chrismoyles.net
- Mon Jun 28, 2004 9:23 am
#241956
1. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Scissor Sisters - Laura, 3. Pink feat William Orbit - Feel Good Time, 4. J Kwon - Tipsy, 5. BUZZ OFF - Vic Reeves & The Wonder Stuff - Dizzy, 6. The Strokes - 12:51 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Tomcraft - Loneliness, 8. Usher - Burn, 9. McFly - Obviously, 10. Eminem - Lose Yourself 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Fortune Faded, 12. Kelis - Trick Me, 13. Oasis - What's The Story Morning Glory (Live @ Glastonbury - 25/06/04), 14. Beyonce Knowles feat Jay-Z - Crazy In Love, 15. Nelly Furtado - Forca 8:30 NEWSBEAT 16. D. Kay & Epsilon feat Stamina MC - Barcelona, 17. Jamelia - See It In A Boy's Eyes, 18. No Doubt - It’s My Life, 19. The Cult - She Sells Sanctuary (Tedious Link), 20. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 21. Estelle - 1980, 22. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know (Live @ Glastonbury - 26/06/04), 23. Lou Reed - Satellite Of Love (Dab Hands Remix) 9:30 NEWSBEAT 24. The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started, 25. Nickelback - How You Remind Me, 26. The Hives - Walk Idiot Walk
They’re back then. Back in the UK, back in London and back on the air - all in the matter of six or seven hours. The big plane back from Portugal touched down home at roughly 11 o'clock last night, but a delay with the baggage meant that Chris, Dave and co didn’t leave Heathrow till around about half 12 this morning. Dave got to bed at 1:30 and was up again at half 4. Chris described his eyes as like soles in the snow this morning. Dave admitted that he was really knackered and couldn’t wait for the show to finish so that he could go back to bed - nice. Chris had a lie in till half 5 (rock a loo la) and before he went to bed at around quarter to two he watched a bit of the Glastonbury stuff he’d Sky Plussed over the weekend. This included sets from Muse, Basement Jaxx, Sir Macca and the mighty Oasis. Even me as the biggest Oasis fan you can imagine, will freely admit that they weren’t quite on top form on Friday night. Chris thought Liam was drunk as he didn’t think his voice was up to scratch on the live version of Morning Glory that he played. Chris said he was really impressed by Muse though, and he also thought Sir Paul played a blinder (Live and Let Die in particular). Quite a large proportion of the show was spent talking about Glastonbury actually. Chris seemed to say hello to people listening there every single link, which became very repetitive and dull. Dave thought it was a lot more likely that the people listening at Glasto would have been up all night, rather than having just got up. The texts coming in seemed to suggest otherwise though. All this Glasto chat got Rachel jealous. She’s a regular there and thinks it’s the best thing in the world. She said she couldn’t really complain as she was in a villa in Portugal with a private pool at the time, but she said she was still disappointed to have missed out on it. Chris confirmed that had the team not been in Portugal then they would have been at Glastonbury instead. As a Glastonbury virgin and someone who doesn’t have a burning desire to go, Chris wasn’t too fussed...especially as it was very muddy this year. His girlfriend Sophie was there working on Colin and Edith’s BBC3 show all week, and she told him that wellies were most definitely the footwear of choice. Chris said that that would be a problem for him as he’s not getting his Prada’s dirty for anyone. Another person yet to pop their Glastonbury cherry is Comedy Dave, who said he’d be interested in going if it wasn’t going to rain but wouldn’t be if it was. He thought the best thing to do would be to get a comprehensive weather forecast a couple of days beforehand and then decide whether to go or not. Chris kindly reminded Dave at this point that you do need to get your tickets a couple of months in advance.
Dave - Oh yeah. Good point..
(Vernon, Colin and Edith and Jo Whiley all at Glasto)
(For tons more pics and hundreds of great Glasto links click here)
(Or listen again to a wide range of Radio 1 shows from across the Glastonbury weekend here)
Chris said in some ways he’d missed being back in the studio at Radio 1 HQ. He said it was good to be butch on the mic again, and to have a bacon and sausage butty combo for Breakfast. It’s like torture listening to that when you’re in bed and all you’ve got is a box of cornflakes downstairs. *salivates* mmm bacon butties *salivates*. One thing that had changed when the team got back to Yalding House this morning was the fact that one of the doors into their office had completely vanished. The only way to get in now is by going through a door further along the corridor, next to which a new, modern Big Brother type room has been installed. Dave said it would confuse a sleepy person at ten past six in the morning. Chris played in clips from that legendary Fawlty Towers episode where Basil asks Manuel where his door has gone. The way Chris introduced them and played them in was brilliant, e.g by having Dave played by John Cleese. You really need to Listen Again to fully appreciate it. The listen again link is further down the review (it’s about an hour and 40 mins in).
