chrismoyles.net
- Tue Jun 22, 2004 11:08 am
#241951
(Big Group Shot - including Jocelyn and Security Bear Paul. Aled is taking the pic)
OPENING JINGLE:>>>>
“Last night we beat Croatia, it wasn’t very hard,
Scored 4 fantastic England goals from Rooney, Scholes and Lampard,
Next we’re playing Portugal, so on and on we go,
Get a hatrick for us Rooney and a red card for Figo,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
1. The Farm - Altogether Now (Euro 2004 Mix) 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Outkast - Hey Ya, 3. The Rasmus - In The Shadows, 4. Jurgen Vries feat Andrea Britton - Take My Hand, 5. BUZZ OFF - U2 - Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me 7:30 NEWSBEAT 6. The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started, 7. 4-4-2 - Come On England, 8. Lou Reed - Satellite Of Love (Dab Hands Remix), 9. Kanye West feat Syleena Johnson - All Falls Down 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Baddiel & Skinner and The Lightning Seeds - 3 Lions, 11. Blink 182 - Down, 12. The White Stripes - 7 Nation Army, 13. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ, 15. Faithless - Mass Destruction, 16. Snow Patrol - Run, 17. The Strokes - 12:51, 18. Zero 7 - Destiny (Tedious Link), 19. Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl, 20. Max Sedgley - Happy, 21. Mario Winans feat Enya & P. Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know 9:30 NEWSBEAT 22. U2 - Beautiful Day, 23. Kelis - Trick Me
What a night. A fantastic performance, a fantastic result and ..(of course)...there’s only one Wayne Rooney. Chris began the show with a remix of Altogether Now by The Farm, in the sense that he mixed in the commentary of last night’s goals from Radio Five Live. Now you can say what you like about Alan Green and his opinions/Liverpool bias, but there is no denying that he is the best commentator the BBC have. His commentary on both Paul Scholes' opener and Wayne Rooney’s first goal last night made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up - just superb. A bit like the match really. Dave thought it was amazing and Chris called it unreal, although he said he was completely petrified for the entire 90 minutes. Particularly in the first half when Croatia scored and we went so long without equalising, despite playing so well.
Chris - and then the first goal goes in and I jumped up and I screamed so loudly that I went dizzy and almost fainted...
(Dom and Carrie laugh)
Chris - ...how crap is that
I echo Carrie’s thoughts when she says that it was great for Scholesy to get on the target after more than three years without an international goal. He is a world class player and last night was the first time he has shown anything near his true form for England in recent years. Dom picked Scholes lane on the A64 in Leeds for One Road Travel, although he did think that Paul could have had a shave before the match last night. Chris hadn’t either, so said it must have been some kind of good luck thing. Dom watched the game at home with the missus, while Carrie watched it with her flatmates and a couple of beers. Chris made no apologies about the fact that the show would be very England heavy all the way through the morning, although he didn’t seem to go that far over the top in my view (although mind you I am English so am probably the wrong person to be asking in this situation). England records played to celebrate last night’s win included the aforementioned one from The Farm, 3 Lions and Come On England by 4-4-2. Both Chris and Dave were both remarkably perky this morning, particularly Chris who got just two and a half hours sleep last night (I’ll have more on that later). They were both croaky but buoyant, not just by the result yesterday but also by the fact that they don’t have to go home yet, as they’ve just got their base tans so far remember. Dave can’t wait for the England - Portugal match this Thursday (7:45 on BBC1 - don’t you dare miss it), and said that he was glad England didn’t go through to the Friday match against Greece, as it’s a long drive from the villa to Porto. I personally would have preferred to play Greece but I guess only time will tell who was right. All the big posse from Radio 1 may not yet be going home, but unfortunately the competition winners are. They only had tickets to the three group games so fly back out tomorrow at 11. Chris chatted to all three of them - Derek, Dan and Tracey...
Chris - Highlight so far?
Tracey - erm, everything. I’ve really enjoyed it yeah, thank you very much for having us
Chris (laughs) - Well, let’s not talk about that on the air love
(Dave and villa posse laugh)
Chris - I told you what happens in the villa stays in the villa...or in your case out onto the lawn
(everyone including Tracy laughs)
MORE JINGLES:>>>>
* Chris, Dave and Chappers wrote the jingles on their way back from the game to their meet up point at a hotel in Lisbon. Chris thanked Sandy, Richard and Andrea at Music4, who were up till 4:30am working on the jingles this morning...
