chrismoyles.net
- Thu Jul 08, 2004 11:09 am
#241965
THE CHRIS MOYLES SHOW - TODAY FEATURING COMEDY DAVE DRUNK
1. Scissor Sisters - Laura 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Christina Aguilera - Fighter, 3. Outkast - Roses, 4. Girls Aloud - The Show, 5. BUZZ OFF - Huey Lewis & The News - The Power Of Love, 6. Lostprophets - Last Train Home 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Joe Budden - Pump It Up, 8. Snow Patrol - Spitting Games, 9. Will Young - Friday's Child, 10. Natasha Bedingfield - Single 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Toploader - Dancing In The Moonlight, 12. Usher - Burn, 13. Nelly Furtado - Forca 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 15. Blu Cantrell feat Sean Paul - Breathe, 16. Evanescence - Going Under, 17. Kylie Minogue - Put Yourself In My Place (Tedious Link), 18. Lou Reed - Satellite Of Love (Dab Hands Remix), 19. Ash - Starcrossed, 20. The Hives - Walk Idiot Walk 9:30 NEWSBEAT 21. U2 - Elevation (Tomb Raider Mix), 22. Nina Sky feat Jabba - Move Ya Body, 23. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
Lets just cut to the chase then - Comedy Dave was drunk on the air today. Not completely bladdered, but a little bit tipsy nonetheless. The full reasons behind his drunken condition were not fully explained, but the top and bottom of the matter was that he didn’t leave the pub until *cough* 1am *cough* this morning and didn’t get to bed until almost 2 o’clock. Dave was unsurprisingly the cause of most of the best bits on this morning’s show, including the first link after the 7:00 news, during which Juliette noticed that he had belted up his stomach as opposed to his jeans. Much hilarity ensued, and Dave (upon inspection) revealed that yes, he had missed out a few loops and had belted up his skin. A drunken laugh and slurred sentence followed, which was of concern to Rachel, who said Dave was fine five minutes before the start of the show.
Dom - Oh this is gonna be a great show today!!
Chris thought that ringing Mrs Vitty/Pontefract to see what really happened last night may have been a good idea, but Dave begged with him not to, as Emma is in a real stinking mood this morning...
Dave - Put it this way, at the moment I am not soup d’jour in my house
(Dom, Jules and Chris laugh)
Rachel revealed that she had already spoken to her today, and Dave demanded to know why she had been phoning his wife at such a stupid time in the morning. She said cos he was over an hour and a half late for work. Her point was taken I think. Dave said Emma had called him “irresponsible”, “immature” and a whole bunch of other derogatory terms this morning. He said it was almost as if their house had been burgled overnight and the burglars had stole her sense of humour. Thankfully (for the sake of his marriage) Dave assured Chris that Emma wouldn’t be up yet, and he said he’d moved her radio from the bedroom to the kitchen just in case. She wasn’t overly happy to see him again this morning, as he had to return home just minutes into his car journey to work after realising that he only had one of his contact lenses in. Chris had two words for Dave - Ray Parlour. Dave claimed that Emma would have sent him to the spare room last night if it hadn’t had been for the piles of boxes in there. Her and Dave are round at Chris’s tonight, so they’ll be on separate sofas then no doubt. She apparently “dislikes him intensely” at the moment. Because of Dave's seeming lack of willingness to apologise, Rachel said he had a load of grovelling to do and suggested that he bought Emma a really big present to make up for last night. Obviously he disagreed, but did say that Emma has been nagging him about getting her an eternity ring, which is a ring supposedly qualified for by a year of marriage (and the 23rd of August will be their first wedding anniversary). Rachel said that if he really loved her he’d buy it, but again he disagreed and said that he’d already bought her an engagement ring, a wedding ring and (who could forget) an albeit slightly dusty everlasting rose from the BP garage 4 years ago...yet now she wants another gift!! Chris’s advice was along the lines of sod it get her a bunch of flowers, and Dave was very encouraged by a text coming in that said no eternity ring should be bought until you have had your first child.