CHART CHITTER CHAT WITH OLD WESLEY:>>>>
(Don’t forget you can listen again to this weeks Official Chart with Wes by clicking here)
The usually perky Wes was sounding unusually tired and flat for a second week running this morning. He had literally just propped his head up from lying in bed and was doing the chart recap from this position. Chris asked Wes to talk the listeners through his night wear, but to be honest there was nothing to talk through - he sleeps starkers. To prove this (although I'm not sure I want it proving), Chris asked Wes to slap part of his body. He slapped his knee..
Dave - It sounds too fleshy for a knee that Wes
Wes - What?
Chris - He’s got fat knees though has Wes
Dave - Has he?
Chris - He’s got excess flesh on the knee
Wes (to Dave) - Yeah, did you not know that?
Chris - That’s what we all call him at work, fat knee Wes
Wes thanked Chris for getting him into football. He said he watched the England game in the pub the other night and really enjoyed it, despite us losing. Chris told him it was now time to identify his team then, based on where he was born. Wes was born 20 minutes down the road from me in Salford, which is very much United land. I wouldn’t have expected Chris or Dave to know this, but having lived there for god knows how many years I thought at least Wes would have known that they were his local team. Yes Salford is a separate city to Manchester but United’s ground is on the Salford - Trafford border so is virtually in Salford. Chris was obviously not too keen on the idea of Wes becoming a red, so Wes said he’d set up his own football team in Salford instead. Hmm, I think he may have to learn the offside rule first. Butters said he was disappointed Come As You Are by Beverley Knight only charted at 9 yesterday, and he’s got reason to be disappointed as it’s a great record. The same sadly can’t be said about this weeks number 10, "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?" by The Girls Of FHM. Wes tried to explain who they were to Chris. I wouldn’t have bothered, all he needed to know was that the video is good. Number one this week is obviously Obviously by McFly (y’see what I did there...guh huh). Chris thinks it’s a great pop record and told Wes to introduce it. He crashed the vocals badly and proceeded to blame the bad phoneline. Chris told him to get his watch for the seven second intro. Wes said he would but it was across the room, he was naked and he’d forgot to close the curtains last night. Chris said he didn’t need to make excuses, he knew he was a perv. On next weeks chart show there is an Usher platinum disc up for grabs. It’s for his album Confessions and will have the name of whoever wins it engraved onto it. Chris said that the prize was a bit poor when compared to some of their recent ones, like giving away trips to see bands abroad...
Wes - Well you know Usher phoned me up and said...*puts on awful American accent*...hey Wes, I got my platinum disc, do you wanna give it away?”...*normal voice*...and I was like alright Usher, if you want me to..
Dave - Is he German?
(Dave laughs)
FLIRTING WITH CARRIE:
So this is week 2 of Carrie’s cover for Juliette, who’s still busy eating strawberries and cream underneath an umbrella at Wimbledon. It’s the first time Chris has seen Carrie in ages, as when she used to read sport on the odd afternoon show (and that’s going back a bit) she was always upstairs in Newsbeat with Georgina. Chris had forgotten what she looked like and was very impressed with what he saw this morning, face to face in Studio 3. He said that she was looking foxy, although not as in Doctor Foxy as that would be ridiculous (on a little side note Chris played that Johnny Vaughan jingle again today - the one that I love). He didn’t take long to check Carrie out, as he’d already noticed her white thong by the 7:00 bulletin. Unsurprisingly she sounded slightly embarrassed but Dom jumped in to say that he too was wearing a thong this morning. He hadn’t really thought it through properly though and said that he was wearing a brown one, an unfortunate choice of colour if ever there was one. Dom’s intervention didn’t put predator Moyles off his prey though. After every bulletin (or even during them) there was some sort of sexual innuendo or flirting going on, although it has to be said that it was entirely one way. The fact it takes up so much of this review is a clear indication of how much of the show it took up too. I just take it Moyles is yet to see Sophie since he got back. He seemed erm...frustrated. He said that Carrie looked more and more like a secretary from the Benny Hill show as the morning went on, in her sexy spectacles. There isn’t any Internet pics of her (oi not like that) so the best I’ve been able to get is her on the webcam today (that’s Carrie in the white)...