“So he’s the deal so far, we’re second in the group,
We’re in the quarter finals, Sven kept us in a loop,
Got beaten by the French, came back against the Swiss,
Put four past the Croatians, it was a piece of...cake,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
“For the first thirty minutes England were not in a hurry,
So the team behind these jingles, ordered in a curry,
Plain rice, Rogini Nan and Chicken Tikka Madras,
By the time that we had finished, England kicked Croatia’s ass,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
“Last night we beat Croatia, it really was a treat,
We made it to the quarters thanks to young Wayne’s magic feet,
Rooney made the first and then he scored 2 more,
He’s the undisputed king of Euro 2004,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
“We’ve made the quarter finals and face the Portuguese,
Young Wayne will do the business, and bring them to their knees,
We’re not going home, no we’re not going home,
We’re not going home, no we’re not going home,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, no we’re not going home, National Radio One”
(and my personal favourite...)
“We beat Croatia 4-2, we beat Croatia 4-2,
We beat Croatia 4-2, we beat Croatia 4-2,
These lyrics are a cop out, but what else could we do,
la la la la la la la, we beat Croatia 4-2,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, we beat Croatia 4-2, National Radio One”
CHRIS AND BEN AT THE ENGLAND HOTEL:
After the team and competition winners had met back up at a Lisbon hotel last night, Chris and ex producer Ben Cooper (now head of mainstream programmes at Radio One), went to a very special place...the England team hotel. The coach with all the players on was right behind them, and the entire squad walked past them as they stood in the hotel reception. Chris claimed he was genuinely star struck, as he shook the hand of David Beckham. (Becks probably knows of Chris through Vicky going on his show). Chris said he didn’t meet Super Wayne, although Ben was with the Rooney family in the hotel when they watched his goals being shown on TV for the first time. Chris gave a little nod and a wink to Frankie Lampard and also would have met the gaffer Sven, but for the fact he was on the phone to his (still poorly) dad at the time Eriksson came over to the table. Chris could also exclusively reveal that there’s a playboy pinball machine in the infamous “arcade room”...and a load of semi stolen England stuff in his big black swag bag. Chris said the items in there were not nicked and were simply souvenirs. They included a chavvy England white baseball cap, an England training jacket, Paul Robinson’s unworn goalkeepers shirt from the England - Switzerland game last Thursday, and another replica goalkeeping jersey that Chris was modelling this morning (see the team picture at the top of this review to see him in it - or look below to the left of Chappers in the red).
Here comes the (mildly) funny part of the story. Chris and Ben (the only people from Radio One invited btw) were booted out of the hotel at the players curfew, and then got the tube to meet up with Security Bear Paul at their Lisbon hotel base. The plan was then to get in the car and drive the hour back to the villa. However it didn’t quite go according to plan. Unbeknown to him, Paul had actually parked in a local shopping centre car park earlier, and not in the hotel car park. The shopping centre car park was locked and all the instructions on the outside in Portuguese, which non of them are fluent in (despite Dave’s help). Dave said granted “is there a campsite near here?” or “do you have space for a tent?” doesn’t really cut the mustard at that time of the morning. Eventually at about 2am the concierge guy came out from across the road and let Paul in the car park. He then got stuck in there though, with some Italian guy who couldn’t speak either English or Portuguese. They somehow got the car out of there after a long wait, and Chris eventually got to bed at half three this morning. He said it really was a bizarre night all round.
ENGLAND 4 CROATIA 2 - HOW ALED SAW IT:>>>>
As a diehard football fan from England it pains me to say it, but crop top wearing, self confessed non footy fan and (most importantly) Welshman Aled Jones...had free tickets to last night’s game. It also pains me even more to here Aled say he “didn’t mind if he didn’t go back”. I would have given anything to be at that match last night, anything. Aled said he did have a good time, but blamed his poor attention span for the lack of interest he was showing in the game. He missed Croatia’s first goal cos he was bored and texting someone (AFTER 5 MINUTES!!!), and was also busy checking out the stadium’s colour scheme while everyone else was watching the game and singing. Oh and that was another thing, Aled didn’t like the fans chanting at all. He said it was “childish” the way they kept heckling each other back and forth. Oh dear. Rachel had to keep hitting Aled to keep him interested, although I don’t believe his claim that the second half “really gripped” him.