Back to Dave’s drunken state for a moment, with one text saying that he sounded a bit like Jim from EastEnders this morning. Chris said that Dave was a disgrace for going out on a school night and told him that he had let the show down, Emma down, the team down...but most importantly himself down. Rach called him unprofessional and Chris said that if Jenny Abramski (head of BBC radio) was listening, he should be fired immediately. Dave couldn’t even be arsed to think up an excuse. Chris said his alcoholic fumes were stinking out the studio, despite his misplaced claims that he was still sober. If anything proved that beyond doubt it was his Tedious Link today, which was slurred all the way through with Dave frequently stopping to catch quick breaths between links. He also ran out of breath during his half time “ready to ramble” precursor, which caused Chris to call him a drunken fool.
Rachel - You’re too high
Dave - Shut your face!
Chris said he’d never seen Dave look so drunk, and camp too as he leaned back to eat his bacon sarnie. Dave said that was outrageous slur on him, which ironically he did in fact slur. I think most people that heard today’s show however, would agree that the best part...was Dave doing drunken Maths.
DAVE DOES DRUNKEN MATHS:
It was all to do with Chris and Scott’s Sport Relief text off, as Dom tried to convert the total texts in so far into pounds and pence, bearing in mind that 70p from each £1 goes to Sport Relief. Dave got out his phone to use the calculator facility, although Chris banned anyone from helping him work out what numbers to crunch to get the figure. He said that yeah the 63 018 texts in so far came out as roughly 45 grand, but with the calculator in hand Chris claimed that he should be able to get the rest of the team an exact answer.
Dave (sighing) - Yeah but y’see I don’t know how to divide by seventy pence
(Dom and Jules in hysterics)
Chris - Why are you dividing?
After a bit of help from Chris, Dave worked out that the sum he needed to be doing was 0.70 x 63 018. The cheers went up and everyone clapped, awaiting Dave’s response...
Dave - Ohhh (makes little cry noise), I can’t find the point button
Chris - Oh for gods sake!!
(all laugh as Chris plays jingle)
Chris decided against going into a record and went back to Dave, who was still struggling. Rachel helped him out but still he couldn’t produce a specific answer (Dave sounded really pissed during this as well). Chris eventually told him to just read out the answer of £44 120.60 from the sheet of paper in front of him, and he duly obliged. Aled told Dave that he was on top form today, and there was much love on the text coming in for Dave too. He said thanks, but wanted to stress that his phone was to blame for the last item and that it wasn't him being numerically illiterate.
Now time for a quick Moyles Mile/Sport Relief round up, what with there being just two days to go until Sport Relief Saturday. The current scores in the Mills/Moyles text vote stand as follows: Chris is on 56 162 and Scott on 24 891, with more than 20 000 coming in during today’s Breakfast Show alone. Chris was again milking his Dad’s illness for all it’s worth, with Greyhead voicing another sob story trail over the Hovis music. Lines today included “yes there will be doctors standing by”, “yes his face will be contorted with pain” and “but no, he won’t flinch from his duty”. Oh and btw, Chris IS definitely going training today. He has a session booked in at 1 with his new trainer, which was arranged before the team headed out to Portugal. Chris said he can’t cancel it now though, so told people in London to look out for him gliding majestically through their streets this afternoon. Dave preferred to tell them to look out for a “hippo with a gammy knee”, which Chris wasn’t best pleased by.
(Don’t forget to check the latest Mills - Moyles text scores by clicking here)
RICHARD WHITELEY LIVE ON THE PHONE:
So just to recap, to talk about Sport Relief this week two of Chris’s guests via phone have been Richard Whiteley and Jo Brand. Think sport, think them. Unlike Jo though, Richard WON’T be running the Sport Relief Mile on Saturday. It’s not because he’s fat and old either, he’s busy at a Sport Relief Battle Of The Channels in Guildford. He’s captaining the Channel 4 team in the five event play off against the BBC, ITV and five. It’s a special version of Superstars, with the remainder of the Channel 4 team consisting of Kevin Sacre (Jake in Hollyoaks), Sunetra Sarker (Angie in No Angels), Brian Dowling and Chris’s bezzy mate Caprice (hmm yeah). Richard thinks they’re gonna win, although as long as he doesn’t take part in any events. Sounds about right to me. Richard said hats off to Chris for doing the mile though, and he urged everyone in Yorkshire to sponsor him and get behind this Saturday’s mile in Roundhay Park. After a brief chat about Richard’s last appearance on the show (in a bar in Leeds one Saturday morning years back), the topic of conversation turned to Countdown. After discussing Vorderman’s current look (positively), Chris arse licked Richard (god what a horrible thought) and said that Countdown was a still a powerhouse of television, an appointment to view and part of the national timetable. However, despite doing the show for 22 years now, Richard is still disappointed by the fact that he’s never had a catchphrase. He said surprisingly “That’s the end of part one, see you in part two” has never really caught on. Chris said his favourite bit of Countdown is the bit after the letters have been picked and the camera cuts back to Richard for him to press the button. Chris said he likes the wacky lines Richard does to try and spice it up, sometimes trying to include words he can see in the letters himself. Chris said he also likes the fact that the Channel 4 subtitlers still subtitle the visible “A” on Vorderman’s board for an “A” on text. Richard said hats off to them as they do a marvellous job, but he wishes they would stop putting audience laughter in brackets, as it makes his jokes seem really bad. That’s just ridiculous though, I mean who would ever put anything about laughter in brackets...
