The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#242019
1. No Doubt - It’s My Life 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Boogie Pimps - Somebody To Love, 3. Joss Stone - You Had Me, 4. goldielookinchain - Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do, 5. BUZZ OFF - Kajagoogoo - Too Shy, 6. 50 Cent - If I Can’t 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Destiny’s Child - Independent Women, 8. Robbie Williams - Radio, 9. Ian Brown feat Noel Gallagher - Keep What Ya Got (Live @ Maida Vale for Jo Whiley - 21/09/04) 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Love Inc - You’re A Superstar, 11. Ashlee Simpson - Pieces Of Me, 12. Good Charlotte - Predictable 8:30 NEWSBEAT 13. Sugababes - Hole In The Head, 14. Green Day - American Idiot, 15. The Black Eyed Peas - Shut Up, 16. Sugarhill Gang - Rapper’s Delight (Tedious Link), 17. Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved, 18. Jay Sean - Stolen, 19. Shapeshifters - Lola’s Theme, 20. The Thrills - Whatever Happened To Corey Haim 9:30 NEWSBEAT 21. Razorlight - Vice, 22. Mary J Blige - Family Affair, 23. The Music - Freedom Fighters

Chris and Dave man flu update - erm, well they still have it. Worse than ever too, by the sounds of it anyway. Both had still showed up for work though, as remember when they’re off it causes “a hardship for the nation...s”. Dom is more than likely the source of their flu, although Jules thought they were just exaggerating everything wildly...
Jules - You’re just moaning over nothing... it’s a cold!!
(collective “ohhh” from Moyles, Dave and Dom)
Chris - Seriously, you women don’t know what real pain’s like... what with your childbirth, that piece of cake..
(Rach and Jules’s turn to “ohhh” this time)
Chris - Oh c’mon. You don’t know what pain is...
Rach - Do you want me to show you?
Chris (raises voice) - How would you know??!!
Dave - Are you gonna give birth now?
(Dom, Rach and Jules laugh)
Dom - You kept it very quiet Rach!
Chris (as Rachel) - “You think that man flu’s bad, check this out... aaaarrrggghhh!!!”
(whole team laugh loudly as Chris plays jingle)

Health expert Dr Dom read out his list of classic flu symptoms, all of which Chris and Dave said they could identify with in some way or another. These included +38 degree fever, aches and pains in the muscles, chills (they’re multiplying), headaches, tiredness, chest pains, a sore throat and a loss of appetite. Chris said yep, all were true - apart from that last one of course. Dom said congratulations to patients Moyles and Vitty, who both scored very high on the man flu-ometer scale.
Dave - It’s not easy being a man
Dom - It’s bloomin not..
(Rach laughs)

Judging by all the early bird texters, Chris and Dave weren’t the only males suffering from a severe bout of man flu today. Dave in Essex (not David Essex) said he was getting “headaches and everything”:
Chris (reads another text) - “I literally could drop at any second with my man flu, but I will battle on with a full days work. Oh and the wife is in bed with a cold - pathetic. From Ben”..
(Dom, Dave and Jules laugh)

Catherine in Manchester texted in saying that she’s a girl, but she thinks she’s got man flu too. Chris and Dave were quick to pooh pooh that idea, saying no love - you’ve got a cold, now just get over it. There was also a beautiful moment off the back of GLC and just before Buzz Off, when Comedy Dave laughed - and snotted everywhere. He said he just couldn’t control his bodily functions...
Dave - Hi girls
Chris (sings) - “Oh, Snot don’t kill people, laughing does”... or summat
(Dom and Dave laugh)
Dave - The difficult second single...

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(Man flu ain’t a laughing matter...)
Chris’s old buttylicious mate Longman sent him a text - saying the best way to fight the man flu is to drink plenty of soup and wrap hot towels round your head. Dave was fine with the hot towels thing, but said he couldn’t have any soup. He actually does have some soup in, but he’s left all the soup bowls back at his and Emma’s old flat. This along with other bits and bobs such as coats and CD’s...
Chris - So you haven’t moved in at all then?
Dave - No I have..

Chris talked about the mess his brother Kieran made in his Brixton maisonette last week - this cos he was in the processing of moving and had to leave a load of boxes in there. They were all gone by the time Chris got back from One Big Weekend, but Keiran had taken Chris’s spare set of cutlery. That’s the one Dave (or rather Emma) bought him. Kieran also made off with a frying pan, but Chris said he wasn’t that arsed as he never uses it anyway. This despite the fact he has a dead posh kitchen. It has purple glass tiles, a microwave fitted on the wall - and granite work tops... not marble ones though, as Dave had guessed.
Rach - and a gold cooker?
(her and Dave laugh)

Moyles said to be truthful, he still doesn’t know how to fully operate that NASA designed Microwave - he just takes an educated guess at what the buttons do. Dave has virtually got the grasp of his new one - with his preferred meal of choice being “lasagna on toast”, oh and add to that “pie on toast” and “crispy pancakes on toast”.