Just to take the topic of conversation away from her thong or cleavage for a moment, Chris asked Carrie what she thought of Wayne Rooney’s future at Everton. She said he’ll probably be gone within the fortnight, which outraged Dave. Vitty wouldn’t comment on what Carrie referred to as Everton’s “freak season” two years ago (when they finished 7th). He also refused to talk about the Wayne Rooney situation as he said he didn’t want to fuel the rumour mill. It didn’t take long for frisky Chris to get back to pestering an uncomfortable Carrie again. He said he couldn’t help it, he’d seen her white thong and her tight white top was showing off her breasts beautifully.
Rachel - Chris!!!
Chris - Listen, I’m sorry..
Dave - This is borderline harassment!!
Chris said it was a compliment and Carrie said it was ok, she wasn’t offended. Rachel told her she didn’t have to put up with this though and Chris then turned on Rach in a furious rage. He told her that she was looking like a hound this morning and said that at least Carrie had made an effort with her hair, rather than using chopsticks to straighten it. Rach said she’d only had three hours sleep but Chris wasn’t having that as an excuse. He said she looked like a bloke today. Dave said that Carrie was a serious sports news journo here to do a job of work, and not be made uncomfortable by an overweight man commenting on her chest. Carrie is single and Chris went in for the kill. Dave said that he felt sick, although that might have been due to something else (more on that later)...
Chris (to Carrie) - What sort of men do you go for?
Dave (interrupting) - Fat ones?!!
Chris - Shut up
(all laugh)
***Out of nothing...***
Dom (to Chris) - Would you like to mouth kiss Carrie?
Chris - Pardon?
(all laugh)
Dom - Is that what you’re leading up to here?
Chris - What are you trying to say?
Dom - I’m saying that perhaps you should. It’d be good for the ratings and good for the trail
(Dave laughs)
Thereafter followed a hilarious and completely bizarre link featuring chat about Russian Internet brides (Saskia), Dominic’s marriage, BBC1, legal Lithuanians, passports as birthday presents, Jules sleeping with Chris (not really) and Chris trying to get Carrie to sleep with him (really). You need to Listen Again to fully appreciate it for yourself (around 2 hours 40 in - available till Monday July 5th).
MORE TALES FROM LAST NIGHT:>>>>
As you will know if you listened to the show or read my reviews last week, Dominic and his wife went over to Portugal at the weekend for a little break with the Chris and the team. Slaphead Byrne managed to burn (guh huh) his head out there and was peeling like a potato on the flight back. He said the air conditioning on the plane was just very dry. Dave said he was shocked and appalled to wake up on the plane last night and find Aled applying dove body silk to Chappers’ arm. Chappers was lapping it up too, he wasn’t even objecting. Aled said that he got a real dirty look from Dave when he then offered some of the body silk to him. Chris nipped in and said that that was because cleanliness is next to laziness when it comes to Dave. Dave said that that was untrue and said he’d actually had a shower today, contrary to popular belief...
Dave - and I just don’t believe in needing Body Silk for men
Carrie - You stick to your vaseline eh Dave?
(all laugh)
Dave - I don’t use vaseline either Carrie, now that you ask. I’m more of an au naturale type of person
Dom (who is another one scared of flying) was getting worried during the flight when the pilot came over the speakers and started off by saying “It’s not the best news in the world folks...”. He almost had a heart attack. Dave was also left less than confident when the pilot misdirected the passengers to their headphone jacks. Dave said he was just hopeful that the pilot didn’t muck up any of his buttons up the front...and thankfully for us all he didn’t. Otherwise it would have been Scott Mills for Breakfast this morning. As well as Mr Mark *zero tolerance level* Chapman going into a sulk about the 90 minute wait for baggage reclaimer, Dave was also left a little unhappy.
Dave - BA last night in the world of baggage reclaim stood for bugger all
(all laugh)
Rachel - Dave!!