Chris - We should go on dictionary corner one week
(Rachel starts laughing furiously)
Dave - I don’t think we’re intelligent enough for that...
Chris (interrupting) - Whoa whoa whoa, what are you laughing at Rachel?
Rachel - No I think that would be brilliant (carries on laughing)
Chris said he’d love to go on Dictionary Corner, but he didn’t think that him or Dave would be any match for Rik Wakeman, Giles Brandreth or Richard Stilgoe. Apparently Culshaw was asked to do it but never did. Rach said she thought Chris and Dave would be hilarious on there, but they were less sure. Dave said he finds Countdown too difficult and Chris thought he’d be crap as well. Aled added his input to the conversation by saying that he likes the Countdown music...mmm, thanks for that Aled.
ALED’S FLAT IDOL - THE FINAL:>>>>
Today was grand final day, so it was no surprise that Aled wanted to urgently talk to Chris and spring the coincidental news that his two flatmates both now have got jobs. Seriously, what were the chances of that happening eh? He now can’t kick them out, so had to apologise to student Sarah and David from Llandudno (who would have won the chance to live with him). He did say as a consolation prize he’d send them some Chris Moyles mugs, remember as a prize for winning Flat Idol. Chris said he therefore can’t wait for Mug Idol, when they’ll be giving away two flats...nice.
Other stuff on the show today included more bumpkin Darkness courtesy of Hayseed Dixie and Dom having Tim Vincent as a Guess Who for a second successive day on the show. He saw him in the preview screening of Spiderman 2 he was at yesterday, in a pink polo shirt nonetheless. After Chris’s rant yesterday Dom understandably didn’t say hello, although he did laugh when he saw Tim walk in and this attracted his attention. After this Guess Who, Chris decided to make tomorrow “Tim Vincent free Friday” on the show, with no more mentions of the talentless pillock allowed. Buzz Off today was an absolute 80’s gem - The Power Of Love by Huey Lewis & The News (number 9 on re release in February 86). The text was 87% Buzz On, with Dave then Rach and then an air guitaring Aled all buzzing in within the final five seconds of the song. Dave may have been a bit drunk but he was also a little bit miffed to find out that him and Chappers won’t be on the air in Scotland this Saturday, instead they are being replaced by a T In The Park special with Vic and Gill. Dave said yes it is all about regional diversity, but he would have liked the news to have been broken to him before, and not on a trail just two days before the show. Well if he’d been listening carefully enough he would have found out earlier, as the trails have been running all week.
Chris - Er so if you’re not in Scotland join Chappers and Dave at one o’clock this weekend. Their guests include Ally McCoist....and other Scottish players
(Chris and Dave laugh)
Chris - Henrik Larsson’ll be there
Dave - He’s not Scottish
Chris - No I know
Dave - He’s Swedish y’know. Here’s Franz Ferdinand...
