chrismoyles.net
- Wed Aug 04, 2004 6:14 pm
#241982
(Left To Right: Comedy Dave, a fit looking Rachel, Will Smith, Jocelyn, Moyles, Aled and Greyhead)
1. Scissor Sisters - Laura 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Universally Speaking, 3. Twista feat Anthony Hamilton - Sunshine, 4. No Doubt - It’s My Life, 5. BUZZ OFF - Adam & The Ants - Antmusic, 6. Jamelia - See It In A Boy's Eyes 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Stereophonics - Have A Nice Day, 8. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words, 9. Mousse T feat Emma Lanford - Is It Cos I'm Cool?, 10. The Black Eyed Peas feat Justin Timberlake - Where Is The Love 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Outkast - Hey Ya, 12. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 13. TLC - No Scrubs 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. The Streets - Dry Your Eyes, 15. Snow Patrol - Spitting Games, 16. N*E*R*D - She Wants To Move, 17. Michael Jackson - Beat It (Tedious Link), 18. D12 - How Come, 19. Sugababes - Caught In A Moment 9:30 NEWSBEAT 20. Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending, 21. DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Boom! Shake The Room, 22. 3 Of A Kind - Baby Cakes
Will Smith - what a guest. Perhaps the best on Breakfast so far and it’s just a shame he didn’t have more time with Chris and the team. Despite what I said the other day, I shouldn’t be surprised that the final hour of the show is now ranked highest in the RAJARS as day after day it is consistently funnier than the previous two (not that they aren’t still funny you understand). Although I still prefer Breakfast it probably proves some people’s point that the show works best in long rambling links that used to be the afternoon show trademark, with half time quickly turning into a bit of a jewel in the crown of daytime Radio One (along with Your Call). We’ll get to Will Smith later on but will first try and run through some of the other stuff on today’s show, and boy there’s a hell of a lot to get through. We’ll start with the news that a tanned, foxy and seemingly slimmer looking Rachel (see above pic) returned to the show a day earlier than planned from her break in LA. Monday and yesterday’s acting producer Will did join proceedings at ten past 8 though, with Chris calling it “producer heaven” this morning. He suggested they get Rhys, Ben, Richard Murdock and knitting Hannah Brown back in just to complete the full set. Next on the agenda is Chris’s usual round of early morning complaints - today mainly focusing on Nemone’s backtiming and the crap weather in London. Moyles still had a go at Nemone even though she finished bang on time at 6:55, this also despite her telling him not to give her grief on the talkback. Dave said Chris really is a stickler when it comes to timings. I feel less guilty when Chris picks on Wes and not Nemone, and Butters is taking over Early Breakfast for 2 weeks from tomorrow - this as Nemone is in turn covering Jo Whiley’s show for 2 weeks, as Jo’s off on her hols (Chris said she must have got one of those cheap last minute deals or something). I was out last night in the torrential downpours and thunderstorms in and around Manchester, and it seems it was a similar story down in London Village too. Chris’s missus Sophie took five and a half hours to get home in the awful conditions, deciding to stop off half way through that time for something to eat as she was going nowhere. Chris and Daves alfresco pub lunch was also affected by the weather yesterday, with the topic of conversation quickly switching to what they had to eat. Both had large portions of fish and chips and bangers and mash respectively, although to be fair they were slightly larger than they had anticipated. Chris had two huge slabs of fish and a gigantic plate of chips (the King Size meal is 3 flabs of fish), while Dave had six sausages with his mash and a huge bank of thick gravy to go with it too (the King Size version is unbelievably 9 sausages). Dave thought it “a bit too flamboyant” to go for that option though. Juliette called him a big fat porker as he admitted that he did actually eat all six of the sausages on his plate. Vitty said his flat got slightly flooded yesterday so he had taken all the necessary towel and bucket precautions before he came to work this morning - just in case a huge downpour caused any more leaks while him and Emma were out. Jules on the other hand was totally unaware of the viscous thunder and flooding that was wreaking havoc in certain parts of London last night:
Jules - Well it wasn’t thundering where I was last night
Chris - Yeah but under the bar you probably didn’t get any rain, you know what I mean..
(plays jingle)
(New Juliette pic fellas...)
