chrismoyles.net
- Tue Jul 13, 2004 9:41 am
#241971
1. Christina Aguilera feat Redman - Dirrty 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Lou Reed - Satellite Of Love (Dab Hands Remix), 3. Coldplay - God Put A Smile Upon Your Face, 4. Nina Sky feat Jabba - Move Ya Body, 5. BUZZ OFF - Erasure - Stop!, 6. The Strokes - Reptilia 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Nelly - Hot In Herre, 8. The Streets - Dry Your Eyes, 9. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words, 10. Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Kelly Clarkson - Miss Independent, 12. Snow Patrol - Spitting Games, 13. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. D. Kay & Epsilon feat Stamina MC - Barcelona, 15. Estelle - 1980, 16. Pink - Last To Know, 17. De La Soul - The Magic Number (Tedious Link), 18. The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started, 19. The Libertines - Can't Stand Me Now, 20. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme 9:30 NEWSBEAT 21. Good Charlotte - Girls & Boys, 22. J Kwon - Tipsy, 23. Lionel Richie - Lionel Vinyl, 24. Razorlight - Golden Touch
Dave Pearce is either on a mighty long booze cruise or seriously ill, as he took about his 156th consecutive day off last night - meaning superhero Wes had to step in again. Chris said he is nominating Wes for this week’s “Radio One Unsung Hero Of The Week” award (not that such an award exists), as in the past 39 hours he has done a staggering four shows - including his chart show, two Early Breakfast fill ins for Nemone and one aforementioned Late Drive fill in for Dave Pearce. Good to see he’s earning his cash - as opposed to one three hour slot a week. Today’s show was a bit strange - funny but nowhere as near as good as yesterday, which to be fair would have been asking a lot. Chris began with some Gerald Krasner bashing, as in the sports news he was quoted talking about Leeds’ new “swategy” for the forthcoming Coca Cola Vans Tampax Division...or whatever it’s called. Chris said in his little radio show world Gerald is now Katy Hill’s dad (if you don’t get that check yesterday’s review), and he added that Gerald always reminds him of Norris from Corrie - the interrupting little village busybody that nobody actually likes. He said that his auntie met him at some do in Leeds the other week and she drowned in his chairman spittle as he replied with “Moyles, Moyles...that name rings a bell. Oh is he the one that’s always slagging me off” (note: must read with lisp). Chris went shopping at a high street music games DVD outlet retailer yesterday (oh the mystery) and bought both the Snow Patrol album and the DVD Box Set of Beverly Hills Cop 1, 2 & 3 in the sale. Dave was mighty impressed and him and Aled did their own little interpretation of the theme tune by Axel Foley in what Dave could only refer to as their own “mouth pops”. Buzz Off this morning was Stop! by Erasure from 1989, with all the team loving it - Rachel and Aled in particular. They did their own little “hands in the air” sequence that Chris said made Aled look like some Italian fella trying to stop traffic. Nobody buzzed in until the final five second fade on 2 minutes 40, when it was Dave, Rach and then Aled. The listener vote on 81199 was unsurprisingly Buzz On too. Other music in the show today came in the form of the brilliant Razorlight, the top new tune from Natasha Bedingfield, a brilliant Tedious Link track by De La Soul and erm, Dry Your Eyes from The Streets. Aled didn’t like Chris having a go at Mike/Frank Skinner and said the song was sung beautifully with real passion in his voice. Chris said rubbish, Aled was just a chav lover (cue laughter from Comedy Dave). I’m not too fussed either way to be honest - I’ve never bought a Streets record and won’t be rushing out in a hurry to order my copy of that. Nor the new song from The Libertines either, which got Chris onto the subject of new music after 9 o’clock. He said in his opinion people just aren’t honest enough about music anymore, accusing them all of being bandwagon jumpers like Jo Whiley - he could say that today cos she had the day off again so probably wouldn’t have been listening. Chris tried to convince us that every member of the team has some sort of healthy passion for a particular genre of music - even Aled who can’t help but jump up and down to The Black Eyed Peas, Britney or Girls Aloud...even if other people think they’re crap (I'm getting awful Marco images).
Chris - and then a week or two later I’m finding myself humming Girls Aloud’s song in the shower...and of course he told me I would (stops), although he didn’t tell me I’d be humming it in the shower. I mean it’s not like he sticks his head round the shower curtain going “told you” and I’m like “Aled, get out of my flat”!!
