chrismoyles.net
- Fri Aug 20, 2004 10:15 am
#241994
(Jules live in Athens at the end of her second week at the Olympics)
1. Razorlight - Golden Touch 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Shakedown - At Night, 3. Franz Ferdinand - Michael, 4. D12 - How Come, 5. BUZZ OFF - Right Said Fred - Deeply Dippy, 6. Pink - Last To Know 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. The 411 - Dumb, 8. Coldplay - God Put A Smile Upon Your Face, 9. Armand Van Helden - My My My 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Jennifer Lopez - Love Don't Cost A Thing, 11. Lostprophets - Last Summer, 12. Brian McFadden - Real To Me 8:30 NEWSBEAT 13. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words, 14. The Darkness - Growing On Me, 15. goldielookinchain - Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do, 16. Black Box - Ride On Time (Tedious Link), 17. Jo Jo - Leave (Get Out), 18. Nelly - My Place, 19. Eric Prydz - Call On Me 9:30 NEWSBEAT 20. Mary J Blige - Family Affair, 21. Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved, 22. 3 Of A Kind - Baby Cakes
Chris and Dave both sounded knackered as hell at the start of the show today, blaming their lack of sleep and ridiculously early alarm calls. Chris said he really does hate getting up so early in the morning now - although JK and Joel make it so much easier. Dave said he can’t have a radio on when he awakes from his slumber though, as it wakes Emma. Chris said to be fair he doesn’t listen when he gets up either...only when he gets into work. At the end of their final Early Breakfast cover JK joked that he’d wait for Moyles outside at 10 o’clock with a baseball bat.
Chris - ...which is stupid cos I don’t even play baseball!
(starts Razorlight)
Chris - Besides we’ve got a meeting at ten so I couldn’t go off anyway to play
Dave - mmm
The show was half decent today. Not brilliant, but by no means rubbish. After his on air plea yesterday, Chris has been sorted out with tickets for the V Festival this weekend. Only problem being, he wants a few more pairs so that his mate can come...
Chris - Now I don’t want to come across as greedy..
Dave (interrupting) - But you do
(Chris and Dave laugh)
With his tickets in the bag, Chris is now looking for an upgrade. That’s right, one that doesn’t say “AAA pass - with the exception of:” and then have an attached laminate that takes 10 minutes to read. Chris said go on then, he’ll be honest with us - he’s actually after upgrades, car park passes and extra tickets for Benny and Julie - two young orphans he’s been looking after recently...
Dom - How old are the orphans if they’ve got a car?
(Dave and Rach laugh)
Chris - Er... (laughs)
It was a bit of a bizarre beginning to the show today actually - mainly consisting of chat about Michael Bolton, circumcision and air trumpeters. Now that's what you call cutting edge kids. Today’s Buzz Off track was Right Said Fred, and more specifically their March 1992 number one Deeply Dippy. Rock on. Miserable Rach was the only one on the team to buzz in before the song ended - by quite a margin. She buzzed after just 11 seconds with Aled and Dave following over 3 minutes later. The text percentage was 61% Buzz On. Chris played a trail and then did a time check:
Chris - It’s 7:27. It’s Friday morning, the weekend is here from Radio One...well actually it’s from God, we just claim it
Dave - We love weekends
Chris - Oh yeah
Yesterday Chris decided to make a few impulse DVD purchases at a popular high street retailer in London. He spent a fortune on the following:
- Kill Bill Volume 2 (I no longer think it’s better than Volume 1 - Joint DVD out at Xmas folks)
- The Original Batman Movie (Nicholson and all that...)
- Seven (starring Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow and Morgan Freeman)
- Season 3 of 24
- Roland Rat TVAM 20th Anniversary Special
Rach - What did you buy that for?
Dave - Cos he’s a mentalist
- Volume 2 of He-Man and The Masters Of The Human Universe
- Shrek The Movie 3D Special (The first one as he’s yet to see it. Same here)
Giddy Aled - Can I come over and watch it with you?