There was a bit of footy chat on the show this morning, this following on from Everton, Leeds and Man U’s friendly results last night. Dave’s beloved Blues beat Sheffield Wednesday (Reserves) 6-3, Leeds drew 1-1 with York and Man U beat PSV Eindhoven 1-0 on telly in the Vodafone Cup. Chris explained the Vodafone Cup points system to Dave and Jules, saying that teams also gained a point per goal plus the regulation three for a win and one for a draw etc. Therefore (had they been playing in the Vodafone Cup) Everton would have won a real 9 pointer last night...
Chris - A bit like Juliette
Dave - No that’s a nine pinter
Chris - Oh yeah you’re right
In my opinion there was a bit of a gulf in class between this morning’s Buzz Off and Tedious Link tracks. Beat It by MJ (chamone hee hee) was Dave’s Tedious, while Chris’s Buzz Off selection was Antmusic by Adam & The Ants (number 2 in December 1980). I seem to be on my own in thinking Antmusic isn't that good as the listener vote was 78% Buzz On and over three minutes of the song was played in full. Aled was first to buzz in on 0:36, then Rach next on 1:34 and Dave finally on 3:15. Aside from those two tracks and classic TLC the music was pretty much the same as ever, although I have to admit I do like that new Sugababes single.
BB ALED’S BIG BROTHER UPDATE, HALF TIME AND TODAY’S JINGLE CHALLENGE:>>
Tonight is surprise eviction night in BB5, with Jason and Stuart the Radio One staff’s favourites to get the axe in fifth position. Aled hates Jason but likes Stuart, although Chris and Dave just think Stuart’s dull and a bit of a wet blanket. Chris said he is one of the thickest contestants in Big Brother history, not one of the cleverest. Despite the staff poll, Shell still remains favourite to go tonight with the bookies. Aled played in a clip of her from the show and asked Chris if he had any questions for him to ask her at the press conference tonight...
Chris - Yeah, “Will you go for a drink with Chris Moyles?”
Dave and Moyles agreed that Shell is probably one of the best looking people to have ever been in Big Brother (alongside Kate and Sophie from BB3 in my opinion). Chris called her a little sexpot and said she’d be perfect with a bit of working class in her...if you pardon the expression. Aled said that if Jason gets the boot he’s just gonna tell him he hates him to his face at the press conference, which will make fabulous radio. Aled opened the text for BB questions on 81199. Tonight’s shows are at 9pm and 10:30pm on Channel 4, intermitted by Peter Kay Live At The MEN Arena, which Dave is looking forward to a lot. As half time got underway, Chris said the Kill Bill music never reminded him of Uma Thurman in a beautiful jump suit...but of Rachel and her now fast becoming legendary Carpark Catchphrase line. Rach asked who had done it these past two days and after hearing it was Aled trying to impersonate her, she demanded a demonstration of his patronising and insulting impression. She wasn’t best pleased, although Chris did realise Aled’s high pitched voice was perfect for classic Monty Python sketches. Dave said he thought Monty Python was overrated in many respects, and listed his top four comedy actors/comedians as the aforementioned Peter Kay, Ted Danson, Steve Gutenberg and his personal favourite...Mr Chevy Chase. Rach said it was stuff like this that made it really odd coming back and remembering how everyone is. Chris informed us all of the text she sent the team at roughly 6am on Monday (10pm LA time), saying she hoped they were all in work and she was just off to lie in the hot tub. Chris sent one back saying they hoped she drowned. How sweet eh. The big jingle singer challenge was back on this morning for Day number three, the team taking quite a while when deciding on today’s word after the 8am news. Possible contenders were spatula, gerbil, banjo, quiche, photosynthesis, synomonous, pontification, disestablishmentarianism (gulp) and erm, cat (Aled’s choice). In the end the team settled on Dave’s “commissariat”, the French word for police. They agreed it was nice and authoritative, and half an hour later the jingle team came back with the following jingle...piss poor may I add.
”We’ve been challenged by Chris Moyles to get in certain words,
That fit into this jingle, no matter how absurd,
So here’s the days new jingle word - commissariat,
It also rhymes with Heriot, a medieval death duty,
The Chris Moyles Show, Education For The Nation, National Radio One”
WHEN DOM MET HALLE - PLUS WILL SMITH ON HIS WAY:>>>>
Dom and Greyhead went off to yet another swanky London hotel suite to interview star of Catwoman Halle Berry yesterday. Both said it went really well when they returned to Radio One that afternoon. Dom said she had nice teeth (mmm bellas teeth) and Will was also quoted as saying he found her “pleasing to the eye”. Chris wasn’t particularly happy with the interview this morning though, as it seemed to be an awful lot of Dom and not much of Halle.
Chris - So far she’s said diddly!
