chrismoyles.net
- Tue Jul 06, 2004 12:56 pm
#241963
1. Britney Spears - Toxic 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 3. Pharrell Williams feat Jay-Z - Frontin', 4. The Ordinary Boys - Talk Talk Talk, 5. BUZZ OFF - Pulp - Babies, 6. Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. U2 - Beautiful Day, 8. Jamelia - See It In A Boy's Eyes, 9. Busted - Thunderbirds Are Go, 10. Razorlight - Golden Touch 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Jennifer Lopez - Waiting For Tonight, 12. Lou Reed - Satellite Of Love (Dab Hands Remix), 13. Rachel Stevens - Some Girls 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. Foo Fighters - All My Life, 15. The Streets - Dry Your Eyes, 16. Keane - Everybody's Changing, 17. SWV - Right Here (Tedious Link), 18. The Hives - Walk Idiot Walk, 19. Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending, 20. Outkast - Roses 9:30 NEWSBEAT 21. Room 5 feat Oliver Cheatham - Make Luv, 22. Snow Patrol - Spitting Games, 23. No Doubt - It’s My Life
Another top, top, top show today - with both Chris and Dave in good moods after their mini lie ins this morning. Dave got up late at quarter past five and Moyles was up late (if you pardon the expression) at ten to six, which by his standards is heaven. He had a quiet night in last night psyching himself up for Saturday’s big run. Ok he didn’t - he had a pint, a Chinese and parked himself up in front of the box for Charlies Angels Full Throttle on Sky Box Office. He said it was exactly like the first film - rubbish but great. I’ve only seen the first one but would have stopped after the "rubbish" bit. The only decent thing worth watching in it is Cameron Diaz. Dave had a special gift to deliver to Chris after the news at 7 this morning - his £100 winnings from the Radio One Euro 2004 sweepstake. Lamacq took the £40 runners up cash and Chappers and some bloke from upstairs wildcard tenners each. Chris said he was considering doing one of two things with the cash - either putting it behind the bar at the lunchtime show meeting and getting everyone bladdered on him, or giving it all to Sport Relief. Rachel of course went for the second choice, but she was outnumbered by four to one as Chris, Dave, Dom and Jules all fancied a boozy lunch. Chris said he was already doing more than enough for Sport Relief anyway. Tis true, as not only is he raising a ton of cash with his Moyles mile, but he’s also talking about it every bloody link as well. It’s boring me to death (although I understand he has to plug it) and with it being only Tuesday, the worst is yet to come. Remember the text number to sponsor Chris or Scott Mills is 82125, with 70p going to Sport Relief from each £1 text. Just type “Chris” or “Scott” depending on who you want to sponsor, so it’s obviously “Chris” then. The current votes as I write this show Scott catching up with 9321 votes to Chris’s 20,842 (and don’t forget to click here for an update). With Chris wiping the floor with Scott (Chris wins), Chris said they should get Mills back as their bitch again one morning, and make him cook their breakfast and stuff...
Dave - I’m gonna text for Scott though, I feel sorry for him
Chris - You bloody will not son
(Dave and Chris collectively go “Oi Oi Oi” and “Whoa Whoa Whoa”)
He did and that meant that in the two days since the text vote begun, Dave has voted twice for Mills and only once for Moyles. Chris said it was good to see where his loyalties lay then...
Dave (sounding peed off) - Right I’ll give you another one then, so to speak
Chris also had a bone to pick with Dave’s partner in crime Mr Chappers, who said on the air yesterday afternoon that he was now voting twice for Scott and not at all for Moyles, this as a result of Chris slagging off Lorraine Kelly during yesterdays show. Mark loves Lorraine Kelly y’see (not literally). Chris did a hilarious Bo Selecta type impression of Chappers and said that his time with him in Portugal had proved that his son Ben actually prefers Chris to his own father. He said he’d obviously now worked out the difference between UK Gold voiceover work and a nightly Channel 5 entertainment show...
Chris - and Chappers wife also said I’m better in bed than he is. Anyway...Eh I’m joking obviously!!
Dom - She didn’t say that
Chris - No you’re right..
Dave - She said you were rubbish
(all laugh)
More celebrity messages of support for Chris in his Sport Relief mile had come in today. They were from Dale’s mate Cilla (who was lovely), Angus Deayton (who was less so) and Sir Steve Redgrave, who quite liderally lifted those words off that script...and plonked them back down again. Dave found his heart felt message for Moyles hilarious.
