding the cat
Chris (shouts) - Well you didn’t do a bloody good job did you? It ran away... with a broken leg!!!
Wes - Listen, I tried my best
Chris - Eh it’s curtains for the kitten now son...
(Wes laughs)
Chris -...cos of you
Wes - Well it’s the thought that counts
* - Possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever heard - Wes’s ultra high pitched voice as he tried to defend his actions. Oh and number one this week is Britney Spears.
- Don’t forget you can listen again to the UK’s Official Chart Show with Wes right here via that Listen Again link to Radio 1 Online
Everyone on the team was fairly perky this morning, that is apart from Dave who looked awful and put his bad mood down to him not having a shower before today’s show. Rachel said he stunk, but Chris said not as bad as her feet. Rach put her feet in a bag when she took her shoes off last week, just cos they stunk so much.
Dave - They’re like blocks of cheese with toes
(lots of background laughter - including Security Bear Paul)
Dave, Dom and Carrie played Guess Who, with three big celebrities spotted by Chris and Rhys at last night’s Spain - Portugal match. They were Alan Hansen, Gordon Strachan and David Pleat, although Rach wasn’t happy that the link was taking so long.
Chris - Go and make us a cup of tea will you my darling...
(Dom and Dave laugh)
Dom - I bet that goes down well in the villa doesn’t it?
Chris - Yeah it goes down like a fart in a crowded lift son
(Dom and Carrie laugh)
Dave - Make tea not war Rachel
GARY LINEKER LIVE ON THE PHONE:
Yep, the jug eared goalhanging crisp lover joined Chris live on the phone at 8:15 to talk about tonight’s match. Gary was clearly tired as he’d just been woken up (by Aled actually), and blamed it on the large night he’d had last night after the Portugal game. He agreed with Chris that the atmosphere in the ground was fantastic and said hopefully it’ll be just as good tonight for the England - Croatia game. Gary thinks we’ll win rather than draw, and he said that that would be a hell of a lot better for our nerves going into the last 10 or 15 minutes tonight. Chris explained that he is only staying out there as long as England are in the competition, so told Gary to put a good word in for him the next time he sees one of the players (cos he’s only got his base tan so far remember). You can tell Gary wasn’t that impressed with Chris’s truly dreadful Beckham and Alan Hansen impressions. Gary said Alan is actually dying to be an England fan inside...
Gary - Underneath it all he’s got a burning desire to be one of us
(everyone laughs)
The interview detoriated the longer it went on, but Gary vowed to come back on the show if England get through to the final against France. Lets hope so eh..
Chappers joined proceedings to confirm that it’s red shirts tonight, clarify England’s yellow card situation (not very well) and bring us more stats courtesy of his Chinese friend Mr BenQ. Chris did his Bert Kwouk impression for Ben...
Dave - Morning Ben if you’re listening
Chappers - Hey it’s Mr Q to you Dave
(Chris laughs)
Aled also had some footy news of his own (no really), regarding Aberystwyth’s involvement in the Intertoto Cup this summer. They drew 0-0 against FC Dinaberg from Latvia last week in Wales, and now just need a score draw from the away leg on Saturday to go through to the next round. Chris asked Aber’s vice president Aled who their main striker and goalkeeper was at the moment. Aled obviously had team info in front of him so was actually able to give their names...
Chris - Any other positions you’re curious about from the Aberystwyth side, Chappers or Dave?
Chappers - I want to know who their playmaker is
Aled - No I think you don’t
(everyone laughs)
Moyles played In Da Club by 50 Cent and remembered the time earlier in the year when he asked Fiddy what his first ever job was, only for him to reply “selling drugs”. Whoops. Chris said it has to go down as one of the highlights of his interviewing career. Chris also played Trick Me by Kelis and talked about something that I mentioned on this page a couple of months back. It’s well known that Kelis is a keen knitter and now has her own knitting tutor - non other than Hannah Brown who works at Radio 1. You may remember (if you’re as sad as me) Chris ranting at Hannah for knitting, when on afternoons last year. It was actually a show Rachel was producing, as she was covering for Will. This time around Chris didn’t give out Hannah’s name, but it’s confirmed in this interview with Kelis.
