The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241960
1. Maroon 5 - This Love 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Nelly Furtado - Powerless, 3. Keane - Everybody's Changing, 4. Razorlight - Golden Touch, 5. BUZZ OFF - Enigma - Return To Innocence, 6. D12 - My Band 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Good Charlotte - Girls & Boys, 8. Kelis - Trick Me, 9. Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending, 10. Usher - Burn 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Shy FX & T Power feat Di - Shake Ur Body, 12. Jamelia - See It In A Boy's Eyes, 13. Lou Reed - Satellite Of Love (Dab Hands Remix), 14. Damien Rice - Cannonball 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 16. Sugababes - Hole In The Head, 17. Coldplay - Clocks, 18. Shaznay Lewis - Never Felt Like This Before, 19. KLF - 3AM Eternal (Tedious Link), 20. Blink 182 - Down, 21. FYA - Too Hot, 22. The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started, 23. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out 9:30 NEWSBEAT 24. Shakedown - At Night, 25. Outkast - Roses

Chris had a major complaint to make about Studio 3 this morning. He said it wasn’t just specific to today though - it’s becoming a regular occurrence each and every morning. It’s not the microphones, the computer equipment or the playlist (although let’s face it, it should have been that)...it’s actually the disgusting smell of marmite that’s stinking the place out. It’s coming courtesy of Rachel and Dave’s Breakfast - marmite on toast. Now if you consider all the possible food they could have for brekky - cereal, bacon/sausage butties etc, it makes it even more unbelievable. Dave said Chris was just a fussy eater but he said he wasn’t, he just didn’t want to eat something that looked like and stunk of arse treacle. Hear hear. Rach told Chris she thinks he has sensitive nasal passages, but he quite rightly told her she was the one in the wrong for eating marmite, which he compared to both gunge on Noel’s House Party and baby sick (good morning if you’re just waking up). Chris began the show with more Moyles Mile and Sport Relief chat, what with it being just 8 days until the big event in Roundhay Park in Leeds. As well as that, there is of course The Mills Mile taking place in Southampton, featuring Mr *goood mornin* himself, Scott Mills. Chris compared himself and Scott to the 118 runners (is he blind) and confirmed that if you haven’t already registered online @ http://www.sportrelief.com, then there will be a chance to sponsor either himself or Mills via text message next week, with proceedings of course going to Sport Relief. The races all begin at 1pm next Saturday, meaning that Dave and Chappers will be beginning their show by running a mile on the treadmills in the world famous Radio One Live Lounge. Rachel has come up with some obscure excuse to get out of it but Chris, Aled and Greyhead will all be up in Leeds running for charidee. Chris plans to have a couple of beers and some pasta the night before (just like he did before The Great North Run) and then go out and get absolutely smashed on the Saturday night. Btw, he is still sticking to his plan of running the race and then running back to walk the remainder of it with his ill dad, who we all know is only four weeks out of hospital after a quadruple heart bypass. It’ll be good publicity and make a nice photo opportunity according to Dave. Chris will be linking up live with Vernon and Chappers and Dave on Saturday, and I wouldn’t bet against there being a piece on him on BBC One’s actual Sport Relief coverage that night from 7pm. That’s not been confirmed though ladies and gents.
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Tonight is Big Brother eviction night, with Marco the favourite to get the chop ahead of Nadia and Michelle. The press conference with him has been put back to tomorrow, that’s due to the fact that the police want to speak to him tonight about the brawl t’other week. Aled will be attending said press conference so Chris, Dave and people on the text were coming up with some possible questions for Aled to ask Marco:
- Are you a psycho?
- Have you ever been told before that you look like an alien?
- Are you gay?
- If so, why can’t you dance?
- Do you want to apply for Scott Mills’s campman?
- Can Comedy Dave gaffer tape your hands together to stop your chimp like clapping?
To catch the results just make sure your listening to the show on Monday morning from 7 (when it will incidentally be 6 months on the air in the mornings - happy anniversary in advance Chris). Buzz Off today was from one of Chris’s big 1994 chart hits CD’s, although Dave said thankfully not Love Is All Around by Wet Wet Wet (which Chris started the intro to). Dave didn’t think much of Chris’s actual choice either - Return To Innocence by Enigma, which reached number three in January 1994. Dave called it muck and said he hates world music with it’s stupid drums and inaudible vocals (cue Rachel laughing). Chris said it was a beautiful song with a wonderful melody. Aled agreed too:
Aled (to Dave) - You’re just not cultured
Dave - I’m just not African
(Rach laughs)