Chris - No
Chris said he doesn’t like to discuss money on the air as it’s crude, but those DVD’s cost him just short of what his Prada sandals did. And on that subject, Chris said some woman came up to him in Ikea on Sunday and asked if the sandals he were wearing were the £100+ ones he talks about on the radio. Chris said yeah, and she replied:
Woman - Comedy Dave was right, you were ripped off (walks off)
(Rach, Aled and Dave laugh)
DOM GETS RIBBED:
Get this then. Newsreading slaphead Dom went for a kip yesterday afternoon and woke up with a broken rib. Well that’s according to him anyway. He said it was an excruciating right sided rib area pain that still hurts him like hell now, every time he stands up or turns right. Ranking at 7 on the pain scale too, a self medicating Dom was in need of help. Now as we all know Chris and Dave are not official doctors like Doctor Fox, proven by their advice to Dom today - go for a really big dump and a fart. I’m no one to be telling Chris what to do (I’m just a fan after all) but you can see why some critics have a go at him when prime time links are like this one, mainly all about the team’s toilet habits. Not really breakfast radio at it’s best.
Rachel - Oh please!! Do we really have to discuss this on air??!!
Thankfully not. Instead they had a proper doctor on the phone to diagnose Dom live to the nation - Dr. Mark Hamilton off of that there Radio One. Mark was just off on his way to work at Manchester Royal Infirmary, but said he could wait a few minutes as people would understand if he was talking to Chris.
Dave - How can they wait? You work in Accident and Emergency don’t you?...
(Dave, Chris, Dom and Mark laugh)
Mark agreed with Chris - Dom shouldn’t spontaneously break a rib like that. After a few moments of audio diagnosis, Mark said he thought Dom had Tietz syndrome - which basically means that the joint between his rib and his cartilage has become inflamed and extremely tender. Chris asked Mark if Dom is going to die. He replied "He is eventually, but not from this”. I’m sure Mark said exactly the same answer to exactly the same question with both Chris last year and Daves conjunctivitis t’other month. My favourite text on the whole thing was “Please Chris, poke Dom in the ribs”. Genius. Dr. Mark and Emma B are back Sunday @ 9 with The Sunday Surgery, and Chris said he’s found himself becoming a bit of an agony uncle himself recently...advising a female friend that her lack of period and persistent tummy ache may be something to do with high stress at work or a change of diet. Dr. Mark said he’s clearly been listening to the show too much then.
Dave (butting in) - and also when women have this time, their temperature can be higher and they move around more in bed
(all laugh)
Dr. Mark - That’s too much TV Dave
Dave - No I’ve seen it, they have more restless sleep..
Rach was quite impressed with Dr. Chris (not Dr. Dave) and said that she’ll next to come to him if she has any problems. Chris told her never to forget he’s always available when she needs him...unless he’s in the pub or the bookies. Chris said they better let Mark get off from his rib chat so he can go to the Surgery and see people with their eyes hanging out and arms dropping off.
Dr. Mark - That’s showbiz though
(Sunday @ 9 on R1 or @ http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife/sundaysurgery)
- Dr. Mark Hamilton “Disc Jockey Doctor” Interview: Here
JULIETTE LIVE IN ATHENS:>>>>
(Jules covering the Sailing for Five Live - overlooking The Olympic Mariner in Athens)
Jules has now been in Athens for a fortnight and the games are a week old...so it’s about time we got our first god damn gold medal. It came in the Sailing yesterday - and an over excited Jules phoned Chris to tell him the good news straight away, this as he was just getting out of his afternoon bath. *Cue the snippet of Gold by Spandau Ballet* (it’s been on standby for a week). The three blond girls who won in the Yngling class yesterday (don’t ask) were Shirley Robertson, Sarah Webb and Sarah Ayton. Chris asked if they were flat chested like most female athletes...
Jules - They’re not Chris
Chris - Really?
Jules - No, they’re buxom lasses..
Chris (laughs) - Buxom lasses, they’ll love that...
Dave said 3 girls in a top heavy loveboat then. Jules said he was just fantasising now. She also thinks Chris will like Sarah Ayton the most, who’s 24 and very pretty. Good mornin'. Jules is promising 2 more GB Sailing Golds tomorrow, which is her busiest day of the weekend. On Sunday she’s going to the Acropolis (no not the local nightclub) and tonight she's going out to play. Chris asked her if she’s going to do her “Hello I’m Vernon Kay from Bolton, Come on Team GB” line again. So feminine...
Chris - or as Vernon said
*plays Vernon clip from yesterday* - Is that a girl?