(Moyles v Mills - Check a text vote update now)
Chris was playing his sympathy card again today, saying that it will quite literally break his ill dad’s heart if Scott Mills beats him on the Sport Relief text vote (a bit sick really). Chris said that if people weren’t gonna text for him, then they should at least text for his dad, who coincidentally is also called Chris:
Dom - Is that confusing in your house with the two of you being Chris?
Chris - No, one is 63 years old and the other one is me
Dom - Oh right ok
In truth Chris’s dad is getting better by the day, although he obviously wasn’t gonna say that this morning. He said he was still recovering from his time in intensive care actually...
Dave - Is he wired up to a drip?
Chris - Oh er yeah...(laughs)...no gags about my mother. So anyway..
(Dom and Jules laugh)
Chris said seriously though, he wanted to people to show their support for his <s>sob story</s> poorly father and text “Chris” to 82125. Cos after all, his dad has been like a father figure to him...
Chris - There’s obviously been a massive amount of strain and pressure on the family....I imagine, granted I live 200 miles away, but I’ve been keeping in contact with the odd text message and stuff like that
(Dave laughs)
RACHEL STEVENS LIVE ON THE SHOW:
Chris - 7:57, so the news is our guest this morning is Rachel Stevens and she’s just got in her car to come to the show. So she’s meant to be on at ten past 8 this morning. So here’s the deal Rachel if you’re listening in your car, get here for ten past 8 and you’re on the show, get here for eleven minutes past and you’re not my darlin’
(hits Razorlight vocal)
Obviously a lie and she arrived in the studio around about quarter past 8 after the segway. I’m just gonna warn you before this section begins that I’ll refer to Rachel Stevens as “Rachel” and Rachel Jones as “Producer Rachel” (just so you don’t get confused). Rachel was a very good guest, despite her blandness. I thought her brief appearance was much better than her last one on afternoons towards the end of last year anyway. She arrived feeling and looking well (obviously), and was getting in with the summer spirit by wearing some kind of poncho top.
Rachel - How are you?
Chris - I’m alright. I’m good...
Rachel - Good
Chris - ...apart from the fact our guest is late this morning *coughs*
Rachel - Oh sorry, the traffic was so bad
Chris - Yeah you should have got in your car before ten to 8 then love *clears throat*
(Rachel and Dave laugh)
Rachel said she’d been around all the regional radio yesterday promoting her new tune Some Girls, the official Sport Relief song for 2004. It’s out on Monday, coming (as we know) just two days after the big Sport Relief mile in which she is taking part. She said she didn’t know how she’d been roped into doing it, probably just cos she thought it’d be a laugh (like Chris). Who’s laughing now though eh?
Chris - Where are you doing it?
Rachel - Birmingham
Chris - Why Birmingham?
Rachel - I don’t know actually to be honest
(Chris laughs)
Dave - Why not?
Rachel - Yeah exactly
Chris asked Rachel if she’s started training. She said not really as it’s been ages since she went to the gym. She goes there regularly in two month spurts and then always stops for some reason...
Chris - Do you not go to the gym every day?
Rachel - I should do but no
Chris - You don’t need to
Rachel - Aw thanks
Chris (laughs) - That’s alright
Dave - Like us
Chris said he was actually gonna start his training yesterday but he couldn’t be arsed. True dedication. He promised to go for a run today, but the fact that the team now have an extra show meeting at lunch on top of the usual daily one means that he’s had to re arrange his schedule. He’s now planning to go jogging in between meetings, around half 11 this morning. Producer Rachel said she had a better plan though...
Producer Rachel - I have an idea, we could all walk to the meeting
Chris - Nah
Dave - We’ll get a cab
(Rachel laughs)
Rachel suggested Chris go for a good swim, as it’s great for the whole body. He said yes that was true, but added that him in his Speedos was not a good look (which you may be shocked to hear...not a pleasant image eh).
Rachel is going to try and run the mile in a really fast time of 6 minutes, which Chris and Dave thought was a bit optimistic. Moyles added that it doesn’t really matter how fast she runs, she’s still guaranteed to beat him. Remember though, you don’t have to run the mile:
Rachel - You can skip it, or hop it
Chris - crawl it, whatever yeah...
Dave - As long as you do it
Chris - ...as those wacky people would do raising money for charidee, *hopping on one leg* idiot, what’s the point of that? walk it..