(all laugh)
Chris was getting deeper into this particular subject as he wanted to give a spin to a new record the show had been sent - that wasn’t playlisted...*Dum dum duuuum*...that daring radio maverick eh. Chris said seen as though they only played that Love Freaks song once the other week, he now wants to support this dance track as the shows “summer anthem” instead. It’s being used as an instrumental backing bed on the show at the moment and is actually a remix of All Night Long (All Night) by Lionel Richie...and I'm not joking. The remix sent to them is unknown and just labelled “Lionel Vinyl”, but Chris wanted to play it anyway. Rachel was being her usual self and towing the management line, saying that they should leave it until tomorrow...
Chris - Rachel you’ve got to be confident. This is about me getting passionate about new music...plus all the bosses are away on a conference for two days
(Rachel laughs)
Dave - Oh they are aren’t they
In that case - on it went. Well received on the text and instantly catchy and annoying, Chris claimed he’d have more news on it tomorrow. He did say he could see it being a big hit - and one championed by this show first (and don’t you forget that folks). Moyles said he had images of playlist clerk Alex Jones-Donnelly tapping his feet along to it and John Peel doing a jig to it in his kitchen, which Dave found very funny indeed.
THE MOYLES MINI OLYMPICS - DAY 2:>>>>
TODAY’S EVENT - HOCKEY...or to be more precise mini air hockey.
(Dom celebrates his victory, the air hockey erm rink itself, and Dave in fake shock after his defeat)
So today was Day 2 of The Moyles Mini Olympics, with the big prize on Friday don’t forget being a two day trip for two to Athens to see the Diving, Athletics, Basketball and Taekwondo at The Olympic Games. Today’s two contestants battling it out for a place in the Friday final were Jane, a trainee legal executive from Southampton and Matthew from Crewe, who works for a medical company. Matthew said he’d love to go and see the Diving in particular if he were to be the overall winner...
Dave - Do you like diving?
Matthew - Great stuff yeah
Dave - Mega
Chris berated Vitty for trying to do his childish rude joke and did a great Fast Show esque “suits you sir” impression about “diving in a swimming pool, trunks, mmm”. Funny stuff. Uncreative Jane picked Dave “The Hong Kong Hockey King” Vitty to represent her in today’s event, while Matthew went for “Dominic Killer Byrne”. The rules of Mini Moyles hockey were that if someone scored within the first 10 seconds it’d be the first to three, but after that first goal wins. After some unforeseen puck problems, Dominic stormed to victory with a 15th second goal upon restart - meaning that Matthew is the next to join yesterday’s winner Martin in the studio for Friday’s final. Sticking with the subject of The Olympics, Chris wanted an investigation into the tickets on this months BBC gravy train, as Sue Carter from Newsbeat is out reporting in Athens a month before the whole thing begins. Jules said she actually goes out there on Monday for a 2 day reccy - checking out stuff on her Olympic sport. Yeah right, we all know she’ll be looking for the nearest bars, pubs and Greek supermarkets with cheap booze in. Chris asked Jules if she’d therefore be reading the sport into the show live from Athens on Monday and Tuesday, but she had to kindly remind him that he’s on holiday next week.