Dom - Yeah but she looked fantastic
Chris - Well yeah but that doesn’t make a great interview does it?!!
Dom - Well, it does. Anyway...
In fact with all of Dom’s questions edited out and all of Halle’s answers mixed into a montage, they lasted for a total of just 22 seconds. I repeat, 22 seconds from a 5-10 minute interview. It was quite uncomfortable listening at times...
Chris - Do you ever think she hated you?
Dom - No not at...(stops), well “hate” is a strong word isn’t it?
Chris - Right (laughs)
Dave - Disliked intensely?
Chris - Loathed?
Dave - Well scared of...possibly
Chris - Yeah
Things we found out from the interview then - :
*Halle has indeed killed a wasp...it was a slow death
*Her mum is from Liverpool but (much to Dave’s dismay) she isn’t an Everton fan, in fact she’s never even heard of them before. Dom said a billion thanks to Dave for this question as Halle gave him that “really don’t ask me about that again” look. Dave said that he took this as somewhat of a showbiz scoop as it proves once and for all that Halle shouldn’t be on the Celebrity Toffee Fans Page of the website.
*Halle will yes go to a local pub for a drink with Greyhead, who was sitting on the floor with wires and stuff. Chris said Halle is obviously yet to find out that Will is notoriously tight, oh and will ask for a fiver for a cab home too.
*Her favourite cheese is some soft, not so creamy one that no ones ever heard of. It sounded like Monster Munch though...
*No she won’t accompany Moyles to the premiere of his new film Wimbledon (clip included a great ass kissing fake laugh from Dom btw). Will said him and Dom had a great story about this actually. They bumped into James King at this hotel and told him about Chris being in Wimbledon. James said he’s actually seen a rough cut of the film and revealed that it already features a DJ, who it turns out Chris will be replacing. That DJ is...Danny Baker (cue much hilarity in studio). Chris said he hopes they don’t edit him out in favour of Danny...
Chris - Do you know, when friends ask me about this movie I’m gonna say it’s the one with Kirsten Dunst in and not the one with Danny Baker in...(Dom laughs)...no offence Danny
(Friend of the stars Mr Dominic Byrne. Tis official - Michael Parkinson is bricking himself...)
As you may have guessed, there was the expected plethora of “Big Willy” double entendres before Will arrived on the show today, with Sophie’s parting words to Chris this morning being “have fun with Big Willy”. Chris said she’s never said that to him before in his life...and come to think of it neither has he to her. It’s all about the personality folks.
Chris (over N*E*R*D intro) - Later on Will and I will teach you the ways of the Big Willy
Dave (laughing) - mmm. I look forward to that...
Rachel (laughs) - and me
Chris - What?
Rachel - and me
Chris - Oh no, I think you know more than you realise..
(Rachel laughs)
As a way of research ahead of Will coming on the show today, Chris, Dave, Aled and Jocelyn all went off to watch his new movie iRobot just before lunch yesterday. Dave (who as we all know struggles with plotlines) managed to understand it all, recommending all the listeners in listener land go see it at their local cinema asap.
(link interrupted by the sound of glass dropping)
Dave - Oooh sorry
Chris - What, was that your glass eye falling out again?
(Rachel and Dave erupt into fits of laughter)
BIG WILLY ON THE CHRIS MOYLES SHOW (*calm down Aled*):
Will eventually arrived in the studio off the back of a trail at 9:25, saying that that time was a great omen as his birthday is 9/25, i.e September 25th. Will said his appearance as a guest on the afternoon show four years ago definitely ranks as one of the pinnacles of his glittering career. Chris said it was good to have Will back...four years later.
Chris - We obviously made a great impression on you
(Will laughs)
Will got on really well with everyone and was a brilliant guest, finding Chris and Dave very funny. In particular when they indulged in some classic Dukes Of Hazzard impressions and when Chris played him the Music4 jingle about him being on the show today:
”Got Will Smith live on air today, was known as The Fresh Prince,
Came on the show four years ago and hasn’t been on since,
Now he’s got to make it up to Moylesy, you and me,
Take all of us to Hollywood to star in Men In Black 3,
The Chris Moyles Show, National Radio One”
With Will being such a big star, Dom and Jules even scampered off upstairs to read the 9:30 news and sport from the Newsbeat studio, which they haven’t done before this year on Breakfast. Chris was grateful and it was very surreal to hear him and Dom chatting to Will Smith about One Road Travel. Chris said Will smelt nice this morning, comparing his stench to fruity smoked ham. Rachel said it reminded her of rosemary and peppermint shampoo. Will said it was actually Aveda...