(Rachel laughs)
Rachel said she’s gonna be sensible and go to bed early the night before. Chris told her to live a little and go out and get trolleyed, you know - stand on a bar with her bra over her head or summat. I’m not quite so sure that is her scene to be honest (well I’m definitely sure). Chris asked Rachel if she felt any extra pressure with her Sexiest Woman In The World ranking falling each year. She said no but it’s not good for her ego. Chris said she might get fitter as she gets older, you never know. Her ranking isn’t actually falling though, she’s number 2 in this years FHM list. Rachel jokingly asked Chris where he was in there. Number 441 to be precise - yes he is actually in there, as the world’s 441st sexiest woman. She sounded erm, surprised. Chris compared her new single to Goldfrapp and she said it also had a hint of Debbie Harry to it as well...
Chris - See now you don’t wanna look like Debbie Harry when you get to her age
Rachel - I think she looks fantastic
Chris - Aw come on seriously!
Rachel - No? Do you not think?
Chris - She looks like she’s been put through a tumble drier
(Rachel and Dave laugh)
Chris subtly hinted to Rachel that it was national kissing day today, although to say she didn’t seem interested in the implicit offer was an understatement. She said the mystery man who she’s been pictured with in the gossip magazines is just an old friend, someone whom she’s never mouth kissed or seen naked (an interesting line of questioning from Chris). Moyles is of course friendly with her ex Jeremy Edwards, and he said it was a shame they had split up...
Chris - Aww it’s a shame you know...(stops) I mean he was too tall for you
Rachel (laughs) - He was
Chris - There was that. I mean you looked a bit odd walking together
(Dave and Rachel laugh)
Rachel - We did
Chris - You looked like you were on your knees. You know when you do that thing where you go on your knees and put your shoes on the floor, you know that...
Rachel is a tiny 5 foot 1, and seemingly getting shorter by the day. Chris ended the conversation by chatting about her fellow S Clubbers and what they were up to now. The only one I care about is sexy Hannah, who Chris always had a soft spot for (snap) and who is now doing very well as an actress apparently (is she?). She can’t be doing that well as I can’t remember seeing her in anything. Chris thinks the S Clubbers should get back together in a couple of years for a “Greatest Hits tour” (perhaps a little ambitious)...therefore earning themselves a house in Barbados. Seemed like a good idea to Rachel too. She’ll be back on the phone next week to compare mile times with Chris and co.
ALED’S FLAT IDOL - ROUND 2:>>>>
Just six people remaining then with only three to go through to the next stage, with two of these then becoming Aled’s new flatmates (supposedly). Here we go then with the final contestants:
- JAMES from Leeds, who has a panda called Humphrey who could keep Hilton company (THROUGH)
- SARAH a 19 year old student who moisturises twice a day with Dove Body Silk (THROUGH - naturally)
- ROXANNE a student from Wigan with a big DVD and CD collection (OUT)
- PAUL who has a widescreen TV and plasma screen and said he’d get the shake and vac out everyday (OUT - Aled doesn’t like it too clean)
- DAVID the gayest Welsh hairdresser you’ve ever heard (THROUGH - again naturally). He said he watches Will and Grace, not Frasier...
Aled - Do you watch Will and Grace?
Chris & Dave together - No!
Aled - Why do you not? You would love it!
Chris - Cos we’re heterosexuals
Aled - That’s not true!
Chris - What, no we are!! (laughs)..he’s even married!
Aled (laughs) - Yeah well that’s true
Dave - Fact
- HEIDI JANE who sounded cute but not particularly arsed in winning the prize (Therefore OUT).
Aled’s least favourite of the three through so far is David, with Sarah in first place...
Aled - I’m liking Sarah a lot
Chris - Yeah I must admit I’m liking Sarah a lot
Dave - Yeah maybe we’ll come round to visit
Chris - Yeah, 19 year old student Sarah, goood mornin’ my darlin’
OTHER STUFF ON THE SHOW TODAY:>>>
Craig the doorman has invited Chris, Will and Aled to The Purple Room in Leeds on Saturday night, for a bit of post running entertainment. Aled saying he was up for it drew giggles from Moyles. Aled wanted to know why...
Chris - It’s the kind of establishment I imagine you haven’t been to
Aled - Right OK
Dave - a snooker hall (Chris laughs and then pauses)
Chris - It’s like a gambling place, there’s a back room for poker
Dave - mmm
You’ve obviously gathered it’s a strip club, and one that Dave and Chris have both visited before on their travels in Leeds. Chris said Aled might like this one place him and his mate went years ago, which was ultra posh and full of predominantly male and well groomed clientele. Chris said yep, it was a gay bar. As soon as he found out it was and told his mate, his mate scanned the room and muttered the following: “Right drink up, we’re going”.