Dave - She’s wool mad
Chris (laughs) - It’s unbelievable
Big Villa was back too today. Aled got evicted and put in the villa’s makeshift bedsit with access to a sunbed, some dove body silk and a TV screen showing all channels, including CCTV footage of the villa. Aled then returned a day later, blissfully unaware they’d all been slagging him off as he’d been watching re runs of Sex In The City on E4 for the past 24 hours.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
JIM parked next to a canal in Tottenham with geese 2
RUTH a photographer from Gillingham 0
Daves Tedious Link
Livin' Joy Dreamer - A dreamer is someone who probably spends a lot of time asleep - The opposite of asleep is awake - A wake is something that takes place after a funeral - Funeral For A Friend are a band from Wales - Whales are related to dolphins - Dolphins in the world of American football come from Miami - Miami Sound Machine were fronted by Gloria Estefan - Gloria Estefan shares the same first name as Gloria Gaynor - Gaynor Goodman is a famous name in the world of vintage page 3 models - Page 3 models are traditionally top heavy - Heavy rhymes with both chevy and levee, which were the subject of the song American Pie by Don McLean - Don McLean is a famous American singer who is now sadly dead, a bit like Kurt Cobain from Nirvana - Which links us to Nirvana and Smells Like Teen Spirit
DAVE’S TEDIOUS LINK NIGHTMARE:>>>
I must admit to wondering if Don McLean was dead as Dave did the link, but as soon as Chris back announced Nirvana with “roll your tapes now”, you knew Dave had made a huge balls up. Definitely the funniest Tedious Link mess up on Breakfast so far...
Chris - Nirvana and Smells Like Teen Spirit on today’s tedious link. Dave, seamless?
Dave - erm, I think there might have been a couple of problems
(everyone in the villa laughs as Chris hits the Treasure Hunt bed)
FLAWS
*Whales are not related to dolphins as whales are mammals
*A wake can take place before a funeral as well as after it
*Chevy and levee weren’t the subject of American Pie, that was Buddy Holly’s death
*and - Don McLean isn’t dead at all and is currently on a world tour
Dave - Well I have to say I didn’t know that
(everyone laughs)
Dave offered his sincerest apologies to Mr McLean and the McLean family, although he denied that him writing the link at 5.15am today had anything to the link as such...
Dave - I couldn’t get on the Internet this morning so I just thought I’d go with my instincts and say he was dead
(everyone in the villa laughs)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOCELYN
I don’t know how old she is but it’s Jocelyn’s birthday today. She’s the replacement daytime BA on the show for Geordie Kid and sounds quite fit (she did when she spoke on the air the other week anyway). Please can we have a photo of her Radio 1 Online? Thank you please.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8018">> Moyles Live In Portugal - Monday June 21st Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
Wayne Rooney got 2 wonder goals and Gerrard’s one was bliss,
Tonight we play Croatia and we’re gonna score loads more,
and then we’ll win the lot at Euro 2004,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
(Aled on his pink lilo...so butch)
1. Pink - Get The Party Started 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Faithless - Mass Destruction, 3. Christina Aguilera - Fighter, 4. Baddiel & Skinner and The Lightning Seeds - 3 Lions '98, 5. BUZZ OFF - Yazz & The Plastic Population - The Only Way Is Up, 6. Kelis - Trick Me 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Scissor Sisters - Laura, 8. Jason Nevins feat Holly James - I’m In Heaven, 9. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love, 10. Britney Spears - Everytime 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Basement Jaxx feat Lisa Kekaula - Good Luck, 12. Usher - Burn, 13. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Can’t Stop (Live from Hyde Park - 20/06/2004), 14. Jamelia - See It In A Boy's Eyes 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started, 16. The Farm - Altogether Now (Euro 2004 Mix), 17. 50 Cent - In Da Club, 18. Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit (Tedious Link), 19. The 411 feat Ghostface Killah - On My Knees, 20. The 5678's - Woo Hoo, 21. Blink 182 - Down, 22. Nelly Furtado - Forca 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. Elton John - Are You Ready For Love, 24. Outkast - Roses, 25. Kristian Leontiou - Story Of My Life, 26. Collapsed Lung - Eat My Goal
Chris and Portugal trip producer Rhys both went to the Spain - Portugal match at Sporting Lisbon’s ground last night, which they said was fantastic. More cos of the electric atmosphere than the actual game itself, which Portugal won 1-0. Chris said they both were dead high up and had a birds eye view of the pitch, plus the clever little moat around it that stops the crowd getting onto the pitch.