(Hits vocals on Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand as Chris laughs)
We’ll finish with a bit of Vernon Kay defending/Vanessa Feltz bashing by Chris. It was all to do with an article in her Daily Star column today that criticised people such as Tess Daly, Vernon and Cat Deeley as being too non descript to be worth impersonating (this is linked to Alistair McGowan and Ronnie Ancona’s next Big Impression series being their last). Vanessa said Vernon was a muppet with no personality who would be lovely wrapped in cling film, and Tess and Cat both one dimensional eye candy offering nothing else. She wrote “Bring back Cilla and Esther, all is forgiven”. Chris ripped into her brilliantly, but I have a problem with some of what he said. He referred to her as a porker, lardy arse, tubby, fat, fatty and someone who has an opinion on everything. Remind you of anyone folks? He said the only reason Vanessa wants Vernon in cling film is so that she can eat him, as she’s eaten most of the other men she’s met. He also asked if she was insane for wanting Esther Rantzen on TV instead of Cat or Tess. The woman has bigger teeth than Bugs Bunny and her skins falling off for gods sake. Give me Tess, Cat or that fit bird (Holly?) from The Ministry Of Mayhem any day.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
CHRIS from Taunton who clears motorways 2
SIMON an Evertonian from Southport who also works on the highways 1
Drunk Daves Tedious Link (slurred all the way)
Beats International Dub Be Good To Me - Dub Be Good To Me was a number one in February 1990, the same month and year that “Shine On” was a top 20 hit for House Of Love - House Of Love was also the title of a song by East 17 - East 17 featured the vocal talents of singer/songwriter Tony Mortimer - Tony Mortimer shares the same surname as Bob Mortimer, who’s mates with Vic Reeves, who’s real name is actually Jim - Jim McDonald is the father of Steve McDonald in Corrie - Corrie rhymes with lorry, which is the British equivalent of a truck - The plural of truck is trucks, which is also something you’d find on a skateboard - Skateboarding requires elbow pads - Pads of a different type are what you might have to get replaced on your brakes - Breaks are what you should take every 20 minutes or something to stop your eyes getting fatigued by overuse of computer screens - Screens in the world of visual entertainment can consist of the big screen (i.e the movies) or the small screen, which is a term referring to TV programmes such as Countdown or Neighbours - and when you think of Neighbours and the stars it’s created who’ve gone on to become female global music stars, you think of Kylie Minogue - Which links us to Kylie Minogue and Put Yourself In My Place
CHICKS WIN TIX RETURNS
Tomorrow morning with a special edition giving away tickets to this Sunday’s British Grand Prix @ Silverstone. To be in with a shout of winning, just be listening from 7 tomorrow (but ladies only remember).
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=148303#148303">> Thursday July 8th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
1. Scissor Sisters - Laura 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Christina Aguilera - Fighter, 3. Outkast - Roses, 4. Girls Aloud - The Show, 5. BUZZ OFF - Huey Lewis & The News - The Power Of Love, 6. Lostprophets - Last Train Home 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Joe Budden - Pump It Up, 8. Snow Patrol - Spitting Games, 9. Will Young - Friday's Child, 10. Natasha Bedingfield - Single 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Toploader - Dancing In The Moonlight, 12. Usher - Burn, 13. Nelly Furtado - Forca 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 15. Blu Cantrell feat Sean Paul - Breathe, 16. Evanescence - Going Under, 17. Kylie Minogue - Put Yourself In My Place (Tedious Link), 18. Lou Reed - Satellite Of Love (Dab Hands Remix), 19. Ash - Starcrossed, 20. The Hives - Walk Idiot Walk 9:30 NEWSBEAT 21. U2 - Elevation (Tomb Raider Mix), 22. Nina Sky feat Jabba - Move Ya Body, 23. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
Lets just cut to the chase then - Comedy Dave was drunk on the air today. Not completely bladdered, but a little bit tipsy nonetheless. The full reasons behind his drunken condition were not fully explained, but the top and bottom of the matter was that he didn’t leave the pub until *cough* 1am *cough* this morning and didn’t get to bed until almost 2 o’clock. Dave was unsurprisingly the cause of most of the best bits on this morning’s show, including the first link after the 7:00 news, during which Juliette noticed that he had belted up his stomach as opposed to his jeans. Much hilarity ensued, and Dave (upon inspection) revealed that yes, he had missed out a few loops and had belted up his skin. A drunken laugh and slurred sentence followed, which was of concern to Rachel, who said Dave was fine five minutes before the start of the show.
Dom - Oh this is gonna be a great show today!!
Chris thought that ringing Mrs Vitty/Pontefract to see what really happened last night may have been a good idea, but Dave begged with him not to, as Emma is in a real stinking mood this morning...