Chris - Right Buzz Off time and I’m being selfish this morning, I think the songs so far are great..
Dave (interrupts while laughing) - What do you mean this morning?
(Rach laughs)
Chris - Well yeah, selfish every morning
He chose a quality track this morning, and one now ten years old - Pulp and Babies. Aled was first to buzz on 1:43 (he really does have no musical taste), Rach next on 2:45 and Dave last on the end of the track at 3:51. Chris didn’t give out the text vote but I’d hope it would’ve been Buzz On, as it really deserved to be. Chris messed around with the 1994 compilation CD it came from, playing a bit of Tony Di Bart (that plumber from Slough).
Dave - I met him once
Chris - Did you?
Dave - mmm
Chris - and?
Dave - He said hello, he was alright
Chris - That’s nice
Dave - Not a great story but a story nonetheless
(Dom laughs)
Other intros played included tracks from Crowded House, Meatloaf and Glowworm. Chris said congratulations to the texters who correctly identified the intros, saying they won nothing but the team’s admiration, love and affection.
Dave - Yeah, big up yourself
Chris (pause) - I’d rather not but thanks
Other music on the show this morning came courtesy of Snow Patrol, The Hives, the new Thunderbird themed track from Busted (no really), an oldie from Jennifer Lopez...and Frontin' by Pharrell and Jay-Z. Chris told the Pharrell/Jo Whiley/Jamie Cullum story again and Rachel butted in with her own Pharrell story. She said he’d just been to 1Xtra and came back pressing his nose up against the glass of the production staff’s monthly meeting in the boardroom (with pizza).
(pause) Chris - Oh is that the story?
Rachel (laughs) - Yeah
Chris - That’s brilliant Rachel
Dave - Yeah, that’s why we don’t go to those meetings
(Chris and Rach laugh)
Other stuff discussed today included tonight’s F1 parade through London, and Rachel *if it wasn’t for Chris she’d be on Dance ruddy Anthems* Jones turning her nose up at his decision to play half of Keane before Tedious Link and the other half a quarter of an hour later at the end of a half time. She was also being a bit of a bitch and calling Rachel Stevens orange, although Chris tried to say this off the air and got caught out as he forgot Dom’s mic was on for the news.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
FLETCH a window fitter from Cleveland 2
EMMA an air stewardess from South Wales 1
Daves Tedious Link
The Jam A Town Called Malice - The Jam were fronted by Paul Weller, who’s mates with Ocean Colour Scene - Ocean Colour Scene’s Riverboat Song provided the theme tune to TFI Friday - Friday I’m In Love was a 1992 hit for The Cure - The Cure’s Robert Smith is famous for being a singer with big hair, and in that respect shares something in common with Tina Turner - Turner & Hooch was a film starring Tom Hanks and a dog - The plural of dog is dogs - Dogs naturally have wet noses, while wet noses in the world of humans would normally indicate a cold or similar mucus problem - Problems need to be solved, as do puzzles - Puzzles rhymes with muzzles, which are fixed to the jaws of dangerous animals to stop them biting people - People Are People was a top 4 hit in 1984 for Depeche Mode - Depeche Mode literally translated is French for “fast fashion” - If you remove the “fashion” bit of “fast fashion” you’re left simply with fast, which is not the way to drive during a driving test - and during a driving test your examiner will give you various different instructions including “Stop”, “Left Here” or indeed “Right Here” - Which links us to SWV and Right Here
FLAWS
*The theme tune to TFI Friday was Man In A Suitcase**, not The Riverboat Song (that was played as the guests came out). Dave called it a minor technicality but Chris started chanting “Chris Wins!” in chav like England fan fashion, that resulted in a 2 minute section of chav chants from him and Dave (that were very funny). E.g, Chris chanted “Chappers, give us a fact! Chappers, Chappers give us a fact!”. Dave replied with “Knowledge is power! Knowledge is power! Aled said he felt scared. Chris laughed and moved on...
Chris - Right before we do half time, would you like to hear...