Chris - There’s like a little drawbridge that comes out over the moat for the teams to run up
Dave - Yeah?
Chris - Yeah, quite nice
Dave - over crocodiles and stuff
Chris - No Dave they don’t have crocodiles
Dave - Right
Rhys wondered what would happen if the ball went in the moat. Adidas supply about 50 million balls per game anyway so Chris said they’d have significant back up. Yeah, I wouldn’t start panicking, cos it’s not as if they’ve just kicked it into the next villa over a 30 foot wall *cough* Chris *cough*. While Hughes and Moyles took in the action from inside the stadium, the rest of the villa crew watched it in a local bar on TV. Dave said after the match finished and Portugal had qualified, the bar staff kept playing some kind of obscure Portuguese dance track while people stood on their chairs and swung their shirts over their heads. Edit - The track is the official Portuguese Euro 2004 song and is called Será Demais Pedir a Taça by Da Weasel, which translates as "Is it too much asking the cup?" (ta to Rachel via David on the messageboard for the info on that). As the locals were loving the tune so much, Rachel decided to steal the CD from behind the bar so that Chris could play it this morning (he started the show with it). Rach said she did steal it in an act of drunken stupidity and would of course be returning it later (after copying it onto another CD to use again and again, yep). Last night’s match may have been huge, but from our point of view it pales into insignificance compared to the one tonight at Benfica’s Stadium Of Light. It is of course England versus Croatia, a match we need just a point from to progress through to the quarter finals and a possible meeting with the aforementioned Portuguese. Dave is having bad feelings though. He thinks everyone is being far too complacent about it and have their taken foot off the pedal early. Chris is feeling confident and says it’s vital we win tonight for three crucial reasons.
1 - TO QUALIFY (obviously)
2 - TO GET TEAM MORALE UP AHEAD OF THE QUARTER FINALS
3 - CHRIS ONLY HAS HIS BASE TAN AND IS READY TO PROGRESS TO THE NEXT LEVEL
Football records played today included The 5678's, The Farm, Collapsed Lung and Baddiel & Skinner’s 3 Lions '98, with the immortal lyric “We can dance Nobby’s dance, we can dance it in France”. Buzz Off today was also slightly England themed, as it was “The Only Way Is Up” by Yazz & The Plastic Population (let’s rock). Think positive thoughts, positive thoughts. The tune was a number one back in July 1988, a year picked for today’s Buzz Off by big boss Ben Cooper, who was in the villa this morning. With Ben, Rhys and Rach on the show today, we were only lacking Greyhead for the full Chris Moyles Producer set. Aled was loving Chris’s choice of Yazz and both were doing identical hand movements on the chorus. Aled even started doing a bit of singing, which forced Rachel to buzz in straight away. That was on 2 minutes 23, Dave followed on 3:40 and Aled finally on 3:53. The text vote was 57% in favour of Buzz On. Chris urged everyone listening to support England tonight, whether they be English, Scottish, Welsh or Irish. One Scot texted in saying he’d be supporting Croatia. Chris told him to shut up and said that he’d done his bit for the Scots and it was now time for them to repay the favour (he once bought a Del Amitri album y'see).