WHEN DOM MET (THE LOVELY) KIRSTEN:
(ahh Kirsten Dunst....oh and some bald headed fella on the left)
So yesterday was the big Spiderman 2 premiere in London’s Leicester Square, with all the top A list celebs (and Samantha Mumba) on show. Well she certainly was anyway. Prior to the premiere though, Dominic *friend of the stars* Byrne and Will *I’ll just stand in the background and try not to stare at her* Kinder both went to meet star of the film and all round babe Kirsten Dunst (not Kirsten Dunstable) in some swanky London hotel. Dom denied that he’d “fallen for her” as Chris put it, although I don’t know why as I certainly have and I’ve never even met her. However granted Dom is eight years older than her while I’m six years younger. Chris unbelievably called Kirsten a “plain Jane” which I dispute, although Dom unbelievably revealed that they just shook hands and he missed out on the opportunity of a peck on the cheek. Whenever I’ve seen Kirsten interviewed (be it on MTV, Letterman or Leno) she always seemed fairly disinterested in discussing her films, and yesterday was no exception. She was therefore delighted to hear that Dom was one of your wacky random type interviewers, and gladly answered questions on olives, cheese and the pedestrianisation of Swindon town centre - although she couldn’t discuss Hong Kong Phooey as she’d never seen it. Dave called her a philistine. Dom explained to her who he was and she half heartedly promised to buy some Hong Kong Phooey DVD’s before she leaves the country. She revealed she hates olives but likes olive oil, and we also found out that her favourite cheeses are some weird mozzarella thing and Parmesan. With Dom quickly getting wound up by the wind up woman, he scurried frantically onto talking about the pedestrianisation of Swindon Town Centre (as discussed yesterday). Kirsten was obviously reluctant to commit to adding her name to the “Save Swindon From The Cars” scheme (if there is one) without full details, but she did pick up a sudden fascination with the place Swindon and promised to visit there soon. She was so fascinated that when asked to record a drop saying “I listen to Chris Moyles” blah blah blah, she just recorded one saying “Swindon - thumbs up”. Not exactly what Chris was after but a nice touch nevertheless. Well let’s face it, Dom was hardly going to argue with her and spoil the “special time” they had together (jammy git). One text came in saying “Move over Parky, Dom’s time has come”...hmm debatable. It's probably a good idea at this point to add that the film is meant to be very good - thanks.
(Kirsten and Tobey Maguire @ The Spiderman 2 Premiere in London last night)
DAVE’S TRAILS, FRUIT CHAT AND THE BIGGEST ARSE ON THE SHOW:
Radio One’s Summer “Get Your Kit On” campaign is up and underway, with Chappers and Dave voicing a few One Life trails this week ahead of their appearance at Radio One On The Road In Norwich this Saturday. Chris just laughed at Dave’s pathetic whiny voice on the first trail he played today, saying that he almost crashed the car when he heard that driving around yesterday afternoon. By the time the next one came around he was more annoyed, as remember he was the one appealing for voiceover work yesterday. His mood soon lifted though and he had to stop the trail half way through as him and Dave were in stitches. This at the news Chappers and Dave’s show tease on the trail is “Power kiting, karate and McFly - all this Saturday”. He asked where he went to get his tickets (you don’t, it’s free btw). The trail got better though - Edith Bowman and Girls Aloud in a Sportspark on Sunday (Chris’s ideal dream) and....wait for it, Blazin Squad co hosting the Sunday Surgery with Dr Mark and Emma B on Sunday night. The inevitable Blazin Squad piss take followed, and Chris said it promised to be a wild weekend for sure...but sadly he can’t make it as he’s too busy washing his car. Newsreader extroadinaire Dominic Byrne was of course born in Norwich, although granted he hasn’t been back in 25 years (says it all). Dom said Norwich is quite close to Pleasurewood Hills though, which is a theme park in between Lowestoft and Great Yarmouth off the A12. Chris had never heard of it before so did a Google search and got onto their official website (here). He then searched for the various attractions there - which include The Fireball, Mega-Drop, The Waltzer, Magic Mouse, Sky Screamer, Cannonball Express and Pirate Ship...
Dom - Stick Blazin Squad on a pirate ship Dave
Chris - ...and don’t tie them in
(Jules and Dom laugh)
(Full details on Radio One On The Road can be found here)
Dave is boycotting all bread this week in a mini experiment. He read something about it making you all sluggish and bloated in a Sunday magazine, so is trying to see if he feels more sprightly without it by the end of a week. Rach said he wouldn’t as it’s a good source of carbohydrate, plus Dave has already encountered one problem - he had toast for Breakfast yesterday (what a mistaker to maker). In place of bread today, he had two bananas for Breakfast...good mornin. Jocelyn had one too, as did Rachel. Aled surprisingly doesn’t like a banana, as he said he hates all fruit. Unbelievable as I don’t know what I’d do without fruit, although I do agree with Dave that proper oranges are a pain in the arse as there’s loads of skin to get off. Satsumas/tangerines on the other hand, well there’s a different story. Rach said she even bought a peach yesterday, although Dave said he didn’t like the stones in them. As this point Chris butted in and said he was sorry to interrupt Radio One’s Fruit and Veg hour (sponsored by Liptons tea), but he had to move on soon before he lost the will to live. The topic of conversation turned to Big Brother and cute Shell’s fat arse. Chris said granted it was nowhere near as big as Rachels, which sparked a big studio debate. Rachel claimed Chris’s arse was bigger than hers and they both lined up for examination from Dave, Aled and Joce. The collective agreement was that Chris’s girth was bigger, which in turn meant he had a bigger arse. Moyles didn’t agree with Joce saying Rach had a “pert bottom” either, saying that it was the size of a small toddler and like a baby elephant wrapped in cling film.