Dave (laughs) - What, while we’re still in the structured part of the show
(Rachel and Aled laugh)
**Just a quick plug for my second favourite radio DJ, who uses Man In A Suitcase as his opening music (he replied to my e-mail on air last year and said he’d used it well before Chris Evans). His name is Joe Ferguson and I first heard him on a station in Liverpool a couple of years back. He left in acrimonious circumstances last year (grrr) and is now back home in Belfast, doing the late show on Citybeat 96.7FM. You can hear the show here, although the server is dodgy and I can normally only get it after midnight. I strongly suggest you give him a listen and then e-mail me your feedback. Be warned though, he has a much bigger ego than Moyles (if that is indeed possible)!
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=148303#148303">> Tuesday July 6th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
Another top, top, top show today - with both Chris and Dave in good moods after their mini lie ins this morning. Dave got up late at quarter past five and Moyles was up late (if you pardon the expression) at ten to six, which by his standards is heaven. He had a quiet night in last night psyching himself up for Saturday’s big run. Ok he didn’t - he had a pint, a Chinese and parked himself up in front of the box for Charlies Angels Full Throttle on Sky Box Office. He said it was exactly like the first film - rubbish but great. I’ve only seen the first one but would have stopped after the "rubbish" bit. The only decent thing worth watching in it is Cameron Diaz. Dave had a special gift to deliver to Chris after the news at 7 this morning - his £100 winnings from the Radio One Euro 2004 sweepstake. Lamacq took the £40 runners up cash and Chappers and some bloke from upstairs wildcard tenners each. Chris said he was considering doing one of two things with the cash - either putting it behind the bar at the lunchtime show meeting and getting everyone bladdered on him, or giving it all to Sport Relief. Rachel of course went for the second choice, but she was outnumbered by four to one as Chris, Dave, Dom and Jules all fancied a boozy lunch. Chris said he was already doing more than enough for Sport Relief anyway. Tis true, as not only is he raising a ton of cash with his Moyles mile, but he’s also talking about it every bloody link as well. It’s boring me to death (although I understand he has to plug it) and with it being only Tuesday, the worst is yet to come. Remember the text number to sponsor Chris or Scott Mills is 82125, with 70p going to Sport Relief from each £1 text. Just type “Chris” or “Scott” depending on who you want to sponsor, so it’s obviously “Chris” then. The current votes as I write this show Scott catching up with 9321 votes to Chris’s 20,842 (and don’t forget to click here for an update). With Chris wiping the floor with Scott (Chris wins), Chris said they should get Mills back as their bitch again one morning, and make him cook their breakfast and stuff...
Dave - I’m gonna text for Scott though, I feel sorry for him
Chris - You bloody will not son
(Dave and Chris collectively go “Oi Oi Oi” and “Whoa Whoa Whoa”)
He did and that meant that in the two days since the text vote begun, Dave has voted twice for Mills and only once for Moyles. Chris said it was good to see where his loyalties lay then...
Dave (sounding peed off) - Right I’ll give you another one then, so to speak
Chris also had a bone to pick with Dave’s partner in crime Mr Chappers, who said on the air yesterday afternoon that he was now voting twice for Scott and not at all for Moyles, this as a result of Chris slagging off Lorraine Kelly during yesterdays show. Mark loves Lorraine Kelly y’see (not literally). Chris did a hilarious Bo Selecta type impression of Chappers and said that his time with him in Portugal had proved that his son Ben actually prefers Chris to his own father. He said he’d obviously now worked out the difference between UK Gold voiceover work and a nightly Channel 5 entertainment show...
Chris - and Chappers wife also said I’m better in bed than he is. Anyway...Eh I’m joking obviously!!
Dom - She didn’t say that
Chris - No you’re right..
Dave - She said you were rubbish
(all laugh)
More celebrity messages of support for Chris in his Sport Relief mile had come in today. They were from Dale’s mate Cilla (who was lovely), Angus Deayton (who was less so) and Sir Steve Redgrave, who quite liderally lifted those words off that script...and plonked them back down again. Dave found his heart felt message for Moyles hilarious.
(Moyles v Mills - Check a text vote update now)
Chris was playing his sympathy card again today, saying that it will quite literally break his ill dad’s heart if Scott Mills beats him on the Sport Relief text vote (a bit sick really). Chris said that if people weren’t gonna text for him, then they should at least text for his dad, who coincidentally is also called Chris:
Dom - Is that confusing in your house with the two of you being Chris?
Chris - No, one is 63 years old and the other one is me
Dom - Oh right ok
In truth Chris’s dad is getting better by the day, although he obviously wasn’t gonna say that this morning. He said he was still recovering from his time in intensive care actually...