Vitty was first to buzz on 40 seconds, Rach next on 1:07 and Aled voted bang on the end at 3:59. The text vote was 60% Buzz On, although Dave said the texters were wrong. Chris asked him what he would have preferred from 1994 then - and ran through his CD stopping at Whigfield, Pato Banton and C J Lewis. Dave said granted, he had a point. Other music in the show today included Damien Rice, Outkast, D12 and Avril Lavigne, plus Everybody's Changing by Noel Gallagher’s favourite new band - Keane. Chris plugged Vernon’s show tomorrow as he’s giving away a signed Glastonbury thing that includes signatures from Keane. Chris went into his usual funny Vernon Kay *oooh Hollyoaks* Bo Selecta Mel B type voice...
Chris (as Vernon) - Oooh, I’m on Radio One...it’s great innit!! Oh I love it. I’m also on T4 at exactly the same time. But don’t ever mention that because one’s pre recorded and one’s live and I’m not allowed to say which one *coughs* T4!! *coughs*
(starts Razorlight as Dave laughs)


ALED’S RAT UPDATE:
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Day whatever it is now and yep, the rat is still in Aled’s flat. Jones blamed the rat’s recent non appearance on the fact that he is camera shy, what with there being webcams in place all over the flat to catch out the rat. Dave had some bad news for Aled - rats seldom live on their own. Despite his tendency to name teddies and lego robots, Aled is yet to name the rat - although Splinter would be a good choice (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reference). Chris mistakenly referred to Splinter as Striker at one point, which Dave found very funny indeed. Aled has now also bought a rat flap to stick on the U Bend in his loo (which remember is where the rat appeared last week) and has also rather worryingly set up a live Ratcam feed to his flat @ Radio One ONLINE. You can access it here but I wouldn’t, it’s just a two minute loop of an empty cage in his flat. Best of all today though was Chris playing out Aled’s re recording of Roland Rat’s Rat Rapping. It needs hearing to be believing - catch it roughly an hour into today’s show via Friday’s Listen Again (please bear in mind you need a Real One player with this link and remember you can only access the Aled track here until Friday 9th July). Chris guests on the track which features of course the immortal lyrics:
”Scratch, yeah....Aled rapping!!
Scratch, yeah....Aled rapping!!”


ALED’S FLAT IDOL DAY 3 AND JIM BROOMAN:>>>>
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Today is Day 3 then of the hunt to find two new flatmates for Aled, with six more potential candidates coming under his scrutiny. Only two actually made it through in the end - David a camp hairdresser from North Wales (no surprise there then) and Heidi Jane, a 21 year old postie who sounded well fit. The other four to go were Pat, a footy mad 23 year old from Essex, Lion Leo Lee from Liverpool (don’t ask), patronising 24 year old Abbie and 21 year old Jodie from Basingstoke, who enjoys fun, eating and films. She said she could watch Kill Bill with Aled while she munched away.
Chris - I must admit I quite fancy sitting watching Kill Bill with her munching
(Dave laughs)

The six contestants through to next week then are David and Heidi Jane from today, plus yesterday’s winners James, Sarah, Roxanne and Paul. The team will begin whittling them down further on Monday’s show.
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If you read yesterday’s review you’ll no doubt know that Chris was telling Dominic all about this amazing auction TV channel he’s found on Sky that’s perfect for bargains. In fact it’s not an auction channel - the idea is to “chase” the items. Chris didn’t originally give the name but did today - it’s Chase-it tv (y’see - Sky channel 666). Dom said he so wants a job on there and he did a great impression of a blue biro being valued at £1 billion pounds and then being sold for just 12 pence. Chris said they should try and get Dom his own slot on Chase-it tv and Aled his own slot on bid up tv, and then put them head to head in a ratings war. Chris looked up his favourite Chase-it presenter Jim Brooman on the t’interweb, only to go and find that he studied Performing Arts at Kidderminster College for 5 years. Rachel got very excited (as you may expect) as she went to Kidderminster College too. Chris said she’d probably slept with him. She told him to shut up. It also came as no surprise to Chris that Jim is a local radio DJ, as his accent is so cheesy that it’s difficult to dictate any sort of Kiddyminster accent in there.
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(Jim Brooman - for more click here)