Rach - You’re so mean. I’m gonna be in therapy this afternoon
Chris - Are you? What time’s that?
Dave - I thought you were going to Weightwatchers
(all laugh)
Dave claimed that his arse was clearly the best bum on the team (I’d go for Juliette’s myself), but Aled said it clearly wasn’t as Dave’s put on a bit of weight down their lately. Chris said chunky, flabby and squidgy arse over there couldn’t talk. Aled told him not to diss the UK’s rear of the year. Chris said OK so instead turned to slating his short, fat and hairy legs - which he said were definitely not “muscular footballers legs” as Aled had described them. He said from the waist down Aled was an oompa loompa, surely one insult to make a mental note of and use as your own in conversation *makes mental note as types*.
(Seen as though I have no actual pictures of the team comparing their arses, I thought I’d just stick in a picture of an arse - so say hello to Dr Fox...)
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
ALAN a roof tiler from the newly pedestrianised Swindon 2
NIKKI an irritating Starbucks area manager from Netherton 1
Daves Tedious Link
Foo Fighters Breakout - Breakout was also a hit for Swing Out Sister, whose narky lead singer (that Chris doesn’t like) used to have a crap pudding-bowl haircut a bit like Clint Boon from The Inspiral Carpets - The Inspiral Carpets used to have a roadie called Noel Gallagher - Noel Gallagher supports Manchester City, who’ve just bought Danny Mills from Leeds - Leeds is the home of Jimmy Saville - Saville Row in London is famous for making suits - Suits of a different type are integral to any game of cards - Cards are kept in a pack, as are wolves - Wolves are managed by Dave Jones, who used to manage Stockport County - County rhymes with Bounty, which is a taste of paradise - “Paradise” shares many of the same letters as “parasite”, which is something that lives on board and sucks the blood from another animal - Other things famous for sucking blood are vampires - Vampires come from Transylvania, which is also the home of The Cheeky Girls - and The Cheeky Girls had two major hits in 2003, with “Take Your Shoes Off” and “Hooray Hooray It’s A Cheeky Holiday”, which both amazingly charted at number 3, so for them I suppose you could say that 3 was their magic number - Which links us (thankfully not to The Cheeky Girls but) to De La Soul and The Magic Number
SLIGHT TECHNICALITY
*Danny Mills signed for Man City on a free transfer so wasn’t technically “bought” as such
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8127">> Tuesday July 13th 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
Dave Pearce is either on a mighty long booze cruise or seriously ill, as he took about his 156th consecutive day off last night - meaning superhero Wes had to step in again. Chris said he is nominating Wes for this week’s “Radio One Unsung Hero Of The Week” award (not that such an award exists), as in the past 39 hours he has done a staggering four shows - including his chart show, two Early Breakfast fill ins for Nemone and one aforementioned Late Drive fill in for Dave Pearce. Good to see he’s earning his cash - as opposed to one three hour slot a week. Today’s show was a bit strange - funny but nowhere as near as good as yesterday, which to be fair would have been asking a lot. Chris began with some Gerald Krasner bashing, as in the sports news he was quoted talking about Leeds’ new “swategy” for the forthcoming Coca Cola Vans Tampax Division...or whatever it’s called. Chris said in his little radio show world Gerald is now Katy Hill’s dad (if you don’t get that check yesterday’s review), and he added that Gerald always reminds him of Norris from Corrie - the interrupting little village busybody that nobody actually likes. He said that his auntie met him at some do in Leeds the other week and she drowned in his chairman spittle as he replied with “Moyles, Moyles...that name rings a bell. Oh is he the one that’s always slagging me off” (note: must read with lisp). Chris went shopping at a high street music games DVD outlet retailer yesterday (oh the mystery) and bought both the Snow Patrol album and the DVD Box Set of Beverly Hills Cop 1, 2 & 3 in the sale. Dave was mighty impressed and him and Aled did their own little interpretation of the theme tune by Axel Foley in what Dave could only refer to as their own “mouth pops”. Buzz Off this morning was Stop! by Erasure from 1989, with all the team loving it - Rachel and Aled in particular. They did their own little “hands in the air” sequence that Chris said made Aled look like some Italian fella trying to stop traffic. Nobody buzzed in until the final five second fade on 2 minutes 40, when it was Dave, Rach and then Aled. The listener vote on 81199 was unsurprisingly Buzz On too. Other music in the show today came in the form of the brilliant