(all laugh)
(- JULIETTE’S RADIO ONE ONLINE OLYMPIC DIARY)
(- JULIETTE’S RADIO ONE ONLINE OLYMPIC PHOTOS)
THE CHRIS MOYLES PENALTY SHOOT OUT AND SECRET STUDENT STUFF:>>>>
Week 2 then of the new look Premiership tickets competition on the show, which I have to admit ran (albeit only a bit) quicker and better than last week. This’ll be the last time I explain the rules but basically it’s two fans against each other in a Best Of 3 Penalty Shoot Out, i.e each caller gets played a clip preceding three penalties and has to guess whether the player scores or misses. Best out of three wins - simple. This weeks tickets were for Sunday’s West Midlands derby at The Hawthorns between West Brom and Villa. They were home end seats, so Baggies fans Richard (a lorry driver) and Phil (a grocer) were on the air to play The Chris Moyles Show Penalty Shoot Out:
RICHARD VERSUS PHIL:>>>
RICHARD - David Beckham Vs Turkey (Missed - Wrong), Dion Dublin Vs Liverpool (Scored - Wrong)
PHIL - Thierry Henry Vs Newcastle (Scored - Correct), Henrik Larsson Vs Denmark (Scored - Correct)
Phil’s quick victory has now put him in a bit of a pickle as regards this weekend. He was supposed to be driving down to Bristol on Saturday night with his fiancee to see her dad and talk wedding stuff. The game is a 1pm Sunday kick off though, so he’s screwed. He claims he’s definitely going to find a way to get to the game, although it seems a big barney is on the cards now. Dave said him and Emma had a row last night as he tried to persuade her to let him go to the Palace - Everton game on their first wedding anniversary weekend. Chris said it’s funny how these women seem to rank anniversaries and couple stuff way ahead of important football games. Talking of important football games, Leeds don't have one against Forest in the Championship at Elland Road tomorrow. After launching the shows new “Secret Student” feature yesterday, today saw Chris and Dave running through a few of the early candidates, who had entered by leaving voice messages on 08700 100 100 (Option 3). Obviously all identities were kept anonymous but here’s who we heard from this morning:
*An "irritating" party animal and gossiping girly from the South Of England
*A bloke from the Midlands who needs pizza vouchers and doesn’t like baked beans
*Another over confident and slightly annoying girl who does lots of charidee work
*A bloke called Dan who had tried to get through to Scott Mills’s show but hit the wrong key
*A 5ft 8 long legged blonde who would love to win as that would mean meeting Chris Moyles. She then said they could hook up, go out and get drunk sometime - and also let her introduce him to all her girl mates at uni who she’ll be sharing a room with. We have a winner then. Chris and Dave said she’s definitely in the lead so far, even though she does say “I’m a long legged blonde past my shoulders” at one point...
Dave - Legs past her shoulders? (laughs) That’s not right, not unless you’re doing yoga
(Rach laughs)
Chris - Well I tell you what, if she can get her legs over her shoulders she’s won already!!!
Dave (laughs) - No further applications needed
**(You can still call 08700 100 100 and go to Option 3 - more details here)**
A SCARY CARPARK CATCHPHRASE (FOR RACHEL):
PAUL a bit of a knobhead who works at Rick Steins restaurant (mmm bellas fish) 2
CRAIG some psychopathic Scottish builder obsessed with Rachel 1
**One hell of a CPC today...but for all the wrong reasons. I mean at the times we weren’t using subtitles just to understand the callers, they were either trying to be funny or trying to score with the producer of the programme. Chris wasn’t happy with Jocelyn’s choice of callers again and asked what he had done to deserve this pair of muppets. He said a good plan for 10 o’clock would be to line Aled and Joce up and just fire basketballs at their heads in a Dodgeball stylee. Dumb ass Craig asked who Josh was, and Chris had to explain that he was talking about “Joce”, as in Jocelyn - the Irish girl he’d just been speaking on the phone to for five minutes. Craig said cut the bull anyway - he just wanted to speak to Rachel. Rach said she was too busy working to talk, although Craig just wanted a signed photo of her whether or not he won the game. She sounded very scared and uncomfortable, although Craig said he’s not bad...