Dave - What’s Aveda?
Will - You’ve not heard of Aveda?
Dave - No
Will - It’s a product...
Dave (interrupting) - I’ve heard of Darth Vader
Will - ....(laughs)
Chris explained to Will that it was a contractual stipulation he went to see iRobot yesterday, which he thought was a very good film. He didn’t understand why Will didn’t just kick a load of the robots he was fighting in their nuts though. Will explained that they were known as “ronuts”. Dave said the film is a great ad for Audi with all the TT’s in it, although the wheels on them seemed to be like boulders in the Flintstones. Will explained that they were actually balls for wheels...
Chris - It’s a car with balls?
Dave - Ronuts
(Chris & Will laugh)
(Read James King’s excellent review of iRobot here and listen to his oneclick/film show here)
Moyles and Will chatted briefly about The Fresh Prince and Chris’s new film Wimbledon. Chris asked Will if he’d consider him for future movie roles now he’s a big Hollywood exec movie director. Will said sure, as their relationship was still strong after 4 years so would no doubt sustain the test of time.
Will - I’m just gonna let my people get in touch with your people and we’ll sort something out
Dave - mmm
Chris - We could just swap numbers?
Will - Well, erm...but no, they’ll sort it...it’s better, erm...
Dave (interrupting) - You smell nice
(Will & Chris laugh)
Dave - I’m just trying to help this whole thing along
(Will laughs)
Eventually the suits from Fox came into the studio and virtually dragged Will away. Chris was very constrained considering he sees record/film company people entering the studio as the ultimate sin. When Will had left though he ripped into them and suggested the team all take a trip down to their office tomorrow and just walk into the middle of a meeting without asking, standing at the back. Chris also added that now Will wouldn’t be listening to the show, Dave, Joce and Aled all fell asleep during the screening of iRobot yesterday. Beautiful.
Chris - Right thanks for listening to the show today then, thanks to Dominic and Juliette for having to run upstairs to read the news at half nine
Dom - No problem
Jules - We did it (pause)
Chris - Did you? No wonder you’re out of breath!...(all laugh)...I thought it took you a while to get downstairs. I just presumed the lift was broken again
(Dave laughs)
NO CARPARK CATCHPHRASE TODAY -
Due to the big man coming on the show after 9 this morning, there was no time for Roy Walker and Mr Fish today. All you Carpark fans will have to wait until tomorrow to catch the next edition of Carpark Catchphrase, at around 9:45. Oh and if you’re wondering, Rachel did her usual CPC line but said “The lines are now not open for Carpark Catchphrase...” etc.
Daves Tedious Link
Take That Everything Changes - The phrase “everything changes” is very similar to “all change”, which is something you would expect to hear over a tannoy when your train or bus has reached it’s final destination - Final Destination was a film all about a plane crash and in that respect shares something in common with other plane crash films such as Alive - Alive starred Ethan Hawke and was all about a South American rugby team who’s plane crashed in the Andes and they had to take it in turns to eat each other - People who eat each other are called cannibals - If you add the words “fine” and “young” to the front of the word “cannibals” you get Fine Young Cannibals, who were led by singer songwriter Roland Gift - A gift is what you might buy a friend or loved one on their birthday or on an important anniversary - The amount of letters that make up the word “anniversary” numbers exactly eleven, which bizarrely is also the number of people that make up a football team - The word “team” is actually an anagram of the word “meat” - Meat rhymes with beat - and when you think of the word “beat” in the context of Michael Jackson hits from the year 1983, you think of Beat It by Michael Jackson - Which amazingly links us to Michael Jackson and Beat It
TERMINOLOGY PROBLEM
*Dave said granted his use of the term “they had to take it in turns to eat each other” was a bit misleading, provoking a rather large reaction on the text messages. One quite rightly pointed out that this wasn’t the case as “those dead dudes” didn’t eat anyone.
MINI MOYLES DAILY UPDATE:>>>>
*Will Smith will be at the premiere of iRobot tonight, but will he have his Moyles Mug?
*BB Aled will have eviction news and press conference clips tomorrow at 8:15
*Dave's taken the day off to wait for the man who will scotchguard his new sofa, but he's done all the work for the morning anyway
*Chris and Jocelyn are spending the day battling it out with “Shocking Guns” - "Gun fighting without the bruises, but with the electric shocks". Nice...