Dave - Is he wired up to a drip?
Chris - Oh er yeah...(laughs)...no gags about my mother. So anyway..
(Dom and Jules laugh)
Chris said seriously though, he wanted to people to show their support for his <s>sob story</s> poorly father and text “Chris” to 82125. Cos after all, his dad has been like a father figure to him...
Chris - There’s obviously been a massive amount of strain and pressure on the family....I imagine, granted I live 200 miles away, but I’ve been keeping in contact with the odd text message and stuff like that
(Dave laughs)
RACHEL STEVENS LIVE ON THE SHOW:
Chris - 7:57, so the news is our guest this morning is Rachel Stevens and she’s just got in her car to come to the show. So she’s meant to be on at ten past 8 this morning. So here’s the deal Rachel if you’re listening in your car, get here for ten past 8 and you’re on the show, get here for eleven minutes past and you’re not my darlin’
(hits Razorlight vocal)
Obviously a lie and she arrived in the studio around about quarter past 8 after the segway. I’m just gonna warn you before this section begins that I’ll refer to Rachel Stevens as “Rachel” and Rachel Jones as “Producer Rachel” (just so you don’t get confused). Rachel was a very good guest, despite her blandness. I thought her brief appearance was much better than her last one on afternoons towards the end of last year anyway. She arrived feeling and looking well (obviously), and was getting in with the summer spirit by wearing some kind of poncho top.
Rachel - How are you?
Chris - I’m alright. I’m good...
Rachel - Good
Chris - ...apart from the fact our guest is late this morning *coughs*
Rachel - Oh sorry, the traffic was so bad
Chris - Yeah you should have got in your car before ten to 8 then love *clears throat*
(Rachel and Dave laugh)
Rachel said she’d been around all the regional radio yesterday promoting her new tune Some Girls, the official Sport Relief song for 2004. It’s out on Monday, coming (as we know) just two days after the big Sport Relief mile in which she is taking part. She said she didn’t know how she’d been roped into doing it, probably just cos she thought it’d be a laugh (like Chris). Who’s laughing now though eh?
Chris - Where are you doing it?
Rachel - Birmingham
Chris - Why Birmingham?
Rachel - I don’t know actually to be honest
(Chris laughs)
Dave - Why not?
Rachel - Yeah exactly
Chris asked Rachel if she’s started training. She said not really as it’s been ages since she went to the gym. She goes there regularly in two month spurts and then always stops for some reason...
Chris - Do you not go to the gym every day?
Rachel - I should do but no
Chris - You don’t need to
Rachel - Aw thanks
Chris (laughs) - That’s alright
Dave - Like us
Chris said he was actually gonna start his training yesterday but he couldn’t be arsed. True dedication. He promised to go for a run today, but the fact that the team now have an extra show meeting at lunch on top of the usual daily one means that he’s had to re arrange his schedule. He’s now planning to go jogging in between meetings, around half 11 this morning. Producer Rachel said she had a better plan though...
Producer Rachel - I have an idea, we could all walk to the meeting
Chris - Nah
Dave - We’ll get a cab
(Rachel laughs)
Rachel suggested Chris go for a good swim, as it’s great for the whole body. He said yes that was true, but added that him in his Speedos was not a good look (which you may be shocked to hear...not a pleasant image eh).
Rachel is going to try and run the mile in a really fast time of 6 minutes, which Chris and Dave thought was a bit optimistic. Moyles added that it doesn’t really matter how fast she runs, she’s still guaranteed to beat him. Remember though, you don’t have to run the mile:
Rachel - You can skip it, or hop it
Chris - crawl it, whatever yeah...
Dave - As long as you do it
Chris - ...as those wacky people would do raising money for charidee, *hopping on one leg* idiot, what’s the point of that? walk it..
(Rachel laughs)
Rachel said she’s gonna be sensible and go to bed early the night before. Chris told her to live a little and go out and get trolleyed, you know - stand on a bar with her bra over her head or summat. I’m not quite so sure that is her scene to be honest (well I’m definitely sure). Chris asked Rachel if she felt any extra pressure with her Sexiest Woman In The World ranking falling each year. She said no but it’s not good for her ego. Chris said she might get fitter as she gets older, you never know. Her ranking isn’t actually falling though, she’s number 2 in this years FHM list. Rachel jokingly asked Chris where he was in there. Number 441 to be precise - yes he is actually in there, as the world’s 441st sexiest woman. She sounded erm, surprised. Chris compared her new single to Goldfrapp and she said it also had a hint of Debbie Harry to it as well...