JACK BAINE IN LISBON AND CARRIE STANDING IN FOR JULES:
If you’re a regular reader of my reviews you’ll know that Newsbeat’s Jack Baine is in Lisbon reporting on the England fans in Euro 2004, and after 7:30 today he linked up live for a little chat with Chris. After getting the wacky delay gag over and done with, Jack said Lisbon was fairly quiet this morning. He said it was still recovering from last night’s pandemonium after Portugal beat Spain 1-0. Unintentionally Jack said “pandemonium” in the cheesiest local radio DJ voice ever, which caused Chris and Dave to burst out laughing. From this point onwards pandemonium must have been mentioned in every link at some point, so forgive me the overuse of the word today, cos let’s face it I’ll never write it again after. Once Chris had taken the piss out of Jack with his cheesy mobile DJ impersonations, the conversation turned back to Lisbon. Jack said people in every car there last night were beeping their horns and waving flags out of their windows. Chris said he was leaning out of the window to watch all this, while Rhys took great pleasure in sitting back in a traffic jam and beeping his horn repeatedly for no great reason. Sounds like fun. Jack said his taxi driver had had a bit to drink last night and just about got him back to his hotel in one piece, although he seemed a great deal more concerned with telling him how great Portugal were and how crap Spain were. Chris said the ground went berserk when old Nuno Gomes blasted in that goal yesterday, and he played out the local radio commentary of it, which wasn’t subdued as you can probably guess. Part time breakfast news editor Jack kept doing his ridiculous Portuguese voice, which was weird hearing as he is usually one of Newsbeat’s more serious political types. He is predicting a 3-1 England win tonight and a quarter final clash with Portugal on Thursday, which would of course be “pandemonium” mate...
(Jack Baine - pandemonium)
- Read the latest diary entries from Jack and David Garridiot here in their blog, or catch up with everything regarding Newsbeat at Euro 2004 by clicking here
As I predicted back on the 27th of May (check the archives kids) Juliette is reporting on Wimbledon for Radio Five Live this next fortnight, so as a result isn’t reading the sport on Breakfast. I think her replacement is a good one - it’s Carrie Davies. She’s also another female Five Live sports reporter, who has read on Chris’s show on afternoons before and also done the odd bit of stuff on 606 and Radio 2. Carrie was thankful that Chris no longer has the “ooh Carrie Davies” jingle he made comparing her to Gary Davies, but he said he could remake it today if she wants, let’s face it he’s not got much else to do. Chris said unlike a lot of the other female sports journos, Carrie isn’t a dog and is actually an attractive lady (no pics available, sorry fellas). Predictably Chris and Dom did the “I’d give her one” gag, which made her feel slightly uncomfortable second time around. Dave said it was a neatly disguised bit of borderline harassment. Dom also said that Chris sounded so sleazy when he asked Carrie what she was wearing this morning (and yes he did play his sad music). Sticking with the subject of clothes, Dom (who was hilarious today - really fantastic) asked what Chappers looked like first thing in the morning. I would have thought he’d have known as I’m sure he read the news on Coxy’s breakfast show a few times. However, Chris said Chappers looks awful and for some reason has picked up the habit of wearing yesterday’s t-shirt first thing in the morning...
Chappers (butts in) - Because, because, I’m gonna go by the pool...
(Dom interrupts brilliantly) - Morning
Chappers - ...later..(stops mid sentence)..good morning Dom. How are you?
Dom (laughs) - I’m very well
Chappers - Because I’ve got to go and do some research by the pool later so I might as well wear the t-shirt from yesterday and let it get dirty and then wear the fresh one tonight, when I’ll look hot
(Rachel, Paul and then Chappers himself laugh)
Dave - You started wearing that t-shirt on Thursday though!
Chappers (sounding angry) - What? Why are you paying so much attention to my clothes you strange boy?
Chris (shouting across) - Cos you’re a scruffy git!!!
Chappers - Alright
(pause)
Chris - Don’t cry
Dom - Two words Chappers - personal hygiene...do you know what I mean?