Dave - Well you’re certainly not good on the caller front
Craig said he was on the web the other day and saw the pic of Rach looking gorgeous with Will Smith. While it’s true she was looking good in that photo, Craig was quickly reaching stalker status and Aled cut him off before he could do anything else. Chris promised Craig one of Rachel’s signed bras as a consolation prize, although he was obviously lying and said he’d send him one of his own instead. He’ll never know...**
Daves Tedious Link
Tori Amos Cornflake Girl - Tori Amos’s initials are TA, which is also the initials of the territorial army - The territorial army are often busy at the weekends and in that respect share something in common with Vernon Kay - Vernon Kay is from Bolton - Bolton first name Michael is a legendary singer from America who scored a top 17 hit in 1992 with Steel Bars - Steel bars are what you’d find on the windows of a prison - Prison or more precisely a prison stretch is often referred to as doing porridge - Porridge was the breakfast of choice for the three little bears - The three little bears were mates with Goldilocks, who was scared of the big bad wolf - If you add “were” to wolf you get werewolf, which is like a fictional cross between a wolf and a person, as in the American werewolf in London - London is the capital of England - England is a green and pleasant land perfect for outdoor pursuits such as rambling and horse riding - Horse riding is something that is best done under the supervision of an experienced instructor - and if you had a horse riding instructor who was always punctual and scheduled your rides on time, you would say that you always “ride on time” - Which links us to Black Box and Ride On Time
MAJOR FAIRYTALE FLAW - AND DAVE GETS CONFUSED:>>>
It’s usually “fact, Dave wins” in response to most of the listener texts on Tedious Link, but today Vitty ballsed it up big time. He basically mixed together parts of three or four classic childrens fairytales, and subsequently claimed they were the same one. He came up with the following line: “the three little bears were mates with Goldilocks, who was scared of the big bad wolf”. Where to start?
1 - There were no “three little bears”. They would all be dwarf bears. Dave was actually thinking of the three little pigs..
2 - The bears weren’t mates with Goldilocks, they chased her out of their house as she’d slept in their beds and eaten their porridge.
3 - Goldilocks wasn’t scared of any big bad wolf. The only people scared of a wolf were Little Red Riding Hood and the three little pigs.
Chris then asked Dave to run through what he knows of the fairy tales Goldilocks, Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Little Pigs. This was classic infotainment if nothing else, teaching us that Dave thought a wolf blew down the house in Goldilocks and that the Three Little Pigs lived together in the same home. Maybe he could script his alternate versions for publishing...then again maybe not.
Aled - Your kids are gonna be so confused
Dave said to be brutally honest his favourite kids story as a child was always Three Billy Goats Gruff, which didn’t come into the equasion here. Therefore the only one he didn’t need to talk about was the only one that he remembers vividly. Nice. Dave said most are based on a similar theme though - which is women walking on their own through forests..
Dave - ...which is ill advised
(Rach laughs)
MINI MOYLES UPDATE:>>> (thanks as always to Jono)
- Next Friday the show will be coming live from Leeds, this ahead of the Leeds festival next weekend
- There’ll be tickets to be won every day next week and you’ll also be able to find out how you can meet Chris and the team in Leeds
- This weekend Moyles is having a weekend of booze and music at the V Festival
- Dave left work early today without giving anything for Mini Moyles - he's probably doing stuff for his wedding anniversary
- Dom has had nothing back from the roofers - no news is good news
- And Rachel might be doing some exercise this weekend - possibly wine glass lifting (her best sport)
WEEK HIGHLIGHTS:
SHOW OF THE WEEK: Thursday
MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: (From Monday) - News impressions, Stars In Their Eyes stuff and judo chat, (From Tuesday) - Poncho bashing, Dodgeball reviews and the brilliant Ben Stiller & Christine Taylor in live, (From Wednesday) - Poncho Mungus, Radio One Pop Quiz and Dave Does Maths, (From Thursday) - Men With Breasts, V Festival Rant, Exam stuff and some bloke called Mark getting a mention, (Plus From Today) - Dr Mark, Daves Fairytale Confusion and Carpark Catchphrase.