Dave - Put it this way, at the moment I am not soup d’jour in my house
(Dom, Jules and Chris laugh)
Rachel revealed that she had already spoken to her today, and Dave demanded to know why she had been phoning his wife at such a stupid time in the morning. She said cos he was over an hour and a half late for work. Her point was taken I think. Dave said Emma had called him “irresponsible”, “immature” and a whole bunch of other derogatory terms this morning. He said it was almost as if their house had been burgled overnight and the burglars had stole her sense of humour. Thankfully (for the sake of his marriage) Dave assured Chris that Emma wouldn’t be up yet, and he said he’d moved her radio from the bedroom to the kitchen just in case. She wasn’t overly happy to see him again this morning, as he had to return home just minutes into his car journey to work after realising that he only had one of his contact lenses in. Chris had two words for Dave - Ray Parlour. Dave claimed that Emma would have sent him to the spare room last night if it hadn’t had been for the piles of boxes in there. Her and Dave are round at Chris’s tonight, so they’ll be on separate sofas then no doubt. She apparently “dislikes him intensely” at the moment. Because of Dave's seeming lack of willingness to apologise, Rachel said he had a load of grovelling to do and suggested that he bought Emma a really big present to make up for last night. Obviously he disagreed, but did say that Emma has been nagging him about getting her an eternity ring, which is a ring supposedly qualified for by a year of marriage (and the 23rd of August will be their first wedding anniversary). Rachel said that if he really loved her he’d buy it, but again he disagreed and said that he’d already bought her an engagement ring, a wedding ring and (who could forget) an albeit slightly dusty everlasting rose from the BP garage 4 years ago...yet now she wants another gift!! Chris’s advice was along the lines of sod it get her a bunch of flowers, and Dave was very encouraged by a text coming in that said no eternity ring should be bought until you have had your first child.
Back to Dave’s drunken state for a moment, with one text saying that he sounded a bit like Jim from EastEnders this morning. Chris said that Dave was a disgrace for going out on a school night and told him that he had let the show down, Emma down, the team down...but most importantly himself down. Rach called him unprofessional and Chris said that if Jenny Abramski (head of BBC radio) was listening, he should be fired immediately. Dave couldn’t even be arsed to think up an excuse. Chris said his alcoholic fumes were stinking out the studio, despite his misplaced claims that he was still sober. If anything proved that beyond doubt it was his Tedious Link today, which was slurred all the way through with Dave frequently stopping to catch quick breaths between links. He also ran out of breath during his half time “ready to ramble” precursor, which caused Chris to call him a drunken fool.
Rachel - You’re too high
Dave - Shut your face!
Chris said he’d never seen Dave look so drunk, and camp too as he leaned back to eat his bacon sarnie. Dave said that was outrageous slur on him, which ironically he did in fact slur. I think most people that heard today’s show however, would agree that the best part...was Dave doing drunken Maths.
DAVE DOES DRUNKEN MATHS:
It was all to do with Chris and Scott’s Sport Relief text off, as Dom tried to convert the total texts in so far into pounds and pence, bearing in mind that 70p from each £1 goes to Sport Relief. Dave got out his phone to use the calculator facility, although Chris banned anyone from helping him work out what numbers to crunch to get the figure. He said that yeah the 63 018 texts in so far came out as roughly 45 grand, but with the calculator in hand Chris claimed that he should be able to get the rest of the team an exact answer.
Dave (sighing) - Yeah but y’see I don’t know how to divide by seventy pence
(Dom and Jules in hysterics)
Chris - Why are you dividing?
After a bit of help from Chris, Dave worked out that the sum he needed to be doing was 0.70 x 63 018. The cheers went up and everyone clapped, awaiting Dave’s response...
Dave - Ohhh (makes little cry noise), I can’t find the point button
Chris - Oh for gods sake!!
(all laugh as Chris plays jingle)
Chris decided against going into a record and went back to Dave, who was still struggling. Rachel helped him out but still he couldn’t produce a specific answer (Dave sounded really pissed during this as well). Chris eventually told him to just read out the answer of £44 120.60 from the sheet of paper in front of him, and he duly obliged. Aled told Dave that he was on top form today, and there was much love on the text coming in for Dave too. He said thanks, but wanted to stress that his phone was to blame for the last item and that it wasn't him being numerically illiterate.