Aled - The second half was really gripping and I was screaming with the best of them
(whole villa erupts in laughter)
Dave (laughs) - “I was screaming with the best of them”...well, it’s one heck of a quote Aled
You’ll be disappointed to find out that Aled didn’t wear his “I’m Welsh boyo” England shirt last night, although he did get recognised outside the ground along with Chris. Rachel said that it was hilarious and along with Dave insisted that Aled had it set up to meet those people there. Buzz Off today was not England related but a top tune nonetheless, Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me by U2 (number 2 back in June 1995). Dave said it wasn’t his favourite U2 song and buzzed in on 2:08. Rach followed suit on 2:44 and Aled surprisingly kept it on until the end (4:34), although the text vote was 72% Buzz On anyway.
JACK BAINE, ALED’S 2ND HOLIDAY REPORT AND EASY PORTUGUESEY:>>>>
Jack was back live in Lisbon after 7:30, bringing us details on yet more “pandemonium” there last night. This time it was the English fans celebrating and not the Portuguese, although it remains to be seen who will be celebrating this time on Friday morning. Jack couldn’t go to the match for tedious work commitments, so watched the game on a big screen in the centre of Lisbon, with about 500 other England fans. Jack said the crowd were edgy to begin with after Niko Kovac’s opener for the Croats, but as soon as Scholes put the ball in the net the place erupted. He said it was a superb atmosphere all round from then on, with unsurprising chants of “Rooney, Rooney, Rooney!!” ringing round until when he left to go back to his hotel at 1am (it’s work, not a drinking holiday). Y’see Jack had found one bar that stayed open especially after the game, which was packed full of around 2000 England fans trying to get served by 4 barmen. Like Chris, Jack is staying around until England get knocked out of the tournament, although we’re all still keeping our fingers crossed for that France - England final on July 1st. Chris said he’s sure the Portuguese would be rooting for England if that was to be the final, as they seem to hate the French. Well, who doesn’t? Chris said their hotel doorman and some bloke on the tube were slagging off the French before they played England last week (and yes, Chris really did get on the tube). Chris said he hopes that England do get to the final, and they won’t be far off if they keep playing like they did last night. Chris said it was just a pleasure to be there. It would be, especially if you weren’t paying (the jammy git).
Aled was back after 8:30 with his second Portugal Holiday report package, this week all entirely food based. Aled <s>lied</s> said he travelled down to the South Coast to chat to people about the local cuisine, and in particular find out about the Portuguese obsession with seafood.
Chris - I really think he’s bringing home the flava of an all expenses paid work trip
Dave - He’s like the Craig Doyle of Radio 1
Chris - Yeah, (Bo Selecta Craig David impression) Craaigg Doyle!!
Aled again put on his patronising, cheesy voice and delivered a very funny report, including him chatting to a Portuguese fisherman and tasting his seafood...mmm bellas fish. Aled said he wasn’t going to tell them, but he’s allergic to seafood and the last time he ate any, he went bright red and spent the next three days on the toilet.
Chris (at the end of the report in his Holiday voiceover voice) -
“Aled travelled by train to the seaside on a return basis, simply by purchasing a ticket from his local station. A meal for two in the Filange fish restaurant costs between 30 and 40 euros, based on 2 sharing, and a night’s accommodation the hotel d’ville starts at 20 euros per night, based on 6 adults sharing a single room...with breakfast not included. For more information on this or any of the other holiday destinations featured on the show, why not visit your local travel agent...who’ll be able to give you all the details you need”
Dave was back with today’s Easy Portuguesey, although with a slight difference. He had put down his phrase book and said he was now ready to experiment with the language as his confidence has grown...he was ready to make his own sentences. It doesn’t sound a very good idea on paper and it wasn’t either in reality. He taught us “We’re not going home” and “Victory will be ours on Thursday” ok, but Rhys’s Portuguese speaking half cousin Ben told Dave that his version of “Rooney has magic boots and is God” actually translated as “Rooney has a magic charger and is God”. Chris said Rooney must be the saviour of the England team’s mobile phones in that case. Dave said that on the whole, he thought his phrases were reasonably accurate today.