Razorlight, the top new tune from Natasha Bedingfield, a brilliant Tedious Link track by De La Soul and erm, Dry Your Eyes from The Streets. Aled didn’t like Chris having a go at Mike/Frank Skinner and said the song was sung beautifully with real passion in his voice. Chris said rubbish, Aled was just a chav lover (cue laughter from Comedy Dave). I’m not too fussed either way to be honest - I’ve never bought a Streets record and won’t be rushing out in a hurry to order my copy of that. Nor the new song from The Libertines either, which got Chris onto the subject of new music after 9 o’clock. He said in his opinion people just aren’t honest enough about music anymore, accusing them all of being bandwagon jumpers like Jo Whiley - he could say that today cos she had the day off again so probably wouldn’t have been listening. Chris tried to convince us that every member of the team has some sort of healthy passion for a particular genre of music - even Aled who can’t help but jump up and down to The Black Eyed Peas, Britney or Girls Aloud...even if other people think they’re crap (I'm getting awful Marco images).
Chris - and then a week or two later I’m finding myself humming Girls Aloud’s song in the shower...and of course he told me I would (stops), although he didn’t tell me I’d be humming it in the shower. I mean it’s not like he sticks his head round the shower curtain going “told you” and I’m like “Aled, get out of my flat”!!
(all laugh)
Chris was getting deeper into this particular subject as he wanted to give a spin to a new record the show had been sent - that wasn’t playlisted...*Dum dum duuuum*...that daring radio maverick eh. Chris said seen as though they only played that Love Freaks song once the other week, he now wants to support this dance track as the shows “summer anthem” instead. It’s being used as an instrumental backing bed on the show at the moment and is actually a remix of All Night Long (All Night) by Lionel Richie...and I'm not joking. The remix sent to them is unknown and just labelled “Lionel Vinyl”, but Chris wanted to play it anyway. Rachel was being her usual self and towing the management line, saying that they should leave it until tomorrow...
Chris - Rachel you’ve got to be confident. This is about me getting passionate about new music...plus all the bosses are away on a conference for two days
(Rachel laughs)
Dave - Oh they are aren’t they
In that case - on it went. Well received on the text and instantly catchy and annoying, Chris claimed he’d have more news on it tomorrow. He did say he could see it being a big hit - and one championed by this show first (and don’t you forget that folks). Moyles said he had images of playlist clerk Alex Jones-Donnelly tapping his feet along to it and John Peel doing a jig to it in his kitchen, which Dave found very funny indeed.
THE MOYLES MINI OLYMPICS - DAY 2:>>>>
TODAY’S EVENT - HOCKEY...or to be more precise mini air hockey.
(Dom celebrates his victory, the air hockey erm rink itself, and Dave in fake shock after his defeat)
So today was Day 2 of The Moyles Mini Olympics, with the big prize on Friday don’t forget being a two day trip for two to Athens to see the Diving, Athletics, Basketball and Taekwondo at The Olympic Games. Today’s two contestants battling it out for a place in the Friday final were Jane, a trainee legal executive from Southampton and Matthew from Crewe, who works for a medical company. Matthew said he’d love to go and see the Diving in particular if he were to be the overall winner...
Dave - Do you like diving?
Matthew - Great stuff yeah
Dave - Mega
Chris berated Vitty for trying to do his childish rude joke and did a great Fast Show esque “suits you sir” impression about “diving in a swimming pool, trunks, mmm”. Funny stuff. Uncreative Jane picked Dave “The Hong Kong Hockey King” Vitty to represent her in today’s event, while Matthew went for “Dominic Killer Byrne”. The rules of Mini Moyles hockey were that if someone scored within the first 10 seconds it’d be the first to three, but after that first goal wins. After some unforeseen puck problems, Dominic stormed to victory with a 15th second goal upon restart - meaning that Matthew is the next to join yesterday’s winner Martin in the studio for Friday’s final. Sticking with the subject of The Olympics, Chris wanted an investigation into the tickets on this months BBC gravy train, as Sue Carter from Newsbeat is out reporting in Athens a month before the whole thing begins. Jules said she actually goes out there on Monday for a 2 day reccy - checking out stuff on her Olympic sport. Yeah right, we all know she’ll be looking for the nearest bars, pubs and Greek supermarkets with cheap booze in. Chris asked Jules if she’d therefore be reading the sport into the show live from Athens on Monday and Tuesday, but she had to kindly remind him that he’s on holiday next week.