*You can Listen Again as usual to the weeks shows by following the Listen Again links from Chris’s Radio One mini site. Remember, Juliette’s Sport stories from the Olympics will be edited out of Listen Again throughout the duration of the Olympic Games - this due to legal stuff.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8277">> Friday 20th August 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
(Jules live in Athens at the end of her second week at the Olympics)
1. Razorlight - Golden Touch 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Shakedown - At Night, 3. Franz Ferdinand - Michael, 4. D12 - How Come, 5. BUZZ OFF - Right Said Fred - Deeply Dippy, 6. Pink - Last To Know 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. The 411 - Dumb, 8. Coldplay - God Put A Smile Upon Your Face, 9. Armand Van Helden - My My My 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Jennifer Lopez - Love Don't Cost A Thing, 11. Lostprophets - Last Summer, 12. Brian McFadden - Real To Me 8:30 NEWSBEAT 13. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words, 14. The Darkness - Growing On Me, 15. goldielookinchain - Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do, 16. Black Box - Ride On Time (Tedious Link), 17. Jo Jo - Leave (Get Out), 18. Nelly - My Place, 19. Eric Prydz - Call On Me 9:30 NEWSBEAT 20. Mary J Blige - Family Affair, 21. Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved, 22. 3 Of A Kind - Baby Cakes
Chris and Dave both sounded knackered as hell at the start of the show today, blaming their lack of sleep and ridiculously early alarm calls. Chris said he really does hate getting up so early in the morning now - although JK and Joel make it so much easier. Dave said he can’t have a radio on when he awakes from his slumber though, as it wakes Emma. Chris said to be fair he doesn’t listen when he gets up either...only when he gets into work. At the end of their final Early Breakfast cover JK joked that he’d wait for Moyles outside at 10 o’clock with a baseball bat.
Chris - ...which is stupid cos I don’t even play baseball!
(starts Razorlight)
Chris - Besides we’ve got a meeting at ten so I couldn’t go off anyway to play
Dave - mmm
The show was half decent today. Not brilliant, but by no means rubbish. After his on air plea yesterday, Chris has been sorted out with tickets for the V Festival this weekend. Only problem being, he wants a few more pairs so that his mate can come...
Chris - Now I don’t want to come across as greedy..
Dave (interrupting) - But you do
(Chris and Dave laugh)
With his tickets in the bag, Chris is now looking for an upgrade. That’s right, one that doesn’t say “AAA pass - with the exception of:” and then have an attached laminate that takes 10 minutes to read. Chris said go on then, he’ll be honest with us - he’s actually after upgrades, car park passes and extra tickets for Benny and Julie - two young orphans he’s been looking after recently...
Dom - How old are the orphans if they’ve got a car?
(Dave and Rach laugh)
Chris - Er... (laughs)
It was a bit of a bizarre beginning to the show today actually - mainly consisting of chat about Michael Bolton, circumcision and air trumpeters. Now that's what you call cutting edge kids. Today’s Buzz Off track was Right Said Fred, and more specifically their March 1992 number one Deeply Dippy. Rock on. Miserable Rach was the only one on the team to buzz in before the song ended - by quite a margin. She buzzed after just 11 seconds with Aled and Dave following over 3 minutes later. The text percentage was 61% Buzz On. Chris played a trail and then did a time check:
Chris - It’s 7:27. It’s Friday morning, the weekend is here from Radio One...well actually it’s from God, we just claim it
Dave - We love weekends
Chris - Oh yeah
Yesterday Chris decided to make a few impulse DVD purchases at a popular high street retailer in London. He spent a fortune on the following:
- Kill Bill Volume 2 (I no longer think it’s better than Volume 1 - Joint DVD out at Xmas folks)
- The Original Batman Movie (Nicholson and all that...)
- Seven (starring Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow and Morgan Freeman)
- Season 3 of 24
- Roland Rat TVAM 20th Anniversary Special
Rach - What did you buy that for?
Dave - Cos he’s a mentalist
- Volume 2 of He-Man and The Masters Of The Human Universe
- Shrek The Movie 3D Special (The first one as he’s yet to see it. Same here)
Giddy Aled - Can I come over and watch it with you?