RHYS IN THE POOL:
(Rhys and Chappers enjoying the show)
After engineer Richard sorted out the echo settings that had been tampered with, Dave did his ready to ramble half time precursor and him and Chris then went alfresco, getting on the radio mics and going out poolside. On a little alfresco side note, Chris said he’d seen Alfresco’s room on the website. He said it was a private joke but it’s not really. He’s referring to the spelling error on this page at Radio One Online, which says “Alfred’s room” instead of “Aled’s room”. Chris said that it’s about the time the pool got used, cos let’s face it - it’s not really provided us with as much entertainment as we’d hoped for these past couple of weeks. For the cause then, ex producer and Portugal trip exec Rhys jumped in live on the air. Unfortunately though, he jumped in in his see through white Calvin Klein boxers, and not his swimming shorts. As Dave pointed this out, much hilarity broke out in the villa. Security bear Paul sounded like he was in stitches. A laughing Chris said he had to warn the competition winners as Rhys would be getting out of the pool opposite them.
Chris (laughing) - Urghh, I’ve gotta say Dave that’s one of the most disturbing sights I have ever seen
Dave agreed that it was absolutely gross and Chris said Rhys’s pants were so tight that he looked like Daffyd, the only gay in the village. He added that at least they could now put to bed those rumours about “minnow” Hughes - yep, hung like a wasp. Dave said he felt quite nauseous now...
Chris - Tracy our competition winner has collapsed, and Derek has collapsed, and Andy has had a stroke
(Villa audience, Dave and Rachel laugh)
Dave - Do you wanna rephrase that?
Chris - eh? (then realises)
(everyone laughs)
Dave said that Rhys looked like some kind of fat roman as he returned to the villa in just his towel. Chris called him Gutzilla. With Chris now rambling from the terrace overlooking the lagoon and Dave from the sun lounger, Aled (who was pressing the buttons) said that he could now pretend to be Chris Moyles, with Comedy Rachel as his sidekick. As soon as she started to speak he faded her out, so maybe he could be Chris Moyles after all.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
NICK a student in London who works at a theatre in Milton Keynes 2
GRAHAM a lorry driver from Londonderry 0
Daves Tedious Link
Nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl now fronts his own band and they’re called the Foo Fighters - Foo Fighters is a US air force term for UFO’s - UFO’s come from space - Space the band once did a roadshow with us in the pouring rain in Rhyl - “Rhyl” is one of the few words in the English language not to contain any vowels, another one of course being rhythm - Rhythm is a quality required by all drummers - Drummers in the world of Bernard Matthews are actually drumstick shaped bits of turkey - Turkey the country sadly didn’t qualify for this years European Championships in Portugal - Portugal is who we will play in the quarter finals on Thursday - Thursday is the only day of the week to begin with the letters “Th” - The initials TH in the world of Premiership football stand for Tottenham Hotspur - Tottenham Hotspur are a London club - London, or more precisely the London borough of Stockwell, was the birthplace of the actor Roger Moore, who starred as James Bond 007 - and if you remove the first zero from the numbers 007, you’re left simply with zero seven - Which links us to Zero 7 and Destiny
FLAW
*Rhyl has a vowel as it’s a Welsh word
DOM MEETS STEVE COOGAN AND JACKIE CHAN
Yep, he’s interviewing them both individually this morning about their new film Around The World In 80 Days. I’ve seen the trails and it looks rollocks, and Dominic (who’s seen the film) seemed to suggest the same. Dave suggested Dom do Easy Cantonesey with Jackie (cue the 7 year old apple crumble “pengoi combo” gag). Dom thinks Jackie’s lack of good English may also make for hilarious consequences in the interview. Make sure you find out if it does by tuning into tomorrow’s show from 7 on Radio One.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8018">> Moyles Live In Portugal - Tues June 22nd Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
(Big Group Shot - including Jocelyn and Security Bear Paul. Aled is taking the pic)
OPENING JINGLE:>>>>
“Last night we beat Croatia, it wasn’t very hard,
Scored 4 fantastic England goals from Rooney, Scholes and Lampard,
Next we’re playing Portugal, so on and on we go,
Get a hatrick for us Rooney and a red card for Figo,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