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8217">> Wednesday August 4th 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
(Left To Right: Comedy Dave, a fit looking Rachel, Will Smith, Jocelyn, Moyles, Aled and Greyhead)
1. Scissor Sisters - Laura 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Universally Speaking, 3. Twista feat Anthony Hamilton - Sunshine, 4. No Doubt - It’s My Life, 5. BUZZ OFF - Adam & The Ants - Antmusic, 6. Jamelia - See It In A Boy's Eyes 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Stereophonics - Have A Nice Day, 8. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words, 9. Mousse T feat Emma Lanford - Is It Cos I'm Cool?, 10. The Black Eyed Peas feat Justin Timberlake - Where Is The Love 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Outkast - Hey Ya, 12. Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme, 13. TLC - No Scrubs 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. The Streets - Dry Your Eyes, 15. Snow Patrol - Spitting Games, 16. N*E*R*D - She Wants To Move, 17. Michael Jackson - Beat It (Tedious Link), 18. D12 - How Come, 19. Sugababes - Caught In A Moment 9:30 NEWSBEAT 20. Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending, 21. DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Boom! Shake The Room, 22. 3 Of A Kind - Baby Cakes
Will Smith - what a guest. Perhaps the best on Breakfast so far and it’s just a shame he didn’t have more time with Chris and the team. Despite what I said the other day, I shouldn’t be surprised that the final hour of the show is now ranked highest in the RAJARS as day after day it is consistently funnier than the previous two (not that they aren’t still funny you understand). Although I still prefer Breakfast it probably proves some people’s point that the show works best in long rambling links that used to be the afternoon show trademark, with half time quickly turning into a bit of a jewel in the crown of daytime Radio One (along with Your Call). We’ll get to Will Smith later on but will first try and run through some of the other stuff on today’s show, and boy there’s a hell of a lot to get through. We’ll start with the news that a tanned, foxy and seemingly slimmer looking Rachel (see above pic) returned to the show a day earlier than planned from her break in LA. Monday and yesterday’s acting producer Will did join proceedings at ten past 8 though, with Chris calling it “producer heaven” this morning. He suggested they get Rhys, Ben, Richard Murdock and knitting Hannah Brown back in just to complete the full set. Next on the agenda is Chris’s usual round of early morning complaints - today mainly focusing on Nemone’s backtiming and the crap weather in London. Moyles still had a go at Nemone even though she finished bang on time at 6:55, this also despite her telling him not to give her grief on the talkback. Dave said Chris really is a stickler when it comes to timings. I feel less guilty when Chris picks on Wes and not Nemone, and Butters is taking over Early Breakfast for 2 weeks from tomorrow - this as Nemone is in turn covering Jo Whiley’s show for 2 weeks, as Jo’s off on her hols (Chris said she must have got one of those cheap last minute deals or something). I was out last night in the torrential downpours and thunderstorms in and around Manchester, and it seems it was a similar story down in London Village too. Chris’s missus Sophie took five and a half hours to get home in the awful conditions, deciding to stop off half way through that time for something to eat as she was going nowhere. Chris and Daves alfresco pub lunch was also affected by the weather yesterday, with the topic of conversation quickly switching to what they had to eat. Both had large portions of fish and chips and bangers and mash respectively, although to be fair they were slightly larger than they had anticipated. Chris had two huge slabs of fish and a gigantic plate of chips (the King Size meal is 3 flabs of fish), while Dave had six sausages with his mash and a huge bank of thick gravy to go with it too (the King Size version is unbelievably 9 sausages). Dave thought it “a bit too flamboyant” to go for that option though. Juliette called him a big fat porker as he admitted that he did actually eat all six of the sausages on his plate. Vitty said his flat got slightly flooded yesterday so he had taken all the necessary towel and bucket precautions before he came to work this morning - just in case a huge downpour caused any more leaks while him and Emma were out. Jules on the other hand was totally unaware of the viscous thunder and flooding that was wreaking havoc in certain parts of London last night:
Jules - Well it wasn’t thundering where I was last night
Chris - Yeah but under the bar you probably didn’t get any rain, you know what I mean..
(plays jingle)
(New Juliette pic fellas...)
There was a bit of footy chat on the show this morning, this following on from Everton, Leeds and Man U’s friendly results last night. Dave’s beloved Blues beat Sheffield Wednesday (Reserves) 6-3, Leeds drew 1-1 with York and Man U beat PSV Eindhoven 1-0 on telly in the Vodafone Cup. Chris explained the Vodafone Cup points system to Dave and Jules, saying that teams also gained a point per goal plus the regulation three for a win and one for a draw etc. Therefore (had they been playing in the Vodafone Cup) Everton would have won a real 9 pointer last night...