Chris - No
Chris said he doesn’t like to discuss money on the air as it’s crude, but those DVD’s cost him just short of what his Prada sandals did. And on that subject, Chris said some woman came up to him in Ikea on Sunday and asked if the sandals he were wearing were the £100+ ones he talks about on the radio. Chris said yeah, and she replied:
Woman - Comedy Dave was right, you were ripped off (walks off)
(Rach, Aled and Dave laugh)
DOM GETS RIBBED:
Get this then. Newsreading slaphead Dom went for a kip yesterday afternoon and woke up with a broken rib. Well that’s according to him anyway. He said it was an excruciating right sided rib area pain that still hurts him like hell now, every time he stands up or turns right. Ranking at 7 on the pain scale too, a self medicating Dom was in need of help. Now as we all know Chris and Dave are not official doctors like Doctor Fox, proven by their advice to Dom today - go for a really big dump and a fart. I’m no one to be telling Chris what to do (I’m just a fan after all) but you can see why some critics have a go at him when prime time links are like this one, mainly all about the team’s toilet habits. Not really breakfast radio at it’s best.
Rachel - Oh please!! Do we really have to discuss this on air??!!
Thankfully not. Instead they had a proper doctor on the phone to diagnose Dom live to the nation - Dr. Mark Hamilton off of that there Radio One. Mark was just off on his way to work at Manchester Royal Infirmary, but said he could wait a few minutes as people would understand if he was talking to Chris.
Dave - How can they wait? You work in Accident and Emergency don’t you?...
(Dave, Chris, Dom and Mark laugh)
Mark agreed with Chris - Dom shouldn’t spontaneously break a rib like that. After a few moments of audio diagnosis, Mark said he thought Dom had Tietz syndrome - which basically means that the joint between his rib and his cartilage has become inflamed and extremely tender. Chris asked Mark if Dom is going to die. He replied "He is eventually, but not from this”. I’m sure Mark said exactly the same answer to exactly the same question with both Chris last year and Daves conjunctivitis t’other month. My favourite text on the whole thing was “Please Chris, poke Dom in the ribs”. Genius. Dr. Mark and Emma B are back Sunday @ 9 with The Sunday Surgery, and Chris said he’s found himself becoming a bit of an agony uncle himself recently...advising a female friend that her lack of period and persistent tummy ache may be something to do with high stress at work or a change of diet. Dr. Mark said he’s clearly been listening to the show too much then.
Dave (butting in) - and also when women have this time, their temperature can be higher and they move around more in bed
(all laugh)
Dr. Mark - That’s too much TV Dave
Dave - No I’ve seen it, they have more restless sleep..
Rach was quite impressed with Dr. Chris (not Dr. Dave) and said that she’ll next to come to him if she has any problems. Chris told her never to forget he’s always available when she needs him...unless he’s in the pub or the bookies. Chris said they better let Mark get off from his rib chat so he can go to the Surgery and see people with their eyes hanging out and arms dropping off.
Dr. Mark - That’s showbiz though
(Sunday @ 9 on R1 or @ http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife/sundaysurgery)
- Dr. Mark Hamilton “Disc Jockey Doctor” Interview: Here
JULIETTE LIVE IN ATHENS:>>>>
(Jules covering the Sailing for Five Live - overlooking The Olympic Mariner in Athens)
Jules has now been in Athens for a fortnight and the games are a week old...so it’s about time we got our first god damn gold medal. It came in the Sailing yesterday - and an over excited Jules phoned Chris to tell him the good news straight away, this as he was just getting out of his afternoon bath. *Cue the snippet of Gold by Spandau Ballet* (it’s been on standby for a week). The three blond girls who won in the Yngling class yesterday (don’t ask) were Shirley Robertson, Sarah Webb and Sarah Ayton. Chris asked if they were flat chested like most female athletes...
Jules - They’re not Chris
Chris - Really?
Jules - No, they’re buxom lasses..
Chris (laughs) - Buxom lasses, they’ll love that...
Dave said 3 girls in a top heavy loveboat then. Jules said he was just fantasising now. She also thinks Chris will like Sarah Ayton the most, who’s 24 and very pretty. Good mornin'. Jules is promising 2 more GB Sailing Golds tomorrow, which is her busiest day of the weekend. On Sunday she’s going to the Acropolis (no not the local nightclub) and tonight she's going out to play. Chris asked her if she’s going to do her “Hello I’m Vernon Kay from Bolton, Come on Team GB” line again. So feminine...
Chris - or as Vernon said
*plays Vernon clip from yesterday* - Is that a girl?