1. The Farm - Altogether Now (Euro 2004 Mix) 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Outkast - Hey Ya, 3. The Rasmus - In The Shadows, 4. Jurgen Vries feat Andrea Britton - Take My Hand, 5. BUZZ OFF - U2 - Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me 7:30 NEWSBEAT 6. The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started, 7. 4-4-2 - Come On England, 8. Lou Reed - Satellite Of Love (Dab Hands Remix), 9. Kanye West feat Syleena Johnson - All Falls Down 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Baddiel & Skinner and The Lightning Seeds - 3 Lions, 11. Blink 182 - Down, 12. The White Stripes - 7 Nation Army, 13. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ, 15. Faithless - Mass Destruction, 16. Snow Patrol - Run, 17. The Strokes - 12:51, 18. Zero 7 - Destiny (Tedious Link), 19. Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl, 20. Max Sedgley - Happy, 21. Mario Winans feat Enya & P. Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know 9:30 NEWSBEAT 22. U2 - Beautiful Day, 23. Kelis - Trick Me
What a night. A fantastic performance, a fantastic result and ..(of course)...there’s only one Wayne Rooney. Chris began the show with a remix of Altogether Now by The Farm, in the sense that he mixed in the commentary of last night’s goals from Radio Five Live. Now you can say what you like about Alan Green and his opinions/Liverpool bias, but there is no denying that he is the best commentator the BBC have. His commentary on both Paul Scholes' opener and Wayne Rooney’s first goal last night made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up - just superb. A bit like the match really. Dave thought it was amazing and Chris called it unreal, although he said he was completely petrified for the entire 90 minutes. Particularly in the first half when Croatia scored and we went so long without equalising, despite playing so well.
Chris - and then the first goal goes in and I jumped up and I screamed so loudly that I went dizzy and almost fainted...
(Dom and Carrie laugh)
Chris - ...how crap is that
I echo Carrie’s thoughts when she says that it was great for Scholesy to get on the target after more than three years without an international goal. He is a world class player and last night was the first time he has shown anything near his true form for England in recent years. Dom picked Scholes lane on the A64 in Leeds for One Road Travel, although he did think that Paul could have had a shave before the match last night. Chris hadn’t either, so said it must have been some kind of good luck thing. Dom watched the game at home with the missus, while Carrie watched it with her flatmates and a couple of beers. Chris made no apologies about the fact that the show would be very England heavy all the way through the morning, although he didn’t seem to go that far over the top in my view (although mind you I am English so am probably the wrong person to be asking in this situation). England records played to celebrate last night’s win included the aforementioned one from The Farm, 3 Lions and Come On England by 4-4-2. Both Chris and Dave were both remarkably perky this morning, particularly Chris who got just two and a half hours sleep last night (I’ll have more on that later). They were both croaky but buoyant, not just by the result yesterday but also by the fact that they don’t have to go home yet, as they’ve just got their base tans so far remember. Dave can’t wait for the England - Portugal match this Thursday (7:45 on BBC1 - don’t you dare miss it), and said that he was glad England didn’t go through to the Friday match against Greece, as it’s a long drive from the villa to Porto. I personally would have preferred to play Greece but I guess only time will tell who was right. All the big posse from Radio 1 may not yet be going home, but unfortunately the competition winners are. They only had tickets to the three group games so fly back out tomorrow at 11. Chris chatted to all three of them - Derek, Dan and Tracey...
Chris - Highlight so far?
Tracey - erm, everything. I’ve really enjoyed it yeah, thank you very much for having us
Chris (laughs) - Well, let’s not talk about that on the air love
(Dave and villa posse laugh)
Chris - I told you what happens in the villa stays in the villa...or in your case out onto the lawn
(everyone including Tracy laughs)
MORE JINGLES:>>>>
* Chris, Dave and Chappers wrote the jingles on their way back from the game to their meet up point at a hotel in Lisbon. Chris thanked Sandy, Richard and Andrea at Music4, who were up till 4:30am working on the jingles this morning...