Chris - See now you don’t wanna look like Debbie Harry when you get to her age
Rachel - I think she looks fantastic
Chris - Aw come on seriously!
Rachel - No? Do you not think?
Chris - She looks like she’s been put through a tumble drier
(Rachel and Dave laugh)
Chris subtly hinted to Rachel that it was national kissing day today, although to say she didn’t seem interested in the implicit offer was an understatement. She said the mystery man who she’s been pictured with in the gossip magazines is just an old friend, someone whom she’s never mouth kissed or seen naked (an interesting line of questioning from Chris). Moyles is of course friendly with her ex Jeremy Edwards, and he said it was a shame they had split up...
Chris - Aww it’s a shame you know...(stops) I mean he was too tall for you
Rachel (laughs) - He was
Chris - There was that. I mean you looked a bit odd walking together
(Dave and Rachel laugh)
Rachel - We did
Chris - You looked like you were on your knees. You know when you do that thing where you go on your knees and put your shoes on the floor, you know that...
Rachel is a tiny 5 foot 1, and seemingly getting shorter by the day. Chris ended the conversation by chatting about her fellow S Clubbers and what they were up to now. The only one I care about is sexy Hannah, who Chris always had a soft spot for (snap) and who is now doing very well as an actress apparently (is she?). She can’t be doing that well as I can’t remember seeing her in anything. Chris thinks the S Clubbers should get back together in a couple of years for a “Greatest Hits tour” (perhaps a little ambitious)...therefore earning themselves a house in Barbados. Seemed like a good idea to Rachel too. She’ll be back on the phone next week to compare mile times with Chris and co.
ALED’S FLAT IDOL - ROUND 2:>>>>
Just six people remaining then with only three to go through to the next stage, with two of these then becoming Aled’s new flatmates (supposedly). Here we go then with the final contestants:
- JAMES from Leeds, who has a panda called Humphrey who could keep Hilton company (THROUGH)
- SARAH a 19 year old student who moisturises twice a day with Dove Body Silk (THROUGH - naturally)
- ROXANNE a student from Wigan with a big DVD and CD collection (OUT)
- PAUL who has a widescreen TV and plasma screen and said he’d get the shake and vac out everyday (OUT - Aled doesn’t like it too clean)
- DAVID the gayest Welsh hairdresser you’ve ever heard (THROUGH - again naturally). He said he watches Will and Grace, not Frasier...
Aled - Do you watch Will and Grace?
Chris & Dave together - No!
Aled - Why do you not? You would love it!
Chris - Cos we’re heterosexuals
Aled - That’s not true!
Chris - What, no we are!! (laughs)..he’s even married!
Aled (laughs) - Yeah well that’s true
Dave - Fact
- HEIDI JANE who sounded cute but not particularly arsed in winning the prize (Therefore OUT).
Aled’s least favourite of the three through so far is David, with Sarah in first place...
Aled - I’m liking Sarah a lot
Chris - Yeah I must admit I’m liking Sarah a lot
Dave - Yeah maybe we’ll come round to visit
Chris - Yeah, 19 year old student Sarah, goood mornin’ my darlin’
OTHER STUFF ON THE SHOW TODAY:>>>
Craig the doorman has invited Chris, Will and Aled to The Purple Room in Leeds on Saturday night, for a bit of post running entertainment. Aled saying he was up for it drew giggles from Moyles. Aled wanted to know why...
Chris - It’s the kind of establishment I imagine you haven’t been to
Aled - Right OK
Dave - a snooker hall (Chris laughs and then pauses)
Chris - It’s like a gambling place, there’s a back room for poker
Dave - mmm
You’ve obviously gathered it’s a strip club, and one that Dave and Chris have both visited before on their travels in Leeds. Chris said Aled might like this one place him and his mate went years ago, which was ultra posh and full of predominantly male and well groomed clientele. Chris said yep, it was a gay bar. As soon as he found out it was and told his mate, his mate scanned the room and muttered the following: “Right drink up, we’re going”.
Chris - Right Buzz Off time and I’m being selfish this morning, I think the songs so far are great..
Dave (interrupts while laughing) - What do you mean this morning?