Chris - A bit like Juliette
Dave - No that’s a nine pinter
Chris - Oh yeah you’re right
In my opinion there was a bit of a gulf in class between this morning’s Buzz Off and Tedious Link tracks. Beat It by MJ (chamone hee hee) was Dave’s Tedious, while Chris’s Buzz Off selection was Antmusic by Adam & The Ants (number 2 in December 1980). I seem to be on my own in thinking Antmusic isn't that good as the listener vote was 78% Buzz On and over three minutes of the song was played in full. Aled was first to buzz in on 0:36, then Rach next on 1:34 and Dave finally on 3:15. Aside from those two tracks and classic TLC the music was pretty much the same as ever, although I have to admit I do like that new Sugababes single.
BB ALED’S BIG BROTHER UPDATE, HALF TIME AND TODAY’S JINGLE CHALLENGE:>>
Tonight is surprise eviction night in BB5, with Jason and Stuart the Radio One staff’s favourites to get the axe in fifth position. Aled hates Jason but likes Stuart, although Chris and Dave just think Stuart’s dull and a bit of a wet blanket. Chris said he is one of the thickest contestants in Big Brother history, not one of the cleverest. Despite the staff poll, Shell still remains favourite to go tonight with the bookies. Aled played in a clip of her from the show and asked Chris if he had any questions for him to ask her at the press conference tonight...
Chris - Yeah, “Will you go for a drink with Chris Moyles?”
Dave and Moyles agreed that Shell is probably one of the best looking people to have ever been in Big Brother (alongside Kate and Sophie from BB3 in my opinion). Chris called her a little sexpot and said she’d be perfect with a bit of working class in her...if you pardon the expression. Aled said that if Jason gets the boot he’s just gonna tell him he hates him to his face at the press conference, which will make fabulous radio. Aled opened the text for BB questions on 81199. Tonight’s shows are at 9pm and 10:30pm on Channel 4, intermitted by Peter Kay Live At The MEN Arena, which Dave is looking forward to a lot. As half time got underway, Chris said the Kill Bill music never reminded him of Uma Thurman in a beautiful jump suit...but of Rachel and her now fast becoming legendary Carpark Catchphrase line. Rach asked who had done it these past two days and after hearing it was Aled trying to impersonate her, she demanded a demonstration of his patronising and insulting impression. She wasn’t best pleased, although Chris did realise Aled’s high pitched voice was perfect for classic Monty Python sketches. Dave said he thought Monty Python was overrated in many respects, and listed his top four comedy actors/comedians as the aforementioned Peter Kay, Ted Danson, Steve Gutenberg and his personal favourite...Mr Chevy Chase. Rach said it was stuff like this that made it really odd coming back and remembering how everyone is. Chris informed us all of the text she sent the team at roughly 6am on Monday (10pm LA time), saying she hoped they were all in work and she was just off to lie in the hot tub. Chris sent one back saying they hoped she drowned. How sweet eh. The big jingle singer challenge was back on this morning for Day number three, the team taking quite a while when deciding on today’s word after the 8am news. Possible contenders were spatula, gerbil, banjo, quiche, photosynthesis, synomonous, pontification, disestablishmentarianism (gulp) and erm, cat (Aled’s choice). In the end the team settled on Dave’s “commissariat”, the French word for police. They agreed it was nice and authoritative, and half an hour later the jingle team came back with the following jingle...piss poor may I add.
”We’ve been challenged by Chris Moyles to get in certain words,
That fit into this jingle, no matter how absurd,
So here’s the days new jingle word - commissariat,
It also rhymes with Heriot, a medieval death duty,
The Chris Moyles Show, Education For The Nation, National Radio One”
WHEN DOM MET HALLE - PLUS WILL SMITH ON HIS WAY:>>>>
Dom and Greyhead went off to yet another swanky London hotel suite to interview star of Catwoman Halle Berry yesterday. Both said it went really well when they returned to Radio One that afternoon. Dom said she had nice teeth (mmm bellas teeth) and Will was also quoted as saying he found her “pleasing to the eye”. Chris wasn’t particularly happy with the interview this morning though, as it seemed to be an awful lot of Dom and not much of Halle.
Chris - So far she’s said diddly!