“So he’s the deal so far, we’re second in the group,
We’re in the quarter finals, Sven kept us in a loop,
Got beaten by the French, came back against the Swiss,
Put four past the Croatians, it was a piece of...cake,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
“For the first thirty minutes England were not in a hurry,
So the team behind these jingles, ordered in a curry,
Plain rice, Rogini Nan and Chicken Tikka Madras,
By the time that we had finished, England kicked Croatia’s ass,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
“Last night we beat Croatia, it really was a treat,
We made it to the quarters thanks to young Wayne’s magic feet,
Rooney made the first and then he scored 2 more,
He’s the undisputed king of Euro 2004,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, live from Portugal, National Radio One”
“We’ve made the quarter finals and face the Portuguese,
Young Wayne will do the business, and bring them to their knees,
We’re not going home, no we’re not going home,
We’re not going home, no we’re not going home,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, no we’re not going home, National Radio One”
(and my personal favourite...)
“We beat Croatia 4-2, we beat Croatia 4-2,
We beat Croatia 4-2, we beat Croatia 4-2,
These lyrics are a cop out, but what else could we do,
la la la la la la la, we beat Croatia 4-2,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, we beat Croatia 4-2, National Radio One”
CHRIS AND BEN AT THE ENGLAND HOTEL:
After the team and competition winners had met back up at a Lisbon hotel last night, Chris and ex producer Ben Cooper (now head of mainstream programmes at Radio One), went to a very special place...the England team hotel. The coach with all the players on was right behind them, and the entire squad walked past them as they stood in the hotel reception. Chris claimed he was genuinely star struck, as he shook the hand of David Beckham. (Becks probably knows of Chris through Vicky going on his show). Chris said he didn’t meet Super Wayne, although Ben was with the Rooney family in the hotel when they watched his goals being shown on TV for the first time. Chris gave a little nod and a wink to Frankie Lampard and also would have met the gaffer Sven, but for the fact he was on the phone to his (still poorly) dad at the time Eriksson came over to the table. Chris could also exclusively reveal that there’s a playboy pinball machine in the infamous “arcade room”...and a load of semi stolen England stuff in his big black swag bag. Chris said the items in there were not nicked and were simply souvenirs. They included a chavvy England white baseball cap, an England training jacket, Paul Robinson’s unworn goalkeepers shirt from the England - Switzerland game last Thursday, and another replica goalkeeping jersey that Chris was modelling this morning (see the team picture at the top of this review to see him in it - or look below to the left of Chappers in the red).
Here comes the (mildly) funny part of the story. Chris and Ben (the only people from Radio One invited btw) were booted out of the hotel at the players curfew, and then got the tube to meet up with Security Bear Paul at their Lisbon hotel base. The plan was then to get in the car and drive the hour back to the villa. However it didn’t quite go according to plan. Unbeknown to him, Paul had actually parked in a local shopping centre car park earlier, and not in the hotel car park. The shopping centre car park was locked and all the instructions on the outside in Portuguese, which non of them are fluent in (despite Dave’s help). Dave said granted “is there a campsite near here?” or “do you have space for a tent?” doesn’t really cut the mustard at that time of the morning. Eventually at about 2am the concierge guy came out from across the road and let Paul in the car park. He then got stuck in there though, with some Italian guy who couldn’t speak either English or Portuguese. They somehow got the car out of there after a long wait, and Chris eventually got to bed at half three this morning. He said it really was a bizarre night all round.
ENGLAND 4 CROATIA 2 - HOW ALED SAW IT:>>>>
As a diehard football fan from England it pains me to say it, but crop top wearing, self confessed non footy fan and (most importantly) Welshman Aled Jones...had free tickets to last night’s game. It also pains me even more to here Aled say he “didn’t mind if he didn’t go back”. I would have given anything to be at that match last night, anything. Aled said he did have a good time, but blamed his poor attention span for the lack of interest he was showing in the game. He missed Croatia’s first goal cos he was bored and texting someone (AFTER 5 MINUTES!!!), and was also busy checking out the stadium’s colour scheme while everyone else was watching the game and singing. Oh and that was another thing, Aled didn’t like the fans chanting at all. He said it was “childish” the way they kept heckling each other back and forth. Oh dear. Rachel had to keep hitting Aled to keep him interested, although I don’t believe his claim that the second half “really gripped” him.