(everyone laughs as Chris plays jingle)
CHART CHINWAG WITH WES:>>>>
Undoubtedly the funniest of these in months today, as Wes informed Chris of how he missed the Chili Peppers gig yesterday cos he was trying to chase a three legged cat. Interested? Here we go then. Wes had got home after his show to spot a limping little kitten (well actually a cat) outside his house. Wes did his bit and phoned the RSPCA, to whom he was on the line to for about half an hour. However, when they came round and they tried to get the cat, it kept running about everywhere - surely a sign that it must have been ok. After a couple of hours Wes said that they just decided to leave it...
Chris - So hang on, after all of this the cat’s still missing...and injured?
Wes - Yeah yeah
Chris - Right well a great help you are son, do you know what I mean..
Wes - I tried my best!!
Chris - Rather than sitting on the phone to the RSPCA inside watching the telly, did you not think it was a good idea just to pick the cat up yourself?
*Wes (squeals hilariously in high pitched voice) - No! no, I was outside guarding the cat
Chris (shouts) - Well you didn’t do a bloody good job did you? It ran away... with a broken leg!!!
Wes - Listen, I tried my best
Chris - Eh it’s curtains for the kitten now son...
(Wes laughs)
Chris -...cos of you
Wes - Well it’s the thought that counts
* - Possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever heard - Wes’s ultra high pitched voice as he tried to defend his actions. Oh and number one this week is Britney Spears.
- Don’t forget you can listen again to the UK’s Official Chart Show with Wes right here via that Listen Again link to Radio 1 Online
Everyone on the team was fairly perky this morning, that is apart from Dave who looked awful and put his bad mood down to him not having a shower before today’s show. Rachel said he stunk, but Chris said not as bad as her feet. Rach put her feet in a bag when she took her shoes off last week, just cos they stunk so much.
Dave - They’re like blocks of cheese with toes
(lots of background laughter - including Security Bear Paul)
Dave, Dom and Carrie played Guess Who, with three big celebrities spotted by Chris and Rhys at last night’s Spain - Portugal match. They were Alan Hansen, Gordon Strachan and David Pleat, although Rach wasn’t happy that the link was taking so long.
Chris - Go and make us a cup of tea will you my darling...
(Dom and Dave laugh)
Dom - I bet that goes down well in the villa doesn’t it?
Chris - Yeah it goes down like a fart in a crowded lift son
(Dom and Carrie laugh)
Dave - Make tea not war Rachel
GARY LINEKER LIVE ON THE PHONE:
Yep, the jug eared goalhanging crisp lover joined Chris live on the phone at 8:15 to talk about tonight’s match. Gary was clearly tired as he’d just been woken up (by Aled actually), and blamed it on the large night he’d had last night after the Portugal game. He agreed with Chris that the atmosphere in the ground was fantastic and said hopefully it’ll be just as good tonight for the England - Croatia game. Gary thinks we’ll win rather than draw, and he said that that would be a hell of a lot better for our nerves going into the last 10 or 15 minutes tonight. Chris explained that he is only staying out there as long as England are in the competition, so told Gary to put a good word in for him the next time he sees one of the players (cos he’s only got his base tan so far remember). You can tell Gary wasn’t that impressed with Chris’s truly dreadful Beckham and Alan Hansen impressions. Gary said Alan is actually dying to be an England fan inside...
Gary - Underneath it all he’s got a burning desire to be one of us
(everyone laughs)
The interview detoriated the longer it went on, but Gary vowed to come back on the show if England get through to the final against France. Lets hope so eh..
Chappers joined proceedings to confirm that it’s red shirts tonight, clarify England’s yellow card situation (not very well) and bring us more stats courtesy of his Chinese friend Mr BenQ. Chris did his Bert Kwouk impression for Ben...