WHEN DOM MET (THE LOVELY) KIRSTEN:
(ahh Kirsten Dunst....oh and some bald headed fella on the left)
So yesterday was the big Spiderman 2 premiere in London’s Leicester Square, with all the top A list celebs (and Samantha Mumba) on show. Well she certainly was anyway. Prior to the premiere though, Dominic *friend of the stars* Byrne and Will *I’ll just stand in the background and try not to stare at her* Kinder both went to meet star of the film and all round babe Kirsten Dunst (not Kirsten Dunstable) in some swanky London hotel. Dom denied that he’d “fallen for her” as Chris put it, although I don’t know why as I certainly have and I’ve never even met her. However granted Dom is eight years older than her while I’m six years younger. Chris unbelievably called Kirsten a “plain Jane” which I dispute, although Dom unbelievably revealed that they just shook hands and he missed out on the opportunity of a peck on the cheek. Whenever I’ve seen Kirsten interviewed (be it on MTV, Letterman or Leno) she always seemed fairly disinterested in discussing her films, and yesterday was no exception. She was therefore delighted to hear that Dom was one of your wacky random type interviewers, and gladly answered questions on olives, cheese and the pedestrianisation of Swindon town centre - although she couldn’t discuss Hong Kong Phooey as she’d never seen it. Dave called her a philistine. Dom explained to her who he was and she half heartedly promised to buy some Hong Kong Phooey DVD’s before she leaves the country. She revealed she hates olives but likes olive oil, and we also found out that her favourite cheeses are some weird mozzarella thing and Parmesan. With Dom quickly getting wound up by the wind up woman, he scurried frantically onto talking about the pedestrianisation of Swindon Town Centre (as discussed yesterday). Kirsten was obviously reluctant to commit to adding her name to the “Save Swindon From The Cars” scheme (if there is one) without full details, but she did pick up a sudden fascination with the place Swindon and promised to visit there soon. She was so fascinated that when asked to record a drop saying “I listen to Chris Moyles” blah blah blah, she just recorded one saying “Swindon - thumbs up”. Not exactly what Chris was after but a nice touch nevertheless. Well let’s face it, Dom was hardly going to argue with her and spoil the “special time” they had together (jammy git). One text came in saying “Move over Parky, Dom’s time has come”...hmm debatable. It's probably a good idea at this point to add that the film is meant to be very good - thanks.
(Kirsten and Tobey Maguire @ The Spiderman 2 Premiere in London last night)
DAVE’S TRAILS, FRUIT CHAT AND THE BIGGEST ARSE ON THE SHOW:
Radio One’s Summer “Get Your Kit On” campaign is up and underway, with Chappers and Dave voicing a few One Life trails this week ahead of their appearance at Radio One On The Road In Norwich this Saturday. Chris just laughed at Dave’s pathetic whiny voice on the first trail he played today, saying that he almost crashed the car when he heard that driving around yesterday afternoon. By the time the next one came around he was more annoyed, as remember he was the one appealing for voiceover work yesterday. His mood soon lifted though and he had to stop the trail half way through as him and Dave were in stitches. This at the news Chappers and Dave’s show tease on the trail is “Power kiting, karate and McFly - all this Saturday”. He asked where he went to get his tickets (you don’t, it’s free btw). The trail got better though - Edith Bowman and Girls Aloud in a Sportspark on Sunday (Chris’s ideal dream) and....wait for it, Blazin Squad co hosting the Sunday Surgery with Dr Mark and Emma B on Sunday night. The inevitable Blazin Squad piss take followed, and Chris said it promised to be a wild weekend for sure...but sadly he can’t make it as he’s too busy washing his car. Newsreader extroadinaire Dominic Byrne was of course born in Norwich, although granted he hasn’t been back in 25 years (says it all). Dom said Norwich is quite close to Pleasurewood Hills though, which is a theme park in between Lowestoft and Great Yarmouth off the A12. Chris had never heard of it before so did a Google search and got onto their official website (here). He then searched for the various attractions there - which include The Fireball, Mega-Drop, The Waltzer, Magic Mouse, Sky Screamer, Cannonball Express and Pirate Ship...