CARRIE - THE LAST GOODBYE:>>>>
With Wimbledon finishing over the weekend, Juliette will be back on the show on Monday morning and that meant today was Carrie Davis’s last day reading the sport. She said she’s had a lot of fun these past two weeks and said that yes, Chris was a lot better looking in real life (ha ha good one). She’s now off to work in BBC London for the next three months, which includes roles on both local TV and local radio. Chris wished her all the best (he said she’ll need it) and reminded everyone that when you’re watching her on TV (and remember you still can outside of London via your Sky red button)...she’s the one who wears the pink and white thongs. If you thought Chris would lay off distracting Carrie on her final day though then you couldn’t have been more wrong. He decided to run through a couple of sound effects CD’s during her bulletins actually, treating us to pub atmos, helicopters, motorbikes, fruit machine effects, owls, smashing saucers, doorbells, chickens, hairdryers, diggers, closing doors and (my personal favourite) pianos being dragged along in what sounded like a thunderstorm. Enjoyable stuff, although not really for Carrie. She said she was a little tired too today, and by the sounds of it a little bitchy too. The team were discussing the beautiful Maria Sharapova and Chris asked Carrie for her opinion on her. Carrie said she doesn’t think she’s amazingly pretty and thinks she conforms too much to the blond, tall and skinny stereotype. I think Carrie conforms too much to the bitter, jealous older woman stereotype. Chris agreed with me thank god and asked Carrie who he would consider more attractive than Sharapova. She said Cameron Diaz and Anna Friel. Well let’s be honest fellas, you wouldn’t chuck any of them out of bed would you. Dom said he saw Anna Friel in a supermarket and she is gorgeous. Just to clarify she wasn’t actually working there, her career hasn’t gone that far downhill. Other stuff on the show today included a bit of hilarious Tim Kash bashing, some indirect conversation about nude film making, classic kids TV chat with Dominic and Chris doing a brilliant voiceover on the One Road Travel music announcing it’s CD release and telling everyone to go get it for their very own “travel party”. He said he was just feeling hyper cos it was Friday, and he was feeling in the mood for a few pints tonight. Rachel and Chris both didn’t drink last night, although Aled and Dave did. Aled even sent Chris a picture message of him with a woo woo, which (thankfully for Chris) he didn’t get.
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(Woo Woo!! - the drink not The 5678’s)

CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
JOE who works for a marketing company in London 2
BECKY/MATTHEW both in the army and from Aberdeen 1

**(Earlier...)
Chris (to Becky) - Are you on your own?
Becky - I’ve got a couple of guys outside the back there
(all laugh)
Chris - I bet you have
Dave - Blimey
Chris - That’s what you makes you so popular my darlin’
**
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Daves Tedious Link
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones The Impression That I Get - The Impression That I Get was a top 12 hit in April 1998, the year and month that I turned 18 - 18 is the age at which you’re allowed to vote in general elections in the UK - If you replace the U of UK with an O you get “OK”, which kind of means the same as alright - Alright was a big hit for Supergrass - Supergrass is what you might get if you added artificial fertilisers to some regular turf - Turf rhymes with Surf, which is a popular type of washing powder - Washing powder is normally white, as is flour - Flour is used in the process of cake baking - Cake baking is what you might do prior to a child’s birthday - Birthdays are celebrated annually every year and in that respect share something in common with Easter - Easter Road is the home of Hibernian FC - Hibs are located in Edinburgh, which is the capital of Scotland - and Scotland is the country that gave us Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty, who together made up the KLF - Which links us to KLF and 3AM Eternal

FLAWS
*Grammatical error - “annually” and “every year” mean the same thing
*Bill Drummond was born in South Africa
*Jimmy Cauty was born in Devon

WEEK HIGHLIGHTS:
SHOW OF THE WEEK: Tuesday
MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: Fawlty Towers door stuff, Wes Chart Chat, selected parts of Chris flirting with Carrie, Jo Whiley knicker conversation (Monday), Fart start, Ear trouble for Dave, Aled’s Rat Flat, Moyles Mile messages and Jo Whiley in a Leeds shirt (Tuesday). Buzz Off, Dr. Mark and Aled’s amazing child prodigies (Wednesday), Davenport/Dawn McKenzie chat, genius Scott Mills impressions and emergency DAT dare (Thursday), plus Vernon impression, Chris’s Tim Kash impressions and goodbye to Carrie (all today - Friday). Remember you can always Listen Again to the weeks shows by following the Listen Again links from Chris’s Radio One mini-site @ http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chrismoyles.

CHRIS HOLIDAY NEWS
In two weeks time Chris and the team have a fortnight off, with Scott Mills stepping in and Nemone (Olympics depending) moving around to cover for Scott in the afternoons. It will mean a bit of a station reshuffle but more importantly, lie ins and a break from reviewing for me. This holiday won’t affect Dave’s appearance with Chappers on a Saturday lunchtime though. Their last show will be on July 24th, ahead of JK and Joel’s arrival at Radio One on July 31st.

<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=147835#147835">> Friday July 2nd Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>

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