Now time for a quick Moyles Mile/Sport Relief round up, what with there being just two days to go until Sport Relief Saturday. The current scores in the Mills/Moyles text vote stand as follows: Chris is on 56 162 and Scott on 24 891, with more than 20 000 coming in during today’s Breakfast Show alone. Chris was again milking his Dad’s illness for all it’s worth, with Greyhead voicing another sob story trail over the Hovis music. Lines today included “yes there will be doctors standing by”, “yes his face will be contorted with pain” and “but no, he won’t flinch from his duty”. Oh and btw, Chris IS definitely going training today. He has a session booked in at 1 with his new trainer, which was arranged before the team headed out to Portugal. Chris said he can’t cancel it now though, so told people in London to look out for him gliding majestically through their streets this afternoon. Dave preferred to tell them to look out for a “hippo with a gammy knee”, which Chris wasn’t best pleased by.
(Don’t forget to check the latest Mills - Moyles text scores by clicking here)
RICHARD WHITELEY LIVE ON THE PHONE:
So just to recap, to talk about Sport Relief this week two of Chris’s guests via phone have been Richard Whiteley and Jo Brand. Think sport, think them. Unlike Jo though, Richard WON’T be running the Sport Relief Mile on Saturday. It’s not because he’s fat and old either, he’s busy at a Sport Relief Battle Of The Channels in Guildford. He’s captaining the Channel 4 team in the five event play off against the BBC, ITV and five. It’s a special version of Superstars, with the remainder of the Channel 4 team consisting of Kevin Sacre (Jake in Hollyoaks), Sunetra Sarker (Angie in No Angels), Brian Dowling and Chris’s bezzy mate Caprice (hmm yeah). Richard thinks they’re gonna win, although as long as he doesn’t take part in any events. Sounds about right to me. Richard said hats off to Chris for doing the mile though, and he urged everyone in Yorkshire to sponsor him and get behind this Saturday’s mile in Roundhay Park. After a brief chat about Richard’s last appearance on the show (in a bar in Leeds one Saturday morning years back), the topic of conversation turned to Countdown. After discussing Vorderman’s current look (positively), Chris arse licked Richard (god what a horrible thought) and said that Countdown was a still a powerhouse of television, an appointment to view and part of the national timetable. However, despite doing the show for 22 years now, Richard is still disappointed by the fact that he’s never had a catchphrase. He said surprisingly “That’s the end of part one, see you in part two” has never really caught on. Chris said his favourite bit of Countdown is the bit after the letters have been picked and the camera cuts back to Richard for him to press the button. Chris said he likes the wacky lines Richard does to try and spice it up, sometimes trying to include words he can see in the letters himself. Chris said he also likes the fact that the Channel 4 subtitlers still subtitle the visible “A” on Vorderman’s board for an “A” on text. Richard said hats off to them as they do a marvellous job, but he wishes they would stop putting audience laughter in brackets, as it makes his jokes seem really bad. That’s just ridiculous though, I mean who would ever put anything about laughter in brackets...
Chris - We should go on dictionary corner one week
(Rachel starts laughing furiously)
Dave - I don’t think we’re intelligent enough for that...
Chris (interrupting) - Whoa whoa whoa, what are you laughing at Rachel?
Rachel - No I think that would be brilliant (carries on laughing)
Chris said he’d love to go on Dictionary Corner, but he didn’t think that him or Dave would be any match for Rik Wakeman, Giles Brandreth or Richard Stilgoe. Apparently Culshaw was asked to do it but never did. Rach said she thought Chris and Dave would be hilarious on there, but they were less sure. Dave said he finds Countdown too difficult and Chris thought he’d be crap as well. Aled added his input to the conversation by saying that he likes the Countdown music...mmm, thanks for that Aled.
ALED’S FLAT IDOL - THE FINAL:>>>>
Today was grand final day, so it was no surprise that Aled wanted to urgently talk to Chris and spring the coincidental news that his two flatmates both now have got jobs. Seriously, what were the chances of that happening eh? He now can’t kick them out, so had to apologise to student Sarah and David from Llandudno (who would have won the chance to live with him). He did say as a consolation prize he’d send them some Chris Moyles mugs, remember as a prize for winning Flat Idol. Chris said he therefore can’t wait for Mug Idol, when they’ll be giving away two flats...nice.