LONGMAN ON THE LINE - AND THE CHRIS MOYLES CHICKEN CURRY SANDWICH:
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(all will be explained)
Daves stupid toast ideas got the team talking after 8:00, and Dave said yes (in a way) - his toast/naan bread acts as some kind of plate or canvas to his meal. Other favourite meals of his include the vile sounding “sugar butties” - and fish fingers on toast (Dave says you can get five medium sized fish fingers on a slice of white toast if you use the correct stacking system - fascinating). Chris said you can’t beat a good sandwich though, and the conversation spiralled off in the direction of bread based butties - not any of that toast malarkey.
Dave - But don’t you find you don’t get the same rigidity with bread as you do with toast?
(Rach laughs)
Chris - Not really cos I don’t know what that word means..
(plays jingle)
*jingle finishes - Love Inc intro plays*
Chris - What was it - “rigility”?
Dave - No - “rigidity”
Chris - But I lost that years ago...
(pause)
Dave (laughs) - Wasn’t that long ago!
Chris (laughs) - Well yeah, it’s at least a fortnight..

Literally thousands of texts on this came in - with hundreds of weird (and sometimes down right sick) sandwich combinations. These included the following: strawberry jam and cheddar cheese, grated chocolate, Mars bar sarnies, mash potato and gravy, scrambled egg and salad cream, super noodles, banana and sugar - and chicken curry and rice in bread. Chris said that is class - and described how he’d put the lumps of chicken and dollops of rice inside the bread. I’ve already mentioned him once today - but now seemed an appropriate time as any to stick on the sandwich king himself, Longman. He is of course the owner of Wood Lane stores (i.e Buttylicious) in Rothwell near Leeds, although at the moment remember he is technically banned from the show by Rachel - this cos of previous “vulgar remarks”. She was kind and said that he could come back on today, so long as he didn’t swear and wasn’t rude. Longman said he’d learned his lesson...
Longman - Hullo Rachel!
(Dave laughs)
Rach - Morning! Now don’t be rude..
Longman - Thank you

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Longman wasn’t happy with Dave, and said he’d been offended and somewhat insulted by his so called “sandwich ideas” this morning, much like the rest of the sandwich industry.
Longman - You can tell Daves not from Yorkshire can’t you, with all his fancy toast and naan bread ideas..
Longman was keen to stress that anything on toast was a toasted sandwich, and not a regulation sandwich. Chris said a pasty sandwich sounded good...
Longman - But the only rule of sandwich making Chris is that you can’t put something in the sandwich that already contains bread
Chris - Right ok
(him and Dave laugh)

Shock horror, today’s specials at Buttylicious are egg mayo and bacon, cajun chicken and BLT. Longman did say that for one day only though, he would put a special sandwich on the menu - as suggested by The Chris Moyles Show listeners (as long as it didn’t contain cucumbers). A mutual decision was made that the dish chosen would be - a chicken curry sandwich. Longman said he’d have it ready by half nine. Quality service...

RADIO 1 ONLINE’S GUIDE TO MAKING YOUR OWN CHICKEN CURRY SANDWICH:>>>
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- http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chrismoyles ... y_sandwich
Here we go then. In an effort to spread the word about this tasty treat, Chris called upon all sandwich shops in the UK to add the chicken curry sandwich to their menu - for just one day only. Tomorrow we'll no doubt hear from some of the shops and cafes that sold the sandwich, but in the meantime my close personal friends over @ Radio 1 ONLINE have provided a useful guide - so that you can make your own chicken curry sandwich: (see above pic)
- Step 1: Cook chicken
- Step 2: Add curry sauce to chicken
- Step 3: Carefully lower chicken into rice
- Step 4: Take two slices of bread
- Step 5: Place chicken on bread A
- Step 6: Firmly, but gently place bread B on the other side of the chicken
- Step 7: Voila - your sandwich is now ready to enjoy!!!