(all laugh)
(- JULIETTE’S RADIO ONE ONLINE OLYMPIC DIARY)
(- JULIETTE’S RADIO ONE ONLINE OLYMPIC PHOTOS)
THE CHRIS MOYLES PENALTY SHOOT OUT AND SECRET STUDENT STUFF:>>>>
Week 2 then of the new look Premiership tickets competition on the show, which I have to admit ran (albeit only a bit) quicker and better than last week. This’ll be the last time I explain the rules but basically it’s two fans against each other in a Best Of 3 Penalty Shoot Out, i.e each caller gets played a clip preceding three penalties and has to guess whether the player scores or misses. Best out of three wins - simple. This weeks tickets were for Sunday’s West Midlands derby at The Hawthorns between West Brom and Villa. They were home end seats, so Baggies fans Richard (a lorry driver) and Phil (a grocer) were on the air to play The Chris Moyles Show Penalty Shoot Out:
RICHARD VERSUS PHIL:>>>
RICHARD - David Beckham Vs Turkey (Missed - Wrong), Dion Dublin Vs Liverpool (Scored - Wrong)
PHIL - Thierry Henry Vs Newcastle (Scored - Correct), Henrik Larsson Vs Denmark (Scored - Correct)
Phil’s quick victory has now put him in a bit of a pickle as regards this weekend. He was supposed to be driving down to Bristol on Saturday night with his fiancee to see her dad and talk wedding stuff. The game is a 1pm Sunday kick off though, so he’s screwed. He claims he’s definitely going to find a way to get to the game, although it seems a big barney is on the cards now. Dave said him and Emma had a row last night as he tried to persuade her to let him go to the Palace - Everton game on their first wedding anniversary weekend. Chris said it’s funny how these women seem to rank anniversaries and couple stuff way ahead of important football games. Talking of important football games, Leeds don't have one against Forest in the Championship at Elland Road tomorrow. After launching the shows new “Secret Student” feature yesterday, today saw Chris and Dave running through a few of the early candidates, who had entered by leaving voice messages on 08700 100 100 (Option 3). Obviously all identities were kept anonymous but here’s who we heard from this morning:
*An "irritating" party animal and gossiping girly from the South Of England
*A bloke from the Midlands who needs pizza vouchers and doesn’t like baked beans
*Another over confident and slightly annoying girl who does lots of charidee work
*A bloke called Dan who had tried to get through to Scott Mills’s show but hit the wrong key
*A 5ft 8 long legged blonde who would love to win as that would mean meeting Chris Moyles. She then said they could hook up, go out and get drunk sometime - and also let her introduce him to all her girl mates at uni who she’ll be sharing a room with. We have a winner then. Chris and Dave said she’s definitely in the lead so far, even though she does say “I’m a long legged blonde past my shoulders” at one point...
Dave - Legs past her shoulders? (laughs) That’s not right, not unless you’re doing yoga
(Rach laughs)
Chris - Well I tell you what, if she can get her legs over her shoulders she’s won already!!!
Dave (laughs) - No further applications needed
**(You can still call 08700 100 100 and go to Option 3 - more details here)**
A SCARY CARPARK CATCHPHRASE (FOR RACHEL):
PAUL a bit of a knobhead who works at Rick Steins restaurant (mmm bellas fish) 2
CRAIG some psychopathic Scottish builder obsessed with Rachel 1
**One hell of a CPC today...but for all the wrong reasons. I mean at the times we weren’t using subtitles just to understand the callers, they were either trying to be funny or trying to score with the producer of the programme. Chris wasn’t happy with Jocelyn’s choice of callers again and asked what he had done to deserve this pair of muppets. He said a good plan for 10 o’clock would be to line Aled and Joce up and just fire basketballs at their heads in a Dodgeball stylee. Dumb ass Craig asked who Josh was, and Chris had to explain that he was talking about “Joce”, as in Jocelyn - the Irish girl he’d just been speaking on the phone to for five minutes. Craig said cut the bull anyway - he just wanted to speak to Rachel. Rach said she was too busy working to talk, although Craig just wanted a signed photo of her whether or not he won the game. She sounded very scared and uncomfortable, although Craig said he’s not bad...