Aled - The second half was really gripping and I was screaming with the best of them
(whole villa erupts in laughter)
Dave (laughs) - “I was screaming with the best of them”...well, it’s one heck of a quote Aled
You’ll be disappointed to find out that Aled didn’t wear his “I’m Welsh boyo” England shirt last night, although he did get recognised outside the ground along with Chris. Rachel said that it was hilarious and along with Dave insisted that Aled had it set up to meet those people there. Buzz Off today was not England related but a top tune nonetheless, Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me by U2 (number 2 back in June 1995). Dave said it wasn’t his favourite U2 song and buzzed in on 2:08. Rach followed suit on 2:44 and Aled surprisingly kept it on until the end (4:34), although the text vote was 72% Buzz On anyway.
JACK BAINE, ALED’S 2ND HOLIDAY REPORT AND EASY PORTUGUESEY:>>>>
Jack was back live in Lisbon after 7:30, bringing us details on yet more “pandemonium” there last night. This time it was the English fans celebrating and not the Portuguese, although it remains to be seen who will be celebrating this time on Friday morning. Jack couldn’t go to the match for tedious work commitments, so watched the game on a big screen in the centre of Lisbon, with about 500 other England fans. Jack said the crowd were edgy to begin with after Niko Kovac’s opener for the Croats, but as soon as Scholes put the ball in the net the place erupted. He said it was a superb atmosphere all round from then on, with unsurprising chants of “Rooney, Rooney, Rooney!!” ringing round until when he left to go back to his hotel at 1am (it’s work, not a drinking holiday). Y’see Jack had found one bar that stayed open especially after the game, which was packed full of around 2000 England fans trying to get served by 4 barmen. Like Chris, Jack is staying around until England get knocked out of the tournament, although we’re all still keeping our fingers crossed for that France - England final on July 1st. Chris said he’s sure the Portuguese would be rooting for England if that was to be the final, as they seem to hate the French. Well, who doesn’t? Chris said their hotel doorman and some bloke on the tube were slagging off the French before they played England last week (and yes, Chris really did get on the tube). Chris said he hopes that England do get to the final, and they won’t be far off if they keep playing like they did last night. Chris said it was just a pleasure to be there. It would be, especially if you weren’t paying (the jammy git).
Aled was back after 8:30 with his second Portugal Holiday report package, this week all entirely food based. Aled <s>lied</s> said he travelled down to the South Coast to chat to people about the local cuisine, and in particular find out about the Portuguese obsession with seafood.
Chris - I really think he’s bringing home the flava of an all expenses paid work trip
Dave - He’s like the Craig Doyle of Radio 1
Chris - Yeah, (Bo Selecta Craig David impression) Craaigg Doyle!!
Aled again put on his patronising, cheesy voice and delivered a very funny report, including him chatting to a Portuguese fisherman and tasting his seafood...mmm bellas fish. Aled said he wasn’t going to tell them, but he’s allergic to seafood and the last time he ate any, he went bright red and spent the next three days on the toilet.
Chris (at the end of the report in his Holiday voiceover voice) -
“Aled travelled by train to the seaside on a return basis, simply by purchasing a ticket from his local station. A meal for two in the Filange fish restaurant costs between 30 and 40 euros, based on 2 sharing, and a night’s accommodation the hotel d’ville starts at 20 euros per night, based on 6 adults sharing a single room...with breakfast not included. For more information on this or any of the other holiday destinations featured on the show, why not visit your local travel agent...who’ll be able to give you all the details you need”
Dave was back with today’s Easy Portuguesey, although with a slight difference. He had put down his phrase book and said he was now ready to experiment with the language as his confidence has grown...he was ready to make his own sentences. It doesn’t sound a very good idea on paper and it wasn’t either in reality. He taught us “We’re not going home” and “Victory will be ours on Thursday” ok, but Rhys’s Portuguese speaking half cousin Ben told Dave that his version of “Rooney has magic boots and is God” actually translated as “Rooney has a magic charger and is God”. Chris said Rooney must be the saviour of the England team’s mobile phones in that case. Dave said that on the whole, he thought his phrases were reasonably accurate today.