Chris and Dave had a Guess Who from the airport last night. Dom and Carrie played, Dom didn’t see this mystery celebrity cos him and his wife took all their bags as hand luggage and didn’t have to wait for baggage reclaimer. It was Howard Donald from Take That, who had just come back from doing a bit of DJ’ing in Germany. Chris and Dave said hello and chatted to him for a bit..
Chris - and he said that he loves the show and especially likes One Road Travel
Dom - Does he? Thanks very much
Chris - No, he’s never heard the show in his life
(hits D. Kay & Epsilon track)
Buzz Off this morning was another corker - Dizzy by Vic Reeves and The Wonderstuff (number one in October 1991). No votes came in at all from the team (not even Aled) and the text vote was 76.65% Buzz On. Chris said pardon his language but he bloody loves The Wonderstuff. Dave agreed that they were a fantastic band. Other stuff today included the introduction of a new show bed that I’ve heard quite a bit on a few of my local commercial stations. It would be better as an instrumental and needs looping, but it was sounding good nonetheless. Chris also slagged off Radio One this morning for the pointless trails that he has to play about his show and the general daytime line up. He thinks they’re stupid and doesn’t see the point in them, especially as they end the trail with the show order all jumbled up again. Chris said stuff that, all the audience need to know is that if they have a rajar diary, tick Chris Moyles. Please, go on you know you want to. Other complaints today included one with online and two with the fact that some pillock had deleted both the Tedious Link theme and the London Marathon theme from the show’s jingle pages. Chris said heads are gonna roll when he runs round the building screaming and shouting at ten. Especially about the Tedious theme (even though Rach found it with about 30 seconds to spare), as that is an integral part of the show that station controller Andy Parfitt describes as “an appointment to listen". Chris also plugged Sport Relief and The Moyles Mile yet again, the website is here and the Moyles Mile is on Saturday July 10th at Roundhay Park in Leeds. You know all there is to know about that item by now, and if not then check back in the archives by clicking the link at the top of the page.
DAVE MEDICAL UPDATE
He has a sore ear and he thinks he has picked up an eye infection from the swimming pool in Portugal, which he plans to sort out at the doctors today.
Chris - erm, I have an “i”Pod
Dave - That’s not gonna help me
Chris - Right OK
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
TOM a chrismoyles.net messageboard member who works for a travel company in Weymouth 2
DAVID training to be a corgi engineer in Broadstairs 0
Daves Tedious Link
James Come Home - Come home is what we’ve done after our two and a half week exile in a Portuguese villa - Villa in the world of football are managed by David O’Leary - David O’Leary shares the same surname as Dermot O’Leary - Dermot O’Leary shaves his head - Head & Shoulders is a famous brand of shampoo - Shampoo had a 1994 hit with Trouble - Trouble rhymes with rubble, which is the surname of Flintstones characters Barney and Betty - If you swap the E in Betty for a U you get butty, as in bacon butty which was a breakfast treat for us this morning and something that we’ve been missing - Missing You was a 1984 hit for John Waite - John Waite shares the same surname as Terry Waite the former hostage - The word “hostage” nearly rhymes with ostrich, which is the fastest of all running birds - Birds that are in danger might be kept in a sanctuary - and if the sanctuary was run by a woman on a commercial basis, I suppose you could say that she would be selling sanctuary - Which links us to The Cult and She Sells Sanctuary
JO WHILEY KNICKER FLASH:>>>>
If you’re like me and have watched a lot of the weekend’s Glastonbury coverage on TV, you’ll know that Jo Whiley was looking very much the piece of vintage bintage that she is on BBC2. I’ve got to say Lauren Laverne was looking nice too, and Mark Radcliffe was just a comedy genius. Back to Jo though, and there were rumours circulating on text today that Jo did a Basic Instinct style leg crossover at one point of the weekend...resulting in a knicker flash. With the team out in Portugal, no one saw it unfortunately...
Chris - She never flashes her knickers to us
Dave - No, no matter how many times you ask
Chris - The only way I get to see those knickers is by climbing that massive tree outside her house and holding them binoculars when she’s getting into the shower
(Dom and Dave laugh)
Dave (still laughing) - Why would she get in the shower with knickers on? That’d be ridiculous!!!