Dave - Well you’re certainly not good on the caller front
Craig said he was on the web the other day and saw the pic of Rach looking gorgeous with Will Smith. While it’s true she was looking good in that photo, Craig was quickly reaching stalker status and Aled cut him off before he could do anything else. Chris promised Craig one of Rachel’s signed bras as a consolation prize, although he was obviously lying and said he’d send him one of his own instead. He’ll never know...**
Daves Tedious Link
Tori Amos Cornflake Girl - Tori Amos’s initials are TA, which is also the initials of the territorial army - The territorial army are often busy at the weekends and in that respect share something in common with Vernon Kay - Vernon Kay is from Bolton - Bolton first name Michael is a legendary singer from America who scored a top 17 hit in 1992 with Steel Bars - Steel bars are what you’d find on the windows of a prison - Prison or more precisely a prison stretch is often referred to as doing porridge - Porridge was the breakfast of choice for the three little bears - The three little bears were mates with Goldilocks, who was scared of the big bad wolf - If you add “were” to wolf you get werewolf, which is like a fictional cross between a wolf and a person, as in the American werewolf in London - London is the capital of England - England is a green and pleasant land perfect for outdoor pursuits such as rambling and horse riding - Horse riding is something that is best done under the supervision of an experienced instructor - and if you had a horse riding instructor who was always punctual and scheduled your rides on time, you would say that you always “ride on time” - Which links us to Black Box and Ride On Time
MAJOR FAIRYTALE FLAW - AND DAVE GETS CONFUSED:>>>
It’s usually “fact, Dave wins” in response to most of the listener texts on Tedious Link, but today Vitty ballsed it up big time. He basically mixed together parts of three or four classic childrens fairytales, and subsequently claimed they were the same one. He came up with the following line: “the three little bears were mates with Goldilocks, who was scared of the big bad wolf”. Where to start?
1 - There were no “three little bears”. They would all be dwarf bears. Dave was actually thinking of the three little pigs..
2 - The bears weren’t mates with Goldilocks, they chased her out of their house as she’d slept in their beds and eaten their porridge.
3 - Goldilocks wasn’t scared of any big bad wolf. The only people scared of a wolf were Little Red Riding Hood and the three little pigs.
Chris then asked Dave to run through what he knows of the fairy tales Goldilocks, Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Little Pigs. This was classic infotainment if nothing else, teaching us that Dave thought a wolf blew down the house in Goldilocks and that the Three Little Pigs lived together in the same home. Maybe he could script his alternate versions for publishing...then again maybe not.
Aled - Your kids are gonna be so confused
Dave said to be brutally honest his favourite kids story as a child was always Three Billy Goats Gruff, which didn’t come into the equasion here. Therefore the only one he didn’t need to talk about was the only one that he remembers vividly. Nice. Dave said most are based on a similar theme though - which is women walking on their own through forests..
Dave - ...which is ill advised
(Rach laughs)
MINI MOYLES UPDATE:>>> (thanks as always to Jono)
- Next Friday the show will be coming live from Leeds, this ahead of the Leeds festival next weekend
- There’ll be tickets to be won every day next week and you’ll also be able to find out how you can meet Chris and the team in Leeds
- This weekend Moyles is having a weekend of booze and music at the V Festival
- Dave left work early today without giving anything for Mini Moyles - he's probably doing stuff for his wedding anniversary
- Dom has had nothing back from the roofers - no news is good news
- And Rachel might be doing some exercise this weekend - possibly wine glass lifting (her best sport)
WEEK HIGHLIGHTS:
SHOW OF THE WEEK: Thursday
MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: (From Monday) - News impressions, Stars In Their Eyes stuff and judo chat, (From Tuesday) - Poncho bashing, Dodgeball reviews and the brilliant Ben Stiller & Christine Taylor in live, (From Wednesday) - Poncho Mungus, Radio One Pop Quiz and Dave Does Maths, (From Thursday) - Men With Breasts, V Festival Rant, Exam stuff and some bloke called Mark getting a mention, (Plus From Today) - Dr Mark, Daves Fairytale Confusion and Carpark Catchphrase.
*You can Listen Again as usual to the weeks shows by following the Listen Again links from Chris’s Radio One mini site. Remember, Juliette’s Sport stories from the Olympics will be edited out of Listen Again throughout the duration of the Olympic Games - this due to legal stuff.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8277">> Friday 20th August 2004 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>