Dave - Morning Ben if you’re listening
Chappers - Hey it’s Mr Q to you Dave
(Chris laughs)
Aled also had some footy news of his own (no really), regarding Aberystwyth’s involvement in the Intertoto Cup this summer. They drew 0-0 against FC Dinaberg from Latvia last week in Wales, and now just need a score draw from the away leg on Saturday to go through to the next round. Chris asked Aber’s vice president Aled who their main striker and goalkeeper was at the moment. Aled obviously had team info in front of him so was actually able to give their names...
Chris - Any other positions you’re curious about from the Aberystwyth side, Chappers or Dave?
Chappers - I want to know who their playmaker is
Aled - No I think you don’t
(everyone laughs)
Moyles played In Da Club by 50 Cent and remembered the time earlier in the year when he asked Fiddy what his first ever job was, only for him to reply “selling drugs”. Whoops. Chris said it has to go down as one of the highlights of his interviewing career. Chris also played Trick Me by Kelis and talked about something that I mentioned on this page a couple of months back. It’s well known that Kelis is a keen knitter and now has her own knitting tutor - non other than Hannah Brown who works at Radio 1. You may remember (if you’re as sad as me) Chris ranting at Hannah for knitting, when on afternoons last year. It was actually a show Rachel was producing, as she was covering for Will. This time around Chris didn’t give out Hannah’s name, but it’s confirmed in this interview with Kelis.
Dave - She’s wool mad
Chris (laughs) - It’s unbelievable
Big Villa was back too today. Aled got evicted and put in the villa’s makeshift bedsit with access to a sunbed, some dove body silk and a TV screen showing all channels, including CCTV footage of the villa. Aled then returned a day later, blissfully unaware they’d all been slagging him off as he’d been watching re runs of Sex In The City on E4 for the past 24 hours.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
JIM parked next to a canal in Tottenham with geese 2
RUTH a photographer from Gillingham 0
Daves Tedious Link
Livin' Joy Dreamer - A dreamer is someone who probably spends a lot of time asleep - The opposite of asleep is awake - A wake is something that takes place after a funeral - Funeral For A Friend are a band from Wales - Whales are related to dolphins - Dolphins in the world of American football come from Miami - Miami Sound Machine were fronted by Gloria Estefan - Gloria Estefan shares the same first name as Gloria Gaynor - Gaynor Goodman is a famous name in the world of vintage page 3 models - Page 3 models are traditionally top heavy - Heavy rhymes with both chevy and levee, which were the subject of the song American Pie by Don McLean - Don McLean is a famous American singer who is now sadly dead, a bit like Kurt Cobain from Nirvana - Which links us to Nirvana and Smells Like Teen Spirit
DAVE’S TEDIOUS LINK NIGHTMARE:>>>
I must admit to wondering if Don McLean was dead as Dave did the link, but as soon as Chris back announced Nirvana with “roll your tapes now”, you knew Dave had made a huge balls up. Definitely the funniest Tedious Link mess up on Breakfast so far...
Chris - Nirvana and Smells Like Teen Spirit on today’s tedious link. Dave, seamless?
Dave - erm, I think there might have been a couple of problems
(everyone in the villa laughs as Chris hits the Treasure Hunt bed)
FLAWS
*Whales are not related to dolphins as whales are mammals
*A wake can take place before a funeral as well as after it
*Chevy and levee weren’t the subject of American Pie, that was Buddy Holly’s death
*and - Don McLean isn’t dead at all and is currently on a world tour
Dave - Well I have to say I didn’t know that
(everyone laughs)
Dave offered his sincerest apologies to Mr McLean and the McLean family, although he denied that him writing the link at 5.15am today had anything to the link as such...
Dave - I couldn’t get on the Internet this morning so I just thought I’d go with my instincts and say he was dead
(everyone in the villa laughs)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOCELYN
I don’t know how old she is but it’s Jocelyn’s birthday today. She’s the replacement daytime BA on the show for Geordie Kid and sounds quite fit (she did when she spoke on the air the other week anyway). Please can we have a photo of her Radio 1 Online? Thank you please.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8018">> Moyles Live In Portugal - Monday June 21st Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