Chris - Because she knows I’m watching. You know she compromises, she leaves something on...you know what I mean?
Dave - mmm, just to tease you
Jo (laughing & interrupting) - Will you stop it now!!
Chris (sounding shocked) - Oh Hi Jo
Dave - *cough*
Jo was still on site at Glastonbury and interrupted as Chris headed for the pips, saying that she couldn’t think of any more embarrassing than doing that live on national telly and then hearing about it for the first time live on national radio...
Jo - What colour knickers was I wearing?
Chris - Apparently black ones
(all laugh - including Jo)
Jo - Well at least I was wearing some!!!
Chris - Oh! What a thought! (pips play)
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=147835#147835">> Monday June 28th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
They’re back then. Back in the UK, back in London and back on the air - all in the matter of six or seven hours. The big plane back from Portugal touched down home at roughly 11 o'clock last night, but a delay with the baggage meant that Chris, Dave and co didn’t leave Heathrow till around about half 12 this morning. Dave got to bed at 1:30 and was up again at half 4. Chris described his eyes as like soles in the snow this morning. Dave admitted that he was really knackered and couldn’t wait for the show to finish so that he could go back to bed - nice. Chris had a lie in till half 5 (rock a loo la) and before he went to bed at around quarter to two he watched a bit of the Glastonbury stuff he’d Sky Plussed over the weekend. This included sets from Muse, Basement Jaxx, Sir Macca and the mighty Oasis. Even me as the biggest Oasis fan you can imagine, will freely admit that they weren’t quite on top form on Friday night. Chris thought Liam was drunk as he didn’t think his voice was up to scratch on the live version of Morning Glory that he played. Chris said he was really impressed by Muse though, and he also thought Sir Paul played a blinder (Live and Let Die in particular). Quite a large proportion of the show was spent talking about Glastonbury actually. Chris seemed to say hello to people listening there every single link, which became very repetitive and dull. Dave thought it was a lot more likely that the people listening at Glasto would have been up all night, rather than having just got up. The texts coming in seemed to suggest otherwise though. All this Glasto chat got Rachel jealous. She’s a regular there and thinks it’s the best thing in the world. She said she couldn’t really complain as she was in a villa in Portugal with a private pool at the time, but she said she was still disappointed to have missed out on it. Chris confirmed that had the team not been in Portugal then they would have been at Glastonbury instead. As a Glastonbury virgin and someone who doesn’t have a burning desire to go, Chris wasn’t too fussed...especially as it was very muddy this year. His girlfriend Sophie was there working on Colin and Edith’s BBC3 show all week, and she told him that wellies were most definitely the footwear of choice. Chris said that that would be a problem for him as he’s not getting his Prada’s dirty for anyone. Another person yet to pop their Glastonbury cherry is Comedy Dave, who said he’d be interested in going if it wasn’t going to rain but wouldn’t be if it was. He thought the best thing to do would be to get a comprehensive weather forecast a couple of days beforehand and then decide whether to go or not. Chris kindly reminded Dave at this point that you do need to get your tickets a couple of months in advance.
Dave - Oh yeah. Good point..
(Vernon, Colin and Edith and Jo Whiley all at Glasto)
(For tons more pics and hundreds of great Glasto links click here)
(Or listen again to a wide range of Radio 1 shows from across the Glastonbury weekend here)
Chris said in some ways he’d missed being back in the studio at Radio 1 HQ. He said it was good to be butch on the mic again, and to have a bacon and sausage butty combo for Breakfast. It’s like torture listening to that when you’re in bed and all you’ve got is a box of cornflakes downstairs. *salivates* mmm bacon butties *salivates*. One thing that had changed when the team got back to Yalding House this morning was the fact that one of the doors into their office had completely vanished. The only way to get in now is by going through a door further along the corridor, next to which a new, modern Big Brother type room has been installed. Dave said it would confuse a sleepy person at ten past six in the morning. Chris played in clips from that legendary Fawlty Towers episode where Basil asks Manuel where his door has gone. The way Chris introduced them and played them in was brilliant, e.g by having Dave played by John Cleese. You really need to Listen Again to fully appreciate it. The listen again link is further down the review (it’s about an hour and 40 mins in).