RHYS IN THE POOL:
(Rhys and Chappers enjoying the show)
After engineer Richard sorted out the echo settings that had been tampered with, Dave did his ready to ramble half time precursor and him and Chris then went alfresco, getting on the radio mics and going out poolside. On a little alfresco side note, Chris said he’d seen Alfresco’s room on the website. He said it was a private joke but it’s not really. He’s referring to the spelling error on this page at Radio One Online, which says “Alfred’s room” instead of “Aled’s room”. Chris said that it’s about the time the pool got used, cos let’s face it - it’s not really provided us with as much entertainment as we’d hoped for these past couple of weeks. For the cause then, ex producer and Portugal trip exec Rhys jumped in live on the air. Unfortunately though, he jumped in in his see through white Calvin Klein boxers, and not his swimming shorts. As Dave pointed this out, much hilarity broke out in the villa. Security bear Paul sounded like he was in stitches. A laughing Chris said he had to warn the competition winners as Rhys would be getting out of the pool opposite them.
Chris (laughing) - Urghh, I’ve gotta say Dave that’s one of the most disturbing sights I have ever seen
Dave agreed that it was absolutely gross and Chris said Rhys’s pants were so tight that he looked like Daffyd, the only gay in the village. He added that at least they could now put to bed those rumours about “minnow” Hughes - yep, hung like a wasp. Dave said he felt quite nauseous now...
Chris - Tracy our competition winner has collapsed, and Derek has collapsed, and Andy has had a stroke
(Villa audience, Dave and Rachel laugh)
Dave - Do you wanna rephrase that?
Chris - eh? (then realises)
(everyone laughs)
Dave said that Rhys looked like some kind of fat roman as he returned to the villa in just his towel. Chris called him Gutzilla. With Chris now rambling from the terrace overlooking the lagoon and Dave from the sun lounger, Aled (who was pressing the buttons) said that he could now pretend to be Chris Moyles, with Comedy Rachel as his sidekick. As soon as she started to speak he faded her out, so maybe he could be Chris Moyles after all.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
NICK a student in London who works at a theatre in Milton Keynes 2
GRAHAM a lorry driver from Londonderry 0
Daves Tedious Link
Nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl now fronts his own band and they’re called the Foo Fighters - Foo Fighters is a US air force term for UFO’s - UFO’s come from space - Space the band once did a roadshow with us in the pouring rain in Rhyl - “Rhyl” is one of the few words in the English language not to contain any vowels, another one of course being rhythm - Rhythm is a quality required by all drummers - Drummers in the world of Bernard Matthews are actually drumstick shaped bits of turkey - Turkey the country sadly didn’t qualify for this years European Championships in Portugal - Portugal is who we will play in the quarter finals on Thursday - Thursday is the only day of the week to begin with the letters “Th” - The initials TH in the world of Premiership football stand for Tottenham Hotspur - Tottenham Hotspur are a London club - London, or more precisely the London borough of Stockwell, was the birthplace of the actor Roger Moore, who starred as James Bond 007 - and if you remove the first zero from the numbers 007, you’re left simply with zero seven - Which links us to Zero 7 and Destiny
FLAW
*Rhyl has a vowel as it’s a Welsh word
DOM MEETS STEVE COOGAN AND JACKIE CHAN
Yep, he’s interviewing them both individually this morning about their new film Around The World In 80 Days. I’ve seen the trails and it looks rollocks, and Dominic (who’s seen the film) seemed to suggest the same. Dave suggested Dom do Easy Cantonesey with Jackie (cue the 7 year old apple crumble “pengoi combo” gag). Dom thinks Jackie’s lack of good English may also make for hilarious consequences in the interview. Make sure you find out if it does by tuning into tomorrow’s show from 7 on Radio One.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8018">> Moyles Live In Portugal - Tues June 22nd Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