(Rach laughs)
Chris - Well yeah, selfish every morning
He chose a quality track this morning, and one now ten years old - Pulp and Babies. Aled was first to buzz on 1:43 (he really does have no musical taste), Rach next on 2:45 and Dave last on the end of the track at 3:51. Chris didn’t give out the text vote but I’d hope it would’ve been Buzz On, as it really deserved to be. Chris messed around with the 1994 compilation CD it came from, playing a bit of Tony Di Bart (that plumber from Slough).
Dave - I met him once
Chris - Did you?
Dave - mmm
Chris - and?
Dave - He said hello, he was alright
Chris - That’s nice
Dave - Not a great story but a story nonetheless
(Dom laughs)
Other intros played included tracks from Crowded House, Meatloaf and Glowworm. Chris said congratulations to the texters who correctly identified the intros, saying they won nothing but the team’s admiration, love and affection.
Dave - Yeah, big up yourself
Chris (pause) - I’d rather not but thanks
Other music on the show this morning came courtesy of Snow Patrol, The Hives, the new Thunderbird themed track from Busted (no really), an oldie from Jennifer Lopez...and Frontin' by Pharrell and Jay-Z. Chris told the Pharrell/Jo Whiley/Jamie Cullum story again and Rachel butted in with her own Pharrell story. She said he’d just been to 1Xtra and came back pressing his nose up against the glass of the production staff’s monthly meeting in the boardroom (with pizza).
(pause) Chris - Oh is that the story?
Rachel (laughs) - Yeah
Chris - That’s brilliant Rachel
Dave - Yeah, that’s why we don’t go to those meetings
(Chris and Rach laugh)
Other stuff discussed today included tonight’s F1 parade through London, and Rachel *if it wasn’t for Chris she’d be on Dance ruddy Anthems* Jones turning her nose up at his decision to play half of Keane before Tedious Link and the other half a quarter of an hour later at the end of a half time. She was also being a bit of a bitch and calling Rachel Stevens orange, although Chris tried to say this off the air and got caught out as he forgot Dom’s mic was on for the news.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
FLETCH a window fitter from Cleveland 2
EMMA an air stewardess from South Wales 1
Daves Tedious Link
The Jam A Town Called Malice - The Jam were fronted by Paul Weller, who’s mates with Ocean Colour Scene - Ocean Colour Scene’s Riverboat Song provided the theme tune to TFI Friday - Friday I’m In Love was a 1992 hit for The Cure - The Cure’s Robert Smith is famous for being a singer with big hair, and in that respect shares something in common with Tina Turner - Turner & Hooch was a film starring Tom Hanks and a dog - The plural of dog is dogs - Dogs naturally have wet noses, while wet noses in the world of humans would normally indicate a cold or similar mucus problem - Problems need to be solved, as do puzzles - Puzzles rhymes with muzzles, which are fixed to the jaws of dangerous animals to stop them biting people - People Are People was a top 4 hit in 1984 for Depeche Mode - Depeche Mode literally translated is French for “fast fashion” - If you remove the “fashion” bit of “fast fashion” you’re left simply with fast, which is not the way to drive during a driving test - and during a driving test your examiner will give you various different instructions including “Stop”, “Left Here” or indeed “Right Here” - Which links us to SWV and Right Here
FLAWS
*The theme tune to TFI Friday was Man In A Suitcase**, not The Riverboat Song (that was played as the guests came out). Dave called it a minor technicality but Chris started chanting “Chris Wins!” in chav like England fan fashion, that resulted in a 2 minute section of chav chants from him and Dave (that were very funny). E.g, Chris chanted “Chappers, give us a fact! Chappers, Chappers give us a fact!”. Dave replied with “Knowledge is power! Knowledge is power! Aled said he felt scared. Chris laughed and moved on...
Chris - Right before we do half time, would you like to hear...
Dave (laughs) - What, while we’re still in the structured part of the show
(Rachel and Aled laugh)
**Just a quick plug for my second favourite radio DJ, who uses Man In A Suitcase as his opening music (he replied to my e-mail on air last year and said he’d used it well before Chris Evans). His name is Joe Ferguson and I first heard him on a station in Liverpool a couple of years back. He left in acrimonious circumstances last year (grrr) and is now back home in Belfast, doing the late show on Citybeat 96.7FM. You can hear the show here, although the server is dodgy and I can normally only get it after midnight. I strongly suggest you give him a listen and then e-mail me your feedback. Be warned though, he has a much bigger ego than Moyles (if that is indeed possible)!
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=148303#148303">> Tuesday July 6th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