CHART CHITTER CHAT WITH OLD WESLEY:>>>>
(Don’t forget you can listen again to this weeks Official Chart with Wes by clicking here)
The usually perky Wes was sounding unusually tired and flat for a second week running this morning. He had literally just propped his head up from lying in bed and was doing the chart recap from this position. Chris asked Wes to talk the listeners through his night wear, but to be honest there was nothing to talk through - he sleeps starkers. To prove this (although I'm not sure I want it proving), Chris asked Wes to slap part of his body. He slapped his knee..
Dave - It sounds too fleshy for a knee that Wes
Wes - What?
Chris - He’s got fat knees though has Wes
Dave - Has he?
Chris - He’s got excess flesh on the knee
Wes (to Dave) - Yeah, did you not know that?
Chris - That’s what we all call him at work, fat knee Wes
Wes thanked Chris for getting him into football. He said he watched the England game in the pub the other night and really enjoyed it, despite us losing. Chris told him it was now time to identify his team then, based on where he was born. Wes was born 20 minutes down the road from me in Salford, which is very much United land. I wouldn’t have expected Chris or Dave to know this, but having lived there for god knows how many years I thought at least Wes would have known that they were his local team. Yes Salford is a separate city to Manchester but United’s ground is on the Salford - Trafford border so is virtually in Salford. Chris was obviously not too keen on the idea of Wes becoming a red, so Wes said he’d set up his own football team in Salford instead. Hmm, I think he may have to learn the offside rule first. Butters said he was disappointed Come As You Are by Beverley Knight only charted at 9 yesterday, and he’s got reason to be disappointed as it’s a great record. The same sadly can’t be said about this weeks number 10, "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?" by The Girls Of FHM. Wes tried to explain who they were to Chris. I wouldn’t have bothered, all he needed to know was that the video is good. Number one this week is obviously Obviously by McFly (y’see what I did there...guh huh). Chris thinks it’s a great pop record and told Wes to introduce it. He crashed the vocals badly and proceeded to blame the bad phoneline. Chris told him to get his watch for the seven second intro. Wes said he would but it was across the room, he was naked and he’d forgot to close the curtains last night. Chris said he didn’t need to make excuses, he knew he was a perv. On next weeks chart show there is an Usher platinum disc up for grabs. It’s for his album Confessions and will have the name of whoever wins it engraved onto it. Chris said that the prize was a bit poor when compared to some of their recent ones, like giving away trips to see bands abroad...
Wes - Well you know Usher phoned me up and said...*puts on awful American accent*...hey Wes, I got my platinum disc, do you wanna give it away?”...*normal voice*...and I was like alright Usher, if you want me to..
Dave - Is he German?
(Dave laughs)
FLIRTING WITH CARRIE:
So this is week 2 of Carrie’s cover for Juliette, who’s still busy eating strawberries and cream underneath an umbrella at Wimbledon. It’s the first time Chris has seen Carrie in ages, as when she used to read sport on the odd afternoon show (and that’s going back a bit) she was always upstairs in Newsbeat with Georgina. Chris had forgotten what she looked like and was very impressed with what he saw this morning, face to face in Studio 3. He said that she was looking foxy, although not as in Doctor Foxy as that would be ridiculous (on a little side note Chris played that Johnny Vaughan jingle again today - the one that I love). He didn’t take long to check Carrie out, as he’d already noticed her white thong by the 7:00 bulletin. Unsurprisingly she sounded slightly embarrassed but Dom jumped in to say that he too was wearing a thong this morning. He hadn’t really thought it through properly though and said that he was wearing a brown one, an unfortunate choice of colour if ever there was one. Dom’s intervention didn’t put predator Moyles off his prey though. After every bulletin (or even during them) there was some sort of sexual innuendo or flirting going on, although it has to be said that it was entirely one way. The fact it takes up so much of this review is a clear indication of how much of the show it took up too. I just take it Moyles is yet to see Sophie since he got back. He seemed erm...frustrated. He said that Carrie looked more and more like a secretary from the Benny Hill show as the morning went on, in her sexy spectacles. There isn’t any Internet pics of her (oi not like that) so the best I’ve been able to get is her on the webcam today (that’s Carrie in the white)...