Other stuff on the show today included more bumpkin Darkness courtesy of Hayseed Dixie and Dom having Tim Vincent as a Guess Who for a second successive day on the show. He saw him in the preview screening of Spiderman 2 he was at yesterday, in a pink polo shirt nonetheless. After Chris’s rant yesterday Dom understandably didn’t say hello, although he did laugh when he saw Tim walk in and this attracted his attention. After this Guess Who, Chris decided to make tomorrow “Tim Vincent free Friday” on the show, with no more mentions of the talentless pillock allowed. Buzz Off today was an absolute 80’s gem - The Power Of Love by Huey Lewis & The News (number 9 on re release in February 86). The text was 87% Buzz On, with Dave then Rach and then an air guitaring Aled all buzzing in within the final five seconds of the song. Dave may have been a bit drunk but he was also a little bit miffed to find out that him and Chappers won’t be on the air in Scotland this Saturday, instead they are being replaced by a T In The Park special with Vic and Gill. Dave said yes it is all about regional diversity, but he would have liked the news to have been broken to him before, and not on a trail just two days before the show. Well if he’d been listening carefully enough he would have found out earlier, as the trails have been running all week.
Chris - Er so if you’re not in Scotland join Chappers and Dave at one o’clock this weekend. Their guests include Ally McCoist....and other Scottish players
(Chris and Dave laugh)
Chris - Henrik Larsson’ll be there
Dave - He’s not Scottish
Chris - No I know
Dave - He’s Swedish y’know. Here’s Franz Ferdinand...
(Hits vocals on Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand as Chris laughs)
We’ll finish with a bit of Vernon Kay defending/Vanessa Feltz bashing by Chris. It was all to do with an article in her Daily Star column today that criticised people such as Tess Daly, Vernon and Cat Deeley as being too non descript to be worth impersonating (this is linked to Alistair McGowan and Ronnie Ancona’s next Big Impression series being their last). Vanessa said Vernon was a muppet with no personality who would be lovely wrapped in cling film, and Tess and Cat both one dimensional eye candy offering nothing else. She wrote “Bring back Cilla and Esther, all is forgiven”. Chris ripped into her brilliantly, but I have a problem with some of what he said. He referred to her as a porker, lardy arse, tubby, fat, fatty and someone who has an opinion on everything. Remind you of anyone folks? He said the only reason Vanessa wants Vernon in cling film is so that she can eat him, as she’s eaten most of the other men she’s met. He also asked if she was insane for wanting Esther Rantzen on TV instead of Cat or Tess. The woman has bigger teeth than Bugs Bunny and her skins falling off for gods sake. Give me Tess, Cat or that fit bird (Holly?) from The Ministry Of Mayhem any day.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
CHRIS from Taunton who clears motorways 2
SIMON an Evertonian from Southport who also works on the highways 1
Drunk Daves Tedious Link (slurred all the way)
Beats International Dub Be Good To Me - Dub Be Good To Me was a number one in February 1990, the same month and year that “Shine On” was a top 20 hit for House Of Love - House Of Love was also the title of a song by East 17 - East 17 featured the vocal talents of singer/songwriter Tony Mortimer - Tony Mortimer shares the same surname as Bob Mortimer, who’s mates with Vic Reeves, who’s real name is actually Jim - Jim McDonald is the father of Steve McDonald in Corrie - Corrie rhymes with lorry, which is the British equivalent of a truck - The plural of truck is trucks, which is also something you’d find on a skateboard - Skateboarding requires elbow pads - Pads of a different type are what you might have to get replaced on your brakes - Breaks are what you should take every 20 minutes or something to stop your eyes getting fatigued by overuse of computer screens - Screens in the world of visual entertainment can consist of the big screen (i.e the movies) or the small screen, which is a term referring to TV programmes such as Countdown or Neighbours - and when you think of Neighbours and the stars it’s created who’ve gone on to become female global music stars, you think of Kylie Minogue - Which links us to Kylie Minogue and Put Yourself In My Place
CHICKS WIN TIX RETURNS
Tomorrow morning with a special edition giving away tickets to this Sunday’s British Grand Prix @ Silverstone. To be in with a shout of winning, just be listening from 7 tomorrow (but ladies only remember).
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=148303#148303">> Thursday July 8th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