Dom - Yeah but she looked fantastic
Chris - Well yeah but that doesn’t make a great interview does it?!!
Dom - Well, it does. Anyway...
In fact with all of Dom’s questions edited out and all of Halle’s answers mixed into a montage, they lasted for a total of just 22 seconds. I repeat, 22 seconds from a 5-10 minute interview. It was quite uncomfortable listening at times...
Chris - Do you ever think she hated you?
Dom - No not at...(stops), well “hate” is a strong word isn’t it?
Chris - Right (laughs)
Dave - Disliked intensely?
Chris - Loathed?
Dave - Well scared of...possibly
Chris - Yeah
Things we found out from the interview then - :
*Halle has indeed killed a wasp...it was a slow death
*Her mum is from Liverpool but (much to Dave’s dismay) she isn’t an Everton fan, in fact she’s never even heard of them before. Dom said a billion thanks to Dave for this question as Halle gave him that “really don’t ask me about that again” look. Dave said that he took this as somewhat of a showbiz scoop as it proves once and for all that Halle shouldn’t be on the Celebrity Toffee Fans Page of the website.
*Halle will yes go to a local pub for a drink with Greyhead, who was sitting on the floor with wires and stuff. Chris said Halle is obviously yet to find out that Will is notoriously tight, oh and will ask for a fiver for a cab home too.
*Her favourite cheese is some soft, not so creamy one that no ones ever heard of. It sounded like Monster Munch though...
*No she won’t accompany Moyles to the premiere of his new film Wimbledon (clip included a great ass kissing fake laugh from Dom btw). Will said him and Dom had a great story about this actually. They bumped into James King at this hotel and told him about Chris being in Wimbledon. James said he’s actually seen a rough cut of the film and revealed that it already features a DJ, who it turns out Chris will be replacing. That DJ is...Danny Baker (cue much hilarity in studio). Chris said he hopes they don’t edit him out in favour of Danny...
Chris - Do you know, when friends ask me about this movie I’m gonna say it’s the one with Kirsten Dunst in and not the one with Danny Baker in...(Dom laughs)...no offence Danny
(Friend of the stars Mr Dominic Byrne. Tis official - Michael Parkinson is bricking himself...)
As you may have guessed, there was the expected plethora of “Big Willy” double entendres before Will arrived on the show today, with Sophie’s parting words to Chris this morning being “have fun with Big Willy”. Chris said she’s never said that to him before in his life...and come to think of it neither has he to her. It’s all about the personality folks.
Chris (over N*E*R*D intro) - Later on Will and I will teach you the ways of the Big Willy
Dave (laughing) - mmm. I look forward to that...
Rachel (laughs) - and me
Chris - What?
Rachel - and me
Chris - Oh no, I think you know more than you realise..
(Rachel laughs)
As a way of research ahead of Will coming on the show today, Chris, Dave, Aled and Jocelyn all went off to watch his new movie iRobot just before lunch yesterday. Dave (who as we all know struggles with plotlines) managed to understand it all, recommending all the listeners in listener land go see it at their local cinema asap.
(link interrupted by the sound of glass dropping)
Dave - Oooh sorry
Chris - What, was that your glass eye falling out again?
(Rachel and Dave erupt into fits of laughter)
BIG WILLY ON THE CHRIS MOYLES SHOW (*calm down Aled*):
Will eventually arrived in the studio off the back of a trail at 9:25, saying that that time was a great omen as his birthday is 9/25, i.e September 25th. Will said his appearance as a guest on the afternoon show four years ago definitely ranks as one of the pinnacles of his glittering career. Chris said it was good to have Will back...four years later.
Chris - We obviously made a great impression on you
(Will laughs)
Will got on really well with everyone and was a brilliant guest, finding Chris and Dave very funny. In particular when they indulged in some classic Dukes Of Hazzard impressions and when Chris played him the Music4 jingle about him being on the show today:
”Got Will Smith live on air today, was known as The Fresh Prince,
Came on the show four years ago and hasn’t been on since,
Now he’s got to make it up to Moylesy, you and me,
Take all of us to Hollywood to star in Men In Black 3,
The Chris Moyles Show, National Radio One”
With Will being such a big star, Dom and Jules even scampered off upstairs to read the 9:30 news and sport from the Newsbeat studio, which they haven’t done before this year on Breakfast. Chris was grateful and it was very surreal to hear him and Dom chatting to Will Smith about One Road Travel. Chris said Will smelt nice this morning, comparing his stench to fruity smoked ham. Rachel said it reminded her of rosemary and peppermint shampoo. Will said it was actually Aveda...