Just to take the topic of conversation away from her thong or cleavage for a moment, Chris asked Carrie what she thought of Wayne Rooney’s future at Everton. She said he’ll probably be gone within the fortnight, which outraged Dave. Vitty wouldn’t comment on what Carrie referred to as Everton’s “freak season” two years ago (when they finished 7th). He also refused to talk about the Wayne Rooney situation as he said he didn’t want to fuel the rumour mill. It didn’t take long for frisky Chris to get back to pestering an uncomfortable Carrie again. He said he couldn’t help it, he’d seen her white thong and her tight white top was showing off her breasts beautifully.
Rachel - Chris!!!
Chris - Listen, I’m sorry..
Dave - This is borderline harassment!!
Chris said it was a compliment and Carrie said it was ok, she wasn’t offended. Rachel told her she didn’t have to put up with this though and Chris then turned on Rach in a furious rage. He told her that she was looking like a hound this morning and said that at least Carrie had made an effort with her hair, rather than using chopsticks to straighten it. Rach said she’d only had three hours sleep but Chris wasn’t having that as an excuse. He said she looked like a bloke today. Dave said that Carrie was a serious sports news journo here to do a job of work, and not be made uncomfortable by an overweight man commenting on her chest. Carrie is single and Chris went in for the kill. Dave said that he felt sick, although that might have been due to something else (more on that later)...
Chris (to Carrie) - What sort of men do you go for?
Dave (interrupting) - Fat ones?!!
Chris - Shut up
(all laugh)
***Out of nothing...***
Dom (to Chris) - Would you like to mouth kiss Carrie?
Chris - Pardon?
(all laugh)
Dom - Is that what you’re leading up to here?
Chris - What are you trying to say?
Dom - I’m saying that perhaps you should. It’d be good for the ratings and good for the trail
(Dave laughs)
Thereafter followed a hilarious and completely bizarre link featuring chat about Russian Internet brides (Saskia), Dominic’s marriage, BBC1, legal Lithuanians, passports as birthday presents, Jules sleeping with Chris (not really) and Chris trying to get Carrie to sleep with him (really). You need to Listen Again to fully appreciate it for yourself (around 2 hours 40 in - available till Monday July 5th).
MORE TALES FROM LAST NIGHT:>>>>
As you will know if you listened to the show or read my reviews last week, Dominic and his wife went over to Portugal at the weekend for a little break with the Chris and the team. Slaphead Byrne managed to burn (guh huh) his head out there and was peeling like a potato on the flight back. He said the air conditioning on the plane was just very dry. Dave said he was shocked and appalled to wake up on the plane last night and find Aled applying dove body silk to Chappers’ arm. Chappers was lapping it up too, he wasn’t even objecting. Aled said that he got a real dirty look from Dave when he then offered some of the body silk to him. Chris nipped in and said that that was because cleanliness is next to laziness when it comes to Dave. Dave said that that was untrue and said he’d actually had a shower today, contrary to popular belief...
Dave - and I just don’t believe in needing Body Silk for men
Carrie - You stick to your vaseline eh Dave?
(all laugh)
Dave - I don’t use vaseline either Carrie, now that you ask. I’m more of an au naturale type of person
Dom (who is another one scared of flying) was getting worried during the flight when the pilot came over the speakers and started off by saying “It’s not the best news in the world folks...”. He almost had a heart attack. Dave was also left less than confident when the pilot misdirected the passengers to their headphone jacks. Dave said he was just hopeful that the pilot didn’t muck up any of his buttons up the front...and thankfully for us all he didn’t. Otherwise it would have been Scott Mills for Breakfast this morning. As well as Mr Mark *zero tolerance level* Chapman going into a sulk about the 90 minute wait for baggage reclaimer, Dave was also left a little unhappy.
Dave - BA last night in the world of baggage reclaim stood for bugger all
(all laugh)
Rachel - Dave!!
Chris and Dave had a Guess Who from the airport last night. Dom and Carrie played, Dom didn’t see this mystery celebrity cos him and his wife took all their bags as hand luggage and didn’t have to wait for baggage reclaimer. It was Howard Donald from Take That, who had just come back from doing a bit of DJ’ing in Germany. Chris and Dave said hello and chatted to him for a bit..