Dom - Stick Blazin Squad on a pirate ship Dave
Chris - ...and don’t tie them in
(Jules and Dom laugh)
(Full details on Radio One On The Road can be found here)
Dave is boycotting all bread this week in a mini experiment. He read something about it making you all sluggish and bloated in a Sunday magazine, so is trying to see if he feels more sprightly without it by the end of a week. Rach said he wouldn’t as it’s a good source of carbohydrate, plus Dave has already encountered one problem - he had toast for Breakfast yesterday (what a mistaker to maker). In place of bread today, he had two bananas for Breakfast...good mornin. Jocelyn had one too, as did Rachel. Aled surprisingly doesn’t like a banana, as he said he hates all fruit. Unbelievable as I don’t know what I’d do without fruit, although I do agree with Dave that proper oranges are a pain in the arse as there’s loads of skin to get off. Satsumas/tangerines on the other hand, well there’s a different story. Rach said she even bought a peach yesterday, although Dave said he didn’t like the stones in them. As this point Chris butted in and said he was sorry to interrupt Radio One’s Fruit and Veg hour (sponsored by Liptons tea), but he had to move on soon before he lost the will to live. The topic of conversation turned to Big Brother and cute Shell’s fat arse. Chris said granted it was nowhere near as big as Rachels, which sparked a big studio debate. Rachel claimed Chris’s arse was bigger than hers and they both lined up for examination from Dave, Aled and Joce. The collective agreement was that Chris’s girth was bigger, which in turn meant he had a bigger arse. Moyles didn’t agree with Joce saying Rach had a “pert bottom” either, saying that it was the size of a small toddler and like a baby elephant wrapped in cling film.
Rach - You’re so mean. I’m gonna be in therapy this afternoon
Chris - Are you? What time’s that?
Dave - I thought you were going to Weightwatchers
(all laugh)
Dave claimed that his arse was clearly the best bum on the team (I’d go for Juliette’s myself), but Aled said it clearly wasn’t as Dave’s put on a bit of weight down their lately. Chris said chunky, flabby and squidgy arse over there couldn’t talk. Aled told him not to diss the UK’s rear of the year. Chris said OK so instead turned to slating his short, fat and hairy legs - which he said were definitely not “muscular footballers legs” as Aled had described them. He said from the waist down Aled was an oompa loompa, surely one insult to make a mental note of and use as your own in conversation *makes mental note as types*.
(Seen as though I have no actual pictures of the team comparing their arses, I thought I’d just stick in a picture of an arse - so say hello to Dr Fox...)
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
ALAN a roof tiler from the newly pedestrianised Swindon 2
NIKKI an irritating Starbucks area manager from Netherton 1
Daves Tedious Link
Foo Fighters Breakout - Breakout was also a hit for Swing Out Sister, whose narky lead singer (that Chris doesn’t like) used to have a crap pudding-bowl haircut a bit like Clint Boon from The Inspiral Carpets - The Inspiral Carpets used to have a roadie called Noel Gallagher - Noel Gallagher supports Manchester City, who’ve just bought Danny Mills from Leeds - Leeds is the home of Jimmy Saville - Saville Row in London is famous for making suits - Suits of a different type are integral to any game of cards - Cards are kept in a pack, as are wolves - Wolves are managed by Dave Jones, who used to manage Stockport County - County rhymes with Bounty, which is a taste of paradise - “Paradise” shares many of the same letters as “parasite”, which is something that lives on board and sucks the blood from another animal - Other things famous for sucking blood are vampires - Vampires come from Transylvania, which is also the home of The Cheeky Girls - and The Cheeky Girls had two major hits in 2003, with “Take Your Shoes Off” and “Hooray Hooray It’s A Cheeky Holiday”, which both amazingly charted at number 3, so for them I suppose you could say that 3 was their magic number - Which links us (thankfully not to The Cheeky Girls but) to De La Soul and The Magic Number
SLIGHT TECHNICALITY
*Danny Mills signed for Man City on a free transfer so wasn’t technically “bought” as such
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8127">> Tuesday July 13th 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