CLASSIC PAGE 3 CHAT, BUZZ OFF - AND MORE FROM MR SECRET STUDENT:>>>
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The Chris Moyles Show - Highbrow Entertainment For A Confused Generation. Tis true an all. Cos after 8:30, Chris and Dave indulged in a very tasteful discussion on who their favourite page 3 girls are. Dave said all the classics like your Tanias from Birmingham have now hung up their bras as it were (or rather put them back on). He said he wasn’t so well up on the “new crop”... with girls such as Natasha and Katie. He did fairly well when tested on the oldens though - such as your Zoes from London, your Leilanis from Bournemouth, and your Jo Hicks from Leicester. Dave said in the end he’d probably have to go for Nicola T as his favourite page 3 girl, although that new girl Melanie is quite nice too. Chris said btw, page 3 is a great British tradition and actually very arty - not just an excuse for desperate men to perv over girls:
Chris - Which ones Melanie?
Dave - That one there
Chris - Oh yeah I’d do her..
(Dom laughs)

Buzz Off today had a <s>slightly</s> very cheesy 80’s feel to it - Too Shy by Kajagoogoo (number one back in January 83). Chris was doing the dance and Dom playing bass. Would have made a nice webcam moment I think. Rach was first to buzz on 1:58, Dom next on 2:37 and Dave last on 3:27. The text vote was 55% Buzz On, although some people weren’t big fans of the track. One random text even said “Will you shut up and play some decent music, preferably The Pet Shop Boys”. Smell the irony..
Dave - Must be deranged
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The Mystery Mister was back on today at 20 past 9 - that being the shows new “Secret Student”, who was out last night at a fancy dress school disco (freshers week y’see). He said despite the large amount of young women there in revealing clothing, he played it cool and didn’t cop off. He’s decided not to go straight in at the deep end. He’s playing the tactics game. As for living a life of mystery, he said he feels like a shadow (although not the fella from Gladiators). He thinks one of the girls in his flat might have a suspicion about him being Secret Student, although he said he’d deny it all the way. Following Monday’s schoolboy error of missing his first appointment with his tutor, the Secret Student went to see her yesterday afternoon. Only problem being, he later found out that by going to see her yesterday - he’d missed an even more important lecture with a different tutor. Going well then eh? He’s off to register for a few more of his modules this morning, and then intends to sleep all afternoon - this before another big night out tonight. More details tomorrow no doubt..

ROUND UP OF OTHER STUFF THIS MORNING:>>>
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*Chris and Dave discussing news editor Toby Sealey’s life jacket...
Dom - It’s a youth coat..
(Dave and Rach laugh)

*Rachel talking about Ian Brown’s bongo player
*Plus Chris mentioning how he embarrassingly just signed a big Radio 1 Peace Week thing with the word “PEACE”, while all the other DJ’s did dead long and serious essays about it...
Dave - Well it’s straight to the point isn’t it?

CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
ANTHONY an Avis car driver from Maidstone in Kent 2
DIM TIM a total arse with a ridiculous accent from Bicester 1
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Dave - Do you have a real voice?
Tim - Er... this is it
Dave - Right


Daves Tedious Link
Oasis Champagne Supernova - Supernova Heights was the name of a very famous house, a bit like Southfork Ranch in Dallas - Dallas has an American football team called The Cowboys - Cowboys wear chaps - If you add the letters T, I, C and K to chaps you get “chapstick”, which is what you might apply to your lips if they are dry - Dry is the opposite of wet - Wet Wet Wet are a Glasgow band fronted by Marti Pellow - If you swap the E in Pellow for an I you get “pillow”, which is something you might have stuffed with feathers - “Feathers” rhymes with “leathers”, which are the most sensible garments to wear when riding a motorcycle - Motorcycle Emptiness was a big hit for the Manic Street Preachers - The Manic Street Preachers are a musical trio, or a three piece - “Three piece” is a phrase commonly associated with furniture suites - Furniture needs to be delivered, and is normally protected during transportation with wrappers - and when you think of the word “rappers” in the context of the most important and ground breaking record in the history of hip hop, you think of Rapper’s Delight by the Sugarhill Gang - Which predictably links us to the Sugarhill Gang and the awesome Rapper’s Delight (although not the full 12 minute version unfortunately)

FLAW
*Wet Wet Wet are from Clydebank, not Glasgow

MINI MOYLES UPDATE:>>> (my thanks to Sarah Hillary)
- On Friday it’s the first play of the new U2 record on the show - called “Vertigo”..
- Today Chris will be drinking with an old friend who will introduce him to 3 legendary old R1 DJ’s
- Dave is going to the opticians for new contact lenses and Rachel will be finalising her new flat, and looking for a bed and sofa
- Aled is ill and off work. Dom's uncle is ill too - he'll be visiting him in hospital
- Jules is going to Stoke to visit her mates. Plus (of course) everyone will be looking out for Chicken Curry Sandwiches...
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<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8431">> Wed 22nd September 04 - What Did You Think Of This Show/Review? Tell Us Here! <</A>

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