Chris - and he said that he loves the show and especially likes One Road Travel
Dom - Does he? Thanks very much
Chris - No, he’s never heard the show in his life
(hits D. Kay & Epsilon track)
Buzz Off this morning was another corker - Dizzy by Vic Reeves and The Wonderstuff (number one in October 1991). No votes came in at all from the team (not even Aled) and the text vote was 76.65% Buzz On. Chris said pardon his language but he bloody loves The Wonderstuff. Dave agreed that they were a fantastic band. Other stuff today included the introduction of a new show bed that I’ve heard quite a bit on a few of my local commercial stations. It would be better as an instrumental and needs looping, but it was sounding good nonetheless. Chris also slagged off Radio One this morning for the pointless trails that he has to play about his show and the general daytime line up. He thinks they’re stupid and doesn’t see the point in them, especially as they end the trail with the show order all jumbled up again. Chris said stuff that, all the audience need to know is that if they have a rajar diary, tick Chris Moyles. Please, go on you know you want to. Other complaints today included one with online and two with the fact that some pillock had deleted both the Tedious Link theme and the London Marathon theme from the show’s jingle pages. Chris said heads are gonna roll when he runs round the building screaming and shouting at ten. Especially about the Tedious theme (even though Rach found it with about 30 seconds to spare), as that is an integral part of the show that station controller Andy Parfitt describes as “an appointment to listen". Chris also plugged Sport Relief and The Moyles Mile yet again, the website is here and the Moyles Mile is on Saturday July 10th at Roundhay Park in Leeds. You know all there is to know about that item by now, and if not then check back in the archives by clicking the link at the top of the page.
DAVE MEDICAL UPDATE
He has a sore ear and he thinks he has picked up an eye infection from the swimming pool in Portugal, which he plans to sort out at the doctors today.
Chris - erm, I have an “i”Pod
Dave - That’s not gonna help me
Chris - Right OK
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
TOM a chrismoyles.net messageboard member who works for a travel company in Weymouth 2
DAVID training to be a corgi engineer in Broadstairs 0
Daves Tedious Link
James Come Home - Come home is what we’ve done after our two and a half week exile in a Portuguese villa - Villa in the world of football are managed by David O’Leary - David O’Leary shares the same surname as Dermot O’Leary - Dermot O’Leary shaves his head - Head & Shoulders is a famous brand of shampoo - Shampoo had a 1994 hit with Trouble - Trouble rhymes with rubble, which is the surname of Flintstones characters Barney and Betty - If you swap the E in Betty for a U you get butty, as in bacon butty which was a breakfast treat for us this morning and something that we’ve been missing - Missing You was a 1984 hit for John Waite - John Waite shares the same surname as Terry Waite the former hostage - The word “hostage” nearly rhymes with ostrich, which is the fastest of all running birds - Birds that are in danger might be kept in a sanctuary - and if the sanctuary was run by a woman on a commercial basis, I suppose you could say that she would be selling sanctuary - Which links us to The Cult and She Sells Sanctuary
JO WHILEY KNICKER FLASH:>>>>
If you’re like me and have watched a lot of the weekend’s Glastonbury coverage on TV, you’ll know that Jo Whiley was looking very much the piece of vintage bintage that she is on BBC2. I’ve got to say Lauren Laverne was looking nice too, and Mark Radcliffe was just a comedy genius. Back to Jo though, and there were rumours circulating on text today that Jo did a Basic Instinct style leg crossover at one point of the weekend...resulting in a knicker flash. With the team out in Portugal, no one saw it unfortunately...
Chris - She never flashes her knickers to us
Dave - No, no matter how many times you ask
Chris - The only way I get to see those knickers is by climbing that massive tree outside her house and holding them binoculars when she’s getting into the shower
(Dom and Dave laugh)
Dave (still laughing) - Why would she get in the shower with knickers on? That’d be ridiculous!!!
Chris - Because she knows I’m watching. You know she compromises, she leaves something on...you know what I mean?
Dave - mmm, just to tease you
Jo (laughing & interrupting) - Will you stop it now!!
Chris (sounding shocked) - Oh Hi Jo
Dave - *cough*
Jo was still on site at Glastonbury and interrupted as Chris headed for the pips, saying that she couldn’t think of any more embarrassing than doing that live on national telly and then hearing about it for the first time live on national radio...
Jo - What colour knickers was I wearing?
Chris - Apparently black ones
(all laugh - including Jo)
Jo - Well at least I was wearing some!!!
Chris - Oh! What a thought! (pips play)
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=147835#147835">> Monday June 28th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