Dave - What’s Aveda?
Will - You’ve not heard of Aveda?
Dave - No
Will - It’s a product...
Dave (interrupting) - I’ve heard of Darth Vader
Will - ....(laughs)
Chris explained to Will that it was a contractual stipulation he went to see iRobot yesterday, which he thought was a very good film. He didn’t understand why Will didn’t just kick a load of the robots he was fighting in their nuts though. Will explained that they were known as “ronuts”. Dave said the film is a great ad for Audi with all the TT’s in it, although the wheels on them seemed to be like boulders in the Flintstones. Will explained that they were actually balls for wheels...
Chris - It’s a car with balls?
Dave - Ronuts
(Chris & Will laugh)
(Read James King’s excellent review of iRobot here and listen to his oneclick/film show here)
Moyles and Will chatted briefly about The Fresh Prince and Chris’s new film Wimbledon. Chris asked Will if he’d consider him for future movie roles now he’s a big Hollywood exec movie director. Will said sure, as their relationship was still strong after 4 years so would no doubt sustain the test of time.
Will - I’m just gonna let my people get in touch with your people and we’ll sort something out
Dave - mmm
Chris - We could just swap numbers?
Will - Well, erm...but no, they’ll sort it...it’s better, erm...
Dave (interrupting) - You smell nice
(Will & Chris laugh)
Dave - I’m just trying to help this whole thing along
(Will laughs)
Eventually the suits from Fox came into the studio and virtually dragged Will away. Chris was very constrained considering he sees record/film company people entering the studio as the ultimate sin. When Will had left though he ripped into them and suggested the team all take a trip down to their office tomorrow and just walk into the middle of a meeting without asking, standing at the back. Chris also added that now Will wouldn’t be listening to the show, Dave, Joce and Aled all fell asleep during the screening of iRobot yesterday. Beautiful.
Chris - Right thanks for listening to the show today then, thanks to Dominic and Juliette for having to run upstairs to read the news at half nine
Dom - No problem
Jules - We did it (pause)
Chris - Did you? No wonder you’re out of breath!...(all laugh)...I thought it took you a while to get downstairs. I just presumed the lift was broken again
(Dave laughs)
NO CARPARK CATCHPHRASE TODAY -
Due to the big man coming on the show after 9 this morning, there was no time for Roy Walker and Mr Fish today. All you Carpark fans will have to wait until tomorrow to catch the next edition of Carpark Catchphrase, at around 9:45. Oh and if you’re wondering, Rachel did her usual CPC line but said “The lines are now not open for Carpark Catchphrase...” etc.
Daves Tedious Link
Take That Everything Changes - The phrase “everything changes” is very similar to “all change”, which is something you would expect to hear over a tannoy when your train or bus has reached it’s final destination - Final Destination was a film all about a plane crash and in that respect shares something in common with other plane crash films such as Alive - Alive starred Ethan Hawke and was all about a South American rugby team who’s plane crashed in the Andes and they had to take it in turns to eat each other - People who eat each other are called cannibals - If you add the words “fine” and “young” to the front of the word “cannibals” you get Fine Young Cannibals, who were led by singer songwriter Roland Gift - A gift is what you might buy a friend or loved one on their birthday or on an important anniversary - The amount of letters that make up the word “anniversary” numbers exactly eleven, which bizarrely is also the number of people that make up a football team - The word “team” is actually an anagram of the word “meat” - Meat rhymes with beat - and when you think of the word “beat” in the context of Michael Jackson hits from the year 1983, you think of Beat It by Michael Jackson - Which amazingly links us to Michael Jackson and Beat It
TERMINOLOGY PROBLEM
*Dave said granted his use of the term “they had to take it in turns to eat each other” was a bit misleading, provoking a rather large reaction on the text messages. One quite rightly pointed out that this wasn’t the case as “those dead dudes” didn’t eat anyone.
MINI MOYLES DAILY UPDATE:>>>>
*Will Smith will be at the premiere of iRobot tonight, but will he have his Moyles Mug?
*BB Aled will have eviction news and press conference clips tomorrow at 8:15
*Dave's taken the day off to wait for the man who will scotchguard his new sofa, but he's done all the work for the morning anyway
*Chris and Jocelyn are spending the day battling it out with “Shocking Guns” - "Gun fighting without the bruises, but with the electric shocks". Nice...
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8217">> Wednesday August 4th 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
